The plaintiff was sheepishly sitting in her chair. The prosecuting attorney (PA) was prancing around the courtroom as though he owned the building. The plaintiff brought her complaint, but before she could finish the PA had already interrupted with his objections based on her imperfect presentation.

Okay. You got me. I made up that story. It’s not true, but did you connect the dot? This courtroom scene parallels some marriage communication patterns. I talked about this idea recently in my article, Competitive Communication: when winning and losing is all that matters.

In this article, I want to take a different angle on relational communication. The big idea is in the form of a question: how easy do you make it for a person to correct you? Is your spouse more like the sheepish plaintiff, slumping down in her chair because you’re like the prancing prosecutor waiting to pounce on her with your pontifications?

• Are you approachable?
• Are you correctable?
• What lengths do you go to in order to help others effectively correct you?
• Do you put more effort in defending your position or helping the other person make their case?

Granted, the questions are counter-intuitive to the self-reliant mind, but aren’t we supposed to be counter-intuitive thinkers? Isn’t the call of Christ on our lives a call to die, not a call to live (Luke 14:27)?

To what degree has your mind been gospelized? While Jesus’ people were putting Him to death, He was asking His Father to forgive them (Luke 23:34). Paul told us to have Christ’s mind in us (Philippians 2:5). How is the process of having Christ formed in you going (Galatians 4:19)?

• There is probably no better way to examine how the mind of Christ is becoming your mind than by assessing how aggressive you are at becoming controlled by the Gospel.
• There is probably no better place to see how this is happening than in your most intimate relationships. For many of us, it would be our marriages. It may also include our small groups.

How easy do you make it for others to correct you? What I’m asking here is whether or not you’re a redemptive thinker–always on the prowl looking for ways you can change and grow.

Our Adam-reflex

Our Adamic-reflex is to defend ourselves. This is something Christ would not do because He had nothing to defend and nothing to hide. His Adamic-reflex was broken. Though He was 100% man, He chose to use His Gospel-reflex muscle.

This should be the goal for all of us–to be like Christ (Ephesians 5:1). What kind of reflex do you have? When someone presents their argument to you, what is your customary and habituated response?

• Is your Adamic-reflex more active in your life?
• Or, is your Gospel-reflex more active in your life?

These are things which cannot be faked because a reflexive action is not a premeditated action. It is who we are at the core of our being. The Gospel-reflexive person has put himself under intense training for the expressed purpose of becoming like the person and personality of Jesus.

It is similar to any kind of training you subject yourself to in order to change. This means you have to make several life-altering and relationship-defining decisions. For example:

1. You must come to an end of yourself (Luke 15:17).
2. You must see the reality of who you are through the mirror of God’s Word (James 1:23).
3. You must call upon God’s help in order to repent (2 Corinthians 7:10).
4. You must enlist the help of your friends to help facilitate change (1 Corinthians 15:33).
5. You must openly, honestly, and humbly talk to your friends about the cost of changing (Luke 14:28).
6. You must mobilize your community of friends to help you break the habituated strongholds in your mind (2 Corinthians 10:3-6).
7. You must continually strive to enter into a state of a Gospel-reflexive thinking (Hebrews 4:11).

If you give up on any one of these points, you will not have a Gospel-reflexive world view and you will revert back to your old patterns of thinking and living. I’m painting a hard and challenging picture here for you because it is a serious matter. Are you willing to accept the Savior’s call to die? Are you willing to become a soldier of the cross?

To read the rest of this article, click correct me to find it on our Member Site.

photo credit: cali.org via photopin cc

How easy do you make it for a person to correct you? is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

How to Identify the Ruling Motives of the Heart

The big idea: how can I change? If you identify the true ruling motive of your heart, then you are at the real starting place in the discipleship/counseling process. This seminar will take you to the heart, while teaching you how to identify the ruling motives of the heart.

Click I want to see the notes to download the notes for this webinar.

Topic: How to Identify the Ruling Motives of the Heart
Date: Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Time: 9:30 pm, Eastern Daylight Time (New York, GMT-04:00)

Human Motivation and Shaping Influences

What shapes you? What motivates you? This fast paced, one hour webinar will unpack all the shaping influences from eternity past until today. These are the things which have happened to us. Though we are not victims because of the power of the Gospel, we all have been influenced.

