We hear it often, people say “success breathes success”. Whether it be in the context of a business, organization, or a captain of a team. Without true leaders, success doesn’t permeate. One thing that has constantly amazed me about these leaders is that they don’t show arrogance. Nor do they neglect or belittle any work that is being executed by the workers they manage. A combination of God consciousness and humbleness, keeps them in check.

One brother I know, that is a president of a non profit in NY, Masha’Allah, he is involved with every task you can think of, from strategy to tactical work, he leads by example. You would think that a president of such an organization would be busy in meetings and wouldn’t be involved with day to day tasks that are often deferred to people underneath his leadership. Or he wouldn’t find time to visit his volunteers. It’s not the case, and to me he embodies the true qualities of a leader.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) articulated this beautifully when he said:

“Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects: a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for his subjects, a woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and of his children and is responsible for them, and the slave of a man is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you is a shepherd and responsible for his flock.” Source: Sahih Bukhari 6719

The reason I put the verse from the Qur’an above is because often times, you find some individuals who claim themselves as “leaders”, get trapped in their own egotistic bubble as their organizations advance. They get too caught up in sending orders while chilling. Not practicing what they preach. They forget when things are going well, it was team work, or when things fail, they blame those who they manage. True leaders always thank Allah, then give others credit first when things are going well and take blame first when failures occur.

Being in a position of leadership is a big test, if you screw up, you take others with you. It’s no coincidence the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) produced extraordinary people like Abu Bakr, Umar, Ali (may Allah be pleased with them all). He wasn’t just telling others to feed the hungry, he was doing it himself. Actions speak louder than words, and when leaders rise to the occasion, they leave a lasting positive influence that continues.

I’ll end with a quote from Abu Bakr (R) when he elected as the Caliph:

“O People! I have been chosen by you as your leader, although I am no better than any of you. If I do any wrong, set me right. Listen, truth is honesty and untruth is dishonesty. The weak among you are the powerful in my eyes, as long as I do not give them their dues. The powerful among you are weak in my eyes, as long as I do not take away from them what is due to others.

May Allah (swt) give all of our leaders guidance. Ameen.

Please keep me in your dua’s. Jazak’Allah Khair.

The other day I was on the subway and I noticed an advertisement that immediately got me thinking about extremism in society. (Check it out below)

While the word “extremism” is usually talked about in the context of violence, we often fail to observe other areas in life where individuals or societies go to extremes and avoid moderation. Perhaps, the advertisement could have been even more blunt and rephrased as “Obsessive Compulsive Gambling Starts Here”.

What was even more disturbing was right next to this ad, another ad had the message “Live In The Moment”.

There’s no doubt marketers exploit human desires and directly blast messages to encourage extreme consumption. I remember a few years ago when I visited Las Vegas, thanks to a free trip my relatives took me on which was totally random.

I recall, walking through the casinos and not seeing any concept of time present in the minds of gamblers. There weren’t any clocks around and people were glued to their slot machines. The environment in these places are created to have people fully immersed, so I wasn’t totally surprised. What was even worst was if you lowered your gaze, you would see haraam fliers on the floor. Chill!

However, it wasn’t totally bad, they had a nice masjid not too far from all the fitna, where I ran into Nouman Ali Khan giving a Friday sermon. I’m never going back there again insha’Allah.

Anyway, getting back to finding moderation, Islam encourages us (mankind) to stay moderate in life and not transgress the boundaries. Allah (swt) has set up a balance in the world, and when we disrupt that balance, it only hurts us.

Personally, when I hear the words such as balance, moderation and normal also come to mind. Allah (swt) puts into context how moderation plays a role in the lifestyle of a believer in several contexts, one of which includes how we should spend our wealth. Check it:

“And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate”.

To bounce back to the casino example, gamblers are inclined to not spend their wealth moderately. Getting caught in habits like this puts a person in a vicious cycle where they aren’t conscious about consequences but rather seek immediate pleasure/instant gratification. 

In conclusion, as Muslims, we must avoid going to “extremes” if we desire to stay on the “sirat al mustaqim”.

