♥ Life at best is BitterSweet ♥

i miss u

2012-01-24T02:37:00.000+08:00

i seriously do...

this cny is so different without u...

it seems to be quieter than previous years...

and it keeps me thinking about everything that happened to us.

i know, i should not bring all these relationship things up at this moment but...

i couldn't stop myself from thinking about it.

and asking myself why...

why things turned out this way?

why did u ignore me?

why did u just give up the relationship like that?

why did u have to call her and invite her out that day?

why did u have to fetch her personally?

why did u have to be that close to her when u know what type of person she is?

why did u have to encounter such tragic incident?

why didn't u call me earlier that day?

why...why??

i know...as long as u r okay, everything else doesn't matter.

but, what about us?

what am i to u?

am i just....nothing to u that u can simply just forget about everything we came thru?

i know...i know..

i'm being sensitive and thinking too much about all these.

i js couldn't help myself...

i hate that i miss u....

这不是简单的快乐！:)

2012-01-16T22:45:00.001+08:00

刚从医院回来。
真的很开心！
知道你康复的状况，我真的放下心头大石！
我试着叫你，你没反应！
医生说需要时间！
加油吧！
我永远都是你的好朋友！
在旁边支持你的！
一定要加油！
我们都爱你！

振作！

2012-01-15T23:38:00.001+08:00

今天与姐姐到了医院看你。

姐说你的气色不错，看了你那还很帅气的脸，跟头发这时还是spike着的样子，姐松了口气。

她说，还好情况比她想象中好！听了姐这么说，我也松了口气！

虽然我们不是什么医生，更不了解医学知识，但是这个时候，以好的方面想可以让我们更坚强，更放心！

护士那时不愿透露你的状况，毕竟我跟姐都是外人，这我明白！

看到你的手一直移动着，我很开心！

然后很小声的对你说话，你这时的手就不动了！

我就知道你听到我说话！

离开了医院，去找clarice她们，去到empires跟sunway pyramid闲逛，然后看电影。

第一次看电影却不了解电影的内容。

根本就没心在看。

auntie说你很发了点烧。但他们说这很正常，因为抵抗力弱，细菌容易感染。

你睡够了哦，明天该起床了！！！

Desmond今天也来看你了！

你再不作sales，他可是会拉你耳朵！！！

一点痛没关系的！！！

忍忍吧！ok?

他们说新年一定来看你！

他们说要嬴你的钱哦！！！

明天ryan也会来看你！

所以你一定要赶快醒来！

一言为定！

对不起

2012-01-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

我真的不敢相信自己的眼睛跟耳朵！
我更不敢相信躺在床上就是你！！！！
我的心碎了！真的碎成一大片。。。
为什么要浆逞强？？？
为什么不舒服还要出去玩？？？？
为什么都不联络我？？？？
为什么？？？？为什么？？？！！！！！！
对不起。。。。
对不起！
在你一个人受伤时，我竟然在外面！

真的对不起。。。
讲10个对不起，1000000个对不起，你会好回吗？
坚强振作点！！！
说好要一起去外国玩的，所以，你一定要好起来！！！
我会在你身边陪伴你！
一起努力一起加油好吗？？？
不要骗我！！！
答应我的事一定要做！！！
我爱你！

