Dr. Blue Man

Personal Test - Do You Put Yourself Down?

2009-10-27T14:20:19-04:00

When you disregard your positive qualities by telling yourself, “I’m too fat, I’m no good, I never do anything right, I can’t talk to people, people don’t like me…” you’ll always find verification of what you’re looking for.

Dr. Richard Carlson says: “Putting yourself down reinforces rather than corrects your imperfections by placing unnecessary attention and energy on everything that’s wrong, rather than what’s right with you. Why would you do this knowing the only possible result is a negative outlook, more negative feelings and less appreciation for the gift of life? People who regularly put themselves down are often seen as complainers, not to mention the example they set. Everyone has aspects of themselves they’d like to improve, but this doesn’t mean you should beat yourself up. Here on earth none of us is ever going to be perfect, but putting yourself down isn’t the answer.”

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. That doesn’t mean that you are perfect or that you wake up tomorrow being almost perfect. I believe that leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manager, as a parent AND helping those people reach THEIR potential. What’s important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. I believe leadership is a skill that is developed and built NOT a talent or a gift that is something you are born with. Here are some specifics:

1) Learn to be strong but not impolite.

John Wooden is one of the strongest yet most polite men I have ever met and he always seems to take this extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It’s not even a good substitute.

2) Learn to develop humor without folly.

In leadership, we learn that it’s okay to be witty but not silly; fun but not foolish. Humor is such a magnet. But we must be very careful to define this properly. For years, I thought laughter meant something was humorous - not always true. I learned this lesson years ago on the golf course. It seems that one of the “normal” behaviors is to laugh at the other guys- for missing putts, for short drives, etc. I have to admit I was one of the biggest contributors until I realized that it wasn’t really funny or uplifting.

3) Learn to be bold but not a bully.

It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you’ve got to walk in front of your group. You’ve got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, and discover the first sign of trouble. Like the farmer, if you want any rewards at harvest time, you have got to be bold and face the weeds and the rain and the bugs straight on. You’ve got to seize the moment.

4) Learn to be humble but not timid.

You can’t get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. But humility is a virtue; timidity is a disease. It’s an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem. Humility is almost a lifelong endeavor. A sense of awe of where you belong in the overall scheme of the universe. A sense of wonder. An awareness of the human soul and spirit. An understanding that there is something unique about you. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we’re part of the stars.

5) Learn to be proud but not arrogant.

It takes pride to build your ambitions. It takes pride in your community. It takes pride in a cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is to be proud without being arrogant. I believe ALL have us have egos but we need to learn to manage ours to be better leaders. I believe I have seen the worst kind of arrogance. It is arrogance from ignorance. It’s intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that’s just too much to take.

6) Learn to be kind but not weak.

We must not mistake weakness for kindness. Kindness isn’t weak. Kindness is a quiet type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell someone the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion and manipulation

7) Learn to be a chameleon.

Life is unique. Leadership is unique. The skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. However, the fundamental skills of leadership can be adopted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community and at home. A chameleon changes to reflect his environment- so do good leaders. If you are meeting someone one on one try to match their mannerisms so that they feel more comfortable.

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Economics have Changed - Have You?

2009-10-26T10:20:41-04:00

I recently heard the mayor of Detroit report that the unemployment is 30% and “that may be a little low”. He also reported that the unemployment rate in the US has reached a "27 year high." Worse -- Big companies like Starbucks, AOL, Boeing, Pfizer, Home Depot and thousands of smaller companies are planning massive layoffs in the months ahead.

There are now OVER 11.1 million workers with no paycheck and that number is much higher for those with reduced paychecks. This is the worst decline in US history and many experts believe that unemployment numbers will "double" in the next 12 - 24 months.

....Yes, "double."

So now what? There are two pieces of advice I have for you.

