I’m very late on hearing this, but I certainly enjoyed it.  It seems EVERYONE was able to do a more heartfelt and compassionate musical tribute to Hati than the “We Are The World 25″ remake. Kirk Franklin is a great songwriter – especially for songs like this.  Enjoyed the vocal performances of everyone in this as well.

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1. Thank GOD for Kirk Franklin!
2. A Night with David Bruce at the Melting Pot
3. A Talk With A Stranger: Kezban

Check out the above link for a quick and interesting article about the Number Robin Dunbar is credited with defining. Basically, he asserts that people can only maintain about 150 meaningful relationships and beyond that the connection deteriorates.

I’d observed this same principal when I noticed how small churches that are very focused on their pastor ‘max out’ at around 200 members.  I said that in a scenario like that, there are only so many people who are able to genuinely connect to the pastor or leader. When his limit is reached, it cuts off new people to the ‘appeal’ of that community.  Those who come in after that number has been reached, never feel connected and simply drift away to another church or community.

I think it’s important that we are mindful of these kinds of numbers when we think about our own leadership and relationships.

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2. Blogging LIVE from Wonder09: Willow Creek Worship Arts Conference
3. Following My Own Advice

I was booked by the United Congress of Religious and Community Organizations to do a day trip to Springfield, Illinois and photograph the convergence of several community organizations at the state capitol pushing for human rights bills that are now in the house.  It was also neat because the cover of the policy guide they produced featured my photography.

I was also able to buy a new lens this week, the Tamron AF 28-75mm f/2.8.  I’ve only been shooting with it for a week now, but I must say I really enjoy having something other than my 50mm f/1.8 available for low-light shooting.  I’m still editing photos from the Springfield trip, but I’ll post a few shots from that trip soon.  I also got a smaller, sling-style camera bag – this should make it easier for me to carry my camera for events or just for random photowalks – now if I could only fit my netbook into the bag I’d be unstoppable! lol.

I also spent a good deal of time over the last few weeks making arrangements for an Arts Ministry Volunteer Celebration at my church. It’s the first annual event for the newly forming umbrella of the Arts Ministry.  One of the first things that attracted me to my church was the arts – I was inspired to no end from day one! I often tell people that I came home and re-branded my business after my first visit to the church!  Anyway, the Celebration was a hit! Over 100 people came, ate what seemed like an endless supply of Pizza,  and got to know interesting facts about one another through an ice breaker my mom helped create for the event. We had more planned (like a video, presentations, etc…) but as with many things with life, not everything worked out the way we planned.  I was happy that I was able to slow-down and enjoy the moment not continually running around trying to pull things together.  It just worked I’m thankful for that!

This weekend also served as the Launch of our B-1 campaign.  B-1 is the rallying cry of our Arts Ministry.  Jesus prays in John 17:11(b) says “… so that they may all BE ONE as we are one”.  It’s our prayer and endeavor to take this to heart in how we grow in our intentional efforts to include more people and empower them to serve with their arts gifts.  I almost had a misty eyed moment as I saw more than 50 people standing on stage this Sunday wearing the tee-shirts I designed to promote this campaign.  I don’t know, it’s just something that started off as a small and fun idea and now has grown into something with limitless possibilities and outcomes.  I’m just excited.

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3. Blogging LIVE from the Road “If You’re Out There”

Check out the above article for some great points about unhealthy ways we approach spirituality.  I’m currently reading The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero and it’s digging up some very key points in how we do church and relate to each other.

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2. Sharing My Story
3. Willow Creek Leadership Summit 2009 – TWEETS!

I know – it’s been a very long time since I’ve stopped by to share anything. Life has been filled with unexpected transitions and changes. Business has been up, down, and back up again. Church – oh my, that’ll be a series of posts. Overall there’s a lot to share here and I’m going to bring it soon. I’m also going to change the look of the site with a new design.

Hopefully all this will be visible in the coming month.

Thanks for stopping by! See ya soon!

–Darren

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Wanna help me celebrate? Leave a comment!

