Self Help And Personal Development

Stephen Pierce Mind Mapping

2011-06-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

Learn how to remember and effectively apply what you read!

Weight Loss

2011-06-22T01:20:00.000-07:00

Every time you burn 3500 calories, you will lose 1 pound.

2000 steps equals one mile.

Your stomach is the size of your closed fist. You don't need to eat any more servings than this amount at one sitting.

Eating between 5 and 6 small meals per day will increase your metabolism.

Fiber expands in your stomach making you feel full and less hungry.

Limit carbohydrate intake as much as possible.

Misspelled Words On Ebay

2011-06-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

90% of auctions are found through the eBay's search. Most people do not search through the categories. So your auction title is the most important factor in attracting bids.

You only have 55 characters to work with, so each word must be chosen carefully.

Try to use all 55 characters.

Don't waste characters. Don't put L@@K! WOW! or CHEAP BARGAIN! in your description. No one will search for these words.

Let's say you want to sell Cinderella on DVD. You absolutely have to include "Walt Disney" in the title. This way you get twice as many customers. Anyone who searches for "Cinderella" and anyone who searches for "Walt Disney".

Include all and only relevant words you think someone would search for.

Include full names, not just last names. Clint Eastwood as opposed to Eastwood.

Spelling must be perfect. A word spelled incorrectly can cost you visitors, which will cost you bids.

Don't spend money on listing in a second category unless you are absolutely sure your item fits in both categories. Remember, most people do not search through the categories.

This works both ways. You want to maximize bids by improving your title description. There are people out there that don't know what they're doing. I have found great deals on eBay, because of poorly written description titles.

I came across a cool website. Find Typo.com searches for misspelled words on eBay.

Self help with Discount auto insurance

2010-05-27T00:10:00.000-07:00

You can’t live without auto insurance if you have a car. Auto insurance premium is a big expense in your budget and everyone looks for discount auto insurance to save on their premium. Given below are some techniques that would help you find discount auto insurance policies. You mightn’t be able to use all these techniques but using some or one of them would still be helpful.

Useful techniques for getting discount auto insurance :

Do some comparison shopping

The key to save money on your auto insurance costs is shopping around. Explore and compare the rates, coverages and benefits of as many insurers as you can.

Use auto debit facilities

Majority of insurers are now asking for fees for processing paper statements to you. You can avoid these types of charges by setting up an auto debit facility with your insurer where the premium would be automatically deducted from your savings or checking account.

Buy your policy soon

You might qualify for big discounts if you buy your policy 7 days before when it starts.

Make yearly payments

If you make monthly premium payments, car insurance companies might ask for a fee. Therefore, it is better that you make annual or half-yearly payments on your premium since you might qualify for attractive discounts

Undergo driver’s education courses

If you enroll in a safe driving education course, you might be eligible for discounted auto insurance policies. This course is self-funded for the first year and you can obtain a discount for 3 years. When the discount ends, you can enroll in another class.

Some companies implement an insurance credit scoring method. Despite the fact that this is not similar to the usual credit score, it is substantially dependent on your credit score. Therefore, if you can raise your credit score, this would help you save money. You can a decline a credit evaluation but you should ensure to inform the insurer that you don’t wish to participate in the credit scoring. This is recommended when you understand that you don’t have an excellent credit score. They would offer you a regular rate that is lower than their average rate but higher than the cheapest rate.

Getting discounts on your car insurance policy can definitely help you save a lot of money that you can use for other purposes.

Insurance Rates - A High Cost of Doing Business

2009-12-21T19:01:00.000-08:00

Insurance is part of managing risk. Premiums are paid to insurance companies in exchange for some pre determined type of coverage. Premiums can be looked at as a certain small loss paid to avoid a potential huge loss. Premiums are also known as insurance rates. Coverage is available for a variety of reasons. Some types provide protection form loss due to some type of liability. Others are offered as a benefit to employees. Some is typically provided by an employer such as health and worker’s compensation. Health insurance coverage for the employees of a company is often offered at most moderate to large size businesses. Companies also often offer life insurance. There also mandates for some coverage such as worker’s compensation.

