burndive: hacking my mind

Facebook Comments: On Renee Good and Alex Pretti's deaths being a result of "the left's manufactured deception"

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Fri, 6 Feb 2026 15:22:00 -0800

Original post (shared by friend):

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=26853208760932570&set=a.692547647425372

My comment:

You are perpetuating a false state narrative.

Tell me: if no one had filmed their deaths at the hand of ICE, who would know the truth? Would you believe Kristi Noem and Greg Bovino that they were terrorists attacking federal officers?

These two, like others, were there to help their neighbors, to stand in the way when others were treated unjustly, to witness and provide the truth to the rest of us. The truth is worth dying for, when lies are used for murder and oppression.

The truth about what ICE is doing (violating the Constitution, targeting law-abiding immigrants rather than only the "hardened criminals" that they claim to be after, and dishing out violence to people merely for witnessing them or being nearby) is evident to the whole world, because ordinary people decided that they would stand against it with their neighbors. They did it nonviolently, even when being pepper sprayed in the face, tear gassed, and shot at with rubber bullets.

Nothing could be more American or more in line with what Jesus taught his disciples by his words and example. Watch the videos of Alex Pretti.

Summary of OP's response:

The poster asked me to read the following article with regard to a biblical view of illegal immigration:

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/bible/what-does-the-bible-say-about-illegal-immigration.html

My response:

Thank you for wanting to engage in a discussion.

I read the article, and most of what they say is good and balanced, but the argument they present that the Bible has a category of "legal immigration" and "illegal immigration" does not line up with our modern categories of geographical national borders and citizenship.

First of all in OT times, there was no border in the modern sense, only walled cities and unwalled towns, with loose jurisdiction over the farmland and wilderness between them: people in biblical times could move freely to other lands, and the Bible contains no instructions to stop "foreigners" from becoming "sojourners" and eventually "citizens". In fact logically, the only way one could become a "sojourner" is to either start as a "foreigner", settle down, and assimilate, or to start as a Canaanite native to the land but foreign to Israel. Bathsheba was originally married to Uriah the Hittite, for example: one of the Canaanite peoples, but on the way to assimilation under David's rule in Jerusalem.

The only exception to this would be for armies from rival cities coming in war to subjugate or exterminate the people living there. (And if you're going to argue that's what's happening in America--an "invasion" at the southern border--then I don't think you'd be arguing in good faith.)

That said, I have no fundamental objection to immigration laws and border control. (Neither do mainstream democrats, by the way: the bogeyman of "open borders" is used to scare Republicans by making a false picture of Democrats.) Overall, I would argue that our immigration policy for the past several decades has been out of line with reality, and the result has been that we have taken advantage of undocumented immigrants for their labor without fair recognition or protection. What I mean is that our economy has a demand for immigrant labor not satisfied by our native population, and rather than constructing a system that is able to handle the capacity that we need in an orderly manner, we have created a de-facto system, where immigrants come in and fill jobs, but we don't protect them from exploitation by employers and criminals. They have gotten a raw deal, and meanwhile we have allowed a system of smugglers and of rewarding those who come undocumented over those who go through the legal process.

The blame for this is primarily in Congress. Both parties have perpetuated the broken system, and they have abdicated the maintenance of the broken system to the executive branch. Different presidents handle things in vastly different ways, leading to more chaos, unfairness, and human suffering.

Regardless, I don't think we have a fundamental disagreement with the idea of maintaining border control. I, and many others, do see our immigration "policy" (or hodge-podge of de-facto policies and uneven enforcement) as a source of injustice. While undocumented immigrants have violated the civil immigration law in coming here, this does not make them evil. This does not make them criminals. This *especially* has nothing to do with their children. Most importantly, this does not make them not our neighbor.

I think your application of John 10:1 is WAY out of context: Jesus is talking about his right to shepherd Israel (and the gentiles) because he does not ask his followers to die so that he can live and exercise self-serving power (as so many zealot revolutionaries did), but he laid down his life for the sheep. It is a property analogy about an enclosure of sheep, and it has *nothing* to do with national borders with walls to control migration (which, again, didn't exist at the time), or even a walled city-state constructed to repel invading armies.

This brings us to the point: what did Renee Good and Alex Pretti think they were putting themselves in danger for?

To start, ICE's surge in Minnesota was not *merely* focused on apprehending illegal immigrants with criminal arrest warrants, criminal convictions, etc. Yes, they were doing that, but they were ALSO going on a huge fishing expedition to try and round up as many people as they could, in order to deport them. They were rounding up immigrants, *regardless of their immigration status*: people with valid asylum cases; people with orders from judges saying they were not to be deported. People who looked non-white and started leaving when ICE showed up at a workplace or business that they thought illegal immigrants would frequent and grabbing people. They were rounding up US citizens in the process, even Native Americans. Needless to say, thousands of ICE agents doing this in a city is a recipe for disorder. ICE would smash windows and pull people out of cars, and just leave the cars in the street. ICE would take parents into custody, and either take the children as well, or just leave the children. People were being apprehended, and rather than processing them in a local court, where family and lawyers have access, they would simply disappear to a detention center in Texas, thousands of miles away. Families didn't know where their loved ones were taken, or how to prove to authorities that they had valid documentation or status.

And the ICE agents were brutal and undisciplined. They used excessive force. They destroyed property unnecessarily, they covered their faces, wore combat gear, and did not wear identifying badges. They broke into homes in violation of the 4th amendment.

We are only starting to get a picture of what happens in ICE custody, but there have been many, credible, corroborating stories of neglect, torture, and extortion. The torture will stop if you sign a paper consenting to be deported.

Rather than sit by while all of this injustice was happening, the people of Minneapolis started warning their neighbors that ICE was in the area by blowing whistles. The people didn't know who had legal status and who didn't, who was a dangerous criminal and who wasn't, but too many people were being taken, and in such a brutal manner, that it no longer mattered: it needed to stop. As people protested, they started recording what ICE was doing on their phones. ICE continued their brutal tactics, not only towards those they were apprehending, but also toward the growing number of people blowing whistles, yelling, and recording them on their phones.

After Renee Good was shot by ICE it became clear that ICE was sent to the city specifically to provoke a riot. But the people of Minneapolis did not riot: they resisted, but peacefully. They recorded what was happening and showed the world. Alex Pretti was not causing trouble. He was directing traffic when ICE had caused a blockage in the street. When an ICE agent got in his face, he backed away until he was off the street. Another ICE agent shoved a woman on the street to the ground. He bent to help her, and was attacked with pepper spray to the face. Then he was dragged backwards away from the woman he was protecting and brought to his knees. Several ICE agents started beating him. He was armed, but he never made any move for his holster. In the video, you can hear one of the agents saying "gun, gun". An ICE agent approached, unholstered Alex's gun from his waistline, and walked away with it. Seconds later, while Alex was still on his hands and knees, beaten and pepper sprayed, two ICE agents opened fire on him. They fired 10 shots at point blank range.

Being a law enforcement officer is a difficult job, and protecting yourself and those around you from deadly threats in volatile situations is a serious responsibility. Nonetheless, what happened to Alex Pretti was a firing squad. Perhaps the ICE agents heard that he had a gun and didn't know he was disarmed. Still, he had made no threatening move. There are so many videos from so many angles, and none of them show Alex doing anything threatening. This was unjust. Whether because of a mistake or incompetence and poor training (the latter make the former more likely), throwing thousands of ICE agents kitted for war into a city, and tasked with dragging out its residents had the predictable effect.