Topic: Human Motivation and Shaping Influences
Date: Thursday, May 16, 2013
Time: 9:00 pm, Eastern Daylight Time (New York, GMT-04:00)

Counseling a husband whose wife has committed adultery and wants to leave the marriage

A husband’s wife committed adultery and is thinking about leaving her husband. The husband has been a neglectful leader in his home for many years, which is partial motivation for why she wants out of the marriage.

One of our Members is counseling this situation and is seeking help on how to proceed. Rick will have an interactive discussion with this Member to help him walk through this practical counseling situation. You can join us for this live webinar. You will be able to listen to the discussion, while asking questions along the way.

Topic: Town Hall – How to counsel a marriage splitting up
Date: Monday, May 20, 2013
Time: 9:00 pm, Eastern Daylight Time (New York, GMT-04:00)

How to Build a Ministry-Business

You can attend this live conference at no additional cost, plus it will be recorded and archived on our Webinar page so you can watch it at a later date. This is a two-hour webinar.

Rick will guide you through all the things the LORD has taught him on how to run a world-class ministry which is impacting the world with the Gospel. The webinar is practical. What kind of business should you have? How do you market your business? Tell me about revenue streams? Should I have a niche or broad ministry scope? And more… This webinar is free to all Members.

Topic: How to build a ministry
Date: Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Time: 8:00 pm, Eastern Daylight Time (New York, GMT-04:00)

How to Build a Small Group Life Dynamic

This webinar will take you behind the scenes of small group life. Rick has been leading small groups for the past ten years and will reveal some of the things he does to make small group life a sanctification context among friends who want to mature in Christ for the glory of God and the mutual benefit of others.

Topic: How to Build a Small Group Life Dynamic
Date: Thursday, May 23, 2013
Time: 9:00 pm, Eastern Daylight Time (New York, GMT-04:00)

Note – These webinars are for Members of The Counseling Solutions Group, Inc. Click learn about membership. Go to the membership site to pre-register. You must pre-register in order to attend.

photo credit: Matthew Clark Photography & Design via photopin cc

Rick is doing five live webinars is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

If you’re over 40 years old and used to be cool, your mind immediately went back to James Taylor. If you’re under 40 and thought about James Taylor, then you’re still cool. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it. Let’s move on.

The preacher of Hebrews is a highly skilled writer who understands rhetoric as well as the art of persuasion. But more than this, the writer is also pastoral and encouraging.

This is exactly what you need when you’re down and discouraged. You need to be persuaded, pastored, and pointed to Jesus, the only One who can bring the ministering balm of grace to your soul.^[1]

Have you ever been discouraged? What about disappointed? How about depressed? If so, then my hope is for you to be motivated to take hold of the grace which only God provides. The go-to passage for this kind of help is here:

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. – Hebrews 4:14-16 (ESV)

The writer is painting a picture of Jesus for those who are hurting. What kind of picture do you have of Jesus? In this passage He is called a great high priest. This is not your average run-of-the-mill high priest. He’s a great high priest.

• The Greek word for priest is hiereus. (e-air-ros)
• The Greek word for high priest is archiereus. (ark-e-air-ros)
• The Greek word for a great high priest is archiereus megas. (ark-e-air-ros-megos)

You don’t just have a priest. You don’t just have a special priest. You have a super special priest–an archiereus megas priest. The person I’m appealing to you to run toward is not your average mediator. He’s a great high priest.

The rhetoric of the Hebrew writer was intentional and so is mine. Jesus is under-whelming and unsatisfying for many Christians because they do not clearly understand His job description.

These Christians will quickly turn to movies, food, porn, people, or meds, while never discerning the transformative power and extended grace the Savior is willing to give anyone who will humbly and confidently draw near to His throne.

And what makes Jesus our super special priest? As they say, “I’m glad you asked.” In the passage at hand, the writer gives us four powerful and convincing reasons we should come to Jesus with confidence and expectancy of help in our time of need.

He has passed through the heavens

In the movie Apollo 13, Tom Hanks played Commander Jim Lovell, the ill-fated astronaut who led a team on an aborted moon landing. Once they realized landing on the moon was not an option, their new goal was to come back to earth.

