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4 Ways To Enjoy Sports Without Wrecking Your Family Or Marriage

Jon — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 19:30:02 +0000

I realize that every guy is different, but for the most part, guys love sports. We love to play sports. We love to watch sports. We love to read about sports. We love to talk about sports.

On the flip side, women aren’t into sports like men are. Oh sure, there are gals out there who are crazy about sports. However, I’m sure it’s safe to say that by in large, guys are into sports much more than gals.

So where am I going with this?

It’s a sad truth that in our society, a husband’s addiction to sports has caused more than one marital problem. It’s hard to spend quality time with your wife when the TV is constantly tuned to ESPN. So guys, a key to having a quality marriage (assuming you’re a typical sports nut) is finding a way to enjoy sports without blowing off your wife and kids—which is not an easy task for some, but it can be done.

Here are four ideas on how to enjoy your sports addiction while still being a good husband and dad…

Start a Sports Schedule or Routine

Sorry guys, but you can’t use sports as an escape from life. Meaning it’s not okay to come home, plop your butt on the sofa, and watch ESPN until bed. At least not if you expect to have a happy marriage.

Instead of just tuning in (to sports) and then tuning out (your family), make a sports schedule and keep the routine. If you enjoy watching Sports Center daily, pick a time to watch early in the morning or after the kids have gone to bed, and then stick to that. Using a DVR to record and watch it later is also helpful.

If you play in a fantasy league or like to read sports news/blogs online, then keep that activity confined to a specific time of the day as well. This way your family will know they can spend time with you the rest of the day, and they won’t feel shutout by Sports Center.
Let your Family Know About Upcoming Games you Plan to Watch

Obviously a routine doesn’t work when it comes to game 5 of the NBA Finals. And face it, you’re not a serious sports nut if you don’t watch playoff games in the sports you follow. Since these playoff games can come at odd times and are not always predictable, just let your family know ahead of time there’s a big game on TV tomorrow night, and you’d really like to watch it.

(And no gals… in case you were wondering… it’s not cool to DVR a live playoff game and watch it later… sorry!)

As long as you don’t overdo it and have to watch “important games” several nights a week all year long, then your family should be understanding. You might even use these games as an opportunity to teach your kids about the joy of watching sports, by getting them involved (more on that point in a bit).
Ask for Permission Before Joining a Sports League (including fantasy leagues)

I know… I know… we men don’t feel we should have to ASK our wives if it’s okay to play for our company softball team this summer, or ask our wives if it’s okay to join another fantasy football league this fall. But think about it this way, those activities can consume a lot of your time and energy. How would you feel if your wife started a hobby or activity that kept her away from the house every Saturday afternoon—leaving you behind to watch the kids—and she didn’t even bother to ask if you were okay with it? Yeah, she doesn’t like that either.

So do the right thing and ask for permission whenever your sports addiction is going to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. What if your buddies invite you to go with them to the baseball game tonight? Ask your wife if she minds. What if your pastor asks you to join the church intramural volleyball league? Check with your wife first and make sure she’s okay with it.
Get your Family Involved in Sports

Getting your family involved in sports can be the hardest to accomplish, but is the best way to accommodate both your sports addiction and your family. Perhaps you can ask them if they’d like to watch the big playoff game together as a family, taking the opportunity to teach your kids (and wife) about the rules and intricacies of the game. There’s a good chance your wife would go along with the idea if instead of just YOU watching the game by yourself, you turned it into a family activity.

Other ideas are taking the entire family to a baseball game on family night… getting your kids involved in junior football, baseball, or gymnastics… reading sports news to your baby or toddler… (hey why not?)

Just be creative and find ways to involve the family in your passion for sports. It’ll be a win-win for both them and you.

Tags: Family, Family Time, Marriage, Marriage Tips, Parenting Tips, Sports

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Ultrasound Picture – It’s a Girl!