So, was it worth it to resist? I think it was. If ICE was doing in my town what they did in Minneapolis, I would protest. I would record them. I would help my neighbors. And I might get shot doing it. But I would rather put myself in danger to help resist injustice than sit by and do nothing.

Legal doesn't mean right. Government power being "ordained by God" means that the when the government enforces justice that we are accountable to God to respect that as a God-given role, but it also means that government is accountable to God to enforce justice and not injustice. Jesus told Pilate, "You would have no power over me unless it had been given from above." Government does not get to define what justice is: only God does. Many Christians bandy about Romans 13 whenever they approve of the government, but it is a two-edged sword.

My follow-up comment:

You mentioned an investigation, and I think it's important to point out that right now the only "investigation" of these incidents involving ICE is by ICE. The same people who, minutes after these events, LIED to the nation and the world about what happened are claiming that they can perform an impartial investigation into their own actions that they lied about. This, by the way, is out of the ordinary. Normally external agencies such as the FBI and state investigators would be involved, but they have been cut off and have no access. Nonetheless, the state of Minnesota is gathering evidence and testimony from citizens, and members of Congress with oversight over ICE are calling for an independent and open investigation. There is no statute of limitations on murder, so I believe eventually (perhaps after Trump is out of office) a more trustworthy investigation can take place.

Kristi Noem has shown that we cannot believe anything she tells us. She claims that she was only doing as she was directed by Stephen Miller and Donald Trump, and in that, I believe her. Stephen Miller is the designer of Trump's immigration approach, as well as the push for the vast expansion of executive power and the removal of checks, balances, and transparency.

My further follow-up comment:

Here's an interview of one of the people who witnessed Alex Pretti's killing. She is an ordinary person from Minneapolis, not a paid agitator. I find it particularly insulting to my intelligence when people assert, without evidence, that someone they disagree with is a paid performer.

https://youtu.be/j3xwgrMiO7o?si=6Qu_o9hfuWPQ8Z1U

Facebook comments: On Deportations of LGBTQ+ asylum seekers, and the response of Evangelical Christians

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Fri, 6 Feb 2026 15:20:00 -0800

Original image (shared by a friend with a comment about personal history growing up in an evangelical environment, and a current bisexual identity)

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1355750756588756&set=a.348964100600765

Note: This post contains my comments only, without the context of the original post or comments by others I was responding to. I have removed the names of any mentions.

My comment in response to the original poster's response to someone else:

First of all, what the government is doing to these people is unjust and wrong. Especially after having taken them in as asylum seekers because of the threat on their life because of their LGBTQ+ identity, to reverse that and seek to send them back, washing our hands of the consequences, is a betrayal of our word as a nation and our hospitality. It's part of a larger pattern of mistreatment of immigrants and vulnerable people that this government, especially under Stephen Miller, has pursued.

We absolutely are right and in line with God’s love to seek to rescue our fellow human beings, and to welcome them into our society, even if we believe that their practices and identity are not in line with God’s calling for His people. A society which is built on the (very Christian) principle that our own religious beliefs should not be imposed on others who believe differently using the power of the state.

I don’t think it’s fair to be dismissive of [commenter]’s “rhetoric” regarding what the Bible says about how God views homosexuality and transgenderism.

To disagree with you about the moral standards that God has for people who claim His name is not the same as to agree with the betrayal of such people to their deaths. Similarly, refuting an inarticulately made argument you were given growing up does not mean that the position it was defending is incorrect. We all *do* have desires that would draw us away from what God has given for human flourishing. We all *do*, make choices about what we define as good and evil, and our choices shape our future desires: our desires grow where they are watered, though obviously we know that each of us has weeds in our garden that we do not intentionally water, but still persist.

You have concluded that “consensual adult relationships can look different ways and be OK in God’s eyes”, yet you accuse others of refusing to confront their cognitive dissonance. You say, “Love is love” as if it’s a tautology, but what you mean is [sexual expression and relationship, including expressions that the Bible says are abhorrent to God’s character] is [a fulfillment of God’s ideal for humanity]. I’m sure you’re familiar with the passages in Leviticus 18 and 20, where God tells the Israelites not to engage in homosexuality or gender-fluid cross-dressing (Deut 22) because such things are an “abomination to the LORD your God”.

These prohibitions are repeated in the New Testament in several places. In 1 Cor 6:9-20, to Christians who said “All things are lawful unto me”, Paul counters with: “All things are not helpful”, and “I will not be dominated by anything”. Christians who wanted to exercise sexual “freedom” with their bodies said, “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both”, but he counters, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” He points to the future resurrection of the body, our body’s membership in Christ’s body, and the indwelling Holy Spirit in our present bodies. “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

You’re my friend and I love you. I don’t want to see you deceived or trapped in sin.

A follow-up comment responding to a different person who responded to my comment:

It doesn’t sound to me like you take the Bible very seriously beyond repeating what others have said about it that you like, but I will go ahead and address your arguments anyway, in case someone who does care, but doesn’t know much about the Bible, sees your comments and takes them as accurate.

In the OT law, there are 3 categories of regulations: moral, ceremonial, and civil:

Moral laws are universal prohibitions on human behavior that is considered wrong in any context: murder, theft, false witness, rape, adultery, etc.
Ceremonial laws have to do with cleanliness/uncleanliness, worship, and cultural markers for Israelite society, e.g., sacrifices, dietary restrictions, circumcision, sabbath observance, etc.
Civil laws have to do with the particulars of how Israelite society should be governed, e.g., how trials are conducted, sanctuary cities, how to conduct a divorce, etc.

You assert that ALL of the Levitical law is in category 2, which is not the case. Wearing clothes that are all of one material, and adding tassels, etc. is ceremonial. Failing to do these things is never called an “abomination”, and it is never required/expected/judged of non-Israelites.

The prohibition on cross-dressing is not culture-specific. It does not say for Israelites that “women must wear X and men must wear Y.” Deuteronomy 22:5 says that men and women must not to dress in the garments of the opposite sex (whatever that entails), and it says that “whoever” does these things is an “abomination” to the LORD. Clearly what is meant is dressing with the intent to appear as a member of the opposite sex or as seeking attraction from the same sex. Israelites reading this would understand that even foreigners who did this were under God’s judgement, even those who did so in non-Israelite contexts with non-Israelite clothing customs.

Beyond the Old Testament arguments, though, the New Testament clearly re-iterates the prohibitions on cross-dressing and on homosexual intercourse of both male-male and female-female varieties. Someone further down on this thread mentioned a documentary that supposedly debunked one of the words translated ‘homosexual’ in modern English translations, but the argument given does not stand up to scrutiny. ἀρσενοκοίτης is a contraction of the phrase from the Septuagint of Leviticus 20:13 “ἄρσενος κοίτην”, meaning “with a man lie in bed” and is best understood in the context of that verse. Besides which, there are other Greek words and descriptions of homosexual sex in the New Testament, all of which are forbidden to Christians.

You say that Paul is against all sex, and I have heard others try to characterize him that way as well, but the evidence we have in his New Testament writings does not support that claim.

In 1 Corinthians 7 (the passage which immediately follows the one I summarize in my comment above), Paul is *responding* to a question from the Corinthians as to whether as they put it, “it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” (v1), and he instead recommends that each man have a wife and each woman have a husband (v 2), that husbands and wives *not* deprive each other of conjugal rights, except for limited times and by mutual consent (v3-5), and that it is up to unmarried widows whether or not they should be remarried.

He refrains from giving a rabbinical ruling applying to all about celibacy, but instead gives his personal recommendation that those who are able to live in celibacy are choosing something “good”, but it is, again, NOT a commandment from God that all should do so.

