Bonne Chance

Alone in the woods, can Monkey's scream be heard?

2010-02-20T10:28:16-08:00

DAH: You're kinda quiet.

Monkey: Nothing to say.

DAH: That's unlike you.

Monkey: Unlike you, you mean.

DAH: We do have a certain kinship.

Monkey: Peculiar, that.

DAH: Yeah.

Monkey:

DAH: Nothing to say, really?

Monkey: I've adopted some of your rules.

DAH: Such as?

Monkey: "Talk less."

DAH: That is one of my rules. I don't always obey it.

Monkey: "Avoid talking about yourself."

DAH: People would rather talk about themselves than hear about me.

Monkey: Or me.

DAH: Except in these monkey-posts, of course.

Monkey: Of course.

DAH: There are always exceptions.

Monkey: Blah, blah, blah.

DAH: Tired of talking? I thought I was drawing you out.

Monkey: Tired of random blather. Here's a tip: Have a point.

DAH: You lifted that from some movie, didn't you? It sounds familiar.

Monkey: I'm trying to remind you about another rule.

DAH: "Speak only with a purpose."

Monkey: That's it.

DAH: Talk less. Don't talk about yourself. Speak only with a purpose. I sound like kind of a quiet guy.

Monkey: And yet --

DAH: But maybe we need to make some noise in the world. Maybe we need to do something that says, "I'm here!"

Monkey: Now you sound arrogant and self-important again. Me, me, me.

DAH: Geez, you're a tough -- "friend."

Monkey: I am but as I am made.

DAH: And I'll try to stick to my rules.

Monkey: Good.

DAH: Good.

Monkey: Still, a silly little song now and then wouldn't hurt.

DAH is David Anthony Hance. Monkey just is. DavidAnthonyHance.com

Meet Monkey

2010-02-19T14:34:09-08:00

DAH: Who's that?

Monkey: Allow me to introduce Singe de Chaussette.

DAH: Is she French?

Monkey: How should I know?

DAH: Does she talk?

Monkey: I speak for her.

DAH: How did she tell you her name?

Monkey: She's sitting right here. Use her name, please. Have a little couth.

DAH: How did Singe de Chaussette tell you her name?

Monkey: We monkeys just know these things. We have no need for words.

DAH: For someone with "no need for words" you talk rather a lot.

Monkey: And whose fault is that?

DAH: Right. Fair enough. Where did Singe come from?

Monkey: Joyce.

DAH: Excuse me?

Monkey: Joyce.

DAH: Is that a place? A place in France?

Monkey: How should I know?

DAH: Wait. You mean "Joyce," don't you? A person, our friend named Joyce. I thought you meant some French place, like "Joyeux" or something.

Monkey: Then why would I have said it with that sibilant ending? And is there really some place in France called "Joyeux?" I thought it was just something the French said before "Noel."

DAH: Forget it. I understand. Singe de Chaussette was a gift to Christine from our friend Joyce.

Monkey: Whatever.

DAH: I just didn't remember the gift having a name.

Monkey: And so you're surprised? Why be surprised that you don't know something? Just because you don't know something doesn't mean something can't be. Do you think you could or should know everything? That is so arrogant, or naive. Give me a break.

DAH: Whoa! Turn down the righteous indignation, buddy.

Monkey: OK. I forgive you.

DAH: Thanks, I guess. So, I suppose you have a name, too?

Monkey: Promise not to be surprised?

DAH: I promise.

Monkey: Well, I go by my first initial, "S."

DAH: That's it? Just "S?"

Monkey: S. Monkey.

DAH: Oh. I always call you "Monkey," and you seem cool with that.

Monkey: Just like Kevin at the theater always calls you "Hance," and you seem cool with that.

DAH: Oh. Got it.

Monkey: You're always guessing, making assumptions, and jumping to conclusions ... then building imaginary castles of conceit upon those sandy foundations.

DAH: "Always?" That's a little harsh.

Monkey: I call 'em like I see 'em.