maybe we aren't meant to be :(

2012-01-11T00:54:00.002+08:00

i couldn't fall asleep!
it was a bad night...the worst one perhaps!
didn't know things turned out this way...at this time.
i tried so hard to not think of it but what happened just now and before this are like videos flashing in my head and repeating over and over again.
maybe, things are meant to be this way.
or this is the solution?
i told myself to stay strong and not to cry over it and i failed all the times.
i know i'm not that strong...i cry easily...
and there's ntg to heal this broken heart but times...so...how long can it be?
i thought things would work...
i try to compromise...i try to satisfy and adjusting myself to be the person u want me to be.
i started forgetting the person i used to be and at times i wonder..."what are these for?"
i know, i'm not the perfect person, not with the attitude nor good looking girl u are looking for!
i did try to change...to be the person u always wanted..
i know, the changes weren't good enough...
u will never satisfied...
i'm just tired to be someone else...tired to do things for people...tired to have to think of someone's feeling before doing anything.
all i want to be...is...myself...doing things that i want...with whoever...wherever...whenever...
u enjoy the freedom...and yet i'm locked and grounded.
i know, all u ever wanted is to have someone to take care of u, treats u good, be with u all the time...
i mean, who the fuck on earth doesn't want it?
we all human, we all want the attention from someone we love...not taking control of their lives.
u can have great times hanging out with ur friends...
so what bout me? do i get to enjoy such freedom? frankly, NO!
i dont live for u...i do love u but i hate adapting myself to what u want.
take care my love.
sorry for not being the perfect girl that u always wanted me to be.
i tried...but i'm tired of trying.
i hate the changes...
the changes in me and the way u treat me
i seriously love the moment we spent a year ago...everything was so wonderful and lovely.
now, i just bored each day.
i knew this love will never be the same again...
i knew the feelings are fading away.
still, thanks for being with me throughout my ups and downs.
u were once a great companion to me...but maybe, not the ideal one...i'm not sure.
i'd rather be ur friend, because u love ur friend more than ur girl friend.
i just do not want to drop a single tear for LOVE anymore...
this rollercoaster relationship just couldn't go any further...
to whom it may concerned,
thanks, and i loved u!

2012

2012-01-02T23:20:00.001+08:00

woooots!
first of all, i would like to wish everyone a

'HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

its abit late i know! :D
i just came back yesterday from my new year trip and slept right away until this morning and i spent the whole day helping my parents at the boutique!
the trip was FUN! :D will blog about it soon!

anyway, my holidays ended!!! FML
will ve working tmr! FML
will be stressing again about sales and all! FML
LOL, am still excited about it coz...NEW YEAR, NEW SALES, NEW EVERYTHING!
so tmr's gonna be a good day to kickstart my 2012 first sales figure!
^^
this year, I'M GONNA WORK MY ASS OFF!
alright! sleeping mode on!
have a great day working people! :D

FB timeline cover

2011-12-30T04:42:00.003+08:00

HOLY...
seriously.......
i didn't just spend 5 hours editing my facebook timeline cover!!!
no way!!!!

and yes i did!

taadaaa~~~~~~~

the outcome was way satisfying! of course i didn't snap that background picture, i actually grabbed from deviantart.com.
alright, i'm having this freaking headache right now as i only slept 4 hours last night so...time to recharge!
yawn...
night world!

<3

i'm dreaming of a white Christmas

2011-12-29T03:17:00.000+08:00

hi, i'm gonna blog about my Christmas celebration! :D

well, not much wordings as i have no motivation for blogging so i'll just post some pictures for the sake of updating my blog! he he!

and the whole uploading took me DAMN 30 minutes to be done!

STREAMYX Y U NO TURBO?

anyway the pictures below were taken on the Christmas Eve.

we have no plan initially so to avoid having plain bread with hot milo watching some HBO Christmas movies and feeling so forever alone, we decided to celebrate at Pavilion where, i supposed, has the greatest xmas deco and the best Xmas ambience to hangout at this point of time in KL.

OTW to Pavilion KL

there definitely have big big balls to play with.

so we took pictures with the colourful balls! :D

my bf was acting very gay that night i wonder why!

but at least he took pics with me so...it kinda convinced me that he's bi! hmmp...

and guess what, i actually met and took pictures with 2 SHERYL that night! what a coincident!

Sheryl (1) + Cheryl

Sheryl (2) + Cheryl

hehe, this picture is to show my awesome make up! hehehee!

ok la not really awesome but improved much!

and FML i actually think this pic is better this way than before edited! FML max

so, we then went to this Bangkok something something in Pavilion for drinking session.

Sheryl (1) + Maine

The MEN

Femme Fatales

i ordered these xmas cupcakes from a friend and er, none of us actually likes it cuz the topping are too sweet! and i doubt it is edible because, it's like eating sugars + water colors!

but the filler are not bad! :D

the next day, i didn't go out for any awesome Christmas celebration as i was TOO SICK to even walk out from the room.

so basically i spent my Christmas on my bed and it felt good too.

u know, sometimes, i just want to do things simple rather than hang out in the club and sandwiched with all sweaty ppl and also dealing with jams.

so friends,

Have yourself a merry little christmas, Let your heart be light,
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight~

lastly, BIG SMOOCHES to all of u!

