The Book of Why is Lost at Sea

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:24:00 +0000

It's one of the tenets of self-help, "pull yourself up," personal self-esteem talk that one should not be worried about what other people think, either in the context of doing something stupid or in general concern about constraining your actions based on the opinions of others, because most people are too busy thinking about themselves and their own issues.

What if, though, if being concerned, or speculating, or imagining, or other contemplative gerund, is what makes someone prone to be a writer? What if thinking about what other people are doing, thinking, etc., is one of the ways one can intuit that they should be putting stories to paper, or on video, or otherwise getting them out to the world? And what a double edged sword to be a person who is often thinking about what other people are thinking, projecting that they might be doing the same and therefore caught up in a spiral ("Spiral out!") of "What are they thinking? And is it about me?"

And can I assume this is so, and that I can use that as a lever under me to write more and/or whole things and not just the fragments that litter my hard drive and file boxes? Hmm.

~Noelle

I got nothin'

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Wed, 18 May 2016 22:29:00 +0000

I really, really, really want to put up a blog post today - I had a breakthrough at work; I'm feeling pretty good; my children are all in a stable place today; I've got plans for the night with Neuf and some coworkers I like; and I'm feeling pretty zen thanks to Leo Babauta.

However, as I start to write, I just feel like there isn't anything new and revelatory to put on the page. (Note: I've spelled "revelatory" correctly, but the spell checker doesn't like it. They need to update that. I guess I should be happy that they know what "archaic" means. [Subnote: if you get that book and movie reference, I will buy you lunch the next time I see you.])

Sometimes it has to just be about the act of writing and not that this particular item is the thing that is going to break free and be the great new inspiration for the ages. And old habits die hard: I just tried to do a word count to see where I was.

Okay, I'm feeling all proud of myself now. I'm going off to consider some rules for myself and work on my current and future happiness.

~Noelle

Not my most humble post

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Thu, 11 Feb 2016 00:50:00 +0000

I fascinate me.

I've been re-reading my blog posts over the last few days after Neuf 'fessed up that he had been reading my blog and think there is a lot of interesting stuff that I've written, or that the stuff was not necessarily interesting to anyone other than me but my writing amused me or invoked a really clear memory for me.

I had been avoiding it because I'm conflicted about: 1) not really wanting to write for a long time (months into years now) and 2) not necessarily wanting to share myself with the world at large who may end up being assholes and not the agent or editor of my dreams who randomly finds my writing and offers me a book deal.

However, now that I've re-read a bunch of it, plus a whole other blog I had forgotten about, I think maybe I should risk the public attention (not too worried yet, I only have six subscribers and I may lose one soon) and write.

~N.

Dude. Seriously. Chill.

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Wed, 10 Feb 2016 17:24:00 +0000

So: if something work-related may or may not happen, and even then not until July; there is nothing more I can to make it happen from now until then; and my behavior/actions are not going to really change whether or not the thing happens - perhaps I should just chill the fuck out and not worry about it until then. Instead I should work on my own personal projects and stop being aggravated and stressed about a thing I feel I have zero control over. (Of course, I can be annoyed about having zero control over something that I, ideally, would be able to drive the process on, but that would be a whole other rant.)

What makes you a good fit for this job?

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 19:45:00 +0000

I'm not suggesting that you need or are looking for a new job...but if you are, check out this answer to an important and common question by Liz Ryan.

What makes you a good fit for this job?

Journaling prompts - Practical, work related ones :~)

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 19:42:00 +0000

I really enjoy Liz Ryan and her ideas on HR recruitment and hiring. This is a recent post in Forbes:

Journaling is great exercise. Here are 25 journal prompts to motivate you.

And here are the prompts, so I can find them later...:~)

25 Journal Prompts

Write in your journal about…

1. Your life and work situation now. Where do you work, or what kind of work are you looking for? What do you do at work, or how are you running your job search?

2. Your day. What did you eat, where did you go and who did you talk to? What did you think about today?

3. Your to-do list. What are you working on at work or in your job search, and at home? What’s on your plate? Get your to-do list out of your head and write about it. What could you shuffle around or push off to a later date in your to-do list, and how will you reward yourself when you’ve accomplished each item on your list?