Jon — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 22:04:37 +0000

Last week Shan went in for her 20 week ultrasound. We were excited because we wanted to know the baby’s gender. Also since Shan takes seizure medication, we just wanted that piece of mind that everything was fine.

I’m pleased to report that both Shan and the baby—which I’ve nicknamed “Rambo”—are both completely healthy. The ultrasound doctor verified the due date was indeed October 22, and said we have a beautiful baby girl. That’s right, we’re going to have another girl!

I realize having a girl makes my “Rambo” nickname a little strange, but no matter, Shan and I couldn’t be more thrilled to have another little girl running around the house.

Of course once I shared this news with family and friends, the joking began in full earnest! Several people pointed out immediately on my Facebook wall that I now get to pay for TWO weddings. Another friend reminded me that the weddings weren’t the problem… it’s all the boyfriends leading up to those weddings that will be the hard part.

Ugh. I really don’t want to think about all that just now. I realize they grow up fast, but let’s get Rambo born first, okay?

At any rate, Shan and I would like to thank all of you for your prayers that everyone remains healthy throughout the pregnancy and birth. Keep those prayers coming… thanks!

Tags: Pregnancy, Ultrasound

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Happy Mother’s Day Shan

Jon — Sun, 10 May 2009 17:07:52 +0000

Guys, I failed. My daughter just turned three, and she didn’t get her mom anything for Mother’s Day. Which means, I didn’t help my daughter get anything for Shan. It’s not that I didn’t mean to. I kept trying to think of ideas for something special Olivia could do for her mommy. There’s always the old standby of getting a card, but I wanted it to be something more special than that. So I never got a card.

Last night I realized time was short. So I desperately sent a tweet asking all my followers for suggestions on what Olivia could get Shan for Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, nobody had any suggestions for me. I had no ideas, and time was running short. Eventually, I ended up just going to bed in defeat.

This morning, after everyone woke up, I whispered in Olivia’s ear “Tell mommy Happy Mother’s Day!” which she did. But that’s all I ended up doing. Pretty sad I know. I’m sorry Shan.

I would still like to do something, however, so I’m going to take this opportunity to publicly blog about how great of a mom my wife is.

Why Shan is the best mom ever:

Shan never complains about having to change poopy pants.
Shan is always ready to kiss a stubbed toe.
Shan never gets tired of reading the same book for the 78th time (or at least she doesn’t let on).
Shan can put Olivia’s hair into the prettiest looking ponytails.
Shan is the best snuggler in the whole world, just ask Olivia!
Shan teaches Olivia all of those important “girl things” a dad will never understand.
And despite lovingly carrying baby number two, Shan still has an abundance of time and energy for the rest of her family.
Shan is the best mom ever!

Olivia and I both love you very much.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Tags: Mother's Day, Olivia, Shan

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How Not To Save Money

Jon — Sat, 09 May 2009 21:42:40 +0000

I recently wrote a post about how I’m trying to save money since we’re having another baby in October. I decided to give you an update on our progress. Unfortunately, lack of progress is a better way to describe things.

Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties are expensive

Olivia turned three years old a little over a week ago, and we decided to have a birthday party for her at Chuck E. Cheese. You know, that place with the overpriced pizza and tons of screaming kids (and parents) running around everywhere? Yep, that’s the place.

It turned out to be a fun time, but we decided to pay for everything. So we paid for the party and some extra pizza and drinks for the adults. Also the nearest Chuck E. Cheese is over an hour’s drive, so we had to spend on gas. Then there was the obligatory after-party shopping for the moms…

Don’t get me wrong, it was a great day and I’m glad we did it. It just didn’t help us in our quest to save money.

Flowers and plants aren’t cheap either

I live in the Great Plains part of the country. So we have four distinct seasons: almost-winter, winter, still-winter, and road construction. All kidding aside, we’re having a really nice spring this year, so last weekend we decided to do some minor landscaping. Nothing much, we just wanted to get six pots to plant some flowers and greenery, so we could place them on the landscaping rock around our house.