.....???!!!

okok! picture of me then!

hehe nighty!

*guess i'm just a little too sensitive sometimes! girls tend to be jealous and make comparisons when they feel uneasy and insecure about anything. well, maybe, too much have came to my mind and kinda acted irrationally. i'm sorry for the lousy Christmas Eve! i'm sure the coming New Year celebration will DEFINITELY be the best one! :D

December blues~

2011-12-07T22:04:00.003+08:00

wasn't feeling quite good till now as i suffered from diarrhoea and high fever right after that 3days already.

but definitely better than the first day when i visited the toilet every hour.

and to that asshole who tried to ruin my mood today...

totally love the image attached above.

so, i'll be back working tomorrow...after all the holidays and mc.

feeling kinda lazy to wake up early to work but well, thats life! :D

sometimes wondering......

sigh...~~

anyway, sales is bad as usual..

sometimes i just want to shout...

yyyy???

another good thing to be happy about is getting year end BONUS~~~

$$$
$$$$$
$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$

$$$$$$$$$$$

$$$$$$$$

$$$$$

$$$

HOWEVER, the cycle of money goes around like...

BROKE = December = BONUS = more $$$ = more SPENDING = BROKE

so end of the day...i'm still broke!!! T T...

WELL AGAIN...

Y NO SPENDING WHEN U ARE EARNING?

so...

wahahahahahahaha!

DONT YOU JUST LOVE ALL THESE RAGE EMOTICONS???

done with the rants.

ohhhhh gosh...10.30pm already..

imma go to bed now...

NIGHT SWEETIES!

fml

2011-11-30T02:45:00.001+08:00

hate everything i'm encountering now!

simply just...HATE THEM ALL!

tired of all these shits....what's the point of all sadness and tears?

November blue

2011-11-13T21:33:00.002+08:00

it's been months since i last updated and i thought i should clean up a lil on my deserted blog.

first of all, i would like to make this special announce,

I'M PREGNANT!

just kidding! it's not funny i know!

something better than me getting pregnant is that i'm finally a confirmed PBB staff!

* applause*

after 6 months of....hmmp, not very good sales, i managed to achieve 50% of the prorated achievement which was way tougher than i thought.

stressful as well! :(

*long sigh*

i think i'm pretty unsure about the things i really want and the way that leads me to my goals.

i think i've not done my very best towards everything.

confidence, self-esteem, determination, perseverance are all i'm lacking of.

last month i did the least sales of all...40k....in 1 freaking month!

that was a disaster which dragged my prorated percentage to 39% now!

oh great, so now i'll have to make 300k in these 2 months in order to achieve 60% of my target.

which is..........pretty tough i guess! still, no matter how hard it is, I MUST do my best.

sales are tough, so work things out, if u success, u can success in every other field.

that's the whole point.

250k to go for November!

GOOD LUCK Cheryl!

Do ur best!

be the best!

forever alone

2011-08-28T20:31:00.005+08:00

SAD!!!

everyone's checking in LCCT and KLIA and off they go for a great escape during Raya and Merdeka holidays.

whereas me...................sitting at home facebook'ing and i'll have to work tomorrow!

sighhhhhhhh! #foreveralone

mnuahahahah! i'm so talented #proud

was bored and drew this foreveralone myself! ><

sigh~~~!

working tomorrow!

grrrr................

have a nice weekdays people!

Selamat Hari Raya and Merdeka.

lastly Happy Holiday!

五首李圣杰的歌

2011-08-17T14:15:00.003+08:00

不知何时开始喜欢李圣杰的歌！

也不知何时习惯用华文写日记！

可能华语可以诠释自己的心情！

英文也可以啦但本人英文超烂所以写作能力也很差！

(其实华文也是一样烂！没差啦！)

哦对，其实以前还瞒不喜欢他的歌！

觉得每首歌都写得很悲哀！

但听了几次却越听越爱！

本人最爱五首李圣杰的歌是。。。

亲爱的

mv超烂的！找不到这首歌的完整mv!不过很好听！

“爱要爱到八分，请留给自己两分，亲爱的，这样的爱才能爱得完整！”

爱别人胜于爱自己或对爱情过份付出与牺牲而忽略了身边最重要的东西才是最傻的！

擦身而过

“他不会是个好男人，也不会是个好情人！”

曾经觉得这首很烦！因为电台24/7都在播放，ktv也唱翻了，MV一直重播，够烦！

但现在重听，还是觉得好听！

手放开

比痴心绝对更好听的一首歌！瞒经典！haha!

