Dad's House

A Lovestruck Man and a Vengeful Beeyatch

dadshouse — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:28:16 +0000

There’s a man who is totally smitten with a woman. Calling him lovestruck doesn’t give his feelings justice. He literally cannot live without her, he is that head over heels in love.

As for the woman? She’s a vengeful beeyatch. Seems someone in her family was mistreated by men, and so she has taken it upon herself to be the consummate Ice Queen. No man can get close to her without getting over some impossibly high hurdles.

And if he fails? The beeyatch cuts off his head!

No, it’s not one of my ex-girlfriends. And, other than the head-chopping part, it’s no one I know in real life.

The vengeful beeyatch is none other than Turandot, from the Puccini opera of the same name. I know, I know – opera? Trust me. Before you yawn and head for the exit, check this clip from the score. Don’t miss the vincero ending. If you don’t recognize the aria, consider yourself schooled:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Pavarotti singing Nessun Dorma, Three Tenors Concert in LA

I recently had the pleasure of watching Turandot in HD on a movie screen. It was the replay of a live performance filmed and beamed from the Metropolitan Opera House in NYC. The Met is doing this all over the country until May. (Met Opera in HD info here.)

Spoiler Alert: I’m about to talk about the ending of the opera. If you haven’t seen the opera Turandot, and think you might someday, stop reading. The emotional rush you’ll get from seeing the opera without the ending spoiled is awesome. Stop reading. Leave a comment. And goodbye.

Now then, if you’re still reading, you’re ready to discuss the ending. Wow! Here’s a guy who wants the princess Turandot for himself. First he has to answer three riddles. He does, and wins her! But the vengeful beeyatch doesn’t want any man. The icy emotional walls surrounding her are thick. No way will any man ever touch her in an intimate fashion.

But this guy has won her, and she has no choice. And then – he does something outrageous! He says something that means he loses her. Now she has won. And now she can behead him!

WTF?! Why did he do that?

Love. Love is bigger than all of us. To sacrifice yourself for another, simply because you love them unconditionally – wow, that’s the real essence of life. That’s the lesson we are all meant to learn. That’s how we can interact with our children, and with every person we meet.

I truly think parenting teaches us about unconditional love like no other thing in life. Some choose to accept the lesson, and even embrace. Others turn their back and walk away.

But to give unconditional love, rather than romantic love, to another person who is not your child? That is hard to do! And it might just be the very purpose of life. (The Dalai Lama says the purpose of life is to be happy, and the way to happiness is by giving love through compassion. That’s pretty darn close to unconditional love.)

So the guy lays his life on the line because he doesn’t want to take Turandot by force. He wants her to love him through her own free will. And… (spoiler alert) she does. L’amore vincere.

Vincero! Vincero! Vincero!

Have a great weekend.

Nessun dorma. Bevi troppo! (No one sleep. Have a cocktail!)

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Cool Parent Points

dadshouse — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:37:51 +0000

Cool Parent points.

If you’re a parent, you know what those are.

You earn them when your kids don’t think you’re a nerd, geek, or life-ruining jerk.

i.e., you do something cool.

Seems a few parents in the parenting blogosphere have been scoring cool parent points lately, moi included.

Put on your sunglasses and look way cool as you head over to the Silicon Valley Moms Blog and read about:

More Cool Parent Points Scored

(If that pre-programmed link doesn’t work, you can head straight to SV Moms.)

How cool is that?

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My Sexy Daughter

dadshouse — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:33:31 +0000

My teen daughter is a good girl. She gets good grades, participates in sports, helps around the house when I ask her (er… make that, she helps around the house when I give her gas money for her truck!)

So when one of the Hot Moms asked at the Hot Dads blog why it’s okay for men to check out sexy women, yet not let their daughters wear what they want, because isn’t that a double standard? – I reacted!

My daughter is a girl, not a woman. When girls like Miley Cyrus pose nude in bed, with messed up hair that makes her look like she just had sex, I’m disappointed. Fifteen is too young for displays like that. I don’t want my daughter being sexy just yet.

But as a single dad on the dating scene, I have to admit, I do like me a sexy woman. Someone smart, caring, kind, attractive, and compassionate, too. There’s more to a person than their looks and sex appeal. But sexy is definitely an element that turns my head.

I don’t see a double standard in that. Girls are not women. And while my daughter is beautiful, she’s not sexy.

Yet.

As a dad, I hope my daughter meets a great guy some day. I hope she settles down, gets married, has kids, etc. And I assume for her to attract a great guy, she will at some point have to be sexy. Just as he’ll have to be a stud. (And he’ll be smart, caring, kind, etc. – whatever she’s looking for in a man.)

How will I feel when my daughter turns on the sexiness? I certainly won’t start calling her hot. No creepy dad thoughts or remarks from me.