*Insha’Allah I’ll be putting out another post related to this in the future as there is much more related to this topic. Sorry I haven’t been writing as of late, please keep me in your dua’s. May Allah swt reward all of you. Ameen.

We last left off at watching a sister handle some junior high school kids on the train. How did she take care of it, and how should you do the same in case you ever become a witness to bullying?

Well, when it comes to etiquettes, first and foremost, always keep in mind that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the best of creation and we should strive to follow his example, bi’ithnillah. For the purposes of stopping bullies, it is important to be calm, respectful of everyone equally, but it is also necessary to be absolutely stern, because the bully needs to understand the seriousness of the consequences of their actions. So in order to strike the perfect balance, one must be both soft and strict at the same time.

Things to keep in mind:

DOs

1. Stop the bullying in its tracks. Try to make eye contact with the victim. After observing from a distance, whether or not you feel comfortable, get between the victim and the bully to stop farther interaction.
2. Point out what bullying is and its harms. The victim might not even realize they are being bullied, especially if it is being done by their “friend(s).” The bully might think it is okay to behave this way, but make sure they know it is not okay. Use simple language. (See below for examples)
3. Show support for the victim. The victim should get a sense of self-control. We do not want the victim to be ridiculed on a new front. We want the victim to leave the situation with their dignity intact.

DON’Ts

1. Do not immediately begin to ask the reasons for bullying.
2. Do not try to be a mediator by forcing the two sides to come to an agreement, or become friends. This is a long term issue and, again, we don’t want the victim to lose dignity in any of this.
3. Do not give the bully an attitude. You will not only lose their respect, but you will also forfeit the opportunity to change the bully. We must respect all human beings as human beings, and advise others to good and forbid evil, but this must be done with wisdom!

Some of us might even have been bullied in the past. So when you confront a situation like this as an outsider now, remember what it was like and try to understand what the victim of the bullying is going through. Imagine how embarrassing it must be for a complete stranger to step in for you. Also, try and understand the psychological and social implications so you can better explain them yourself when calmly reprimanding the bully.
• “It is not okay to bully anyone for absolutely any reason.”
• “Bullying can ruin another person’s life. No one wants to be responsible for something like that”
• “Do you know how many young people commit suicide because of bullying? Do you want to be held responsible for that?”
• “That behavior is absolutely unacceptable, bullying is traumatizing.”

Don’t worry about not sounding cool enough. The important thing is to have the bullying stop and to get the message across to the bully while supporting the victim.

What to do you think? What would include or take out from these suggestions? Have you ever been bullied or been a bully?

Looking forward to your responses inshaAllah!

So I commute a lot. Every once in awhile I witness the loud manifestations of young adults in junior high or high school on the train. Sometimes, I laugh in my head at the things I hear. Other times, I just shake my head and wonder what this world is coming to. Nothing I see or hear ever compels me to action.

Take the good and leave the bad, I say.

Well… a sister was on the train just yesterday when she witnessed a group of co-eds bullying/sexually harassing a kid who looked like he could be a South-Asian Muslim.

They took his hat from him, threw it back and forth, until one of the girls caught it and wouldn’t give it to him. He was clearly uncomfortable with the inappropriate touching and blowing kisses, but he laughed uneasily along with their taunts anyway. He pleaded with her, trying to bring the focus back to his hat. Eventually it got to the point where he was upset and had to move far from the group.. twice. One of the boys in the group would still go up to him, talk to him, then come back to the group making fun of him for being a prude.

How many young Muslim boys in his situation might have reacted differently, acting on the taunts and participating in vulgar activities instead of running away from them? My heart broke thinking, with the lens of hindsight of the typical high school experience, how this good kid will be stuck in a group of friends later on in life that he, because of peer pressure at this age, might just accept as American and normal. It really saddens me to see young kids, especially young Muslim kids, in this hyper-sexualized society having to deal with their peers, who, for more or less, have not learned any sense of morality or value for their own well being. But even many conservative, non-Muslim Americans feel the same way about the growing sexualization of our youth.

