A Poem A Day

Day Nineteen - Bees

2011-06-13T20:16:00.000+01:00

The aim is to relax
which I do...keep busy.
No need to let bees
interfere with my day.

Words upon pages
and pictures on screens,
One mechanism to
keep buzzing away.

Keep occupied to
relax me - in dreams.
For once yet forever,
for always you'll stay.

Day Eighteen - Premonitions

2011-06-12T23:55:00.000+01:00

They all believe what they want to believe,
see what they want to see.
Told of what it is the future holds,
when in fact, they know nothing at all.
In their eyes the path is easy.
You are there and have always been,
furniture in my life now.
But to me you are a part of me,
in no way other than this.
For them, they see an eternity
for two people who must be
as one in the end.
From my perspective I perceive
it's absurdity.
But this perception is something
I share, only not with the same
results or people or events.
Is that all this is...absurd...?

Day Seventeen - Numb

2011-06-12T23:51:00.000+01:00

Numbly I sit and compose,
writing words about something
I care nothing about.
Noise humming in the background.

What is it that has made
me become this way? I was
never one to give half my heart.
Afraid maybe to even try.

I watch it all and wonder again,
what is it that makes it appealing...
I tire of my thoughts, becoming
weary and weak, obsessing with

the same thoughts. I remember,
wondering why it has led me
to where I am, and you to
wherever it is that you are now.

Start over? Would you reverse?
Or has the path weaved its way
in the only direction it will ever go?
The numbness sets in once more.

Day Sixteen - Truths

2011-06-11T22:18:00.000+01:00

It hits me.
Like a brick to the face,
a bullet through my kneecaps...
It hits me.

When I need,
you look away,
assisting my mind
in it's twisted game of hate.

The words you use...
Oh! The words you use
could lead me to find
my cold and moulding corpse.

Take heed of your speech.
Alone you are unaware
but your words dig deeper
into this grave where I am lost.

This is yesterday's poem. I was unable to post it until now...! Let me know what you think of this one?!

Day Fifteen - On Our Paths

2011-06-09T23:01:00.000+01:00

Do you feel that
You've left me down
Somewhere along my
Long and winding path?
Or do you believe
It is all me,
Entirely?

Is there an element
Of guilt when
You see what
I've become?
You see but only
A shadow of
The darkness
That crawls
Around me.

But that's a secret,
A secret I keep safe...

I've wondered-
Do you know
Your place?
Or are you
Seen as a
Completely
Seperate
Entity to
What I have become?

Maybe that's your secret,
A secret you keep safe...

Day Fourteen - Chocolate Cake

2011-06-08T20:27:00.000+01:00

Today I made cake,
I filled it with my
tears and frustration.

You would have been proud
to see me baking,
carrying on the tradition.

I was so angry.
I'm filled with a rage
and I don't know

where it's come from
or why its here
or why I can't just

dissolve it in a way
that is productive,
in a way that it

won't come back.
The cake was nice though.
You would have been proud.

Day Thirteen - Breathing

2011-06-07T22:56:00.001+01:00

Remember Eliot and Hopkins?
Yeats and Heaney,
Bishop and Plath?
How their words weave
through the strings of the heart,
through the gaps of my soul.

The words are in me,
give me the breath
with which I find
strength to breathe.
I contemplate...
why me?

Where in my past
was this path founded?
On my grandmother's couch,
in my grandfather's flair...?

These pieces of me,
detested by many,
are all that I am-
shapes upon pages,
letters and phrases.

Welcome to me.
This is how I believe.

Day Twelve - You and I

2011-06-06T23:35:00.000+01:00

I love the way we sit,
you and I.
Silence is no issue
when your hearts
beat in sync.

We laugh 'til we cry,
you and I.
With aching sides
and breathlessness
we wash the remains
of reality away.

We've not had any trouble,
you and I.
Through years of disasters
we have stood tall
and stood strong.

Forever together,
you and I.
How can we fear
the unknown
when we can rely
on one thing;
there will always be
strength, love and
laughter shared
between us...
We can always rely on
you and I.

Day Eleven - Crying

2011-06-06T23:30:00.000+01:00

I cannot comprehend
why I could not
stop crying.
I sat and I sobbed,
not knowing
the reasons why.

Perhaps it was fear,
or maybe
just comfort
at knowing there
was someone
willing to
take my hand.

This is yesterday's post, I was unable to get internet access yesterday...

This poem is pretty self explanatory, I think....!?

Day Ten - What I Wouldn't Do

2011-06-04T20:50:00.000+01:00

I don't know
what to say
today...
You were insulted
and I stood up for you.
But that is
Nothing
compared to
what I would do
to be with you
Just Once.

Recite it
over and over
and over again.
I tell myself,
convince myself,
that I won't
have to do
Anything...
Ever...

Day Nine - At Night

2011-06-03T22:49:00.000+01:00

I dreamt of you.
You greeted me
from a chair
in a place you
had never been.

You grinned at me
with a worn out face.
I stood in shock,
scared and unaware.

"Hi Claire" you called.
While I could not
form an answer,
you sat and you faded...

You couldn't be there...
It wasn't possible...
With death comes finality
and from us you have gone.