But I do hope she embraces every aspect of being a woman. And part of that femininity is being sexy.

Now then, where’s the Hot Daughters blog… just kidding!!

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Single Parent Life – Stories, Tips, Advice

dadshouse — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:33:45 +0000

A friend recently asked why my single parent blog covers such wide-ranging topics. Of course, there are single parenting tips and advice about divorce separation, co-parenting with an ex, raising children in a two-home family, child custody agreements. There are sexy and funny stories about dating after divorce. Like any blog, Dad’s House is an outlet for me, and also a resource for single parents. Reader comments and insights provide even more help and support.

So what’s with the cocktails, booty calls, sex, books, movies, cooking, and self-awareness?

In short, this blog isn’t about how to be a single parent. It doesn’t focus solely on struggles, survival, money problems and emotional fallout from divorce. And it’s more than a daily diary about my single dad life.

Dad’s House explores how to be happy, enjoy life, and find contentment when you’re parenting kids by yourself and running a household solo. Tons of factors come into play – sex, spirituality, psychology, self-awareness, humor. The sheer joy of cooking, having fun with your kids, being present to the moment, enjoying time to yourself.

So sit back and enjoy the Dad’s House Single Parent Blog grand tour… There’s a ton of stuff here, so browse what you like. Or just scroll down to your favorite cocktail recipe.

Divorce, Child Custody, Co-Parenting

I’ve written quite a bit about marital separation and parenting in a two-household family. Dad’s House single parent and divorce advice posts include:

A 50 50 child custody schedule that has worked great for my kids, my ex-wife and me.
Concerns when a divorced parent wants to move away.
How to co-parent with an ex spouse in a positive way that works.
Divorce birthday party traditions when both single parents and their extended families want to take part.
A look at the fun parent in divorce.
Should an ex’s boyfriend or girlfriend attend school events?
School and doctor communication with divorced parents.
Finding contentment as a divorced parent alone when your ex has custody of the kids.
The Jon and Kate Gosselin divorce, and what the future may hold for this reality TV family.

More on divorce, separation, child custody, and co-parenting on the Divorce page.

Single Parent Dating After Divorce

Some single parents haven’t dated for years, other single moms and single dads (like me) keep cycling through bad first dates and blind dates, searching for a suitable partner to bring around their children, or looking for a lover to keep apart from the kids. I divorced ten years ago, and while I’ve enjoyed several long term relationships and almost remarried twice, I’ve also had my share of sexy, funny, and annoying dating stories. Some single parent dating highlights:

The challenges of a single mom dating a single dad when their schedules don’t match.
The odds of a single dad meeting women at a cooking, yoga, or wine tasting class.
Should a single dad date a hot school teacher if his child is in her class?
Funny stories about internet dating as a divorced dad.
Advice on how to start dating a single father.
Tips on when to start dating after divorce.
Relationship compatibility and life stages.
Single dads looking for love – do they need to have more children?
How a single dad can pick up a woman in front of his kids.

More on single parent dating after divorce on the Dating page.

Single Parents Raising Children, Parenting Teens

Raising children and parenting solo can be challenging, but it’s also quite rewarding. On one hand, as the lone parent you’re the responsible adult providing for your kids and setting the rules in your household. That can be stressful. On the other hand, you get the benefit of extended one-on-one time with your kids, and parent-child communication that can’t be avoided instead can be embraced. Single parent family highlights:

How do I talk to my daughter about sex?
What a father should know about his teenage daughter.
How one dad reacts when his teen daughter starts dating.
The importance of a father spending time with his teenage daughter.
The fun of a single dad cycling with his teen son.
Tips on raising children.

More on raising children, parenting teens, and family communication on the Family page.

Single Parent Sex and Intimacy

No, I don’t mean having sex by yourself! Though sex and intimacy can be a challenge for a single parent without a partner. While I prefer having a long-term girlfriend or lover, I’m no stranger to hooking up on occasion. Some single parenting related posts:

Single parent sex unexpectedly interrupted by kids when your ex has custody.
What to do when an ex girlfriend still wants to have sex.
Dating and intimacy with a single mom or single dad.
Can friends with benefits be friends?
For a single parent with intimacy fears, tantric breathing and sex can be a great help.

More on casual sex, hooking up, one night stands, and booty calls on the Hookups page.

Single Parent Books and Movies

I like to keep an eye on how single parents are depicted in popular culture. I also enjoy sharing good self-help, spirituality, and relationship advice books.

More book and movie reviews are spread throughout the category pages.

Spirituality and Self-Awareness

Any divorced parent might feel the need to heal from within before falling into their next long term relationship. I’ve found post-divorce comfort and guidance in non-religious spiritual wisdom.

More spirituality and self-awareness books on the Misc page.