"感情就像候车月台，有人走有人来，我的心是一个站牌，写着等待！“

原谅我没有说

最最最最最最最最最最最最最赞的一首！

每次听了都想哭！

歌词跟曲子也写得太感动了！

我是第一次听了这首歌，让我回想了很多开心与不开心的回忆！

然后，哽咽了！

超催泪的一首歌！

”原谅我没有说，我给你的并不多，拥有过却没有把握！"

关于你的歌

终于一首没那么悲的歌。

很轻快，瞒容易唱的一首！

嘻嘻！

一命二运三风水

2011-08-13T02:01:00.001+08:00

刚刚去作了紫微斗数排盘！其实对于讲师算出来的说法还是半信半疑！真的是会像所说的那么好吗？我真的不确定！但有些部分其实还瞒准确的啦！就像她所谓的乱花钱就真的很准！也就是为了这个紫微斗数花了整百块！心瞒疼的！皮包就这样瘦了两公斤！是我对不起你，皮包，让你受苦了！唉。噢对，也买了叫什么磁性水晶的手链！唉。够力！

其实还瞒喜欢的！嘻嘻！

好啦！要睡了！
Have a nice weekend!

ohlalala

2011-08-09T19:12:00.003+08:00

ouch!!!!!

my body is aching like...........it's breaking into pieces!

had dance practice hours ago.

i was chosen to perform for the bank annual dinner coming this...October...or November i forgotten when.

u guys must be laughing! muhahahahah! ya, it's funny!

in fact, all new staffs MUST perform!

i was not in the mood to participate in the performance as my sales will totally get affected by it because i'll have lots of practices, training, meeting and unnecessary event and stuff to do.

but hmmp, few attempts to convince my branch manager about not performing failed so, yeah, i'm going! = ='''

so i'll think optimistically that this dance practice will help me release stresses and also give me no excuse/reason to skip exercising.

good for health mah~~~~~

haiz, so business is going to be really bad these days!

the market is so uncertain right now and everyone is afraid to step into equity funds.

this month is..so..dead!

well, i'll have to say, guys, please don't be afraid!

equity funds are for long term! :D

so, no worries, whatever comes down, will goes up! :D

it's only the matter of time!

hehe!

and yeah, i'm listening to The Click Five songs!

woohoo! i just miss the first time i met them in Sungai Wang back in 2006.

the crowd was really really dull, and i think not many people actually know them besides babe and i hahahahahaha!

well, got la, few groups of TCF fans were as crazy as us!

aww..haiz~~~ why Eric left the band?????????????????????????????#cannotacceptthetruth

kthxbai

i want a great escape!

2011-08-07T16:35:00.003+08:00

HELLO!!!!!!!!!

i can totally see how dusty this page is right now!

well well well, this will just be a short update!

life is.................................so so atm!

sales were so screwed last 2 months!

i know i didn't do the best and neglected the opportunities i have!

appraisal is next month and i'm left with a month time to keep up my pro rated percentage!

sigh!

this month will be one hectic month for me to just do whatever i can to keep up that pro ratings!

600k of outstanding amount and it's gonna be difficult...VERY difficult!

what to do? add oil lo! :(

but i think i'm fortunate enough, as friends and colleagues never fail to provide me as many resources they could give and i'm glad!

i'll try my best this month, i mean, i WILL do my best this month!

hoping that this month will not be the worst and the last month for me to stay.

life is kinda rollercoaster these days!

but i'm slowly learning to deal with all difficulties and preparing for the worse!

happy moments faded really fast!

but i appreciate every single thing that comes in my life that made all simple day so wonderful!

friends come and go and yet i dont hate them for leaving the friendship but instead, they made me stronger and makes me appreciate what i have now even more! :D

my convocation ceremony falls on 24th September and i cant wait to put on that huge gown and of course meeting all my awesome classmates again!

guys, lets have a drinking or mamak session after that ok!

