Advisor Products Inc.

Choices

Bruce Schneider — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 10:59:00 -0500

Many of us walk around feeling like we have limited choices in many aspects of our lives. Take notice of how many times a day you say the words have to, should, and need to. Whenever you feel like you must do something, you’re a victim to your thoughts or circumstances.

In fact, when you’re faced with a task or something to do, there are five basic ways you can respond, and of them, only one is by full conscious choice.

The five ways of responding are “I won’t,” “I have to,” “I need to,” “I want to,” or “I choose to.”

When you say “I won’t” do something, you’re saying that you have no power, that life happens to you no matter what you do or believe. You don’t believe that you have a choice. You also don’t really think there’s anything in it for you – so why do it?

If you say “I have to,” you’re looking at the short term perspective. You “have to” complete the task in front of you, or else you will experience dire consequences. You feel forced to do it, and that you have very little to no choice.

The third response, “I need to,” is a more powerful place to come from. Here, you’re aware of your choices and you seek to find the opportunity in the challenges presented to you. This perspective brings more chance of success, but you still don’t feel like you’re fully at choice.

So these three responses involve either non-action, or action by force. Since you are not energetically bought into a situation, goal, or project, you are creating a recipe for failure. Even though you may think you are choosing to do something, at your core, you chose not to do it, or not to do it well.

The next response, “I want to,” indicates that you are mostly at choice. But, “want” still comes from a place of lack.

The most powerful response is “I choose to.” When you respond this way, you feel you have complete choice. There’s a powerful connection between who you are and what you do.

So how do you get to choose to? Simply come from a place of having everything, and choosing to experience, rather than fill a need. Easy? Not at all, but you can choose to try it.

Special Call - Overcoming the Fear of Recession

Bruce Schneider — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 06:28:00 -0500

Join me tonight on my monthly E-Factor broadcast as I discusses the recession, the real impact it's having on us all, and what we can begin to do about immediately. This is a show that many of you have asked for – and that eveyone needs to hear!

Overcoming the Fear of Recession

Recession is the word that seems to be heard (and felt) everywhere. But what's really driving the recession? What else may be compounding the economic concerns? What else is becoming "recessed?" If you're ready to stop being at the effect of the economy, and be part of the cause of the "turnaround," then join this call.

You'll be able to submit questions throughout the show on this topic, and even other issues that you may be encountering and want to pose to me. If you want to submit questions early, send them to efactor@iPECcoaching.com.

Date: Monday, March 23, 2009
Time: 8:30 - 9:30 PM (EST)

To register and receive dial-in information, go to http://www.ipeccoaching.com/the-efactor/index.html

What is Your Inner Critic Saying to You?

Bruce Schneider — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 06:53:00 -0500

If you’re not achieving what you want to, it’s most likely one of the Big 4 energy blocks that’s keeping you stuck. My last few posts looked at limiting beliefs - things that you accept about life, about yourself, about your world, or about the people in it, that limit you in some way; assumptions – expectations that, because something has happened in the past, it will happen again; and interpretations – opinions and judgments that you create about an event, situation, person, or experience and believe to be true.

It is now time to examine the last, but certainly not the least, of the big four energy blocks. The final block we’ll talk about - the gremlin - is the most difficult to overcome, because it’s the most personal and holds the most energy.

This barrier is the gremlin within every one of us: the inner critic. You know that little voice in your head? That voice that tells you not to try, never to take a risk, always to take the safe road, and to compromise your life by playing small? That’s your gremlin, and the message from your gremlin’s warnings is that you’re just not good enough to reach the summit of success.

Regardless of any evidence to the contrary, the gremlin’s annoying voice continues to whisper: “It ain’t gonna happen.” This debilitating message bubbles up in many forms: “I’m not smart enough, experienced enough, and attractive enough.” It all comes back to a simple and quite vicious block: “I’m just not good enough to cut it.”

Your gremlin is highly personal. It is rooted deeply inside you and carries the most intense emotional charge of any of the blocks we’ve explored. Your gremlin thrives on fear. When you hear its whispers, your motivation to try withers. You dread failing, feeling pain, and being embarrassed. You can even be scared of succeeding if the gremlin convinces you that you’ll fail eventually.

So what are some typical gremlin statements? Do you hear any of these statements from your own inner critic?

I’m not effective.
Who am I kidding, here?
I’m not smart enough to really do this job right.
I don’t have enough experience.
I don’t deserve great success.
They are going to find out I am a phony.