The pots were around $15-20 each. Then the flowers and plants cost anywhere from $1-3 each, and as it turns out, you need a lot of them to fill six large pots. At the end of the day, we easily spent a couple hundred dollars or more on this project. Then there’s the maintenance on the lawnmower, paying Scott’s Lawn Service to keep the lawn green and weed-free. It all adds up fast.

Vanilla lattes at McDonald’s are delicious

Yeah, I went and got myself addicted to vanilla lattes at McDonald’s. And since I’m most definitely not a morning person, I usually opt for the $3.60 large size. I don’t even want to do the math for what that adds up to in a month. I’m already depressed enough as it is.

Oh, did I mention we bought a minivan?

In my last post about saving money, I said that one of the reasons (besides having another kid) was that we needed a larger vehicle. Well a few weeks ago I was reading the newspaper, and I saw an ad for the local car dealership that had a used 2008 Chrysler Town & Country for a decent price. I looked up the vehicle at cars.com and e-mailed the dealer with an offer. They replied back that it was a fair offer, and asked us to come in for a test drive. Sure enough, we loved the minivan and ended up purchasing it.

Now while I’m sure others could have gotten the dealer to come down another couple hundred dollars, we still got one heck of a deal, and the payments are affordable. It’s just that I was hoping to have enacted some budget savings before we purchased a second vehicle. Instead, we’ve been spending more money recently! That’s not how I planned it.

Oh well, I guess that’s how life goes. At least despite using it for a down payment, tax & license, we still have money in our savings account. And we still have plenty of time to find those budget savings before the baby comes in late October.

I just need to kick that vanilla latte habit before then…

Tags: Car, Finances, Money, Save Money

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Look Mom, I’m a Starship Captain!

Jon — Sat, 09 May 2009 16:40:35 +0000

Hey look! I’m the captain of a starship!

Just a little fun on “Star Trek” weekend. I hope to see the movie soon. The only problem is finding a babysitter on short notice. Otherwise I’ll have to go later in the week instead.

If you’ve seen the movie, how did you like it?

Tags: Babysitter, Movie, Silly, Star Trek

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Ideas to Save Money (and We Need Your Help)

Jon — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 15:01:13 +0000

Earlier this year my wife and I both found out we wouldn’t be getting raises at work this year. We both work for the same company, and its budget year starts on July 1st. That means the earliest we could possibly get another raise won’t be until July 1, 2010!

Don’t get me wrong, this is much better than losing our jobs, or having to take a pay cut. So by no means am I trying to complain. It’s just that since we’re also having another baby this year, we’ve decided it was time to take a hard look at our monthly expenses to see if there are areas we can cut back.

We need a new car

What makes this task even more important is the fact that we’re going to need a bigger vehicle before the baby comes. We currently have only one car—a Chevy Caviler. Sure it’s a four door, but it’s already too small, especially for road trips.

If needed, we could get a luggage rack for the roof for some extra space on longer trips, but I don’t think the baby’s car seat is going to fit well in the backseat along with Olivia. They’ll literally be side-by-side, and nothing would stop Olivia from touching, bothering, or sticking things in the face of the baby. Not ideal…

Since we’re going to need to get a larger vehicle, and we’re not getting a raise, and we’re going to have another mouth to feed… well hopefully you can see why we’re looking at ways to cut expenses.

We’re going to look at everything

As we look at ways to cut expenses, we’re going to look at everything possible! From cutting coupons, to canceling subscriptions, to changing our cable package, to the food we eat, to our entertainment choices. Nothing is going to be too sacred to consider cutting or changing in order to save money.

That doesn’t mean we’re going to radically change our lifestyles if we don’t have to. It’s just that we’re going to consider everything. If we can cut just $10 per month in ten different areas of our lives, that’s a savings of $100 each month! More than enough to cover the cost of formula for the new baby.

