Two months ago, nobody saw this coming. She was still happily playing mahjong at home.

And six months ago, I definitely did not see this coming, because I posted the following status on my status page.

I recall that weekend, I was preparing to conduct my first ever workshop at a gamification event. It was a stressful period – rushing slides, preparing material and all. On hindsight, I guess I got too caught up.

My grandmother was still perfectly healthy at that time, and I completely took that for granted, thinking that “I could always attend her birthday next year”.

Someone commented on that status update which made me think a little bit. Initially, I berated myself for ‘thinking too much’. At the very last moment, I flung all my stuff aside and raced all the way down to her birthday dinner venue to catch the last 30 minutes of the festivities.

I’m glad I did, because that birthday turned out to be her very last.

In December, my grandmother landed up in hospital briefly. Everyone came down to visit one by one. No one thought much of it though, and the usual family drama occurred (one extremely loud aunt apparently spoke so loudly in the ward that the patient in the next bed complained – resulting in everyone being thrown out). My grandmother got discharged, everyone was relieved.

Then, it turned out she had stage 4 cancer.

A secret so well-kept that only a grand total of 6 people knew. I only learned about this a week before my grandmother left. Likewise for a handful of my cousins. As for the remainder of the family, they only discovered hours before her death.

As for my grandmother, she was completely clueless that she had cancer.

The people heavily involved with my grandmother’s treatment had a rationale for keeping it from everyone (and even my grandmother herself), which I understand. They didn’t want the rest of us to worry. She had been undergoing a special kind of chemo which didn’t cause her hair to fall out so everyone was none the wiser. Plus, she seemed to be doing well.

As of March, her tumour markers was almost down to normal. Things looked promising.

Then in April, she decided to skip her medication (the one supposedly to support her immune system which was damaged by the chemo), thinking that it would be okay.

It took only 2 weeks for it to go completely downhill.

During her wake, my cousins and I transformed it into a celebration of her life, getting our hands dirty on Day 1 creating three large posterboards featuring my grandmother during her happier times – travelling to Hong Kong, China, Vietnam and even as far as Canada and the US of A. They were put up around the wake for all visitors to look at.

We want people to remember her as the jet-setting grandmother who went everywhere, always surrounded by her loved ones. And not the frail version of her former self which we all last saw of her.

Her death was a huge wake-up call that I’ve been neglecting the people who matter to me most – my family and extended family (whom I used to see almost weekly or at least monthly, but only every 4-6 months in the past 4 years).

Although it’s too late to start getting back the lost time I could have spent with my grandmother, it’s not too late to start earning back moments with the other important people in my life.

I’m still in shock at how things turned topsy turvy so quickly in less than 6 months.

Treasure those you have with you now, because they are not going to be there forever.

Rest in peace, grandma. And I hope there are snow mountains for you to look at, and the grizzly bear which you wanted to take a photo with when we were in Toronto.

‘Starting Now’ is written and sung by local songstress Tay Kewei. It’s the theme song of a current drama serial on entrepreneurship here in Singapore. Titled Start Up!《创!》, it looks into the trials and tribulations of entrepreneurship including betrayal. (No forms of betrayal going on in real life, thankfully. (;)

I did this cover on a whim one weekday – because I loved the melody and the lyrics struck so deep a chord I just wanted to sing it. Yes, that is my voice you’re listening to, and me strumming the ukulele in the background.

This video highlights moments from my start-up journey with my awesome teammates in Gametize (and our flagship product GameMaki, now a simple gamification platform).

This is a tribute to you guys, and everyone out there breaking out of the conventional mould and chasing their dreams. Keep pushing on!

Tay Kewei (郑可为) – Starting Now
同样的悔过 同样的脆弱 共同的脉搏
不要再等候 不要再懦弱 命运自己掌握

遗憾是生命的磋跎
多少眼泪 多少痛
多少梦 被遗忘在其中
泪水换来的成功
只要努力 就值得拥有

开创新的以后 下定决心 就绝不退缩
勇闯未来的梦 相信自己 就放手一搏
Starting now 热血 带领我 冒险

同样的借口 同样的节奏 时间不停留
现在是时候 现在就行动 不向现实低头

We went on our first gathering yesterday evening. Honestly a memorable one, and I’m confident there’ll be more to come. These are the people I grew up with. We’ve known each other since we were little runts, subsequently brats, then snotty teenagers and now grown-ups with our own hopes and dreams. On top of that, a shared identity, family history and genes to match.

Laughing at one another’s jokes and ridiculous boo-boos were reminiscent of my last proper interaction with them, sometime 5 years back. (During the 5 years, I withdrew from my extended family a lot – for a variety of personal reasons. Now, I’m kicking myself for having done so because I have lost out on a lot of precious time.) I’m really happy that after all this time, some things don’t change. :’)

——–

We had dinner at Saveur, a lovely place with awesome French food at really decent prices … to the point where we had no qualms about topping up our orders because the food was so good.

In fact, the staff also had this strange tendency to send food which did not belong to us (but meant for the table next to us) our way. And of course, some unsuspecting cousin will scoop a huge mouthful and plop it into his mouth … just before a more observant one goes “waaaait, did we order that?”

The occupants of the next table got so paranoid that they’d never fail to look over each time food gets served on our table. It was quite hilarious to watch.

——–

During dessert. M ordered ‘cookies and milk’ which turned out to be this plateful of … something completely covered with milk froth. It was so intriguing that everyone leaned in for a closer look.

“What’s underneath?” J asked. (Obviously asking about the dessert.)

In response, M lifted the plate and peeked below it.

Facepalms all around.

The above, and a tonne of other laughter-inducing moments. I’m even giggling to myself as I’m writing this, and am suddenly aware of how much I really miss all these.

Good night, folks.