Dear Santa

As Christmas is fast approaching I have started thinking about preparations for the festive season. Gift buying is, of course, at the top of my mind. With two children to buy for and a vast array of requests for what they want, I have been thinking about the true of meaning of gifts and what I consider to be reasonable in terms of what you might give to my children.
You see Santa, I have been struggling a little bit with some of the gifts that I know that you present to other children. So I have a request – it is quite a simple one. Is it possible to limit the ‘value’ of the gifts that you so kindly bestow on all of the good children in this world? In case you are puzzled by my request let me explain.

I try to keep my children’s requests to yourself fairly simple and not too expensive. Don’t get me wrong – I am not miserly. I love to get my children nice things and sometimes I can be guilty over indulging. I do try to refrain from buying them too much but sometimes I probably say yes a little too often. However I have no control over what other children are given – especially when it is a present from your good self.

So what is my problem? Well, it comes down to the inequity that sometimes seems to exist. I don’t want to criticise you too much. You do an awesome job. But some of the Santa gifts that my kids friends get seem a little excessive. And frankly I find it annoying.

I am not saying that my kids are perfect – I only wish! But I have always tried to keep their requests to yourself ‘reasonable’. A gift that is not too expensive or too large but enough to say ‘you have been good this year’. You might recall that when my daughter was almost two her request that Christmas was ‘pink ice cream’. That was it. Nothing else. And you very kindly obliged. She was so excited on Christmas morning you would have thought that she had won a toy shop for Christmas.
A few years ago my son, then aged 3 asked for a book on dinosaurs. Just one book. And again you happily obliged. His delight that Santa had thought him to be good enough to get what he had asked for was intoxicating.

But things have changed. As my children have gotten older they have noticed that some of their friends receive gifts from Santa that are substantially better than theirs. This has become more obvious when they tell me that they are going to request the same thing from Santa – if their friends requests are being rewarded then why shouldn’t theirs? Not too unreasonable in the scheme of things.

Last year one of my daughters friends asked you for an iPhone for Christmas. She must have been EXCEPTIONALLY good. There, under the tree, on Christmas morning, was the beautiful iPhone that she had asked for. Bravo Santa! I think that I might start believing in Santa again!

So this year my daughter is asking for a new iPhone – and not the basic one. An iPhone 7, rose gold, 128gb etc etc (I cannot actually remember all the details – I am happy to just have a basic one). She is really hoping that she has been good enough to receive her one request.

Seriously! This is ridiculous. Go for the KISS principle – Keep It Simple Santa! Stop over-indulging! My children do not need to get something expensive that they have not actually worked for and therefore have not earned. Just being good is not enough. I don’t want to judge other peoples children but the same principle should apply. I am not trying to criticise you – I am trying to make your life easier. And mine too, I guess.

So when you are out and about talking to children, remind that there are many other children in this world that are far less fortunate than them on a daily basis and that their requests should bear this in mind. Perhaps children could do something for other children that are less fortunate as a way of paying-it-forward. Even a way of earning their Christmas gift.
I just ask for consideration in this matter…..

Warm regards

The mother of 2 children

PS I don’t really want anything for Christmas – but if there is some magic potion that you could deliver that would give me two perfectly behaved children for the next 365 days I would be eternally grateful.

Turn Your Failures into Success – A Practical Guide

As a working mum, one of the things that I often find the hardest to achieve is time for myself. However I try to make a point of having some time out almost every day and I do this by reading books that are of personal interest to me. Often I will read for half an hour prior to going to sleep at night and more often than not I will read something to motivate, inspire and re-energise myself mentally. This helps to give my mind something to work on while my body is resting to help refocus myself for the next day.
Being a work-from-home mum I find this especially important because I am my sole motivator and my time is limited. Making the best use of my time every day is critical to be able to achieve my goals – especially the one to spend more quality time with my family. Working on my mindset is just as important as any other skill that I may need to improve or fine tune.
Recently I came across a book that grabbed my attention because of the title. The title was not the usual positive “How to succeed…”, ‘How to be Positive…”, 7 steps to a Greater You…’ etc etc. This one stood out because it said “Why People Fail”. The title is deliberate.
This book explores the 16 key ways in which people set themselves up for failure. It is written by Siimon Reynolds and is based upon his many years of studying all of the areas that he discusses. Often with examples of his own personal experience. They are so easy to relate to. And gives you great ideas for addressing these ‘failings’ without overwhelming you with a lot of mumbo-jumbo. This book provides an easy to understand, practical approach to working on the keys areas that might be holding you back from great success.
I would highly recommend this book – I regularly refer to it when I find that I am slipping off course or losing focus.