In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul uses the marriage of a husband and wife, as instituted by God in Genesis 2, as a typological picture of Christ with the Church.

Does that *really* sound like a man who is against all sex?

A safe and consensual discussion of abortion rights arguments I encountered online.

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Thu, 5 May 2022 10:47:00 -0700

In recent days (for some reason) I have seen an increased interest in moral arguments on social media about abortion policy in America. I have seen a couple of arguments repeated in many places both on Twitter and Facebook. I would like to respond to those arguments, but I also understand that some people just want to get something off their chest. It may be a deeply personal and emotional topic for them or a loved one, and they aren't necessarily interested in engaging in a serious philosophical debate with me on the merits of the argument.

That's fine. However, if you are interested in my thoughts on the topic, or want to share yours without unintentionally traumatizing a rape victim by jumping on their thread with your essay about why their feelings are wrong, you are welcome to share a link to this blog post in order to respectfully engage with these topics in the comments of your post among your social media contacts. I am disabling comments on the blog post itself.

Note: this was originally posted to Facebook. I want to keep that discussion between people who know me, but I also want a public version so that others can discuss in their own circles. This is the public version, but it is not the public forum.

Here are two screenshots that are either the literal arguments put forth, or are the basis of such arguments repeated elsewhere, along with my responses:

Regarding “If it was about babies”:

I agree that the political right in America is inconsistent in its values. It is important to keep in mind that political party platforms are not people: they are coalitions built on common goals and compromise (and often corrupted by monied interests), and do not represent a coherent set of values. Hypocrisy of an institution does not make every position that institution espouses morally worthless.

It may, and should, influence how you vote. If you are a party-line voter for either major party in America, and ignore the primaries, you are contributing to the problem.

I personally am in favor of more taxpayer funded access to free or low-cost health care (and help with those costs for those who need it), and safety net programs. I don't think the "everything is free" socialist utopia from the screenshot is the best balance here, but the idea that human societies at large are responsible to care for their most vulnerable members because they exist as human beings in their care (whether or not they are "desirable") is morally correct for EXACTLY the same reason that parents (and families at large) should provide for the needs of their own children.

Regarding “It doesn’t matter”:

The best numbers I could find say that less than 2% of abortions are because of rape. In the case of rape there is a logical pathway to applying the reasoning of "bodily autonomy", since the sex was not consensual.

In the other 98%, a couple willingly engaged in acts that placed sperm into a vagina, which (according to the laws of physics and biology) constitutes affirmative consent to the possible consequences.

So, over 98% of abortions are:

Oops, our birth control failed.
Oops, I wasn't thinking about the consequences of my actions and didn't use birth control measures.
I want a baby, but not this one; it's disabled.
I want a baby, but not this gender.
Etc.

The "bodily autonomy" argument claims that a MOTHER has no obligation to nurture her own child. This is legally and ethically false.

If I discover mid-drive that someone has crawled into my car and is taking a nap in the back seat, my moral and legal right to kick them out of my car to the side of the road is inversely proportional to how much they depend on me for survival. Usually that would be fine for an adult in a city, but if I abandoned someone in the middle of a remote desert area, or a blizzard, I might be charged with manslaughter or murder EVEN THOUGH they were trespassing in my car. If it were a child, I would probably need to contact the police or another authority (if I couldn't find a parent) and transfer them safely into their care. For an infant mistakenly placed down for a nap in the wrong car, I would need to do even more to ensure their safety while in my care, even though I did not consent to the role, and have NO RELATION to the child other than common humanity.

Our society rightly places responsibility on men who impregnate women to financially care for their offspring through child support, even if they did not want the child. The same is true for mothers: parents have an obligation to provide for and nurture their children, regardless of whether they meant to enter that relationship.

Again, in the case of rape, a bodily autonomy argument can be made, and most laws prohibiting abortion do carve out specific provision for cases of rape or incest (incest is usually rape or statutory rape) because of the possibility that mothers will see the pregnancy as a continuation of the violation of their bodies.

No right that you have is absolute. When the exercise of the rights of two people conflict, one of them must give way. I have a right to do what I want with my own property, but if what I claim as my own property is another human being? Suddenly I don't.

Human beings have a right to life. It is not absolute, but a prenatal human has a right to her own mother's womb. Is that right absolute? Also no. Some pregnancies are too dangerous for the mother and violate her right to life. But in general, attempting to construe normal human reproduction as a violation of the mother's rights is morally bankrupt.

The Narnia Nook and Eustace the Dragon

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 23:49:00 -0700

Not all of my artistic endeavors are video game related.

When we first toured the house we now live in, I noticed a space that seemed perfect for a through-the-wardrobe Narnia nook. At the time, it was only a few bricks knocked out of a wall, apparently in order to direct a refrigerator water line through the space behind it. It took me a while to widen the small opening in the brick wall into a child-sized door, then chisel off the excess mortar from the back side of the brick wall, and off of the floor where it had dripped and dried. I painted the whole space with layers of primer to fill in the uneven gaps, and then I started painting.

Here is my original rough concept, painted on a piece of cardboard that folds into four walls and a ceiling.

Lantern Waste, Caer Paravel, The Dawn Treader, and Aslan's Country

It's a tiny space, so it's a bit difficult to photograph, especially with a phone camera.

Very rough brick with lots of gaps

I used my phone's panorama to capture this in a tight space.

Rainbow above the Dawn Treader

The Dawn Treader

The Lion and the Lamb

I might go back and redo this castle; it's pretty basic

Peacock

Birds of Paradise

Another bird of paradise in Aslan's Country

And flying above the Dawn Treader, Eustace the Dragon, made out of clay with a wire skeleton

The lantern and sky

I used glow paint on the galaxy on the ceiling, and other elements such as the waves and snowy trees and hills. It's difficult to see in pictures, but the effect is pretty cool when you turn out the light.

A great place to sit and read a book

Clay Figures With Family

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 23:00:00 -0700

I took some clay over to my brother's house, and me and the kids (and my sister-in-law) made some clay figures, some Nintendo themed, some not.

Clay figures, ready to be fired

Abi's Poochy Pup

Shoshana's Ghost

Natasha's ...cat?

Eric's Mario

My Okami didn't turn out how I'd hoped

Becky's flower, butterfly, and ice skater

My Yoshi, also not up to par

Lucy got into the action later on with home made play dough

As did Shoshana

Abi sculpting

Shoshana's owl

Abi's Owl

Some sort of creature made of modeling clay by one of my daughters

The girls made a bunch of animals out of modeling clay

The creature from Fe

Figures made by Abi

Figures made by Shoshana

By Shoshana: Charmander, the salamander spirit from Frozen 2, and (on the left) also from Frozen 2: the nose of a troll, leaves representing wind, water, and the spark of the fire spirit.

Lucy from The Lego Moi

Clay amiibo Figures with Lessons Learned: Okami, Ittle Dew, Gris, Child of Light Aurora, Dixie Kong, Arlo v.2

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 22:44:00 -0700

Aurora from Child of Light. The first time I tried using wires for support.

Gris

Before I figured out how to use wire in my figures (and other useful tricks), I had a few, shall we say, learning experiences, where figures didn't turn out as well as I had hoped.

Ittle Dew, made without wires, with some compromises


Okami. This was my impetus to start using wires. The legs buckled during firing.

Dixie Kong, using wires

My second try at Arlo with Pikmin, using wires for support

Here's a video where I discuss the making of these figures, and experimenting with wire framing.

Poochy and Poochy Pups Clay amiibo Figure

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 22:04:00 -0700

The Yarn Yoshi amiibo figures are wonderful and cute, but if you have a mind to complete the set, good luck finding a Poochy amiibo for a decent price. They regularly go for over $100 on eBay.

