A very famous book came out in 2001, called The Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene. In it, he analyses history to discuss what he has isolated as the 24 most important seduction techniques. While some of them might seem a bit extreme, I think you’ll all agree they’re food for thought. Let us know if you find any useful!

1. Choose the Right Victim

Everything depends on the target of your seduction.  Study your prey thoroughly, and choose only those who will prove susceptible to your charms.  The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic.  They are often isolated or unhappy, or can easily be made so—for the completely contented person is almost impossible to seduce.  The perfect victim has some quality that inspires strong emotions in you, making your seductive maneuvers seem more natural and dynamic.  The perfect victim allows for the perfect chase.

2. Create a False Sense of Security – Approach Indirectly

If you are too direct early on, you risk stirring up a resistance that will never be lowered.  At first there mist be nothing of the seducer in you manner.  The seduction should begin at an angle, indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you.  Haunt the periphery of your target’s life—approach through a third party, or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover.  Lull the target into feeling secure, then strike.

3. Send Mixed Signals

Once people are aware of your presence, and perhaps vaguely intrigued, you need to stir their interest before it settles on someone else.  Most of us are much too obvious—instead, be hard to figure out.  Send mixed signals: both tough and tender, both spiritual and earthly, both innocent and cunning.  A mix of qualities suggests depth, which fascinates even as it confuses.  And elusive, enigmatic aura will make people want to known more, drawing them into you circle.  Create such a power by hinting at something contradictory within you.

4. Appear to Be an Object of Desire – Create Triangles

Few are drawn to the person whom others avoid or neglect; people gather around those who have already attracted interest.  To draw your victims closer and make them hungry to possess you, you must create and aura of desirability—of being wanted and court by many.  It will become a point of vanity for them to be the preferred object of your attention, to win you away from a crowd of admirers.  Build a reputation that precedes you: If many have succumbed to your charms, there must be a reason.

5. Create a Need – Stir Anxiety and Discontent

A perfectly satisfied person cannot be seduced.  Tension and disharmony must be instilled in your targets’ minds.  Stir within them feelings of discontent, and unhappiness with their circumstances and with themselves.  The feelings of inadequacy that you create will give you space to insinuate yourself, to make them see you as the answer to their problems.  Pain and anxiety are the proper precursors to pleasure.  Learn to manufacture the need that you can fill.

6. Master the Art of Insinuation

Making your targets feel dissatisfied and in need of your attention is essential, but if you are too obvious, they will see through you and grow defensive.  There is no known defense, however, against insinuation—the art of planting ideas in people’s minds by dropping elusive hints that take root days later, even appearing to them as their own idea.  Create a sublanguage—bold statements followed by retraction and apology, ambiguous comments, banal talk combined with alluring glances—that enters the target’s unconscious to convey your real meaning.  Make everything suggestive.

7. Enter Their Spirit

Most people are locked in their own worlds, making them stubborn and hard to persuade.  The way to lure them out of their shell and set up your seduction is to enter their spirit.  Play by their rules, enjoy what they enjoy, adapt yourself to their moods.  In doing so you will stroke their deep-rooted narcissism and lower their defenses.  Indulge your targets’ every mood and whim, giving them nothing to react against or resist.

8. Create Temptation

Leave the target deep into your seduction by creating the proper temptation: a glimpse of the pleasures to come.  As the serpent tempted Eve with the promise of forbidden knowledge, you must awaken a desire in your targets that they cannot control. Find that weakness of theirs, that fantasy that has yet to be realized, and hint that your can lead them toward it.  The key is to keep it vague.  Stimulate a curiosity stronger than the doubts and anxieties that go with it, and they will follow you.

9. Keep Them In Suspense – What Comes Next?

The moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your spell on them is broken.  More: Your have ceded them power.  The only way to lead the seduced along and keep the upper hand is to create suspense, a calculated surprise.  Doing something they do not expect from you will give them a delightful sense of spontaneity—they will not be able to foresee what comes next.  You are always one step ahead and in control.  Give the victim a thrill with a sudden change of direction.

10. Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion

It is hard to make people listen; they are consumed with their own thoughts and desires, and have little time for yours.  The trick to making them listen is to say what they want to hear, to fill their ears with whatever is pleasant to them.  This is the essence of seductive language.  Inflame people’s emotions with loaded phrases, flatter them, comfort their insecurities, envelop them in sweet words and promises, and not only will they listen to you, they will lose their will to resist you.