1. REINVENT YOURSELF!

If you think of yourself as Joe, manager of “ABC, Inc.”- reinvent yourself. If you think of yourself as Joe, worker at “XYZ Corp.”- reinvent yourself. How? Start thinking of yourself as owner of YOU, Inc. You, Inc. can do multiple things. “My” You, Inc. owns an internet travel and shopping business, a mortgage company and a sales consulting firm. What about yours?

I am always looking for other peoples’ perspective; one of the best ways I have found to do this is by finding great quotes. Let me share a couple:

"Most people work 40-plus hours a week at jobs they don't like to buy things they don't need." —anti-consumerist Madeline Nelson

"I had one of the best jobs in the world, but there is a world of opportunity." —Chris Sacca, former head of special initiatives at Google

The American Dream has been roughed up lately. There is doubt where there once was direction. There is retrenching instead of renaissance. But there is one place where you can still dirty your hands with hope, display your ingenuity, taste a measure of independence, and feel a bit like your great-granddad must have felt--fresh off the boat, testing your potential.

2. START A BUSINESS

I know you've thought about it, too. Maybe you've been developing an invention in your head for years and now you're considering patenting it. Or maybe you have a special family recipe or an idea for a Web site, or you simply wonder what you could become if you put as much effort into working for yourself as you now do for someone else.

"In an economic downturn, entrepreneurship is usually the savior," says Chad Moutray, Ph. D., the director of economic research for the Office of Advocacy at the Small Business Administration (SBA). Although you may find it difficult to believe in the government, the economy, and even the future, there's still one thing you can have unwavering faith in: yourself.

Top Ten Tiger Woods Lessons for Success

2009-10-14T16:19:57-04:00

When I say the name Tiger Woods- what is the first word that comes in your head? Golfer? Wow? Winner? Unbelievable?...

Tiger Woods is arguably the most recognized athlete in the world. He has elevated his sport to a new level. He has set new standards for consistentency and excellence. Newsweek recently asked him what his “secret of success” was. I found his answers very insightful. Let me know what you think.

1. Expect to win. Know in your heart that you are a winner.

2. Let your expectations show. Express no doubts, let your competitors and your friends know that you have none.

3. Work, practice, work, and practice some more. At the top of his field, he can still be seen hitting buckets of balls until dark - even if he's just won.

4. Dress and act like a winner. This is a part of keeping yourself in a winning frame of mind.

5. Have a sense of drama - don't create it but know it when you see it. You don't have to seek out publicity, but know how to accept and use it when it comes to you.

6. Know that there is always room to grow. Being the best does not mean you can't be even better.

7. Hang with the winners. They understand the pressures and situations in which you will find yourself.

8. Put yourself in situations where you are not known as a success. May be difficult, but this helps you to stay real.

9. Value and protect your free time and do what you enjoy. The discipline of being a winner needs a safety valve from time to time.

10. Remember those who need help. Somewhere, someone helped you - be willing to give back.

Source: Newsweek.

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Thinking of Quitting? Don’t!

2009-10-08T11:06:32-04:00

George Frideric Handel was a musical prodigy. You probably know him best as the composer of the “Handel’s Messiah”, but perhaps you don’t know how it “happened”.

At twenty-one he was a keyboard virtuoso. When he turned to composing he gained immediate fame and soon was appointed Kapellmeister to the Elector of Hanover (later King George I of England).

When Handel moved to England his fame grew. By the time he was forty he was world famous. But despite his talent and fame he faced considerable adversity - some internal, some external. Rivalry with English composers was fierce. Audiences were fickle; sometimes they didn’t turn out for his performances. He was the victim of the changing political winds. Several times he found himself on the verge of bankruptcy. His problems were compounded by failing health. He suffered a stroke which left his right arm limp and damaged the use of four fingers in his right hand. Although he recovered, it left him battling depression.