Insurance is a necessity in this day and age. Figuring out what is necessary is often a puzzle for business owners. Health, life, liability and worker’s compensation are all potential needs. The business itself and the employees need to be covered. In so many cases it is not a luxury. It is simply a must have. This becomes problematic when an employer must somehow budget for rising insurance rates. Year to year, this line item is eating up more and more of the budget as a whole.

Insurance rates have been on the rise for the past decade or so. In the past nine years, the employer’s contribution to group plan health insurance premiums have nearly doubled. Those rates continue to rise at a rate of 12 to 14 percent annually. Companies are struggling to pay these premiums for their employees and are striving to find ways to lower costs. One way employers do this is by going with plans that have high deductibles. This means that the employee’s out of pocket costs are higher. Companies sometimes offset these out of pocket expenses through flexible savings or health savings accounts for their personnel. These accounts are called health reimbursement accounts.

The rising cost of insurance, especially health insurance has become a major cost of doing business. It is a determining factor in a lot of businesses no longer in business. Employees need it and employers want to provide it. Employer provided coverage is the only option for many families. They could simply not afford to pay the price for private payer family coverage. However the continual rise in insurance rates is making it cost prohibitive for many small, midsize and even large companies.

Success Achieving

2009-11-16T23:07:00.000-08:00

Write down your goals on paper and prioritize them. Keep it in plain sight, where you will see it every day. Write down everything! Thoughts become things.

Develop a system for everything you do. Keep notebooks.

Track your progress frequently (weekly or monthly). It will help keep you motivated.

Tweak your progress as you go along. If something isn't working, stop and change direction. If something is working, run with it. Constantly improve and evolve.

Write down a list of your obstacles.

Make it fun. You will become motivated.
Make it easy as possible. You will stay motivated.
Manage your time effectively.

Find a mentor or coach. Follow their advice. Learn from their mistakes.

Don't backpedal. Don't lose what you worked hard for.

Avoid Stress. It will cloud your judgment.

Don't give up and don't fear failure. Learn from it.

Be ethical. Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Study personal development. Buy self-help tapes, CDs and/or books of your favorite motivational speakers. Browse blog carnivals.

Take a college course.

Be anal retentive.

Ask yourself:

What has been working so far? Rinse and repeat.

What hasn't been working? How can I remedy this?

Why do I want to achieve this?

What will happen if I don't achieve this?

Who can help me?

Visualize yourself already having achieved the goal. Ask yourself: What steps did I take to arrive here?

Study Self Help

2009-11-15T23:37:00.000-08:00

There are many different ways to study self help and personal development.

You can watch and download videos on Google Video and Youtube using RealPlayer. Subscribe to your favorite videos so you can be notified of updates.

Here are my favorite motivational speakers I have subscribed to:

Eric Thomas “The Hip Hop Preacher”

Renegade Rat Racer

Self Growth

Khama Anku

Steve Pavlina

Success Television

The Stress Therapist

Sean Croxton

Xmas lights gone wild

2009-11-14T21:52:00.001-08:00

Mind Mapping By Stephen Pierce

2009-11-14T21:51:00.002-08:00

Learn how to remember and effectively apply what you read!

Fun Websites

2009-11-14T21:51:00.001-08:00

You Tube Find video of anything and everything.

Wikipedia The largest encyclopedia ever. It's not just about U.S. Presidents or dinosaurs. You can find information on current events, fictional movie characters, sports statistics and much much more. Just to name a few. This encyclopedia is created and edited daily by it's readers.

How many of me? How many people in the United States have you exact full name?

Pogo Free games where you can win prizes!

Guess the Dictator and/or Television Sit-Com Character Computer program which guesses what your thinking by yes or no questions.