4. Your plans. What are you planning to accomplish and experience in 2016? What are you excited about for this new year?

5. Your hopes for 2016. What elements of your life and career would you like to see change in 2016, and how would you like them to change?

6. Your future. When December 31, 2016 arrives, how would you like your life to be different than it is now? Where do you want your life and career to go in the following year, 2017?

7. Your concerns. What’s bugging you or stressing you out? What are the biggest stress factors in your life right now? Write about them and look at them. What steps can you take to ease your burden this year and make your life easier and more rewarding than it is now?

8. Your health. How are you and your body getting along these days? What would you like to see change in your health, and how can you take steps to gradually make those changes?

9. Your relationships. Who is important to you at work and at home, and how do you and they support one another? Who do you rely on at work, and at home?

10. Your creative life. What do you do for your creative spirit, or what can you begin doing this year? Maybe this journaling practice is the start of something really cool in your creative expression. How can you make small changes to allow more of your creative side to shine through in 2016?

11. Your memories of 2015. What events, people, learning or experiences in 2015 made an impression on you and affected your feelings and/or your path going forward?

12. Your career path. Is your current career path still supporting who you are and want to be, or is it time to look at your path from a higher altitude?

13. Your long-term goals. What do you want from your life and your career overall — to experience, to accomplish, to learn, to teach or to bring about? This is the high-altitude view from the Cloud Level. What is your life about, and if like most people you’re not sure, how could you begin that exploration?

14. Your memories. Lots of us live our lives and then seldom if ever think about the past, but your path so far is a goldmine for understanding of yourself, other people and the world. Write about your memories from childhood, from your school days and from the days since then.

15. Your tastes. What are your favorite movies? Who are your favorite musical and visual artists? If you are a theater-goer, dance aficionado orlive music buff, what kind of theater, dance and music do your like most? What have been your creative influences so far in your life?

16. Your intellectual life. What do you read if you like to read, and what do you listen to on the radio or online? Who do you share ideas with and formulate your viewpoints with? How do you get the intellectual stimulation you need, and if you’re not getting it now, how can you begin to do so in 2016?

17. The news and current events. What kind of news do you follow and what ar your thoughts about events and people in the news?

18. Fun. How do you celebrate good news and how do you relax and have fun? Do you relax in a boat on a lake or in a movie theatre or doing yoga on your dining room floor? What is a fun day in your opinion, and how can you arrange one of those very soon?

19. Ideas.What ideas swirl around in your head — ideas for your life or parties you’d like to throw or the screenplay you want to write or that crazy idea about getting a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy. Write about your practical and out-there ideas. Look at them and ask “What is this idea telling me?” Maybe you are meant to get a puppy after all.

20. Your journey. It isn’t easy being a grownup. There are way too many things to deal with. How are you holding up in your journey? What are you thinking about? What’s in your way, and how can you tunnel under it, vault over it, make a hole through it or sail right by it?

21. Dreams and signals. Write about your dreams and daydreams, the images and sounds that catch your attention and the little synchronistic things that happen in your life and give you a little buzz, like static electricity. The more awake you get to your own existence and your path the more you’ll notice interesting coincidences and themes emerging. Write about them!

22. Your persona. Who are you at work, and who are you with your friends? How are those people different? Are the differences healthy and fun for you — like playing different parts in different plays at the same time — or are the gaps between your home-self and your work-self stressful for you? How could you bring yourself to work in 2016 and speak with your own voice?

23. If you knew that you could choose any career you wanted to and knew you’d be successful at it, what career would you choose?

24. If you could choose the lifestyle you wanted and design it down to the smallest detail, what would that lifestyle be?

25. What is stopping you?

Yes!

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Mon, 16 Mar 2015 19:59:00 +0000

Having a very successful programming day:

* Got the security issue work around fixed.

* Got the tabs across the top.

* Changed some code to do above and might actually know what I did.

* Got the cool color I wanted on the style sheet.

"It was a good day." -Ice Cube as channeled by Scott Davis.

