Much like this song, the title is meaningless but kind of pretty.

This is fully synthesized, no samples were molested in the creation of this track. Also, It’s a year and a half old. I need to not sit on tracks so long.

It is, however, that Ode To Joy, it is utterly terrible, and it’s a terrific example of the horrors that FL Studio allows otherwise well-meaning people to perpetrate upon music. Enjoy, suckers.

I suppose that means I could have just as easily titled this track “Look, A Walking Cardboard Box”.

Nothing Left To Take Away is, as a title, a statement on  self-editing in digital music, and how there generally isn’t enough of it, and that there’s a habit among digital composers to try to cram 3 or 4 songs’ worth of ideas into one piece, and they shouldn’t. Even as an enthusiast of minimalism, I have the same problem.

The reason I bring it up? This tune needed a lot of scrubbing before it was ready for prime time. It was very crapped up. It is not now, and that is good.

Why you didn’t get a podcast yesterday? Because I’m a lazy bastard is why.

Hell Has A Power Grid is industrial and dark and creepy, and it sort of sounds like a warehouse that had, I don’t know, a lot of wiring and shit in it, right after some big freaking thing rampaged through and fucked shit up.

Also? Pure synthesis. I can’t tell you how much I love sample-free industrial.

It’s also pretty easy to completely screw up your export before you close your project without saving, leaving you with a small audio file that has absolutely nothing to do with what you were trying to accomplish, forcing you to redo your project and release a vastly inferior second take.

Because its never as good the second time.

HOLY CRAP.

Ok, it’s not out of the blue, I did send in demos a couple of weeks ago, and John has to personally like the music to be accepted. But still! Little old weird-ass me, I have a record deal with one of the most remarkable independent music labels on the planet. One that actually pays real money.

Of course, it’s never that simple. The first thing I need to come up with is a name for the album, and I have no freaking idea what to do here. I just submitted a bunch of my favorite tracks with no real concept of how they went together. Not all of them made it in, but the tracks that will be on the album are:

Instant Space Orchestra
14 Space 1
Vistas
Summer Solstice
Drone 6
Ambient Strings
Surely
Neur 7
Yettu
Chickabom

I think it’s neat that these tracks cover the entire 4 years I’ve been doing this podcast.It’s pretty balanced, I think, somewhere between ambient and drone, light and dark.

Anyway, I don’t know what order they’ll be in, but those are the tracks. So what do I call this? I need an album name so I can fill out the contract and send it back and make the whole thing all official. The only idea I’ve had so far is “Reaching Out In All Directions”, because, lets face it, my sounds are all over the place.I also want to avoid the ambient tendency to have really sappy, sentimental album titles, and I think that title achieves a certain thoughtfulness without being syrupy.

So what do you think? What should I call it?

It’s repetitive, it’s maddening, it stretches (dunno how that happened), and if you’re patient, you’ll see why I called it that.

Music To Go Crazy To(tm).

You may have noticed a meta-naming-scheme thing going on, whereas this and the three previous pieces are all numerical. It’s not spooky. The reason is because I dug up these four tracks from the depths of my hard drive, and they were called Dragged Sample 4, 6, 7, and 8. That’s all. That’s it. There’s no rhyme or reason to this. It’s all just an excuse to fill in fields so I can put ambient music I don’t even remember making on the internet.

Just listen.

Grooving along…

Stuff is mellow and good…

Oh crap what’s that?

Cool!

See? it doesn’t work.

And so, you’re tripping out on this big ship, right? So imagine the captain catches you, and he’s a total jerk, right? He can’t stand that you’re blowing your own mind, so he decides you need to learn a lesson, and throws you into the engine room to “cool off”. And in the engine room, the engines produce these massive huge EM fields, and the whole thing starts duking it out with your high, man, and you’re caught in the middle.

–

This is a piece of what I’ve learned is probably Dark Ambient music, and it possibly could even be classified as Isolationism, since to me it sounds like you’re trapped in a confined, loud space, and there’s something out to get you. I don’t know when I made this, but it’s awesome.

I named this track “Summer Solstice” ultimately because I grew up in Pennsylvania and that’s where I learned what summer was supposed to be. To me, this track sounds like that hard, bright sunlight of June feels like, and the intensity of everything growing around you is visceral, when it’s hot but not oppressive and viscous like August often is.

Once again, this is one synth, one take. Enjoy.

The music was kindly provided by Jeremiah Pena, an enormously talented young man who makes media and puts it on his website, JeremiahPena.com. He’s got more that you should check out, so go to his site.

So, feel free to take this file, or any of my promo files, and play them on your show. You don’t need my permission, but if you let me know you’re doing it, you’ll make my day. I’ll go listen and tell my friends, honest, cuz I’m cool like that.

*thumbsup*

Also, by the time you’re reading this, hopefully, there will already be a link in the sidebar for you to directly access my promos. If not, check back soon.

Any time I open up a noisemaker on my computer, all I try to do is find a cool sound. That’s all, and keeping it that simple is harder than you might think. It’s very easy to fall into “trying to make a song” or get caught up in programming a beat or otherwise get distracted by some minutia from discovering great sounds.