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___________

This Gateway LT2032u Black Netbook has turned out to be a great deal.  I’ve had it for less than a week now and so far I’m loving it.

If you’re getting a case for it, be aware that the 6-cell battery makes it too big for most slim cases (the battery ads about an inch to the size when closed).  I have mine in a slim case, but the battery sticks out the zipper (and thus can’t be fully closed. I just wanted something so that it would be protected in whatever bag I put it in and it serves that purpose ok for now.

Speaking of batteries  – the life on the six cell is amazing.  In power-saving mode and with the screen brightness dimmed to 10%, Windows has estimated 9 hours of battery life.  Even in normal mode you’ll get at least 6 hours of of it. It’s great to be able to leave the house without a power adapter and not worry about running out of juice! I do occasionally use a Clear WiMax broadband USB adapter and that sucks a LOT of power (the machine estimates 3 hours of battery life with it running).  I’ve tethered with my iPhone and that set up doesn’t eat the battery nearly as fast (I think I can get 4-5 hours with that set up).

One challenge on netbook screens in general is software that assumes your monitor is taller than 600 pixels – so every now and then you’ll find a fixed size window with an “ok” button that is below the edge of the screen. You might have to hit Tab and Enter until you “select” the right button to continue.  This is only an occasional issue when installing software or on setup / preferences screens (like the one on Adobe Reader 9 which comes pre-installed)

Windows Starter 7 won’t let you customize the desktop or colors, but you can legally install the free “Window Blinds” application from Stardock to let you do some customizations including colors and background images.

I’m hunting around for a good price on the 2GB ram upgrade.  I’m thinking about getting 800Mhz gaming memory – but I don’t yet know if this machine will support the higher speed. I notice that web based flash games (like Farm Ville and Cafe World on Facebook) can be quite unresponsive, so I’m hoping the added RAM will solve that.

Netflix runs just fine at full-screen.  NBC online videos are choppy at full screen but run just fine in the regular size view (which still fills up a good portion of the screen.  I haven’t tested out HD YouTube videos on it yet.

The speakers don’t get very loud, but I wouldn’t want a bigger machine just for louder speakers.  The headphone and microphone jacks are conveniently located on the side so they are out of the way.

The brightness of the LED display is REALLY BRIGHT.  I find that most of the time, I run it at a reduced brightness (70%) and don’t loose any detail in the images.

The track-pad is tiny, but very functional.  Lots of great customizing options for it as well.  The Multi-touch gestures are handy too, I’m glad they are included on the gateway machines.

The video on the webcam is nice – not stellar, but very nice – better than the cam built into my larger laptop. The built in microphone was decent as well.  This is great for Skype calls while sitting at my desktop or full-size laptop working.  I can run Skype full screen and still be productive on my other computer!

The keyboard buttons are sized nicely.  I don’t have too much trouble with typing  — the exception being the undersized backspace key.  I would have liked that to be larger and sacrificed the size of the – and = keys instead. I occasionally find myself hitting = instead of backspace. Also, the keys don’t have any traction / friction so you never quite feel like your fingers are in the right spots. Also, the “fn” Functions are in a deep red – which can be a little difficult to read on the black keys.

I’ve read elsewhere about the fan being loud – haven’t experienced that (and don’t expect to). The machine doesn’t run hot either.

The hinges open and close smoothly through the full range of motion.  The machine feels solid yet not too heavy.

Overall this computer is one of the best values out there for this kind of product and I’m happy with my purchase.

