Although most online dating sites have a system of automatically sending people to you whether they fit what you include on your profile or not it is still important to consider who you want to attract for anyone who will be visiting your profile.

Defining what you want in a relationship and who you want to spend your time with will also save wasted time on dates with unsuitable men because you were not specific enough in the first place. If you are tall and you know there are shorter men that you don’t want to date don’t just select the height in your profile but make sure you include that information when you write your introduction or about me profile.

So sit and give yourself time to answer the question – who do I want to attract?

Make sure as you write out your about me section of your profile that you include all of that information so he can read it. Are you looking for a man who loves animals? Or maybe you want your man to love time indoors curling up on the sofa watching a movie. Some women love the adventurous type of outdoor man who will go hiking up mountains – so in your profile include information about the hiking you have done, the mountains you have climbed and the places you would love to climb with a new partner.

If you know you are looking for the long term then add that in your profile because it will ensure the men not looking for long term will not get in touch. If you don’t add it in the hope that he will meet you and change his mind then you are taking a risk that will probably not end happily.

Getting clear about who you want to attract also has the advantage of spiritually bringing you what you desire for those who believe in the law of attraction to find a mate. When you ask for what you want and define it closely you are more likely to get exactly that but when you are unclear you will continue to meet men who are not who you are looking for and you will be constantly unhappy.

While online dating sites do their best to match us with our ideal match it is only a computer generated match based on the ticks that you selected when you sign up.  What will really get you finding your ideal man online is your ability to clearly communicate that type of man you are looking for in a clear statement on your profile.

What’s the funniest thing you have ever done?

Find out how playful he is and whether he can handle a laugh or if he takes things too far because what he finds funny you might want to run half a mile from in absolute dread.  It’s always great to be with a partner who loves to laugh and who knows how to have fun but you don’t want someone who doesn’t know when to stop and takes a joke too far.

What do you enjoy doing most weeknights?

With this question you can find out whether he spends all his evenings inside in front of the television or if he is out and about some nights of the week. You can also get a good idea of whether he is a man of routine and does the same things on the same nights every week. Not that there is anything wrong with routine if you love it.

When was the last time that you X?

Now keep it clean! The X stands for whatever he told you he enjoys doing. Be attentive and listen out. If you meet him online then you will have some idea of the things he likes to do. If he said he enjoys fishing, or live music, travelling etc then ask him. When was the last time you went fishing? Or When was the last time you attended a live music event?

That also helps you go on to talk about what he did while at any event, people he saw or met, any funny stories that happened. Asking someone when their last time was can really help to bring out a great conversation, and of course they are likely to ask you the same thing. It will also expose any lies in case they allowed their imagination to run wild on their online dating profile and they haven’t actually done it.

What’s the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

Is he spontaneous? How quickly can he think of something? If he can rattle off 3 or 4 events when he just got up and went then at least you know you are dealing with a guy that likes to engage in spontaneity. Now depending on your preference that will make you extremely happy or fill you with dread!

Where in the world have you seen and/or where in the world do you still want to see?

Is he a traveller? Has he gone to lands far and wide or does he like to stay in his own country only? Get a sense of whether he travels, how he travels and the kind of places he likes to travel too. You might also want to ask him about what he does when on holiday. Does he prefer to crash out on the beach? Visit local places of tradition? Go sightseeing? Travel is always a great conversation piece. If you haven’t done much travel then talk about the places you would love to see instead.

The first date can be nerve racking, especially if you are concerned about running out of things to say so I hope these five questions give you plenty of scope to keep the conversation flowing. Always remember to be attentive, listen out for what he says and ask him about it later. Don’t be more concerned with getting out what is in your head without even listening to him.

Do you stay with him and hope things pick up or kick him to the kerb?

(1) Time

If you are a busy professional or you just don’t have the time to waste on dating man after man after man without success then an online dating site can help you!  You can spend time actually looking through profiles, connecting with people via email or messenger service, really spending time getting to know each other without having to rush.

It also gives you the opportunity to pick and choose, sort out who you want to get to know better and leave behind anyone you don’t. So it is a time saving in terms of wasting loads of time dating someone who turns out to be a complete waste of your time.  One of the best things I ever did was move my dating offline and changed to online. It is far more relaxed and by the time I met anyone we both felt like we already knew each other a little – which helped to relax the whole evening (or lunch.)  Online dating is a real time saver!

(2) Money

There are loads of free dating sites out there which save you having to keep paying out travel fare, your half of the meal, a new dress, shoes and anything else you might buy as you go on your first date!

For the cost of one evening out you can probably get yourself a whole month (maybe even up to three!) with an online dating site of your choice and save yourself the cost of going out.  Of course the time will come when you do want to meet up with someone and that’s great – I hope it happens for you soon – but at least you want waste your time on serial dating or speed dating or any other kind of dating the sucks away at your bank balance and doesn’t give you any kind of return!

(3) It works.

Before if you met someone online you kept it a secret. It seemed such a pathetic way to have to find a man you wouldn’t dare tell your friends!

Now there are stories every where from married couples of met online because online dating really does work.  It works because as I mentioned earlier you have the time to look through and spend time only with the people who look the most compatible, so no more wasting time.

Looking for love online really is a great way to find your future partner and I have certainly been blessed with having met some great men online – and of course, the right man!