In the coming days and weeks, as I discover new ways to cut costs in our budget, I hope to share them here. Since I know a lot of dads are in situations similar to mine, it’s my hope that sharing my cost cutting ideas can inspire you to find ways to save money in your own budget.

We need your help

While I hope to come up with some great ways to save cash each month in my own budget, I doubt that I’ll think of every possible way to save money all on my own. That’s where you come into the picture.

If you have an idea or tip for saving money, please share it with us! The easiest way is to leave a comment below. Or you can send it to my @dadtrek Twitter account. I plan on compiling your tips and ideas into a future blog post.

So thanks in advance for your help. Together I’m sure we can really find some creative ways to better our families by saving money each month!

Tags: Budget, Expenses, Finances, Money, Save Money

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Should Husbands Attend Prenatal Checkups?

Jon — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:44:19 +0000

Have you seen the movie Nine Months? In the middle of the movie, Hugh Grant’s character forgot about the doctor appointment, so Julianne Moore’s character stopped talking to him for a long time afterwards. To her, his failure to show up to the appointment was the last straw!

What about you? If you miss your wife’s prenatal checkups, is she going to be okay with that? Or will you be in the doghouse?

Reasons To Go With Your Wife

The main reason to accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups is the support it gives her. Especially if she asks you to be there. Guys, your wife is going through a lot of changes, and it’s not always easy on her. Anything you can do to be supportive will go a long way to helping her get through the pregnancy.

The second reason to accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups is so that you stay informed. It’s your chance to hear directly from the doctor about how the pregnancy is going. You’ll also have an opportunity to ask your questions. Sure, you could give your wife a list of questions ahead of time, but you’ll often find out new things from the doctor during the visit itself, that spawn new questions.

Prenatal checkups can be a lot of fun.

The third reason to accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups is so that you can get to know the doctor. Hopefully the same doctor will be the one delivering your baby. Once your wife goes into labor and heads to the hospital, you’re going to be her main advocate. So it’s important that you’re comfortable talking to your wife’s doctor. That job is a lot easier if you’ve been around for the checkups and got to know the doctor a little bit.

The last reason to accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups is that they can be a lot of fun. You’ll get to hear the baby’s heart beat. Other people will smile at you in the waiting room, because they’ll see you’re with your pregnant wife. (It’s funny, but people tend to like the fact that dad’s get involved.) Finally, around 20 weeks your wife will probably get an ultrasound. Seeing your baby for the first time on that ultrasound screen is amazing!

What If You Can’t Be There

Some guys just won’t be able to go with their wives to their prenatal checkups. There’s all sorts of reasons why this might happen. Some expecting dads won’t be able to get off work. Or they might travel for their job, so they’re often out of town. Whatever the reason, you can still be involved.

Make EVERY attempt to attend the ultrasound.

The first way to stay involved is to keep track of your wife’s appointment schedule. Then the night before, write down a list of questions you have for the doctor. Then before her appointment, you can give her your list and let her know you wish you could be there, and hope everything goes well. If you can receive phone calls at work, ask your wife to give you a quick call once the appointment is over, so you can find out how it went.

The second way to stay involved is to find out when your wife is going to have her ultrasound. Guys… make EVERY attempt to be there for the ultrasound. You will regret not being there. Don’t quit your job over the issue, but you should do just about anything possible short of that to be there.

My Personal Attendance Record

I’m proud to say that I’ve attended every one of my wife’s prenatal checkups. I wasn’t there when she went in to see if she was pregnant, but I’ve attended every other checkup. I’m fortunate to have an employer that is supportive of these types of things. I do have to use leave or flex my hours, but they’re okay with letting me go with her each month.

Last week I went with Shan to her first monthly prenatal checkup. We got to hear the baby’s heart beat, and we learned that everything was progressing fine. I also got to meet the doctor and start getting to know her. It was fun going with my wife, and I could tell she appreciated it.