There was a problem with re-entry, in that it had to be done correctly or their spacecraft would disintegrate due to the excessive heat. They did re-enter the atmosphere and made it home safely. One of the most powerful scenes in the movie was their re-entry.

They pierced the heavens and broke through the stratosphere and after a tense, longer than normal period of radio silence due to ionization blackout, the astronauts report all is well and splash down in the Pacific Ocean.^[2]

Here’s the powerful scene depicting the re-entry. This is what I think about when I read we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God. – Hebrews 4:14 (ESV)

To read the rest of this article, click megas to find it on our Member Site.

photo credit: Ahd Photography via photopin cc

1. ^[1] These are my sermon notes from a message preached at my church. I put them in a narrative format so you can apply personally as well as to serve others. You can listen to the sermon by clicking here and looking for the sermon preached on 05.05.13. ↩
2. ^[2] Wikipedia ↩

When you’re down. Need a friend. Call my name. I’ll be there. – Jesus is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

Written by Tracy Keen & Rick Thomas

“Help me, I’m Amanda Berry.”

With one frantic 911 call on Monday evening, three women missing for years were found in a Cleveland house where they had been held against their will by three brothers, police in Ohio said.

“I’ve been kidnapped,” Berry, who disappeared a decade ago, told the dispatcher. “I’ve been missing for 10 years and I’m out here. I’m free now.” (Read more here.)

These last few days have been difficult for me as I have reflected on this story. I was driving down the road when I first heard this wonderful news of the three young ladies who have escaped from being held captive for over ten years.

Before today, I had never even heard of these young women, but nonetheless, I was overjoyed for their escape. I cried tears of joy as I watched some of the news stories showing tearful reunions with family members.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. – Romans 12:15 (ESV)

I can’t begin to imagine the pain these girls have gone through or the pain their family members have had to experience all these years. Having your child snatched from you is something no parent ever wants to experience. Being the abductee, I imagine, is a nightmare with no equal.

Being in prison with them

Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. – Hebrews 13:3 (ESV)

As I heard the different stories circulating about these young women, I could not help but think about the privilege we have to enter into their suffering. I reflected, “What are some of the ways we can share in their pain?”^[1]

One thing is for sure, we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. But like many of you, a range of emotions can go through our minds when thinking about difficult situations like this.

What about anger? Is it alright to be angry with these men who committed this heinous crime? Certainly our anger has to be kept in check with righteous anger. Shouldn’t we have anger without crossing the lines of bitterness, hatred, rage, or murderous thoughts towards these men?

God is angry at the wicked and He speaks out against abuse and wrongdoing done to His creation (Psalm 7:11; Genesis 9:6). Because we know God is angry with these men, we can be angry, while guarding our hearts from sin.

How about speaking out against abuse? Can love be vocal about criminal activity? We should do what we can to speak out against such crimes. A great way to do this is by sharing the Gospel with the perpetrators as well as the victims of abuse.

People need to know God is a loving God. They also need to know He is a just and righteous God. He is our Judge and these men involved in this crime will stand before Him, just as all of us will (2 Corinthians 5:10).

We are all equal at the foot of the cross–the best of us and the worst of us. None of us are deserving of any grace or mercy which Christ extends to us (Romans 10:13; Ephesians 2:8-9).

The sins of the men who committed this crime are grievous indeed and they will be judged for their sin. These men need to hear the Gospel message just as much as you or I.

They need to know they will stand in judgment for their crimes because God will not let their sin go unpunished (Proverbs 11:21). They need to hear the good news, how the Father has already laid the punishment of their sin on Jesus. He needs to be the one to stand in their place.

These men must repent of their sins because ultimately, what they did to these women is a sin against a Holy God. Then there are the victims of abuse.

Further reading on abuse

• What are some signs of spiritual abuse from a pastor?
• Thinking biblically about spiritual abuse
• Thinking biblically about those who have been victimized by sexual abuse
• Listening to sexual abuse
• My teaching notes on a foster care parenting class I taught

The church needs to be aware of the many people who are affected every day by crimes like this. This list is long. Those kidnapped and abused, the parents of the abused, the siblings, grandparents, family members, friends, neighbors, the raped and the molested, just to name a few. These people have feelings of guilt, regret, anger, and such which must be dealt with in a way that is helpful.