The underlying societal issues aside, what of the bullying? It must have been really uneasy watching the kid get picked on over and over again, even when he had moved away from the group several times. Eventually the sister walked across the train car to where he was sitting in hopes of giving him some friendly advice and a show of support (with the intention of doing it in the coolest, most un-embarrassing way possible, of course!).

As soon as she uttered her first few words, the four or five kids from his group shuffled over to tease him again, continuing their vulgar taunts. So she had enough and just gave them all a polite, mini-lecture on sexual harassment and bullying. They all got off at the next stop and just before leaving, the sister apologized because she didn’t want to embarrass him. The young man, surprisingly, thanked her.

Did the bullies learn anything from the sister? With the eye-rolling one of the girls was giving her, we can’t really know for sure. At least the sister didn’t just sit there and watch…

Some discussion points:
1. Should the sister have intervened? How would you have dealt with the situation differently?
2. Are you a Muslim teenager, or do you have teenage siblings/cousins, going through similar situations? How do you handle being bullied and/or being sexually harassed while balancing your deen?
3. How do we instill a sense of self-worth and confidence in the young adults of our ummah?

Comment below insha’Allah!

(Part Two: The Etiquette’s of Not Minding Your Own Beeswax… coming soon!)

“If an ad campaign is built around a weak idea — or as is so often the case, no idea at all — I don’t give a damn how good the execution is, it’s going to fail.”
-Morris Hite

Advertising is everywhere.

It’s almost impossible to block it out of your life; You turn on your T.V., you’ll see ads. Browsing through the web, you’ll see ads. While watching your favorite show, you might now see clever product placements by brands to build an emotional connection with their target audience. Scrolling through your news feed on facebook or twitter, you’ll see promoted tweets/posts. In fact, the average person sees about 5,000 ads a day; indeed a lot of mental clutter.

The objective of any advertisement is to call people to a certain product, service, or need. Undeniably, advertising has the power to influence human behavior from consumption to shaping perceptions on politics, religion, groups, ideas, you name it. No wonder why the current presidential campaign ad spending has already exceeded a whopping $500 million!.

Now with advertising, comes responsibility. Any ad campaign that’s ran should have a degree of authenticity or at the least, convey a message in a civilized manner.

You’ve probably heard of the phrase or practice of “False Advertising”. Mobile giant Nokia was recently exposed for falsely misleading consumers about their PureView camera technology in their new flagship device. After they got caught, they did go ahead and conduct an ethics review.

Anyway, while false advertising is mostly used in the context of consumer affairs, it’s sad to see this practice of sending misleading and deceptive information present in other types of ad campaigns as well.

From time to time, we come across an ad campaign that makes us stop and think twice. This happened to me when I heard about the newest campaign being funded and ran through subways by the ‘American Freedom Defense Initiative’.

It’s disappointing that I needed to have a post on my blog dedicated to this, but it goes to show what type of world we’re currently living in.

Take a look at the ad below for yourself:

There is no denying freedom of speech certainly goes hand in hand with advertising, however it’s senseless to present a religious concept such as “Jihad” without conveying what it actually means and using it without it’s proper context.

Conversely, here is an ad campaign titled “You Deserve to Know” that was designed by Islamic Circle of North America (NY), which were placed on the NYC Subway in 2008. It is clearly noticeable that these ads were not offensive rather they deliberately encouraged viewers to research and come to their own conclusions about certain topics/concepts related to Islam.

When running an ad campaign, one must research their audience meticulously otherwise their own campaign can be turned turn against them. For example Newsweek magazine recently ran a cover on the topic of “Muslim Rage”. Social media users used Newsweek’s own hashtag (#MuslimRage) to mock the stereotypical notion of the Muslim world being violent and always ready to erupt.

In this case, New Yorkers who travel the Subway daily, are bombarded with ads may not appreciate an ad which attempts to “shove” an idea or product down their throats. In addition, New Yorkers are very diverse and are sensitive to hate speech, and may just react contrary to how  the  American Freedom Defense Initiative intended.

However, as Morris Hite highlighted, any ad campaign that’s built on a weak idea will fail. And the campaign recently executed by the American Freedom Defense Intiative will indeed fail, while the voices of justice, intelligence and morality will prevail.