Thankfully, I have another way of obtaining a Poochy amiibo: making it myself. I'm not a knitter, but I do work with clay.

Bwario and Bwaluigi Clay amiibo Figures - And More From My Kids

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 20:47:00 -0700

Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle is a lot of fun. Rather than making boring old Wario and Waluigi amiibo for my collection, I decided to make the Rabbids incarnation of these characters.

The visual style is perfect for clay at this scale, and I'm very pleased with how they turned out. I half expected Bwario's mustache to break or fall off, but (knock on wood) so far the worst that's happened despite a decent amount of handling to shuffle around my shelf is he's fallen off his base and I had to re-glue him back on (this time with super glue rather than hot glue).

I was home sick with my kids the day we did this, so they also made their own figures. We made a video to show them off:

Here are some shots of their figures:

Hollow Knight and Duck Hunt Clay amiibo Figures

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 20:25:00 -0700

My next clay amiibo project was a pair of figures. I was playing through Hollow Knight and really enjoying it, so I decided to make a figure of the titular hero. I also got an idea for a clever twist on Duck Hunt: Duck hunts YOU while the dog giggles.

I still wasn't using any wires inside of my figures, so firing things without having them fall apart in the oven was a challenge, especially if I wanted things to stick out like Hollow Knight's cape and sword. Here's how I fired them in the oven:

Once they had cooled and hardened, I used hot glue to put them together.

The duck and dog were similarly fired in pieces that could support themselves while being melted together in the oven.

I think they turned out awesome.

Shoshana also wanted to make a Duck and Dog figure, using a different pose.

Here's a video of my figures so far:

Custom Clay Pikmin amiibo with ArloStuff

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 20:04:00 -0700

One of my favorite Youtubers is ArloStuff. He's a furry blue monster who likes Nintendo. What's not to love?

Yesterday at PAX, I got to meet @ArloStuff, which made my day! #hurclehorcle pic.twitter.com/X1HAwaauW9
— burndive (@burndive) September 2, 2018

Like Arlo, I like Pikmin, and I wanted to get a Pikmin amiibo. But the Pikmin amiibo wasn't available at the store. I would have had to pay exorbitant prices on eBay, and the thing is, the amiibo itself isn't very interesting. I mean, surely they could have thought of something better for the Pikmin to be on than a broken cinder block.

Well, surely I could think of something better. And I did.

I think he liked it:

Oh this is GOOOOD https://t.co/4RAV3ly7Rl
— Arlo (@ArloStuff) October 22, 2019

Here's a video I made about it:

Mimiku Costumed Pikachu amiibo

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 19:27:00 -0700

Armed with glow-in-the-dark clay, and inspired by a costumed Pikachu in Pokemon Go, I decided to make my own Pikachu amiibo.

This was really fun to make. I basically made a Pikachu, and then dressed him using thinly rolled clay in the patchwork design of his Mimiku costume. The finer details were made with paint markers that I had originally bought to help decorate the pinewood derby cars.

Here's a video about the first four custom amiibo I made, highlighting the glow-in-the-dark bits at the end:

Yooka-Laylee clay amiibo Figure

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 19:13:00 -0700

In hopes that they might someday make their way to Super Smash Bros Ultimate, and because I was having a lot of fun playing Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair, I created this Yooka-Laylee clay figure, and put an amiibo NFC sticker in the base.

I still wasn't using wire, but Yooka's body is so thin that it stood on its own with the tail for balance. I hot glued on the head and Laylee (fired separately) and then hot glued them to the base.

This one has been dropped a couple of times and needed repair, but I have been surprised by how well it has held together all things considered.

Luigi and Ploterpup amiibo Figure

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 19:06:00 -0700

After Marin, and with plenty of left-over NFC stickers, I saw a cool-looking (and very expensive) figure for Luigi's Mansion 3. I decided to use that as my model to create my own Luigi amiibo, since I didn't have one of him. I even got some glow-in-the-dark clay, which turned out perfect for Luigi's ghost dog Polterpup.

At this time I hadn't started using wire frames inside of my clay figures, so Luigi's head (and lots of other things) have fallen off of him and been glued back on a few times.

You'll also notice that his nose is flat, and this is because I fired him all at once laying flat on his face. The base and Polterpup were fired separately, and I hot glued them onto the base, along with an NFC sticker in a coin case concealed within the base. Again, hot glue turns out not to be a good solution for polymer clay in the long run, but I didn't know that at the time.

Of course, my kids wanted to play too, especially with the glow-in-the-dark clay.

Shoshana's ghost and Abi's Polterpup

Abi made an eyeball, a jack-o-lantern and a ghost

Link's Awakening Wind Fish and BOTW Pinewood Derby Cars and Marin amiibo

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 18:36:00 -0700

This is where it all started. I participated along with my kids in a pinewood derby for our church's AWANA program, and I made my car into the Wind Fish. On top, I made a little Link and Marin.

I made a Pinewood Derby car for AWANA today:
The Wind Fish from #LinksAwakening with clay Link, Marin, and Owl.

My kids also made cars with clay additions but the aren't quite finished yet. pic.twitter.com/B2I7oGk7AF
— burndive (@burndive) October 13, 2019

I used colored polymer clay to make it, and I had a fun time doing it. It got a little bit damaged during the actual races, but I put it back together with hot glue. I've since learned that super glue works much better with polymer clay over the long term (and isn't goopy like hot glue), but creating these mini figures inspired me to make a whole series of custom clay video game figures, complete with amiibo NFC tags.

The previous year (or maybe it was two years previous?), I had made a similar pinewood derby car themed after Breath of the Wild with Link fighting a Lynel, along with a shrine entrance and a Korok.

I had recently attended PAX West, where Nintendo had set up a beautiful Link's Awakening diorama with Link (looking just like his amiibo) and Marin. I thought to myself it was a shame that they didn't make a Marin amiibo to go with Link.

Having just made little mini Link and Marin for my derby car, I decided to make a bigger version of Marin. I wanted Marin to be an amiibo, and I had recently gotten som Super Mario Amiibo cereal. I decided to cut out the cardboard box around the amiibo tag and then register the amiibo on my Nintendo Switch with Marin's name. Later on, I would get some NFC stickers and make her into a Toon Zelda amiibo.

This was the first of many such figures I would make.

Marin from Nintendo's PAX diorama

My kids made their own derby cars, and when they saw me making things (especially Zelda things) with clay, they wanted to make something too.

Abi's Marin and Shoshana's Link

Abi made a penguin and a house, too

I had forgotten, but I posted a video on YouTube about this:

Listening: On "Defund the Police"...

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Mon, 8 Jun 2020 11:46:00 -0700

Admit it, no matter what your political inclination, the first time you heard this slogan, it sounds like advocating for anarchy. It's definitely inflammatory. So, why are people saying this? Is this just crazed protestors who hate the police and want to create an every-man-for-himself society?
I decided to actually listen to my more liberal friends and also seek out other informed sources of information, and here's what I understand is actually being said:

What if, when you dialed 911, it was always a police officer who responded? If there was a fire, the police would have to be equipped and trained to put out the fire. If there was a medical emergency, the police would have to keep you alive and get you to the hospital. And of course, if there was a crime in progress or evidence to collect and analyze, the police would also have to be prepared for that.

