The States of Mind

The Dazed Mind

2009-02-17T20:16:00.004+05:30

I've often wondered how it is, when I am unable to wonder. Such times are getting rarer. I think it is not just because I am able to 'think straight' more often, but also because I make a conscious effort to work, to overcome the obstacles on my way, to keep on trying, keep on enduring. The results may not be pleasant, but then how different were they earlier ? That thought is what doesn't let me down. I'm not me, this is not me, ...I told my doctor quite a few times, "And what is you? Is your arm you? Or your leg you? Is your stomach or your lungs or your kidney you?". The wholeness of the 'me' truly makes things a tiny bit more probable, even though they might not lift my spirits. Literary debates on such semantics, and philosophical debates on such profound thoughts would never ever reach a conclusion that can ultimately help calm a disturbed mind. For it doesn't need reason to calm it down, even though it is always seeking one. Logic, it seems, doesn't find place amongst the rationale. And along with my technical geekiness, the fact that "Artificial Intelligence can never beat natural stupidity" always makes me laugh :)

Lots of love and hopefully we won't keep you waiting for so long again!

At a loss...

2008-11-28T21:45:00.005+05:30

Someone breaks into your home and destroys all the things which had grown to become part of the familiar, comforting background of your house. Things painstakingly collected by you over the years to make your home look welcoming, things you associated with warmth and happiness. And then, someone uninvited barges in, knowing the value these things hold for you, and systematically destroys them, leaving you with numbness coursing through your body...

My city was ruthlessly broken into. The landmarks forming its history were destroyed. I am still shocked by the helplessness with which we looked at the carnage. I am disgusted by the apathy disguised by false 'resilience'. Coping and reconciliation with terror is still a long distance away. A small part wonders whether the terrorists too lost a precious possession that could only be replaced by human blood.....

Quirky reminiscences

2008-10-25T10:00:00.006+05:30

Strange, but I have actually been missing the crowded buses and trains, the pollution-filled roads and lack of greenery. The city does not seem like itself with so much of peace and quiet nestled amongst yellow-green foliage and squirrels rustling up the dried leaves strewn besides the trees. There's too much of calm around. My head misses that maddening buzz of the rush hour, of always being on the go. City-life has made me seek my peace in urban noises. Strange, very strange...

Maine Gandhi ko Nahin Mara

2008-10-21T04:32:00.000+05:30

With no idea whatsoever about this movie, I sat down with an open mind, with a slight hint that it might be on schizophrenia. The movie stirs you since the beginning, with Anupam Kher and Urmila Matondkar's acting bringing tears to my eyes.

The movie depicts Anupam Kher as a retired Hindi professor, slowly aging away into a non-specific diagnosis of dementia/pseudo-dementia and alzhiemers. The depiction of the illness is not only accurate, but emotionally touching in its performance. A must watch!!!

The Bullock Cart

2008-10-18T04:16:00.005+05:30

It's one of those days when you feel at peace with yourself and the world. The blissful serenity that had evaded your mind returns, and the cloudiness of anger and despair disappears. As usual, exams are around the corner, and so the anxiety plays peek-a-boo. The coolness of winters, and hordes of mosquitoes biting away to glory doesn't even match up to the regular thick pin blood tests, that have come out normal for once. Or maybe I'm just too happy to simply acknowledge the fact. Why, I have wondered often, does it seem as if treading along gets tougher, but then this bullock cart reminds me that I would rather be the bull and slog my way towards my destination. However, that must not be my destiny, as it would put an end to the greatest I might be able to achieve. Just a mere small stop for rest and replenishment for greater strength and courage. A life's dream come true. Just a tiny ceramic bullock cart it is. Very tiny... :)

On abusive relationships

2008-08-30T10:00:00.003+05:30

Lately I have been giving a lot of ponder to the reasons why some people keep getting into abusive romantic relationships. Its almost like they aren't able to gauge the the emotional tendencies of the other person...

I think that while every relationship has the potential to turn abusive, there might be certain signs that help ascertain whether this potential might be actualized. For one, the power dynamics in abusive relationships are covertly tilted towards one partner over the course of time. Demands made from and restrictions placed on a significant other emanating from feelings of suspicion or low self-esteem but cloaked in the guise of love serve to thwart the independence of the significant other. This in turn leads to emotional stifling and a constant fear related to displeasing the partner. Communication patterns might eventually be spiked by covert hostility, distrust, and lack of respect for the partner. I consider mutual respect as the mark of a healthy relationship, and if that is violated in any manner, then any potential positives of the relationship are beyond my comprehension. This lack of respect might be manifested by dismissing the significant other's opinions, frequent criticism and derision for their actions, and failing to take the other person's opinions into account while making a decision about the relationship, among other things. In fact. these tell-tale signs can sometimes become so glaringly obvious to a neutral observer that you would often wonder why the relationship still continues. Is it merely because the two people have become so used to this abusive pattern so that they don't realize it for themselves and break out of it? Or might it be possible that there is awareness of things gone awry, but adjusting to an alternative way of being seems tedious and unreal?

Any relationship ideally adds more dimensions to a person's life. But this addition would be possible only if there already exists a sufficiently strong base of self-assurance. To wish for another person to weave the magic wand and fill the emotional voids you possess could well turn out to be a wish gone horribly wrong. For both of you.