I hope you can accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups too. If you can’t, please do your best to show your wife that you’re interested in them, and feel bad that you can’t go. And no matter what, do your VERY best to attend the ultrasound. You’ll be glad you did.

Tags: Baby, Doctor, Pregnancy, Prenatal, Ultrasound, Wife

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Adventures in Potty Training

Jon — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 16:29:02 +0000

Some toddlers are potty trained before they’re 2 years old. Some toddlers even managed to get potty trained in less than one week. Then there’s Olivia…

Olivia has been potty training since late summer, and she’s definitely make some progress. In fact just last week, she went poop and tried to wipe herself without any help. Before she was finished, she did call out from the bathroom “Daddy, can you come help me?” I went in there to find she was holding soiled toilet paper in one hand, a clump of poop in the other hand, and there was another clump of poop smeared on the bathroom floor. But no matter… at least she tried.

She does great going poop in the toilet. I can’t even remember the last time she pooped in her pants. The problem we’re having is going potty. I guess the girl just loves to pee in her pull-up.

She does great at daycare, but not at home

Let me rephrase that last statement. What I should have said was… I guess the girl just loves to pee in her pull-up at home.

Olivia does great going potty at daycare. She hasn’t had an accident while at daycare for many weeks. In fact, as far as daycare is concerned, she’s basically done being potty-trained. Yet when she’s home, the girl refuses to go potty. If we simply ask the question “do you need to go potty” she almost always gives us an angry and emphatic NO!

Olivia does great going potty at daycare.

I believe that something we did in the past must have formed a trigger. Perhaps we nagged her too much to go potty. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s there, and we’re stuck dealing with it now.

Now we’re trying all types of incentives to convince her to use the potty. Every time she goes potty while at home, she gets to put a sticker on a chart we keep on the refrigerator. We’ve also tried giving her a jelly bean after each successful trip to the bathroom. These incentives have worked sporadically, but often Olivia could just care less.

Patience and perseverance are probably the answer

I suspect that there’s not much we’ll be able to do to proactively correct this behavior. My guess is that we’ll just have to wait it out. As she gets older, she’ll hopefully just grow out of whatever trigger causes her to not want to potty at home. And as long as Shan and I don’t put too much pressure on her, hopefully she’ll be fully potty trained before we know it.

What about you?

Do you have any potty training stories to share? Do you have suggestions for how we should handle this situation? Please share them in the comments section below.

Tags: Daycare, Poop, Potty Training

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How I Got Sick From P90X

Jon — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:00:54 +0000

I‘ve been doing P90X for five weeks now, and each week I’ve gotten extremely run down and sick. It’s gotten so routine that I finally asked for help on the BeachBody community forums.

What’s Been Happening

I feel great at the beginning of the week. I try to eat right and stay positive. When we get home from work, I put on my exercise gear and do my P90X as intensely as possible. However by Thursday or Friday, I start feeling run down. My energy levels get very low. All I feel like doing is laying around on the couch doing nothing.

So I skip one or two workouts, and then by Monday I’m feeling okay again. Then the cycle repeats itself.

I suspected it had to do with my diet, so I found a nutrition thread on the forum and shared my situation. A really friendly community member named Troy analyzed my situation, and gave me some excellent advice.

Troy’s Advice

I’m pretty much doing okay eating the correct types of foods, but I’m eating too much in the evenings and not enough in the morning/afternoon. This means that by the end of the work day, I have low energy because I haven’t been fueling up my body. He suggested that I eat a larger breakfast and lunch, and eat a smaller supper, versus the other way around that I’ve been doing it.
He also suggested that I may not be eating enough calories. I’ve been trying to eat around 2400 calories per day, but that’s apparently not enough. Can you believe that!? According to Troy I should be eating closer to 2700 calories each day. I checked the caloric calculator from the BeachBody web site, and it confirmed this. The reason for this is because I’m burning over 600 calories from each workout. Additionally, eating more “tricks” my body into thinking everything is fine so it will burn my fat stores. Remember, fat has the highest number of calories per gram, so when the body is not sure it will be getting enough food in a day, it tends to hold on to the fat and burns it last. So in order to lose fat, we need to eat more often in smaller portions, so the body never feels hungry.
Finally, he suggested that I eat at least one serving of fruits or vegetables at each major meal (breakfast, lunch, and supper). This way I keep up the nutrients and energy better.

