Sometimes it helps to have some direction for how to help each other grow, so I’ve pulled together a simple list of accountability questions that can be used. Here they are:

PRAY
• Have you spent time in focused prayer?
• Have you cultivated an ongoing conversation with God?
• Have you prayed for others?
• What answers to pray have you received?

GROW
• How have you experienced growth in your relationship with God?
• What have you learned through Scripture?
• What temptations have you faced and how did you respond?
• In what areas of life do you desire to grow in?

SERVE
• How have you served someone else with an attitude of love?
• Have you shared the gospel with someone in either word or action?

You’ll notice that these questions are based around the themes Pray, Grow, Serve. This is similar to the Rule of Life rhythm that I wrote about here.

So, give it a try! Start getting together with one or two other people and start asking each other these questions of accountability (it’ll only be effective if you are open and honest!) and watch your faith begin to deepen and grow!

Bonus:

Many of these types of simple, small groups will also encorporate pray for pre-believers (people who are not Christians yet) into their time together. I think this is great and helps us to think and live outwardly. To do this, just think of one person and begin to pray for that person as a group. Church Multiplication Associates has put together these prayers based on Scripture to help:

1. Lord, I pray that you draw ________ to Yourself (John 6:44)

2. I pray that ______ will seek to know You. (Acts 17:27)

3. I pray that _______ will hear and believe the Word of God for what it really is.
(I Thess.2:3)

4. I ask You, Lord, to prevent Satan from blinding ________ to the truth. (II Cor. 4:4)

5. Holy Spirit, I ask you to convict ______ of his/her sin and need for Christ’s redemption. (John 16:7-14)

7. I ask that you give me the opportunity, the courage and the right words to share the truth with _____. (Col. 4:3-6; Eph. 6:19-20)

8. Lord, I pray that ______ turns from his/her sin and follows Christ. (Acts 17:30-31, I Thess. 1:9-10)

9. Lord, I pray that ____ would put all his/her trust in Christ. (John 1:12; 5:24)

10. Lord, I pray that _____ will confess Christ as Lord, take root and grow in faith and bear much fruit for your glory. (Rom. 10:9-10; Col. 2:6-7, Luke 8:15)

Helpful Links:

• 3 is enough groups
• Church Multiplication Associates

If you try it out, be sure to leave a comment and let us know how it’s working for you.Similar Posts:

• None Found

That is the best word I have to describe the experience with the women of Real Life Community church at their first women’s retreat. As a speaker, I never know quite what to expect so I try to be open and ready for anything.

I was greeted by the smell of fresh coffee brewing, small round tables decorated for autumn and the smiling faces of the team setting up for the retreat. I immediately sensed a relaxed, open atmosphere. The Pastor’s wife, Jodi, set the pace with her laid back demeanor and sweetness. There was no hurry to begin until almost everyone was there. We played the “ungame” which helped me to quickly get to know the ladies in an informal format.

Jodi was also the worship leader and she shared a short reading about the importance of the Word and then explained we would be singing only

songs from Scripture. Now that was refreshing. She didn’t feel the need to impress anyone with her prowess on the keyboard or her great vocal ability – she was there to sing the Word. I hadn’t sung many of the songs in years but they came back to me quickly and in between coughing, I enjoyed singing the Word. Jodi was comfortable just hanging on a worship theme for awhile and letting us soak in His presence. Yes, there was an agenda but it was not the driving force for the day – ministering to the Lord in worship, sitting in His presence was the priority. Now, that’s refreshing.

The women were responsive and receptive as I talked about our Divine Design. The concept of the being God’s Masterpiece, the Crown of Creation, an Ezer Knegdo made to fulfill the Divine Commission through relationships seemed to really minister to them. We are desperately needed as women to fulfill our design so God’s mission on earth can be completed. We also went on a short Personality Safari to discover our personality design so we could better understand God’s purpose for us.

After a delicious lunch and fellowship we hung out in worship again. The agenda called for around twenty minutes of worship, for me to speak and pray with the ladies and be out by 3:00 pm. The agenda went out the door as we followed Jodi’s relaxed lead. I didn’t quite know what to expect, but the women were with Jodi all the way and everyone was focused on worship and prayer. I was trying to discern where the Lord was taking us when Jodi just started playing without singing and encouraged us to share whatever the Lord laid on our hearts. Some shared scripture, some lead in prayer and some of us just sang in the Spirit.

At one point the words “where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom” came to my mind and even though I hadn’t been able to sing much because of my cold and cough, I started singing a “new song” with those words. Then I felt lead to get the anointing oil and start anointing all the ladies and praying for them as the Spirit lead. What an experience. When we felt released to move on to the sharing of the Word we had been in worship for around an hour. The time had flown.