My solution is to try to work as fast as possible. That’s why I post a lot of very simple stuff here, and it tends to be thematically singular. I find something nifty, I make it make sounds, and I export the sound before I can give myself a chance to fuck it up.

Tonight’s track is an excellent example. It’s just a kick, a clap and a hihat, two of which are processed, and fiddled around with in a step sequencer and sent straight to mp3. Cool, huh?

This time, we have the inimitable Zach Ricks, known far and near as @madpoet, generously creating this Braindouche! promo with his most talented wife, who’s name I honestly don’t know. Why the heck would he do that? The story goes something like this…

Zach, about once a week, gets through the all the work he needs to, and comes up with what he’s referred to at least once as “a few spare cycles”. Then, he goes on twitter and offers to help. Anyone who has a request, he’ll try and help. I’ve seen him fulfill requests to write stories, finish his own projects, write stuff for other people, and create promos for podcasts, and I don’t even know what else because I’m usually too busy to pay enough attention to twitter to see what he’s up to. It’s a really neat experiment in making and in quick-fire creativity, and amazingly generous, and also one killer sort of promotional gimmick.

Thanks, Zach, you’re awesome.

Did I say promotional? Because Zach also does this fairly new podcast called The Mad Poet Files, and it’s just him reading his fiction, and it’s exactly the sort of simple, well-produced, to the point, bullshit-free podcast I adore. He also does other podcasts too, but I don’t listen to them. Stories from The Mad Poet Files are also for sale in ebook formats, and if you’re into that sort of thing, I suggest considering dropping a couple of bucks in his ehat.

Crystal Skulls is taken verbatim from an email I received the other day. This is for real. It is not a joke.

Seriously, you guys. I mean it. This is important stuff. Really. Don’t laugh. It’s not funny.

If you would like to attend, more information is here. You’ll probably have to join the Ning group, but I’m a member. They’re good people.

As usual, the music is from the incomparable Incompetech.

Other links: New Age Musik Circle, Sounds of Sirius.

The other day, I had the really ambitious idea to completely reorganize my audio archive, and it was a screaming success. Not only did I get everything where it’s supposed to be, I found a bunch of audio I thought I’d lost, and I found lots and lots of audio I don’t remember making at all, and never did anything with.

That means there are lots of podcasts in your immediate future, you lucky person.

I also came across a bunch of unfinished and abandoned projects, including this, Sound of Sound. There was a short script with it, and rather than read it myself, I asked my buddy Kelly to read it for me, which she did quickly and with skill, because she’s awesome.

So what is this? Just a little bit of pseudo-intellectualism with some lovely lo-fi noise. It’s a quick little bit of weird. I feel like I haven’t been doing much weird stuff lately, and I didn’t realize how much I was missing it until now.

This is bit #1 of Project Codename: Vistas. Essentially, I decided one day to create an ambient album, and thus far I’ve completed one track and done a lot of work that’s not done yet. This is it. It’s not fully mastered, and the beginning and ending times have issues, I know. Deal.

If you can come up with a name for it, I’d greatly appreciate any suggestions you can come up with. This whole “pretty, reassuring” phase I’m going through is fun, but I’m totally out of my depth.

So, I’m editing voice tracks the other day, and one comes through completely mangled. All noise. I don’t know what happened, and neither does the guy who recorded it, but once that was resolved, I listened to the ruined track again. It was interesting noise, if you can believe that. (If you listen to this podcast, you’ll probably believe anything.) So I says to the guy, I’m keeping this track for Braindouche!, it’s interesting noise and I’ll make something out of it.

This is the result.If you’ve been listening a long time, you’re probably familiar with Instant Space Orchestra, an ambient piece I did a couple of years ago. This piece is essentially the same sort of music, using the same techniques, but with a couple of extra years of experience and some additional tools at my disposal.

Oh, the title? The original source track is a bunch of lines for a character named Shirley.

Also, I realize the track is probably a little too long, and I didn’t trim the silent lead in. Considering this is basically a one-note fugue, I’m just going to call it minimalism and move on.

All in all, I’d call this a couple of hours very well spent.

For episode 100, we have a fantastic little piece by Tom Reed, a Texan who makes his living torturing innocent teenagers with math, and who for no discernable reason has become the official Bitstripper of the podcasting community.

And his episode is right on target, if you know what I mean.

You can find him verbally abusing podcasters on twitter, and go check out his bitstrips here.

For episode 100, I bring you a piece called Your Holiday Eyebrow Trim, recorded and assembled by one Mister Paul Potts. He describes it as “not so much a piece of audio art as it is an experience”.

I’ll tell you what it is: it’s a surprisingly compelling binaural recording of a man at the barber shop, and utterly fantastic. You absolutely must listen to this with headphones on, or you won’t get it.

And, as a little bonus, Paul finishes out this piece by singing that classic Coulton Christman Carol (say that 5 times fast), Chiron Beta Prime.