~Noelle

A lot (two words) done

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Tue, 03 Mar 2015 18:53:00 +0000

Today has been one of those days where I have gotten a tremendous amount of things - work, personal, career - done. This is actually a continuation from Saturday, when Neuf and I knocked out a bunch of skunkles (errands).

*Library book returned.

*Last minute important thing delivered to child.

*Netflix queue updated with a brilliant idea I had for our next movie seriess.

*Finally, the mySQL and php class is making sense. I'm reading the sample code and understanding it. This is huge for the new position.

*Acting as the backup for the person who took my old position but is on vacation this week, so clearing out some old to-do items I left her with.

*Repaired office chair. (Honey, you are a genius. The vise grips were the perfect thing.)

*Made lasagne over the weekend that my honey can take to work for lunch/tea this week.

*Make Thing 2's favorite with enough for another dinner or two.

*Got the bad writing job albatross back to its owner.

*Got the CPAP to a good home.

*Organized my jewelry drawer.

*Started the new blog: ~~www.noellesbeerblog.blogspot.com~~ www.noellesblogofpotentialyumminess.blogspot.com.

*Finished several books and put them up on Library Thing for the 2015 "52 books, 52000 words" goal.

*Collaborated on goal to get Neuf et al to a live NHL game.

*Received (late) child support check. Making a plan to deal with future disruptions but also decided to accept calmly the way fate will play this out across the next year and a half.

*Confirmed Thing 1 has a place to live next school year. Fingers crossed, this could be his permanent home for the last 3 to 3 1/2 years of college.

*Wrote here on my blog.

I rock.

~Noelle

How to be classy when talking

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Wed, 22 Jan 2014 14:28:00 +0000

I went to classreport.org today to update my profile and now I get to be the featured personal website of the day. I better get some damn new stuff posted then, huh?

Last night I was ranting to Scott about the cost of replacing the brakes on Thing 1's car. (Let me be clear, it's owned and most operations paid for by the two responsible parents, but operated by the teenager, so he thinks it's his.) I was debating whether it's worth just buying new-ish cars and getting screwed by the dealer with the overpricing (I'm looking at you, Town Center Nissan) versus buying older used cars and getting screwed by the seller with getting a car that is definitely going to need $2000+ worth of work in the first year if past history is any guide.

Anyway, I was using some graphic sexually imagery to describe how I thought the car buying process takes place, forgetting that T1 was doing his (Georgia Tech!) Calculus III homework at the dining room table. He started laughing hysterically. "My friends totally don't believe me when I tell them that conversations like this take place at my house!" he says. Great, we are the tacky, trash-talking parents. Good thing I can roll out the graduate degree in writing if I need to - I can say I was being ironic or something. *eyeroll*

Future possible blogs:

*A friend in college who used, overused and I think incorrectly used "ironic" nearly every day of our freshman year. It made me avoid the word for a very long time.

*The definition of "moot": I know the purists want it to mean "open to debate," but common usage has long since changed it to "beyond discussion" or "over."

*The same thing is happening to "literally," (has already happened in the South), but I am fighting it.

Quick work/child rant

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 20:39:00 +0000

This is a problem with the traditional, 8 to 5, office job: you are stuck here from 8 to five. You are stuck sitting at your desk trying, eventually pretending, to work even if your brain is all melty at 3:30 and all you want to do is leave and go get your daughter at school and beat her to death with the biology book that she forgot to bring to school. Or throw her onto a pyre of the science and math homework that she has not been turning in that is leading to her flunking out of the exclusive math & science academy that you had to fucking coerce her into attending.

And, really, if she wants to get booted from the program, then okay, we'll go a different way with high school. But who is going to have to negotiate getting her through the rest of the semester? And who is going to get to tell her overbearing father? You or Miss La-La-I-forgot-I-had-homework-or-I-didn't-want-to-do-it-but-don't-be-mad? Three guesses and the first two don't count.

(Okay. I've written. I might feel better now.)

~N.

I did some stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 22:39:00 +0000

Here's what you need to know about today. I wrote 600+ coherent words. I studied Italian for 45 minutes. I let my daughter have a friend over and they baked cupcakes, with no interference from me. I did laundry. I provided lunch and dinner, with assistance from Papa John's. I did cross stitch and read a book. So, I have to get over the feeling that I did nothing today and acknowledge that I did quite a bit, just not out in the heat and with my fellow Americans. Okay, that is all. Happy Independence Day to us all and Happy belated Canada Day to the way-Northerners.