I was trying to discern whether I should speak or not but Jodi gave the nod and I knew I should. We ended with “Embracing Your Divine Design” and standing to proclaim the “I Ams” we had learned that day.

It was a powerful time of Proclamation and a very positive way to end the retreat.

I left blessed and refreshed on many levels. Blessed because these women were ready to receive the Word and willing to wait on the Lord in worship and prayer. I believe God is going to use them in a powerful way in their church and community to share the love of Jesus and reflect the glory and splendor of God. I left refreshed because I had waited on the Lord and been in His presence. Space had been given for worship through fellowship, the sharing of the Word, praise, prayer, body ministry and waiting on the Lord. The Body of Christ is alive and well in Real Life Community Church . Now that’s refreshing!

To celebrate the warm days while we have them, we’re throwing a party. We’ll have kayaks, canoes, paddleboats, bonfires-and even tacos! So, come out and enjoy hanging out with other young adults. We’ll provide the tacos, if you want to bring anything, contact me (Jeff). For directions, shoot me an email! So, join us at 4:30 this Sunday, October 11!

• A marvelous husband who has been faithfully supporting and loving for almost thirty-nine years of marriage.
•  Three grown children who are serving the Lord, married and have families of their own who actually live close by, for now.
• Five grandchildren who bring me more joy than I can describe — Chloe, Taylor and Tyler (twins), Maielle and Conner.
•  A praying mother who is still alive and very well at the age of 82 who supports me with her love and prayers.
• An incredible sister who is my confidant, friend, prayer partner, encourager and ministry support.
• A creative brother who writes and shares stories from history and the Word with me.
• Friends of different personalities with whom we endeavor to bring out the best in one another.
• Mentors who pour into my life and support me with prayer and accountability.
• A home to call my own in a wonderful neighborhood. (well, actually the bank still owns it but praise God for the income to pay the mortgage.)
• A job where I get to use my gifts, talents and passions to serve others and glorify God
• A growing speaking ministry where women are blessed and God is glorified as I share the truths God has taught me through the years.
• My health that supports my life and work.
• You are getting the idea — I have much to be thankful for and so do you.

The Scripture I read today from Psalm 90 says that we may live to be 70 or possibly 80, “yet their boast is only sorrow and labor.” I think Moses was a little depressed on the day he wrote this. I can boast of more than sorrow and labor. I boast of many blessings from the Lord. Yes, there were years of emotional pain, weeks of physical pain, lessons to be learned the hard way, rejection and disappoints, days of want and need, confusion and sorrow. BUT, the days, weeks and years of joy out number them all.

Psalm 90 also tells us to “number our days well that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” He’s simply saying to realize that our days are short so make sure that in the midst of all that’s going on we make “wisdom” a priority. Learn from it all so you don’t have to repeat the low days because of your own doing.

Praise God I’m on Day 21866 and counting, endeavoring to make the most of each and every day God gives me because they are definitely numbered.

The first part of the book is spent dissecting what he sees as the shortcomings of the modern church. The second is spent setting a foundation of the church that Larry says he would go to. This kind of church is built on 4 things: Spiritual Theology, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual Community, and Spiritual Mission.

Though this is a tough topic to write on, Crabb, who is known for his blatant honesty, does well. At times, it can seem like he is just complaining, but if you continue to read, you’ll find that he also offers ideas and possible solutions. You may get upset, or may get encouraged, but hopefully you’ll come out at the end with some ideas on how to build and restore the Church that Jesus envisions.

From the description:

What’s happening to the Church? Why are so many people who for decades have been faithful, steady churchgoers (and others who want to start going to church but can’t seem to find one that meets their needs) losing interest in even attending church, let alone getting involved? What is fundamentally wrong with the “types” of churches (Seeker, Bible, Emergent, Liberal, Evangelical) that dot the religious landscape? Larry Crabb believes it is time to rethink the entire foundation and focus of what we know today as church — everything we’re doing and are wanting to see happen. In his most honest and vulnerable book to date, the author reveals his own struggles in this area and then offers a compelling vision of why God designed us to live in community with Him and others, and what the church he wants to be a part of looks like.

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In this brief series, I’ve discussed what could be seen as a Rule of Life Tripod. Three simple things to build our daily life around: Prayer, Scripture, and Service. In this post, I’ll wrap it up by looking at the third leg: Service.