Awesome.

Wait, what the hell is this Acoustic Tea shit?

Ok, so, for the better part of a year now, Dani and I have been working on launching a little side project, made of audio stories and maybe later books and stuff. It’s called Acoustic Tea, and tonight it’s finally fired. If you head on over to the website, you’ll find the exact same story posted over there, along with all the basics you’d expect in a site. Dani read it, I produced it, and J.E. Ignatius McNeill, aka @dreamrock wrote it. And the music is from Magnatune, and completely awesome.

It’s actually kind of awesome how the story happened. I was searching high and low for a “seasonal” story to read for Acoustic Tea, either public domain or Creative Commons. I wasn’t finding anything, so I lamented as much on Twitter. @DreamRock responded “I can write something for you. Gimme a week or two.” And he totally did and totally blew my mind in the process.

Anyway, as far as you’re concerned, Braindouche! is still going to be exactly what it is, but Acoustic Tea is going to function as my “professional audio portfolio”. Because, I mean, you guys understand that I can’t send potential clients here out of the gate unless they’re real special people, right? The Normals aren’t going to get it. So that’s for them. And I needed another project, right?

Right?

Merry merry.

Nonetheless. Episode 99 means that episode 100 is right around the corner. And for me? That means I’m going to avoid THE HELL out of episode 100. I’m going to post episode 101 and breeze on by like nothing ever happened, and that’s because YOU are going to produce episode 100 for me, my inexplicably faithful listeners. Anyone can produce and submit an episode 100, I will play whatever you submit with a minimum of comment, and I will release as many episode 100′s as I have to until they’re done.

So what do you think? Wanna play? If you want to produce an episode 100, send me an email, podcast at braindouche.net, hit me up on twitter, at-braindouche, leave a comment, or find me somewhere else on the internet. If you have any questions, just let me know.

What else is there to say, really? Here’s to 100 more. Thanks for listening.

None of it happened. Oh, I did some preliminary work on a few episodes, but they sucked. I didn’t have the right equipment, I didn’t have the time to do that much heavy production, and frankly I didn’t have the experience to produce these very ambitious pieces.

The other month, I was going through and doing a little tidying up in my audio production files, and I found one of the old abandoned pieces, and decided to try to finish it. It came together nicely, if a little creepily, I think. It’s worth noting that the whole thing was produced so grungy is because my source files were absolutely terrible, especially the ones I recorded at the time. Since I couldn’t clean them up, I decided to make them very, very dirty.

Anyway, the point is that Katrina wrote all this, more or less, and it’s on the internet somewhere. She currently blogs at Stone Soup, but you won’t find this story posted there — and I’m not going to be the one to tell you where to find it, either. Ask her. She blogs about writing novels and the hats she collects and being a mom to some enormously precocious kids and being married to a nuclear engineer genius and having dogs and, yanno, stuff.

She’s one of my favoritest people in the world.

Concerning the sounds…

The band is Tundra, the album is Aquaduct, and the tracks are I Know The Way and The Basics,off the Contra label, and the link is here. (Incidentally, I found it on archive.org.)

Alan Bainbridge did my voice of God in there, kindly gifted to me via the radiodaddy forum.(I’m trying to find more information about him right now, and I’ll update if I can get him better links.)

Some sounds came from the freesound project, some came from soundsnap.com, and some just got found on very old .WAV websites all over the internet, particularly the animal samples.

Other links of note:

hot glue media: I’m a professional nerd, I specialize in wordpress, Dani does graphic design, and we’ll do almost anything for money.

Sweet Tarragon: We also make jewelry, and we can make it custom for you, for money.

The Sweet Couch Experience: It’s a truism that if you start and stick with one podcast, you’ll have more eventually. Much like Braindouche! is a podcast I made because I couldn’t find any podcasts like it elsewhere and wanted to listen to one, The Sweet Couch Experience is a very simple podcast I couldn’t find anywhere else. It’s simple, a daily dose of cool, weird, cheesy, remarkably bad or simply peculiar audio I found on the internet. It’s a found-sound archive experiment. It’s kind of nifty and I look forward to listening to it every day and I program and produce the damn thing. (It also was kind of broken as of a few hours ago, but I think I have everything fixed and straightened out now.)

It’s past my bedtime. If I’ve forgotten anything I’ll update this later. Goodnight internet.

Ok, so, you know exactly how many promos for other shows I play, right? None. This is the first. That should be an indication of exactly the height of esteem I hold the Geek Pantheon and Your Moment of Kim. Besides, it’s a killer bit of audio.

Go, be a fan like me.

So he went to make some music one day, and he sampled me as part of it! How cool is that? It’s called Mandeville Ward (Demo), and it’s sort of this industrial song thing. He did most of the music and the singing, the lyrics are by Aidan Galea, and my contribution is a long sample from Not Dreamy. It’s kind of hard to hear, because it’s a bed in the background, but in the beginning, if you listen for that pulsing in the background, that’s me.

How cool is that?