11. Pay Attention to Detail

Lofty words of love and grand gestures can be suspicious: Why are you trying so hard to please?   The details of a seduction—the subtle gestures, the offhand things you do—are often more charming and revealing.  You must learn to distract your victims with a myriad of pleasant little rituals—thoughtful gifts tailored just for them, clothes and adornments designed to please them, gestures that show the time and attention you are paying them.  Mesmerized by what they see, they will not notice what your are really up to.

12. Poeticize Your Presence

Important things happen when your targets are alone: The slightest feeling of relief that you are not their, and it is all over.  Familiarity and overexposure will cause the reaction.  Remain elusive, then.  Intrigue your targets by alternating an exciting presence with a cool distance, exuberate moments followed by calculated absences.  Associate yourself with poetic images and objects, so that when they think of you, they begin to see you through an idealized halo.  The more you figure in their minds, the more they will envelope you in seductive fantasies.

13. Disarm Through Strategic Weakness and Vulnerability

Too much maneuvering on your part may raise suspicion.  The best way to cover your tracks is to make the other person feel superior and stronger.  If you seem to be weak, vulnerable, enthralled by the other person, and unable to control yourself, you will make your actions look more natural, less calculated.  Physical weakness—tears, bashfulness, paleness—will help create the effect.  Play the victim, then transform your target’s sympathy into love.

14. Confuse Desire and Reality – The Perfect Illusion

To compensate for the difficulties in their lives, people spend a lot of their time daydreaming, imagining a future full of adventure, success, and romance.  If your can create the illusion that through you they can live out their dreams, you will have tem at your mercy.  Aim at secret wishes that have been thwarted or repressed, stirring up uncontrollable emotions, clouding their powers of reason.  Lead the seduced to a point of confusion in which they can no longer tell the difference between illusion and reality.

15. Isolate the Victim

An isolated person is weak.  By slowly isolating your victims, you make them more vulnerable to your influence.  Take them away from their normal milieu, friends, family, home.  Give them the sense of being marginalized, in limbo—they are leaving one world behind and entering another.  Once isolated like this, they have no outside support, and in their confusion they are easily led astray.  Lure the seduced into your lair, where nothing is familiar.

16. Prove Yourself

Most people want to be seduced.  If they resist your efforts, it is probably because you have not gone far enough to allay their doubts—about your motives, the depth of your feelings, and so on.  One well-timed action that shows how far you are willing to go to win them over will dispel their doubts.  Do not worry about looking foolish or making a mistake—any kind of deed that is self-sacrificing and for your target’s sake will so overwhelm tie emotions, they won’t notice anything else.

17. Effect a Regression

People who have experienced a certain kind of pleasure in the past will try to repeat or relive it.  The deepest-rooted and most pleasurable memories are usually those from earliest childhood, and are often unconsciously associated with a parental figure.  Bring your targets back to that point by placing yourself in the oedipal triangle and positioning them as the needy child.  Unaware of he cause of their emotional response, they will fall in love with you.

18. Stir Up the Transgressive and Taboo

There are always social limits on what one can do.  Some of these, the most elemental taboos, go back centuries; others are more superficial, simply defining polite and acceptable behavior.  Making your targets feel that you are leading them past either kind of limit is immensely seductive.  People yearn to explore their dark side. Once the desire to transgress draws your target to you, it will be hard for them to stop.  Take them farther than they imagined—the shared feeling of guild and complicity will create a powerful bond.

19. Use Spiritual Lures

Everyone has doubts and insecurities—about their body, their self-worth, their sexuality.  If your seduction appeals exclusively to the physical, you will stir up these doubts and make your targets self-conscious.  Instead, lure them out of their insecurities by making them focus on something sublime and spiritual: a religious experience, a lofty work of art, the occult.  Lost in a spiritual mist, the target will feel light and uninhibited.  Deepen the effect of your seduction by making its sexual culmination seem like the spiritual union of two souls.

20. Mix Pleasure and Pain

The greatest mistake in seduction is being too nice.  At first, perhaps, your kindness is charming, but it soon grows monotonous; you are trying too hard to please, and seem insecure.  Instead of overwhelming your targets with niceness, try inflicting some pain.  Make them feel guilty and insecure.  Instigate a breakup—now a rapprochement, a return to your earlier kindness, will turn them weak at the knees.  The lower the lows you create, the greater the highs.  To heighten the erotic charge, create the excitement of fear.

21. Give Them Space to Fall – The Pursuer Is Pursued

If your targets become too used to you as the aggressor, they will give less of their own energy, and the tension will slacken.  You need to wake them up, turn the tables.  Once they are under your spell, take a step back and they will start to come after your.  Hint that your are growing bored.  Seem interested in someone else.  Soon they will want to possess you physically, and restraint will go out the window.  Create the illusion tat the seducer is being seduced.