~N.

New Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 02:15:00 +0000

I've got a new blog that I'd like to try. It's called "I've got stuff if you want it" @

http://ivegotstuffifyouwantit.blogspot.com.

Maybe you don't want stuff, but you know some who does. Maybe you have stuff to get rid of, too.

Just got take a look at tell me what you think. Thanks.

~N.

Writing woes and whines

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 22:28:00 +0000

(This is my entry for today for a project that Colette and I are doing where we are supposed to write every other day back and forth. Clearly, I am not keeping up my side of the deal. And it was MY IDEA.)

You know why I don’t write? Me, neither. Dog as my witness, between when I last wrote here two weeks ago and the “what the fuck happened?” email a week later, I forgot. Truly. I forgot that I agreed to share the task of writing every other day. Okay, I may have remembered while being somewhere inaccessible to the computer, but then promptly forget again.

So, I have to ask, what kind of writer am I? What kind of writer sits down at the computer two to ten times a day and can’t remember that she has a sworn duty to sit down and crank out 500 words? Because what’s even worse is that since the wtf email, I’ve written a reminder to myself in my online to-do list every day since and every day I’ve crossed it off undone.

What I want to go do now is reread The Courage to Write to see if I can get some insight into why I am procrastinating. Or maybe The Procrastinator’s Handbook (it’s a real book; it’s on the top shelf in the bedroom bookcase). However, I am not going to go get either one right now because that is just another way to get away from the task. Reading about writing is NOT writing. That’s not my quote. I think I may have gotten it from Ray Bradbury, or the very old woman who wrote Becoming a Writer. Either way, I’M NOT GOING TO LOOK IT UP RIGHT NOW.

This is killing me. I like to write. I want to write. Why can I not break into my day and do this? Why is it not part of my routine? I look at email every morning and several (read: many, many) times a day. I look at Facebook almost as often, even though many of the posts drive me crazy. I balance the checkbook every morning via the bank website and Quicken. I shower. I usually make the bed. I have breakfast. I usually take my various pills. Starting next week I’ll be doing all the machinations necessary to get myself and Things One and Two out the door for work and school. Why is writing not in the long list of things I’m doing every day?

It’s not like I don’t have anything to say. Before I even get to the great American novel I have several thousand words worth of rants to pass on to my reading public.

“I was drunk in a bar. I was thrown out into public.”

Thank you, Ron White.

See, I’ve got a bunch of funny stuff just waiting to emerge. Then I’ll have some insightful stuff. Then maybe I’ll have some highly readable and marketable stuff. Or maybe it will all be crap. Who cares? Must write every day. Must write every day. Must plan to write and make it part of my routine every day. Must do this so that when I’m older and grayer this will not be one of those regrets.

Note. To. Self.

~Noelle 04/09/2012

Hi. wave

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 03:04:00 +0000

I am in a good mood. I made a yummy dinner for my honey (and he was sweet and cleaned up). I watched some TV, including some hockey. I got some work done in my office. Even work was reasonable today. Oh, and I'm about to leave on a week long cruise. So, all this means that I felt like tickling the keys and putting something new - and cheerful - on the blog. I hope that you reading it are in a good mood, too. If not, please feel free to borrow some of mine. :~)

~N.

p.s. It was "Sharlys Mac and Cheese" as per the instruction of Sharlys the Amazing. Thanks, Mom.
p.p.s. The most recent episode of "The Big Bang Theory" and the Columbus Blue Jackets win over Detroit, their first win of the season, plus some Penguins/Ducks action.
p.p.p.s. Sending an overdue email and updating some personal stuff on line. Plus I guess we could say this post.
p.p.p.p.s. Did I mention the CRUISE? I am psyched.

My advice to you...

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 02:42:00 +0000

Do not buy a house. Do not buy a house, or other permanent living space, unless you can pay 50-100% of the cost and can finance, if necessary, the rest at a loan for not more than 5 years.