Quality Vs. Quantity ?

2008-08-29T11:57:00.002+05:30

The last post by SoaringHeights reminded me of how frail our mental health system is, not only in terms of the type of rehabilitation used, but also in the lack of any evidence of mental health system.

Over the years I've been blogging on mental health, I've come across many individuals who seek help (or sometimes I force them to). A couple of years back, I had a certain individual contact me with his suicidal feelings. I talked him into visiting a psychiatrist. There was none available near the place he stayed, and no helping hand to take him there. His self-evident psychosis made it all the more difficult for me to persuade him. We exchanged quite a few mails on this issue. We talked about other issues as well, about his ongoing studies. I sent him a couple of mails later, with no reply...

Another individual, who just tends to leave abusive messages on every blog I ever wrote on or still write, seriously needs psychiatric help for his, again, self-evident psychosis. I moderate all posts to maintain a healthy blog for all. I have made the sincerest efforts to push him for help. Not knowing his whereabouts, there's not much I can do. Against all my hopes, I do hope he doesn't end up stopping sending these comments...

With less than 4,000 mental health workers in India, mainly concentrated in the 5 metros, there's no scope for treatment for those just 100kms (<50 miles) outside these metros. The system in India, as I mentioned earlier, is much better in terms of quality but highly lacks in its quantity. And economics has a huge role to play in this. It becomes increasingly difficult for people outside the above-mentioned areas to pay for the consultation fee, leave alone the medication!

Beyond routines

2008-08-27T13:33:00.008+05:30

Reading through a newsletter edited by Puzli for a support group of families of people with mental illness, I was struck by the specificity of the questions regarding various aspects of caregiving raised by the participants. Most questions pertained to routine activities like hygeine which were perceived as struggles to be accomplished successfully. So much so that it seemed like the families had overlooked the need for rebuilding the foundations that provide fodder for regaining the emotional and spiritual integrity that often gets lost within the realms of the illness.

Contemporary methods of mental rehabilitation emphasize a linear path of achievement of routine milestones before nurturing of greater human needs. But might it be possible that many of us posses the capability of simultaneously attaining development in multiple arenas? So, instead of construing psychosocial rehabilitation as an addendum to the general agenda of medical rehabilitation, it would perhaps be wise to become aware of the strength of the subtleties lent by psychosocial rehabilitation which are so essential in contributing to the unique identity of every individual. Re-establishing these emotional and spiritual sensibilities can actually be a step towards re-integration of the hazy personal identities mired by mental illness.

About confidentiality and competence

2008-08-22T10:10:00.008+05:30

I am subscribed to an online group of counsellors and the posts range from job postings, to mental health trivia and information, to case discussions.

I remember being taught that one of the central tenets of a therapeutic relationship with a client was maintenance of confidentiality about the client's identity and disclosures. However, as we were still learning, we were permitted to have our case discussions with our supervisors and professors to gain a perspective. I now wonder the limits to which this exception in confidentiality is stretched. In the group I subscribe to, therapists often discuss cases to overcome roadblocks in case progression. And the responses range from ill-informed (sometimes dogmatic) opinions to those that serve to be genuinely helpful. Recently, there has been furor regarding the particularly graphic description of a sensitive case, and the exasperating part was that the original poster was quite oblivious about her gaffe. I don't know if this emanates from a lack of adequate training, or work ethic, or even both.

The current training at Masters level in Psychology over most of India is appalling in its lack of standards. The syllabus is redundant and the process towards achieving change is mired in bureaucracy. There is a severe shortage of adequate number of qualified and skilled professors to impart knowledge. Supervisors in field work are pressed for time and might not feel the sense of responsibility of overlooking the work of their juniors.

I believe that competence in practice of mental health should be governed by stringent qualifying criteria, so that the practice is not offered by all-and-sundry. Tackling the problem of incompetent mental health service delivery should begin from the grass-root level of competitive education and proceed upwards to competent training. Its high time consumers of mental health ask for accountability and competent service delivery.

Listing of NGOs working in the Mental Health Sector

2008-08-15T13:48:00.008+05:30

This state-wise listing is by no means comprehensive and neither do we personally guarantee the credibility of the institutions. Rest assured, they are working for all of us, and I hope they serve us well. We have made our best efforts to get the latest updated contact information. Take care!

Other Informative Sites

Search the website http://www.ngosindia.com and http://www.justdial.com, using keywords like “Mental Health” OR “Mental Illness” OR “Mental Disability” for state-wise listings of more NGOs/Help-lines/Psychiatric Institutions

Alphabetical (State-wise)

Andhra Pradesh

SEWA (Social Education & Welfare Association)

Address –

Kurmayapalli( V)

Budithireddipalli( P)

via: Yadamari, Chittoor(dist), Andhra Pradesh - 517422

Contact Info -

Mobile: +91-98854 15037

Email: vreddysatheesh@gmail.com

________________________________________________

BSRF - Byrraju Foundation

Address - Satyam Enclave 2-74, Jeedimetla Village NH-7, Secunderabad - 500855, Hyderabad (Andhra Pradesh) India
Contact Person - Dr. JOHNSEY THOMAS