We can enter into the prison of their hurt by praying with them and for them. Helping them to separate their righteous anger from their sinful anger. Showing them how their lives can be put back together after such a painful tragedy. Assisting them in letting go of their bitterness towards God and towards others involved.

The lost victims

Sometimes with stories of abuse, there are those who go unnoticed. I’m thinking of the family members of the abuser. The pain a family member feels when they find out a relative has committed a heinous crime is real and devastating.

These people are sometimes left picking up the pieces of their shattered lives as they now have a family member spending the rest of their life in prison.

Families are torn apart and left with no help because they were related to the abuser. This is an amazing grace-exalting privilege to enter into the suffering of these nameless victims.

Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?

And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ – Matthew 25:37-40 (ESV)

Reflecting on my abuse (Tracy)

The Bible is sufficient and is the only hope for the abused, the abuser, and others affected by the abuse (2 Peter 1:3-4). God’s Word stands on its own and has the power to convict and redeem people. It also has the power to heal the broken.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. – Luke 4:18-19 (ESV)

I know this to be true because without God intervening into my own life, I would never have been able to come out from under the cloud which was over me as a result of the abuse I suffered as a child.

I speak to both sides of this Cleveland story in hopes all those who are affected by abuse can know there is hope. I speak as one who has been abused and one who has been a relative of an abuser.

Since my abuser was an extended family member, I had to watch the pain and guilt my parents and siblings experienced as a result of the abuse. I have aunts and uncles who had to deal with their feelings of guilt as they wished they could have done something to prevent it.

I have had to struggle to separate myself from the abuse done to me and see my own sinful heart–as a person in need of God’s grace regardless of the abuse.

Seven years ago, I repented of my sins, not the sins of my abuser. Because of the freedom of forgiveness my LORD gave to me, I was able to forgive my abuser and even share the Gospel with him (Matthew 18:32-33).

He died a lost man, but I am free from the bitterness I once held towards him. I have also prayed for those who were affected by the abuse, that they would let go of their anger and guilt.

The long road to freedom, after prison

I know the road for these young women will be tough, but I also know the church which preaches the Gospel and relies on the sufficiency of Scripture has the answer to these problems, these evils.

These women may have struggles and difficulties which will follow them for years, but God has a miraculous solution for such things as this. The Gospel is extended to anyone who wants to partake of its goodness (1 Peter 2:1-3).

My prayer for these beautiful, strong young women is for their physical and spiritual transformation. For them to be made whole by the hand of God. I pray if they are not believers already, they will be able to one day separate themselves from the evil done to them and be able to repent of their own sin.

If any of them is a believer, I pray they will be able to forgive their abusers and move beyond the hurt done to them so they can help others (2 Timothy 2:2).

Finally, I pray for all those involved, that they may get Biblical counseling for the long road ahead of them. Since most of you will not be able to help these women, ask the Father how you can enter into their prison with them (Hebrews 13:3).

For further reading

• Revenge: when evil comes to you
• The reason I stopped hating my dad
• I got angry at my daughter the other day

1. ^[1] I’m not sure if these ladies are believers, but it seems prudent to think about how to enter into the abuse of others, whether they are our brothers and sisters or not. It’s a partial fulfillment of the two great commandments (Matthew 22:36-40). ↩

Practical thoughts on how to enter into the prison of a person’s pain is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

The Father’s Ranch Ministries is a nouthetic residential treatment center for women and teenage girls, a non-denominational, Christ-centered counseling ministry in Tonasket, Washington.

Incorporated in 1999, they provide a 6 to 18-month residential program for women in trouble, with a transitional, open-ended Next Steps program following.

They serve women and teenage girls from all over the United States who are struggling with destructive, life-controlling issues such as drug-addictions, alcoholism, sexual/pornography addiction, depression, anxiety, abuse issues, rebellion, and eating disorders.

The Father’s Ranch seeks to help young ladies make life-long changes which will be a blessing to them, to those who love them, and most importantly, to bring glory to God.

