Carol Shwanda

When Every Day is Valentine’s Day

Carol — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:01:40 +0000

Paul and I rarely make any special plans for Valentine’s Day because often times we have the kids with us, but when we don’t, we always make time for romance. That’s the way it is with remarried couples with kids from their previous marriages. When the kids are with the other parents, we are alone. In addition to every other weekend sans children, Wednesday nights are our date nights because it is a “no kid” night. Either we have a candlelit dinner at home or we ride our bikes to the local eatery.

Last Wednesday, the day after Valentine’s Day, Paul surprised me. He picked me up from work on a glorious, sunny day and took me for a drive along the coast. Afterward we stopped in at the tasting room/restaurant of one of our favorite wineries, The Bonny Doon Vineyard Cellar Door. By sheer chance, the wine maker Randall Graham, a rather pleasant, yet eccentric sort, who bills himself as the Rhone Derranger, was standing behind the bar. We got a chance to talk with him Paul purchased his book for me Been Doon So Long: A Randall Grahm Vinthology which he signed. I am thoroughly enjoying the book, which has been reviewed as, ” an iconoclastic send-up of the wine industry and a celebration of unsung grape varieties, the book features, among other things, Grahm’s hilarious literary parodies–Joyce, Kafka, Pynchon, Salinger, and others–together with song lyrics, other snarky satires, poems, lectures, and more. Subtle undertones of gravitas with faint suggestions of earnestness lie beneath the humor…

The best part of all, aside from sharing time alone with my hubby, was being the recipient of Paul’s spontaneity and intuition for what would make me happy. That’s the best Valentine’s gift of all.

How This Busy Mom and Stepmom Reduces Stress

Carol — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 20:11:22 +0000

After a 6 week furlough in December and January, I’m back to work in my part-time job as group sales coordinator for Shakespeare Santa Cruz on the UCSC campus. I absolutely love my job, not only because I work with the greatest group of creative and inspiring people in the intellectually stimulating field of theater arts, but also because the university is committed to community health and wellness, which they demonstrate by offering free classes and seminars on nutrition, stress reduction and yoga, the latter of which I participate in every Thursday at lunch time. This is a great opportunity for me to unwind, relax and be mindful and present while soaking up the gorgeous scenery. I walk across campus with one of my colleagues and below are some photos I took along the way.

The Best Valentine’s Day Gift Ever

Carol — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:31:38 +0000

If you have been following my blog for the past few months, you would have read that I had a very traumatic experience back in August, when I saw my oldest daughter, Sophia off to college. I cried. It was hard. I worked through my issues by indulging her (and myself) by sending her over-the-top care packages filled with all of the comforts of home. And then some. Bath gel, cookies, nail polish, fuzzy socks, star shaped paper clips… all kinds of goodies. I sent these about every two to three weeks. I know. A bit much. But Sophia loved them and so did her roommate Katie, with whom Sophia shared them.

When Sophia was home for Christmas she told me that she got the sense that her roommate Katie was kind of jealous of the care packages I sent and I could tell Sophia felt a little guilty opening them in front of her. Not all moms send their kids stuff while they are in college, but in Katie’s case, there is no mom. Or dad. She was raised in foster care. I’ll leave out the sad details of her life and suffice it to say it was not an easy one.

I told Sophia I had an easy solution to her problem. “How about I send Katie a care package?”

“Would you?” Sophia beamed happily.

Yes I would. And I did. Katie’s package, which included heart shaped paper clips, arrived a few days ago and Sophia told me Katie was so surprised and excited she cried.

It was the best Valentine’s Day gift ever. Not just for Katie, but for me too because I got to witness my own daughter’s selfless compassion. And that is priceless.

Don’t Let Toxic People Rent Space in Your Brain

Carol — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 02:18:05 +0000

The title of this blog post is a saying I read the other day and it reminded me of an email I received recently from one of my readers. She was bemoaning the fact that her in-laws, namely her husband’s brother and his wife, (who are childless, btw) interfere with her parenting by making unwelcome and unsolicited snarky comments about her decision to home school her children.