Contact Info -

Phone Nos : +91-040-23191725, 23193881/82 (10 am - 4:00 pm)

Fax: +91-40-23191726
E-mail: mail@byrrajufoundation.org
Website - www.byrrajufoundation.org/

Byrraju Foundation
Address - Venkatraju Nagar , Near Youth Club, J P Road, Bhimavaram - 534 204, West Godavari (Dist)
Andhra Pradesh, India

Phone Nos: +91-8816-251340, 251360

Byrraju Foundation
Address - Bhatnavalli (v), Opp-KIMS Hospital, Amalapuram- 533 222, East Godavari (Dist), Andhra Pradesh, India

Phone Nos: +91-8856-233000, 253533, 230307

Byrraju Foundation
Address - Via Ponnur, Pittalavanipalem Mandal, Khazipalem- 522 329, Guntur (Dist), Andhra Pradesh , India

Phone Nos: +91-8643-258586

Assam

Ashadeep

Address - ASHA DEEP, Islampur Road, Gandhi Basti , Guwahati – 781 003, Assam, India

Contact Person –

Mukul Goswami: +91- 94350 43308
Anjana Goswami: +91- 98640 77861

Contact Info –

Phone Nos: +91-361-2666794

E-mail - societyashadeep@yahoo.com

Website - http://ashadeepindia.org

Chandigarh

AATMA SHAKTI KENDRA

Address (Regd. Office) - Karuna Sadan, Sector 11-B, Chandigarh, India

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-172-746160
Mobile: +91-98150-69700
Fax : +91-172-576900

E-mail : ask_chandigarh@rediffmail.com

Website : www.ChandigarhNewsLine.com/AskChandigarh

Delhi

Ashray Rehabilitation Home

Address - Singhu Border Road, Narela, Delhi – 110040

Contact Person – Dr. Gurmukh Singh, +91-9891260359

________________________________________

Caring Foundation

Address - 35 Defence Enclave, Vikas marg, New Delhi – 110092, India

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-011-43666666

Fax: +91- 011-22524726

E-mail: Caringfoundation95@yahoo.com

___________________________________________

Mental Health Foundation India
Address - RZF-766/41, RAJ NAGAR, PART-II, GALI NO. 6, PALAM COLONY, New Delhi - 110 045

Contact Person - Dr.Nand Kumar
Phone Work - 26166596 (6 t0 8 pm)
Phone Cell - 9899943146 (6 to 8 pm)

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91- 9899943146 (office time)
E-mail: indiamhf@yahoo. co.in
Website: www.mhf.org.in

Gujarat

Athma Viswas Sansthalay (Half-way Home)

Address – Behind Swami Narayan English School, Sona Sarita Society, Manibaug, Dharampur Road, Valsad, Gujarat – 396001

Contact Person –

Bipin Milia (Trustee): +91-022-26702755 (R), +91-022-26205530 (O), +91-9821537662

Sonia Mackwani (Managing Trustee): 65162697, +91-9221339756

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-2632-226355

E-mail: bipinmilia@hotmail.com

_____________________________________________________

Andhjan Kalyan Trust

Address – Behind Jain Derasar, Station Plot, Dhoraji - 360 410, Rajkot, Gujarat , India

Contact Info –

Phone: +91-2824-223502
Fax: +91-2824-223502

E-mail – aktrust@sancharnet.in, info@aktrust.org

Website: http://www.aktrust.org/

Karnataka

Athma Shakti Vidyalaya Society

Address - No. 113, Madhuban Colony, Hulimavu Village, BANGALORE - 560 076, India

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-80-6581 564 / +91-80-6585 292

E-mail: frhanknunn@hotmail.com

_________________________________________________

The Richmond Fellowship Society

Address - 'ASHA' 501, 47th Cross, 9th Main, V block, Jayanagar, Bangalore - 560 041, Karnataka

Contact Person - Dr S. Kalyanasundaram

Contact Info -
Phone Nos: +91-80-26645583, 26346734
Email: rfsindia@vsnl.com
Website: http://www.rfsindia.org

Madhya Pradesh

Samarpan - Samarpan Care Awareness & Rehabilitation Centre
Address - 8, Narayan Bagh, Indore – 452 004, Madhya Pradesh

Contact Person - Mr. Avinash Bhatheja
Phone Work - 4965560 (10-4)
Phone Cell - 09827740999 (10-6)

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-0731- 4965560 (10 am - 5 pm)
E-mail: samarpanindia@ yahoo.co. in, info@samarpanindia.org
Website – http://www.samarpanindia.org

Day Care Centre - Arpan

Address - 18-B Navratan Bagh, Indore- (M.P.)