This site lets readers post movie mistakes they find.

I was the 61st member when I joined celebrity death beeper.com. Now they have 15,000 subscribers! This site will e-mail you when someone famous passes away. Most of the time they are fast. I have received emails withins hours of a death. Go here to find out if you want to know if someone is still alive.

Make the Burger King chicken do whatever you want him to.

Make $20 An Hour On Ebay

2009-11-14T21:50:00.002-08:00

Here is what you will need:

1.) Turbo Lister - A listing tool you can download free from eBay.

2.) A high speed internet connection, such as Cable or DSL.

3.) A fast printer. You are not concerned with color quality, just PPM speed in black (pages per minute in black ink).

4.) 50 identical products you can sell easily and make at least $1 profit each (after eBay, Paypal and shipping fees).

Here is what you will do:

Create an auction in Turbo Lister describing one of the items. Make sure you are making at least $1 profit after expenses.

Right click the item and type in "duplicate". It will ask how many times and you will type "49". This is why all the items must be identical. (apprx. time 3 minutes)

Upload the items to eBay

Wait for bids.

After the auctions end, you will still need to ship the items. You can print and pay for the postage through Paypal. (apprx. time 2 hrs. 15 min.) In order to make $20 an hour, you can only ship products domestic mail. International will take more time if you have to fill out a customs form.

Add time for miscellaneous. Answering emails etc. (apprx. time 12 minutes)

This should figure out to $20 per hour. You could even hire someone and make more money per work hours invested.

Carnival of Home Business

Networking

2009-11-14T21:49:00.003-08:00

It's not what you know, it's who you know. The more contacts you have, the more access you have to resources you need. You can barter goods or trade services with others. Be creative.

Write down as many contacts as you can think of and add to that list daily.

Write down names, phone numbers, addresses and e-mails.

Write down how each person can be of help to you. Write down what they need and how you can help them.

How To Kill Fleas And Their Eggs

2009-11-14T21:49:00.001-08:00

My poor cat (Mrs. Tinkles) died last month due to a massive flea outbreak. Weeks after her death, we still had literally hundreds of fleas romping throughout the house. I spent a lot of money on the cheap stuff and the expensive stuff. We tried all different kinds of sprays, flea collars and powders. Finally, I found Hartz 3 in 1 home spray for $6 a bottle at Walmart. It smells like WD-40, but it works. The flowery smelling stuff doesn't work anyways. A few sprays of this on the carpets and rugs and fleas began to die left and right. Two weeks later, we are flea free. Make sure you buy the Hartz 3 in 1 home spray (pictured above). They have several bottles that are different but have similar labels. We tried the 2 in 1 dog spray, and it didn't work at all.

Zone Alarm Firewall

2009-11-14T21:48:00.001-08:00

You need this progam and it's free. Zone Alarm Firewall protects you privacy from hackers and gives you control of what enters and exits your computer. This should not be a replacement for virus and spyware protection.

Read my article on preventing spyware.

Be Anal Retentive

2009-11-14T21:47:00.001-08:00

Set up a system for everything you do.

Be anal retentive. An anal retentive person is someone who is obsessed with minor details.

I used to think this was a bad thing, until a co-worker told my I was anal-retentive. I was writing down a list of things I was going to do for that work day. This wasn't required of us by our boss. I chose to do this voluntarily. My friend said to me "Why are you doing that? This isn't rocket science." At first, I agreed with him. After all, he was more experienced then I was. However, I did notice one difference. He would be less prepared which caused him to be more stressed. Being anal retentive will help you to be more efficient and avoid obstacles. Eventually he changed his point of view and adopted my work style when he saw my day ran more smoothly and with less stress. Plan, stay organized and constantly improve.

Brainstorm. Continually think of new ideas. I have found I cannot brainstorm on cue. If I try, I will sit in front of my computer for hours with mental block. It's when I'm taking a shower or driving to the grocery store, my mind becomes flooded with ideas. That is why I always carry a pen and notepad with me everywhere I go.