You can get your copy by clicking on the link below.

I will not be winning any parent of the year awards. The Tooth Fairy is going to report me and there will forever be a black mark against my name. As a working mum I should be in the running but that has now been completely obliterated.

My son lost a tooth last week.  He was so excited that the tooth fairy was coming and she would leave him some money in return his front tooth that took ages to come out. He proudly left his tooth next to the bed and duly went off to sleep.  During the night (4:30am) jsut as the sun was about to rise he came into my room. I suddenly realised that I hadn’t told the toth fairy that she needed to pay a visit.  So I snuck out of bed, took the tooth and left him his reward.  Phew! Disaster averted!

One week later my daughter lost a tooth that had been giving her pain in the process of falling out and she had found it difficult to eat.  Finally the tooth fell out at school and she was so happy.  She carefully placed the tooth in a jewelry case (the tooth fairy much prefers that!) and left it beside her bed.  The next morning I was eating my breakfast and heard this horrible sound – it was my daughter.  She was distraught. Devastated. Inconsolable. The Tooth Fairy had somehow forgotten her!  How could that happen?  It was a personal blow.

I was speechless. How do you explain the Tooth Fairy not coming?

I had to tell her that perhaps the tooth fairy had just been very busy that night and she would probably come tonight.  It wasn’t working.  She had been forgotten and that was enough for her to feel that somehow she wasn’t special.

Eventually she went back to her room to get ready for school. Two minutes a later a very different girl came running to me. “Mum! I went back to my room and there was $5 on my pillow!” “Well there you go” I said feeling totally relieved.  But how?  And then it dawned on me.  The Tooth Fairy had appeared in the form of a beautiful 7 year old boy. Her brother.

I snuck upstairs and there was my amazing boy in his bed. I went up to him and quietly asked him if he had put the money on her pillow.  He nodded.  Then I noticed that there were tears in his eyes. He quietly whispered, “I felt so sorry for her that the Tooth Fairy had forgotten her so I gave her some of my money.” I wanted to cry. How incredible was this boy. I asked him if we could just keep it quiet for now so that his sister could go to school and feel that she hadn’t been forgotten.  Tonight I was sure that the tooth fairy was definitely going to come and she would get some money from the tooth and he would get his money back.  I told him that I was very proud of him and he was a wonderful brother to his sister.

He then went to his sister to explain to her that he had almost missed out the week before.  When he gotten up in the morning (at 4:30am) the tooth fairy had not yet been and because the sun was starting to rise he thought that she forgotten him.  When he then went back to his room at 6:30am the tooth was gone and he had been rewarded.  He said that the Tooth Fairy must have been very busy that night and was probably very busy last night. He was sure she would come tonight.

I still feel really bad about this. I was lucky enough that my son saved the day.  As a busy working Mum I often go to bed exhausted. And sadly sometimes I will forget the important things (important to my children). Perhaps if I still believed in the Tooth Fairy she may just have turned up last night!  Perhaps it pays to believe.

I have always struggled with the idea that anger is a bad emotion.  Our emotions seem to get categorised as good and bad.  A happy emotion are considered good and an unhappy emotion are somehow considered bad.

Labelling anger as a bad emotion suggests that it is not okay to get angry.  Somehow we are supposed to keep these ‘bad’ emotions in check. Throughout our lives we are consistently told: ”Don’t get angry”, “Don’t be angry”, “Stop being angry”, “Life’s too short to be angry”.

Emotions can be categorised into 6 main types which can then be categorised as ‘good’ and ‘bad’. Happy, Excited and ‘Tender’ are considered the ‘good’ emotions.  Whilst ‘Sad’, ‘Scared’ and ‘Angry’ fall under the supposed ‘Bad’ category.  Sometimes these ‘bad’ emotions are required as our very survival might depend upon it. Dealing with anger is important.