What you have is a lot of police, who have to be trained, equipped, and skilled at addressing an enormous variety of emergency situations, and of course, when the police show up, the stakes are high. So, one obvious way to help the situation is to specialize: you create a fire department, using some of the budget that was previously allocated for police response to emergencies. The fire department can be uniquely equipped and trained to deal with fires. Their trucks carry hoses and ladders. What's more: firemen don't carry guns and handcuffs: no one is afraid that a fireman is going to arrest you, and firemen don't have to worry about people responding in fear or violently to their presence, thinking they might be arrested or worse. If the firemen encounter a situation that calls for police, then they can call the police, but in general, it's more efficient for police to deal with crime, and firemen to deal with fires.

Extend that logic to medical situations, and you get EMTs and paramedics with ambulances.

And that's where we are today. But is that enough? Is that even what we had in the past? What situations are police responding to that could be better (and more cost effectively) handled by another specialty under most circumstances? What about adding social workers, who are uniquely trained, equipped, and empowered to deal with situations such as domestic violence, mental illness, and drug addiction? That seems like an obvious step. What institutions can we invest in, other than courts and jails, that can effectively prevent, reduce, and address crime and other social issues?
This is what is meant by the phrase "defund the police". Could they have picked a less sensational slogan? Maybe, but now they have your attention, and they didn't have your attention before with the other slogans and messaging on this topic.

Another aspect of this issue is "bad apples". It's common for people who are defending the status quo of police accountability (and lack thereof) in our society to say, "there are a few bad apples, but there is no systemic problem". Remember when there were "a few bad apples" in the Catholic Church? Just a few child molesters, that's all. What was the Catholic Church doing when it became aware of child abuse? It was covering up their crimes, paying off their victims in exchange for silence, and moving the "bad apples" around to different locations, where no one suspected their pattern of behavior. The bad apples were spoiling the whole barrel, and it was rotten. It needed to be reformed. Guess what's happening with police? The exact same thing. They are protected by their colleagues and supervisors and unions. They call them "gypsy cops". When someone tries to hold them accountable, they quit or get fired and are hired by another precinct without scrutiny.

If there was a systemic problem with sexual molestation in the Catholic church, then there is a systemic problem with abuse of power, and especially abuse of power towards blacks, in the police force.

There are more dimensions to this, such as the militarization of police departments that is on display in cities around the country right now, deployed with riot gear and armored vehicles against protestors. They form up a skirmish line, lob tear gas, and shoot pepper spray, rubber bullets and flash bangs into the crowd. Is that really the most effective way to prevent riots and vandalism? I think we can do better.

What Facebook Is For

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 17:51:00 -0800

Editorial note:

Remember blogs? I still have a blog, though it's been a bit neglected.

I originally wrote this post several months ago, but at the time I decided not to post it. The particular events that prompted its composition were still a fresh wound, and I did not wish to offend anyone by appearing to single them out for poor behavior. I recently re-discovered this post as a draft on my blog, and decided to post it now (after some polishing). It's still just as relevant, and has lost the edge it would have had at the time of original writing.

Dear friends and family,

The purpose of Facebook is to stay in touch with the personal lives of your friends and family. (Astounding, I know.) In general, Facebook is not for posting anything that is not your own creation or your personal analysis of someone else's creation that is personally meaningful to you. It is never helpful to post or amplify divisive content.

If you have something to say about a divisive political issue, say it in your own words or not at all. Don't simply re-post someone else's hot take.

Putting it in your own words will help you to remember that you are responsible for how what you share affects those who will see it. It also makes it a part of your story; your perspective, and others will feel more comfortable engaging constructively with you about your perspective on the issue, even if they have a different perspective.

Examples of divisive content:

It presents an issue without nuance, or lumps unrelated issues together.
It characterizes an entire class of people for ridicule.
It portrays a fringe opposing viewpoint as the mainstream for the opposition.
It seems too "good" to be true.

The News
It is acceptable to occasionally share news articles from reputable journalistic sources on Facebook, as long as you take the time to introduce the article to your friends and family, showing why the content is personally important to you. Posting links to articles without personal context turns Facebook into a slanted, unreliable news source.

Facebook is inherently an unreliable source of news. At best, it is an echo chamber for views like your own. Even if you have a diverse set of friends, Facebook's algorithm is always trying to find content that it expects you will engage with positively. If you want to be informed about the news, you should seek out a diverse collection of publications that demonstrate journalistic integrity. You might have to pay to subscribe to some of them, but it might also be worth it.

It is occasionally acceptable to use Facebook to keep your friends and family up-to-date on a breaking relevant local issue that is not being widely covered. As an example of this, my sister recently posted a series of news updates about a teacher's strike that she participated in. The news articles, accompanied by her own personal pictures and stories, allowed us to be informed as to what was happening day-to-day, and what her personal experiences were like, since our own local and national publications did not cover the story in as much detail.

Foreign and domestic influence campaigns
There are of course many "Pages" on Facebook that churn out divisive content. Many of these pages are fronts for foreign interference in elections. The 2016 U.S. elections are a famous example of this, but Russia in particular has been behind online astroturf campaigns in dozens of countries over several years, with the strategy of both generating content under false identities (and fake news), and of influencing real people into espousing the polarizing positions and rhetoric generated by their content farms. Typically they pick an issue and then post content on the extreme end of both sides of the issue's spectrum (differently slanted content on different pages, obviously), sewing distrust and driving people away from one another. In addition to foreign influence, there are also domestic organizations whose goal is to polarize our politics (including some financed directly by domestic political campaigns). If you don't know who runs the page behind the content, don't re-share it. Polarizing pages will often intersperse reasonable or funny memes among their extreme content, and you could unwittingly boost their profile by sharing seemingly innocuous memes.

Polarizing content degrades public discourse, and must be opposed, regardless of whose side of what political spectrum it takes.

If you think you're "winning" by ridicule, you are in fact losing.

Before you post something to Facebook, ask yourself:

Did I write an introduction explaining how this is personally important to me? Will this deepen my relationship with my friends and family?
Is this true? Is it from a respected source? Is it written in a slanted way? Is there a higher quality article on this topic elsewhere that I could post instead? (Please search to find out.)
Does this respect others, especially those who honestly disagree with me on this topic? Will it generate meaningful discussion, or alienation?

Men's Campout Talk: The Privilege of Suffering with Christ for a While

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Mon, 17 Apr 2017 23:10:00 -0700

This is a talk I gave at a Men's Campout a couple of years ago. I always meant to post it, but until recently I hadn't taken the trouble to clip and convert the audio file in audacity.

Better late than never.

I'm a Glutton for Punishment with Jawbone UP

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 18 May 2016 21:41:00 -0700

My new Jawbone UP3 activity & sleep tracker

This is my third purchase iteration of Jawbone activity tracker. I started in June 2013 with the UP band (2nd gen), which had to be manually synced each night using the phone's headphone jack. I think that unit was replaced 3 times within the 1 year warranty period, the last of which was in June 2014, and lasted until March of 2015.

After that, I bought an UP24, which added Bluetooth syncing. After my second unit broke, they offered an 'upgrade' replacement to an UP2 (I think they're phasing out the bendable models in favor of clasps). The clasp band on my second UP2 broke off last week, so I looked at the available options from multiple manufacturers.

Ultimately, though, the UP3 has the best sleep tracking of any tracker in its price range. For me at the moment, the UP3 has the best mix of features. I don't need a watch replacement, and I value detailed sleep tracking. However, I didn't want my purchase value to evaporate shortly after the one year warranty expired. I really like the product, but I'm under no illusions as to its durability.

Fortunately, Sam's Club offers a 3 year no-deductible SquareTrade warranty for an extra $10. I'm not a member, so there was an extra charge, and shipping and tax, so all told I paid $115 for three years of covered ownership.