DAH: And I think your castles-built-on-sand thing is true about most people I know.

Monkey: And I'd call that correct.

DAH: Well, fine. I've got to get back to work.

Monkey: Say good bye to Singe de Chaussette.

DAH: Good bye, Singe de Chaussette. Have fun with S. Monkey.

Singe de Chaussette:

Monkey: She says "au revoir."

DAH is me, David Anthony Hance. S.Monkey is my ... friend. DavidAnthonyHance.com

Smiler with a Knife

2009-10-31T13:47:00-07:00

Monkey: Hey.

DAH: Hey, back at ya.

Monkey:

DAH: What're you doing?

Monkey:

DAH: Just sitting there smiling?

Monkey:

DAH: It's kinda creepy.

Monkey: Yeah.

DAH: Like a smiler with a knife.

Monkey: That sounds cool! What is it?

DAH: It's from Chaucer, actually.

Monkey: Where's Chaucer? Wait, is that near Cucamonga?

DAH: Geoffrey Chaucer.

Monkey: And who, praytell, is Geoffrey Chaucer when he's at home?

DAH: He was a 14th Century English author. He wrote 'The Canterbury Tales.' It's from one of those stories, 'The Knight's Tale,' -- 'The smiler with the knife beneath the cloak.'

Monkey: It still sounds cool. Scary.

DAH: Suspenseful. The idea that someone could seem safe and friendly, but might have a hidden knife, ready to slip between your ribs.

Monkey: I'm not too worried. No ribs. I'm just a stuffed sock, really.

DAH: Stuffed sock?

Monkey: Never mind. Talk more about the smiler.

DAH: Well, I like the whole notion of the smiler with a knife. The idea that there is always risk, and lurking danger, even when you think you're safe.

Monkey: Something might happen.

DAH: Anything might happen.

Monkey: So it's potential, too. If anything might happen, something good might happen. Maybe the smiler is there to protect us.

DAH: Or something bad. Maybe the smiler is just lulling you into a false sense of security. It's a kind of tension, balanced on the sharp edge of that blade.

Monkey: Yeah. Scary.

DAH: I'd kind of like to live my life like that. I do, on stage, when I'm acting.

Monkey: What?

DAH: Even if I'm calm on the surface, I want to be wound tight inside, channeling all energy, for good or ill, like a force of nature. I think people pay attention to that. They can feel that something is about to happen. They just don't know what. So they have to keep watching.

Monkey: Now you're starting to sound a little self-absorbed and crazy. Kinda intense.

DAH: Maybe.

Monkey:

DAH: Just sitting there smiling again, huh?

Monkey:

DAH: Am I just supposed to watch you?

Monkey: Maybe I've got a knife.

DAH: Stuffed sock.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at www.DAHplaytime.com

Five Movies

2009-10-29T16:44:57-07:00

Know me through five movies.

They're not really my five favorite movies (although I do like them all).

But they do all represent something essential of me.

Do you know 'zeitgeist?'

Think of these movies as varied expressions of 'DAHgeist.'

(OK, all I really needed was the 'geist' bit of German, but I figured nobody would understand what I was talking about. Whereas, some of you might have heard or read about 'zeitgeist' – although that word really only serves to introduce and explain the concept of 'geist')

I don't know that I need say anything more.

Either you've seen these movies, and remember them, in which case you already know me.

Or you will try to see some of these movies, because you'd like to get inside my head a bit more.

Or you really don't care that much.

That's OK, too.

These are the five movies. Seems like there ought to be common link. But the only thing I can see offhand is that Hal Ashby directed two of them.

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

Harold and Maude (1971)

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Being There (1979)

Say Anything (1989)

DAH is David Anthony Hance at www.DAHplaytime.com

Abo Ovo, IMMO

2009-09-17T08:07:11-07:00

Monkey: I love my job. It's the work I can't stand.

DAH: What're you talking about? You don't have a job.

Monkey: Sure I do. I set you up to make jokes.