22. Use Physical Lures

Targets with active minds are dangerous: If they see through your manipulations, they may suddenly develop doubts.  Put their minds gently to rest, and waken their dormant senses, by combining a nondefensive attitude with a charged sexual presence.  While your cool, nonchalant air is lowering their inhibitions, your glances, voice, and bearing—oozing sex and desire—are getting under their skin and raising their temperature.  Never force the physical; instead infect your targets with heat, lure them into lust.  Morality, judgment, and concern for the future will melt away.

23. Master the Art of the Bold Move

A moment has arrived:  Your victim clearly desires you, but is not ready to admit it openly, let alone act on it.  This is the time to throw aside chivalry, kindness, and coquetry and to overwhelm with a bold move.  Don’t give the victim time to consider the consequences.  Showing hesitation or awkwardness means you are thinking of yourself, as opposed to being overwhelmed by the victim’s charms.  One person must on the offensive, and it is you.

24. Beware of the Aftereffects

Danger follows in the aftermath of a successful seduction.  After emotions have reached a pitch, they often swing in the opposite direction—towards lassitude, distrust, disappointment.  If you are to part, make the sacrifice swift and sudden.  If you are to stay in a relationship, beware a flagging of energy, a creeping familiarity that will spoil the fantasy.  A second seduction is required.  Never let the other person take you for granted—use absence, create pain and conflict, to keep the seduced on tenterhooks.

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Rec sex: Short for “recreational sex,” this kind of fucking-for-the-fun-of-it usually comes from a positive, happy place; in other words, if you were depressed or heartbroken or enraged, the sex you had shouldn’t officially be called rec sex. But, really, any sex between two or more consenting adults outside of a long-term relationship could be referred to as rec sex. And rec sex doesn’t ensure that there won’t be any negative consequences (like heartbreak, jealousy, confusion, or STDs). But while you’re doing it, you’re not worried about the future: You’re in the moment. Rec sex is often employed as a more cheery synonym for casual sex, and is particularly common after one has sold a first novel, won the lottery, or received a refund on their tax return.

Booty call sex: Sex with a friend-with-benefits or a new lust interest that’s arranged via a phone call or text message made after 11 p.m.—usually because there are no better prospects and/or you’ve been drinking.

Appointment sex: A more formalized version of the booty call. This kind of sex scheduling is usually done more than twenty-four hours in advance, when both parties are sober. Email invitations tend to be favored over more casual text messaging messages or impromptu phone calls. This kind of arrangement happens more frequently among the older set—work-a-holics, recovering alcoholics, single parents, people for whom fart jokes have lost their charm, i.e., those who no longer have the patience (or the liver) to wait until closing time to make a booty call.

Ex sex: Sex with a previous partner, usually because they’re easy and you’re lazy. A.k.a. double dipping, blue- binning, recycling, returning to the well.

Cereal sex: A random one-night stand in the middle of a sexual/romantic dry spell: It’s delicious while it lasts, but it’s not filling, and an hour later you’re hungrier than you were before you “ate.”

Deja sex: Unexpected sex with someone you weren’t planning on seeing or sleeping with again. For instance, after a few keg stands, you spent one of your last college Saturday nights in a room at Theta Kai with what’s-his-name, never to see him again, until ten years later when you bump into him at the international trade convention in Dallas, and, after a few Maker’s Marks at the Hilton, end up in his room, for old time’s sake.

Drive-thru sex: Convenient sex, i.e., you stop by for a quickie and then keep on moving. (“I hate to boff and run, but I’ve got a plane to catch … ”).

Mercy sex: Sex with someone you are not particularly attracted to or don’t necessarily want to do. You do it simply because you feel sorry for them: Perhaps they’ve had a crush on you since sixth grade and swear they want “just one night of passion to help me move on,” their pet goldfish just died, you know they’ll be extra “giving” in the sack in return, you know this is your only hope of “deprogramming” them out of their cultish Trekkie community, their heart was just put through a blender (by you or someone else), they haven’t had sex in a long time and have no prospects, they’re dying of cancer, they’re thirty years old and still a virgin. A.k.a. charity work (most often used as a negative rebuttal, as in “I don’t do charity work.” Oh, snap!)

Comfort sex: The sexual equivalent of mac and cheese: sex after a bad day at work, a terrible break up, a tragic pet death—anything that makes you long for the consoling feel of warm skin on skin, of connecting with another soul. You usually have to find someone willing to have mercy sex with you, and when you do, it’s slow, deliberate, usually missionary, with face-holding and perhaps Rachmaninoff playing in the background. But while it may feel good in the moment, comfort sex, like comfort food, will usually make you feel worse after it’s all said and done.