So why is it that Anger, in particular, is considered a ‘bad’ emotion?  In the main Anger is the one emotion that can, very immediately, bring out the worst reaction in people.  It is the behaviour that is displayed that is considered ‘bad’. Unfortunately this often means that being angry is considered undesirable.  The thing is, if we don’t deal with our anger then we don’t release the energy created and this wells up inside of us.  Eventually this well fills to the top and overflows.  When it does the results can be disastrous.

As a mother I want to make sure that I raise my children to be honest, respectful and decent individual’s. I also want them to be able to express themselves without fear of retribution.  Being able to do this is vital.  It is the manner in which this is done that determines the outcome.  I have always been of the belief that everyone has the right to get angry.

Dealing with Anger

My son is a sweet, loving, kind and thoughtful little boy.  He is generally a very very happy child. Most days he comes home from school exclaiming “Today was awesome. It was the best day ever!’ he is smart, articulate and very funny.  He also gets very angry.  Sometimes too easily.  When he gets angry he lashes out. I have always tried to make sure that he knows that it is ok to be angry but not ok to lash out at people.  But what I needed was to find a way to allow him to release this energy and frustration without be afraid of getting into trouble.  Solution? The cushion.

You are probably thinking “What the?” What does a soft, comfortable cushion have to do with dealing with anger?  Everything!

The Cushion

One day I took my son aside and gave him a cushion.  This cushion is a seat cushion on a lounge that resides in the front room of our house.  We don’t actually use this room much so I decided that this would be a great place for my son to go to as safe zone away from where the rest of us normally spend most of our time.  I told my son that I was giving him this cushion and when he got angry and felt like lashing out he was to go to the cushion and was allowed to punch and hit this cushion as much as he needed to.  He was not going to get into trouble for doing this. Nobody was going to get angry at him for doing this.  He looked at me like I was crazy!  Since when was he allowed to hit and punch something and not get into trouble?  Since the cushion came into his life.

At that point I told him to try out has anger cushion.  Initially he was reluctant.  I am sure he was thinking that this must some kind of practical joke!  Eventually he cupped his hand into a fist and started hitting the cushion.  I told him to hit harder.  I also told him to yell at the cushion. Poor kid.  I am sure he was thinking “One minute I am being told don’t yell, don’t hit and  don’t punch” and now she is telling me do it as much as I want.  Anyway he went for it. It was almost hilarious to watch.  That poor cushion totally copped it. He is very animated at the best of times and was especially so at that moment.  Eventually he stopped.  He was huffing and puffing.  He looked at me and almost begged “Can I please stop now. I am exhausted.” Perfect! I told him “You’ve done well. Good on you.”

After this I reconfirmed to him that whenever he was angry and felt like he wanted to lash out at someone or something he was go to his cushion and take his anger out on it.  He would never get in trouble and would never be laughed at. “But what if I break it?” he asked, obvious fearful of what the consequences would be should this happen. “If it breaks I’ll give you a new one” I told him (I was looking for an excuse to get a new lounge suite anyway!).

A few days after that introduction to the cushion my son got very angry. Straight away I told him to go to the cushion.  He wanted to argue with me.  I told him to go to the cushion and let his anger out and then we could talk about what was upsetting him.  Off he went.  A couple of minutes later he came back to me calm and able to talk. “Thankyou, Mum” he said.  “I feel so much better.”

Its OK to be Angry – it’s a GOOD Emotion

And we haven’t looked back.  He is allowed to get angry.  He has a safe place to release anger.  And then we talk through the problem that made him angry in the first place.  He is much happier and is proud of himself that he actually now handles his anger much better.  Most of the time now, he doesn’t need to visit his cushion.  He knows he is not a bad child and that we are very proud of him.

The down side?  The cushion is still intact and I am not getting a new lounge suite!

Superwoman – The Modern Day Working Mum

Who is Superwoman?

As a modern day working Mum I have been on a quest. I am the mother of two primary school aged children. A wife to a man who has his own company which presents it owns demands and for which I do the bookkeeping. I am a housekeeper – I cook, clean, organise, plan ahead and keep the household on course. I work. I have a career as a Senior Executive and manage a team of people in a very demanding environment. The hours at times are horrendous (people in my office joke that I work until ‘stupid-o’clock’ most nights). I am a friend, a daughter, a sister etc. I do try to fit in social time amongst everything I need to get done. I also do a number of hours working from home on websites and writing blogs!