Being aware of your gremlin is the first step towards lessening its power. Once you realize that your gremlin exists, give it an identity. Name it – and then, if you’d like, make it even more real by drawing it, sculpting it, or seeing it in your mind – whatever works for you. In doing this, you discover that the gremlin is only a part of who you are, not your whole identity. By seeing it in objective terms, you sap some of its strength. Gremlin work can be quite involved and is most effective when you are guided by a certified coach.

Information on coaching and the process we at iPEC use to help clients overcome energy blocks can be found on our website, www.iPECcoaching.com, as well as in my book, Energy Leadership (Wiley).

Are You Jumping to Your Own Conclusions?

Bruce Schneider — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 03:34:00 -0500

The Big 4 energy blocks keep you stuck and prevent you from achieving what you want to in your life. We’ve already explored limiting beliefs and assumptions. Now, let’s look at the third energy block, interpretations. When you interpret something, you create an opinion about an event, situation, or experience. In essence, you create an explanation and then look for evidence to support its validity. When you make an interpretation, you don’t even see that other explanations exist. In actuality, though, an interpretation often represents only one viewpoint among the many that are possible.

Your interpretations hold a strong energetic charge, which affects your emotions and actions. If you believe your viewpoint of a particular situation is the only explanation, you might not be aware of another point of view. You may end up wasting a lot of time and resources marching off in the wrong direction. Because you don’t see that other possibilities exist, you remain stuck in your story, and feel like you have no control over the outcome.

So let’s say you come home into work one day, and your boss barely nods hello, and then goes into his office and closes the door. If you think that your boss acted that way because he is angry with you, you might spend the morning wondering what you did to get him mad, and you might be hesitant to approach him with the great idea you’d come up with on the way in to work.

As with assumptions, interpretations are personal and are somewhat difficult to let go of and challenge. Holding onto them may seem like the easy way out, as facing them may move you into uncharted territory. However, challenging your interpretations opens you up to a world of possibilities, literally.

Typical interpretations may sound like this:

He doesn’t like me.
She thinks I’m incompetent.
They don’t want to follow orders.
My son is just not interested in doing his homework.

Interpretations can be directly challenged by asking: “What’s another way to look at that?” Just realizing that there are other ways to look at something lessens the power of your interpretation. One way to do this is to imagine what another individual’s perspective of the situation might be. Asking for someone else’s point of view on a difficult situation (even if they are not directly involved) can break existing paradigms and open pathways for more successful solutions. Challenging yourself or others to argue the point of view directly opposite your interpretation also works remarkably well to arrive at new information, new angles, and new paths to success.

In the example of the boss above, perhaps the reason why he barely acknowledged you was that he just received a disturbing phone call about a family member, or he had a deadline that had to be met – or…….well, there are many possible explanations. What an opportunity you’d miss if you decided not to present your great idea based on your false interpretation.

Before you “jump to conclusions” and believe the first story that comes to mind, consider other possibilities that could lead you to new and empowering choices and actions.

Watch Your Assumptions!

Bruce Schneider — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:48:00 -0500

My last blog post explored limiting beliefs, the first of the “Big 4” energy blocks which prevent us from making conscious choices and reaching our potential. Let’s take a look now at another one of those blocks – the assumptions we make.

An assumption is a belief that is based on the premise that because something happened in the past, it is automatically going to happen again.

When you make choices based on your assumptions, you are letting the past control the future. Assumptions hold you back, because when you already “know” that something won’t work, you probably won’t even consider doing it. Even if you do attempt it, you won’t have a lot of energy for, or be engaged in, what you’re doing, since you don’t really believe it can work. When you hold on to your assumptions, you miss out on many possibilities.

Imagine this scenario: A new financial advisor has done five presentations, and none of the prospective clients have decided to hire her. If she’s makes the assumption that she is not good at doing presentations, then it’s unlikely that she’ll put her all into soliciting them. And, even if she does end up doing one, the catabolic energy she brings with her to the presentation may actually repel her potential clients (and without her even realizing it, she has created more proof that her assumption was correct.)

Here are some typical assumptions:
If I don’t do it myself, it won’t be done right.
My kids are lazy and unproductive.
I’m no good at interviewing.
No one listens to what I’m saying.

Because assumptions are primarily based on personal experience, they are internalized and emotional, and somewhat difficult to let go of. Delving deep to remove the emotion of the past experience may be necessary before moving forward.

The main question to ask when challenging an assumption is simply “Just because that happened in the past, why must it happen again?”

When you just “know” that something won’t work based on your past experience, recognize your assumption for what it is, question it, and consciously choose to let it go and to take positive action.