Keep Unnecessary Programs From Starting in XP

2009-11-14T21:46:00.000-08:00

How to keep unnecessary programs from starting up in Windows:

Click Start
Click Run
Type msconfig and click ok
Go to Selective Startup
Then hit the tab marked Startup

These are a list of programs that startup automatically when you turn on your computer.

Keep any programs checked which keep your computer running safely and smoothly (virus-protection, firewall, spyware or pop-up blocker, etc.).

You may uncheck the programs you don't need running continuously (real-player, adobe, yahoo messenger). This will speed up your computer, and free up memory and system resources.

If you have Windows 98 : you MUST have the following boxes checked at all times:

General, Config.sys, Autoexec.bat, System.ini, Win.ini, and Startup.

If you have Windows ME (Millennium) you should have the following boxes checked at all times:

General, System.ini, Win.ini, Startup, Environment, International.

If you have Windows 95 or Windows 2000 go HERE to download msconfig before continuing.

The only programs you need checked are the ones which keep XP running safely and smoothly (virus-protection, firewall, spyware or pop-up blocker, etc.). You may uncheck the programs you don't need running continuously (real-player, adobe, yahoo messenger). This will speed up your computer, and free up memory and system resources.

If your'e not sure what the startup items are click here.

Google Adsense Increase Clicks

2009-11-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

1. Blend your AdSense color scheme with your blog's background. Try to make the font's of the webpage match the color and size of your adsense ads. Don't tamper with the adsense html code.

2. Fill your blog articles with keyword rich content that is related to your blog's topic.

3. Use site meter (a free service) to find out what Google searches your visitors are typing in to find your site.

4. Increase the amount of traffic to your website.

5. Make sure the ads being displayed are high paying.

How To Build Blog Traffic

2009-11-14T21:44:00.001-08:00

1. Content is the king, links are the queen and keywords are it's servants.

2. More optimized web pages = more search engine traffic.

3. Submit your best articles to StumbleUpon.

4. Politely ask other bloggers writing on your topic to trade links.

5. I use StatCounter (a free site meter to monitor web traffic to my blog). They have a "keyword analysis" page. It tells me what words visitors to my site are typing in the search engines. I then take those words and insert them in my URL, title meta tag, post title, the first sentence of my post and throughout the post.

6. I submitted my personal finance blog to PFBlogs.com; a large directory of financial blogs sorted by freshness. I get hits every time I update my blog with a new post.

7. I have successfully linked my blog to Wikipedia. They may delete your link. I have been denied once or twice, but if your site is geared specifically toward Wikipedia's content, you stand a chance of linking.

8. I submit daily to blog carnivals. A blog carnival is a blog that contains links to other blog articles covering a specific topic. Most blog carnivals are hosted by a rotating list of frequent contributors to the carnival, and serve to both generate new posts by contributors and highlight new bloggers posting matter in that subject area. If your articles are specific as possible to the carnival theme, visitors will click. Submit your site to blog carnivals as often as possible. Submit early and you're submission will likely end up at the top.

Google Adsense Higher Paying Ads

2009-11-14T21:43:00.001-08:00

Google lets advertisers bid on how much they want to pay per click. When someone clicks on your Google AdSense ads, you may only make a few pennies. You can filter out the low paying ads by going to http://www.adsblacklist.com/. This is 100% legal.

You want your articles to filled with high paying keywords that have the least competition. Use the Google Adwords Keyword Tool. This page will tell you what the average advertiser is paying for a specific keyword.

Enter the keyword or phrase into the keyword tool.
Check the "use synonyms" box.
Select "Cost and Ad Position Estimates"
and enter $100 under the amount you are willing to pay per click
Click "Get more keywords"
wait a few seconds...
Click "Estimated Avg CPC" twice

You now have a list of which words Google Adsense ads pay the most (on average).