I apologize if I rushed through this post, but I’ll end with an ayah (verse)  from the Qur’an where Allah (swt ) commands the believers:

“And do not mix the truth with falsehood or conceal the truth while you know [it].”

One of things I often see in the world of marketing is deception or setting unrealistic expectations for a client. This is particularly evident when sales people are out persuading their prospective clients they should buy the product or service they are pitching.

What’s interesting is that Shaytan creates this false hope or motivation that you need to say anything that comes to your mind to get the sell. First thing is we as Muslims believe our rizq is written. Secondly, with that belief, one should consciously try their best to not mislead a potential client. If your thinking “hey, I should say whatever to get this client on board to get my money” then you’re only fooling yourself.

I’ve heard a story about Ali (R) which directly relates to this. I’ve heard it in many different versions but basically Ali (R) once requested a man to watch his mule (donkey) as he went into the masjid to pray. When he came out, he noticed the man had stolen his mule. He went looking for it into the souk (bazaar) and noticed someone else had it in their possession.

When he confirmed it was his and the mule was purchased for two dinars, Ali (R) said he was going to give the man two dinars for watching his mule. Instead the man chose to go down the haram route and get his two dinars the wrong way.

Sorry if I wasn’t clear with correlating that above story to my original point, but basically the lesson is it’s up to you how you want to pursue your rizq. You can go through halal or haram means to attain it but ultimately it’s been decreed, however, Allah swt has given us the intelligence and moral consciousness to choose how.

The Sunnah makes it all clear, our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

A truthful and trustworthy trader will be in the company of the prophets, the very truthful, and the martyrs (Tirmidhī, Dāramī, Dāraquṭnī).

Lastly, I know rizq is a comprehensive concept in Islam, I’m writing from the perspective of monetary gain.

Until next time insha’Allah. Take Halal Risk to Get Your Rizq!

I came across some inspiring and refreshing advice about the blessed month of Ramadan from Sheikh ibn al Jawzi (May Allah swt be pleased with him) that I wanted to share with all of you. Sheikh ibn Al Jawzi was an Islamic scholar whose family traces their lineage back to that of Abu Bakr (RA). He belonged to the Hanbali school. It has been recorded that he has written over 300+ texts in his lifetime.

Anyways, check out an excerpt below taken from one of his books. I found it today randomly searching the web and it really had me thinking about the remaining time left in Ramadan and how to really take advantage of it insha’Allah.

‘… Where are those who fast and where are those who pray by night? Where are those who obey their Lord and where are those who work righteousness? Where are those who are foremost and where are are the humble ones? Where are those who remember (their Lord) and where are those devoted to Him? Where are the truthful and where are the patient? Where are the charity-givers? Where are those who enjoin good, who save the troubled ones and who forbid the wrong? Where are those who heed contemplation and who listen to good advice and life-lessons? By Allah, they have indeed gone with the Salihin (righteous), returned with the Mu’minin (believers), settled with the Anbiya’ (Prophets) and taken residence with the Siddiqin (truthful ones). But us, we remain behind with the ignorant, have settled with the wrong-doers and have taken the heedless as our guides…

Fasting is the shield of nations, protecting from the Hellfire
And fasting is a fortress for whoever fears that fire
Fasting is a covering for all the people of goodness
Those who fear the burden of blame and sinfulness
And this month is the month of the Lord of the Throne
A Most Merciful Lord, Who conceals the heavy sins & burdens
So therein have fasted men who thus profited
Their reward lies with the Exalted and Forgiving One
And so they came to settle in Everlasting Gardens
Surrounded by maidens, and rivers and plantations…

So glad tidings to those who obey the Most Merciful King in this month of Mercy, this month of Ramadan. They bore patience over a few days, and thus long-lasting mercy and abundant blessings came after them and pursued them. Every time you do good in this month, you shall be rewarded for the rest of your life because righteousness is a habit and evilness is mere stubbornness.

