“Song Named After a Girl” is the opening track from my new album, The Sound. A few months back, I was driving along to Iron & Wine’s “Jezebel,” and pondering what a different flavor it would have if the subject’s name was Judy or Jennifer. That led to mentally cataloging every other like-named song I could recall, from the Beatles’ “Michelle” to Toto’s “Roseanna” (another Brian does a better job). I wondered what name I’d choose, and decided the world doesn’t need another song named after a girl. For better or worse, it got this.

I invite you to to download and share the song (you may have to right-click the link and select “Save As”). It’s yours for the taking, no strings attached.

A free album download to the first person to identify the song in the manuscript above!

Song Named After a Girl
©2010 Brian Hazard (ASCAP)

I sing a timeless story
The song about a girl
A tale of tragic glory
To captivate the world
I don’t want to award you any undue fame
So the star of this lyric doesn’t have a name

I want to laugh it off but
This isn’t a game
I want to write a song and
Sing it in your name but
Who cares? I’ll recover

I want to rip my heart out
Throw it on the ground
I want to scream your name out
Just to hear the sound but
Who needs another
Song named after a girl

The plot line is a classic
Been done a million times
But never so sarcastic
With such ironic rhymes
So I hope I get bonus points for novelty
When you calculate all the time you wasted on me.

The new Color Theory album, The Sound, is now available for pre-order, shipping on or before August 4. The CD is packaged in a beautiful 6-panel Digipak with original art by himitsuhana, limited to 1,000 copies worldwide. You can place your order here.

Here’s a taste of each of the album’s 10 tracks. Alternately, you can stream or download the mp3 file here.

In addition to the standard Limited Edition CD, I’m trying out something that to my knowledge has never been done before: The Individual Edition CD.

It will probably come as a surprise that I can’t create the exact same mix twice, even though the album was recorded entirely “in the box” on my studio computer. Arpeggiators randomly cycle through the notes of a chord. Panning effects start and end at different points. Some devices purposely insert glitches and other random anomalies. Beyond the occasional surprise, these differences are tough to pick out unless you know what to listen for. The qualitative listening experience is the same, but the fact that each mixdown is an “audio snowflake” gave me an idea:

As a souvenir of your support, I will create a personalized custom CD featuring unique mixdowns of each of the 12 songs I recorded for the album. The outtakes “Touch” and “Release the Hounds” are not on the standard Limited Edition CD and will not appear on any future physical release. The disc will open with a token of my appreciation – a spoken “thank you” mentioning you by name.

The Individual Edition CD is available through July 31. Keeping in mind that it takes me three hours to prepare each one, I’ve priced it at $99, which also includes a copy of the standard Limited Edition version. I don’t have much spare time to devote to this, so I can only take the first 20 orders. They will ship as soon as the CDs arrive, most likely before the August 4 release date.

If you can think of anything I can do to make it more special or meaningful, please let me know!

The eighth full-length Color Theory album, The Sound, will be released on August 4th. More info soon!

Q2 sales are the lowest yet, again. They came in at $521 versus $555 for Q1. Fortunately, this should be the end of the decline, since the new album is in manufacturing as I type this! Digital sales exceeded physical by a 2:1 ratio, which confirms my decision to make the new album my last physical release. 52% of sales were for my latest album, The Thought Chapter, which just broke even last quarter.

That brings the grand total up to $55,494 in total sales of all albums. For more details, see my running tally of profit/loss figures for each album.

This last lyric for the album (game over, indeed) is based on the On the Pulse snippet. I tried a few other directions, but they were all dead ends. Most promising was “The Digital Age,” but I couldn’t get the concept off the ground.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and suggestions. Last chance! Anything confusing or contradictory? What’s the weakest part? The strongest? Before you suggest a word-for-word substitution, try singing along with the player below to make sure it fits. It starts at the beginning and skips to “It’s too late to turn back now” after the chorus.

Game Over
©2010 Brian Hazard (ASCAP)

You’re so kind, you’re so sweet
I’m inclined to sweep you right off your feet
You may blush, but it’s true
You deserve the best and I deserve to give it to you
To that end I’ve the means
Born of years perfecting intricate schemes
If it works out this once
We’ll be sipping margaritas in a matter of months

Is it risky, maybe
Is it legal, maybe not
When your middle name is danger
There’s no room for second thoughts
If they catch me it’s game over
If they don’t then we’re home free

Is it theft? Well not quite
Just financial sleight of hand when done right
Take a look in the garage
It’s equipped for simple hacking up to espionage
I’m discreet, I’m covert
And I promise that no one will get hurt
I’ve said all that I dare
To protect us both from jeopardy I’d better stop there

It’s too late to turn back now
And high time to disappear
Our troubles will soon be past
So think of me fondly dear

If by some unlikely chance
I don’t live to see this through
Remember me with a smile
I did all of it for you

The other night I was tickling Cole, as dads tend to do. When I got a little too aggressive he said, “The Rule of Tickles is you have to stop when I say so!” And I said, “The Rule of Tickles, huh?” (we were reading A.A. Milne, hence the capitalization). So I decided to try something a little more interesting for the Canadian Boards snippet, rather than the usual relationship blah blah blah thing I had lined up. Also, maybe it’s just me, but the snippet sounds like tickling or laughter – it just fits.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and suggestions. Anything confusing or contradictory? What’s the weakest part? The strongest? Sorry I don’t have any musical reference for you to listen to this time. All the composition so far has taken place at the piano.

