As every loyal reader of the Daily Record knows, the former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, backed out of a planned appearance before a pro-traditional marriage group in Whippany. Why? It's rumored there's a homemade Carrie Prejean sex tape out there somewhere. Mike Huckabee pinch hit for Prejeanbefore the New Jersey Family Policy Council on Friday. (If there's a homemade Mike Huckabee sex tape out there, let's pray it never sees the light of day.)

Prejean's been a favorite target of media outlets because she had the temerity to voice her opposition to gay marriage during a beauty pageant. That politically incorrect defense of traditional marriage somehow branded her a paragon of virtue. I don't know if she willingly embraced that role, but soon after she took her stance, photos of her in various stages of undress circulated the Internet.  

(Honestly, was anyone surprised by that? Isn't it mandated somewhere that if you want to be a beauty queen, you have to do things that will reflect poorly on you once it gets leaked to the public?)

Prejean apparently sued the Miss California people for stripping her of her crown over the photos, but backed down when pageant officials said they had the sex tape.

What's also interesting is Carrie Prejean has a book coming out. Hmm. I wonder if this sex tape business will make people curious about her book, enough so that they plunk down $$ to buy it. What a way to boost sales!

I'm sure Carrie Prejean is a nice girl. And I hope she does well selling her book. God bless America! I'll tell you this much, Prejean's not hurting financially over this. It's not like she was coming to New Jersey for free. I'm sure there was a speaking fee involved. But if there's a sex tape of her out there, and she filmed it, or agreed to be filmed, then she's got nobody to blame but herself. Conservatism speaks to people taking personal responsibility for their actions. Let's see if she actually adheres to that principle.

UPDATE:

She did. I was listening to Carrie Prejean during a softball interview with Sean Hannity last night, and she said, yes, there's this tape out there, she's embarrassed about it, but didn't try to run away from it. So good for her. I must say, however, Miss Prejean isn't quite as articulate a spokesperson for, well, anything, as I'm sure the New Jersey Family Policy Council would've wanted. (To be fair, she was being interviewed, and hadn't prepared anything -- I think.) So it's probably best they went with Mike Huckabee. This isn't Prejean's fault. I'm sure she never thought she'd be giving speeches to large audiences in defense of traditional marriage. Maybe she'll tighten up her delivery and drop phrases and works like "you know," and "exactly," from her lexicon. She's young. She'll get it.

On with the show.

So let's take a look back on the monumental event. Maybe one day North Koreans and Cubans will know the feeling those East Berliners felt. Let's hope so.

Astonishing news from the late Peter Jennings -- no relation to our Road Crew guy.

A stirring speech delivered a few years before the wall came down by a man who our friends in the media believe played no part in communism crumbling. (Shouldn't our current U.S. President be there to address the masses with one of his awe-inspiring speeches? Maybe golf was more important.)

A quick documentary. And the obligatory video featuring music from Pink Floyd's "The Wall."

The Visitors are humanoid beings who hover over Earth in those monster Frisbee motherships from "Independence Day." (By the way, "Independence Day" totally stole the concept of V, which ABC fully admits during the first 10 minutes of the show.) The Visitors say they come in peace but in reality are lizards that mask themselves in human flesh-suits not quite as crude as the one stitched together by Buffalo Bill in "Silence of the Lambs." The sun apparently hurts their eyes because they wear those huge sunglasses that old people now wear every day in Florida.

These aliens in reality have used up their food and water resources and come to earth to coyly take it over. They don't come in with guns blazing, but some offer peace, friendship, cures for cancer, the whole deal. As my coworker reminded me, the Visitors somehow dismantle U.S. and Soviet Union militaries, which makes it a whole lot easier to gobble up mankind and drink the Great Lakes.

I was 8 years old when the original aired and it scared the hell out of me. The lizard-men would stick out their long forked tongues, pop out their eyes to reveal the evil red-slit spheres behind them. I thought it was entirely possible for me to be eaten by one of those things.