DAH: And you love that.

Monkey: Yes, I do.

DAH: But you can't stand the work.

Monkey: Listen, my friend. It isn't that easy, making you look good. Or funny.

DAH: Oh, but you sure make it look easy. You never seem to lift a finger. Or move your lips.

Monkey: Don't talk about my lips. I'm particularly self-conscious about how red they are.

DAH: Sorry.

Monkey: Have you always been this way?

DAH: Probably. You'll have to ask my Mom.

Monkey: I won't have to ask her. I'm sure she'll comment on this post.

DAH: Abo ovo, I expect.

Monkey: What's that?

DAH: Latin. It means 'from the egg' - so, 'from the beginning.'

Monkey: You mean you, and being silly?

DAH: Yes, I do. And I also blame that little English history primer parody '1066 And All That,' and I blame Monty Python.

Monkey: Do you really mean 'blame?' Wouldn't 'thank' be a little closer to the truth?

DAH: That depends on how jolly I'm feeling about life on any given day.

Monkey: Excuse me for not setting you up for a joke, but IMMO you do yourself and the world sort of a service feeling happy about smiling and encouraging others to smile.

DAH: I guess. IMMO?

Monkey: Text-speak. Like BTW, FYI, and LOL.

DAH: Do you mean IMHO? 'In My Humble Opinion?'

Monkey. Nothing humble about me, buddy. 'In My Monkey Opinion.'

DAH: Not setting me up for a joke, huh?

Monkey: It was a weak joke.

DAH: And yet, I'm smiling.

Monkey: You're welcome.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at www.DAHplaytime.com

Yucca Monkey

2009-09-16T11:16:43-07:00

DAH: Sit still.

Monkey: These leaf things are spiky!

DAH: This will only take a minute.

Monkey: I don't know how you get me into these things.

DAH: I pick you up and put you down. That's all.

Monkey: You're always putting me down. Seems like you ought to pick me up more often. I can always use a little lift more than I can use a put down.

DAH: I place you carefully.

Monkey: Fine. But why?

DAH: I'm testing something.

Monkey: Testing what? How sensitive my knitted behind is to poky plants?

DAH: It's a yucca.

Monkey: It certainly is. And an 'oucha!'

DAH: I mean the plant. It's a yucca.

Monkey: Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm. But you never explained what you're testing.

DAH: These two cameras. I'm taking photographs of the same things with each in turn, to compare their output.

Monkey: And you think anyone wants to see a picture of me on yucca leaves?

DAH: Not really, although you are very handsome.

Monkey: Thank you.

DAH: I'm just taking pictures of any old thing, different sorts of things, to see how the photos from these two different cameras turn out, and how they differ from one another.

Monkey: 'Any old thing.' Very flattering, I'm sure. So, you're a experimental camera scientist now?

DAH: Just two old cameras, new to me. Both belonged to my Dad. One's 20 years older than the other. Both use 35mm film. I'm just trying them out, learning about them.

Monkey: So, how come you're taking a picture of me with your Blackberry, too?

DAH: I need a digital shot for this blog post, silly. I still need to take the film to be developed and printed.

Monkey: You want it all. Instant gratification AND old school photography.

DAH: That's right. That's me. That's now.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at www.DAHplaytime.com

Monkey is usually quieter.

SLO Days

2009-09-14T10:05:39-07:00

On Sunday Christine and I walked over the Jennifer Street footbridge, through the Railroad District, and into downtown San Luis Obispo. It's a 20 minute walk to the Mission (established before the United States was the United States!).

The annual I Madonnari Italian Street Painting Festival was in its second day. Sidewalk chalk for adults and artists, with a section for kids to try out their skills, too. The photos here are from the Festival.

I Madonnari was in the Monday newspaper, The Tribune. As were several other things that made me happy to live in San Luis Obispo County. Such as -

It appears that SLO County has 152 avocado growers who farm a total of 4,200 acres. That's an average of about 28 acres per ranch. One of the avocado growers, a former County supervisor, said, 'We're different than the Southern California growers. We're smaller, owner-managed. Most of us walk our trees daily. They're full of fruit.'