Radio is an interesting medium, and I maintain that the more primitive the radio system, the more interesting it continues to be. Look at XM, for instance. 3700 channels, all carefully programmed and crystal clear wherever you are. There is never any question of what you’ll hear, where you can hear it, or how it will sound. Now compare that with shortwave radio, all the way at the other end of the spectrum. With shortwave, you never know what you’ll find when you turn on your receiver, if someone will be having a conversation or making a broadcast, or where in the world it’s coming from, or if more than one person is trying to use the same frequency at the same time, or if you’ll get anything at all. You can still sometimes find spy numbers broadcasts in shortwave alongside police scanners and conspiracy theory shows and truckers and music and god knows what else. It’s adventurous and interesting.

AM is  by it’s nature less orderly than satellite or FM, and it’s been getting crazier at it’s gotten cheaper. On a clear day you can listen to broadcasts from all over your planetary quadrant with just the receiver built into your car. You can hear what happens when the signals of two different stations, hundreds or thousands of miles apart, cross their signals. And, thanks to the thriving time-brokered AM market, you can hear some righteously weird shit.

Yes, I’m weird, sometimes I’ll listen to radio static because it has a particularly interesting sound to it. Not the point.

So all this gave me the idea one day to see if I could simulate the sound of multiple radio stations broadcasting on the same frequency. It’s a distinctive sound. And that idea tumbled around in my head for a few months, and I had a pretty good idea of how to make it happen, and then my head turned towards podcasting. Because everything is about podcasting. I thought I might be able to use this (theoretical) technique to make a little statement about what it’s like trying to be a podcaster.

You see, there are about 50 podcasts out there with really world-class audiences, about a thousand with very worthy numbers, and there’s the rest of us hoping one day to be noticed by anyone at all. While the Top 20 Podcast list on iTunes has gone through some changes lately and for the better (no more Oprah or Joel Osteen, thank god), it’s still very much a place where the whales just trade places with each other and suck up most of the listening hours themselves.

So you want to know what it’s like to get heard? This is what it’s like to get heard. Your voice pokes out now and then, if you’re lucky, but mostly you’re drowned out by the big boys, and your message gets destroyed, and then everyone else gets stomped on by Ira Glass.

Technically, this was a very easy piece to assemble. It’s entirely aleatoric, with only beginnings and endings considered. The levels were processed by the Audacity Auto Duck plugin, just one after the other, and everything was just left to chance, and the effect turned out to be quite interesting. You’ll hear my Episode Zero, and you’ll hear the most recent episode of This American life, and the most recent episodes of 3 other top 20 podcasts in iTunes, and I will award a brass figlagee with bronze oak leaf palm to the person who can name the other three shows featured herein.