Where are you O’ fasting one, who prays by night? Come forth to goodness and you shall triumph with everlasting happiness! Trade with your Lord and you shall profit, work with Him and you shall be successful, apologize and He shall accept your apology, seek His forgiveness and He shall forgive your sins, draw close to Him and He shall alleviate your suffering, ask Him from His Bounties and He shall expand your provisions, repent to Him and He shall increase your portion (in life).

O my dear brother, in this month all faults and mistakes are concealed, all souls and hearts are softened, sins and burdens are forgiven, and Allah `azza wa jall relieves every sad and troubled one. He says to His angels, ‘O My Angels, look at those dry tongues, how they become moist with My Remembrance. Look at those hard eyes, how they soften and weep out of fear of Me, and look at those delicate feet planted firmly at the stations of prayer out of desire for Me!’ O my dear brother, whenever you give food to others in this month for the Sake of Allah the Lord of the heavens and the earth, you shall be raised to high ranks in the lofty grounds of Paradise, and you will be clothed with complete goodness and stripped of all sin…’

[Ibn al-Jawzi, ‘Bustan al-Wa’idhin wa Riyadh al-Sami’in’ Pp. 185-186]

Your future self?

As Muslims, we know that it is important for us to stay conscious of our actions, manners, speech, and intentions. As Imam Khalid Latif recently said at his Ramadan Prep class,

“A Muslim is never the same person two days in a row.“

But when every day seems to slip through our fingers, how do we even know where we stand? What qualifiers and markers do we have?

A very simple solution is to keep a diary.

How do we know they are effective? Well, ask anyone who has ever been on a diet and kept a food journal– it helps them see what they really consume compared to what they thought they consumed, eventually allowing them to have a balanced, healthy, lifestyle. When you reflect on what you really did and felt throughout a day compared to what you think you did, it can help you to eventually maintain some order in your life, too.

Not too long ago, I realized how much I needed to pick back up on journal writing. I looked back at my older entries and saw what a mess my life had been compared to how much more at peace I am now, alhumdulillah. I revisited emotions of Annam-Past, the dua’s I made, and all my mistakes. I realized that getting all my thoughts and feelings out was an absolutely necessary process for me to move on, refine myself, and be where I am today. And you know how people hit a plateau when dieting? I think people can hit a plateau with personal growth, too. Dumping your thoughts and reflecting back is an excellent way to break through that so you can continue to grow.

Now, some of you may be averse to keeping diaries or journals for many reasons. The most common complaint: “I don’t have time.” There’s a neat, private online journal called Oh Life that solves this problem for you. All you do is hit reply on an email and you make an entry on the website. But nothing beats a good, old-fashioned #2 pencil with a black & white notebook!

Allah mentions in the Quran things we take for granted in our everyday lives: how the earth provides vegetation and animals for food, that people wake up after sleeping, that we are given mates, etc. The verses that mention these things are then followed by,

“verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.”

Allah wants us to reflect, even on the mundane. So let us be among those who reflect regularly inshAllah.

This is a reminder to myself first.
May Allah swt help us to be better Muslims. Ameen.

The most shocking stat to me was that 89% of mobile users recognize ads! I guess it’s becoming easier for brands since these super smart phones have screens that are getting ridiculously big. Kind of defeats the purpose, you might as well carry around a tablet.

Hopefully the next iphone 5 doesn’t exceed 4 inches in display because my hands aren’t as big as Hakeem Olajuwon.

Click on the image below to get a larger view.

Assalamualaikum,

It’s that time of the year again! Finals are just around the corner and you probably have to deal with a lot more than just studying and writing papers. You may have to prepare for an an emotional roller coaster if things get rough. But remember Allah through it all and you will succeed, inshAllah. Even for those of you who don’t have to worry about those lovely exams and papers, this is always a helpful reminder:

“And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him.” -Quran 65:3

As a side note, before any particularly difficult test, a good way to boost your confidence is to repeat to yourself  “La Hawla Wa La Quwwata illa Billah” — There is no power and strength except with Allah. Oh, and don’t forget to start your papers by saying “Bismillah” !

Just some helpful reminders for all of you and myself as well.

Peace.