Service – following the example of Jesus, the one who came not to be served but to serve

I think that living a life of service is just as central to following Jesus as prayer and Scripture are. The example Jesus set for us was one of living for the sake of others. Consider these Scriptures that point the way to a life of service:

Mark 10:45 – For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Philippians 2:3-5 – Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus

Ephesians 6:7 – Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men,

If we are following Jesus, then we will naturally begin to look outside of ourselves and to how we can serve and help those around us. However, though this should begin to happen naturally, we also need to intentionally serve people. We can’t just wait until we want to serve, we have to learn to discipline our self and practice Christ-like service.

Just as we make prayer and Scripture a normal part of our daily rhythm, we ought to live each day with our eyes open and our hearts willing to serve those we come in contact with.

So, how can you live a life of service to those you work with, your neighbors, your family and friends? How can you serve with an attitude of love and as if you are serving God?

Here is a simple prayer to help us open our hearts to God in service:

“Lord Jesus, as it would please you bring me someone today whom I can serve.” from Celebration of Discipline

So, to recap our Simple Rule of Life:

I want to shape my daily life around the rhythms of

• Prayer – an ongoing relational conversation with God
• Scripture – a reading, studying, and meditation on the Message of God
• Service – living everyday with an open heart, eyes, and hands ready to serve and help others in the way of Jesus

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The second leg of the Rule of Life Tripod is Scripture.

Scripture – not just a quick reading, but an immersion in Scripture that cleanses and transforms us as we read, study, meditate, memorize, and live it

We begin with prayer in which we learn to develop an ongoing conversation with God and now we move to Scripture in which God continues to speak to us and bring about the life transformation we need. In seeing Scripture as part of a rule of life (a rhythm for daily living) we need to go beyond just thinking in terms of a quick reading of a holy book to an understanding that Scripture is the God-breathed Word that is “useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that all God’s people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

In order to give Scripture the “space” it needs in our life, we should learn to regularly read, study, meditate and memorize it. We do all of this in order that we might learn to live it out. James 1:22-25 tells us, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Those who listen to the word but do not do what it says are like people who look at their faces in a mirror and, after looking at themselves, go away and immediately forget what they look like. But those who look intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continue in it—not forgetting what they have heard but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”

But, we must also see that Scripture is not just another rule book with a list of commands we learn. Scripture is alive and through it, God speaks to us each individually and shaped us personally into the person He envisions us becoming. Therefore, we need to practice listening to the Bible as well.

As Christians, we need to become “People of the Book” – people who hold the Bible in the center of their lives. As George Mueller said…

The vigor of our spiritual life is in direct proportion to the place we hold the Bible in our thoughts.

Some Tips

• Start each and end each day with the Bible
• Learn to study the Bible in a more in depth way – our minds conform to what they study
• Learn to read slowly and try to memorize Scripture
• Write Scripture on a note card and take it with you so you can continually refer back to it throughout the day
• Talk about what God is teaching you – Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

детская киска

What are some of your ideas of how you can make Scripture a central part of your daily life?

Check out these other posts about the Bible

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We might be a little short on chairs, so if you have a folding chair of some sort–bring it!

The Alpha Course at Calvary is right around the corner! Check out www.faith-journey.com/alpha for details.

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Prayer

We can think of prayer as an ongoing conversation with God that not only roots our day (by beginning and ending our day with him), but also weaves throughout it as we are in constant conversation with him. To make prayer a part of our rule of life, we need to learn to see prayer as more than just a few sporadic moments, but as a way of life. Prayer should involve devoted and specific times, but it should also be something we take with us throughout the day.

We can learn to pray as we work by continually turning our hearts and minds toward God and by doing our work as if we were doing it for the Lord. We can learn to weave simple prayers into our daily tasks by praying for God’s blessing on what we are doing, thanking God, and praying for others that are around us. We can be creative in our prayers as well since we each have unique ways in which our day unfolds – we can pray for family, coworkers, clients, customers, etc. We can also invite God into our day by having conversation with him about what we are doing – asking his opinion on things and listening for his leading at all times.

We can also practice what Frank Laubach called “flash prayers” – quick silent prayers for people that he saw and interacted with throughout the day, co-operating with the Holy Spirit to intercede on peoples behalf.

Prayer is central to the Christian faith, and it should be central to the life of every Christian. Prayer can sometimes be difficult, but we need to remember that prayer is something that we learn – it takes consistent practice. God wants to be an active part of our daily life, and by entering into an ongoing conversation with Him, we are opening up our life to his involvement. But, be forewarned when that happens, God just might start to speak to you and lead you in ways you’ve never experienced.

Here are a few recommended books for learning more about prayer:

Lastly, for discussion, how do you see prayer as a central part of your life with God? What are some creative prayer exercises that you can practice?Similar Posts:

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• The Playful, funloving Sanguines slip into depression when life is not fun anymore. Fun for them is going out to eat, partying, shopping and spending money.

