Hey there gorgeous reader! I’m back after a frazzled few months of milestone birthdays, long distance trips and busy business type stuff.

Last time we spoke, I was telling you about Princess Natasha and her 18^th birthday celebrations. She is now a grown woman although to meet her you would dispute the fact.

Natasha Jade likes to assert her somewhat bizarro opinion about society on everyone. For example, she will suggest to shoe store owners they should have baby shoes in adult sizes (because why should babies get to wear all the cute stuff?) and she is a firm believe that people over the age of 18 should be allowed to ride on those $2 kids rides in malls. Fair enough too!

Natasha truly is an individual. Independent, warm, funny and unique and very much attuned to her own sense of self while remaining connected to her local and global communities. She’s pretty awesome.

So enough about my progeny. I wanted to chat a little about the importance of rites of passage in this day and age. I have noticed that there isn’t much to signify the end of one life cycle and the beginning of another except for birthdays and graduation ceremonies and the likes.

There is an African proverb that says: “If we do not initiate the youth, they will initiate themselves.” It’s true. Just look at the problems we have with gangs and bullying.

Aside from the bad stuff, I would hate to think that all our new adults get for their efforts is voting privileges, access to rated R movies, being able to drink alcohol and get into licensed venues. As things stand, they leave school with a piece of paper that tells future employees and educational institutes how well they did academically. But what about individual character, self-worth, life skills and other such skills that determine if they are ready, willing and able to go out into the world and function as well-adjusted adults?

Which brings me to sacred-type stuff. What happened to family and cultural handing down of stories and heirlooms? What about blessings by elders, songs, dances, costumes, processions and gifts to honor and celebrate this monumental occasion?

I’d like to see a rite of passage specifically designed for young people to affirm their strengths and individual worth. I’m not talking competitive sports and intelligence tests. I’m talking challenges of the mind and body – not against each other, but against themselves – such as a rite of passage specifically designed so that each youth may find out who they are so they know where they fit in society.

Like the Australian aborigines and their walkabouts where male Australian Aborigines would undergo a journey during adolescence and live in the wilderness for months on end. In many remote communities in Australia, Aboriginal boys still have the opportunity to undergo traditional rites of passage and initiation into manhood.

Of course there are many other cultures where rites of passage are still practised. But for us folk living in the modern world there is no kinship system, community structure, cultural exchange or initiation, let alone a means of deepening our connectedness to land and spirit.

Without getting socially and politically extreme on your rear ends here, I’m thinking that the Number One Reason to have a lawfully recognised (or at least commonly accepted) rite of passage for adult transition is to encourage individual choice and responsibility, allowing future generations to know right from wrong, grow deep moral systems and foster inner strength. Woh… heavy, right?

I guess I just think it would be great to establish a more holistic journey for our youth to become men and woman that builds on the strengths of old ways and new ways. Some kind of ritual/ceremony/procession/gathering thingie that is a necessary piece of the puzzle that makes up a person along with education and social conditioning. Something that nurtures self-expression and freedom of choice and thought and lifestyle.

So here’s to thinking up a modern rite of passage. It could well be the answer to youth violence and crime. You never know…

P.S. I’ll post the next portion of the Get Your Life On course shortly. For now, I’m off to paint my toenails red (important stuff) and go to yoga class.

It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. I hope you have survived without me. My absence is legit. I can get a note from my parents if you don’t believe me.

As you know from a few of my more melodramatic posts of late, this year has not been a lie on the couch watching soapies kind of year for me.

To say the past few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride is an understatement. If my life was a rollercoaster it’s one that got stuck for yonks, fell apart, got knocked off its hinges and rolled down the mountain maiming show folk left, right and centre. I’m not exaggerating.

BUT at the focus of the maelstrom was my beautiful daughter, Natasha, who recently turned eighteen. It seems 18 is the new 21 these days. In Australia at least. I guess it’s the equivalent of a rite of passage, a coming of age.

So Tashi and I have been planning this occasion for, like, everrr. I won’t go into too much details as I’m still recovering (tired, so tired) needless to say that she smiled for three days straight during The Big Weekend and she still has another weekend away with her friends to look forward to. You can check out the pictures on her blog. She’s such a shy thing. Don’t blame me. I’m just her mum.