Finally, at fifty-six, Handel decided it was time to retire. Discouraged, miserable and consumed with debt, he felt certain he’d land in a debtor’s prison. So on April 8, 1741, he gave what he considered his farewell concert. Disappointed and filled with self-pity, he gave up. But that year something incredible happened. A wealthy friend named Charles Jennings encouraged Handel by visiting him and giving him a libretto based on the life of Christ. The work intrigued Handel so he began writing. Immediately the floodgates of inspiration opened. For three weeks he wrote almost nonstop. Then he spent another two days creating the orchestrations. In twenty-four days he had completed the 260-page manuscript of Messiah.

Thinking of quitting? Don’t!

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Gripped by Fear?

2009-10-06T04:00:00-04:00

False Evidence Appearing Real. Ben Franklin once said that 90% of what we fear never happens - not a very efficient or effective use of time or energy is it?

Have you ever felt the grip of fear? Like the feeling you get when you’re already short of funds for the month and an unexpected bill arrives... the fear of rejection you feel before you pick up the phone to make certain calls... the fear of speaking up in a meeting when you know you’ve got the solution to the problem?

Has the fear of failure (or the fear of success) kept you from starting that business you’ve always wanted . . . or going after that job that you’ve secretly coveted for such a long time?

Especially in our current economic environment, the biggest barrier that most people have to overcome is fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of making decisions. Fear of change. Fear of confrontation. Fear of loss. Fear of failure. And of course the big one–fear of success!

I see it when I speak to groups. I see it when I meet with people one on one. I hear it when I talk to people on the phone. It is everywhere. I have two solutions.

The first is to conquer fear with action. Next time fear strikes - move in THAT direction. To quote Nike - “just do it”. Afraid to pick up the phone- just do it! Afraid to address the group - just do it!

The second is to pick up a book called Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear by Max Lucado. In my opinion, it is a great book and easy read - the ultimate result though is what YOU will do with it.

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Leadership Lesson from the Blue Man Group

2009-10-01T05:00:00-04:00

I have seen the Blue Man Group on numerous occasions and obviously have a great affinity for their ‘blueness”. One of the reasons for this is what I would like to call their leadership lesson.

As you may or may not know- there are multiple Blue Man Groups. They don’t fly from NYC to Chicago to Las Vegas in one day to do a show. They were formed in 1988 with three members and performed the first three years of the New York theatrical run without understudies. They continue to perform, but the company has expanded to include close to 60 Blue Men and over 50 musicians, all of whom rotate into the shows and work on other projects in various combinations. Blue Men are performers of either gender who meet specific physical requirements (athletic build, height between 5'10"-6'1"), specific performing talents (percussion, acting, non-verbal communication), and certain personality traits (openness, charisma, willingness to collaborate), among other qualifications.

The leadership lesson is this: it is ALL about the team. There are no names. There are no individual accomplishments. There are no awards. Part of the selection process is the ability to work in a team environment- personal glory is not accepted. The upside is that if someone is sick or unable to perform- the show goes on. Let’s build a team like that!

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How Did You Get So Rich?

2009-09-23T09:35:22-04:00

We stumbled on to a new show that we find fascinating. Joan Rivers gets herself invited to wealthy peoples’ houses and asks, “how did you get so rich?” During each episode she takes us inside the mega-mansions of everyday Americans who started out with nothing except great ideas in their heads and determination in their hearts, and turned it all into a bloody fortune. Without exception, the people she visits with are nice people that are willing to share with her their life and the struggles. That’s right the struggles. Not one of them made it “easily”. There was a great deal of work, tenacity, singleness of focus, overcoming their friends and families “advice”, and in some case overcoming themselves.

On the show a couple nights ago Joan introduced us to a Croatian immigrant named Robert Herjavec who grew up with dirt floors and no running water. His hard work has paid off: He now has his own 55,000-suqare-foot home with his own ballroom to dance in, paints his walls with liquid gold and swims laps in an indoor pool that he doesn’t heat! Some people may call that frugal or thrifty but she called it cheap and chilly! He also has seven different Lamborghinis, each in a different color for every day of the week.