• The Powerful, Achieving Choleric gets depressed when life is out of control and their forward progress is impeded. Not being able to fulfill your goals for lack of money can be very depressing.

• The Proper, Perfect Melancholy sinks into dpression when life is out of order and life gets messy. Being very careful with their money, a financial crises can send them into a tailspin if they weren’t ready for it.

• The world of the Peaceful, mellow Phlegmatic is turned upside down when life is too full of conflict and having financial stress creates a lot of conflict.

An economic crises where jobs are lost and income reduced, retirement and investments cut in half, health insurance no longer affordable and bills piled high is a recipe for depression for any personality. What’s a personality to do?

The playful Sanguines tend to deal with their pain through eating, shopping or some other fun activity while stuffing their pain. The Cholerics work harder as pressure and anger builds and they push the pain out of their minds. The Perfects worry, fret, and retreat further into their negative thinking. The Peacefuls don’t do anything in exteme but seem to have even less energy and motivation further frustrating their desire for peace from others who want them to “do something.”

What should we do? Instead of denying and trying to escape our pain we need to face it head on.

• The Melancholy Perfects need to take time to process their thinking alone and then find a very close friend with whom they can talk about what they are thinking and feeling. Process the pain instead of letting it fester. Perfects are great at making strategies. Come up with a strategy for making it through the crises and work it. Focus on the possibilities instead of the problem. Praise the Lord in the middle of the crises and he will give you a new perspective on your situation — His.

• The Playful Sanguines need to talk about what they are thinking and feeling with a friend. Check their thinking to bring it captive to the Word of God. Are you telling yourself the truth? Some discipline may be called for in your spending and eating habits or the way you spend your time — that feels like pain but you will like the results later. Go ahead and have some fun but make it something affordable that’s not centered around food. Enjoy just being with family and friends. Listen to your praise and worship CD’s while driving, cooking, or relaxing; they will help to lift your spirit.

• Cholerics love a challenge like a crises. They actually can flourish in a crises. You feel like you need to “do something.” You do, but instead of trying to control others to try to bring a sense of comfort to you, inventory what you might need to change and control that. You see the problem. If you don’t know the answer then seek answers by reading books, magazines or the internet. There are experts out there who can help with your financial problems. Reading a book and coming up with a plan of action can give you a sense of control in the midst of a crises. Ellie Kay has some excellent books on finances such as “Living Rich for Less.” Above all, stand on the Word of God. The Word is your sword or weapon of choice. Memorize a couple of verses and repeat them if motivation wains.

• Peaceful Phlegmatics tend to put their head in the sand and ignore problems but it doesn’t make them go away. It usually just frustrates others. While others are over reacting you are the one with the strength to keep your cool. Look at the problem and admit there is a financial problem. Listen to what others are saying and weigh their solutions. You desire peace in the midst of this storm but remember peace is not the absence of bad weather, but the confidence that you will make it through the storm. Take a look in the Word to see what God says about providing for you. He is Jehovah Jireh, your provider. You can put your confidence in Him even when you can’t in man. Pray and ask God for wisdom and guidance through the storm. Of all the personalities you have the patience to wait out the storm. You bring a sense of calm and level headedness to others. Allow God to use you to minister to others.

Each personality blend has their own needs when a crises hits to keep them from becoming distracted and depressed. But no matter what your personality there are principles from the Word of God to guide you. Philippians 4:4,6-7 ,8 says

• “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”
•  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
  
• 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Rejoice whether you feel like it or not! Sing, praise, worship and rejoice in the Lord! Next pray and give thanks. Prayer allows you to process your needs and give them to God. Thanksgiving is an act of faith. You’re having faith that God is going to do this and you’re thanking Him ahead of time. Think on what is true and put those things into practice in your life. Be intentional in your thinking, bring it captive to the Word of God. Consequently, God’s peace with be with you and you can go through anything when God is with you — confidence (peace) that He will see you through the storm. Now that’s a plan for overcoming crises depression.  

Don’t let the name “rule” throw you off though! This isn’t about being ritualistic and legalistic, but it is about living a disciplined life of training. Really, if we think about it, we all already live by a rule of life. We have those daily rhythms that determine how we spend our time, energy, and where we put our focus. So, the point of a Christian Rule of Life is to train us to not be “conformed to the pattern of this world”, but to be “conformed to Christ”.