They have several long-term staff members (all NANC certified) who live at the ranch and serve the women and girls full-time. They also have short-term openings (Internships) for women who are interested in gaining ministry experience.

NANC certification is not a requirement for an Internship. Interns typically serve between six to twelve months, but three-month summer internship are also available.

If you’re interested in The Father’s Ranch and would like more information, please email us here.

Counselor Interns wanted for The Father’s Ranch is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

If you are a pastor or discipler of the Gospel, more than likely you have come across a person who has been hurt in their life, and I mean hurt. This kind of hurt can take years to overcome and sometimes leave lasting emotional, spiritual, and physical reminders of what happened to them.

Let me tell you the story of Jennifer. Her parents divorced when she was young and she was left in the care of her mother who had a temper. Jennifer’s mom had a tight hold on Jennifer and would often resort to slapping and yelling in order to get Jennifer back in line.

During her time in high school, she had a low view of herself and her body image so she resorted to bulimia as a quick fix for her weight problem. When Jennifer’s father left, he left for good but an uncle in the family attempted to fill the void in Jennifer’s life.

His way of filling the void was more for his selfish sexual desires than for the welfare of his niece. When Jennifer was old enough to move out, she was more than ready to leave and she moved in with her boyfriend, Mark.

Eventually Jennifer and Mark married but mostly because she was pregnant with their first child. When she brought home her new baby, she noticed a change in her husband. That’s when the domestic violence charges were filed.

At her end, Jennifer decided to join a church. At the church, she was told how much Jesus loved her and how He wanted to save her. Jennifer decided her life was about as broken as it could ever be because of things people had done to her.

She decided to try Jesus to see if He could somehow fix the mess in her life. Fast forward a few years and Jennifer has now turned her back on the faith and is more hateful toward God than she has ever been.

The ambiguous soul

Even though this story is fictional, it is taken from a composite of what some of your friends are currently experiencing. There are people like Jennifer who are hurting so much they just don’t think they can make it through one more day.

The sins of others have worn them down and they are so broken they don’t believe their life can ever be put back together. They may turn away from the faith for good or they may turn cold in their hearts but still remain part of a local church.

So what does a minister of the gospel do for a person like this? Before we can answer that question, we must ask another one:

What kind of brokenness is it that Scripture speaks of which leads to salvation?

To read the rest of this article, click abused to find it on our Member Site.

For further reading

• What are some signs of spiritual abuse from a pastor?
• Thinking biblically about spiritual abuse
• Thinking biblically about those who have been victimized by sexual abuse
• Listening to sexual abuse
• My teaching notes on a foster care parenting class I taught

photo credit: lism. via photopin cc

How to counsel the abused by going beyond the abuse is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

Biblical discernment is a huge issue for anyone who wants to care for another person. Anytime you’re discipling someone you have to make judgment calls about the person you’re discipling. There is no way around this truth.

All good disciple-makers have to be comfortable with making these kinds of judgment calls. Are you comfortable making judgments about the people you’re discipling?^[1]

If you want to help any person mature in Christ, then assessing them for who they really are is part of the process. Initial and ongoing assessments is essential in soul care. This begs the question,

“What if I make a misjudgment?” You will. There is no question you’ll get it wrong from time to time.

Jesus was constantly making judgment calls about people. Of course, His judgments were sure and true. Never making a mistake is a plus, but you and I are not a perfect replication of Christ. We will miss on our assessments from time to time, but that’s okay. Simply admit you missed it and continue developing the relationship.

Making a mistake in a relationship is an excellent opportunity to build deeper into the relationship. The folks I build the deepest with are the ones who are humble enough to allow me to misjudge and even sin against them. Their humility governs their forgiveness and, in spite of my mistakes, we become closer friends.

Though I am fallible, I must not stop trying to discern the people I am discipling. If I do stop discerning because of my fear of making a mistake, then my care for them will be weakened.

Discipling others requires the illuminating work of the Holy Spirit. He must help us understand the people we’re discipling. This means one of my constant prayers when caring for others is:

Dear Father, help me to understand this person. Help me to see what I am not seeing. Open up my eyes of discernment so I can hear, see, and discern this person accurately. I want to care for them exactly the way you would. Therefore, I need your assistance in understanding them. Help me to know them accurately.

