/*
 **************************************************
 * Note: our pen0rs are 50 x larger than yours.   *
 * This is a f*ck you to gobbles. Go wash your    *
 * dirty ass hair, go take a bath, get a real life*
 * off of your f*cking computer. #phrack is a lot *
 * of dirt f*cks too who don’t get off their box  *
 **************************************************
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: gnuchesse.c
Programming language: C

# WE ALSO HAVE BUTTONS (more BUTT than ONS…. nobody’s
# prefect, ford)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: zippimail
Programming language: Perl

// Private joke : Don’t forget to commit sucide, elsewhere
// you gonna be punched by a rollback and go to psychatry

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: PHP

Thanks to Tobias J. for this code candy

# I should really be using regular expressions to do this,
# but hey, i’m too lazy right now, and the damn thing
# seems to work :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: DocMaker
Programming language: Python

/* ugly code warning, constants in line, who wrote this :-)*/
/* ok, ok it was me… Ted, come beat me up later, it was late at night */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: opendrv
Programming language: C

/**
 * I generally like to play around with fuzzy concepts and
 * see where they take me. I could, of course, sit down,
 * smoke a lot (later edit: I stopped smoking altogether –
 * feel great) and just think abstract concepts, but often
 * it is more interesting to just start banging some light
 * prototypes, after a few ideas and/or beers. English is
 * my thrid language – code is first and romanian second :)
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: razpub
Programming language: Java

/*
 * go to replace mode because we just want to bang that
 * matrix a bunch of times. err… well in this case, just
 * once.
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: pexdraw
Programming language: C

# Son, when you participate in sporting events,
# it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how drunk you get.

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Mojo
Programming language: Perl

// Windows sucks. (Oh, you didn’t know that… Well, trust me
// it does!). It is not documented in the help what
// LoadString returns but it seems that if the text doesn’t
// fit into the buffer LoadString returns 0.
// Ok. Windows NT sucks more. If the string can’t fit into
// the buffer NT returns ERROR_RESOURCE_NAME_NOT_FOUND. Not
// insufficient buffer.
//
// AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
//

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Kerberos Telnet
Programming language: C++

/* Please please PPLLEEAASSEE don’t look past this line – it
   is SO ugly, but I am much too lazy to change this. Just
   run the program, don’t read the code :-). */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: PHP

# Hello… you wouldn’t have seen a lost comment around here,
# would you? :-| He’s my soon, you know? :-| I’ve been
# looking for him for some time now… He’s small, just about
# two lines long… :-| If you see him, could you please
# tell me? Thank you :-|

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: Perl

An “auto save” function for ASCII format data files. (This can save your butt when your wife logs you out without asking. I should have never given her an account … she has too many friends with e-mail access. :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: Perl

/*
Setting additional nice inner borders for the main table cells. The names indicate which sides the border will be on.
Don’t worry if you don’t understand this, just ignore it :-)
*/

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: CSS

/*
 * f*cking ARSES…
 * I’m not sure, but I think I found a F*CKING IRRITATING
 * bug in the .net runtime-
 *
 * If this is created as a normal form control
 * (ie: this.mcPage1 = new mcPage(); in the
 * constructor) then DESPITE what your brain
 * would tell you, it USES THE WRONG F*CKING
 * CONSTRUCTOR!
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Programming language: C#

/* Too many quirks presently if hero and steed
 * are swallowed. Pretend purple worms don’t
 * like horses for now :-)
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: interhack
Programming language: C++

So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself your geekiness. No matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks have rights. So take a deep breath and announce to the world that you are a geek. Your courage will give you strength that will last you forever. [...]

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: ungeek
Programming language: Shell

# Oh yeah… i do plan on cleaning up the look-and-feel for
# this test script. My goal in throwing the t(), and
# tsoundex() code in was to let me be lazy. Unfortunately the
# code on the bottom is nasty.
# When i have time… when i have time… :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Text-Soundex
Programming language: Perl

# Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance,
# he’d eat you and everyone you care about!

Quelle: Direktlink zum Source Code
Package / Software: Mojo
Programmiersprache: Perl

/* I know the line below is really ugly. I only did it this
 * way because I thought it’d be funny :-) */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Gaim / Pidgin
Programming language: C

//If unit is MM, then we can simply check for the min and max
//values of the scan area options, since they won’t change if
//the resolution changes (unless some drunken backend author
//has better ideas :-)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: QuiteInsane
Programming language: C++

/* we need to keep this sh*t globally!!!!!,
f*cking Jungo programmers, I want to kill’em all */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Chai
Programming language: C

/* Ok – we have to double check that any pending votes aren’t
 * in fact expired – we’ll do it in a lame fashion (since
 * this is a pretty rare issue in any case, and this
 * function isn’t performance critical..
 * .. and yes, the programmer is lazy!)
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: OpenServices
Programming language: C

/**
 * Unload ALL loaded modules, no matter what kind of module
 * it is. Do NEVER EVER, and i mean NEVER (and if that isn’t
 * clear enough yet, i mean: NEVER AT ALL) call this unless
 * we’re shutting down, or we’ll f*ck up Anope badly
 * (protocol handling won’t work for example). If anyone
 * calls this function without a justified need for it, i
 * reserve the right to break their legs in a painful way.
 * And if that isn’t enough discouragement, you’ll wake up
 * with your both legs broken tomorrow ;) -GD
 */

BTW: HAPPY BIRTHDAY codecandies.com! Congratulations to the first year of funny code comments!

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Anope
Programming language: C

/* For the people measuring the quality of software
   by grep-ing the bad words: f*ck f*ck.
   Sorry, I do not have a very extended vocabulary,
   at least in this language!
 */

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Gujin
Programming language: C

//IE’s textRange and selection object is woefully inadequate,
//which means this fancy stuff is gecko only sorry :-|
//Die Bill, Die. (IE supports it somewhat nativly though)

Source: Direct link to the source code
Software: Xinha
Programming language: JavaScript