Dammit!

Local Indian takeaway

Wed, 06 May 2009 16:13:43 +0000

This morning we moved into our new home and neither I nor my boyfriend could be bothered to cook dinner. We ordered an Indian from the local takeaway but when it arrived 30 minutes later it was cold and tasted disgusting so my boyfriend took it back. Apparently it was being cooked by a white man in a microwave. He didn't see the irony or the funny side!

I suck!

Wed, 06 May 2009 15:37:42 +0000

Thirty days ago, my mother told me that I was a waste of space and had sponged off my parents for long enough. I had to move out within a month. Today I arrived home to find the locks had been changed and she was refusing to let me in. Unfortunately, my mother is 80 years old, a little loopy and has lived with me for thirty years. I left home when I was 16!

Hey fattie

Tue, 05 May 2009 18:47:51 +0000

My best friend and I joke around, play around the house and call each other names, usually "Hey, fattie!". Today my mom had a Mary Kay meeting where she was the host, and our bird, the African Gray Parrot kept on repeating "Hey, fattie" throughout the evening...

Car wont start

Tue, 05 May 2009 18:29:29 +0000

After a busy day of shopping, I eagerly packed the back of the car, but when I tried to start it, something wasn’t right. The key fit the ignition, but would not turn the car over. Confused, I looked around and felt a jolt. MY car was in the next space over! Dammit!

Job interview

Tue, 05 May 2009 18:27:45 +0000

Today on a job interview, I was greeted by this blonde bombshell of a secretary. She opened the door and said; Mr. Hendricks, your 4 o'clock is here. About ten minutes into the interview, Hendricks asked if I was married, due to the company's insurance policy. I replied, No, but that blonde is a contender. Two seconds later, she opens the door and says, "Honey, I'm heading out. What do you want for dinner?"

Needless to say, I didn't get the job - Dammit!

Self-consciousness

Tue, 05 May 2009 13:21:37 +0000

Feeling self conscious, I quickly grabbed a towel to cover up when my boyfriend walked in on me changing. He asked me what was wrong, and I said, "I just don’t want you to see me right now." I forgot about the big mirror behind me (displaying my butt in all its glory). Dammit

Crazy followers

Tue, 05 May 2009 13:15:14 +0000

Driving away from the mall, I was being followed by what looked like crazy people, waving & honking. I was nervous, angry, and almost even gave them "the finger". I pulled over after they had followed me almost 5 miles. I was going to bust their nose off until they handed me my wallet that I had apparently left on top of my car before driving off. Dammit!

Checking FirstUnion bank balance

Tue, 05 May 2009 01:48:21 +0000

I am currently in Japan on vacation and thought I'd head into an Internet cafe today to check my emails. Before I did that though, I wanted to check my FirstUnion bank balance to make sure I was within budget. Suddenly the monitor froze and 10 police converged on me. Apparently, the computer I was using was used twice in the last week for hacking into FirstUnion accounts so they thought I was a fraudster. It took me 14 hours of interrogation to persuade them otherwise! - Dammit!

Car wont start

Mon, 04 May 2009 20:25:16 +0000

The day starts by my wife telling me her car won't start. I push car where I can look at it in the sun, get a few tools, clean a little corrosion off the battery cables, and Presto-it works! So, just to be sure, I had her turn the car off and try to restart-it works!!!Off to work she goes. At lunchtime, I get the dreaded call-it won't start. Seems that when I was cleaning the cables, I put one connection back on too loose, and it jarred loose....and no one at her work has a wrench that will work....so she is going to try to get home so I can work on it ...again.

Enjoying nature

Mon, 04 May 2009 18:33:25 +0000

This morning I went for a walk over the fields behind our block. It has been marked for redevelopment so I took my time. I sat down after a while to enjoy nature and must have fallen asleep because next thing I know a huge digger and several policemen are approaching me. The redevelopment started today and they thought I was staging a protest! - Dammit!