http://dharmafrog.com/ en rss@dharmafrog.com Copyright 2009 2009-11-04T16:40:12+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/whiskerino_2009/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/whiskerino_2009/#When:15:40:12Z There comes a time in a man’s life when he has to make a choice. Shave his face, or let a furry animal creature set up house on it. Now some men can grow whiskers and some cannot, and for those that can there is a community of dudes that document their journey from clean shaven to homeless mountain men. Whiskerino. It strikes fear in women and children all over. All those scruffy pokey faced men walking around bonding over how fast/gross their facial hair is coming in, from November 1st to February 28th. I am a supportive wife, but every other year during this time my sensitive skin dies a little bit each day with each kiss and nuzzle of my crazy husband’s face. My man has always been an artistic man, always looking to push the boundaries for his art (don’t even ask me what a yeard is), apparently even the law. So as November 1st approached, I knew that as his personal photographer, the pressure would be on. I have survived 4 days of Whiskerino 2009 and there are too many more days to count. Having already broke down and thrown profanity at my camera, I probably won’t be able to continue my sunny disposition with this project or hold back my sailor’s mouth. Photography, Woman 2009-11-04T15:40:12+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/trick-or-treat/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/trick-or-treat/#When:14:41:49Z Mr. Banana informed me that this was the last year that he will be trick-or-treating. He will still dress up and walk with us to take Bryce and Cameron. It’s a cool thing, but also sad because that means my baby is not a kid anymore. ♥ Bumble Bee is already thinking up his next costume. Thomas The Train said “I love trick-or-treating!” at least four times in the 45 minutes of going door to door. Family, Motherhood, Photography 2009-11-02T14:41:49+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/my_short_list_of_the_best/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/my_short_list_of_the_best/#When:02:20:39Z There are not very many things I consider the best. My husband? The best. My kids? The best. Tv show past? Firefly. Tv show present? Castle. BAND? The Avett Brothers!! I can’t help it and neither can they. James took me out to my very first concert, The Avett Brothers at the Ryman Auditorium tonight. SO FUN! Now I am not a public dancer, public “whoo hoo”-er or a public rhythmic clapper, (and if asked publicly I will deny everything) but I danced and screamed and clapped and sang along!! It was the most fun I’ve had… ever!  I just can’t wait for my boys to get older so we can all go and enjoy great times like the one I had tonight. I didn’t have to worry about what I was wearing, being halloween night I could’ve been Max from where the wild things are or Jesus or Steve Prefontaine. (which by the way were the best strangers’ costumes I’ve witnessed this year) It was my favorite band with my favorite guy and my boys were at home safe and sound and dreaming of devouring all the decorated chocolate cupcakes on the kitchen counter. I could just be me. Which I need many many more of. Times to just be a regular 30 year old. I don’t know what it is that makes these four men so awesome in my eyes. They don’t just play music, they feel the music, it’s a part of them so as listeners it becomes of part of us too. Only the “greats” have that super power. It doesn’t hurt that they are easy on the eyes either. (Yeah I said it! Don’t worry James has lusty pants for Katy Perry, so he’s cool like that) I have no photographic evidence of this blessed event because unlike the lady in the row in front of us, I followed the rules, I didn’t take my camera, but damn I wish I would have! I must now take memory enhancing vitamins for the rest of my life, in addition to being a really good wife so my James will take me to see them again. Thank you Nashville! Whoo Hoo! (sorry) Woman 2009-11-01T02:20:39+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/happy_halloween_2009/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/happy_halloween_2009/#When:17:27:57Z Here’s “Sick Jake” “3 Eyed Steve” and “Baby Punkin” Have a spooky Halloween! Family, Photography 2009-10-31T17:27:57+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/somewhere_in_the_middle/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/somewhere_in_the_middle/#When:17:36:25Z I send a picture with my christmas cards. I am compelled to capture the greatness that is my extremely handsome guys and share with all my friends and family how amazingly blessed I am to have these four beautiful souls in my life. There I said it. With every year it becomes harder to get everyone looking in the same direction, clean and smiling. I can get crazy about it. Ok, so I do get crazy about it, every year. Several times a year honestly, with birthdays and other occasions too. Photography is my thing. It’s the thing I “have” to do. I have to do it or I won’t be me anymore. I have to look back when I’m 90 and be able to see all the moments, even if I can’t remember them. I have to have millions of shots of my babies on their journey to adulthood and then beyond with their families. I have to have photos of my crazy wild husband and I, so our boys can pass them down to their great grandkids along with stories of how much we loved each other. I miss out on some of the fun. Being the photographer and stressing about that really good shot of Cameron kissing his elephant or all of them decorating their pumpkins, that I am not in the moment to just enjoy it. I am afraid of loosing it all at any moment. That any day it could all just disappear, my babies, my best friend, all gone and I am by myself. It happens all the