If you don’t seek to assess who they really are, then your care could easily miss the mark. I’m talking biblical discernment. You gotta have it. You gotta ask for it.

In its simplest definition, discernment is nothing more than the ability to decide between truth and error, right and wrong. Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions in our thinking about truth. In other words, the ability to think with discernment is synonymous with an ability to think biblically. – John MacArthur

MacArthur is saying we must be able to filter the person we are observing through the lens of Scripture and what we see through that lens is how we are to think about them. Let the Bible be your guide.

Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth. – John 17:17 (ESV)

• Do you see with biblical eyes?
• Are you able to accurately label what you are observing regarding another person?
• Can you carefully and compassionately help them to see what you are observing?

What are his God-given limits?

While there are many variables to people, when it comes to trying to figure them out, I want to speak to just one of those variables. That is a person’s competency or ability, capacity, and pre-determined-by-God ceiling. Every person has a ceiling.

No person is omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent. If you want to help them, you must discern them according to how they have been made by God.

To read the rest of this article, click judging to find it on our Member Site.

Also read I’m a hypocrite and I can judge you.

photo credit: Kalexanderson via photopin cc

1. ^[1] If you are a member of our site, please search for the article “I’m a hypocrite and I can judge you” in order to read more about the misuse of Matthew 7:1-5 regarding judging others. ↩

You must be willing to judge people if you’re going to help people is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

In America, I am the person who is still able to freely come and go, but I am finding myself under more scrutiny. When I made my announcement of who I am now, I sometimes lose friends or the approval of family members.

Lately, I am finding myself on the end of a lot of hate speech and political injustices. I am frequently called names like bigot, spiritual rapist, homophobe etc…  When I stand up for who I am, I am mocked, laughed at, censored, and hated.

In some arenas, I have people who want to put me out of business, court-martial me, or prevent my freedom to worship whom I choose. I attempt to announce who I am but often times am censored and told to be quiet.

If you find me in the Middle East, I am the person who is struggling to find work to support my family. My family has been threatened over and over again with their lives. I no longer have a place to go to worship because it has been blown up and is in ruins.

I am the woman who knows that true beauty really does come from the inside as my outside has been permanently scarred by an acid attack. My family lives life from day-to-day in the hopes of making it through the day alive and not being poisoned by my extended family members.

In parts of Africa, I am the man who has had his legs crushed when my neighborhood was attacked. I am the widow who is struggling to feed my children as my husband was recently murdered.

I am the child who has known no other life than one filled with war and living the life of a refugee. I am the son who will struggle for my existence as I was nailed to some boards being left for dead.

In parts of South America, I live in a safe house with my children. My wife has been murdered and my children are under threat. My extended family has forsaken me and I have no means of support for my children. My government seems to offer more protection for drug lords than for my children.

In parts of Asia, I am the nameless face hiding out in a secret building waiting for either other believers or my captors to come. I am the man who has not seen his family in years because they don’t even know I exist anymore behind the walls of my cell.

I am the woman who has been forced to abort or give up my children because of government rules. I am the daughter who is recovering in a safe house after being given over to the sex trade.

I would love to come out and proclaim who I am. I have no closets to come out of and will receive no praise for who I am or who I follow.

But if I could come out from behind the doors of my cell, from behind the censorship of my government, out from the hatred being daily cast at me, I would humbly announce who I am…a believer in the one true God and a worshiper of His son, Jesus Christ.

And I would urge you to repent and join me in following Him even if it means you too will fall under persecution. So President Obama, sir, where’s my phone call?

From the editor

The title of this article is a take on an article from Grantland.Com by Wesley Morris–Brittney Griner and the Quiet Queering of Professional Sports. Last week NBA player Jason Collins became the first high-profile sport’s star to come out of the closet by announcing he is gay. It has been speculated for many months that a professional athlete would make such an announcement.

The sports world and the culture at large applauded his decision to come forward to reveal his sexual orientation. Him doing so does not bother me so much as the ballyhoo made over his public decision. As Tracy points out it’s okay to be gay, but to be a Christian places you and your beliefs at risk.

