The City That Breeds

BLT Cocktails!

Pat — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:22:25 +0000

Once you’ve broken your cherry by making some bacon-infused vodka Bloody Marys, give this one a shot. After tasting a bacon Bloody Mary, I was inspired to create a BLT-type drink. After a lot of trial and error, here’s what I came up with.

Now, if you haven’t made bacon vodka yet, it’s time to man up already. It’s wicked easy – cook some bacon and add vodka.

Having done that, let’s make some BLT-inspired cocktails. For our first example, start by adding equal parts of the following:

Bacon-infused vodka
Hendricks gin (The “L”) – For those of you not familiar with it, Hendricks is a Scottish gin made from traditional botanicals as well as cucumber leaves and rose petals. You WILL taste the difference. If you’re afraid of gin, this one’s a pussycat; people who hate gin love this one. I also know that cucumber is not the same as lettuce, but who in the hell wants a drink made from lettuce?
Tomato Juice
A dash of celery salt and/or sea salt

BLT Cocktail

The cucumber flavor in the Hendricks is subtle when mixed with the bacon vodka and tomato juice. I added a splash of cucumber juice to enhance it (cucumber+blender+cheesecloth). It’s not necessary, but it’s definitely an improvement that’s worth the whopping $0.50 and two minutes of hard labor. My favorite aspect of it is that you taste it in stages – first the cucumber, then the tomato, and finally the bacon. It’s basically a “light” version of a Bloody Mary. This is also a deal-maker since it goes down smoother than water and is laden with alcohol. It’s like Rohypnol for the DIY-er!

Now, I love Bloody Mary’s, especially Bacon Bloody’s, even Virgin Bloody’s – but after having one, I’m ready to settle with a smoother cocktail. This next drink is something you can knock down with ease until you can’t legally drive, and it’s equally as tasty (and if you don’t want to shell out $35 for Hendricks as far as the gin is concerned, it’s a much cheaper alternative…).

BLT Smoothie

In your blender, add:

One cup of diced seedless (English) cucumber, or about 4″ worth.
2.5 oz tomato juice and 2.5 oz of bacon vodka.
Toss in a couple ice cubes and blend.

It’s more of a smoothie than a cocktail, but delicious nonetheless. The texture of the cucumber actually enhances the flavor. To be honest, I prefer this version of the drink, but it requires too much preparation and cleanup for a guy without a wife. So if you have a wife, this drink might be for you!

Cheers!

Dixon pleads not guilty; summons wizard as defense attorney

Evan — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:33:10 +0000

Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon plead not guilty today on multiple charges brought against her including theft and perjury, as the result of a four year probe by the state prosecutor’s office.

Despite the fact that her lawyer Arnold Weiner is a well known and seemingly effective defense attorney, the Dixon camp is seeking further courtroom aid – with the hopes of a victory – by securing the services of a wizard. A spokesman for Dixon claimed in a statement “We’re unsure as to whether we’ll be going with a Gandolf-type wizard, whose powers are fairly subtle and don’t involve a lot of flash, or perhaps a Harry Potter type wizard who will dazzle the jury with chain lightning and rainbows shooting from their hands. Either way, the use of legal and arcane wizardry will be necessary for her to win this case and we expect to use both to the fullest extent.”

Wizard possibly hired by Dixon

Little is known about the names on the short list of wizards being groomed for hire by the Dixon camp. Due to their mysterious nature, the chosen wizard may only make his or her appearance for the first time in the courtroom, accompanied by a shower of sparkles or a puff of smoke. It is clear, however, that the hiring of a wizard by Sheila Dixon’s defense team indicates a heightened urgency, as the stakes for her position as mayor have never been higher. If convicted Dixon will be forced to resign from her position as Mayor, and the wizard will most certainly demand his bag of rubies.

No related posts.

Mealtime! #16

Evan — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:35:53 +0000

What: Flag Pizza (large, 16″)
Where: Joe Squared (133 W North Ave., Charles North)

How Much: $23 (yikes!)