As I’ve been thinking about this, the following three things have surfaced as a possible Rule of Life “tripod”:

1. Prayer – an ongoing conversation with God that not only roots our day (by beginning and ending our day with him), but also weaves throughout it as we are in constant conversation with him
2. Scripture – not just a quick reading, but an immersion in Scripture that cleanses and transforms us as we read, study, meditate, memorize, and live it
3. Service – following the example of Jesus, the one who came not to be served but to serve

What might our daily life look like if we built it on these three simple things? Is this tripod missing anything to you? How could you begin to shape your daily living around these three things?Similar Posts:

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Mark 6:31

“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

In a world in which we are constantly tempted to “log in”, we need to become even more intentional about “logging out”. Jesus taught us that in the midst of the busyness of life, we must intentionally get away to refocus, slow down, and be with God. When we make this a regular part of our routine, it helps to center us and give us clarity in life. And as we experience this rest in God, we learn to not be so attached to the many other things that grab for our attention.

Here are some practical ways we can intentionally unplug, so we can “plug in” to God.

• don’t check email after a certain time of day
• set a time limit for how long you spend online
• remember that you don’t always have to answer the cell phone
• do a “media fast” – turn off all media (TV, Internet, etc.) for a few days, learn to enjoy the silence
• when you go on vacation, go on a vacation from things like Facebook, Twitter, Myspace
• make one day a week a “log in free” day, when you don’t do things like check email, blogs, etc. – spend time engaging people face to face
• take a day and really get away with God – just you and Him
• let the last few moments of your day be spent in quietness and prayer, not in a noisy bombardment of television

These are just some ideas, they are not legalistic rules. However, there is discipline involved, we have to make a choice to go against our ingrained pattern and that can be difficult. But, remember that discipline brings freedom.

Jesus is inviting us to come away with him, to unplug and learn to rest in God’s presence.

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When we find our soul’s satisfaction in God, we are able to fully enjoy life the way God intended us to.

Pursuing and desiring God is not just a permanent denial of things that bring us enjoyment, it is putting God as our primary desire and learning to see that he has given us all good things to enjoy (1 Timothy 6:17).

Psalm 36:8-9

They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light we see light.

The key is to not become like King Solomon who ended up enjoying the gifts more than he did the Giver. He sought to fulfill his soul’s desire with things other than God and found that it doesn’t work! (Ecclesiastes)

Desire – deep inside each one of us there is a longing. We may try to cover up this nagging feeling, or we may attempt to satisfy it. But, until we understand that our soul’s craving is for God, all of our attempts will fall short.

What do you want? What desire is driving your life?

• Financial stability
• Social status
• Intellectual superiority
• Material possessions
• Career success

These things are not necessarily evil in and of themselves, but they are not the “flowing stream of water” that will satisfy the deep longing of our soul.

And as long as we desire them, we will pursue them, but only to be left still thirsty.

To desire God is to desire:

• his presence in your life – as the defining presence
• his purpose for your life – as the defining purpose
• his power working through your life – as the only true power
• his glory above your own

A test to truly see what you desire: take it away.

(the practice of fasting helps us to get a clearer picture of the things we desire as we deny our self of certain things – food, possessions, entertainment, etc.)

Jesus, as he neared the point of his life being taken away, prayed to his father, “not my will, but your will be done.” and proclaimed that “it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”

Paul tells Timothy “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

God wants us to desire Him alone and find our joy in him. When we do, we are able to fully and truly enjoy the things that God gives. When we delight ourselves in him, he will give us the desires of our hearts. It’s about pursuing God and letting the other things fall where they may.

As the Apostle Paul discovered, “whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him”

May we learn to truly say with the Psalmist:

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

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We start with a potluck dinner, then we spend time learning from and praying for each other. Bring something to share for a the dinner and come join us for a journey of faith!

Sunday Nights beginning on June 28th @ 6:00 pm at my house (Pastor Jeff). I live about a mile from Calvary. Email, call/text me (302-632-0637) for directions.

Become a member of AmeriCorps and complete your service project with Central Delaware Habitat for Humanity (CDHFH) as a Volunteer Coordinator. The Volunteer Coordinator will assist in recruiting, retaining and recognition of volunteers for CDHFH.

For more info, download the full job description and contact Jocelyn McBride.

If you’re interested in volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, join people from Calvary on Saturdays as they help build houses. Contact Paul Bowman for more details.

3 bedroom 2 bathroom ground floor condo available July 1st. Heat, hot and cold water, sewer, trash, fitness center and pool are included in 1000.00 month rent. Condo is 1210sqft. Call Laura on her cell to make an appointment: 302-270-7293.

Beautiful 3 bedroom 1.5 Bath house in a very quiet neighborhood. House has new roof, new ceramic tile in basement, hardwood floors and a warm den with real wood panelling and a fireplace. Second fireplace in large living room. Lots of built-ins in living room, dining room, bedrooms and partially finished basement. A Must See. Only $1150.00 per month and only 1 month’s rent for security deposit. Must have leased by July 1st…so please act now. 12 month lease! To read more and see some pics, check out Charlie and Jen’s blog here.