On a number of occasions I have had people label me a modern day superwoman – managing a workload of conflicting requirements whilst remaining composed and (apparently) in control. This phrase has been widely accepted as describing todays woman that works, raises a family, keep a house and attends to all the other needs of those around her. It would appear that it references the working mum over the past 15 years.

So. My quest? Who the hell is Superwoman really and does she actually exist? Is this who todays working mum actually is?
My search started by trying to understand who the original Superwoman actually was. Superwoman as an identity first appeared pre 1947 in a superman comic when Lois Lane dreamed that she gained super powers from a blood transfusion from Superman. So her super powers were the powers of her male counterpart, transferred. Not any powers in her own right or even from any substance (ie kryptonite) that she may have come in contact with.
Wikipedia gave me a fascinating history of superwoman as a comic book legend with super powers. Most of them were Amazons and had amazing powers of super strength and fight. Unfortunately it appears that in a lot of instances Superwoman would in fact lose her powers without them being regained – did this ever happen to Superman? Batman? Spiderman? Or any other male super heroes?

I also ascertained that sometimes Superwoman was a character that was not revered by those around her and was either considered a frigid (female dog) or a sexual deviant having an affair with a not so nice individual – would the modern day ‘Superwoman’ even have the time to think about the latter?

My next step was to consider the role of women over the ages. Although at times I feel that we have not necessarily progressed too far from the caveman days I did not particularly want to give that too much consideration. At least I am not getting dragged around by matted hair with some Neanderthal beating his chest to show his masculinity. The modern man has progressed somewhat, but it is probably women who developed so much further. So the next step for me was a reflection on one of the most amazing women in my life. My Mum.

When I look back on my childhood and the life my mother had it seems, on reflection, to be an easier life that I am now experiencing as a working Mum. Is this because my memories stem from those of a child with a much simpler view of the world? Or is there some degree of truth to this thinking and thus confirming that the modern day superwoman is not just some made up identity.

My mum raised 3 children. I am the youngest. When I was born my brother and sister were both under 5 years old. In itself, the raising of 3 children (initially all under the age of 5) is demanding. Consider the times. Washing machines were not automatic – you had to wash the clothes in the agitator, transfer them through a roller to squeeze the water out, transfer them back into the washer (now with clean water) to rinse them, put them back through the ringer and then hang them out on the line to dry. My Mum did not have a clothes dryer. She was the dishwasher. There was no reheating food in a microwave. There were no mobile phones. Shops were not open on the weekend. There were no computers. I am sure that you get the picture!

When we were all of school age my mother returned to work. My father had started his own business and work very long hours. My mother needed to supplement the income in the early years whilst my fathers business got up and running.
During this time my mother pretty much took care of everything. Our house was always immaculate – and still very much a welcoming home. Our clothes were handmade by our mother as were our cardigans and jumpers. Every Sunday my mother would bake – 3 separate items for us to have in our lunch box for school. Meals were cooked fresh every night – takeaway food was an occasional treat.

Roll forward to the 21st century and what is so different? What is the role of todays working mum? Nowadays we can outsource a myriad of tasks from our daily lives. Ironing, cleaning, childcare, cooking, etc. So why is it that we feel like we have less time and more demands on our lives than ever before? Why then has this ‘modern day Superwoman’ emerged and is this who we really want to be?