Make Money With Google Adsense

2009-11-14T21:42:00.000-08:00

AdSense is a free service by Google. You can make money and earn an income using AdSense if you own a blog or website. Google will display advertisements on your web page. These ads are directly related to what your blog is about, thus visitors will be interested and likely click on them. Every click will make you money. All you have to do is supply the traffic. Google will pay you per click or per 1000 page impressions. A page impression is when a page is viewed by a visitor.

Eliminate Spyware

2009-11-14T21:41:00.002-08:00

Spyware is malicious software that advertising agencies download into your computer without your permission and it's legal!! This can happen when you visit certain websites, install software or download e-mail attachments. Once inside your machine, advertisers can monitor and collect useful information about you. This drains your computer's memory and slows down your internet connection.

I strongly recommend the following four programs. They are completely free and keep your computer running smoothly.

Ad-Aware Personal and Spybot Search & Destroy are excellent for spyware detection. They should be run weekly to find and remove any spyware already installed on your PC.

Spywareblaster prevents spyware infection before it happens.

CWShredder is freeware I run once a month. It kills hard to find spyware such as CoolWebSearch hijackers.

Make sure you keep your spyware removal and protection tools up-to-date before use.

These programs do not stop viruses. Make sure you have adequate virus protection in addition.

Ad-Aware SE Personal is a part of Google Pack. It has been downloaded over 216 million times as of October 7 2006. Version 1.06 was added May 27, 2005.

Spybot is one of the most recommended free spyware detection programs on the Internet.

Read my article on Zone Alarm Firewall.

Making Decisions

2009-11-14T21:41:00.001-08:00

Could the flutter of a butterfly's wing cause a tsunami on the opposite of the world? I am fascinated with the Butterfly Effect theory. It says that one event can affect another event, which affects a chain of events and may even lead to a large-scale phenomena.

I read a controversial book called Freakonomics. It suggested that the crime rate dropped between 1992 and 1995 because abortion was legalized in 1973. The authors of Freakonomics are saying that 18-24 year old males could not commit crimes between 1992 and 1995 because they were never born. I am not saying I agree or disagree with this allegation. I am saying this would be an example of the Butterfly Effect.

I was browsing through movie section in Blockbuster the other day, when I spotted a movie about the September 11th terrorist attacks. It made me begin to wonder. What if the attacks had never been carried out? It would have been impossible for the movie I saw in Blockbuster to have existed. So what movie would have been there in it's place? Would there have even been a movie there? Would there of even been a movie rack there? Is it possible the Blockbuster wouldn't even be there?

The point of this article is to show the importance of decisions. Like the Butterfly Effect, every decision you make affects a chain of events.

"You are the sum total of all decisions you have ever made." Myles Munroe

Ask yourself these questions:

How did I get where I am right now?
What events have taken place?
What events have not taken place?
If I had done a few things differently, where would I be right now?
If I make new, intelligent and committed decisions right now, where could I be?

Selp Help Advice For Staying In Love

2009-11-14T21:39:00.002-08:00

I woke up the other day and stared at my wife laying next to me, as I looked at her I remembered back to the day when we first met 22 years ago. As I stared into her face I noticed that I could still see the young girl I fell in love with all those years ago. I wondered to myself how much life had changed me to her, and if she could still remember how I looked when we first met. As I studied her face I noticed a few grey hairs, a few laugh lines that weren't there when we first met. I knew that I was probably the cause of a few of those worry lines that I could see now.

I thought to myself I have been in a war, spent a career as a police officer, and been injured I don't know how many times, and probably was not the easiest person in the world to love. But through all of this my wife never gave up on me, she was always there at the end. Hard days, sleepless nights, nothing could stop this women from loving me. So what was it that I had that made such a caring women put up with me? I was not the most handsome man out there, not the most intelligent either. But still she was there for me.

