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Some of the most important topics to stay away from on a first date or second.

Past relationships

Have you ever heard someone talk about an ex? Their likes and dislikes. “Oh… my ex boyfriend liked strawberries too or he likes his steak rare as well…yeah…we loved laying around on Saturday nights watching scary movies and eating popcorn.”
Also, don’t talk about how horrible your ex was and all the fights that you got into. Or how his mom and you still go on shopping trips together.

Some people go through a list of the people they’ve dated in the past.  Or even do a little name-dropping i.e. “Yes the last person I dated was a lawyer, doctor, developer.”

I lived in Los Angeles for 10 years and the name-dropping you hear there is really entertaining!! They try and make it a little less inconspicuous by only using the celebrity’s first name.

“You know when I dated Leonardo or I met Mark or Jack and he asked for my number”
This is one of the most insecure things a person can do and it makes your date intimidated and probably think that you’re an ass.

Sexual Stories

Don’t start talking about how great sex was with your ex ever, or all your favorite sexual positions on a first date. “My ex and I would have sex every morning and every night before bed. He could go for hours.”  Save talking about sex positions until you’re in a relationship. If you talk about sex too soon it’s sure fire way to turn you date into a booty call.

Having Babies

Don’t ask your date how many kids he wants to have or go into how big a family you’ve always dreamed of “You know I’ve always dreamed of having a big family.  I’d love to have two girls and two boys. Of course we can always have more if you like”

Political / Religious Views

Don’t ask your date his political views on a first date.  This should be saved for waaaaayyy down the line.  Political views are even a sore subject with close friends and family.  I’ve seen wine glasses thrown and couples storming out of restaurants.  If you’ve ever been to the Four Seasons Restaurant in NYC I saw someone get thrown into the center pool over a political argument.  This goes for religion as well.  Though religion doesn’t tend to get as heated as politics, people are still very opinionated.
Not good subjects for first dates.

(Limit your drinking to no more than 2 drinks.  If you become too tipsy you may fall into the trap of talking about the 4 worst topics!)

To do this they give you two marketing tools, your written profile and your photos.
The only problem is potential dates aren’t interested in wading though the mountain of written profiles, they go right to the photos. In fact, the online dating companies don’t even give you an option to start reviewing peoples’ written profiles. All they present you with is a thumbnail of the person’s main profile photo. If you don’t have a photo …you don’t even get a chance to have someone look at your profile because you are on the 30th page of the dating sites search results!

The dating industry constantly ignores helping their subscribers with the fundamentals in favor of the next big technology like, pings or smiles or even mobile dating. They keep trying to find ways to put people together in the same virtual “room” but they forget to help you “dress” for the occasion.

Imagine you have a friend who is constantly bringing eligible dates to your house at all hours of the day and night regardless of how your dressed or made up. Imagine you just got out of bed and look like shit and here they come through your front door.  They probably aren’t going to be very impressed and will turn around and walk out the door.  That’s what its like when you don’t take care of the online dating fundamentals.

That is what I think every time I look through the online dating sites and see countless lousy photos of people looking for a relationship ..don’t they get it? Isn’t it obvious?

The dating companies think that photos are the number one most important thing to helping you start a conversation with the other person …that’s why when you do a search all that comes up are page after page of photos of people that meet your search criteria. If it is so important to them that they would build the entire web site to show your photo first then don’t you think that you should probably put at least a good photo in your profile?

Out of focus, to many people in the picture, too small, too distorted, pixilated, photo with a baby, photo of only a dog, too funky, photo looks like a mug shot….these are the common photos people upload to try and make an impression on someone enough to get the other person to start a conversation. Then they are surprised that online dating doesn’t work for them!

Everyone has heard the stories or even knows somebody that got the relationship they were looking for with online dating. However, they forget to ask what those people did differently to make it work for them.

Most people only stay with an online dating site for 3 months before they leave it for good. Yet within a few weeks they usually pick another online dating site, usually a free site, and start all over, thinking that it was the sites fault that they did not get a lot of dates. They load the same profile photos, if they have them, and copy the same profile to the new site and sit back and wait. Then they are surprised that they get the same results.

