Daddy Scratches

No, I don’t miss this view at all. Why do you ask? weep

Daddy Scratches — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 20:11:52 +0000

Click the image above to view full-size photo.

And as I stood there barefoot with a Corona in one hand and my iPhone in the other (because you can take pictures like this with a phone now; welcome to The Future), I thought to myself… [read the rest]

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Believe it or not, Hallmark passed on this one

Daddy Scratches — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 20:55:11 +0000

Jenny, a.k.a. The Bloggess, recently wrote a post that contained a number of Valentine’s Day-card suggestions. This is not one of them … but she did write this phrase elsewhere within that same post, and I feel it really captures the sentiment of this special occasion: In related news: Fifteen years ago today, I asked Wonder Woman to marry me. Tonight, she’ll mark the occasion by playing Bunco with a group of fellow moms who apparently felt Bunco Night just COULD. NOT. WAIT. (Worth noting: I have no idea what the fuck Bunco is. I’m picturing a card game that… [read the rest]

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Exciting news: I am now the millionaire owner of a Major League Baseball school whose employee roster includes Michael Cudlitz, star of the TNT cop-drama “SouthLAnd.”

Daddy Scratches — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 17:21:21 +0000

I saw a tweet the other day from Michael Cudlitz in which he reminded his followers that the season premiere of “SouthLAnd” airs tonight. And as I read that tweet, it occurred to me that I once participated in a promotional push for the show by posting a blog entry that coincided with the show’s spring-2010 season premiere. And for some reason, I decided to look for that post on Google … which is how I stumbled upon this: Whaaaa…? Well, we’re going to have to click on that, now, aren’t we? Let’s see where it goes. Turns out that,… [read the rest]

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And then I got into a political argument with Boston Red Sox pitching legend Curt Schilling

Daddy Scratches — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:16:49 +0000

Curt Schilling is a baseball god to me. What he did with my beloved Red Sox in 2004 — the bloody sock, Game 6 of the ALCS, the team’s first World Series victory in 86 years (a victory for which Curt was largely responsible) — earned a revered and hallowed place in my heart for Curt Schilling The Pitcher. Curt Schilling The Political Commentator? Not so much. Which brings us to the following tête-à-tête (tweet-a-tweet?). nytimes.com/2013/02/05/us/… Men & women fought and died for this right, gave their lives for this right, and we’re going to complain about a wait? —… [read the rest]

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If you like this, you should probably put a ring on it … and then you should get your head checked by a mental-health professional.

Daddy Scratches — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 19:42:26 +0000

Super Bowl Fun Fact: That outfit Beyoncé had on? I’m wearing the same thing. Tough to walk in these shoes, but my ass looks spectacular. — Daddy Scratches (@DaddyScratches) February 4, 2013 What, you thought I was kidding? Awesome — and real — Beyonce images HERE.… [read the rest]

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Burger King spiked my co-worker’s fries with a mind-altering substance

Daddy Scratches — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 20:06:38 +0000

It all started with a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. We ran out of sliced turkey … and being the financially sensible (read: broke) person that I am, I decided that, rather than eat out, I would bring to work a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. Lunchtime arrived. I was weak. Faint. Famished. I ate the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. It was, shall we say, less than satisfying. I was fucking starving. To death, even. Death was imminent. My co-worker, meanwhile, opted for Burger King … a place from which I had not eaten a single morsel in more than 10 years. It was 2002 when last I… [read the rest]

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The Scratches Take Manhattan, Part 3

Daddy Scratches — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 21:42:20 +0000

[Click here for Part 1 | Click here for Part 2] You know what’s cooler than standing on top of the Empire State Building? Standing on top of another building that affords you a great view of the Empire State Building. Thus, we opted for … Step Seven (continued): … the Top of the Rock. Not only is the view spectacular (as shown above), but, in keeping with the guiding principles of The Official Daddy Scratches Guide to Family Fun in New York City … for Broke-Ass People!™, tickets to the Top of the Rock for a family of four total anywhere… [read the rest]

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The Scratches Take Manhattan, Part 2

Daddy Scratches — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 20:57:13 +0000

[Click here for Part 1.] Hello, and welcome back to … The Official Daddy Scratches Guide to Family Fun in New York City … for Broke-Ass People!™ Now then … where were we? Oh, right: The tighty-whities guy makes more than me. But that’s OK! Because we’re in Times Square! And we’re being frugal! So frugal, in fact (and I don’t know how I forgot to mention this in Part 1, but let’s assume it has less to do with forgetfulness and more to do with the human mind suppressing an unimaginable horror) that we actually packed lunch and —… [read the rest]

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The Scratches Take Manhattan, Part 1

Daddy Scratches — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 00:31:41 +0000

Since moving to Pennsylvania more than two years ago, we’d been promising the kids that we’d take them for their first visit to New York City. Delusional dreamer that I am, I had long envisioned the occasion involving an expensive overnight stay, but since we so far have been humiliatingly unsuccessful at luring our financial ship to shore, we decided it was time to temper our grandiose desires and settle for a day trip. And though we didn’t take the Acela up from Philly, cruise a limo to a Broadway show, dine like kings and queens at Nobu and spend… [read the rest]

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Obama 2.0

Daddy Scratches — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 18:48:07 +0000

This is the extent to which President Obama should compromise with the GOP-controlled House during his second term. PS – Congratulations Mr. President. (Yes, you guys, he totally reads my blog.) PPS – Pro tip for future inauguration organizers: The emotional impact of the President’s inaugural address is somewhat diminished when immediately followed by “And now … here’s Kelly Clarkson!” Flashback: Four years ago.… [read the rest]

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