Only one more lyric to write after this!

The Rule of Tickles
©2010 Brian Hazard (ASCAP)

You could torture me to tears
And not leave a mark
So it’s not easy for me
To let down my guard
When the natural thing to do
Is protect myself
From an overwhelming touch
Crossing into pain
If you’re delicate enough
You can have your way
But I need a safety net
So you’d better not forget

The rule of tickles is
You’ve got to stop when I say when
If you take this game too far
I’ll never play with you again
So watch for subtle cues
‘Cause I like you a lot
Can I trust you, or not?

When your fingertips explore
All you feel is touch
As sensations in my skin
Cause my blood to rush
It’s like falling deep in love
With a platonic friend
I can’t do it to myself
It’s impossible
‘Cause I’m only sensitive
When I’m vulnerable
The successful hand relies
On the element of surprise

Laughter doesn’t always mean
That I’m having fun
I may laugh reflexively
Before you’ve begun
But you have my full consent
If you’re willing to relent

I’m easy to amuse
‘Cause I like you a lot
Can I trust you, or not?

This one comes from the Swing Vampires snippet. It came out a little jazzier than I anticipated! It was supposed to be called Pretend Extroverts but that particular phrase never wrote itself into the lyric. Clearly Extroverts at Play makes more sense with this lyric, but is it a better title?

As always, I welcome your thoughts and suggestions. Anything confusing or contradictory? What’s the weakest part? The strongest? Before you suggest a word-for-word substitution, try singing along with the player below to make sure it fits. You’ll notice the second verse doesn’t scan perfectly because the rhyme isn’t always at the end of the line.

Extroverts at Play
©2010 Brian Hazard (ASCAP)

They don’t know what they believe
So we stare and nod as they think out loud
Trying our best to fit in
As we fight for breath in this stifling crowd
And the time races by when you’re having some fun
But it’s plodding along now at quarter to one
As the night tries our patience we’re hitting a wall
I sneak off to the side like I’m taking a call to observe

Extroverts at play
Egos run amuck
I’d like them well enough
If they would just shut up
But we will persevere
By sheer force of will
We’ll stoically endure
This social overkill

Maybe someday this will
Come to us more naturally but
Until then we’ll have to pretend

Tomorrow we’ll take the whole day
To recuperate in a private place
Sleeping or reading a book
Our resilience now is our saving grace
So just try to imagine, it’s not such a stretch
I’m the life of the party and it is the death of me
Here in my eyes you’re the belle of the ball
With the hint of a smile you enchant more than all of the…

We’ll hone our acting skills
Fake it ’til we make it baby
Until then we’ll have to pretend

My absolute favorite album of the past few years is Anchor Baby by Rupesh Cartel, which I had the honor of mastering. You may already be familiar with their brilliant remix of my song “Hypothetically.” My absolute favorite song of the past few years is “Imperial,” which was originally part of the tracklist but was later cut. Fortunately, Viktor gave me permission to post it here. You’re sure to spot Rupesh Cartel’s influence on my recent recordings, beyond the drum samples they were nice enough to share with me.

The instrumental arrangement of Song Named After a Girl centers around a reversed piano, as you can hear in this snippet from the intro. It starts with the reversed piano, and then the normal “forward” piano plays the same thing on top of it.

At first I wasn’t sure how I’d arrange a whole song with the piano reversed, but it turned out to be pretty easy. I recorded this short “piece” containing all the chord changes used in the song, then reversed it, sliced it at each chord change, and arranged the component parts in reverse order.

And so I present to you: Piano Piece Named After a Girl. If the monotony doesn’t bore you to tears, you’re welcome to download it by clicking on the down arrow in the player.

Here’s an interesting one, based on the Analogics snippet. I’ll leave it to you to decide whether it’s clever or just plain stupid. As always, I welcome your thoughts and suggestions. Anything confusing or contradictory? What’s the weakest part? The strongest? Before you suggest a word-for-word substitution, try singing along with the player below to make sure it fits.

Song Named After a Girl
©2010 Brian Hazard (ASCAP)

I sing a timeless story
The song about a girl
A tale of tragic glory
To captivate the world
I don’t want to award you any undue fame
So the star of this lyric doesn’t have a name

I want to laugh it off but
This isn’t a game
I want to write a song and
Sing it with your name but
Who cares? I’ll recover

I want to rip my heart out
Throw it on the ground
I want to scream your name out
Just to hear the sound but
Who needs another…

Song named after a girl
Song named after a girl

The plot line is a classic
Been done a million times
But never so sarcastic
With such ironic rhymes
So I hope I get bonus points for novelty
When you calculate all the time you wasted on me