Synopsis: Posting anything about Joe Squared is kind of an afterthought since practically everyone knows it’s a superior place to get a ‘gourmet’ pizza. And this pizza, split into three different pizzas (standard cheese, four cheese, pesto and mozzarella) is living …er, pizza proof of that.

Each section has a distinct flavor, and the 16″ pie was large enough to split between 3 people. Which for $23 comes out to be around 8 bucks a head, which is pretty reasonable. I did note, however, that the “flag” aspect of the pizza is supposed to be Italy (right?) but the cheddar adorning the middle portion makes it yellow, which apparently is the flag for Mali. Eh, whichever continent you’re into, I guess. Thumbs up for this pizza.

View the Mealtime! Map

This Snuggie thing is absolutely out of effing control.

Evan — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:07:22 +0000

Yeah at first Snuggies were kind of funny to me. The cult-member appeal, the idea of wearing the equivalent of a hospital gown made of LUXURIOUS material granting everyone the ability to answer the phone without the major hassle that a blanket might confer, I could kind of see it. Plus, the commercials are a gas.

But like most as seen on TV products, things have gone overboard. Like the Chia Pet before it, Snuggies have become insane mutations of themselves, coming in zebra pattern, dog varieties, and the dreaded Peekaroo (not an actual Snuggie brand product but far more sinister) – just to name a few.

And you’d think with 47 varieties of Snuggies and various god awful commercials associated with each one, that’d be enough. You’d be wrong. The latest Snuggie commercial features a horrendous theme song, lame ass white guys raising the roof, and families of Snuggie adorned dumbasses “Getting on their Snuggie!”

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!!! There’s also a really horrible Snuggie Fan Club website where awful, horrible people can upload pictures of themselves and their dogs in Snuggies! Or maybe report on Snuggie bar crawls that they went on! There’s even a completely useless flash game in which you can upload pictures of your friends and have them dance in Snuggies!!! (except it’s completely broken and doesn’t work, I even opened it in Creative Suite and tried to get it to work with no success)

PLEASE STOP IT, SNUGGIES! YOU’RE KILLING US ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

The wonders of thrift shopping

Movember 2009 BEGINS!!!!!!!

Evan — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:19:44 +0000

MOVEMBER!

The full-month charity extravaganza known as Movember has begun. Throughout the month, men all over the world will grow mustaches (and the occasional beard) in an effort to raise awareness for men’s health issues with a primary focus on Testicular and Prostate Cancer. The international organizers of Movember have teamed up with the Lance Armstrong Foundation and Prostate Cancer Foundation and will be splitting the money raised by Movember between the two.

The Prostate Cancer Foundation will use the money raised by Movember to fund research to find better treatments and a cure for prostate cancer, while the Lance Armstrong Foundation will use the money raised by Movember to fund the LIVESTRONG Young Adult Alliance program, which has the goal of improving survival rates and quality of life for young adults with cancer between the ages of 15 and 40. They will provide additional funds toward research initiatives to further understand the biology of adolescent and young adult cancers.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the fun stuff. In an effort to raise some quality funds and have a supremely fun time this year, a few of us have banded together to form Boh Knows Movember, a rag-tag team of gents and ladies dedicated to raising funds for the charity, as well as throwing a kickass pub crawl along Fort Avenue on Saturday, November 21st (as was previously mentioned unofficially). The pub crawl costs $25 and will include $1 Bohs, T-shirts (while supplies last), door prizes at each and every bar and tons of bonus prizes throughout the day. A full list of other specials provided by each bar will hit our flagship site, movemberbaltimore.com very soon.

Full list of stuff of interest regarding prizes and fun:

First 25 registered for the pub crawl receive FREE AVIATOR SUNGLASSES ($18 value) from Diece Boutique in Federal Hill!
Free decorative mustaches for the ladies!
Over 50 gift certificates up for grabs to 15 local restaurants! (to be given away during event and throughout the month)
“Stache Bash” – an interactive showdown of the world’s greatest mustaches – coming soon!
Team member Gutter Magazine is running THE MANLY MOVIE COUNTDOWN – a countdown of the most manliest of manly movies leading up to the 21st, with a kickass prize for guessing the #1 movie!