Anyways… back to you: I will write something profound and useful about rites of passage or something like that shortly, but for now I’m going to snuggle up with a hot chocolate and a book and think about not planning big things for a while… hmm, just remembered she graduates high school in a month or so, so it’s a lull before the storm I guess. Still, I love my princess mucho-maxo.

P.S. I almost forgot. Here’s the latest instalment on the Get Your Life On course. Oops. My bad?

So anyway… despite your insults I’m going to give you a free course becourse that’s the kind of person I am of course . You’re welcome.

The course is called ‘Get Your Life On’ and it’s about how to get from A to B with your dreams. There’s seven steps and each step will only take you ten minutes to do. Can’t get much easier than that, right? Right.

If you’re anything like me setting goals is great in theory but hard to put into practice. I mean, you’re too busy trying to figure out what you’re doing on a day-to-day basis, and then wondering why you don’t get stuff done and you’re no closer to whatever the hell it is you really want to be doing with your life, which sux and it would be really great to set some goals one day…

I hear you.

It’s a vicious circle kind of thing. So hopefully this course will help .

So click here for Day 1. No strings attached. Honest. You trust me, right? Course you do…!

The thing is when you’re over thirty things start to sag. As a woman you start to think about stuff like mortality and aging and wrinkles and what-the-hell happened to my youth? Did I pass it on my way to Bingo Night at the club?

BUT as I told my sister, there is a certain charm to growing old that modern times has buried in creams, procedures and injections.

If you take a good look at a woman over the age of fifty who takes pride in her appearance, who doesn’t wear dollops of makeup and hasn’t had a face lift or botox injections and whatever the hell you do with collagen (blah, blah, blah…) you will see a beauty that surpasses the kind you see in airbrushed magazine pictures.

A woman who is at peace with who she is and what she looks like is the definition of real beauty. Look past the wrinkles and age spots and all the other signs of living past fifty and you will see a woman whose beauty is deeply captivating.

I don’t know about you, but I am far more impressed with natural beauty than fake beauty. Sure we are all flawed, but so what? We all have things we don’t like about ourselves – even super models – but if we don’t start focussing on what we LOVE about ourselves, all those negative thoughts we have will get out of control as time goes on.

THEN we are at risk of slipping into the really unhealthy habit of finding more and more things we don’t like about ourselves until we can’t stand to look in the mirror.

The things us women do to ourselves. Seriously. Blimey, we even compare ourselves to other women our age or women younger and wish we were them. We look at photos of ourselves ten years ago and think, ‘Wow, I looked GOOD back then’. And we did. But we will look at photos of ourselves ten years from now and think the same thing, so why not feel good about ourselves right now?

So look in that mirror and say this to yourself: ‘I look GOOD!’

Say it loud: ‘I LOOK GOOD!!’ Feel it and mean it… because you DO look good.

So girls – or should I say ‘women’ – let’s wear our lives proudly in our looks. Let’s say no to eternal youth and embrace aging gracefully instead. Let’s not fall into the trap of fighting to remain young and wasting money, time and energy on anything other than facials and treatments and stuff that keeps us healthy on the outside and feeling good on the inside.

Let’s give the finger to the media and all those unrealistic beauty ads and any other crap that puts the pressure on us to look twenty-one again. We’re not twenty-one so why the hell should we look it? There is beauty in aging and I for one intend to embrace it.

By the way, you look gorgeous today!

Tracey

I’m doing this chakra yoga course (go me and my awesomely expanding brain) and the teacher was talking about judgemental behaviour.

That got me thinking how I’m actually the opposite. I love getting compliments. Always have. Don’t think I’m making myself out to be some kind of hero (or some kind of needy loser). It’s because I rarely got them growing up. I was regularly told what was wrong about me but praise and encouragement weren’t part of the furniture in our house. Interestingly, now that we’re all growed up, my siblings don’t much care for compliments but I give and get them all the time and love it.