Phone Nos: +91-731-4046336

Half Way Home - Aasra

Executive Office: 61, Dhar Kothi, Indore- (M.P.)
Phone Nos: +91-731-2710931

Maharashtra

Alzheimer's & Related Disorders Society Of India-ARDSI

Address - ARDSI,Mumbai Chapter,Room No - 27, BMC School Bldg,2nd Floor, J J Hospital Compound, Byculla, Byculla (E), Mumbai – 40008, Maharashtra

Contact Nos -

Phone Nos: +91-022-23742479 (11 to 4)

E-mail: sailesh2000_2000@yahoo.co.uk, drshirin@rediffmail.com

Contact Person - Dr.Shirin Barodawala

Phone Work - +91-23513253 (9 to 5)

Phone Cell - +91-9820074476 (10 to 4)

____________________________________________

ANAND REHABILITATION CENTRE

Address - Vidula Apartment, Ram Laxman Marg, Panchal Nagar, Near ST Bus Stand, Nallasopara (West),
Taluka: Vasai, Dist: Thane 401 203, Mumbai, Maharashtra

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-2414145 / 2415555 /code from Mumbai-95250-STD Code: 0250

A PROJECT OF
PROMPT CARE INTERNATIONAL FOUNDATION

Address - 8/203,204, Liliyangar, off S.V.Road, Near Kamat Club, Goregaon (West) Mumbai 400 062, Maharashtra

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-28748043

Fax: +91-28757051

Email: pcif@vsnl.com

Website: www.pcif.org

__________________________________________________

Shraddha Rehabilitation Foundation

Registered Office

Address - Shraddha Manosarovar, Behind Shanti Ashram, Opposite Eskay Resorts, Off New Link Road, Borivali – West, Mumbai-400103, Maharashtra, India

Contact Info –

Phone Nos: +91-22-28955020 / 28915451 / 65852628

REHABILITATION CENTRE

Contact Person – Dr. Bharat Vatvani

Address – Vangaon Village, 2 kms from Karjat Station, Karjat (East), Raigad, Maharashtra

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-99230 76947 / +91-02148-202741

E-mail - svatwani@hotmail.com, doctors@shraddharehabilitationfoundation.org

____________________________________________

MBA Foundation
G.O.D.S’ HEAVENS

Address - Crystal Palace Complex, Rambaug, Powai, Mumbai 400 076, Maharashtra, India

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-2857 6972 / 2570 2018
Tele-Fax : 2857 4456.
Email : crbmanian@lifeCare-disabled.org, lifecare.disabled@gmail.com
Website: www.lifecare-disabled.org

DAY CARE CENTERS

G.O.D.S SMILES

Address - C 1/1, Jeevan Naiya Co-op. Hsg. Society, Behind Telephone Exchange, Chembur Naka, Chembur, Mumbai – 400 074

Contact Info -
Phone Nos: +91-22-25234752

ROTARY G.O.D.S GIFT
Address - Rotary Club of Thane North End, Khopri Bridge, Thane East

Contact Nos -
Phone Nos: +91-22- 69956878

________________________________________________

Silver Inning Foundation

Address - Mumbai, India

Contact Info -

Tel: +91- 99871 04233

E-mail: info@silverinnings.com

Website - www.silverinnings.com

Contact Person - Sailesh Mishra , Founder President

_______________________________________________

Dilaasa – Self-Help Support Group

Address – Masina Hospital, Byculla, Mumbai (Dr. Matcheswala’s Counseling Center)

Contact Person –

Prashant Pednekar: +91-9920644723

Jatish Shah: 9819533496

Contact Info –

Phone Nos: +91-022-64507171

E-mail: Shah_jatish@hotmail.com

_______________________________________________________

Kiran Mental Health Association (Schizophrenia Support Group)

Phone Nos: +91-022-22671744

____________________________________________________

Bapu Trust (Pune)

Contact Person - Ms. Bhargavi Davar/Puja

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-92255 20464, +91-020-26837644/647

E-mail Address: bvdavar@gmail.com

Website: www.camhindia.org

Center for Advocacy in Mental Health

Address - Kapil Villa, Plot no. 9, Survey No. 50/4, Kondhwa Khurd, Pune-411048

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-020-26837644/47
Email: wamhc@dataone.in, info@camhindia.org

______________________________________________________

Institute for Psychological Health-IPH

Address - 9th Floor, Shree Ganesh Darshan, LBS Marg, Between 3 Petrol Pumps & Hari Nivas Junction, Naupada, Thane (west). 400602. Maharashtra, India

Contact Person - Mr.Prasad Dabholkar
Phone Work - 25366577 (9 to 5)

Contact Info -

Phone Nos: +91-022-2543 3270 / 2536 6577 / 2542 8183 / 98702 96694
E-mail: iph@healthymind. org, maitra@healthymind.org
Website: www.healthymind.org

Incomplete / Unconfirmed Info -

Chitanya Mental Health Care Centre
Address - 25 Pitruchaaya Laxmi Park Colony, Navi Peth, Pune - 411030
Contact Info -

Chaitanya Mental Health Care Centre

Address - #9, Samalka Park, Kondhwa Budruk, National Institute of Bank Management, Pune-411048

Orissa

PEOPLE'S FORUM

Address - 44-Dharma Vihar, Khandagiri Sqr, Bhubaneswar, Orissa,India-751030

Contact Info -

Phone Nos : 0674- 2384594 (9am -6pm)

Tel/Fax: 06742351688

E-mail: peoplesforum@hotmail.com

Website: http://www.missionashra.org

Contact Person - Mr.Gobinda Pattanaik
Phone Work - 2384594 (9am-6pm)
Phone Cell - 9437282034 (6am-9pm)