AND please...NO EXCUSES to leave earlier or what so ever!

haiz~

good luck! XOXO

hmmp

2011-04-15T22:54:00.003+08:00

yawn...am now at FTZ Subang Jaya.

got nothing better to do (no aika sea here T T) so i decided to blog. :D

just some quick rants in this post.

today was not a very good day.

as i got scolded by a stupid buffalo when i was submitting customers' application forms at the PB Mutual.

i was talking to the girl sitting at the counter about where and who should i refer to for the submission and he thought i was trying to cut the queue and then shouted over there so loud infront of everyone.

oh please, did u reserve ur name at the counter at the first place?

and, was there any regulation stating that no one can go to the counter to ask questions?

stupid! if u r in a hurry, u can at least tell me nicely and not yelling like that.

seriously spoiled my mood after coming back and luckily it was already 3.30pm and also, it's FRIDAY!

sigh!

but i think i'm much fortunate than other tellers and the customer service officers.

as i've seen customers yelling scolding and cursing them for rejecting their transactions for some particular reasons. crazy!

i know u guys are being impatience but, please la, dont yelling and shouting in the banking hall it's super embarrassing, MALU dont u think so?

= =''' if u are unhappy, just freaking send out a complain letter to the HQ and rant about it. = =

or freaking post a freaking blog post on a freaking blog like what i'm currently doing.

haiz....

alright la, thats all for tonight. i'm sleepy already!

night all!

luck swings like the mood

2011-04-14T22:01:00.002+08:00

wonder why bad times only happen after good. :(

sigh, was so happy for doing something proud and then today, everything just gone the other way round.

well, my fault actually, so, yeah! :/

cheer up, it's FRIDAY tmr! time flies so fast i thought i did the same post about Friday moments ago. lol

FRIDAY FRIDAY!

hoping the best tomorrow!

u guys too!

it's FRiDAY...FRIDAY..

2011-04-08T19:02:00.005+08:00

yeap! it's FRIDAY, and tmr is Saturday, and the day after would be Sunday! (duh...)

i've always loved Friday, i love Friday the most when i started working.

i get to relax abit at home, getting rid of the noisy phone that bitchily rings every 2 seconds and that stupid number caller that goes "SATU KOSONG EMPAT LIMA, KAUNTER TUJUH" = ='''

seriously annoying!!! and thank gooodness that the bank is moving...to a bigger lot which means bigger banking hall that eventually gets me bigger office table and spaces for my own~ :D

but hmmp, the shifting will not be that soon as the construction plan is still going on. probably by the end of the year. so, in the meantime, tahan first la.

well, cant actually relax lar as i'll be having my CUTE exam tomorrow morning at 9. so early donno for what! lol!

good also la, starts early, ends early.

praying to pass the exam. trainer told me that there are only 4 out of hundreds of candidates that failed the exam. so, i hope im not the fifth! T T....

wish me luck would ya?? hehe

have a sweet and awesome weekend!

UPDATE: I FREAKING LEFT MY PAST YEAR EXERCISES IN THE OFFICE! OH GOD DAMN, HOW STUPID, SILLY AND CARELESS AM I! URRGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I LEFT MY FORMULA SHEET TOO! DAMNNNNN

April...April

2011-04-04T21:04:00.003+08:00

It's April already!

didn't actually realize how fast time flies until i work.

am a month working in few more days.

life working over there was...hmmp, alright!

no special incident occurs yet and hoping only good things to come for sure!

well, i must admit, it's difficult to deal with customers especially to start a conversation with them.

i find ice breaking a little bit difficult! :(

it's not because that i'm unfriendly but hmmp, i find it hard to just talk to a complete stranger about..just anything!

i mean, i do feel how awkward and scary if i go up to them and started talking talking talking about my products. people get irritated as well. and to think of something to start a conversation with them is also tough as u wont know what they would want to hear and what they would not.

so, hmmp, as a sales person, an amateur ones, i'm learning right now taking steps by steps courses to ensure myself not making too much of mistakes that embarrass myself!

i know, mistakes are unpreventable but...reducing it would be better.

haiz...so yea! good luck to myself!=

not forgetting to my dearest MR.B, good luck in work tomorrow!

and u guys too! have a great awesome juice weekdays!

because i speak no americano!!!! = =

gambateh

2011-03-24T20:53:00.004+08:00

last day of the training session has finally ended.

met so many new faces and heard so many different stories and incidents happened in each branch. abit stress la actually as i'll be going straight to my branch, which is in Port Klang for the very first time.

stress lo! dont really know what to do yet, and still have not master the skills on how to approach customers and handling rejections.

scare lo, what if they ask me to do massive calculation that i dont know! T T

my accounts suck leh! somemore got zero knowledge in finance and all.

haiz!!! gonna start learning everything tmr!!!

it will be a new start tmr! :)

gambateh!

insomnia sucks

2011-03-21T00:18:00.003+08:00

URG!