As a coach, I’m probably supposed to tell you that external gratification (aka compliments) is bad but when you feel totally crap about yourself any gratification is better than none. There has to be a point when you look inside for the answers but you got to get on that path first to walk down it and external gratification can get you on that path quickly.

Like what happened with me. Not getting many compliments meant that whenever I got one, I beamed with confidence. It would shatter my doubts and fears and enable me to see possibilities. If the compliment was about something I deeply valued, I could be in that state for months.

Example (follow my logic): When I was about eight years old, I really wanted to be smart but no one told me I was so I assumed I wasn’t. When someone told me I was smart I was blissfully relieved. Why? Because it gave me a green light to turn my hopes into beliefs.

The other compliments experience I had happened when I was in my early twenties. I was out one night with friends when this guy told me I was pretty. As a teenager I had low self-esteem and really bad acne so I didn’t feel pretty but I really, really wanted to be pretty because all the good things are – like flowers and waterfalls and sunsets and princesses (fact).

So when this guy said I was pretty, I felt it. I was on cloud nine. I danced and laughed and had a really good night except for one thing. There was this other guy sitting across the table from me giving me death looks. Whenever I smiled at him, he frowned. Whenever I tried to start a conversation with him, he ignored me. It put a dampener on my night but I kept smiling and having a good time until eventually he said to me, ‘You’re so up yourself. You’re not even that pretty, you know.’

Ouch!

He got me where it hurt. Needless to say it wiped the smile from my face and made me feel ugly all over again. Just as I believed it when someone told me I was pretty, the same applied when someone said it wasn’t so. And which one did I believe the most? The one based in fear, not love.

So the point I’m making, sweet reader, is that compliments are a win-win situation. No matter who you are or what kind of life experiences you have had, it feels good to give them and it feels good to get them so let them in so they can work their magic on your psyche.

On the other hand insults are a lose-lose situation. They are fear-based and toxic. It feels bad to give them and bad to get them. Ah, I hear you thinking, “That’s bollocks. Some people gain pleasure from causing other people pain.” True, but while it may give them some temporary satisfaction, they end up feeling empty and lost. You can’t give away your pain. It’s yours to sort through. That goes for all of us.

So back to the good stuff: I encourage you to give and accept heartfelt compliments readily and sincerely. And if someone in your life is getting their kicks from bringing you down, remember that it’s about them – not you.

Oh, and hey, I couldn’t end this post without giving you a sincere and heartfelt compliment, so here goes: “You rock my weblog world!”

Seriously, without you there would be no point in me writing this. I love to write, to inspire, to foster happiness and all that good stuff but without you there’s no point. So thank you for reading (I think that’s called a win-win situation, right?).

Until next post, keep on sharing the good stuff.

Tracey

I thought I’d get a bit opinionated on you this week to encourage some open-mindedness about your beliefs.

Meet Jane

Jane grew up in a secular household and attended a religious school. When she left school Jane explored many different faiths and belief systems until she found one that made sense to her. Jane attends a service every week and prays every day. Jane believes that God guides her life and has a purpose for her so she accepts everything as His will. Jane isn’t perfect but she is a good person. She is kind to everyone and people like her.

Meet Joe

Joe grew up in a religious household and attended a state school. When he left school, he didn’t think twice about religion. He focused more on learning facts and interacting with like-minded people to confirm his beliefs in science and evolution. Joe thinks like a scientist. He doesn’t consider anything that isn’t proven or based on facts. Joe isn’t perfect but he is a good person. He is kind to everyone and people like him.

Freedom of Beliefs

Belief systems are personal. Everyone is entitled to them. You may be like Jane or Joe, or you may have beliefs that are based on other ideas within the bounds of religion or otherwise. Your beliefs may remain firm or they may change as you gain more life experience.

You should be free to believe what you want as long as it doesn’t infringe on anyone else’s beliefs or lack of beliefs.

When it comes to the meaning and origin of life, there are many ideas out there. If we close off and say ‘that’s it’ then we miss out on a great opportunity to better understand ourselves and humanity. Perhaps the real truth is never actually believing in anything but rather seeing truth in many things, even when sometimes those things are polar opposites. Maybe there isn’t one single truth but many.