If you are looking to find someone based on your values then eHarmony may prove successful for you.  Another one that guarantees results is match.com

If you are serious about finding a partner you will need to consider paying so you can connect with other serious men looking to find a partner.

I always paid for my time in online dating sites and I was really fussy about the type that I joined. Other questions you might want to consider are

1. Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
2. Features. Which features are the most important to you?
3. Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
4. Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
5. Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
6. Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
7. Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?

These are just a few of the things you can consider when choosing an online dating site – what works will be different for everyone so only you can really decide which one works best for you.

“He that can have Patience, can have what he will”
Benjamin Franklin

I hate game playing and I would never encourage any women to play games with a potential partner but there is a lot to be said about being patient and waiting for things to come to you instead of constantly chasing them all the time.

Desperation will put a man off (wouldn’t it put you off if a desperate man was pursuing you?) and the last thing you want is to look desperate. Yes you are eager to get to know him but don’t let that eagerness take over.

I have a friend who meets someone she likes and within 48 hours she has rung him (3 or 4 times), txt him (at least 10 times) and constantly talks about him (mainly to me!)  It is just too much  – needless to say she is still single!

Don’t play “hard to get” but at the same time don’t change your whole life to fit in with what he wants either. If you really can’t make a date he has suggested then suggestion an alternative or change the time. Make an effort to have the whole dating game fit around what you have to do not only when he wants you to do – otherwise you may set that up and it will become a part of your relationship.

Let him chase you – there is still a lot to be said for the old school way of doing things! But again don’t mess with him and have him jump through hoops to get to you.

There is a lot of enjoyment in the habitual human habit of chasing and capturing, wooing (do we still use the wooing word? ) and waiting to get to know each other. Enjoy the early days and don’t be in a rush to end them by making everything happen at the beginning of your relationship or you will find you run out of steam early on!

Poetry is an excellent medium for self-expression. Unless you are writing poetry with the hope of having it published one day, you can write poetry however you like.  It doesn’t have to be good poetry.  You don’t have to understand any of the poetic terms or conventions like rhyme, meter or free verse.  You don’t even have to have ever read a really good poem in your life to write a heartbroken poem that can help you feel better and maybe help you heal from the pain of a break-up.

An critical early step in getting over a break up or any miserable situation is simply facing the pain. Even though it might feel better to avoid working with the fact of the situation, you can not truly move past it without facing it and feeling the discomfort, at least for a bit. So facing up to whatever agonizing situation is occurring is obligatory. A sad poem will help you deal with those unpleasant feelings when you’re split with somebody you like.

Don’t stress about whether it good or not. Nobody else ever has to read your sad poem. It’s for you and you alone. Just write down your emotions, as tough as that might be. You can write in plain English. Don’t try and imitate the poets of the 17th and 18th century. Write like you talk, and break the lines where it feels natural to you. In truth, you can start by writing one giant paragraph stuffed with all of your feelings and everything you would like to express, solely to get it out. Then you can go back and prepare your thoughts and feelings into a poem.

Once you are written a heartbroken poem, you might want to write more about different parts of the pain.  That’s good.  Get down everything you can, and that will help you to face the pain. Writing the poetry will probably be a very emotional time for you.  Don’t try to stop it.  Just let the pain out and you l be better able to move on.

If you decide you wish to share your sad poem, you can show family or chums. Or if you’d like to share it but not with any one you know, you can put it on the internet. There are websites designed solely for such things. You can upload your poetry for free and let other people know if you would like to get feedback or not. You may choose to not receive comments on your sad poem and just enjoy the undeniable fact that you are shared your experience.

If you are interested in How To Get Your Ex Back, you will get more information at How To Get Back With My Ex.

Stewart L. Haney

Whether you are on a first date, communicating online/via email or active on an online dating site always remember not to share too much of yourself too early.

Keep your communication short and sweet until he asks for details (especially via email)…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks.

For instance:  If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them.  He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has.  For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him.

Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.

You need to master the art of less is more at the beginning – there will be plenty of time for long 5 hour talks about life and everything under the sun, for now you are both looking at what’s possible between you so keep some back!

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Well the first and most important tip is to be honest throughout.

Imagine meeting your ideal man and months later you have to tell him to lied about something important. It is never worth lying to get attention so be honest.  If you have to make up stuff because you believe that is what a man wants then you might want to spend some time working on your own self esteem issues. Men love geniune women. Just be yourself.

Add enough to make a man curious but leave enough so that he wants to ask questions. Put down that you love to travel and there are particular parts of (for example) Australia you would love to see but don’t put exactly where. That then opens up the possibility of a conversation about where in Australia and when you want to go.

It is a well known fact that women love to add way to much to their profile (I always did when I was on dating sites!) and it is also a well known fact that men just won’t read a lot of it and they are prone to putting next to nothing on their profile!

Give enough for curiousity but leave enough for questions.

Add things that make you unique

Do you play the piano? Have you taken part in a major marathon? What have you done that is unique to you and makes for great conversation? You might want to avoid adding every single award you have won because you don’t want to intimidate him but show off your best stuff and let him know you are no wall flower!

Let him see different photos of you

Add photos in different settings and in different formats. Don’t just use all headshots, use full length too. Show yourself dressed up and looking great but also in your walking boots and jeans! Add variety to your photos so they can see you from all angles taking part in activities you love to do.

As long as you stick to being honest, add enough to raise curiosity, include parts about your life that make you unique and provide different photos for potential men to look through you will find it easier for men to get in touch with you.