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In many ways I feel like I’ve told my “same old sad story” about the challenges I’ve faced in life and specifically in church.  Because I hear myself tell it so much, I feel like I’m going to be that old guy who is always reliving war stories and never really doing much else.  Today in part helped me realize that that’s not the case for me.  The reality is that I’m meeting new people and building brand-new relationships.  These new people don’t instantly get a complete picture of me so I have to over time share more of myself with them.  The beauty about that is that we grow closer in the process and I gain a bit more understanding each time.  Also, the purpose of sharing my story isn’t to relive it, but rather to learn more about my process and to take action in writing a new ending.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 (NIV)

Today I had a long over-due meeting with my church.  I was able to share some very personal and raw areas of my life and get a renewal of their commitment to walk with me through it all.  Because of some very negative experiences in similar situations in the past, events like these stir apprehension and fear. What’s amazing is to go into a situation that has turned out so terribly in the past and to discover that there are other healthy people out there who have the same goals and aspirations as you do.  It’s so affirming to be in a healthy church even though it’s not a perfect church.  I underlined “to each other” and “for each other” in the above scripture because the events of today underscored the two-way  relationship of accountability and healing in relationships. Each party must be able to own their part of what’s wrong, but also pray and support the other.

*Sigh* this is all vague now, but I hope to begin to retell this story with clarity soon. Thanks for listening.

–Darren

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2. I’m upset… but in a good way… I think.
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Updates coming soon. I’m writing this from the new iPhone app Wordpress 2 – so maybe I’ll write more frequently.

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I’ve only played around with it a little tonight (before I even got it home) and I couldn’t wait to load up the video and see how things were looking. You can check out two videos I made with it below.

The first video was edited in Adobe Premier Elements 7.  This next video was a chance for me to check out the video editing software that comes loaded on the camera.

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Initial Reactions

I think I’m happy with my purchase in general. The design of the camera does leave you to buy several necessary additions: An SD Memory Card (which is good because the memory is expandable and you can carry multiple cards for added capacity),  a Tripod (the bottom of the Zi8 is rounded unlike the Flip Cam which has a flat bottom that will allow the camera to stand on a flat surface), and a USB extension or hub (the built in USB plug is flexible, but I don’t feel comfortable putting that extra weight of the camera on my USB connection).

I think I would like the lens view to be a bit wider – self-recording can easily crop the top or bottom of my head — and I’m GOOD and aiming a camera at myself.

I LOVE that I can plug in an external microphone (stereo at that!) I got better sound with a cheap external mic plugged in – simply because I was able to have the mic closer to my voice.

So far, I’ve only done low indoor lighting and available street lighting for the two videos I’ve made.  The video is grainy in low light but definitely useable for the kind of camera it is.  I’m looking forward to seeing the quality in some well-lit areas.

I love that the form-factor closely resembles a phone – making it less conspicuous for candid street videos.  There is a red light by the lens however that lets you know it’s recording.

The image stabilization is an added benefit – but won’t replace the need for a tripod.  I hear that feature also eats up the battery.

I Don’t like the video editing software that came with it – but mainly because Adobe Premier has me spoiled. (side note: Humm… I probably have misspellings in the video… DOH!)

Those are my first thoughts.  As always feel free to leave your comments below.  I’m strongly considering a redesign to this site, so maybe in the near future you’ll see more video updates from me posted here.

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So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
–Nichole Nordeman

Brave (Acoustic Special Edition version) – Nichole Nordeman

October 28, 2009 will mark 11 years since my born-again Christian experience began and in some ways I feel like I’m still where I started back then.  Let’s be clear, God has done some miraculous things during this time – I have a LONG list of what God has done in and through me and life certainly wouldn’t have just ‘happened’ this way.  Where I’m challenged right now is in that I am still the same – I struggle with my own humanity and all the messy things that come with it.  I want the issues and struggles that have been brewing and stirring my whole life to be purely memories from before I “got saved”.  I want to be fully living out all the wonderful ideas in my head about life in Godliness.  But the reality is that I’m just as much a wretch in need of a savior as I was that night that I screamed out to the Lord in 1998.

I’m doing some of the hardest emotional work of my life right now – digging into all the whys of what I do.  It’s difficult because everything – what I might consider good or bad – gets cross examined and a root is found.  It’s unsettling to dig up that my drive to serve and help others is likely to lead to the same origin as my tendency to think negatively of myself.  Because this is so difficult – it’s easy to become fearful or simply want to ignore it and when things are going “good” then why dig into it and mess it all up?