So you’re ready to register for this awesome party, right? Great. Just head to movemberbaltimore.com and register (it’s the best way for us to know how many shirts to order, k?).

If you cannot attend the pub crawl, but would like to donate to the cause anyway, you can donate directly to the team here!

Additionally…

Join our Facebook group!

The pub crawl’s Facebook page!

Follow our tweets!

And once more with feeling, the official website.

I recommend STRONGLY you pay attention to any of those social media outlets and keep your eyes peeled for surprise contests and prizes throughout the month. This Movember is going to be fantastic.

NachoQuest 2009 – Max’s Taphouse

Evan — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:24:09 +0000

And lo, it is with great fatness that I present to you, my faithful nacho enthusiasts, the final official NachoQuest 2009 review. The winner of NachoQuest will be carefully considered and announced around the end of the month.

Ever since NachoQuest began some three-ish months ago, people have been telling me over and over and over and over that I ABSOLUTELY NEED TO TRY THE PULLED PORK NACHOS AT MAX’S TAPHOUSE (737 S BROADWAY, FELL’S POINT) BRO, THEY’RE THE TITS BRAH, OMG OMG OMG.

And for a while, I was pretty excited about doing it, too. They come with salsa, cheese, jalapenos, sour cream and onions AND your choice of chili or pulled pork. The kicker, unfortunately was that according to the website they’re $11 and there was no way I was going to eat them alone.

So, after a million weeks of not eating the nachos at Max’s I finally grabbed a few of my friends and we were off.

And then we were kicked in the balls by the reality of most restaurants not keeping their websites up to date: The nachos weren’t $11. They were $12.50!!!! Plus an extra $4 for chicken! Sorry folks, but that’s blindingly expensive for nachos.

….ESPECIALLY when we discovered a large amount of NAKED CHIPS in the pile. Not cool guys, not cool. Our other companions ordered a separate order of nachos with only chicken and the results were similar. Mostly covered and a decent sized pile, but with some very naked and very expensive nachos at the bottom.

At the end of the day, the pulled pork was tangy and tasty as promised and all of the other ingredients were fine and dandy. But these nachos are easily the most expensive ones I’ve had; the quality prevents them from getting a lower score but if you’re in the market for nachos, go somewhere less expensive.

Three out of five golden nachos (realistically 3.5 out of 5 but I’m too lazy to make the graphic)

Bacon Bloodies – now at Oregon Grille!

Pat — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:40:18 +0000

This was a joint venture between myself and Erik Brown, the bartender at the Oregon Grille. Once I learned that it was possible to create a bacon-infused vodka, I immediately thought, “That would make a bitchin’ Bloody Mary.” I finally got around to making the vodka a couple of weeks ago, and the drink had its debut today. It was a big hit.

Once you make your bacon-infused vodka (refer to previous link!), the hard part is over. All you have left to do is make your mix.

For his Bloody Mary mix, Erik works outside the realm of standard measurements. He adds enough of each ingredient until it tastes just right (I’ve found it’s better to make the mix to your personal taste anyway.)

You’re essentially going to combine tomato juice, prepared horseradish, Worcestershire Sauce, cracked black pepper, celery salt, Tabasco, and a little lime juice. Do feel free to go Avant Garde on the ingredients though, because you can easily balance out your mistakes. However, the mix will make or break this drink. If you don’t love the mix then start over.

To top this all off is a coated rim. It’s a combination of celery seed, Old Bay, and black pepper. To make it adhere to the glass, wipe the rim with a wedge of lime.

It’s finished off with a celery stalk and a few olives; 3 to be exact.

Cheers!

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-po-po-poker Face

Evan — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:37:46 +0000

I just keep waiting for South Park to not be funny after all these years, much in the way that The Simpsons jumped the shark literally 13 years ago. It just hasn’t happened, and this Cartman version of Poker Face has been stuck in my head FOR FOUR DAYS.

Harvey Fierstein covers Donna Lewis

NachoQuest 2009 – Kooper’s Tavern

Evan — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:32:47 +0000

Things I learned while sampling the nachos at Kooper’s: 1) The addition of chili, in some cases, can actually elevate the quality of an entire plate of nachos. 2) My camera phone is horrifically shitty and I should seriously just bring my regular camera with me everywhere.