I'd really like to see this thing last that long, but I'm prepared for it not to.

Sermon: The Glory of God in Christ Jesus, Displayed in His Church

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 7 Oct 2015 20:25:00 -0700

I gave my first official sermon at Trinity Baptist Church this last Sunday. I went over 1 Corinthians 10:31 - 11:16. It can be a difficult passage to understand, but it's one that I've thought about a lot over the years.

Here is a link to the audio file.
Here is a link to the PowerPoint slides that I used.

It's also on the TBC podcast, which you can get by adding this URL to your podcast player: http://www.tbcrenton.org/tbcpodcast.php

Joseph Story, Illustrated

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:03:00 -0800

In our church small group, I was volunteered to lead the story and discussion last Sunday. The leader's notes I received instructed me to engage all five senses and be creative. They also told me to learn a summary of the life of Joseph from Genesis, and tell the story to the group. The summary I was to recite was 3 typed pages long.

I decided that the best way for me to learn the story would be to draw each sentence or paragraph. It started more as a doodle memory aid, but it quickly turned into the single page of pictures you can see below:

I was able to re-tell the entire detailed story to the group using just the drawings (no practice, even). In order to engage all five of their senses, the girls helped me to cut, bake, and decorate cookies in the shapes of objects related to the story (sheaves of wheat, cows, Jacob with his staff, Joseph with his many-colored coat, sun, moon, and stars, etc.), and I brought some to share with the group.

I provided copies of my illustrations to the group, and they were able to repeat the story back to me from the drawings as well. Here is a PDF version that I scanned and printed for the group.

Remembering Judah Daniel Zwicker, Our Son

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Wed, 21 May 2014 22:38:00 -0700

Judah's memorial service was held on Saturday, May 17th, 2014. I know that many were prevented from being there with us due to geography, prior commitments, and other limitations. I have collected in this post some of the material that was shared at that service, as well as some additional tributes from friends and family.

I want Judah to be remembered, and I also want what we say here to be a help to others in similar situations as they come across this post.

"It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart." - Ecclesiastes 7:2

From Mom:

Judah Daniel was joyfully expected around May 20th. Shoshana and Abigail frequently asked to "feel baby Judah" and collapsed into fits of giggles any time they successfully felt him move. He was an active boy who always quieted down whenever Grandma Harris came near. His personality was not as exuberant as Shoshana's but his movements were more forceful than Abigail's. I expected him to be a strong boy to be doted on and bossed around by his big sisters. Another difficult pregnancy, I was eager for another early delivery. Sure enough, my body began giving me signs that it was almost ready for labor at 37 weeks gestation. Two days of false labor led up to a routine appointment. Alone, expecting to meet my boy in the next day or two, the midwife could not find his heartbeat with the doppler. That was the first time in all my pregnancies but I refused to jump to conclusions. An ultrasound was eerily still and I held my breath until the doctor quietly said "I cannot visualize any heart movements."

Judah was induced and born at 5:01, May 4th, surrounded by family and friends. He was 6 lbs. 14 oz. beautiful, and perfect. He looked so much like his sisters and had Tim's feet but my toes. We took many photos, foot prints, and even foot impressions. I ask every day that Jesus would give him a hug and kiss for me and to tell him how much I love and miss him.

From Dad:

Names have always been important to me. At the age of five, I decided that I would no longer go by Timmy, and declared to my family that I wanted to be called Tim from then on. Of course, whenever I was in trouble it was always “Timothy Daniel Zwicker!” [I love you, Mom & Dad.]

I like names that carry meaning. Growing up and growing in the Lord, I have always taken the stories found in the book of Daniel with extra weight, as if they were intended for me in a special way, for me to display the integrity and bravery demonstrated by Daniel and his friends, and to intercede in prayer for my family like Daniel interceded for the Jewish people.

In the same way, I have always taken Paul’s letters to Timothy personally, as if they were written specially to me in addition to my first-century namesake.

So when it came time for Elizabeth and me to choose a name for our son, I wanted to give him a name that could provide an identity rooted in the Lord, and serve as a moral anchor in his life.

Ever since we were pregnant with Shoshana, our first child, Elizabeth had picked the name Judah as a favorite if the child were a boy, and we have always wanted a boy. Elizabeth has gone through some rough times during her pregnancies, and she wanted a name that expressed our anticipation of the joy of our child’s future, in some ways in contrast to the feelings in the present.

Judah means ‘Praise’. In the book of Genesis, Jacob meets Rachel and they fall in love. He agrees with her father Laben to work seven years for her hand in marriage, but on their wedding night, Laben substitutes his older daughter Leah in Rachel’s place. After a rather awkward morning conversation, Jacob agrees to work an additional seven years for Laben in order to marry Rachel as well.

So here’s Leah, the unloved wife, and I’ll read how she names her first three children (Genesis 29:31-34):

Now the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, and He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.Leah conceived and bore a son and named him Reuben, for she said, “Because the Lord has seen my affliction; surely now my husband will love me.”
Then she conceived again and bore a son and said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also.” So she named him Simeon.
She conceived again and bore a son and said, “Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore he was named Levi.

Leah’s first three sons are named out of her desperate desire to be loved by her husband. But something must have changed in her with her fourth son, that she stopped focusing on her unfulfilled desires, and instead chose to be thankful for the blessings that God had granted to her. (Genesis 29:35)

And she conceived again and bore a son and said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing.

Judah means praise, and so she chose to praise the Lord for his goodness despite her unchanged, unhappy circumstance.

Part of Judah’s middle name is also in this passage a few verses down (Genesis 30:1-6):

So she [Rachel] gave him her maid Bilhah as a wife, and Jacob went in to her. Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son.
Then Rachel said, “God has vindicated me, and has indeed heard my voice and has given me a son.” Therefore she named him Dan.

In this passage, ‘Dan’ means vindication, and the name Daniel takes the word ‘El’, meaning ‘God’, and combines them into ‘Dani-El’, which means “God is my Judge”, or “God Vindicates Me”. To me that is a vital perspective in this present circumstance. God vindicates our Baby Judah. From a human perspective it would be easy to look at Judah’s short life with us as a waste, but it is God who judges the worth of every human life. It is his to assign to us the days of our lives. Judah was given to Elizabeth and to our family, for a short time. While he was with us, we loved him. We welcomed him into our family and thanked God for him. Now he is gone back into the arms of our heavenly Father, and he is no less loved, and we are no less thankful for His gift.

There are some events in the life of Judah’s namesake that I wanted Judah to learn from. Judah was not always a nice guy. He sold his brother Joseph as a slave into Egypt, and he made some poor choices as a husband and father. But at some point, Judah finally grew up and became a man. Judah had failed in his obligations to his daughter-in-law Tamar. When she realized this, Tamar tricked Judah into getting what she wanted anyway. You can read about the details, but Judah had a choice: He could have pretend to be in the right, and have Tamar killed. Instead, he admitted he was wrong and said “She is more righteous than I am.”

I wanted Judah to learn from this imperfect situation how a man of God responds. Judah created this situation with his own sins, but it was not too late—it is never too late while we live—to begin to do what is right, and accept the responsibility for our actions. That is what a man does.

Later on, Joseph unbeknownst to his brothers had become the ruler of Egypt. When they came to him he insisted that Judah and his brothers return with their youngest brother Benjamin. It was Judah who put his own life as surety for his brother to their father. When they returned to Egypt and Benjamin was caught with stolen property, it was Judah’s insistence that he be imprisoned in the place of Benjamin that convinced Joseph that his brothers had repented from the way that they had treated him when they sold him as a slave out of envy.