Using the theme, I described the four different personalities using the different characteristics of the Zebra, Jaguar, Tiger and Lion. As I read about each animal I was surprised how well they fit into one of the personalities. I was pleased to discover that while the Lion is King of the Jungle he was not the Choleric Born Leader as others have described. He sleeps twenty hours a day. Most Cholerics I know sleep less than any other personality; its a waste of time. To find out which personality fits each animal you’ll have to schedule me to speak. Hmm… In the afternoon I gave them a Personality Challenge to accept, embrace and Celebrate their Divinely Designed body and personality.

Thanks to the wonderful ladies of the South Central West Section in Pennsylvania for their kind invitation to speak. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with them. May you dare to step out of the boat of public opinion and into God’s view and Divine Design for you.

In 1983 I was going through a hormonal depression. My goals had been thwarted by an unplanned pregnancy, life was no fun because I spent most of my day sick and at home. I felt like a mess. I had spent most of my life comparing myself with others and usually came up “wanting.” Too loud, too opinionated, cared too much, too bold, too intense, and the list goes on. Too much or not enough of something.  It just seemed like there was something wrong with me.

 A lady in the church had just moved from California and she was going through a depression too. She gave me the book Personality Plus signed by Florence Littauer. As I read it I laughed and cried. For the first time I realized that there wasn’t something wrong with me. I just wasn’t a Perfectly organized, scheduled, sensitive, quietly reserved Melancholy. I definitely was not a calm, cool, collected Peaceful Phlegmatic. I was a Choleric/Sanguine and it was okay to be me.

 It was as if a weight had been lifted from my soul. I wish I could say that I accepted my personality right away but I didn’t. Cholerics are not popular. It took me a few years but it started me on my journey to wholeness and my identity in Christ.

In 1987 I went through another depression but this one was not hormonal; it was a spiritual surgery. I had stuffed the pain of abuse and was oblivious to the cloak of shame that shrouded my spirit and soul. The surgery took a year of sitting at the feet of Jesus, searching the Word, worshipping at the piano, saying the name of Jesus. I had lost my smile and didn’t know what was wrong with me but I was leaning on the Lord and underneath me were his everlasting arms.

I soaked my mind and heart in Romans 3-8, Ephesians and Colossians. One morning when I knelt to pray and journal I suddenly  “got it.” The light bulb came on and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was “accepted in the beloved.” Others may never accept me as a Choleric/Sanguine but I am totally and unconditionally loved and accepted by the one who knows me best – my heavenly Father. I never felt accepted by my own father so this was especially comforting to me.

Not long after that God supernaturally orchestrated a friend to ask me out to coffee. It was a Phlegmatic friend who was very good at listening and being quiet. I poured my heart out to her for forty five minutes. Then out of no where I started sharing about my abuse, the pain and the shame. Freedom came almost immediately and has kept coming in waves of His grace.

To make a long story short, knowing the personalities was a tool that opened my mind to know, accept and celebrate who I am. Knowing my identity in Christ has defeated the giant of shame. I’m no longer in a row boat, up the creek without a paddle but I’m a majestic Tall ship sailing the uncharted seas of life with confidence. The ship’s keel is weighted with my knowledge of the Word, the Masts are lifted high by faith and are holding the sails of my identity in Christ. The Holy Spirit blows on the sails empowering me to navigate the stormy, rough waters or calm breezes of life.

I’m no longer tossed to and fro by the opinions of people –I’m anchored in the Word. I’m a Powerful Choleric submitted to the control of the Holy Spirit and I’m a Popular Sanguine cheering others on to become all God has designed them to be – Uniquely His

Refreshing and stress free are two adjectives I would use to describe Dobbins UMC Women’s Retreat this past weekend in Ocean City, NJ. The Personalities was our topic for the weekend and specifically understanding ourselves and others so we can get along better. Well, most of these ladies were Peaceful Phlegmatics/Perfect Melancholies so it made for a peaceful, calm weekend.

Even though the participants hadn’t taken the personality profile yet, when they started putting their group puzzle together I knew we had a Peaceful group. I was the loudest person there. Gerry (Sanguine/Phlegmatic) and her group of ladies, which included one Sanguine/Choleric, mostly stood to put their puzzle together. They meant business and it paid off as they were the first to complete their puzzle. Corine Elliotts group was the loudest with one Sanguine/Choleric and one Phlegmatic/Sanguine but they never finished the puzzle. But we did have fun!