She also interviewed the inventor of the five-chamber bubble blower who is so rich his dog has a walk-in closet and a private chef. This pampered pooch also has a psychiatrist because at times, he gets stressed out.

A number of “commonalities” have hit me. They all have done it “on their own”. None of them have had a job and lived on less than they made to get rich. All of them own something. Almost all are “rags to riches” stories or at relative to where they are now. All of them “left the good for great”. Some wanted to be rich and set the goal. Others did what they loved doing and got rich. Some were inventors- which means they recognized a need and built something to fill it. Others found a business system and maximized it for them. Most of us are held hostage by our choices which include our choice of making a living. It seems to me that most people live on “fixed income”. Let’s think about that. Fixed income by definition means that your income is fixed- it can not go up or down- it is fixed. Most of the time that term is used when it applies to government pay but don’t most that have a job live on fixed income? The answer unfortunately is yes.

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WORDS - Less is more

2009-09-12T21:05:13-04:00

I was thinking about the power of words recently. There are some words that can bring a tear to your eye. There are words that can get you angry. Some words can even create action. So I decided to look at some famous documents for fun.

Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, which has defined our nation, is all of 268 words.

The Declaration of Independence runs about 1,300 words.

The Constitution, which has served us for more than two centuries, comes to some 5,000 words.

The Holy Bible has about 773,000 words.

The famous novel, A Dance to the Music of Time by Anthony Powels has more than 1,000,000 words.

The federal income tax code and all its attendant rules and regulations: 9 million words and rising.

I think that less is more - don’t you?

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Keep Your Mind Tuned to the Success Station - CHANGE THE STATION

2009-09-10T08:00:00-04:00

In Chris Widener’s blog he writes that we need to keep our mind tuned to the success station. He uses the analogy of a radio station to illustrate how our thinking can be improved by listening to positive rather than negative stuff. A couple of thoughts occurred to me that I wanted to share.

Many of us grow up listening to the radio, the question is what station? Perhaps you grew listening to WYCDT (You Can’t Do That). When you tried to ride your bike you were told YCDT. When you tried to make the varsity team you were told YCDT. When you wanted to go to college, get a nice car, and start a business… you were told YCDT. Well that radio program needs to change so CHANGE THE STATION.

Maybe you grew up WYCHT (You can’t have that). When you wanted your first bike or Barbie you were told YCHT or we can’t afford that. When you wanted a new outfit you were told YCHT. Maybe it was an Xbox, computer, iPod, cell phone… CHANGE THE STATION.

The station you choose to listen to is your choice. No one can force you to listen to a particular station. If you don’t like what is playing CHANGE THE STATION!

We live in a world today were we are bombarded with messages and experts tell us most of them are negative. It is not easy to find the positive stations, but they are out there so if you are listening to negative - CHANGE THE STATION.

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Gift or Skill - What's the difference?

2009-09-08T15:40:32-04:00

I was recently told that I “had a great gift with people”. My first response in my mind was “you’ve got to be kidding” because I remember all the faux pas, wrong words at the wrong time and all the times that I have just felt totally out of place in a social setting. But I think this concept raises a great teaching point and that is that people skills are a SKILL not a gift.

Webster defines a gift as “natural abilities or qualities or something acquired without compensation”. For most of us, the ability to deal with people is not natural in any way, as a matter of fact; most of us find it very unnatural. To me it is an important distinction because if I accepted the ‘fact” that it was a gift I would be forced to accept the breadth and depth of my existing abilities. On the other hand, if I accept the fact that it is a skill that can be developed and perfected like other skills such as painting, running, sports, etc. and recognize there is room for improvement, I can decide to improve.