Occasion sex: A one-night stand and casual sex due to a specific circumstance, such as a power outage, a heat wave, an announcement of war, a notification that the terror alert is raised to orange, a new Al Green album. Occasion sex may be celebratory (Obama wins the presidential election, you win the lottery, good hair day) or commiserative (Ah-nold wins the presidential election after a Constitutional amendment qualifies him, death of a pet, bad haircut).

Palate cleansing: Rebound sex that obliterates the bad taste left in your mouth (not literally) by a recent ex. A.k.a. sorbet sex.

Temp work: Casual sex you have until a better, more permanent relationship comes along. Thus, an overzealous matchmaking friend, an adult online personals site, an escort service, a brothel, or an “Overeaters Anonymous” conference could all be considered “temp agencies.”

Hate sex: When lust trumps like. Sex with someone who annoys you is a drag, but sex with someone you hate with every pore of your being? Now, that’s hot. Not on a regular basis, of course (that’s just depressing), but sometimes it’s just what the shrink ordered. And you just know there’s no relationship in it, because you’d kill each other first. Push each other around, pull each other’s hair, bite each other’s shoulders, and yell, “I hate you!” right as you climax. It’s like an enema for the soul.

Let’s talk today about “sexting.” Sexting is really all about escalating. I am not trying to sound like a pickup artist, but when you’re dirty texting back and forth you really want to take the woman on a journey.

Think of sexting like a road heading into the mountains. The road starts out nice and flat, but you want to test things out ahead of time. You want to make sure your tires are sound and that the brakes will work.

So to do that, you will send something very simple like, “I had a thought…” If she takes the bait, she’ll text you back asking you what that thought was.

Then you can write, “Well, last night I had this dream about you…” When you do that, you’re testing a little bit to see if she goes for it. This is good, because if you really had a dream about someone, you would probably share it with that person in bursts (and not all at once).

You want to be able to take it slowly. Really, this is mental masturbation! If you can get her to mentally masturbate about the thought of you having sex with her, she’s going to want to sleep with you when you meet up. So you’re really just testing the road.

It’s also about being 100% in control. For instance, you can say something like, “Yeah, last night I learned about this new position, and it was really hot. So, how’s your trip to D.C.?”

It’s a giveaway-takeaway. You want to constantly give and take away from her.

The more you do that, the hotter she will become. You’re teasing her.

It’s really the same thing with sex. The guy who goes straight for the vagina and pounds away is not going to please the woman. The guy who massages, loves and cherishes the woman is the one who is going to get that woman totally hot.

It’s the same thing for sexting and for sex. Everything is about foreplay. Life is about foreplay.

When I’m this close to orgasm—eyes squeezed shut, lips twisted in a Billy Idol sneer, cheeks glowing—the most descriptive word wouldn’t be “passionate” or “erotic.” It would be “determined.” Because right then, at the edges of my fading consciousness, I’m worried that the phone will ring, my knees will lose their traction on the sheets, or my boyfriend will change position, and suddenly I’ll be sliding away from that elusive peak instead of moving toward it. For the 75 percent of women who don’t always reach orgasm during intercourse, this happens all the time.

What we need is a fuse blower—that last shot of stimulation that blasts us into never-never land. “Calling it a fuse blower is pretty appropriate,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. “Recent studies show that in order for a woman to achieve orgasm, the part of her brain associated with stress, emotion, and anxiety has to shut down.”

If you’re able to do something to a woman that feels so incredibly good that she completely relaxes and lets go, you’re highly likely to make that woman climax.
My friends helped me compile this list of orgasm triggers. Get her to the point where she’s sweaty and breathing fast, then try one.

THE DOUBLE GRIP

Despite all the attention her booty may attract when she’s walking down the street in tight jeans or bending over a file cabinet, a woman’s butt is too often sidelined during sex. And that’s why grabbing both of her cheeks when she’s on top may be just the unexpected turn-on a girl needs to get off.
“The buttocks are packed with nerve endings,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., a sex therapist in New York City. “To give her a surprising jolt of pleasure, spread your fingers wide and squeeze both buttocks firmly.”

But take it one step at a time. Yes, of course, there are women out there who crave a good spanking, but until you’ve had a conversation about this sort of thing—however playful you are—just keep it simple.