Summary

I’m just briefly touching on the subject, but suffice it to say, P90X is definitely a hardcore workout. As such, it requires attention to your eating habits. How and when you fuel your body, and with what, is very important when you burn 600 calories or more per day exercising.

However these principals can apply even if you’re not doing P90X. Simply lower the calories but do the same things… eating larger breakfasts and lunches… eating more often with smaller meals… more fruits and veggies… etc.

Last but not least, it’s important to cut out the empty calories like soda and chips. Not that you can’t splurge from time to time, but they shouldn’t be daily staples if you want to eat, look, and feel healthy.

Tags: Beach Body, Diet, Exercise, Health, P90X, Sick

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Olivia’s Trip to the Emergency Room

Jon — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 16:03:13 +0000

Earlier this week we were enjoying a normal day. Olivia went to daycare, Shan and I went to work. At 5:00 PM we got off work, picked up Olivia, went home and had a normal evening. Then when Shan was tucking Olivia into bed, she noticed something green in Olivia’s right nostril.

Shan: “Jon… there’s something up Olivia’s nose… I can’t get it out.”

I rushed into the bedroom and sure enough, there was definitely something in Olivia’s nose. Shan had already tried to use a bulb syringe to suck it out, but it didn’t work. So I plugged the left nostril and told Olivia to blow her nose really hard. She was able to blow air out around the object—whatever it was—so that didn’t work either.

Time to Get Serious

I ran into the bathroom and grabbed a pair of tweezers, then into the kitchen to grab a flashlight. While Shan held her down, I tried my best to get the object out of her nose. The whole time Olivia was screaming and crying. I got the tweezers on the object and pulled, but they slipped right off. It was then she started bleeding from the tweezers, so I immediately stopped.

Me: “Shan… get dressed. We need to take Olivia to the emergency room”

Emergency Room

It was around 6° Fahrenheit outside, so we got everyone bundled up and into the car for the short drive to the ER. Once we got there and were in the waiting room, I used my Blackberry to post an update about what was happening to my Facebook page. Then less than 15 minutes later, we were fortunate enough to see the doctor.

She used some nose spray and told Olivia to blow, but the object wouldn’t dislodge. Then she used her version of tweezers while a nurse, Shan, and I all held Olivia down. Screaming and crying again, the doctor couldn’t get the object out.

She then got a different pair of tweezers (or whatever the hospital calls them). Again, no luck.

Finally she grabbed something that looked like a dental pick. It was thin and bent like an “L” at the end. The doctor used this to hook around the object and was finally able to pull it out. It was a green craft bead.

Me: “Shan, do we have anything like that in the house?”

Shan: “No we don’t. She must have gotten it at daycare.”

Believe it or not, Olivia had that bead up her nose since sometime earlier in the day at daycare. She didn’t complain about it all evening, and we had no reason to look up her nose. We’re actually blessed that Shan happened to notice it at all before Olivia went to sleep for the night.

Daycare

The next morning I told Olivia’s daycare provider what happened. Apparently one of the older girls had brought the beads the day before, and the daycare provider didn’t find all of them. She apologized and told me she would inform the other parent what happened, and to never have her daughter bring the beads again.

The sad part about all of this is yet to come, when we get the bill. I don’t know how many hundreds of dollars this is going to cost us, but with another baby on the way, it’s money we wish we wouldn’t have to spend.

Oh well, it’s part of life. Olivia’s fine, and at least we’ll have a funny story to share with Olivia when she’s older.

Tags: Daycare, Doctor, Emergency, Emergency Room, Money

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