In other words, if you have a ton of cash available because you've been making good financial decisions like staying out of debt and saving a big portion of what you earn and/or living a greatly scaled down lifestyle and you want to do something with the cash and you don't mind the risk of being tied down to one location for a while, then go ahead and buy a domicile.

Otherwise, seriously consider renting something sensible in the general area you want to live in. It doesn't have to be the perfect home; you are only renting and can move on to a better place pretty much any time you want. And forget about equity, which is a fool's dream anyway as many of us have learned over the past 20 years. Since your place is a reasonable size and the infrastructure is someone else's problem to maintain, you can be saving and/or investing (also a bad idea, but a lecture for another time) and keep your funds available and hopefully intact through lucre and not property.

Pro and Con for Joe

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 02:10:00 +0000

Blogging:

Pro - you are writing. You are probably writing with an audience of at least a few friends or family. You are writing and everyone's standards for this sort of writing are pretty low, because it's BLOGGING, for crying out loud. Teenagers without the ability to spell small pronouns do this. And because the standards are low, you are perhaps writing more often and more frequently and therefore getting better or maybe more comfortable and that's good for word production and creative stimulus. You are writing and the members of your currently small but with the potential for growth audience that love and support may provide visible support and that will encourage you to keep writing.

Con - you are writing words out into a medium that you really cannot control. There are ways to restrict viewers to your blog, but then you are undercutting one of the key aims - to get your writing out there where others can see it. You are writing and have to consider that your high school English teacher may see it (not mine, she died while I was in college and I'm still upset about it), or your mother may see it (and I know she will since she's a subscriber), or your boss (not likely), or a member of the community whom you do not necessarily want to see your true opinions on big life issues (also probably unlikely at this time, but it could happen). You are writing but may upset others with your writing and then have to consider whether this is the way you want to go with your writing endeavors.

~N.

What I'm reading today

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 19:59:00 +0000

I tried reading a mystery/detective/thriller novel by Larry Beinhart. He wrote the novel American Hero that the movie Wag the Dog was based on and he's written another one called Salvation Island that has also become a movie recently (including Jim Gaffigan in the cast, which made me pay attention because I was surprised to see him in a movie). I seem to remember liking Wag the Dog and Salvation Island looked like it might be funny, in a dark comedy kind of way, so I got some of Larry's books at the library.

Unfortunately, I didn't really care for them. This reminds me of my Elmore Leonard problem: I really want to like his stuff because I like one movie A LOT (and prefer it to the book it was based on), one movie is okay (again, movie better than book), a lot of the short stories are good and one book was enjoyable (not made into a movie...yet). Unfortunately, I don't like almost all the other books, and most of the other movies and I wish I did.

The happy unintended consequence of this is that when I went to the library to pick up the Beinhart books, I found The Lonely Polygamist by Brady Udall. While the clerk was in back getting my books on reserve, I scanned the books to be reshelved, as I am wont to do, and this one caught my eye. The name seemed familiar, maybe from the New York Times book review, so I took it. I'm 40 pages in and it's compelling and funny in a melancholy way, so I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon to work on it. More later on how it goes.

~N.

p.s. Frustrated again at the superficiality and/or excess emoting to strangers on Facebook and Twitter, I am again tryiing for a break from both. Comment here or email me if we need to be in contact.

A little wheel spinning

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 02:42:00 +0000

Yeah, I wrote today. But it was vitriol-filled diatribe to a former friend who I think has gone over to the dark side and my comments just is not appropriate for me to post. (Note: I'm not sending it to him, either. I wrote it because I needed to get it out.) When I'm independently wealthy, or at least not counting on the good graces of anyone I know to keep me afloat, maybe I'll allow my true sentiments on these things to come out but not tonight.

Off to play some nice soothing solitaire.

~N.

Already Thursday

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 02:52:00 +0000

There is a reason that one of the category choices for my labels for these posts is "venting." I seem to spend a lot of time bitching about things here. And what's worse, the things I write down are probably a tenth of the complaints about things I think about during the day.