The “Big Q”

It is when we let go of all our pre-conceived notions about how things are that ideas evolve. That’s what scientists and artists do to reach new horizons. Am I right? So maybe it’s the same is for the big question of “Why am i here?”.

Heaven Schmeaven

Which brings me to God. I think that in the greater scheme of things God doesn’t matter. That’s a tall claim, I know. Rather than put our faith in a deity that may or may not exist, I vote we put our faith in humanity instead. If we all spent less time thinking about why we’re here and what happens when we die and we focus more on the choices we make every day and how those choices impact on the rest of the world then wars would end and universal wellbeing would increase.

Let’s all just forget our differences and make one instead. Hey, better still, let’s make Heaven on Earth together… Woo-hoo, baby!

So that was my d&m for the week. I’ll leave you with a rhyming poem by a friend of mine, Don Smy. I think it brings a refreshingly simple perspective to a complex issue. Enjoy…

**********

“Heaven”

by Don Smy

What is this thing called Heaven
Some Palace up high in the sky
Or a state of mind we can’t reach
A want, or a need with a sigh

We see it in terms unique to us
Never grasping opposing views
Where I see a minus, he sees a plus
While they see quite different hues

Is it there, or did we invent it
To feed our insatiable pride
Or are we part of it’s wonder
With slivers of Heaven inside

For some it’s a state of being
For others a mere state of mind
For me it’s a constant battle
To see through eyes that are blind

Could it be like Time & Space
Unchanged though we pass through
Racing along through the Cosmos
With minds firmly stuck in the glue

Death keeps clouding the issue
But one day we surely must see
And know that Now is forever
It’s really enough just – to be.

**********

Thanks Don!
And to you, sweet reader, enjoy your Heaven

Tracey

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Me again tapping out more words of waffling wisdom on this beautiful sunny morning sitting here in my trackies sipping green tea (like you needed to know all that)…

Anyways… I wanted to share with you something that happened the other day and that seems to happen to me quite often. What happened was a man I respect and trust told me a big fat lie. I was hanging on his every word – one pen away from taking notes – when he did it.

We were talking about the internet, a subject which he knows a fair bit about, so I take him very seriously (because I am a geek and I love the internet in a very sincere and reverential way).

I was trying to think up a name for my new website. We were deep in conversation. This man (who will remain nameless – you know who you are Stephan Stavrakis you evil, evil man) turns and says to me:

‘Well, you’d better get yourself a domain name quickly, I hear they’re running low.’

And what does yours truly reply: ‘OMG! Really?’ before going into a state of mild panic, hastily yanking the thesaurus down from the bookshelf and madly flicking through it for ideas. It was truly awful.

I know what you’re thinking: As if every single domain name in the whole world could be taken. It was obviously bollocks. My excuse is that I’m open-minded and I don’t automatically think ‘what’s the chances’ when someone tells me something, so I thought: ‘Well, there’s a lot of websites out there…’

No blonde hairs on this head but I will admit to having a long-term case of gullibilitis (meaning I am extremely gullible) of which there is no cure. I will believe anything. Just ask my friends and family. Believe me, they take full advantage of it by telling me whopping great fibs all the time. They’re not very nice people.

It’s not all bad though. The great thing about having gullibilitis is that I totally enjoy stories. I don’t need a lot of convincing that dragons talk and children rule worlds. The bad thing is that people with not so great intentions try and take advantage of me. But never fear; I have a weapon against evil and it’s called the Intuitor.

The Intuitor is a bit like a lightsaber except it’s got more sparkles and makes a ‘weeeeee!’ sound when I swish it in figure eights, which is the best way to ward off malice. So fortunately I’m protected.

The Intuitor works by sensing bullshit through a high-tech gadget thingie in the handle and sending a signal to my brain under the disguise of a very faint sixth sense that tells me something isn’t quite right.

It’s hit and miss and it only usually works on villains (rarely on people I trust – which is a bummer). I think the inventor ran out of money before it was fully developed. Either that or I should pull out the instruction manual and see if there’s a button I should be pushing.