Computers, when they became a household item, were supposed to make our lives easier- and to some extent they have. Look around your house and think about that items are in fact “computerised’ (electronic) and provide automation to a previously labour intensive task. There are numerous examples. Even our cars these days are effectively controlled by a computer. Toys, cleaning and cooking appliances, communication devices, audio visual equipment etc has all become computerised. And to a large extent this has made our lives easier. So why would superwoman appear in real life form running the average household?
One thing that is definitely apparent is that the occupations that most working mums are now engaged in are careers – and often very demanding. All too often working a 38 hour week is a fantasy. 45 to 50 hours per week is probably an average. Often we are travelling further distances to get to our places of employment and battling traffic that has us stressed before we even arrive at our destination. Superwoman of course would probably be able to fly her way to work or would possibly have an invisible airplane like Wonder Woman (what a ridiculous concept!).
Computers did not actually make our jobs that much easier. In fact what they have done is opened up the opportunity to produce more complex work. Presentations, spread sheets, forms etc etc. The ability to produce more creates a demand and an expectation for more. Computers have made communicating easier but again this just gives the ability to communicate more, include more people, often on ridiculous and trivial matters, or on things that should really be handled in a face to face conversation. For all of the emails that I receive in my inbox every day at work, I am sure that 30 years ago no one in an office would have had that many conversations in day or even in a week! This barrage of communication can at times be somewhat overwhelming. But the modern day superwoman (working mum) apparently handles all of this will consummate ease.

The family. Another major facet of the modern day working mum’s life. When I reflected earlier on the life mother one thing that constantly came up in my mind was that she seemed to have more time available to her than I do. The introduction of demanding careers into our lives has certainly eaten away at the time we would (should) otherwise have available. My mother did not have to work past the standard hours and did not have to travel far to get to her place of employment. We are therefore left with less time available to us for ourselves and our families. But all of the tasks are still there and still have been done.

Children play a big part in where we spend our time. When I was growing up I participated in one extracurricular activity – gymnastics. This I would attend on one evening per week. The rest of my time was pretty my time and was spent playing with friends, reading, or just hanging out at home. When I look at the lives of my own children and their friends it is a very different picture. My children do a number of activities. My daughter does dancing several times a week, girls guides once a week. My son does karate twice a week, soccer or cricket twice a week (depending on the season). They both do swimming once a week, tennis once a week and tutoring once a week. All of this requires time on the part of my husband and myself – to organise and play chauffeur. This takes up a mountain of our time. I might add that my children do not actually do as many activities as many of their friends!
There are also the numerous birthday parties to attend (don’t even mention the time required to plan your own kids parties!), the play dates (my children’s socials lives are better than mine!) and attendance at the showcasing of the extracurricular activities throughout the year.

In between all of this there is cooking, cleaning, shopping etc. And the activity of planning all of this is HUGE!
So getting back to the Modern Day Superwoman. I kind of laugh (scoff) at this label. Apparently Superwoman got her powers from Superman – I don’t see that this happened with the modern day Superwoman. No offense to men (especially my own husband!) but they would not deal with the conflicting tasks that the modern day woman has to deal with. It is true. The majority of these tasks are handled by the Mum/Wife on a daily basis. It is enough sometimes to make your head spin around on your shoulders.

The label of modern day Superwoman also implies that there is something about these women that is not subject to failure or allowed to be subject to failure. We are after all human and subject to subject human failings. The point is that our point of failure takes far longer to reach than most modern day men and (luckily) many of us may never know that point. Placing the label of Modern Day Superwoman on someone suggests that they don’t need help and thereby gives the suggestion that help should perhaps not be asked for. You just have to cope.

But there is something pretty special about today’s Working Mum. I am not decided about whether or not I agree with the term Modern Day Superwoman. I guess she is pretty super. But I will for now just stick with the fact that my kids think that I am pretty awesome mum. My work colleagues are often in awe with how I cope with the demands of my life. In the words of my 6 year old son “You are the best mum I have ever had!” That’s enough for me!
Tell us. Who is the woman that you admire the most? Does superwoman actually exist?

]]> http://confessionsofaworkingmum.com/quick-easy-meal-options-for-work-at-home-mums/ Wed, 27 Jun 2012 00:59:18 +0000 http://confessionsofaworkingmum.com/?p=813

Work at Home Moms Need Easy Meal Options

Is that the pizza delivery person at the front door again? If you are a work at home mom, the answer is most likely yes. As you already know, most of your day is spent taking care of your family and your choice of at home work. Eating healthy may seem simple to do. However, when 5:00 pm rolls around and you have let the day get away with your working at the computer, going the easy route and calling out for dinner or popping a few hot dogs in the microwave seem like great options. Well, in the long run, this will only hurt your health and bank account. Happily, there are some things you can do to eat healthy that are quick and easy.