Chris, Joann, Sue and Barbara led us in worship with their beautifully harmonizing voices. Their harmony was a living example of our need for “harmony” in relationships. I was so blessed by their choice of songs and the sweet presence of God. When they sang “How Beautiful” by Twila Paris I had to weep as it confirmed the leading of the Lord for Saturday night’s session. Their sensitivite ministry blessed us all.

I left Ocean City on Sunday morning feeling refreshed and energized. Refreshed from being in the presence of the Lord and energized because of these wonderful ladies. I hope they were as blessed as I was by being with them. The beauty of Jesus shown through them all weekend.

James 3: 17-18 in The Message tells us  “Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced.You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.

Knowing, understanding and accepting who we are is the beginning of getting along with others. As we understand how people are wired differently by the Divine Designer we can treat them with dignity and honor because different isn’t wrong; it’s just different — uniquely His.

 As a parent left at home alone we are at the mercy of our children’s decisions; or we manipulate to get our way. I realize none of us would manipulate – or would we? The manipulator, no matter what personality, tries to play on the emotions and make their son or daughter feel guilty for not coming home for Christmas. What’s a couple to do?

My Pastor husband always covers this territory in his pre-marital counseling because it’s a mine field waiting to explode. The wife has always celebrated Christmas at Grandma Antonelli’s with not just immediate family but Aunt’s and Uncles,  Cousins and Nephews, Great Aunts,  and Great. Great  Grandparents. Hubby’s used to a quiet Christmas with his family of four. This is a recipe for disaster if not discussed beforehand.

Christmas is a family holiday and should be spent with family. With a little bit of planning ahead and compromise you really can come to a place of least conflict.  Our children take turns being with us or with in-laws. Fortunately, only one couple is gone on any given holiday. So, this year its Aaron and Jen’s turn to go to the Majure Christmas Celebration in New Castle , PA. We will miss them but celebrate together once they return. Ryan and Rachel spent Thanksgiving with the Russels and their Aunts and Uncles, cousins and nephews, great Aunts and Uncles and Great, great Grandparents – you get the idea. But next Thanksgiving they will be here.

The real problem happens when all the relatives live in the same general area and you’re expected to spend a little bit of the holiday with each group. Hmm…now what do you do with four sets of relatives to visit? One group may be more vocal and expect more of you than the other and the squeaky wheel gets the attention. Try not to allow this to happen. Why not make a plan and stick with it no matter how much they complain. Plan ahead to spend Easter with Grandparents, Thanksgiving with one side of family and Christmas with the other side. Then change it for next year. Once you have children of your own start inviting the parents to your own home and give them a break.

You really can’t please all the people all the time. If in-laws and parents know that you are taking turns they will adjust eventually. Its really not fair to allow one side of the family to dominate just because the family has always gotten together on Christmas eve with the grandparents. It’s time to shake it up and start new traditions and take turns. Maybe even one Christmas at home alone… now that’s a thought.

With some firm, open communication and planning ahead you really can avert those Christmas wars for your time and attention. The first person to complain may be the manipulator so be careful. Christmas is a time for family and the two of you really are a family.

I believe Sarah stands out because she’s real. She’s a wife and working mother. Her family has challenges to face and tight ropes to walk. She doesn’t have a silver spoon in her mouth and she pays bills just like you and me. She could be our neighbor, our friend or co-worker. But, unlike some, Sarah’s fully alive and vivacious, eyes alert, head held high, ready to face what ever comes her way. She isn’t easily discouraged or stopped. She’s not afraid of difficult situations and she has not given up hope that one person really can make a difference.

Sarah has accomplished in Alaska what many of us would love to be able to see accomplished on the national level — corruption exposed and ousted, frivolous spending cut, budget balanced, taxes cut, and money returned to the tax payer. It’s like she has come riding on a white horse like a super hero.

Even though some pundits didn’t like what she had to say they had to admit that Sarah is a gifted communicator. She spoke with confidence and poise. Fluent, in spite of a faulty prompter, she delivered a flawless speech connecting personally with the audience.

Sarah is simply being true to who she is in design and purpose. She, like Deborah, has been called out to do something bigger than herself. She has been called to be a leader, communicator, change agent of the status quo – a charismatic Choleric/Sanguine. She’s not afraid of conflict, or the opinion of man but answers to a higher authority.

I pray that her example will cause us as women to evaluate how well we are fulfilling our Divine Design. Are we being true to whom God has gifted us to be or are we paralyzed by fear of man? Are we taking the small steps as opportunity knocks or self-protecting? Are we preparing through training or finding excuses why we cannot? 