President Obama and former President Clinton called Collins, celebrating with him. Another interesting note to his coming out was how it quickly became a non-story. This is a radical departure from how the gay lobby has pushed their agenda in the past (loud, harsh, and aggravated) and I think it is savvy on their part.

This quiet queerfication of America was successful by all accounts. They quickly celebrated and moved on to the next thing as though it was not a big deal. They treated it as normal and expected. Their lack of ongoing commentary hardly stirred up any opposition and their celebrated right to be gay made it feel very normal.

For further reading

• Why you should make friends with a homosexual
• Should Christians politically oppose the gay lobby?
• The gay guy said, “I was born this way.”

Accounts taken from true stories of believers all over the world. More information about the persecuted church can be found at:

• www.persecution.com
• www.gfa.org
• www.chinaaid.org

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The Quiet Queerification of America is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

You ever played “whack-a-mole” at an amusement center? It’s one of those games where plastic moles randomly pop-up while you try to whack them with a rubber mallet before they retreat back into their holes.

You never know when or where one will pop up. As soon as you knock one down, another one jumps up. It’s a picture of our hearts. Just when you beat one idol down, another one pops up to take it’s place.

John Calvin has been attributed with saying our hearts are like idol factories. My friend, Marc, would agree. He had a secret porn addiction for nearly three decades.

Through a series of providential circumstances his sin was found out by his boss. Marc was humbled by being exposed and repented of his sin. Mercifully, his boss decided not to fire him.

He did appeal to Marc to let his wife and pastor know what went down. Marc followed through with his request. After speaking with his pastor he decided to seek counseling, which he also followed through my attending bi-weekly sessions.

During the counseling Marc continued to show evidences of repentance. He put Covenant Eyes on his computer, as well as his other devices. He gave his wife all his passwords and full access to all his tech endeavors. He joined a men’s group at his church.

Marc was hitting all the right marks and his porn addiction began to wane. After about six weeks of counseling Marc shared how he was gaining weight. His counselor had already observed this, but did not bring it to Marc’s attention.

Looking in the idol factory

Marc’s admission did open a door for the counselor to have a deeper conversation about matters of the heart. He began by encouraging him about the behavioral changes he had made (Matthew 5:30), but did note how his repentance was not complete.

With great care and accountability Marc was freeing himself from the behavioral addiction to porn. The deeper issue was him not addressing the root cause of the porn addiction.

His counselor had been hoping to get into this discussion because he knew if Marc did not deal with his heart he would do one of two things:

1. He would revert back to looking at porn some time in the future.
2. He would seek to satisfy his secret desires through other means.

Satisfying his rogue desires through other means is what was going on in Marc’s life. He had essentially swapped his external idol–porn–for food. What Marc did not understand was how this hidden idol of the heart was still alive and affecting him.

External idols like porn, eating, alcohol, watching too much TV, shopping, or exercise can have the same insidious root cause. They can be God substitutes, designed to bring relief to a person whose heart is not finely tuned by the LORD.

To read the rest of this article, click idols to find it on our Member Site.

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Idol Swapping – I stopped looking at porn, but gained 30 pounds is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.

I have a building on Woodruff Road, Greenville, SC, which has 8 offices I’d like to rent to interested ministry leaders and churches.

We have 8 offices to rent. Some of the amenities include 2 kitchens, 2 large training rooms, 4 restrooms, wi-fi, and more.

The building is just off I-385, across from Walmart. Perfect location. If interested, email me at RickThomasNet@Me.Com.

Rick Thomas has been training and counseling in the Upstate of South Carolina since 1997.

After several years as a counselor and pastor he founded and launched his own Christian training organization in order to assist Christians around the world regarding a better understanding and practice of Christian discipleship.

In the early ’90’s he earned a BA in Theology. Later he earned a BS in Education. In 1993 he was ordained into Christian ministry and in 2000 he graduated with a MA in Counseling. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow with a nationally recognized counseling group.

Today his organization represents clients in over 90 countries as well as all 50 states through his consulting, training, blogging, and coaching.

Office Space for rent with The Counseling Solutions Group, Inc. is a post from Christian counselor Rick Thomas.