I'm not saying I'm totally immersed in annoying people and situations, but I do feel like a novice swimmer off the coast of Australia who has somehow found herself in the midst of a school of those really scary kind of jellyfish - box jellyfish I think they are called (although I might be confusing the scary jellyfish from Australia with the ones in the Will Smith movie called "8" something) - where the jellyfish are the stupid people, in case you missed that. (/snark)

(Btw, the title of the post refers to the previous post where I complained about it only being Tuesday and now the week is running out fast and it's already Thursday night and I know I'm not going to get everything done tomorrow that I needed for the week. "Really?" as we say here, "Really?")

**Right here is the ending to this post. I rewrote it five times and didn't like it any of those times. Fuck it, I am really going to bed now.**

~N.

Only Tuesday

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 23:25:00 +0000

I have decided to get a little ahead of the curve and write early in the evening instead of later, when I may (unbelievably) feel too tired to type.

It's only Tuesday. Dog as my witness, I would have bet money on it being Thursday, or least a little closer to the end of the work week.

My payroll week at work runs Thursday to Wednesday, so I spend Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday fretting about how we did over the weekend and can we improve our efficiency (for "hours per patient per day") to meet our budget AND not go into too much overtime AND not blow the budget for support staff. All of the above measures based on formulas based on our resident census which is a figure completely beyond my control. As is most of the scheduling.

So I spend a lot of time stressing about how to move my little corner of the couch while a whole bunch of people are sitting on it, eating my Cheetos, drinking my Diet Cokes and overstaying their welcome in general.

I am very pleased with that imagery and will now quit while I'm ahead. Dinner still to cook, TV show to watch, flute to practice.

~N.

ETA: I typed this an hour ago, but Scott's computer wouldn't let me post it. The "save now" button worked, but not the "publish post" button. Odd.

Also, have just discomforted my daughter by using the expressions "Holy Cow" and "'Sup?" in sequence. I'm an enigma to her.

Day 2 of It's a New Day

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 02:37:00 +0000

The second day of flute practice is less fun than day one. The newness is gone and it's down to practicing scales that I can tell are really rusty. I can still read the notes (I don't think that skill goes away) but I cannot for the life of me remember if I ever knew how to hit the upper octave D, E, F and G. I can't even remember how to finger the high G and I didn't feel like looking it up. I just went back to doing the lower scales. I did have a little coup when I sounded out the A flat scale (yes, the geekiness is just rolling off me in waves, I know.)

In other news, it is still unbearably hot. I really just do NOT remember it being this hot for this long last year. I know I spent most of last June inside with the A/C on, waiting for job offers to appear, but I don't remember it being so hot for so long. This is just miserable. It's so bad that I am making an effort to pack my lunch so I don't have to leave the building in the middle of the day. Not that my office is great, either, but at least I have the little reciprocating fan that Scott bought me. Plus, the door locks and I can pretend I'm not in there.

Word goal met. Must now go read a printed book for 15 minutes, then bed.

~N.

New goals

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 01:54:00 +0000

At Joe's suggestion, I've been reading "Moonwalking with Einstein" by Joshua Foer about a journalist's yearlong quest to understand the history and value of memorization and his own work on improving his own skills to the point that he can be competitive.

While reading the book, I have become a little interested in learning some memorization tricks (I used one for Thing 1 to memorize a locker combination this morning), but more interested in some of the other ideas that the author found.

He talks about how people learn skills and how to get past plateaus in learning. He talked about learning an instrument and that reminded me that I had the flute upstairs.

I dusted it off (literally, the case had been at the top of a bookcase for a long time) and practiced some scales for 15 minutes. (In my endless purging of stuff, the flute practice books are something I have never really considered getting rid of.)

I've decided to renew some goals for myself based on my positive experience with the flute. Naturally, writing daily is on the goal list. We'll have to see how it goes.

~N.

Saturday of Memorial Day weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Sat, 28 May 2011 22:53:00 +0000

I told Tiffany not to stress about blogging, that she could blog in paragraphs and not to stress about blogging in long essays. Today, I wish to blog in short complaints.

*I like the temperature to be cool in my office, but I hate the feeling of the cold air coming out of the vent and on to my shoulders.

*I don't the white noise of fans. I like quiet and/or some ambient city traffic noise.