Enjoy. Or don’t. It doesn’t matter. Nobody’s listening anyway, not in the grand sense.

~~~

Hey everybody,

If you’ve talked to Dani and I over the past year or so, you know we’ve been busy. Busy busy. Crazy busy. We’re running around selling jewelry and building websites and working jobs and neglecting basics like vacuuming and dishes, and it’s gotten to the point that something has got to give. So, we’ve sat down and thought about it, and decided to pursue the path of fewest pants — we’re shaking things up a bit* and going full time freelance.

Cue the gasp orchestra.

What does this mean? For us, it’s a massive revolution in lifestyle. For YOU, it doesn’t mean a heck of a lot except to know that we’re officially open for business, and what was a small side thing is now our bread and butter. We design websites, we do graphics and logos, we host internet things, we do copywriting and copyediting, we produce new media content, we advise you on your new media content, we can design email advertising and newsletter layouts, we can fix your computer, and we can talk to your group of people about all that and a lot more.

We’re not begging you to hire us**,  we’re just asking that you keep us in mind during your day to day. Does your company hire freelancers or temps for projects? Do you know someone who wants to sell things online? Does your church want to teach its members about sane internet use? Heck, does your church’s website need updating? We’re open for business and ready and willing to do what you need. Our prices are good, and like all new freelancers we’re a little bit desperate for work.

So, please, keep us in mind. If you’re not sure if we can do something, call, ask, email, tweet or send up smoke signals. We’re not just flexible, adaptable and good at finding fixes to problems, we’ve also both had bizarre careers that left Dani and I with a strange and broad collection of skills. Check out our newly revamped website [link] to find out more.

*A note about Sweet Tarragon: It’s no secret that we really dig the jewelry thing. We’ll be taking a bit of a break from that in the coming year to pour all of our energy into hot glue media, where it needs to be right now. We have plenty of shows booked through September, so we’ll be finishing out the season, and we plan to keep going with our consignment gigs, home shows, and custom work. Sweet Tarragon will still be open for business, but on a much smaller scale.

**That’s a lie. Yes, we are.

Christ, what will it take with you people? This isn’t good! It isn’t a podcast that will play your voicemails and make you feel included in the warm fuzzy geek community, it won’t give you good information, it’s not even pleasing to listen to! What is wrong with you?

edited to add: Ok fine, honey, I’ve fixed it.

Anyway, enjoy the sparkly pretty music.

And so they do. This is for Kate. If you are not Kate, you should go to http://omshanti.etsy.com/ and buy her stuff, and then smear it all over your body.

They Don’t Know — Best Themesong EVER.

They Don’t Know — Best Themesong EVER.

They Don’t Know — Best Themesong EVER.

They Don’t Know — Best Themesong EVER.

Each day we have the same amount of time to use. If we use our emotional energy for the wrong purposes, focused on the negative, dwelling on who hurt us, we’re not going to have the energy we need for the right purposes. We’re not going to make the best decisions. We’re not going to be as creative with our gifts, and our talents won’t come out to the full. Part of living purposeful is to keep offenses, bitterness and grudges from robbing our energy. Like the sun shines brightly each day, that is how we ought to be; we shouldn’t let anything block our light.

With this gift of life comes a responsibility to develop our talents, to pursue our God-given goals, to become everything that He has created us to be. On a regular basis, reevaluate what you’re doing and how you’re spending your time. Refocus your life. Let go of any distractions. Shake off any self-pity, any discouragement, any disappointments and run your race with purpose. If you’ll run with purpose in every step, accepting and appreciating the gift today, then you are redeeming your time, and when you come to the end of your days, you’ll be able to say, “I have no regrets. I have spent my life well.”

They Don’t Know — Best Themesong EVER.

They Don’t Know — Best Themesong EVER.

They Don’t Know — Best Themesong EVER.

Anyway, I like it.

For more fabulous misanthropy, check out ComicBookGoddess, aka Kim, at GeekPantheon.com. Her podcast rocks, as does her music, which I’ve used repeatedly.

Mostly unrelated, did you ever wonder why blue christmas lights are nigh-on-impossible to find? Because once you string them up and look at them at night, they’re impossible to see clearly. It’s bizarre, and probably perfectly scientific that they look blurry at most distances. I would even guess that they would be a hazard to drivers. If you ever have the opportunity, check it out, and you’ll see what I mean.

A little riot during the Christmas holidays never hurt anyone. Some awesome seasonal punk tunes for your ass.

Today, in honor of the very silly hat, I’ve got some delightfully twisted novelty christmas tunes.

Presenting, Braindouche! Advent, 31 days of oddball Christmas music to keep you from shooting up your local mall. Today, two of my favorites, Gayla Peevey wishes for a hippopotamus, and Herb Alpert does what he does best by raping and pillaging a classic tune.

I never said I was against making money. I’m not against cheesy emotional manipulation, either.

Please, if you love me, go over to SweetTarragon.com and buy some jewelry. Buy a lot. It’s on sale!

I still don’t have a clue what I did, but it sounds cool.

The sample I was breaking apart, by the way, is Metal and Ghosts.

I promise I’ll come back with more details later.

In the face of overwhelming odds, take off your pants and laugh like a lunatic, motherfucker! The emperors have no clothes!

… floor.

This is what happens when I’m left alone in a room without adequate supervision and an audio editor.

3 drinks…

Again, music generously provided by Comic Book Goddess. This track is called “All I Want”. Discover more of her nifty stuff at Comicbookgoddess.com.

2 drinks…

The music you hear, by the by, is one of several marvelous contributions made by Comic Book Goddess. This song is called “Goldilocks And The Fortress”, and if you’re a dedicated Buffy Between The Lines listener, you might recognize it from a Halloween episode. Discover more of her nifty stuff at Comicbookgoddess.com.