#1 – Never Skip Breakfast

That’s right, never. It is easy for a work at home mom to skip a meal especially when you are rushing around in the morning getting everyone ready for the day and making sure everyone eats his or her breakfast. Be sure you make time to eat as well. Also, if you go the cereal and milk route because it is fast and inexpensive, choose healthier options. For example, serve organic, naturally sweetened cereals with vanilla soy or almond milk instead of the sugary cereals and fatty whole milk. Another morning option is to make whole grain toast with a natural nut butter, such as almond or cashew. Look for Don’t forget to throw in some fruit like grapes, bananas, or oranges as well. look for low GI options that will give you energy for longer.

#2 – Make it a Big Lunch

Your meals in the earlier part of the day should always be larger than dinner. This is because many people go to bed shortly after eating dinner, which can lead to poor digestion and a restless night’s sleep. Try making a basic whole grain pasta salad ahead of time so you have it for the coming week. Then you can add things to the salad, such as tuna, chicken, diced vegetables, and so on. In winter an option for easy meals is cooking in a slow cooker.  Ingredients can be prepared in the morning and the slow cooker takes care of the cooking during the day. This is fantastic for a busy work at home mom and there is minimal cleaning up after dinner!   Don’t be afraid to serve yourself a larger portion than normal. You should feel full, but not stuffed. Be sure to make at least 20 to 30 minutes during the day for exercise as well. Working out just before bedtime will also make it hard to sleep well and sleep is vital to your and your family’s health.

#3 – Have a Very Modest Dinner

As mentioned earlier, you do not have to go all out on dinner. In fact, it is healthier if you don’t. Keep things on hand, such as frozen fish filets as they thaw and cook very fast. Also, fish such as Tilapia is very inexpensive. You can throw a tilapia, instant brown rice, and frozen green pea dinner together in about 20 minutes. You can have this made and ready to eat before any pizza could be delivered; plus it is healthier.

New Home Office Computer – Keep Your Client’s Specifications in Mind

When you have been hired on as a work at home professional, your employer, or contract holder will have specific needs as far as computer speeds, year, processor, platform, RAM, and so on. Therefore, it may be best to wait until you have been contracted before you purchase a new computer for your home office. This means a certain brand may not comply with their needs, because each manufacturer tends to use different brands and types of processors and platforms. Rushing into a new PC purchase is a common mistake my many work at home moms.

All-in-one Verses Separate Home Office Machines

Most of the time an all-in-one office machine is the only equipment you will need outside of your PC, but again, you much meet your contract specifications. Your employer may want you to have a separate fax line with a stand along fax, because you will be getting a lot of faxes throughout the day as part of your job function. The same can be true with a scanner. You may be required to turn around and scan paperwork in while you are receiving faxes. If you have an all-in-one fax/copier/scanner, you would not be able to fulfill your job duties properly. As mentioned above, it is a good idea to wait before you purchase the big pieces of home office equipment.

As a new work at home mom, you are probably wondering what you can buy right now. Well, go ahead and get everything else set up how you want it so that way you will only have to set up your new PC and other office machine or machines. Also, do not forget to purchase extra supplies for them; it is never fun to run out in the middle of a project.

]]> http://confessionsofaworkingmum.com/o-is-for-opportunity/ Tue, 26 Jun 2012 01:48:38 +0000 http://confessionsofaworkingmum.com/?p=808 If you are a beginner in the work at home field, there are plenty of opportunities for moms. You can start your own business, become a freelance writer, data entry work, customer service work, virtual assistance positions, sales, and much more. Being a work at home mommy does not consist of stuffing envelopes or paying someone to get to make earrings or doll hair anymore. They work industry has changed and more and more businesses are looking to fill their needs with personal outside of the office.  This has opened a whole new world of opportunity for many moms to feel like they can have it all; the time with their family and a successful career. Below are some of the opportunities available to you.

Own Your Own Business

There are literally hundreds of home businesses you can start with little to no money to start. For example, starting your own freelance writing business will require almost no investment money especially if you already have a home computer and a laptop. You will need to sign up to several websites to promote yourself and create a site to send potential clients. There are plenty of free places online that you can do both for free. Also, companies like some of the makeup and kitchenware make it easy to get started and with only a small investment. If you love to cook and host parties, catering is another business they is quick and only requires a small investment.