My reader went on to say that they butt heads on a lot of topics, mainly because they have differing religious and political views. In today’s polarizing political arena that’s not surprising, as I am sure that we have all experienced at some time or another a less-than-civil debate about some hot button issue.

However, religion and politics are not at issue here, and that is what I told her. It is really about control and the offending party’s self-aggrandizing, sanctimonious need to be right. I sympathized with her dilemma, as I have experienced similar problems myself. People are entitled to their opinions. When they start to impose them on to you, that is where you have to draw the line and not allow yourself to be bullied. The interference with the parenting is one thing, but what is most egregious is the arrogance of a person who thinks he or she has the right to do it in the first place!

My advice to her was to ignore these people and avoid them as much as possible. Don’t let them rent any more space in your brain. if you cut them off, they will get the message.

Couple Time Alone on a Sunday Drive

Carol — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 01:12:55 +0000

Before the Super Bowl on Sunday, Paul and I took a ride up a country rode into the mountains to stop by a store I’ve been meaning to visit for a long time, the Ben Lomond Mountain Feed and Farm Supply. What a charming and inviting country store. A series of stores, actually. A gift shop, a cooking store (where I tasted basil and garlic infused local honey) and a feed shop. Plants and gardening supplies along with really neat lawn decoration. Paul and I have plans to clean up our side yard and turn it into a vegetable garden this spring. I loved the stores, and I especially loved the private little getaway with my husband.

My Favorite Place

Carol — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:55:23 +0000

I’ve written about this before, but I can’t help but mention it again, I LOVE my studio. My husband built my art studio as a wedding present and it is by far my favorite room in the house, except it’s not in the house. It is in a building at the back of our property. My husband’s office is right next to mine. We get to work side by side. I love having my own special place. I come out here early in the morning before the kids are up and drink my chai and write. On weekends I am working on my SeaweedArt and in the evenings I write some more and sometimes read. It is my sanctuary. Thank you dearest husband for building this for me.

Weight Loss, the Best Kind of Loss

Carol — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:21:57 +0000

In spite of nibbling on a little guacamole during the Super Bowl, I still managed to lose even more weight and inches on my Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge. I’m down 8.5 pounds and 9 inches off of my measurements. Woo hoo!!! I can’t even begin to describe how great I feel.

SeaweedArt Featured in the Santa Cruz Sentinel

Carol — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:08:32 +0000

I’m so excited to share that my SeaweedArt greeting cards were featured in our local newspaper. I have been working very hard on this business for the past year and I am finally seeing the fruits of my labor. Not only am I selling cards (and soon launching other products), I’m becoming a recognized spokeswoman for ocean conservation. I’m getting requests from online retailers to include my cards in their product assortments and I was recently approached by a marine botanical cosmetic company to use my seaweed designs in their product packaging! So cool. I’m thrilled. What matters the most to me were the kind words my husband was quoted in the article about how proud he is of me. He has always been so supportive. Our love of the ocean and sailing is something we both share.

11-Year-Old Boy Speaks Up About the Industrialized Food Industry

Carol — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:42:04 +0000

I’m currently reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals by Michael Pollan, a very insightful, often times disturbing expose of the industrialized food industry. If you are not yet convinced that you should be eating organic, sustainable foods, then watch this video.

44 Days Into My Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge

Carol — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:14:19 +0000

Carol in her skinny pants

I’m almost halfway through my Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge and I’ve lost 7 pounds and almost 8 inches off of my measurements. Unbelievable! I feel fantastic. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. I didn’t realize just how much being overweight was such a drag on my self confidence. I’m not afraid to look in the mirror anymore. I’m losing the double chin. And…. today I was able to put on a pair of skinny pants that I have not been able to wear in years!!!! Not only did they fit, they were a little loose and I was comfortable because I was not “poured” into them. The shakes taste great and I don’t feel hungry.

I still have about 15 lbs to go to reach my goal weight, and when I do I’ll be posting my before and after bikini photos. Hopefully the “after” shots will be taken in a tropical setting, as Paul, my darling husband, has promised me a trip someplace warm very soon.