INSOMNIA AGAIN!

damn! i'm always having insomnia the night before working!

wtf my brain is so freaking active and my heart pumps so fast for no reason.

i'm excited about something i don't know what!

and feeling hungry too as i...thought i could skip the dinner to cut down a few kg...or g's. :(

and cant find anythg soft to be taken at this hour. i'm left with maggies and...some tasteless bread. and no hot milk or chocolate at home! T T...

sigh...please~~~ 周公！ i need You right now~~~! will have to wake up in 5 hours time!

COME TO ME~~~~

DAMN!

plain...

2011-03-20T01:23:00.002+08:00

finally home. went Aeon this afternoon with Susan Boyle, i mean Ng, and got myself a piece of awesome knitted top and a pair of Vincci heels.

had fun shopping today!

few days of training were exhausting.

training is held in Bangi so i have to wake up at 5.30am for 6 days.

learnt how unit trust works and find it very very very new to me as i have zero knowledge about financing and accounting.

it was actually fun as i get to know new people and learn about their experience working in the bank.

4 more days to go and hmmp, hope i get to cope with everything as soon as possible.

it's Sunday! gonna have a good rest at home doing nothing. :)

have a relaxing Sunday people!

second lower wtf

2011-03-15T20:44:00.003+08:00

finally went to settle all my outstanding payment with APIIT.

and requested to unlock my bloody dusty webspace account which was locked for 5 months.

Mr Anthony was doing all the fines and payment stuff for me and then he told me that i pass all my subjects.

duh, i know, LOL very confidently sure that i pass all of that.

but hmm, the grades were disappointing.

got numbers that i didn't expect myself for getting and yet, i got a freaking C- like that.

especially my FYP! screwed it very well!

blame myself for procrastinated too much! i only started doing my system and implementation the last month before submission. geng right? so good la! i got a lousy grade for that! congrats Cheryl! u did a good job in procrastinating! well done! i'm so proud of u!

seriously, really paiseh to attend my convocation coming this September!

dont feel any happier or proud to even hold that freaking cert.

sigh!

Plus, my supervisor somemore made me felt so happy by complimenting my great effort in my research part. and yet i get that freaking ugly grade for my great effort! = = sigh...

well, not blaming anyone la! what to do? life goes on! need to stay strong and remind myself that

procrastinate = C-/fail/second lower

will be facing greater challenge tomorrow! hoping the best for everything!

aih..............

think before u speak

2011-03-15T00:14:00.003+08:00

u know sometimes, when u have so much to tell about something, and u just speak to anyone who u can easily reach to, and then days after u realized that something u spoke about was heard by everyone else and then got u wondered why u have so many traitors around u, that's when u have to be blamed for speaking too much to some irrelevant persons about something personal.

it's hard, well, to actually find someone to be a good secret keeper. i know, because words are like water or any liquid form of materials that can be spilled out easily.

and it's also hard to get someone who u can count on and to discuss about something personal hoping that he/she will just listen and not telling anyone about it.

in fact, that person did a great job in lending his/her ears but he/she forgotten to keep his/her mouth shut and thats when things turned chaotic.

truth is, better not speaking too much details about something to anyone i think.

of course, if u are sure about someone who u can rely on, ok, fine then.

if u couldn't find anyone, just get a dog and talk to him/her. i did that before last time, i was tearing so bad and i talked to my pom Mickey and then decided to just go to bed and sleep over it as his bowling pin toy has greater appeal than me.

or just create a blog and blog about it, and do remember to privatize it so u dont want people to google about it. :D

have to constantly remind myself that not everyone who smiles at you can be ur good friend! but of course not being paranoid towards everyone around.

just, be yourself, and do what u have to do, and not doing things that is unnecessary.

teehee!