The same page of today's paper reported, with photos, on the third annual Dog Splash Days in Templeton. The Templeton Community Pool is opened for dog swimming, with doggie lifeguards, life vests, dog ramps, and dog swim therapists. Apparently, this event marks the end of summer in some way. After Dog Splash Days the pool is shut down, drained and cleaned. Since it was pretty warm last week, I guess these were the dog days of summer.

The 'From the Vault' section of The Tribune showed photos of the (now gone) Southern Pacific Railroad roundhouse in SLO. A road called Roundhouse is all that remains, but the column mentioned the nascent Central Coast Railroad Festival, of which I knew nothing, but about which I'm rather excited.

Finally, it is WOW week at Cal Poly. 3,500 new students are expected to participate in the university's annual 'Week Of Welcome.' It should become obvious, at least downtown, that the students are back.

The SLO days of summer, which I somehow missed by working a lot, must be over.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at www.DAHplaytime.com

Dad's Cameras

2009-09-08T14:42:45-07:00

My Dad passed away a little more than a month ago. Along with a lot of memories (which keep bubbling to the surface of my busy mind), he left behind a substantial camera collection.

Dad was a collector. And he loved to research and catalog. And he loved photography. And those loves are evident in his cameras.

When I was a teenager, I dabbled in photography. I loved using my Mom's Yashica-Mat twin-lens reflex. I remember the year Dad and Mom gifted me with an Olympus OM-1 single-lens reflex. I was so excited.

I spent time with Dad in the darkroom, developing my first steps in film photography. But as I got older, into my late teens, and off to college, the photo-bug loosed its grip on me. And I couldn't seem to get it to grab me again.

After Dad retired, and his avid interest in cameras gained room to grow, I felt less and less worthy of playing with cameras myself. It all seemed too much: There was so much to learn, and he already seemed to know all of it.

Playing with cameras. That's what I felt I would be doing were I to pick one up and fool around. Even point-and-shoot cameras. Even digital cameras. I was intimidated without even knowing it. It took his passing to show me that.

A few weeks after Dad died, Christine and I were at Mom's house, along with John and Lisa.

Mom: David, you need to look at Dad's cameras, and pick out a couple that appeal to you.

DAH: I don't know. I don't know anything about his cameras.

Mom: Well, Peter looked through them, and read about them a bit, and chose some. He's marked them in the display cabinet.

John: I picked out some, too. Come on, I'll bet there's a couple you'd be interested in.

DAH: Well, OK. But I don't know anything about cameras.

Where's monkey when you really need a straight man to build into a laugh line? Not here now, and not there then, and there wasn't any laughter. Maybe I cry too easily.

But it really was interesting. And as John and I looked at cameras, I knew what I wanted. I wanted the cameras I'd used as a boy, or like the ones I'd used, or seen my parents use. And I wanted to use them, too.

So, I have Dad's first Periflex. He bought it in the summer of 1958, just in time to take photos of his new baby boy. He used it to take photos on the Mauritania when we shipped west from England to America.

Mom said, 'He liked that Leica CL, and he used that.' So I have that Leica CL, and I'm taking photos with it, too. These first photos are probably crap, but you have to start somewhere.

And I've got a Yashica-Mat, like Mom's. I bought for myself. It's getting cleaned and repaired so I can shoot with that, as well.

Maybe you can't go home again. But you can take parts of it with you. And use them. Make something new out of your memories, to keep them lively in your mind's eye. Next best thing to a really good photograph.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at www.DAHplaytime.com

A Modern Pastime

2009-08-25T10:28:06-07:00

Deriding that about which you know nothing: A favorite modern pastime.

Gary Vaynerchuk of Wine Library and Wine Library TV fame tweeted this USA Today link: USA Today On Twitter

Please note: I would have no awareness of this article if I did not follow @garyvee on Twitter.