THE UP SHIFT

It was Rachel, my favorite sorority sister in college, who told me about this trick: “When a guy is on top of you in the missionary position, have him shift his body slightly forward so that, every time he thrusts, his penis rubs against your clitoris.” Yes, Rachel really talked like this, and yes, college was fun.
This tactic is even more orgasmic if the woman’s legs are together and the man’s are straddling her. “It increases clitoral stimulation,” says Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., an adjunct professor of human sexuality at Rutgers University. You can achieve the same effect when she’s on top by propping yourself up on your elbows, which places your abdomen in closer contact with her sweet spot.
 
THE ULTIMATE

There’s no question that clitoral contact is the ultimate fuse blower. But how—and how much—depends on the woman. “Going down on a woman allows you to get a real sense of the stimulation she likes at every stage of arousal, especially the final one,” says Kerner, who wrote a whole book on the subject: She Comes First. It also eliminates any performance anxiety she has during intercourse, so she can kick back and enjoy.

Learn what she likes. Get between her legs and give her a solid base of lips, tongue, gums, and even chin to rub against. At first, use your hands to guide her hips to let her know you want her to do the grinding. When she takes over, note how hard she’s pushing and in what direction. Use that information later when using your fingers or giving her a more aggressive tongue bath.

THE DROP TRICK

Steady clitoral contact is essential to female orgasm. But without adequate lubrication, it can become uncomfortable.

“Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris,” says Friedrichs. “But sometimes, no matter how turned on a woman might be psychologically, she can have trouble getting wet.”

Try a couple of drops of lube on the end of your tool. Then thrust with short, rhythmic strokes while pressing your body against her pubic mound. Don’t use too much lube or it’ll feel like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Consider Astroglide lube. Astroglide lubricants are formulated and tested according to the highest standards and come in a wide variety of styles, and flavors.

THE NECK WARMER

Our necks are highly responsive touch pads—the skin is thin, and the blood vessels are close to the surface. Psychologically, it can remind some women of “their first sexual experiences, which could make it even more exciting,” Friedrichs says. No hickeys, please: Don’t suck.

When you’re having sex and she’s clearly moving toward orgasm, brush your lips from her collarbone to her jaw, then give her neck big, warm kisses until she comes unhinged.

THE PLAY-BY-PLAY

For a verbal girl—and there are a lot of us out here—a string of four-letter words whispered in the heat of the moment can work wonders.

“Start by complimenting her or talking about how good what you’re doing feels,” advises Friedrichs. If she doesn’t say anything back, she might not be into it. If she responds with “Oh, yeah” or a similarly enthusiastic phrase, she wants more.

“Nothing makes me hotter than when he describes what he’s doing to me in explicit language,” says my friend Lana. “But I’m picky—there are certain terms that drive me wild, and others that make me cringe.”

Build a glossary: A goofy conversation over drinks about which anatomical nicknames are the sexiest isn’t a bad idea. And if she ever seems horrified by what comes out of your mouth, just say, “Sorry about that, I got carried away.”

Final note: Skip cheerleader comments like “C’mon baby, you can do it!”

THE DREAM MACHINE

“It’s a simple fact that some women can climax only by using a vibrator,” says Friedrichs. If your partner never hits her high note, no matter what you try, simply ask her if she’s ever had a battery-assisted orgasm. If she says no, introduce her to a whole new world of wow by ordering something small but powerful, such as a Vibrating Touch Massager.

If she’s over the age of 30, her answer will probably be yes, and she’ll be more than happy to pull her Magic Wand out of her bedside drawer. After asking what pressure and speed she prefers (many vibrators have several settings), all you have to do is hold the vibrator against her clitoris as you move from one position to another. Enjoy the magic show.

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Steps

• Manage your image. Before you can seduce a girl, you must have a good, positive image. Make friends and be charming with every one you come in contact with. Never hesitate to tell one person what you admire about another, as it will eventually reach that person and appear undoubtedly genuine. Never argue (arguing is anti-seduction). No girl can resist a guy whom everyone likes, unless she’s the type to rebel against popular opinion just because it’s popular opinion (in which case the remainder of the steps will probably wear her down).




• Subtly reveal your sexual side. If you cannot insinuate, skip this step. When you talk about sex, say it in a way that Shakespeare would approve of. For example, “Sleep is my second favorite thing to do in bed” or “my neighbors are noisy during the day, but that’s okay because they put up with me at night.”




• Do the opposite of what other guys do. If the girl is drop-dead gorgeous, ignore her. After hearing about your rakish reputation, she will wonder why you are not attracted to her. If other guys ignore her, shower her with the attention she has been craving.




• Hint that other girls like you. Women hold each other’s opinions very highly and they get jealous easily.