Rajasthan

Ma Madhuri Brij Varish Seva Sadan

Address - Achnera Village, Bajhera, Bharatpur – 321001, Rajasthan, India

Contact Person - Dr.B.M. Bhardwaj
Phone Work - 05644-224694 (Any time)
Phone Cell - 9414714493

Contact Info -
Phone Nos: +91-5644- 224694 (10am - 6pm)
E-mail: mmbvss@gmail. com
Website - www.mmbvss.org

Tamil Nadu

Anbaham - Trust for education and rehabilitation of disabled orphaned destitute
Address - ANBAHAM, vichoor main road,vichoor, Chennai – 600103, Tamil Nadu

Contact Person - Mr.mohammed rafi
Phone Cell - 09444009988 (9-19 hours)

Contact Info -
Phone Nos : +91-044- 25015165 (11-12.noon)
E-mail: anbagam.org@ gmail.com, vinodcv@hotmail. com
Website: www.anbaham.org

___________________________________________________

Schizophrenia Research Awareness Foundation (India)
SCARF

Address – R-7A North Main Road, Anna Nagar West (Extn.), Chennai 600 101, Tamil Nadu, India

Contact Info –

Phone Nos: + 91-44-2615 3971, + 91- 44-2615 1073

_________________________________________________

The Banyan

Address – 6th Main Road, Mugappair Eri Scheme, Mugappair west, Chennai-600037

Contact Info –

Phone Nos: +91-044–26530504 / 45548350 / 51 / 52
Fax: 044 – 26530105

THE BANYAN CENTRE

Address – 18/55 Vinobaji Street, opp Kamaraj 4th Street, Gandhi Salai, Choolaimedu
(Take road opposite Bata Showroom on Nelson Manickam Road, adjacent to Pantaloons.
5th right, 1st left, 1st right)

Contact Info –

Phone Number: 42233666

BALM
Banyan Health Centre,

Address – 2/242, Pillayar Koil Street, Kovalam Village, Kancheepuram – 603112

Contact Info –

Website - www.thebanyan.org

_________________________________________________________

Trust Shantivanam

Contact Person - Dr. K.Ramakrishnan, c/o The Athma Mind Centre and Institute of Neuro-Psychiatry

Address - 12B, 10th Cross East, Thillainagar, Trichy, Tamil Nadu - 620018

Contact Info -

Phone: +91-431-2741529, +91-9894722221

E-mail: krk.trust@gmail.com

Website: http://www.trustshanthivanam.org/

West Bengal

Anjali

Address - P-23, Darga Road,Park Circus, Kolkota – 700017, West Bengal

Contact Person - Ms. Ratnaboli Ray
Phone Work - 22903711 (11-5 pm)
Phone Cell - 98311823981 (11-5 pm)

Contact Info -
Phone Nos: +91- 033- 22903711 (11-5pm)
E-mail: anjali_mhi@vsnl. net
Website: www.anjalimentalhealth.org

Quick Update

2008-08-13T01:35:00.003+05:30

We are busy working and compiling, and shall soon be posting a list of NGO's working in the Mental Health sector in India, hopefully by the 16th of August. Hope it helps those who need mental health assistance like day-care centers, and rehabilitation centers especially for the elderly.

The listing will be in a new post, accessible through a new "NGO's" label, as well as the "Links" section in the sidebar.

Take care and all the best! :)

அந்நியன் (தமிழ்) / अपरिचित (हिन्दी) / Aparichit

2008-07-15T22:06:00.006+05:30

This movie talks about what was formerly known as split-personality, or multiple-personality disorder, but is now known as dissociative identity disorder. The reason for this is that there are different traits of perception and response in a single individual in different circumstances than otherwise highly distinct personalities. This condition is very rare and there have been only 50 documented cases worldwide. As the name of the movie suggests, "Aparichit" in Hindi literally means "someone who has not been introduced to himself".

The protagonist in this film is a lawyer, who is shown to be a brutal murderer according to sacred Tamil texts of punishments given in hell (please correct if I'm wrong - no offence), and a lovey-dovey lover in another personality. The film is in Tamil, although I've watched it in Hindi as I do not understand the former language. The cinematography is surreal with time freeze done a couple of times.

The biggest mistake in this film is that the protagonist's E.E.G. was not done during evaluation, and he shows a lot of eye movement in the murder scenes, both of which could suggest epilepsy. Also, the suggestions for improvement of the patient made by the doctor are to some extent nonsensical and unprofessional. That aside, the film truly depicts dissociative-identity disorder.

P.S. - Not for the faint-hearted

The subjective quality of being 'normal'

2008-06-08T05:30:00.000+05:30

I've pondered over this many a searching afternoon, "What is normal? How do you define normal?" The problem is in that the word implicitly defines itself subjectively. The collective have determined the existence of being on top of that bell-shaped 'normal distribution curve', as it is statistically taught to mental health professionals. (I'm sure SoaringHeights can expand on that a bit). I have no egotistical problems with the definition, neither of being part of the elite, nor being unable to function like them. The problem starts when I'm not able to function according to the standards of the society, or rather, the standards of the acceptable 'normals' in the society.