Well thank God for people who will help you dig.  I met with a friend this week and ended up digging into some unsettling things about myself.  Interestingly enough, it’s nothing new – but actually facing these things without running away or being pushed away is uncharted territory for me.  I’m being reminded of God’s grace and his faithfulness through the physical presence of some close and trusted friends.  I’m also painfully aware that while I socialize with a lot of people, I stink at reaching out for help or support.

So, I’m doing things differently… I’m in a very vulnerable place, but I know God is present.  I’m choosing to be brave, to not walk away even if I am guilty of turning back.   I want to see God’s Kingdom in me and me in it.  I hear so many clamoring for their right to go with the status quo… I want to be all that God wants for me.  Lord HELP!

I’ve got another action-packed weekend ahead, so I just wanted to get that out there.  Thanks for reading and sharing in my life.  As always feel free to comment below.

–Darren

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A few days ago I got a phone call from a friend insisting that I dropped whatever I was doing to jump on YouTube to see this interview.  As a little background to this story, I’ve been a fan of Tonex (pronounced Toe-nay) for about 10 years now.  Tonex’s music – both vocally and instrumentally is unique and raw in many ways.  He is a Christian, but his creations often ruffled the feathers of ‘traditional’ believers.  His music has a strong ‘cross-over’ appeal and often would be found in stores outside of the Christian music section.  Tonex often writes songs in first-hand perspective of a person struggling with addiction, sexuality, mourning, or other topics that are part of life, but not often part of ‘church talk’.  I was draw to this music because I felt “finally, another believer who is using this struggles of his past to bring glory to God and expose the darkness of these situations”.

Tonex has been a magnet for controversy not just because of his writing, but also his physical appearance.  He’s been known to wear hair and clothes in range from a suit and tie, to hip-hop street culture, to goth (including long purple bangs and black painted nails).  The latter often has called his sexuality into question.  In addition to all this, in recent years he ‘retired’ from the music industry citing the unfairness of how he was financially struggling yet his music was selling well.  He also was hit with the difficult transitions of being divorced, his Father and Pastor suddenly dieing, and having to assume his father’s position as Pastor of their church.

Tonex has been out of the spotlight for some months, other than releasing the occasional ‘underground’ music release online.  This interview was the first major news about Tonex in a while.  If there’s one thing Tonex has always done well it’s address topics that too often go unmentioned in the church.  While the theological views expressed in this interview may not be agreeable to everyone – I think it’s important that we all really hear what his thoughts and perspectives are.  Check out the interview (3 parts) below.

Lexi and Tonex Interview: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Please be advised that the interview gets into topics of sexual abuse and mature discussion of sexuality.

What is so refreshing to me about this interview is that it potentially breaks the silence in what I refer to as the black church around the topic of homosexuality.  It would seem that in many African-American churches there is a stereotypical presence of gays in the choir, or band, or preaching – but it’s a secret second life that goes unexamined as long as you don’t “bring that in the church”. Or there is the homophobic response of churches where from the pulpit homosexuals are stereotyped to be ‘butch women’ or ‘effeminate men’ and openly called fagots and damned to hell in the Sunday service (yeah… how’s THAT for outreach?!).

Even when I mentioned the news that Tonex speaks out publicly about his Bisexuality, some of my friends were not impressed saying “well we all knew that – you could tell” – basically saying that they only needed to think he was gay – it never needed to be confirmed or denied.  That seems to be the case as there are several prominent gospel recording artists who are rumored to be gay – and if they came out, their career would be ended, but as long as no body ‘claims it’ they will be celebrated in black churches all over America.

My concern is that the black church is burying its head in the sand. Like so many other abuses that are happening in our church, we turn a deaf ear practical implications of our human experience and give all our attention to the topics of heaven, prosperity, and personal spiritual gifts or ”ministry callings”.  As a result – when people with difficult situations DO turn to the church, they are met with ill-prepared people who haven’t gone any deeper than “homosexuality is sin” and can’t offer much more council or direction than that.  Too many guys who struggle with their sexuality have told me that when they went to their pastor about their struggle that they were only given advice to “find a wife” and “join the men’s ministry”.