I have had many conversations about Twitter with friends and associates. Well, not so much conversations. More like rant-control as they go off about Twitter. Or Facebook. Or E-Mail. Or Blogging. Or Podcasting. Or Digital Music. Or Cable TV. Or Cell Phones. Or the introduction of the telegraph. Or the Pony Express. Or Railroads. Or Electricity.

OK, so the last few, not so much.

Or another favorite: Wine is wine. Who cares where it's from? I either like it or I don't. Why do THEY make such a big deal about it?

Or as in: Who needs Washington wine? There's already too much wine!

Or even: Walla Walla wine! That's stupid. Who cares about Walla Walla?

Or: Why Cadaretta? Why do we need ANOTHER wine from Walla Walla?

The people with whom I have all these rant-control conversations (I'm doing the rant controlling, they're doing the ranting) are all the same people. Over and over again. Coping with the prospect of new choices by ranting about them.

Some people love the new. Often unabashedly and without selectivity. Such people are not the ranters I'm dealing with.

Some people are alarmed by the new. Often unabashedly and without selectivity. Such people ARE the ranters I'm dealing with.

What I'd prefer: Everyone sorting the old and new and making choices that work for them without complaining (ranting) about the choosing process.

What I'm going to get: More ranting, I expect.

The USA Today article suggests that 40% of Twitter is babble.

Gary Vaynerchuk suggests that 40% of everything is babble.

DAH suggests that more than 50% of everything is babble. And that at least 20% of the rest is ranting and complaining.

Which is why we should all just chill ... a bottle of Cadaretta SBS ... and just chill.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at DAHplaytime.com

Not So Fast

2009-08-24T10:34:02-07:00

Not So Fast

This past weekend's edition of The Wall Street Journal (Aug 22-23, 2009) included an essay by John Freeman, editor of GRANTA magazine, adapted from his soon-to-be-published book 'The Tyranny of E-Mail.'

Mr. Freeman's essay is a manifesto for slow communication.

Actually, it isn't really, simply, a manifesto for slow communication. It is a manifesto for appropriate communication.

There's a very funny scene in the movie 'Joe Versus The Volcano' in which Dan Hedaya's office manager character, on a seemingly never-ending telephone conversation, repeats, over and over and over, 'I know he can get the job, but can he do the job?'

Monkey: What the heck are you talking about now? Joe Versus the Volcano?

DAH: Tom Hanks movie. By John Patrick Shanley. I love John Patrick Shanley.

Monkey: Who?

DAH: The guy who wrote Moonstruck. I love that movie.

Monkey: Right, OK. But what does that have to do with e-mail and 'Not So Fast'?

DAH: I know I can do it fast, but should I do it fast?

Monkey: Now there, again, I still don't get it.

DAH: Just because we are able to communicate more quickly, that doesn't mean that quick communication is the best way to share information.

Monkey: Now we're getting somewhere!

DAH: Being able to do something, and doing something WELL, are not the same thing.

Monkey: I've got it! I've got it! Hurry up!

DAH: Not so fast.

Monkey: You think you're so damn funny.

DAH: Most of the time, I am.

Monkey: I feel like I'm just the straight man in this partnership.

DAH: Duh.

Here's what Mr. Freeman writes, in a nutshell:

1. Speed matters. The speed at which we do something - anything - changes our experience of it.

2. The Physical World matters. We may rely heavily on the Internet, but we cannot touch it, taste it, or experience the (togetherness of) face-to-face interaction.

3. Context matters. We need context in order to live, and if the environment of electronic communication has stopped providing it, we shouldn't search online for a solution, but turn back to the real world.

Over the past few generations we have increasingly associated progress with speed, to the extent that we often consider them as one and the same. They are not. Speed is an attribute or an ability, while progress is a value, maybe a virtue.

Think before you hurry. Just because you're going fast doesn't mean you're going good.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at www.DAHplaytime.com