I don't think that the following example encompasses the complete dimension of human ability, but I do try to touch upon a thought that might stir your thinking. I'm a computer science student, and I recently had to give a viva exam in AI (Artificial Intelligence). Knowing and believing certain things did help me score well. Artificial Intelligence is a field of computer science that is trying to make machines intelligent. Well, that seems perfectly reasonable ambition on a first glimpse. The problem, however, is not as much in technology or ethics, as it is in the fact that we don't have a definition of what is intelligence! We have people thinking differently, and acting differently. They are not always rational, not always logical. Try quantifying how and why 4 people with 100% scores in their final maths exam are not equally intelligent, and I hope you see the extent of the problem. Intelligence is an ability, to so 'something'. What that 'something' is we don't yet fully understand. It might be analytical ability, the ability to be empathetic, or simply the ability to perceive vision correctly, if a thing like that does exist.

I come back to my question of what is normal. We don't have an objective answer. That makes me wonder of a world full of schizophrenics who are able to survive nicely and "help" the minority who are not able to see the "truth"!

तारे ज़मीन पर (Stars on Earth) - Movie Review

2008-06-05T07:27:00.003+05:30

A international blockbuster, this Indian movie in Hindi shows an artistic kid 'Ishaan', who is unable to cope up with studies and is sent to a boarding school after he bunks school. A new art teacher realizes that he has dyslexia and helps by tutoring him personally with appropriate teaching methods. The movie shows the complex family dynamics present in an Indian society and the impact of the presence of a 'different learning ability' in one of its members. (I would stress on it not being a learning 'disability' due to the same reason of 'normal' being subjective.)

The roles have been played very well, and the depiction of the illness is accurate. It's a movie that leaves few without tears. A worth watch!

The teacher is played by Aamir Khan and is also directed by him. More info can always be found on www.wikipedia.com

Rain Man - Movie Review

2008-06-03T06:35:00.004+05:30

Directed by Barry Levinson, and starring Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman, this film portrays Dustin Hoffman with autism, having an excellent memory but who cannot understand anything that is subjective. The 'normal' brother played by Tom Cruise leaves you on the edge with the bitterness he has against his family and how he finds out that he has a brother who is institutionalized. The story unwraps with a bonding between the uncaring and selfish Tom Cruise, and the autistic Dustin Hoffman.

The movie is a classic example of the fragility of human relations, and how the understanding of the illness and empathy towards the one with it can help in bonding, though the bonding has been shown to develop abruptly only after Tom Cruise makes money in a casino with the help of his unknowing able brother!

The roles have been played excellently, although SoaringHeights is more in a position to discuss the accuracy of the depiction of the illness.

The movie won 4 Oscars at the 61st Academy Awards for the Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay, Best Director, Best Actor in leading role for Dustin Hoffman, along with 4 other nominations.

Individual Freedom

2008-06-03T04:38:00.007+05:30

I would agree with SoaringHeights that this question does leave us a lot to ponder upon. What has been traditionally regarded as 'right' or 'wrong', or what has developed into so called 'morality' has been a result of collective individual beliefs. The conception of such a relative term by such a vast majority from their subjective beliefs has major, and sometimes horrifying implications for the minority.

My 'right' is my 'right', and mine alone. I should not impose it by force on any other being for whom my 'right' is 'wrong'. The same goes for the collective right. A perfectly justified statement, for peaceful coexistence, I believe. That sends democracy down the drain, doesn't it? How can we, as each individual in a system, have a peaceful independent existence when we are willing to sacrifice for living in a collective, as in a country, by giving legal power to the majority?

Morality, as follows from the subjective 'right', paves way for what is good for the collective. A fight for a cause is a fight for a social cause. That cause is justified by a 'right'. It may impinge on an individuals' freedom from being the individual's wrong. As a personal example, I was forced by my parents to drink milk, for my good health, even though I felt sick in the stomach, till I revolted. I later found out that I have lactose intolerance. The damage was under control. I knew that my parents had only tried to help me.

The old man had been given multiple ECT's throughout his life based on the caregivers' consent alone, leaving him frail in mind and soul in the later years of his life. Had I been that old man, I would have asked the same question, "Why did you do it?".

Surprises in niches

2008-05-20T03:00:00.001+05:30

Smoking the local brand of cheap cigarette and wheezing between puffs, a sprightly middle-aged gentleman who'd give any rock star a run for his money while sifting through strands of philosophy and physics in his ragged clothes and smack-cheap plastic slippers slipped this food for thought to me some time back: "....I have long abandoned judgments of right and wrong and morality. I'd rather ask 'Why did you do it?'...."

Now, if people would expand the dimensions of thought, life would seem so uncomplicated just due to this one statement....interesting ponder, isn't it?

A quick update

2008-05-18T01:23:00.003+05:30

Hello all! Its been a very long time that either of us has put up a post, but things have been tumultuous lately. Puzli has been going through a rough patch of mood over the past two months....worse that he has been since I got to know him. Almost each day of the last one month has been laced with anxieties and frustrations, with the depression casting a pall across all dimensions. Reasoning, rationalizing helped only to some extent, but we felt defenseless against that unknown biology that had gone haywire. Its been quite a task to snap out of it, but when it did occur, the solution seemed really simple....we harkened back to our basic beliefs about each other...and they seemed antithetical to the ones suggested under the dull gray of the pall. There continue to be dips, but its much much better now. The sun's shining pleasantly for the moment.