• Speak seductively. Never start a conversation focused on work, school, MySpace, family, TV shows, or other everyday things. Never talk about yourself. Talk about exotic vacation spots, mythology, sex (sometimes), history, astrology, dreams, fate, and anything else pleasurable and intangible. Don’t express any opinions except for your preference for pleasurable things and for things that she likes. Keep a powerful gaze while talking about these things. The eyes are very important.




• Never apologize. And never worry when you talk with a girl. Iit will be written all over your face and interpreted as a sign of timidness, which, for most girls, is a turn-off.




• Show strategic weakness (optional). This step is optional, but it will speed up the seduction. If you naturally come off as weak, skip this step. For more masculine guys, a flash of weakness and sensitivity will make you seem honest, romantic, harmless, and more akin to a girl’s idea of “the one.” All girls are frightened of guys on some level. The more feminine and skittish the girl is, the more necessary this step is. The key to performing this step correctly is to bend the truth. Don’t talk about breakups or events that you really are sensitive about. As with dancing, it is your job to lead. Don’t lead her into a depressing discussion topic. Add a masculine angle to feminine subjects. A good idea would be to say, “yeah, I watched The Notebook. I liked how he didn’t give up hope after he saw her with the other guy.”




• Give her plenty of space. Neediness and smothering are unattractive qualities. There are bound to be things about you that she doesn’t like. Give her time to forget about those things and fantasize about the good things you have to offer.




• Make her laugh. When a woman laughs, she feels more relaxed and lowers her defenses (and inhibitions).




• Touch her. Reach for her hands, hair, shoulders, ankles, and back. Don’t just always wait for her to do it first. If she doesn’t like it, she’ll definitely let you know. But touching someone communicates to them that you find them attractive, and also that you’re reasonably confident. Both of these things can make someone feel more attracted to you.




• Make her feel irresistible. Try it by telling her something seductive, starting with rejection of this desirable thing – ex. “Please don’t wear short skirt tonight, as I will not resist the temptation!” or something like that “Don’t touch me like that. I like it more than I should.” She’ll probably keep doing it (consider it a form of reverse psychology).



And that should be enough to get you well underway. Go forth and conquer!

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For years, the clitoris was considered the only trigger for the female orgasm. Alas, even finding the clitoris turned out to be a daunting task for many men, and things didn’t get any easier in 1950 when a physician by the name of Dr. Ernst Grafenberg found an even more mysterious female pleasure spot hidden within the vagina.

This area became popularized by sexologists in the 1980s as the “G-spot.” It turns out that stimulation of the G-spot produces a very powerful kind of female orgasm; and in some women, it even produces female ejaculation, colloquially known as “squirting.”

For both of these reasons, finding, stimulating and discovering how to master the woman’s G-spot has become, for both men and women, the Holy Grail of female pleasuring.

what exactly is the g-spot?

It is the bean-shaped, spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland, which is analogous to the male prostate. The actual area is only about the size of a quarter, but it feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. Because the G-spot is composed of erectile tissue, it swells up when blood rushes to it — especially if you learn how to master the woman’s G-spot effectively.

It is located about one to two inches back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall. The “front” wall is the wall of the vagina on the same side as her belly button.

the best way to find the g-spot

First of all, the G-spot is easiest to locate when a woman is sexually aroused, so don’t stint on your foreplay first. (You knew I would get that in!)

To locate and master the woman’s G-spot, face your partner while she is lying on her back and insert your index or long middle finger into her vagina as far as it will easily go. Then crook it up toward yourself in a “come hither” motion, sliding your fingertip along the top of the vagina until you find an area that is rougher than the rest of that vaginal wall. (Make sure you have your fingernails clipped short and buffed before you do this — sharp fingernails will definitely spoil the effort.) This rough or slightly ridged area is the “G-spot,” and touching it will often cause a woman to react with surprise or pleasure.

If you don’t get a reaction, don’t be too shy to ask her if she feels especially sensitive when you touch what you think is the spot. You may need to use a fair amount of pressure to find the G-spot because it is located within, not on the outside of, the vaginal wall.

Sometimes it helps to use your other hand on the outside of the mons pubis (the hairy area above the pubic bone) to lightly massage the skin in the area where your crooked finger is touching to intensify the effect. And since not all women are G-spot sensitive, don’t get discouraged if you can’t get a special reaction.

While some women are capable of multiple orgasms with repetitive stimulation of the G-spot, others don’t get much of a feeling and some even feel discomfort from G-spot stimulation.