Cooking, Food, and Recipes for Families

A lot of married men I know can’t cook to save their lives. But after divorce, you don’t have much choice, especially if you’re a single parent with kids to feed.

More healthy recipes and cooking tips on the Recipe page.

Cocktails! Mixed Drinks!

After a long day of doing pretty much everything, any single parent deserves a stiff drink, taken in moderation of course.

More cocktails and mixed drink recipes on the Recipe page.

If you’re new to this blog, welcome! Whether you’re single or married, male or female, childless or a parent – poke around, chime in with opinions and questions. Dad’s House enjoys debate. We all learn, grow, and evolve by interacting with each other. Whether that’s over cocktails or a blog post.

And if you just want to look…? By all means, voyeurs welcome.

Mean Kids, Nice Kids

dadshouse — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:30:57 +0000

My 17-year-old daughter is an angel! So are her friends!! They are super nice kids!

Or so we’ve always thought.

Now her brother and I are wondering if she’s a little devil, and we’ve been sheltering one of the mean kids all these years.

My son was recently cleaning out his closet (not voluntarily; I made him do it) when he came across a pencil box handed down to him by his older sister. Inside was a note written years before when she was 11 years old. A contract signed by her and her girl friends.

You be the judge: nice kids? or mean kids?

The contract states:

If you tell we will be very mad and have the silence treatment for three days. This goes for everyone! You must keep your voice down while we are doing this. You aren’t allowed to play with or bother us. You may not talk to us until 6:30pm. If you tell anyone we won’t speak to you again. We won’t sign the cards you make. If you follow the contract past the last day of school, we will sit with you at lunch but not in any other grade. You may only annoy anyone who has NOT signed.

The friggin’ contract was signed by 12 girls. The dirty dozen! Twelve mean kids, if you ask me.

Of course, if you asked anyone back when these girls were eleven, you’d hear they were the twelve nicest eleven-year-old kids in the after-school daycare.

Next time someone says your child is one of the nice kids, keep in mind they might actually be one of the secret mean kids. And vice versa! Mean kids being nice kids.

Will this keep my daughter out of a good college?

If so, I’m swallowing the mean kids note and pleading ignorance. Or fiction. Or bull-honkey. Whatever paints her as one of the nice kids!!! Ha!

(Ed.Note – my daughter said I could post this note. We all thought it was funny. She couldn’t believe it existed! A group of 11-year-old girls wrote it years ago at an after-school day care. They were all good kids. My daughter is almost an adult now, and one of the nice kids for sure! This post is meant to be a humorous look at bygone days.)

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How to Get Your Teens to the Dinner Table

dadshouse — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:12:30 +0000

How do you get teenagers to the dinner table?

Sure, they’re hungry all the time. But that doesn’t mean they want to eat with dad or mom or siblings. After all, they have distractions – sports, friends, Facebook, iPod, video games, etc.

Some food gurus will have you believe the way to get teens to the dinner table is to cook gourment meals.

To which I say hogwash. Today at the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, I cook up an answer to the question:

Food or Conversation – What Do Kids Want For Dinner?

(If that pre-programmed link doesn’t work, you can head straight to SV Moms.)

Then come on back and tell me what you want for dinner.

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Cell Phone in the Dryer

dadshouse — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:14:13 +0000

My son’s cell phone went through the laundry.

There, I said it. And no, it’s not easier to say simply because it happened at his mom’s house. What happened could have happened at my place or anywhere.

You see, his sister did the laundry, and she doesn’t normally do that chore. She dumped things in the washer one pile at a time. So she didn’t exactly check every pocket for rocks or gum or money.

Or cell phones.

At least I know he won’t be sending any dirty text messages. (Haha. Get it?)

Lesson learned, by both kids.

My son should have emptied his cell phone out of his pocket before he chucked his jeans in the dirty clothes basket.

You’d think he would have noticed when his phone wasn’t near him! He’s a texting maven. His phone chimes, rings, and buzzes off the hook, even when it’s not exactly on the hook.

To help him learn a lesson, we waited a month (!!!) before replacing the dang thing. And we charged him a pretty penny for his share of it. But replace it we did. He’s back texting again.

“Hey Dad,” he said this morning. “I’m popular!”
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“I’ve gotten 200 texts in the last 2 days!”

I don’t equate popularity with number of texts, or self esteem with texting. But he’s only thirteen. Let him have his fun, eh?

“Do you have unlimited texting?” I asked.
“Yes!” he said.
“Are you sure? Because if you don’t, you’re paying the over-run charges.”

He went silent. After paying his share of the replacement phone, I can’t blame him.

“Mom says it’s unlimited,” he said.
Huh? “Are you positive?” I asked.
“I just texted her!”

That’s my boy!

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