Marc Singer of "Beastmaster" fame was the resistance leader of about 20 people, who somehow figured out a way to kill of the Vs. You get the idea.

I have no interest in ABC's version. Zero. I'm sure the special effects will be boffo, and I've noticed that Anna, the lead female villain, looks a lot like Rachel Maddow. But that's not why I'm not watching. I want originality! It's bad enough Hollywood is remaking movies that have no business being remade, like "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Psycho" and "Halloween," but now studios are remaking miniseries? What's next, "The Thornbirds"?

(Photos both courtesy of Reuters.)

Just like fighting off creepy advances from a depraved uncle, going to the zoo is a part of every childhood. And while one is clearly more enjoyable than the other, it's a shame these children are being deprived of an in-the-flesh zebra.

I'm sure we give some amount of aid, either directly or indirectly, to the Palestinian people every year. Can't we at least provide a real zebra, too? They can't cost that much, and think of the positive outreach! We could insist the zebra be named Uncle Sam, and post a sign at the zebra pen stating "Uncle Sam was made possible by the United States of America!" If that doesn't leave the Palestinians liking us a little more, then nothing will. (Unless, of course, we throw in a giraffe. I don't care how much yellow and brown dye you use, you cannot fake a giraffe.)

Good for Marge. I don't think she necessarily needs the money, given The Simpsons has been on for 20 years, but she's her own woman and can do what she pleases.

As for Playboy's decision: "New CEO Scott Flanders says the idea is to attract readers in their 20s to a magazine where the average reader's age is 35."

Wait a second. Playboy magazine is having trouble attracting men in their 20s to "read" at a magazine filled with beautiful naked women? What has the world come to?

... a Nobel Peace Prize. Unfortunately I didn't win, but my sincerest thanks to those who nominated me. Maybe next year.

Oh, by the way, check out this link to see what world leaders are saying about the guy who did win the Peace Prize. Note what the Taliban spokesman said. (I think he's just jealous he didn't win. I also think it's hilarious the Taliban has a spokesman. How do you get that job? Do you need a communications degree and have adequate knowledge of bomb-making?)

Levi's posing for Playgirl magazine. And I'm certain Larry King has already booked him for when the issue hits the stands.

King: "Levi, why are you doing this?"

Levi: "Um, like, doing what, old dude?"

King: "Losing what remains of your credibility. But don't worry about it, kid. Happened to me long ago, like when Nancy Grace asked if she could guest host, and I made her sleep with me to get the gig. Some said I was immoral. I said I was in between marriages to 30-year-olds and had 10 minutes to spare. If the fish are biting, reel 'em in and club 'em with an oar. That's what I say. Grand Forks, North Dakota, if I posed for Playgirl, would you buy 50 issues or 100?"

(BLOGGERS NOTE: Larry King and Levi Johnston never had that fictional conversation. Just covering my bases.)

As for Levi Johnston, God Bless America for Playgirl being stupid enough to pay him whatever their paying him to bare all. (By the way, Playgirl, I'm getting married, and it's damn expensive. My number's 973-428-6627. Although I'd insist my issue come with either a blindfold or a vomit bag. You gotta be fair to the readers.)

Should Porcello win, he might not be allowed to participate in the clubhouse champagne celebration because he's only 20 years old. And now the hopes of an entire city rest on his shoulders. His task is to beat the sizzling hot Twins in Minnesota's disgrace of a ballpark, the Metrodome. The Tigers choked away their lead and are lucky to be in this position.

Whoever wins gets to play the New York Yankee$ on Wednesday in the Bronx, where it's widely believed whichever team plays the Bronx Bomber$ will be steamrolled. I hope that's not the case. I think the Twins lineup is best able to handle the Yankees pitching right now. But what do I know?

So here's my prediction: The Twins will beat the Tigers. That's what my gut tells me. I don't personally give a darn who wins, and wish Porcello the best, because if you were to have told him a year ago he'll be pitching the game that will decide whether his team lives or dies in 2009, he'd have probably chuckled. Good luck to him.