No worries — every woman will appreciate the attention and the effort! And while searching, you might discover other areas in her vagina that she responds to even more enthusiastically.

tapping into love

The best way to manually stimulate the G-spot is with a firm “tapping” motion with your crooked finger. Some guys find it easier to stimulate the G-spot with various toys. Any dildo can be used for this, but the ones that are best suited for G-spot stimulation are hard and curved. Many are made specifically for G-spot stimulation, as their length, width and curve are specifically designed to take the “guesswork” out of G-spot stimulation.

Even women who do not enjoy manual stimulation of the G-spot may enjoy penile stimulation of the spot during intercourse. So, if your penis has a natural upward bend, you’ve got it made. Other men have to find positions that maximize penile contact with the front wall of the vagina. The “woman on top” positions and posterior (doggy style) positions are best for achieving that contact.

The only way to get G-spot stimulation in the missionary position is to prop her hips up with pillows (or with a special wedge known as “The Liberator”). Women can also intensify their ability to have G-spot orgasms by learning to contract their pelvic muscles, known as Kegel exercises.
sex gets better with age

There is some evidence that the intensity of a woman’s G-spot orgasm is mediated by the hormone estrogen. Most young women under 30 find clitoral orgasms to be more powerful because, due to their relatively high estrogen levels, their vaginal lining becomes too thick to allow direct stimulation of their G-spot nerves.

As the estrogen level begins to decline in women during their 30s, the vaginal lining becomes thinner and the G-spot becomes more accessible. That’s why most women feel that they begin to peak sexually in their early to mid-30s.

Related posts:

1. Mastering First-time Sex
2. College Girl Perspectives On Anal Play

Let’s be honest: Good-looking women in the 21st century have the world by the balls. That’s because for very attractive women men are puppets, sex is available on demand and money flows to them from male wallets in a never-ending stream.

Without lifting a finger, very attractive women enjoy lives that most people can only fantasize about.

For men, the lure of dating very attractive women is obvious. They are arm candy, boost self-esteem, increase social status among men, multiply a guy’s sexual desirability, and, seriously, hot women are just nice to look at. While all of this is well and good, very attractive women have a set of qualities that are unfortunately common. They can be shallow, self-centered and self-absorbed, not to mention selfish and manipulative.

Despite these drawbacks, very attractive women are what most guys look for. Since these women are bombarded by male attention, they can afford to be selective about the men they date, which usually lands them some dude with money first and good looks second.

Is there any hope for you if you don’t have extremely good looks or lots of cash? Well, you might be able give yourself a decent shot if you’re willing to make a couple of shifts in your dating strategy and take our advice on dating very attractive women.

The key to success with dating very attractive women is to be different. Beautiful women have heard it all, so if you want a chance at very attractive women, you’re going to have to do something different.

Here are a few ideas around what it takes to date very attractive women:

Treat her like she’s nothing special

Talk to her like you would any other person. Don’t act awestruck by her looks, don’t gush out compliments and never stare at her with lust. Reduce the intimidation factor, be debonair and seem aloof, as if you don’t care about her looks. Whatever you do, don’t assume she doesn’t want to talk to you. Dating very attractive women requires you to almost seem indifferent.

Don’t hit on her

This is what she expects from the typical guy, so just make like you’re ignoring her. This is a great technique to use if you run into very attractive women on a routine basis at work, a coffee shop or a health club. If you don’t give her any attention — while openly paying attention to other women — she won’t be able to stand it because you’ll be the only guy within a hundred miles who isn’t drooling over her. With luck, she’ll be intrigued. Avoid pickup lines at all costs.

Tease her

Very attractive women can sense fear and insecurity the way a moth smells pheromones, so be light, fun and entertaining. Boyish charm can take you a long way with these women — many of the great-looking guys they date can be seriously personality-challenged.

Talk about her interests & passions

Stimulate her mind, as other guys probably don’t. Show interest in her intellect and make her comfortable. Play on your good aspects and not your looks — but don’t lie to impress her.

Don’t compliment her

Don’t put her on a pedestal, where she usually sits with other men. If you do give her a minimal compliment, follow up with something off-putting. Tell her, for example, that she’s wearing a nice dress, and that your sister has the same one. This says she has good fashion style, but that she’s not entirely original.

Tell her she’s not up to your standards

Tell her you’d like to ask her out, but she’s just not up to your usual standards (watch her jaw hit the floor). If you really want to throw her, steal her thunder and tell her that you think you should be just friends.

Wait a little while to call her

If you get her phone number, wait at least a week to call her — and then tell her you’ll try to fit a date with her into your schedule.

Don’t push for sex

She knows she’s got the goods, so when you’re out with her, she expects you to be a horndog. Make her wait and it will drive her crazy.

Run hot & cold

If you haven’t gone out with her yet, be extremely friendly, and follow it up with a period of aloofness. Or date her a couple of times, then drop her cold (with every intention of starting back up again). She’ll be stunned.