*I do not enjoy the chirping of birds. It's piercing and annoying and often reminds me of the very annoying bird (possibly a peacock) that hung out behind the house the summer of Timothy when all I wanted to do was sleep.

*I do like the chirping of crickets at twilight when I'm sitting on the porch doing nothing and it's not too hot, too cold or too humid. They'd be distracting if I was trying to write, though.

*I hate what a time and brain suck Facebook is, but I'm paranoid that I'm going to miss some great bon mot if I don't check it. Logically, I know this is completely false, as Scott or Tim will find good stuff and share it with me, so I'm aggravated at my inability to just quit cold turkey.

*The best thing I've ever seen via Facebook was the full length Darth Vader Volkswagen ad. I'm ready to starting crying with laughter just thinking about how adorable and funny it was. Note: as mentioned above, Scott gets credit for bringing it to my attention.

*Rats. Writing has put me in a better mood. I'll have to complain more later. I'm sure I'll find some grist for the mill.

~N.

Oh, look, it's the tax office again.

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 15:06:00 +0000

I had started a vent back on April 9th about being in the tax office and bored, but now I get to update it with "in the tax office and sick and bored." It pisses me off that, even though I deliberately took off Friday - Monday thinking that I might get sick due to overdoing everything at the end of tax season, I actually DID get sick and am spending my free, paid-by-work, time off being sick and miserable.

I seem to recall a lot more walk-ins last year, such that I, as a new person to the office and without any returning clients, stayed busy all day on Saturdays. I've had a few walk-ins this year, but mostly returning clients with appointments. What it means is that last Saturday and the one before I've been sat without anything constructive to do for hours. (Which is fine, actually, I really don't want to talk to anybody anyway.)

Because this is operating like a diary, I am keeping the following entry from April 9:
The other problem is that I am wicked tired because I ended a full work week by attending a night hockey game with the fam. Friday was kind of crappy day anyway: a bunch of duplicative emails from my regional HR rep and my administrator; the prospect of going through every payroll file for 2009 and 2010 for the auditors; humid weather; a new office which is only partly organized and is therefore stressing me out with my inability to find anything or everything quickly; employees who are sick, or injured, or not wanting to fulfill the basic licensing requirements for their positions. Quite a list - it always makes me happy to have a very long sentence with multiple colons and semi-colons.

After work I went and collected the children - who knew I was going to be home at 5:30 but still were not fully dressed and electronically equipped when I got there. Then we went and got the SO and he drove us down to the arena to watch the game.

Nothing but time

noreply@blogger.com (Noelle) — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 15:58:00 +0000

I was sitting in the tax office, annoyed that I was killing a Saturday doing nothing and/or having to do taxes, which I'm tired of doing already this season. I took a break and went up to McDonald's for breakfast and to read my book for a little while. Eventually, I had to come back and I was considering what to do.

I'm not doing any more practice problems. I don't have any drop off returns to do. I spent the first wasted hour and a half this morning reading tax updates. I thought about writing in the notebook that I've started carrying about with me. Then I remembered that I have access to this blog page. The system blocks personal email and social networking sites, so I can't get to my gmail account or facebook, but it lets me through to blogspot, which uses a google sign on.

I have no excuse not to write if I have the time and capability.

Editing note: I edited the first sentence where I had first written "a little annoyed" and tightened it up to "annoyed." The edit was a result of coaching by Dr. Hill who advised me once about putting a word out there - "annoyed" in this case - then pulling back from the full emotion by modifying with "a little." I know I speak this way in an attempt to soften the blow of the statement.

Introspection note: If I'm needing to soften the blow of a statement, should I even be making it? That is, either I think something needs to be said and I should just say it, or I should keep it to myself. I can think of a few situations where this would apply. For example, I was telling Daphne at the office that I am trying not to yell at my children. This means that sometimes I will have to just walk away from the chance to have a really loud fight. It also means that sometimes, especially with Thing 2, that I will have to do what needs to be done (i.e., some household task that I'd previously delegated). I am also trying not to engage in pointless blame passing at work: "I wasn't supposed to do that:" "I told so-and-so to do that;" etc. Ask me later about the zen parable that is influencing my thinking here.

Ooooh, tax client is here. Back to work.

~N.