At any rate, the nachos at Kooper’s Tavern (1702 Thames St., Fell’s Point) start at $8.95 and come with the usual cheeses, jalapenos, black olives, scallions, salsa and sour cream. Add grilled chicken, $11.95. Though while I was ordering, I was told that I could either top them with chili or chicken, and could opt for a half portion instead of a whole one. Being tricky like I am, I opted for a half portion with chili – which came to roughly the same price as the standard nachos run. I for some reason was an idiot and thought that half portion = half price – definitely not the case.

The nachos were well loaded with the ingredients listed and salsa came on the side, which I appreciate since you can opt to dump it on the pile or dip individual chips (though if done correctly, the salsa should generally be incorporated into everything else). I think alone these nachos would have been just ok – but the chili really made a total difference. It was sweet, barbeque flavored and loaded with sliced peppers and onions, which really added a lot of flavor – “Zazz” if you will – to the whole mix. The kicker: when I was done with every last chip, there was still chili left!

Long and the short of it, the portion was good and the price was fair. If it were a whole portion for the same price I’d be giving these nachos 5 golden chips so fast it would tear your face off and I’m reaaaaaalllly leaning toward it anyway, but on the whole I’ve had more for less elsewhere.

Four golden nachos out of five

(view the NachoQuest map so far here)

5 totally horrifying movies for Halloween Week

Evan — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:42:07 +0000

Being that it’s now officially the five days leading up to Halloween, I thought I’d share with you folks what I feel are five of the most horrifying feature flicks out there. I can safely say that watching these films in order once a day until Halloween will probably make you insane in some way shape or form. And a word of caution: these videos are pretty effing scary.

And without further ado…

5. The Thing

John Carpenter’s 1982 flick about a team of researchers in Antarctica that encounter a …Thing. I personally cannot believe that this movie is 27 years old and the special effects really and truly hold up. It’s an awesome, scary, aweseome movie.

4. Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Purists love the original, but 2004’s DotD (Zack Snyder) is like 1978’s DotD on crack cocaine and adrenaline snorted through three nostrils. The sense of urgency throughout the film is visceral, the zombies are absolutely horrifying and the story arc is one of the bleakest, most nihilistic things you’ll see in a while. It’s actually emotionally draining by the end of it. Watch this clip right up until 05:30, that’s all you’ll need.

3. Eraserhead

I’ve heard Eraserhead (1977, David Lynch) referred to as a lot of things; surrealist horror, that creepy movie with the baby, a David Lynch film, but Eraserhead’s use of sound and somewhat obscured black and white footage definitely contains some rather disturbing – if not at least uncomfortable – moments. Quite frankly if you watch this clip and it doesn’t disturb you to some degree you’re either a) Crazy or b) David Lynch.

2. The Shining

So many millions of words have been written about The Shining (1979, Stanley Kubrick) already that it seems fairly redundant to the max that this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, period. The performances by Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall are absolutely flawless. The score is amazing. There are literally hundreds of scenes in this movie to choose from which could be considered “American cinema classics.” I just plain love this movie and it scared the piss out of me the first time I saw it.

1. Begotten

Begotten (1991, E. Elias Merhige) is a movie that defies a whole slew of things: convention, logic, the senses, and good taste – just to name a few. While technically not a horror film and described by the director as “art,” you’d be hard pressed not to watch the first 10 minutes or so of Begotten (or this particular clip below) without feeling a cold shudder of some variety. I won’t go into the plot – mostly because there isn’t really a plot – but the events that take place in this film are really quite shocking. The editing, sound, and sense of total unfamiliarity throughout bearing witness to whatever the fuck is going on in this movie can and should leave you disturbed. I can personally attest to seeing Begotten for the first time in high school with two of my friends and I had to sleep on the floor of my own room with them after seeing it.

Since then, I’ve shown Begotten to numerous people and the reactions are always 50/50 – some think it’s the stupidest crap they’ve ever seen, while the others were visibly disturbed. If you get your hands on this movie, watch it in the dark and among friends.