Keep her guessing

The idea is to keep her off-balance, intrigued and guessing — make her want to spend time with you just because you’re so different from any other guy out there. Just remember: Don’t let your guard down and go wimpy on her — the very second she thinks she’s in control of you, it’s all over. So by being different, by bringing a little refreshing change into the life of very attractive women, you might be surprised — it might just be the breath of fresh air she’s been looking for. Sure, it’s no magic charm, and it’s certainly not going to work every time. Trying to score a date with very attractive women is definitely a numbers game. But all it takes is one, and if you pull it off, you’re in for the sweetest ride of your life.

Related posts:

1. Dating Younger Women
2. How to Find Sex: the Art of the One Night Stand – Part 4 “Places to Meet Women”
3. Spotting Online Dating Scams

What You Need To Know

• Between the ages of 18 and 23, women fall in and out of love every five minutes – beware.
• You can date young women, but don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Date other girls simultaneously
• Until she grows up, it’s not likely she’ll stick around for the long-term.

This week, a reader questions the age gap between him and his love interest. Is dating young women setting yourself up for relationship failure?

Reader’s Question

Hey Doc,

Lex

Response

Hi Lex,

It was a big mistake to reprimand Valerie when you two kissed for the first time. You insulted the girl, Lex. You don’t tell a girl she’s too young or too old. In fact, like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “You never tell a girl she’s too anything.” You just smile, and go right on kissing her. That’s what a smart guy would do.

And you never should have lied to Valerie’s mum. Who did you think you were fooling? Yes, the relationship is proper, but the odds of it lasting are really, really horrible.”

The fact that Valerie cooks for you and paid when you went out to dinner shows that she’s a Giver. This is a wonderful trait, but she’s much too young for you in terms of life experience. If she were 24, 25 or 26 there would be hope for the two of you, because she would know something about herself and life, but she still has to go through the ages of 19, 20 and 21, which are the years when people first start to figure out which end is up and which is down. In other words, she’s still got a lot of growing up to do. And that’s not a good thing for you.

That said, it’s smart that you’re trying to get to know Valerie before taking the plunge with her. And you hit it right on the head there, pal: You have to find out what’s between her ears. Maybe you’ll make the lucky discovery that you have a girl you can date for four years and she won’t be flaking out on you over something every other day. But I doubt it, because the odds are against it — and I’m an odds-maker.

Your mum and dad are one of the rare cases where a big age difference has not mattered in the relationship. But you can’t rely on the rare cases as an indication of what is likely to happen. You have to look at the majority of cases. And if you do, you’ll see that you’re not going to have this girl when she’s 23. Between the ages of 18 and 23 Valerie has so much maturing to do that you’ll be lucky if you can get through one year with her. Because, like the great Doctor Freud once said, “At the age of 18, a girl falls in and out of love every five minutes.” As far as your best friend is concerned, a friendship is not the same as a romantic relationship, so you can’t make a valid comparison between the two.

Solution: Date Multiple Women

What do I think you should do? If you’re smart, you’ll date this girl and date other girls at the same time. And, most importantly, you can’t allow your interest level in Valerie to get too high! So keep your interest low, Lex. Like my cousin says, “Don’t lose control of yourself, dawg. You’re goin’ out with a little girl.”

Yes, the relationship is proper, but the odds of it lasting are really, really horrible. And who cares what other people think? If this girl is good-looking, likes you and she’s of legal age, that’s all that counts. Just make sure you check her ID card, soldier.

Remember, guys: until she grows up, she can’t possibly keep you.

Related posts:

1. Dating very attractive women

(Some Men Really Need To Read This)

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman’s nipples, then clamp down like they’re trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can’t stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they’re a doggie toy isn’t.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you’re trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you’ve ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you’re going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man’s responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don’t pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she’s not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid’s toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it’s all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you’re trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you’re not careful, it can hurt – so don’t get carried away. It’s best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You’re attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don’t force the issue by stripping before she’s at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it’s just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool – she’ll soon feel like an assembly line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man’s fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it’s more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you’re playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don’t know, don’t ask.

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don’t act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she’s eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It’s about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she’s performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what’s necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don’t thrust. She’ll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don’t grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn’t feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don’t think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, “Can I take a photo of you?” she’ll hear the words “… to show my buddies.” At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It’s as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she’s a Romanian gymnast, don’t get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don’t.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don’t shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It’s not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900line. If she likes nasty talk, she’ll let you know.

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

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1. 50 Mistakes Women Make While Having Sex