As I lay there I wondered about the other girlfriends that I had in my life time, would life have been the same if I had married one of them? would it have been easier? or harder?. But then I thought to myself that there was no one else that I could picture having walked down life's road with.
My wife opened her eyes then and looked at me, you look like you are thinking she said. No just looking at you I told her. Men you are so weird sometimes she said.
You have no idea I thought to myself.

As most people grow older together they forget the reason they are together in the first place. They lose track of what attracted them together.
never take for granted the person who has stuck by your side, we should always remember to take a moment to rekindle our love and keep it new. Love never grows old, it only gets greater with time. P.J Jellerson

Inteview with Vicki St. Clair

2009-11-14T21:39:00.001-08:00

I was lucky enough to interview Vicki St. Clair. She is a personal development speaker and host of "Conversations Live with Vicki St. Clair" on Seattle KKNW 1150 AM

Joe: Could you tell my readers a little about Vicki St. Clair? How and why did you become interested in self help and personal development?

Vicki: I was a senior corporate manager when I got interested in human performance development, for myself and for my team. It was liberating because I realized that none of us have to stay stuck with Popeye’s “I y’am what I y’am” philosophy, and that if we truly want to evolve personally and professionally, it’s all in our hands. When I left the corporate world, it was to pursue projects that I’m passionate about … and I’m passionate about trying to help others improve their lives, and making a difference, no matter how small that difference may be.

Joe: What personal development topics are your specialties?

Vicki: I’d sum it up as change and transition management, whether that’s leaving your home town, starting a new job, ending a relationship, or making behavioral changes in your own life. Many people fear change and that fear stops growth in all aspects of life.

Joe: I have heard from critics that personal development is only a "quick fix" and that motivational speakers only dispense positive thinking. Once the self help "high" has subsided, the problem still exists. What is your opinion?

Vicki: I’ve heard that too … and I think that depends entirely on the individual’s commitment to making change. And to some extent, the tools or program they follow. Some tools merely provide a band-aid for a problem; a permanent or long-term fix requires commitment to change … it becomes more of a lifestyle change.

Joe: Do you believe depression is curable without medication?

Vicki: Absolutely. Of course, it depends on the clinical evaluation of someone with depression, but many people have been significantly helped with alternative therapies such as cognitive therapy, hypnosis, spirituality, meditation etc.

Joe: What is addiction? Is it a weakness? What is the key to recovery?

Vicki: Tune in on Monday March 31 at noon PST… we’re going to discuss this very topic for the whole hour with Dr.’s Elisha and Stefanie Goldstein on Conversations Live with Vicki St. Clair. Dr. Stefanie Goldstein specializes in addiction and avoiding relapses.

Joe: Is overeating an illness? Is it always the persons fault? Do extremely overweight people just have low metabolism?

Vicki: I’m not an expert in the field, but to the best of my knowledge there are no hard scientific facts proving that overeating is an illness. Many people obviously have eating disorders, which are often the outward signs of emotional issues. But bottom line, it’s input versus output - the more calories we consume, the more we need to move. The less we move, the less calories we burn, and the slower our metabolism becomes.

Joe: How should parents discipline their children? Should they spank a misbehaving child or send them to timeout?

Vicki: I don’t believe in spanking.

Joe: What is the secret to motivation? Why are some people ambitious and others sit in front of the TV all day? Are motivation and will power the same thing? How can I become motivated to go to the gym every day?

Vicki: The first part of the word motivation derives from the Latin, to move / to take action. And when we take action, the brain releases chemicals that make us feel more motivated … which leads to more action … more motivation. How do you get motivated to make that first move? It all boils down to the pain/pleasure principle. Some folks are motivated by instant gratification (i.e. the instant, momentary pleasure of eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching T.V) and they don’t want to “pay the price” (the pain) of dragging themselves to the gym. Others are motivated by the long-term gain (the pleasure) that will come with being fit and healthy. They’re more likely to choose to skip the ice cream (which long-term will cause them the pain of weight gain) and go to the gym.