A real man takes responsibility on himself for the well-being of others around him. I wanted my son Judah to know that, and to carry it with him in his name.

Finally, Judah’s last name is Zwicker. That makes him a part of our family. In 1752, Peter Zwicker sailed from Germany to the new world, and settled his family near Bridgewater, Nova Scotia. In 1964 Edson Zwicker took his family from Bridgewater to Whittier, California, including his son David Zwicker. David grew up and married a Dutch girl named Geri, and they had five children whom they brought up in the Word of God. Timothy Zwicker, their son, moved from California to Washington after college, and met a pretty, swing-dancing nursing student named Elizabeth. Elizabeth and I have three children: Shoshana is almost five years old, Abigail is two and a half, and Judah Daniel Zwicker was born into heaven on May 4, 2014.

We love him, and we miss him very much.

From Grandma Harris:

Oh God,
Oh God,
Oh God. Today we celebrate little baby Judah. May I count the ways you have blessed me?

For 20 minutes, as I held your 7 pound beautiful body with your head toward my knees - so I could just ponder your precious life that existed just a few short days ago in your mama's womb - I could see into heaven. Judah, you gave me that view. I will never be able to thank you on this earth but I can testify to that tangible gift given to me.

You have transformed my vision from THIS VEIL OF TEARS to my real home in heaven. What a glory it will be to join you there some day.

You have planted me even more firmly next to my Savior to walk hand in hand with Him for the remainder of my tasks on earth.

You have helped me lift my eyes to heaven where my true strength comes from. To know that the view of reality belongs there and not on this earth. My life is so short, like a blossom that springs forth and then withers, I purpose to step with Jesus however He has called me to be and do.

My tasks seem lighter and my days are more full to experience everything God has for me just because I held you.

Little, precious Judah, your mama and daddy and sisters love you so much and cherish all the little giggles and movements you shared with them. You are a permanent part of our family and will forever have a place in our hearts.

Heaven is brighter because you lived.

From Auntie Anna:

Our nephew's memorial service was so beautiful today. Cried through the slide show sitting between my triplet brothers. David passed the Kleenex and Josh put his arm around me. Heard the story of his name, Judah Daniel Zwicker, from my brave brother Tim. Judah, a man who faced his mistakes and took responsibility for them; Daniel, a man whose integrity and intercession for his people made Him beloved by God; and finally Zwicker, a permanent member of our family we will love and miss. He will not return to us but we will go to him in Heaven. We bless God both in the sunshine and in the dark, and we do it together. Story of our life as a family. We pray our response to God brings Him glory. Now relaxing with the other nieces and nephews at my sister Sarah's house. Thankful and comforted in being together.

"When many of his disciples heard it, they said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it? ...So Jesus said to the Twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?" Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." -John 6:60, 67-68

"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." -1 Thessalonians 5:23-34

"For I know that my Redeemer lives,
and at the last he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been thus destroyed,
yet in my flesh I shall see God,
whom I shall see for myself,
and my eyes shall behold, and not another."
- Job 19:25-27a

In Hope

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Thu, 1 Aug 2013 22:53:00 -0700

A recent exchange on Facebook:

Friend 1: "But what is Saturn for?" -[her daughter]
Friend 2: To scream His glory... perhaps among other things?

Sometimes I miss being involved in the kind of church/culture/family I grew up in. This kind of conversation, and a community mindset that every conversation is also a theological conversation is something I don't have right now, and something that I dearly miss.

Today, I buried our goat Rosemary, who was the matriarch of the herd, and a very sweet, productive, and steady animal. I'm not sure how old she was, since we got her from a family that Liz grew up with (who had taught her how to keep dairy goats). Our herd became infected with coccidiosis, a particularly nasty gut parasite for goats and other cud-chewing animals. It started with two of the kids, and spread. Once we figured out what it was, we treated them for it, and did our best to keep them eating, hydrated, electrolyted*, and free of other parasites, but thus far it has reduced our herd from eight to four.

Rosemary

Digging a hole deep enough to bury a medium sized animal is a good time to think. As I dug Rosemary's grave, I was pondering the question:

Lord, what is Rosemary's death for?

My mind thought of many things, but all of them ended up being a form of that same answer. Of course in the end, everything is for God's glory, but perhaps this situation makes it a bit easier to see, since from an earthly "under the sun" perspective, it seems so senseless. Rosemary's death did about as much direct good as Saturn had an effect on your daily commute. Since the earthly purpose is unsatisfactory, we are more willing to look for divine purpose.

So, why do animals die? In particular, why do the animals that serve us, that we love, have to die?

While I was digging, I was thinking about a passage of scripture in Romans 8:

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. - Romans 8:18-25

When we lose something that we love, we suffer, but the suffering that we endure in this life (and also all of the suffering of all of the creatures) is worth going through in order to achieve the final result that God has in mind. Hence the analogy to childbirth. This applies to our little situation, but it also applies on the grand scale.

When God created the world, including the animals, according to this passage, He made it subject to entropy. Animals die. Plants die. Stars explode or burn out. Left to its laws as we understand them, the universe will either collapse back in on itself, or (more likely) expand itself into a frozen waste.

And at every stage in its creation, God called it good.

Why would He do that? According to this passage, the current order of the universe was chosen, not because it was a perfect idyllic place for Adam and his sinless intended progeny to live, but specifically because it was a broken order and needed to be fixed. Mankind, too, was created as corruptible (though our corruption was our own doing). God's audacious plan has a purpose for that, though. He intends, through corrupted humanity, to flip the whole of creation from a corrupted state into one that cannot possibly be corrupted ever again:

Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord. - 1 Corinthians 15:51-58 (Emphasis mine.)

From the passage in Romans, the whole creation is waiting, in its entropic spiral, for the true consummation of our adoption as sons and daughters of God. When that happens, the whole creation will become subject to a new order. Where the old order steadily breaks down, the new order is ever-expanding and bursting at the seams with life. Where the old order would lead one to despair, the new order inspires hopeful expectation.

The little pain of Rosemary's death makes me long for the day when God has designed to redeem the entire creation through those whom He has adopted as His children (including me!)

Both of these passages focus our attention on Christ, by whose sinless death we are cleansed from our sin and declared worthy to be God's children, and by whose resurrected life we will, with Him, bring glory and incorruptibility to this universe, just as it has been brought to us! Both passages encourage us, in view of Christ's certain victory, to not be discouraged by the death, destruction, and futility we see now, but to take actions that are consistent with the expectation that the old order and its trappings will be swept away when Christ is revealed for who He is.

It brings to mind this hymn, which is one of my favorite hymns from growing up:

In hope we lift our wishful, longing eyes,
Waiting to see the Morning Star arise;
How bright, how gladsome will His advent be,
Before the Sun shines forth in majesty.

How will our eyes to see His face delight,
Whose love has cheered us through the darksome night!
How will our ears drink in His well-known voice,
Whose faintest whispers make our souls rejoice!

No stain within; no foes or snares around;
No jarring notes shall there discordant sound;
All pure without, all pure within the breast;
No thorns to wound, no toil to mar our rest.

If here on earth the thoughts of Jesus' love
Lift our poor hearts this weary world above;
If even here the taste of heavenly springs
So cheers the spirit, that the pilgrim sings;

What will the sunshine of His glory prove?
What the unmingled fullness of His love?
What hallelujahs will His presence raise?
What but one loud, eternal burst of praise?