I hope that this interview sparks deeper conversations within churches around the topic of homosexuality. Churches have to be more involved in this issue than simply rallying against gay-marriage legislation or preaching it as a sign of the end-times.  I really want to dig into the cultural norms that I think differentiate the black church from how this dynamic works in other cultures.

As always the comments section is open for discussion and questions.  I don’t claim to have answers – or to even have done a good job of proof reading this post! (lol).  But I think the more we wrap our minds around this and seek God – the more we’ll be able to have a meaningful and positive impact in our churches, communities, and families.

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It took less than 10 minutes to create this and it has a few more features that I only tried out a little.  It’s another neat way to share photos – especially as a time line or in a chronological order.

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jonireyes252 is not in your Messenger List
Use caution in corresponding with people you don’t know and never share confidential or private information with them.
Report as Spam?

jonireyes252: well I just saw your name on the yaahoo directory and your profile seemed interesting lol
Darren: really? what’s one plus one?
jonireyes252: what are you up to?
Darren: seeing if you’re a bot or a human
jonireyes252: whats a bot?
Darren: a computer that sends out automated messages that ‘look’ like conversations but then invite you to some spam site
Darren: lol
jonireyes252: nah, I am a vegetarian…  no spam for me! haha
Darren: ha! that’s human
Darren:
Darren: so who the heck are ya?
jonireyes252: nice, nothin I work from home just starting doing these cam shows  It’s pretty fun actually lol
jonireyes252: I am a little busy right now cant really talk here, but if you want I would LOVE if you came to watch my show, give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ???
jonireyes252: This way you can see what I look like and we can chat while I work, I promise you wont be dissapointed..I must warn you though, I am not wearing much..
Darren:
Darren: this is too funny
jonireyes252: well I think i have my free friend’s pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it??
jonireyes252: yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don’t tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i’ll let you pick! LOL
Darren: hilarious
jonireyes252: k lol .. You joining me ?
Darren: right after I stop laughing at how terrible this cam invte is.
jonireyes252: Ok, go to http://tinyurl.com/… (URL removed for your safety) scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see “friends of Myra”, click that and when you get the password page, put in the password: ” kisses ” okay?
Darren: pancakes monkey fly round four six
jonireyes252: yup, fill out your info, make sure you put your correct b-day k?
Darren: quack sick puff
jonireyes252: k, if you entered as my friend, it should say 0.00, if so you are good for my free friend’s pass dont worry about the autorenew the pass cancels all charges
Darren: and it cancels the national debt while making health-care free for all? AND pays my college loans?
jonireyes252: CC is just to verify your age hun,its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u my free friend’s pass
Darren: and you gave me more reason to fly to the moon on a strawberry with cream cheese.
jonireyes252: ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.
Darren: and let the pron begin? I wonder how far this thing will go?
jonireyes252: k, you in yet babe?? Don’t keep me waiting!
Darren: oh well.  I’m in! ok actually I’m faking… but you’re fake too and this is all a loop in the matrix.  In fact…  what happens if I take the green pill?
jonireyes252: the only thing fake here is your toupet!
Darren: apparently you don’t know me very well.  Would you like a drink or a malware scan?
jonireyes252: k
Darren: if I say faking again will you use the same reply?
jonireyes252: k when u login click LIVEWEBCAMS and I’m the girl on the top row farthest to the left.  There’s a chat there so I’ll see u there babe … maybe u tell me what to do
Darren: I’d like you to ask the blue fairy to turn you into a real boy – and give you a cricket who is your voice of wisdom.
jonireyes252 is typing a message.
jonireyes252: k
Darren: That was Easy.
Darren: do you have anything else witty to share?
Darren: no? oh well… to the spam folder you go.

Did you notice how it was ’scripted’ to anticipate certain things that would happen in the conversation and reply to certain key words like ‘bot’ or ’spam’?  But it couldn’t handle a math question or respond to nonsense words.   When in doubt CHECK IT OUT!

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Get details and follow-up on this event here: http://thenines.leadnet.org/

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