So I’m wondering if it’s just me that suffers from gullibilitis. Seriously, do you believe the crap your so-called loved ones tell you because you love and trust them? Do you have an Intuitor to ward off villains? If you do, maybe we can start a support group together.

Hey, we could meet once a month and have a newsletter! We could even get a website. But we’d better hurry. Apparently there’s a shortage of domain names, or so I hear… Speaking of which, I’d better go grab one before they’re gone. Catcha!

Tracey

P.S. Oh, by the way, I was going to talk about trust, but I waffled on a bit instead (did you notice?) Sorry about that. So stay tuned for a d&m about Joe, Jane and a deity you may or may not have heard of called God.

P.P.S. Hey, can you tweet this for me so I know the button works? You know what I’m like with this left-brain stuff. Think of it as a favour to me for providing you with all these highly use(less)ful blog posts out of the kindness of my heart because I am truly awesome and kindness oozes out of my every pore and you love me so much… Geez,I waffle on about crap, don’t I?

Stay happy, beautiful reader!

The National NAIDOC Ball

NAIDOC stands for ‘National Aborigines and Islanders Day Observance Committee’. NAIDOC Week celebrations are held across Australia each July to celebrate the history, culture and achievements of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

The national NAIDOC ball is the highlight of the week. Tickets sell days after they go on sale. The girls glam up to the nines and the boys tux up and look well, let’s just say I’ve got a thing for men in suites (mmm…).

The Black Culture Thing

The reason I’m sharing this with you isn’t to brag. Nor is it to educate you about Australian indigenous culture, though it’s an interesting subject. I’m sharing this because my experience at the ball was quite profound.

I thought I knew a bit about Australian indigenous culture. Many of my friends are indigenous. My best buddy from school who invited me to the ball is aboriginal and I relate to black cultures due to my own heritage.

But NAIDOC opened my eyes to what it’s like to experience a culture collectively. The vibe in the room was so uplifting. There was a pride and connection amongst the thousand-plus guests I have rarely felt before.

Most Meaningful Awards

The theme of this year’s celebrations was ‘Honouring our Elders, Nurturing our Youth’. The award categories were titles like Elder of the Year (Female and Male), Youth of the Year, Artist of the Year and Scholar of the Year.

If there was a ceremony called ‘The Most Meaningful Awards’ Awards, NAIDOC would get my vote. The life stories of the winners gave me goosebumps. I teared up more than once. There was one elder who had never been out of her community before, let alone hop on a plane and come to the city to receive an award in front of television cameras and thousands of her people.

Talk about a wow experience.

The Bond Thing

They say there are six degrees of separation between people. In that room, those six degrees merged into the singular. This was one family linked sometimes by blood, but at all times by a shared history, and a singular view for the future: cultural redemption.

This is a people who have gone through hell in the past and still have many battles to fight today. They are in a constant yin yang of hurting and healing but they are strong.

Through the speeches, performances and conversations that night, I saw clearly that no amount of racial hatred, of ignorance or of rejection is going to suppress these proud and inspiring people. They are kicking butt and white Australia would do well to take notice.

What is Culture?

Okay, so I didn’t go home with a prince on my arm. I didn’t get bummed out because I lost my glass slipper either. But I went home with a better understanding of the importance of culture.

Culture isn’t just about keeping tradition alive. It’s about sharing old stories and creating new ones. It’s about respecting tradition by always adding value to it. But most of all, culture is about family.

Honouring our Elders, Nurturing our Youth

I encourage you to ask yourself three questions:

1. What is my culture?
2. Where do I belong?
3. What (or who) would I fight for and never give up?

If you’re anything like me the answer to each of those questions is ‘Family’. Family is everything. Whether your family is large or small, related by blood or bond, it doesn’t matter. What matters is we love, cherish and respect the people who mean the most to us, the people who are part of our ‘life family’.

We all have people in our lives (duh). But how much do we appreciate them… really appreciate? Who have you ignored or taken for granted, assuming they will always be around? Never assume. Fate can strike a nasty blow any moment.