Sarah, like you, is Uniquely His – a child of God. She has a unique personality, gifting, desires, and abilities that flow from the Divine Design within her. It may be different from you but that doesn’t make her wrong. You might never desire to be a working Mom or aspire to public office. You may never want to step on a stage to face a huge crowd or the power brokers. But a Holy Discontent inside of her has called her to push through the roar of dissenting voices to answer that call. Let’s at least support her right to fulfill her personal calling and design.

I went scrapbooking this past weekend – something I’ve never done before. I packed up all my supplies and more than enough clothes for the weekend and traveled to Newark to commence cutting and pasting pictures, tags, swirls, letters etc.

Somehow I just get lost in the creative process while all the cares, agendas and voices of responsibility drift from my consciousness. What a wonderful feeling. No ringing of the phone, no “what’s for dinner,” no “did you wash my shirt”, no “you have to get this done?” — just focusing on creating memories.

At one point while deep in the creative process I heard the words “you set my alarm.” I had actually heard most of the conversation but these words struck a subconscious chord – my writing chord. I had just been given a creative phrase for writing. I immediately stopped and wrote it down while making a mental note of its significance.

Normally a phrase with “alarm” in it would not be a positive phrase. I live with an internal alarm that is set off by different circumstances; the Mommy alarm, the wife alarm, the dinner alarm, the deadline alarm, or the “wake up out of a perfect sleep” alarm which jars me to reality. I live for the day when I can sleep until my eyes just pop open – without the alarm.

However, in this case the phrase “you set my alarm” was a good phrase. My new friend was talking about how their lives had changed dramatically since her husband was on shift work. Their normal lives of doing everything together had been turned upside down and inside out. But here she was thanking her husband for setting her alarm. He didn’t give it a second thought. What was so special about resetting the alarm after he had risen from bed? She answered him emphatically, “you set my alarm.”

I knew exactly what she meant. On the few occasions when my husband has to get up earlier than me, I have to reset the alarm. He doesn’t even know how to set it. Sometimes just getting awake enough to reset the alarm is enough to wake me up completely. If I don’t reset it then I’m constantly thinking about missing my wake-up time and, consequently I don’t really sleep. Or, I fall asleep and dream of missing the expected responsibility. It’s terribly frustrating.

So, when she was thanking for husband for that small task of resetting the alarm, I understood its significance. I got it. It’s a small act that makes a huge difference. It’s an act of consideration. “You set my alarm” says I love you in a big way.

My husband may not reset the alarm but he does many small acts of consideration that say “I love you” in a big way. Let’s not take those small acts for granted. Thank your husband, children or friend for small acts of consideration. Or, just maybe, “set their alarm” for once.

I quickly re-immersed myself in the creative process of scrapbooking. However, I didn’t just bring home sixteen pages of memories; but new friendships upon which to build and a reminder to “set someone’s alarm.”

There once was a man, his name John, sent by God to point out the way to the Life-Light. He came to show everyone where to look, who to believe in. John was not himself the Light; he was there to show the way to the Light.
Interesting!

What was so confusing that God needed to use a man to point the way to the light of life?

· Were there so many religions that people were being deceived and confused as to who God was?

· Had tradition replaced life-giving faith in God?

· Was the world so dark that it couldn’t even see the light right in front of them?

· I wonder…

· God sent a man to show everyone where to look for the life-light, who to believe in.

· Before the gospels there had been four hundred years of silence from God – no prophets proclaiming, no scripture written, nothing,,, and then here comes a man – a simple man – a strange man.

· Things must have gotten grim indeed.

· But into the darkness, grim silence walks a man…

· God is always faithful to send a man or woman into the darkness to pierce it with the light of lights – Jesus incarnate in us, living and breathing, transforming and reflecting His splendor and glory.

· That is the light – His splendor and glory being reflected through our lives.

· What a privilege!

· What a responsibility!

Don’t we need that today too?

· Good is called evil and evil declared good.

· Tolerance and diversity in the place of down right sin.

· America no longer called a Christian nation but a diverse nation. What does that mean? Diverse gods, diverse religions, diverse beliefs, diverse tolerance of whatever seems right in the eyes of man has spawned a revolution.

· Darkness is overtaking the light. Confusion has clouded faith, meism taken over theism, tolerance replaced reason, disillusionment dulled passions silencing the prayers of God’s people.

· We’re drowning in the muck and mire of our choices, our consciousnesses darkened, the light almost snuffed out by relativism and gods of seduction, self-delusion and self-deism.

Oh God, where is the man or woman who will point us to the life light?

9-12The Life-Light was the real thing: Every person entering Lifehe brings into Light.

He was in the world, the world was there through him, and yet the world didn’t even notice.
He came to his own people, but they didn’t want him.
But whoever did want him, who believed he was who he claimed
and would do what he said, He made to be their true selves, their child-of-God selves.