The law and mental illness

2008-04-28T10:06:00.004+05:30

I recently attended a workshop on rights for the mentally ill organized by Bapu trust and gained a refreshingly unique (and much needed) human rights perspective to mental health which should have been at the core of my involvement with patients. It served as quite an eye opener about the subtleties of power play in psychiatric care that resulted in human rights violation; I plan to address these in a future post. More importantly, I came to know that India has ratified the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD), and this convention shall come in effect in India from May 14th, 2008. I recommend that you go through the CRPD here. The CRPD is unique as it takes the person affected by the disability as the pivotal person whose opinions matter over and above the opinions of the professional treating the affected person. While people affected with disability cannot move court under the CRPD, it can be used to humanize care and better mental health facilities. So here's to the hope of a better tomorrow!

Skeptical alternatives

2008-04-13T00:03:00.007+05:30

Alternative approaches to psychiatric conceptualization of mental health have often been regarded with suspicion. And rightly so, many might say. After all, do they not take our tangible problems of mental health and expand them to intangibles like spirituality, one-ness with the universe and what have you? Karma, nirvana, etc., etc., and the whole baggage associated with it, as Puzli has written. There are such diverse views towards mental health, that sometimes you really do wonder what is it about psychiatry that makes it the unanimous king? Is the dominance of psychiatry in the field of mental health self-assumed? This self-proclaimed dominance may be partly explained because psychiatry provides you with an impersonal explanation of your problems (read genes and neurochemistry), sieves them to the resin of tangibility, and serves up the solution, all ready! So obviously, until alternative mediums of mental health do not demonstrate their efficacy like psychiatry has, and do not offer a concrete solution to fuzzy problems, these alternatives will be regarded by many a skeptic as nothing more than the latest fashion statement. But though scientific proof is extremely desirable, its it always necessary to effect a cure? My next post about placebo effects will attempt to answer this question.

Until such alternative approaches come about to account for the multi facets of human nature, I continue to rely with discontent on my psychiatric blinders ....

Karma

2008-04-12T19:17:00.004+05:30

Another set of exams over. A lot of stress and extreme, prolonged depression, and being affected to the extent of not brushing my teeth, leave aside the non-existent bathing, had made me just lie down on the bed the whole day, and it has been only the constant pushing and effort on SoaringHeights part that I have been able to do well in the exams.

What is it that makes me depressed? My friend has been asking me that, and always got a reply from me that it's the chemicals in the brain. He refuses to believe. He has been practicing Nichiren Daishonin's buddhism, the Lotus Sutra, for some time, in which I had also been introduced some years ago. He came yesterday to talk about it. He talked about the basis of buddhism, Karma, how life is all about cause and effect, pure consequence. I listened patiently, albeit in slight amusement, but with respect for his views. He explained how we bring our baggage of negative karmas or bad deeds with us, and how we have to redeem them to get rid of them. This, he explained, cannot be done by trying to run away from it. You cannot get "rid" of problems by choosing 'flight' all the time. You have to choose 'fight'. However may you fare, it will be tough and may not be what you really long for, but the practice of buddhism will help make this process simpler for you. He talked about how there are negative forces that prevent you from performing well. This may be fear, anxiety, anger, greed....You have to work all the time to make sure that you keep on gaining positive deeds, as life is a process, and hence dynamic. It keeps on changing, your interactions with people and objects will keep on changing. You have to keep on making sure you don't accumulate negative karma! I shared with my friend that I do get anxious as I feel I cannot face my things in life, and I keep running away, postponing studying for exams, till it comes back with increased intensity. This fear holds me back. That is the negative force that holds me back. As my dad says, "Everybody has to live, eat and drink, it's up to you how tough you make it on yourself".

SoaringHeights has had a problem of putting off discussing things out as it seems futile to do so. Things accumulate, ending with her getting upset, angry, and irritated on others. I told her how she should clarify things with her peers as they come. If something goes wrong later, if someone accuses her, if someone talks rudely with her, she would know that she tried her best, she would feel bad but wouldn't lose her temper since she knows she had given it her best.

I'd been pretty rude with SoaringHeights. I told her that I feel I can't talk to people as they would be angry with me! It wouldn't seem surprising when people couldn't comprehend my accusing paranoid delusions. But now I'm fine. Also, I feel that people know what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, so I don't need to talk. That's a remnant from my paranoid and delusional past, of knowing that people can understand my actions and reactions. They know what I'm thinking as they can look in my mind. I've to therefore, protect myself from my enemies, be careful to speak around people. Interesting, that it silently remains after such a long time...

Responsibility & Grandiosity

2008-03-27T19:37:00.004+05:30

The Hindi blog has been set up to quite an extent, certain details still being on hold. With the introduction of SoaringHeights and I, it's all set to blast its way through to the confines of stigmatization of our true nature, of the human spirit. It took me quite a while to come back and post, the reasons being multiple, attributable to lack of time and mood, however, none an excuse for the commitment to the need of this blog.

I've had, I realized, being giving my illness as an excuse for not being able to fulfill the commitments towards SoaringHeights, only after, yet again, being prodded repeatedly to pull the string with which I'd tied myself and SoaringHeights down deep in the quicksand. I'm also, I must say, harsh upon myself. However, SoaringHeights has been with me and helped me stand up, and the time has come where I have to realize to commit myself to the responsibility I undertook.