So then, what are people skills and how are they developed? In my view, people skills are the abilities to build relationships with a wide variety of people, in other words being relatable. So how is this done? One of the first steps is to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. Your comfort zone by definition is comfortable but there is no growth while there. We all have people that we feel more “comfortable” with than others. The biggest reason for this is there is a common ground to build on. Perhaps it is your church and beliefs. Perhaps it your ethnicity or gender. Perhaps it is educational or socioeconomic background. When you meet someone new the goal is to build some level of common interest. The best way I know how to do this is by asking questions and finding out about them and then sharing something about you. Have you ever met someone that was easy to talk with? Have you ever met someone that you immediately felt comfortable with? Why? My guess is that you and they found a common ground. My suggestion is for you to mirror that activity because it works.

I have developed 3 people principles that I believe are pretty universal regardless of age, geography, education, etc.

People Principle #1 - People would rather buy than be sold. Think about your own experiences. Think about a really good sales experience you had as a consumer. It doesn’t matter if you were buying a house, car, or ice cream cone. What made it good? Now, think about a negative one. Again, it does not matter if you were buying a house, car, or ice cream cone. What made it bad? For most of us, in the good experience we felt like we were in control; in the negative we felt like weren’t.

So my question to you as it relates to YTB is, are you selling or helping people to buy? If it is the former my guess is you are not optimizing the opportunity. If you help people buy you are really helping solve THEIR problems (not yours). My personal experience validates this. There were a number of people that I tried to close by letting them know if they bought their site right now I would qualify for my weekly bonus. Would you like to guess how many I closed? Let me help you-exactly zero. Why because I was selling not helping people buy. Why because I was focused on me and not them. Again, let me ask you the question- are you helping people buy or selling?

People Principle #2 - People are more interested in their own agenda than yours. In a previous post we looked at Gran Torino and how there are people skills lessons everywhere. In that movie, Clint Eastwood’s son comes over and lets him know that he believes he (Eastwood) would be better off moving in to a senior citizen center. You could visibly see Eastwood react negatively. Who wouldn’t when being told what to do? Not having very good people skills, the son did not pick up on that and progresses to tell Eastwood why- because he won’t have to cut his own grass (which he loves doing) or shovel the drive in the winter. Eastwood gets angrier. Again, the son pushes forward and lets him know that he has actually done research and come up with some choices. Eastwood simply throws him out of the house.

Let’s replay that scene with a little people knowledge. First, if Eastwood’s son would have started with a question like “have you thought about moving in to a senior center?” he likely would have gotten a different result because Eastwood would have responded by saying that he did not want to have anything to do with them. End of conversation. If Eastwood had actually considered it, he would have said yes it may be a good idea and a conversation would have ensued with a resolution that was good for both he and his son. As it was, there was a further disintegration in their relationship because the son started with his own agenda and not his father’s.

Let me ask you to consider whose agenda are you starting with yours or theirs? If you start the conversation with “I am excited…..” I would suggest you are starting with yours not theirs. Start with a question about how they are doing and if they have figured what is going on with the economy (you can guess what people say to that at this time).

People principle #3- People don’t know themselves as well as they think they do. At seminars that I have done around the country I have asked “how many of you have said at one point that you would never get involved with a network marketing company?” Without exception, it is always at least 50%. That means 1 out of 2 have said “no” and now they are a “yes”. How does that happen? For some, it is the economy that is driving them to do something that they said they would never do or never do again. For others, it is the success of a friend in our business. For still others, it is the YTB business model and the fact that we don’t have inventory or quotas. Polite persistence is the answer. Notice the first word-polite. It is not a constant hourly or daily barrage. It isn’t calling weekly and saying “are you ready yet”. It is our job to find out where they are, answer their questions, and find a way to add value to their lives. Keep in mind that not everyone will join our team and it doesn’t matter how often you ask.

Remember…we are ultimately in the people business. Our job is to find people that are open to our system. Our job is to improve ourselves and learn to reach out to more and more people. Our job is to connect to more people. Our job is to find ways to add value to others’ lives. Our job is to help our team reach their goals.

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