Spend time with your loved ones. Take granny for a helicopter ride. Take Uncle Henry to a strip club (hmm, maybe not). Throw water bombs with your kids, nieces, nephews, friends or neighbours kids. Go away somewhere special with a friend. Share your time and love with everyone who is close to you. Relish their company.

Create memories that will stand the test of time through stories, told and written, and shared by future youth and future elders. Because death takes us all eventually but it can never take away the stories that keep family and culture and tradition alive.

Here’s to family!

Tracey x

Henry James said, “Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind.”

I couldn’t agree more. While there are plenty of other fantabulous ways to spend your time, kindness has to be the thing that brings the most joy and pleasure to my life. If someone told me I could have a million dollars but I’d have to be horrible to everyone for the rest of my life, I’d pass, and I certainly hope you would too. If we’re to make the slightest difference in the world in a positive way, then we can do it by showing a little kindness every day.

So folks, I’m not going to lecture or offer my usual off-kilter words of waffling wisdom in this week’s post. Instead, I share with you the perceptive observations of others:

“Kindness is the greatest wisdom.” Author Unknown

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Like a boomerang kindness always returns.” Author Unknown

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Dalai Lama

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly, show them how.” Author Unknown

“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.” Jesse Jackson

“It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.” Author Unknown

“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.” Robert Brault

“If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.” Bob Hope

“A good character is the best tombstone.  Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered.  Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.” Charles H. Spurgeon

And to finish with a chuckle…

“If you step on people in this life, you’re going to come back as a cockroach.” Willie Davis

Here’s to spreading the happiness…!

Tracey

Hi folks, I’ve been quite the busy bee these past few weeks which is why I haven’t posted anything. You have been in my thoughts though, as I know it’s been hard for you not hearing from me in so long… Lol… I am so full of it, aren’t I?

Anyway, enough of the bs, so here’s what I’ve been up to for the last few days. It’s very exciting (exciting is another word for ‘dull’ right?). Read on only if you have absolutely nothing else to do otherwise I fear I will lose you, my only reader, forever.

These past few days I have spent many a loooong hour bent over a shovel and rake. You have no idea how sore I am…! Here’s the go. I live on a 2.5 acre property. The house is at the back of the block and our driveway runs the entire length. For the past six months it has done nothing but rain here on the un-aptly named ‘Sunshine Coast’ and so our driveway has pretty much disappeared into a trench of swampy madness. I swear there’s a few crocs in there (I do live across from Australia Zoo!).

Enter Tracey thinking she can save the driveway single-handedly. For those of you who don’t know me in the real world I weigh around 54kgs and I’m not that tall. I like to think of myself as physically strong and I’m fit enough but there aint no way I’m ever going to win the Women’s World Body Building Title!

So after hour upon hour of shovelling and raking and wheelbarrowing wet road base into puddles and washouts and slushy spongy muddy muck I can tell you I was pretty stuffed! But you know the weird thing? It was kinda cool. I mean there I was sweating it up with my ipod playing my favourite music and I was well into The Physical Zone.

I’ve discovered that The Physical Zone is completely different to The Creative Zone or The Meditation Zone. It’s more like The Yoga Zone on steroids. For those of you who practise yoga, you know what I mean. It’s when you tune into yourself on the ultimate level – mind, body, spirit. The Physical Zone was like that for me.

I was totally at one with my body while I was pushing myself to the max and all the time remembering to honour myself with many breaks to stretch and rest. It was ‘Om’ and ‘Ouch’ all rolled into one.

So that’s it. I just thought I’d share. Really, there’s no point to this post other than to say ‘Hi’ and let you know what I’ve been up to. Oh, and also I’d like to publicly take my sweaty grimy dirty hat off to all you physical labourers out there. All that physical stuff is tough  and I would imagine quite difficult to endure day in day out. Here’s to you.

…And to all you office workers out there, if you want to get physical, I have a house that needs painting. Hey, a girl can try.

Leave a comment to commiserate or tell me I’m a wuss and to get over it. At least my driveway looks good and I can drive on it again.

Stay tuned for a ‘proper’ post soon.

Tracey