A very frantic semester ends next month with the beginning of exams. A small set of sessionals next week. Depression gradually lifting.

Sat down with a friend for coffee, quite a few cups, in the summer heat and dry winds, discussing as we usually discuss life till the day ends. He has been, since the beginning, very probing into the elements of human nature, an excellent methodology, beautiful outcomes at times, however, a sense of grandiosity clouds him. He cannot discuss his ideas with anyone around him, his family, like any other, jokes and lightens up the dinner table, and do not feel the need or urgency for his conversations, neither can he comprehend theirs. The urgency of, the need to end this search, this inquisitiveness is not finding its fruition. He talks of how people like me are up there with him, while others can't understand, think, and comprehend. He cannot I feel channelize his thoughts, and as the geeks we are discuss, there is input but no output, the feedback loops amplify the thoughts to such an intensity that we become vague and distant to the world. In the case of schizophrenia, the grandiosity deluded me to an extent as above.

As you might see, I'm just trying to cut down the elements and observe them from a microscopic level, only to find that it's all human nature. The elements of the illness themselves are present in their subtle forms in human thought, behavior, and belief. I'm after all, human. What we can do is realize that there are things other than these thoughts that are important too, things that need more attention rather than just pushing ourselves towards the end of all knowledge culmination. These are the things that make life go on, that make us healthy, that beautify our relationships. And these things include talking to your loved ones, smiling with them, laughing with them, helping them weep their sorrows away. We are all different, we are all human :) Lots of love

P.S. - As SoaringHeights says, and I improvise, "Take personal responsibility for yourself and towards others."

Extracting meaning

2008-03-27T11:53:00.010+05:30

In my last post, I sketched the uncertainty of confused identities that often follow as the after-drift of mental illness. However, does it have to be true that such experiences are to be construed in negative shades? Might it be possible to somehow extract meaning from these seemingly awry life experiences?

All illnesses can be construed as adverse life events that force a person to confront his darkest fears. Many a times, the choices that come with it are stark: waste away with the illness, or fight back to reclaim your life. Being faced with an illness provides an opportunity to call upon your latent grit and abilities; they provide new perspectives to view situations, they give you unique insights into your resilience, and your will to survive through. Those who survive often emerge stronger, wiser. As Puzli puts it, "....So I stand stronger in pain."
Dealing with a mental illness may leave you exhausted. But along the way of battling through, it might surprise you with an unexpected opportunity for self-discovery. You might regard with wondrous confusion the alternate truths that challenge your cherished beliefs; you might also be astonished to discover the true potentials of your mental capacities! Each of our life experiences are unique and we often tweak them to extract our own highly personal, idiosyncratic meanings. So, it might just be possible that the path of mental illness and its many-hued experiences add an unusual, enriching flavour to your life.

Between the folds of the illness

2008-03-01T00:33:00.004+05:30

Wandering through the labyrinths, I barely notice that subtle element which I carry away with myself, and this silently grows to become an integral part of me...

The name of the labyrinth is mental illness, and the essence of many wanderers' identities often becomes embedded within it. Puzli would often express anguish over the fact that he did not know what his true self was. After 12 years of illness, he did not know how to piece the fragments together to thread his identity. Which were the memories to be reclaimed? Who was the owner of the myriad tangent thoughts that shot through his mind? How many of his past beliefs were due to the illness? Puzli has swayed back to his memories of himself before the illness claimed his mind, he tried identifying himself with emotions left completed 12 years back. But he also realized their incongruity to the present. The present has given Puzli an opportunity to carefully flex his capabilities, and in doing so, launch the path of rediscovering himself. It will always continue to be a tough path to pave, but he can already see the rising sun in the horizon.
I have experienced that over time, sufferers of mental illness often construe their identity in dominant shades of their diagnosis, and the stigma suffocates them further into the recesses. The real person is lost somewhere between the folds. It can be a scary prospect to leave behind the comfort of this identity to begin the search for the uniqueness that sets you apart as an individual. It continues to be tough for Puzli to shed the elements of his illness from his identity, but I am always amazed by his resilience.
The shadow of mental illness still lingers on lightly, but it does not scare us now.

हिंदी में 'द स्टेट्स ऑफ़ माइंड'

2008-02-27T21:24:00.005+05:30

हमने इसी विषय पर इसी नाम का हिंदी में ब्लॉग अलग से बना लिया है - 'मॅन की स्तिथियाँ'। यह उन लोगों केलिए खास तौर से है जिनको अंग्रेज़ी समझने में दिक्कत होती है, परन्तु मनोरोग के बारे में जानना चाहते हैं.

सोअरिंग-हेईघ्ट्स की हिंदी काफी कमज़ोर है, इसीलिए मैं ही इस नए ब्लॉग पर लिखूंगा। परन्तुसोअरिंग-हेईघ्ट्स की सर्व-दृष्टि इस ब्लॉग में भी पुरी तरह से मौजूद रहेगी।

इस ब्लॉग का पता है -

मन की स्तिथियाँ

आशा है आप सबको इससे फैदा होगा। हमें खुशी होगी अगर आप सब अपनी विशेष टिप्पंदी हन्में दें।