I was afraid
when I saw you,
instead of embracing
the imagined time
that we shared.

Day Eight - Silent Saviour

2011-06-02T18:43:00.000+01:00

With you I sit here
And watch the world go by.
I can block out what I want to,
leave in only what I choose.

The dog lies next to me
on the cold and greying concrete
while the birds sing gloriously,
unaware of the pain.

Purple petals bloom
as gentle red buds appear,
foreign linguists laughing.
I sip and sink away.

You let me be forgotten,
while letting me forget
the souls that I have lost
and the heart I'll never get.

Day Seven - Questioning

2011-06-02T00:23:00.001+01:00

What is it that keeps pushing a person?
How do you stay so firm, so dedicated...
When everything goes against you,
how do you stand tall- proud of
who you are, what you feel,
what you believe in.
The world can spread cruelty,
some reality to taste.
How do you keep a smile
when you're shaken
to your very core...
When everything
you have faith in
slips away...?

(This was meant to be posted earlier and is the poem for the 1st of June!)
I was thinking about what it is that keeps people driven in the face of so much pain and this poem is a stream of consciousness style poem where I am exploring this idea...

Day Six - Because You Asked

2011-05-31T19:38:00.000+01:00

I've never known someone
to consume so much alcohol
and remain so beautifully sober.

You lie next to me,
revolted at the thought
of touching my
anorexic arms.

You watch me eating
You keep drinking.
Your distraction fails
as you yearn for
my love to talk.

Through muffled giggles
and the dog kicking in
his sleep, you tell
me about sizes and
scenarios that make us
giggle even more.

This is for you,
because you asked
but also,
because I wanted to
give something back.

Its not much
but, I promise
to give more
someday...

Day Five - Letters to a Lost Soul

2011-05-30T18:57:00.000+01:00

I look at what we were
and feel numbed.
I write letters
to a lost soul.
You may never hear
the words I whisper
or songs I sing.
Universe is teasing,
waiting...
Put the pieces
together.

Look for signs?
Proof?
Is my heart
proof enough?
Orchestra of my heart,
it plays to you.

Hope.
Hopelessness.
Has it faded
into dust?
As he put it
perfectly -
Half of me is missing.

Day Four - Your Heart's Shadow

2011-05-29T21:19:00.001+01:00

Almost there.
Can you see
my sadness
when our eyes
meet?
Rarely,
these days.

Time haunts.
What was there,
now gone.
What has been-
yet to come.
Shadow my soul.
Waiting.

Electricity
through my veins.
Imagine,
remember, recall...
Glances, kisses,
a whisper.
Before.

I know.
Aware.
I stand in
your heart's shadow.
Waiting.
For now, forever,
for always.

Day Three - Dreaming

2011-05-28T21:24:00.003+01:00

Hearts are often broken by unspoken words;
That cannot be said for me.
I feared you would forget me.
Never shall I forget you.

Blood flows through me,
Just as you do;
A hurricane that has
Caught my soul.

I look with joy to days when
Reality has more to offer than dreams.
Time may provide little relief
But faith tells me to show strength,

It lies not to me.
You may tell me to keep dreaming-
But I await the dawn
With open arms.

I don't know why I wrote this the way I did. I understand what it is about but its formlessness is something that I find unusual for my writing. The poem deals with many aspects of the one topic... I am not sure if I am able to write well at all today....!?

Day Two - Meditation on Intuition

2011-05-27T21:31:00.001+01:00

Guided last night
I met Intuition;
A blunt friend,
Of innermost knowing.
I was attentive
And opened my heart.

It rustled as I sat in silence;
Lotus posed.
I felt it within me
Rocking ever so slightly,
Producing images
I feared I'd never see-

In black and white,
like The Photograph.
Dresses flowed and
Babies clothes came
With smiles and kisses.
Intimate scenes
Beyond dreams.

I observed in peace.
I did not judge.
Alone, in solitude
My stomach lunged.
Enlightenment? Never...
Awareness? Perhaps...

Day One - Letting Go

2011-05-26T16:09:00.000+01:00

Your hand bruised and swollen,
Growing cold.
I held it tightly in mine.
Terrified of letting go.

Twenty-two were with you.
We shook. We cried.
For breath was growing shallow,
Time was passing by.

Your chest grew still and body sank,
Now with children lost before.
Lying peacefully, prayers being said,
Your Guardian Angel recited once more.

You let us go at half past five,
Though it causes despair to us;
We know you are no longer suffering,
But watching from Above.

This poem is definitely not my best work, but its a reflection on the passing of a relative. It has been a very difficult event and these are the things that I remember most about how it happened. Death can be such a difficult thing to write about...

Here is the plan....

2011-05-26T15:43:00.000+01:00

Ok, so I have decided that I need to do something to get myself back into writing. I love to write and believe that its the best way to express myself but due to time, things always seem to fall out of place. Therefore, I have set myself an extremely daunting task of writing a poem a day for a year. God knows this can go one of two ways but its a little bit exciting too. I could make a Holy show of myself or watch myself develop as a writer....who knows!

I don't know what form this blog is going to take. I may just post the poetry or I may add some words about where the inspiration comes from...the plan is to take it step-by-step anyway and see how it goes!