If you would like to participate in Bad Poetry Corner, and I kinda hope you do, leave a little something in the comments, or email me at podcast at braindouche dawt net. If you want to read it, go for it! We’ll work out the details later.

1 drink…

Fuck that noise.

Here’s the one complete script I have. I don’t know if I will revisit her in the future, but if I do, there will be a lot of other silliness included. Like, for instance, an implied animosity between the Diva and the studio enginner. And an extended storyline where the Diva and her husband eventually divorce, messily. and this whole thing where Braindouche! is fulfilling some asinine FCC rule that podcasts need to comply like other broadcasting outlets, so we bring in the Diva to fulfill “community access” requirements. And other stuff. It won’t be the worlds biggest nitwit dominant broad giving out horrific BDSM advice only.

But if you’ve ever been around an altsex community, you know this is some funny shit right here. At least, amusing. Maybe.

When I wake up in the mornings, I can generally only manage one coherent thought before I get to the office. This morning, it was “I want to play with my music looper program”. Ok, fine. I grabbed my laptop. I couldn’t stick it in my briefcase, however, because it in my car and also full of the Giant Podcasting Notebook of Doom-Adjacent Qualities. I found a bag and it almost was big enough to fit my laptop (it’s one of those 21″ dreadnoughts, so “almost” is the best I can honestly do), felt satisfied with that, and trundled off to work with my USB ports sticking all the hell out.

So, I’m at work, using my spare thoughts and smoke breaks to decide just what sort of music I want to make. Should I try remixing Mah Na’, again? Nah, I told myself, why not make it easy? Listen to some Solipsistic NATION, find a song you like, and copy it like the giant talentless thief you are?

Excellent. I haz a plan.

Back upstairs, I discover that all the SN I have left are hip hop shows, which are awesome but way too complicated. I was thinking, maybe, house music? Something dumb and danceable? All my other episodes are on my laptop. Which in under my desk. Rock! I transfer some files and, after many tries, find something that will work for my purposes.

Lunch finally rolls around, and I fire up Looper Dooper and git to working. I have an hour to make something coherent for NaPodPoMo. And I’m working and working and working and what the hell? I have an excellent beat and a cool-ass baseline going, and another half dozen tracks of a trippy-ass space music piece. I can either wrestle out the dance music was honestly trying to make, or accept my odd fate and export some not too bad space music.

Guess which one I picked?

Space 1, yet another creative title, no? It sounds pretty cool, but for whatever reason, when I exported it, something got in the way and the encoding glitched up. I decided it didn’t sound too bad actually, and left it that way. Then I broke into a cold sweat because, while it’s a piece of music full of detunings, noise and other crimes against euphony, it wasn’t perfect. A couple of drinks later, and I’m managing to cope some how.

So, yeah, space music pwned my ass.

But really? No clue what happened to make it work. It’s not my fault.

And shut up. That’s how I spelled it then.

Oh, and, that music is Autumn Stream by Adam Zampino.

Many thanks to Jared at the Voice of Free Planet X, Bruce of Audio2U, Lorenzo at the Psychedelic Salon, David at Grizzly’s Growls, and Robin (and Parviz laughing like a maniac in the background) at Schnauzer Logic.

Crazy is the final part of The Psychosis Set. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice it sounds a bit similar to the post a couple of days ago, Crisis. And you’d be right. I wasn’t entirely happy with Crisis, I find it a little one-dimensional. So, I tried to remix it into something new, give it more of a sense of movement. Therefore, an example of cognative dissonance became a full-blown nervous breakdown.

Thus ends The Psychosis Set.

This audio is about an attempted suicide.

Specifically, it’s my attempt to recreate my girlfriend’s suicide attempt, very early in our relationship. It’s based on what she’s told me. For obvious reasons, this is part 2 of The Psychosis Set.

Part one is called Crisis. It’s my attempt to create an audio representation of cognative dissonance.

If you stay tuned, you’ll find this file influenced a later piece. But I won’t tell you about it yet.

This is the last reaver scream, I promise. You’ll notice that this one is quite different than the others — that’s why it’s not in the numbered series.

Up next? Something completely different. Maybe.

This is the third in a series of four effects I came up with. I don’t think the result came out particularly reaverish, but the name stuck nonetheless.  The reason this is interesting is because I used four wildly different techniques to get what are essentially similar sounds, but I’ll be damned if I remember what any of them are now. Anyway, enjoy.

This is the second in a series of four effects I came up with. I don’t think the result came out particularly reaverish, but the name stuck nonetheless. The reason this is interesting is because I used four wildly different techniques to get what are essentially similar sounds, but I’ll be damned if I remember what any of them are now. Anyway, enjoy.

This is the first in a series of four effects I came up with. I don’t think the result came out particularly reaverish, but the name stuck nonetheless. The reason this is interesting is because I used four wildly different techniques to get what are essentially similar sounds, but I’ll be damned if I remember what any of them are now. Anyway, enjoy.

This is what it might sound like, I think.

Welcome to NaPodPoMo.

Just to serve as a fair warning, I’m participating in NaPodPoMo. I know it’s last-minute, but, hey, that’s how I roll. For more information on NaPodPoMo, click the link.

Podcasters, being a rather silly lot, have been bequeathing titles on each other since forever. I was having some fun with twitter folk earlier today over these titles, and, well…

It became a Canonical List of All Silly Titles of All Podcast Overlords, Ever.

Am I missing someone obvious? Like you? That can be fixed. You can comment here with the relevant information, or tweet me at @braindouche, and the list will get updated as I can get to it.