Here’s some advice, Try something different. Take some time with your profile and make the best “first impression” that you can. Write some thing “real” and take a little time to find a photo of you, just you, that you like.

Your dating sites is not going to help you with the dating fundamentals, no matter if you pay them every month or it’s a free site. With a little care and attention to the dating fundamentals you will enjoy the most dating success possible.

Make sure you Include these things in your handbag.

1. Tooth picks or dental floss
2. Mints or breath strips
3. Make-up touch up kit
4. A small nail file
5. A small comb

1. Tooth picks or dental floss
It is the absolute worst thing to get food between your teeth on a date and have no way of getting it out

2. Mints or breath strips
It’s so embarrassing to have bad breath and you know good and well after you eat you need something to freshen your breath.

Now, if the date isn’t going so well and you know you don’t want to see him again.
You may want to eat large amounts of garlic and onions.  This will definitely hinder your date from going in for a kiss.

However, stay far away from garlic and onions if you like the guy.  Breath freshener will never help after eating these foods.

Oh, and ladies, Never chew gum on a date! I have heard many men complain about this. When you chew gum it looks like a cow chewing its cud.  Soooo TACKY! Save it for being around your girlfriends. Unless of course you forgot any form of breath freshener. Bad breath is worse than looking like a cow.
Bottom line, don’t forget breath freshener!

3. Make-up touch up kit
A girl doesn’t want to be caught looking shiny or have lip liner on when your lipstick has worn off.

Powder, blush, and lipstick:
Pack a small powder compact or blotting papers and a small blush and lipstick for touch ups.
If you’re wearing red lipstick watch your teeth. There’s nothing worse than getting lipstick on your teeth.  One way that I prevent this from happening is to occasionally wipe my teeth with my finger when your date isn’t looking. This can be done inconspicuously.
Eye Shadow:
There’s usually no reason to worry about bringing eye shadows.  You can’t really go wrong with powder and blush but when it comes to eye shadow, if you get a little tipsy you don’t want to come out looking like Cleopatra!

4. A small nail file
For me the most annoying thing is when I chip a fingernail

5. A small comb
You don’t want your hair looking messy. This is good for smoothing out hair or teasing for added fullness to flat hair.

Now you can go on your date with confidence knowing you look your BEST!

But, life is a roller coaster ride, isn’t it? Depending upon what’s going on in your life, you can wake up feeling one way and go to bed feeling another way. So, it’s hard to always maintain the confidence you need in order to be successful.

One of the reasons people like online dating so much is because they don’t really need to go out on a limb in order to gather up dates and chat with other singles. It’s like an anonymous bar, instead of having to deal with all of the potential weirdos buying you drinks and instead of having to walk over to that sexy thing sitting alone at a table and risk rejection, you can post up a picture of yourself, write an intriguing profile and surf through thousands of singles, picking and choosing as you so desire.

But, online dating also has its pitfalls. When you get so used to emulating confidence online, whether real or fabricated, it can be incredibly nerve-racking when having to finally seal the proverbial deal, and by that I mean going on an actual date with someone you met through an online dating service.

Many people have these strange online personas and it makes them feel obligated to perpetuate these online personas in the offline world. This can lead to nervousness and, because of that, a lack of confidence.

So, how do you remain confident when it comes to the date you landed from your online dating service without feeling obligated to perpetuate a false online persona? After all, you’re no longer able to hide behind your computer screen – this is the real deal. Well, the first step is to not have a false online persona. That’s right. Quit it! Be real, be honest and be prepared.

So many people feel ashamed of themselves; they feel as though they should be a different person online. But, the best thing you can do is to embrace yourself – every part of yourself. Even when you don’t feel necessarily confident, be confident in the fact that you are just that way sometimes. That is the essence of confidence in every part of life.

When it comes to your online dating profile, you need to portray your internal essence to other people. That way you will attract the right kind of dates and not feel obligated to be someone else you’re not.

The first step in portraying your true personality in your online dating profile is to get a professional profile picture. Dress in a way that accentuates your personality, use colors that make you feel good and confident and show who you really are to the online dating world and know that when it comes down to that first date, the person you’ll be meeting will be able to except nothing less and nothing more than the person they saw on your online dating profile – you in all your naturally confident glory. Now THAT is a great first impression.

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