Selling Your Time

If you have a clerical background in the work place, this may be for you. There are many opportunities for work at home moms to sell their time by doing jobs such as data entry, inbound and outbound customer service, website monitoring, and even sales.

Freelance Your Skills

Many work at home mothers choose to begin by dong freelance work like writing, photography, and/or web design. There are tons of online companies looking to hire on freelancers to fill these positions. Some need ghost writers on a book, some articles and blog posts, while other sites are looking talented designers to create websites.

If you have at least one talent or skill, you can market it to payoff for you as a work at home mom. Most women have far more; therefore, it is never a problem to find their niche in this emerging and expanding industry. The opportunities are only going to continue to expand and grow.

]]> http://confessionsofaworkingmum.com/secrets-to-a-healthy-marriage/ Tue, 26 Jun 2012 01:44:53 +0000 http://confessionsofaworkingmum.com/?p=805 For any married couple that has been together longer than a few years know it takes work to have a happy and healthy marriage. Even if you married your soul mate, there are still going to be times you wish you had never met them. All the cute idiosyncrasies that you once loved and thought were so cute and endearing, will begin to get on your every nerve. Some days you may even contemplate ending the marriage. However, with the help of a few secrets to keep your marriage healthy from others who have been there, you too can have a long happy marriage.

Never Go Away or to Bed Angry

This one you have probable heard before. The reason this is important to a healthy marriage is because you both are not leaving an issue to fester and blow up into a huge argument later. Always working out any issue before you go to sleep or storm out of the door in anger is very important, because it keeps the communication open and flowing. However, if an argument turns ugly and the actual issue is no longer being discussed, then stepping away for five minutes to take a breath and get a drink of water is acceptable.

Don’t Be Afraid of PDA

Public displays of affection (PDA) is one of the first this to go in a marriage. This can lead the other party to feel like you are ashamed to be in public with them. You do not have to have a full make out session in the movie theater or the park, but simply holding hands in unity for the world to see can say volumes to your partner.

Try to Never Call Your Spouse Anything You Would Not Call Your Child

One of the quickest ways to build resentment is with word daggers. During a heated argument, it may feel good in the moment to call your loved one a bad name or say how much they disgust you, but then everything calms down you both are going to be left with the hurtful words  still ringing your ears. There is nothing wrong with healthy arguments, but name calling and denigrating each other only makes matters worse. If you feel the urge to resort to this tactic in order to make a point in an argument, you can probably bet there is nothing of real substance to be fighting about in the first place. The best thing to do in that moment is step back and just have a good laugh at yourselves.

]]> http://confessionsofaworkingmum.com/the-best-work-at-home-tips/ Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:52:04 +0000 http://confessionsofaworkingmum.com/?p=747 Okay, so you have made the plunge and you are working at home finally. So where do you go from here? I wanted to go through some of the best tips for working at home and getting your life on track, while your office is sitting in your home.

Schedule: One of my best tips is trying to get into some sort of schedule. You do not have to have a perfect schedule and not even one that you do every day, but you should at least be consistent with everything you do each day.  If you have kids, then they need some type of consistency. Making sure they eat around the same time and take a nap at the same time each day will really help everyone stay calm throughout the day. Kids love knowing what they are doing next.

Keep the area clean: While you are working at home, it is so easy to let your home slide. I try and clean a little bit everyday as well. On the other end of the spectrum, you cannot expect to have a perfect home with nothing wrong with it. Working at home will never allow you to have the perfect life, but it will help you have a more flexible life. Try cleaning for 30-60 minutes each day and seeing how much you can truly get done, it will be encouraging to see. Plus a little challenge is nice as well.

Get out: It’s important to get out and talk to real people. Some of us spend so much time online that it’s hard to get out and meet real people. Even if you go to the grocery store or the library, you should still go that way you can make a little more sense of your life. If you are only talking to your kids and online friends each day, then it’s really time to branch out.

Have a mentor: A mentor is a great tool to have when working at home. A mentor can help you with any questions you have and can be an all around good friend. It’s important to have someone teach you the ropes while you learn all of this work at home stuff. It’s not too hard to ask someone to be your mentor, but one is not bound to fall on your lap either.