Joe: Will Smith is one of my favorite celebrities. The main reason is because everything he touches turns to gold. He is an accomplished rapper, comedian, sit-com star, and award winning movie star. How can someone become so successful in one area, let alone many different ones?

Vicki: He obviously has great natural talents as a performer. And it seems he has good business sense, or good business advisors. But I’ll bet he’s also extremely committed to personal and career growth, and that he’s one of the hardest-working people in Hollywood!

Joe: Michael Jordan is arguably the greatest basketball player of all time, yet he tried his luck at baseball and failed. Could he have used the same success formula in baseball that he used in basketball?

Vicki: Well … I know nothing about basketball and even less about baseball. We each have unique gifts and strengths, and while we can apply success formulas across the board, it doesn’t equate that we’re going to achieve the same level of success in everything we try. It sounds as though Jordan’s super-sized unique skill was basketball, not baseball.

Joe: What is the secret to happiness?

Vicki: Some people are more prone to happiness because of chemical make up. But for the majority of people, I really believe it’s down to choice. How we view the world, how we interact with those around us, how we spend our time at work and at play. How much we contribute, how involved we become. We ultimately choose how we show up in the world, and given that we have good health and a roof over our heads, I think we have a responsibility to ourselves to be happy.

Joe: What do you believe is the "meaning of life?" Do you believe in a Creator?

Vicki: I believe we are all works in progress, and to become our very best selves is as close as I can come to finding the meaning of life. I don’t believe in an omniscient creator; in an entity that sees all and has a plan for everyone. But I am spiritual. And I do believe in the power of nature. By that I mean that no matter how smart man becomes, or how superior we think we are, nature always has the final word.

Marriage: My Spouse My Friend

2009-11-14T21:38:00.001-08:00

I have been married for 21 years in a time when most marriages are measured in months. Friends have asked me what is the secret to a happy marriage, and I have to say that the first thing is marriage is not always happy.

I remember when I first met my wife at 16 I had no idea that we would be spending the rest of our lives together. But as time goes by you find that you become friends and lovers, and then pretty soon you realize that you are both so weird that no one else would put up with either one of you so your stuck together now.

The first few years of marriage are so supposed to be the hardest, but I don't think that's true, there are several times in your marriage that are going to be hard. It's how you handle the hard times that make or break you.

When you first become married you are truly in love, you both look the best and are attracted to each other, you spend every moment together and when you are not together you are thinking about each other.
It's a magical time when life seems so wonderful, and then the years start going by.

Job stress, life stress, and the disasters that seem to creep up in life come along and they test your marriage. You may already be in a bad mood when your spouse says something that sets you off and out comes all of the frustration that you have been feeling.
It may not have anything to do with you spouse but suddenly they are the focus of your frustrations.
This happens quite frequently with ever marriage, but when you calm down and realize that you made a mistake you now have to makeup for it.
These are the telling moments in marriage, you have to make up and move on without leaving hard feelings festering.

Stress in marriage is normal,there are several ways that you can help each other get through it and increase the quality of your marriage at the same time.

For instance if you were to notice that your spouse was having a stressful time at work you could try doing something special for them when they get home.
Spouse love surprises, it could be anything from a rose waiting for them at home or cooking a special dinner. Anything that you can do to take their mind off of their problem. Then later when you are both relaxed you might bring up the subject with them.
The more relaxed the environment is the more likely they will be to share with you their true feelings without holding back.
When taking with them if you notice that they start to become agitated about the subject then divert their attention away from the subject until they become calm enough to talk about it again.

Always let them know that they are the most important person in your life and that you want to work with them to get through problems. Anything that effects them also effects you. When you are happy, you are happy together, and when you are sad you are sad together. This is marriage, it's the bottom line to understanding each other.

PJ. Jellerson