++computerHackingSkills

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Sat, 26 Jan 2013 18:53:00 -0800

There's never a perfect time for anything. A couple of weeks ago, I was presented with an opportunity to brush up on my software engineering skills. My company was offering a series of courses online through a university that would result in a C++ certification. I have been thinking about doing something like this for some time. The position I am currently in provides me with a little bit of programming practice (mostly in the form of scripting), but almost nothing in terms of actual software design and engineering. I would like very much to change this, but I feel the effects of skill rot. Without recent practice, I would not feel very confident representing myself to a hiring manager.

I took a look at the course descriptions. The first of four courses would be a cake walk, the second one looked interesting, and the third and fourth looked very intriguing. I have been wanting to get more experience working with the design patterns since college. The earlier courses feature using the STL and Boost libraries, which I would like to be more proficient at.

So, I requested the challenge exam in order to skip the first course. There would be no sense in lulling myself into a false sense of an easy course, only to be shocked by the work load later on as I encountered truly new material. That, and I don't want to spend my precious time learning something I already know. I have a wife and kids who deserve better.

The challenge test was a three-part assignment that appeared to have been the final exam for the previous year. I was given a week to complete the assignment, which was about how long it took me (I finished testing it early the evening before it was due), working on it during the evenings after work, and most of Saturday.

I don't want to commit myself to something that will take more time than I have, especially with Elizabeth working, and she, Shoshana, and Abigail needing me to spend time with them, but as I said before, there is not going to be a perfect time to make this move. The intensity of Shoshana's treatment will decrease in the coming months, and I am working on the paperwork to officially hire Kristen as a nanny.

Even after just taking the test, I am much more confident in my skills and ability to perform, both in general as a programmer, and specifically using C++. There were several things I had to look up online, but I knew what to look for. I haven't gotten the results back, but I would be surprised if I did not pass.

Of course, if things get too crazy, I may need to drop the course or stop early, but even in that case, it will not be a vain effort.

Shoshana: New Blog

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 20:15:00 -0700

And no, I don't mean "new blog post", as some do when they say "new blog". There's a whole new blog, with its own posts (or at least, future posts), in store for you.

I decided to break out my regular posts about Shoshana's Leukemia into its own blog, so that it would not be interrupted by the other things that normally occupy this blog, assuming a degree of normalcy returns, or some new definition of normal, in which her care does not consume such a majority of my time, energy, and thought.

I may occasionally still post on this blog about Shoshana and her care, and I may occasionally link from here to there, or there to here. My intent is not to draw a barrier between aspects of my life, but to make them more comprehensible and digestible to those who care to read about them.

I would also like Elizabeth (and perhaps some others) to contribute posts to the Shoshana: Leukemia blog.

Without further ado, here is the link: Shoshana: Leukemia

As you read, please be praying for us, and especially for her healing.

Shoshana: Intensive Care

noreply@blogger.com (burndive) — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:57:00 -0700

The last few weeks have been a roller-coaster. Shoshana was in the ICU when I last posted. She has stayed there most of the intervening time, and is there currently.

Shoshana and Daddy

This is due to her respiratory condition. One of the chemo drugs she was on--vincristine--caused vocal cord nerve damage, resulting in lots of throat pain and also vocal cord paralysis, to the point of preventing her from adequately breathing on her own--especially while asleep. This morning I learned that Shoshana is the 6th girl on record who has had this kind of reaction to vincristine, and vincristine is an old drug. Usually this kind of symptom clears up in a matter of weeks. With Shoshana, it might take months. I hope it's just months.

Mommy and Abigail with Shoshana

Abigail in the playroom on the cancer floor

Shoshana started her second phase of chemotherapy, 'consolidation', two weeks ago. Thus far, only observable side effect of the new drugs has been nausea in the past couple of days. Vincristine was scheduled for her as part of consolidation, but they will not administer it unless and until her current symptoms from it are resolved.

The doctors kept expecting Shoshana to recover quickly. She was doing pretty well, only on the BiPAP while sleeping at night or napping during the day--and not on the nasal cannula at all during her breaks. They transferred her from the ICU to the cancer floor at the beginning of this week, hopeful that she could be discharged on Thursday (today).

Shoshana and Grandma playing with Play-Doh

To determine if she was ready to be at home, they stressed her system by having her sleep without the BiPAP for as long as possible one night (she made it until 5:00 AM, and then proceeded to sleep on the BiPAP for 11 more hours), and then the next night, they did a sleep study where they monitored her in half a dozen different ways while she slept. She slept for three hours like that, at which point she was doing so poorly that they put her back on the BiPAP. At 7:00 AM she spiked a fever, and was transferred to the ICU, where again she slept until 4:00 PM. She was on the BiPAP pretty much constantly for the next day.

Wednesday morning, Elizabeth's mom Kristen called me and said she couldn't fill in for Elizabeth while she went to work for a few hours because she was sick (staying in the hospital with a kid on chemo with no immune system while you are sick is a no-no). I called in to work, and came up to be with Shoshana. When I arrived, Elizabeth told me that she, too, was feeling sick. A few hours later, she called and told me that she had a fever. She went to bed and basically slept all day, so I've been here at the hospital, and anticipate staying here until at least Sunday night.

Visitors

Shoshana seems to be doing pretty well, considering recent events. She is on the BiPAP only to sleep. However, the doctors seem to be coming to terms with the fact that Shoshana's vocal cord damage is not going to clear up any time soon. They would like to give her a tracheotomy, which would provide immediate and sustainable relief from her difficulty in breathing, and would not cause long-term damage. (They had before suggested the possibility of removing part of her vocal cords, which would have permanent effects on her voice.) They are confident that she will heal quickly, and that the risk of infection will be manageable, even while on chemotherapy. They would wait to perform the operation until her blood counts go back up (they are currently at a low due to where she is in this phase of her chemo).

Painting

She was slated to return to the cancer floor today, but there isn't room ready for her at the moment, so we will spend one more night in the ICU.

These past few weeks have also been rough on my family. Abigail has been sick with an ear infection this past week, and thus not able to visit her sister, or be visited by her mommy, daddy or grandma. Our dear friends Ian and Amanda have been taking care of her.

Elizabeth and I have had some pretty heated arguments, misunderstandings, distrust, and hurt feelings (as well as some burnout). We are on the mend, and it has resulted in some changes for the better, but needless to say it has been very difficult on both of us, and trust and hurt feelings will take time and consistency to rebuild.

Last Thursday was Elizabeth's birthday. We had been planning to go out to eat, but Elizabeth suggested that we also go swing dancing. We did, and we both had a good time. I definitely need to be getting more exercise (Elizabeth, on the other hand, had better stamina than she was expecting, thanks in part no doubt to joining a rec volleyball league). I also threw together a surprise party with some of our friends on Sunday, although in order to get her to actually leave the hospital, I had to spoil the surprise. I tried and tried other angles, but she didn't see any compelling reason to leave Shoshana's side.

Tickles

Please pray:

That Shoshana would recover quickly from the damage to her vocal cords. That she would respond well to treatment, and live a full life to the glory of God.
That each member of our family will be healthy and strong: Shoshana, Elizabeth, me, Kristen.
For me, that I would be given strength and endurance to do all that I need to do. It has been difficult to be away from work so much lately. I have become less dependable, and understandably have not been given many critical assignments as a result. It can be difficult to stay motivated when you feel like what you've been given to do is not very important.
That Elizabeth and I, that we would be able to love each other and communicate and work together in love without misunderstanding or falling into unhealthy patterns of thinking. That this difficult time would drive us closer together, and not be an occasion for destructive friction.
For Shoshana and Abigail, who miss each other and their parents very much.

Sharing berries

Add-a-cat app

Blowing bubbles: fun and theraputic

Also fun and theraptutic

Proud artist