I’ve been in the mood to do a BD!Radio for a week or so now, and just never quite got up the focus to dive through my archives to find stuff to play. Tonight, I was wandering through Archive.org (now with a working keyword structure!) and I found this short, experimental album. I love it. I want to be a tenth as awesome as this. I can share it with you!

Hey, it’s out of character, but I don’t have to always be a big stinky pirate, right?

Gunter Adler says about his EP, The Silver Book:

“For some years I have been carrying a small silver book along with me. It serves as a note book for sketches, ideas, thoughts… These rarely are palpable or brought to conclusion. Thus they are not suited for any direct use. The silver book is an unlimited repository for inspiration, makes me feel contemplative
or amuses me. At times I wonder whether somebody who comes across the book should be able to discover a use for it or might find some meaning in the nonsensical words and sentences. This EP consists of material I collected and archived messily in the years 1999 to 2005. Call it IllMuzak, Illbient or an experimental audio book, the designation is without relevance. It is a personal and humoristic work, appropriate before a sumptuous dinner or in order to calm down passengers during the take off of an airplane.
My intention was to find blurred, yet nevertheless dense sound qualities offering sufficient room for private associations to the listener, however, simultaneously being powerful enough to carry him away. Although silver is the fairest of colours, the sounds of this EP are rather the opposite…”

Track listing:

1. Angeltone

2. I feel for you

3. The Silver Book

4. Zeitnaht

5. Rohrpost revisited

Direct link to archive.org

Gunter Adler on myspace

The music in this podcast is released under a Creative Commons license: Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0

Many megabytes later, and I’ve found something l like. Here’s the first “finished” piece to come from that, and the awesome part? It only took me an hour or so to complete. The fact that it’s not very good is completely beside the point. It’s called Trance 2 because… it’s the second one I made, and I’m unoriginal. And, it’s worth noting that I don’t know if it’s actually trance or not, electronic music genres baffle me. I thought it sounded appropriate.

In case you were wondering, I declare this track to be a part of the public domain. Use it, sell it if you can, podcast it, remix it, whatever you like. I’d really love it if you leave a comment if you do use this track for something, because I’m always curious about those sorts of things, and it’s a reliable way to discover New Awesome Things. Twice now, people have taken entire episodes from my feed and played them on their show without letting me know first. The only reason I found out about that is that I happen to be subscribed to those shows — who knows where my stuff has landed? I don’t care if you play my stuff elsewhere, but I’d love a little warning. I’m nosey and like to be supportive.

So yeah, while you’re driving by for the download, leave a little love in the comments, or come back with your final product. You’ll be rewarded in heaven, honest.

This bit is from version 1. It’s the only piece that’s ever been published on all three editions of braindouche, and if I’m smart, the only one. It’s remarkable because it might be funny, and I assembled Public Service Announcement practically word-by-word using Windows Sound Recorder. Yes, really. I’m kind of fond of it, because it’s the first show I’ve ever put together that really hit the mark for me.

Shrug. Maybe it’s just me. Feel free to completely hate it.

Christian Ellis loved the spoof! She played it on her Feedback #12 recently on Shallow Thoughts, and you can go listen to it, though she doesn’t add much. (shallowthoughts.libsyn.com)

Dani, the resident Braindouche! cohost you don’t hear from much, read for Nobilis over at his podcast, episode 85. It’s all fancy and part of a book release and totally NSFW, and you can get all the information over at his site about it. (nobilis.libsyn.com)

And finally, I got a little love letter from Some Audio Guy. He thinks I’m nifty, and I think he’s nifty right back at him. In fact, if you’re at all interested in audio geekery without the ranting hate or a lot of, yanno, math, check out his blog. (someaudioguy.blogspot.com)

That’s all. Come back soon for more mayhem.

Spoof you, Christiana!

The music you hear in the background is Deliberate Thought, by Kevin MacLeod, the superhero behind www.incompetech.com.

EDITED TO ADD: since the new WordPress update breaks Podpress, here’s the audio file. I’ll come back and properly podcast this once it’s fixed.

And then, if you’re me, you start thinking you can do it, too. Because you can.

EDITED TO ADD: because El Plan De Aguavodka ate my fucking brain, that’s why.

This actually wasn’t my idea. The original idea came from Midori. The the not-safe-for-work fetish diva, not the liquor.

My answer? The universe is what it is, but we can only know what we perceive it to be. The universe can ultimately be reduced down to nerve impulses because that is the totality of our experience. That makes me a materialist, and I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings.

Go listen to Sue’s podcast. It’s deep thoughts and big ideas considered by everyday people, and it’s good stuff.

Tonight, I have a sort of arty audio collage called The Birthright. As also explained in the actual real voiceover, I have some new and slightly dodgy technology to play with, and I want to apologize for breathing into the mic like I did. I hate that.

The music is Babba Gee by Stargarden, from Mangatunes.com. I actually don’t like this song all that much, but it works well for this piece, and really, how much control do I actually have in this process?

The original audio files come from the Psychedelic Salon podcast #120, Notes To Myself. Thank you, Lorenzo, you are a podcasting hero of mine. I hope you get a chance to listen to it.

With a little luck, I’ll have a few more McKenna remixes for you guys some time in the future.

Comments, criticisms, rants and raves can be made in the blog, or you can email me at podcast at braindouche.net. Enjoy!

Note: Somehow, I uploaded an 11 minute silent file to the server. Should be fixed now, but if you somehow got the bum file, you can redownload now.

This little bit sounds to me like a bunch of ghosts who are really upset at being trapped in a heavy, metal ventilation system. Which is much more pleasant to listen to than you’d think.

However, I found a few more Gwen Verdon vids, and I thought I’d share my guilty little pleasure with you. A little piece of your soul may die if you watch this, but them’s the wages of youtube, folks.