time to people, some freak accident or disaster that can erase everything from someone’s life. It scares me… But I have to ask myself, would I rather have the real thing and be happy and enjoy all those incredible moments or would I rather get stressed, upset, have my boys upset because I’m upset just for a photo? I have to find that happy medium. Where it is I don’t know yet. I’m going to find it though. I do know that my guys would rather have me present in that moment than a picture. I know that. I put so much pressure on trying to be a good Mom, I start to loose sight of what it’s really about. Having the best possible life with my family. Family, Motherhood, Woman 2009-10-28T17:36:25+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/13_years_with_the_best/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/13_years_with_the_best/#When:16:31:58Z ♥ Mr. & Mrs. Mathias ♥ Photography, Woman 2009-10-18T16:31:58+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/a_good_start/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/a_good_start/#When:10:00:54Z Start them early and then they just volunteer to do it. I’m amazed and grateful. Motherhood, Photography 2009-10-14T10:00:54+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/a_decade_of_silence/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/a_decade_of_silence/#When:09:00:46Z When I started this blog I wanted it to be a place where I could write things about my hysterical and trying adventures with my guys. It has also been a therapeutic way to express the thoughts in my head. I have made some choices in my life that I am not very proud of,  I have tried to follow my heart, and do what I “felt” was the right thing. I’ve tried to do the best that I could, knowing that I would have to answer for my decisions. I am a good person, I really am, and that has taken me a really long time to be able to say that about myself. It has been a decade since I have seen or talked to any member of my extended family. I had a very toxic relationship with the two people who were always suppose to have my back. I had to tell them that I didn’t want them to contact me anymore. I had to tell them what I should have told them years ago when I left on my 18th birthday. I had to separate myself from them in order to truly find out who I really was. I was ashamed of that decision for a very long time. I would not be the same person that I am today if I had not done that. It has given me freedom to be whoever I want to be without judgment or fear. James became my family. And then Liam, Bryce and Cameron came and helped me see who I was and who I wanted to be. I’ve never been that close with my relatives, they live on one coast and I grew up on the other. I was scared of what my aunts and uncles and cousins would think of me, I chose to walk away from them as well. I don’t expect them to understand such a choice. I don’t even expect them to forgive me. I would have loved to be one of those families who visit each other several times a year, who celebrates birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and babies together, no matter what state they live in. I’ve seen it, it does happen and it’s amazing! A little over a year ago I decided that if I could forgive myself than my relatives could forgive me too. I started writing and now with the power of the all-mighty facebook, I have cousins and aunts and uncles again! It feels good to be some what normal. It feels terrifying too. I don’t want to loose it again. James and I are spending part of our anniversary weekend in North Carolina with our boys, a touch of vacation and my re-instated cousin/niece status. My beautiful cousin is getting married this weekend and by the grace of the wedding gods she invited me and my family. Is it embarrassing to admit to tearing up at getting a wedding invitation? It is? Ok then, well good, cause I didn’t do that. That would be silly. Now I’m scared. Clothes, hair, little boy manners, conversation. sigh. Family, Woman 2009-10-13T09:00:46+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/just_when/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/just_when/#When:15:47:46Z I had given up on the killer hot boots search. I really had. One night I was on amazon.com “window shopping”, wasting time until my James got home from work. Amazon gives you suggestions on the homepage based on your previous searches and there were a set of boots that looked promising. But I had already said no more boot hunts, “I give up”. I clicked on them anyways and there before my eyes in the drop down size menu was my size! So I highlighted “sasquach” and they were available! Whoo hoo! Then I remembered that James cringes at the mere mention of the word boots, so I had to go slow and explain the whole situation that had just happened. Thankfully over instant messenger you can’t see the other person roll their eyes and sigh. All I saw, was him saying “do it!”  Sweet! My poor husband puts up with a lot but he is still as supportive as he can be. Gotta love him for it too. ♥ So, I have been wearing them with jeans everywhere I go, and surprisingly they are mighty comfortable, thank you jesus! Now I just need to try them with a dress and see if I can still pass for a lady. Photography, Woman 2009-10-12T15:47:46+00:00 http://dharmafrog.com/article/park_it/ http://dharmafrog.com/article/park_it/#When:16:57:55Z When all else fails, take it to the park. Thankful for some mild weather, I let my Mathias beasts loose to run and be free. Chasing after one another seemed to be a favorite. Sliding down plastic spirals was another. Cameron looks so big already in his hand-me-down tie dye. (made by Auntie Sarah when his oldest brother was 2) I wish so much for them to be healthy and fulfilled as children and adults, I don’t want to miss a single part of their precious lives. Motherhood, Photography 2009-10-07T16:57:55+00:00