Orchestra: I think it sounds like strings and flutes and perhaps just the lightest little percussion section with cymbals in the back.

Space: In my universe, Ambient music is awesome, but Space music has a definite direction to follow. This piece goes somewhere.

Instant: You wouldn’t believe how quickly this whole piece came together.

So, yeah. Just when I’d given up on completing RPM, here’s another installment.  That makes 17:28. That means I’m halfway there! And I’ve got two days left! I don’t think I’ll be able to finish, but it’s been fun trying.

The Jihad destroyed nearly everything. The internet is gone, telephone communication is only possible within small communities if it’s available at all, and television simply requires too much valuable electricity to allow a set to be kept on very long, let alone produced. The only reliable systems of communication are radio broadcast and print, and even then, they’re prohibitively expensive — and therefore controlled by the factions. Mostly.

A third faction exists, officially classified as “terrorists” by both sides. They’re a loose network of rebels, made up mostly of punks, hackers, journalists, and a few other malcontents who refused to swear allegiance to either side during the Jihad. While they’re referred to as Anarchs by both the New Republic and the CRI (and occasionally as The Fourth Estate, if you’re sure nobody is listening) , they’ve never actually claimed a name, preferring to mark their work with the phrase “We are Anonymous. I am Legion.” Mostly, they work to interfere with both factions, griefing both sides with everything from transmitter sabotage to bizarre Dadaist performances impersonating typical faction propaganda displays. As time went, their actions and techniques became highly sophisticated.

Being that radio transmission is the only form of communication left that’s faster than gossip, “number stations” have experienced a renaissance during the Second Civil War, mostly because, historically, their codes were notoriously hard to break. This is an example of an intercepted short-wave transmission typical of that time. It’s impossible to say where it came from, or from who, without deciphering the code.

This story concept, “universe”, entities mentioned, and general story idea is hereby released into the public domain. However, if you decided to use any or all of the text of this post in a creative work, please contact me and let me know. I just want to see where it goes, if it goes anywhere. The audio portion of this post is not a part of the public domain, and rights are reserved on portions of the audio that are inextractable from the rest of the piece. Please contact me for more details.

Intergalactic Windchimes is built from a highly processed 5 second sample of brown noise. (Noise comes in different colors. White noise has an even spread across frequencies, while other colors of noise have different properties and therefore their own distinctive sounds. On it’s own, brown noise sounds like a wave constantly in the middle of crashing.) In the process of stretching out and processing the sample, many harmonics have been highlighted, and the result is an extended piece that sounds like an accidental radio broadcast from an alien civilization who considers wind chime music to be high art.

Lesson learned: When heavily processing a piece of audio (in Audacity, at any rate), it’s very difficult to not end up with a very sci-fi result. The process itself, as I do it, leaves enormous artifacts embedded in the sound that are tough to remove and almost impossible to prevent. The digital artifacts have an inescapable electronic, artificial and ordered sound, something that I think most people associate with “the future”.

Next goal? Something that sounds different from this.

Dunno about you, but it sounds like the perfect time to start a killer insane project!

I signed up the other day with the RPM Challenge. In really short terms, it’s the NaNoWriMo for recording musicians. During the month of February (now with 24 extra hours!), you need to come up with, record, and master a CD with ten songs or 35 minutes of sound. Just like Nano, it doesn’t need to be good, it just needs to be done. Since I haven’t written an actual song in years, I figured I could take this opportunity to really dig into sound art type stuff, play with ambient textures, and generally assemble a collection of noise that will be little more than proofs of concept. It’s a challenge to plug in my digital audio toys and see if I can come up with 35 minutes of not nothing in an absurd time frame.

I don’t know what I’ll come up with during the month of February. What I do know is that I’ll be updating this site with whatever I do come up with, as frequently as I can. I probably won’t do a whole lot of talking, if any, because I do know that talking into a microphone is still an inefficient practice for me. For my own sanity, I’ve also made a rule that, unless I need something specific or I find something that inspires me, all my samples will come from The Freesound Project. Whether or not I can stick to it is yet to be seen. My goal, from beginning to end, is to use public domain work in my work, and then release everything as CC-attribution. The only reason I’m not releasing the new work as public domain myself is because I’m vain, and while the goal is to set this stuff free, it’s the least I can do to get reports on derivative works, if any.So, that’s the news. Wish me luck. Better yet, go sign up for RPM ’08 and suffer with me.

Regardless, I am pretty sure that contemplation should be a part of this day, too, so today I’m contemplating Dr. King’s words. I found a copy of his “I Have A Dream” speech somewhere online a few months ago, and listened to the whole thing. It’s truly astonishing, and it occurred to me that I’d never heard the whole thing before, and probably neither had a lot of people. So, here’s the speech, in it’s entirety, and all I ask is that you stop what you’re doing and really pay attention to what he’s saying. Consider his message of integration and service, think about the people who have criticized this message, and ask yourself if you think his dream has been realized yet.

I would like to express my continual gratitude to Archive.org for this audio, and for existing in general. If you want the source file without me blathering on in the beginning, it can be found here.

Have a good Martin Luther King Day, everyone.

See that? In the header? That is my brain.

See this?

This is my brain, on drugs.

Any questions?