Intersection of Purpose and Now

Thank God for the catfish...

2012-05-24T07:40:00.000-05:00

"They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They’d keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with this idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in with them. And the catfish would keep the cod agile. And there are those people who are catfish in life. They keep you on your toes. They keep you guessin’. They keep you thinkin’. They keep you fresh. And I thank God for the catfish, because we would be dull and boring if we didn’t have somebody nipping at our fin." – Vince Pierce, from the movie Catfish

Develop Your Self-Inquiry Skills with Coaching

2012-05-21T07:30:00.000-05:00

One of my goal's as your life and business strategist and coach, is to develop your self-inquiry skills and ensure you practice them. Self-inquiry is based on an assumption that you need less advice and more safe space to access your own "inner teacher" -- your truth that offers guidance to address your challenges and opportunities.

This is the reason I ask so many questions, to help you look beneath the surface of your own assumptions. Together, we hold your beliefs up to the light and learn more about them. In no way am I interested in embarrassing you into changing. You act on free choice, always. Typically, what you don't want is to constantly allow your mood of the moment to dictate the intention of your life.

Consider these questions to help you with self-inquiry:

What's the story I am telling myself right now?
What is the belief that this story justifies or relies on?
How is that belief serving me in this moment?
What other beliefs might I adopt that better serve my intention and integrity in this moment?
What beliefs help me move toward my goals, long-term intentions and desired legacy?

You will find many more questions to help you explore and examine your own thoughts and motives here, too. And feel free to contribute to my Twitter hash tag #therightquestions.

If you want to learn more about the game-changing power of self-inquiry, ask about my "Why This Work: Renewing Your Passion For Your Life and Work" programs.

7 Reminders for the Listening Leader

2012-05-17T07:34:00.000-05:00

If you are a leader or ever hope to be considered by others as a leader, you must learn to communicate.

I have asked thousands of people over the years about what they consider to be the qualities of a leader. "Communication" skills, "great communicator" or something similar is nearly always listed. Most often, this means excellent speaking or possibly writing skills - what I call advocacy skills. An even more critical quality of communication and great leadership, one that potentially crosses all behavioral styles, personality types and crises and non-crises situations, is effective listening skills.

While Dale Carnegie professes to help people become better talkers and local schools and colleges teach public speaking, few courses are ever offered in "effective listening". So here is a primer of seven essential practices to make you a better listener and a more effective leader.

Listen carefully - listen to what others say, how they say it, and see their body gestures. Focus on what they are they saying, not on what you are going to say. Attend to their agenda and allow them to remain in control. Your role is listener. If culturally appropriate, look at their eyes and hands. Are they keeping their arms and legs crossed or held closely to the body. At what point does the person literally loosen up while you're listening to them speak? You will see what they are communicating as much as you will hear it, when you listen carefully.
Clarifying statement or question - even if you misunderstand what someone is saying, they will know you are trying to get on track with them when you make statements or ask questions that seek further clarification. "You seem passionate about this, but I am a bit confused. What is it you really want?" or "I can tell that your are really upset. Let me see if I can get this right: You are most concerned about…"
Reflective statement - repeat back what they said; your intent is to mirror their words and meanings. A reflective statement is more than just repeating back their words; it shows you have thought about what they said, too. You are attempting to "get it", which means you are accepting the person first by understanding their meaning, whether you agree or not.
Silence - an incredible gift and sometimes all that is needed to allow someone to further their thoughts, and for you to form yours in the most helpful form possible. Silence truly is golden. Too often we feel we must say something to be helpful, when saying nothing, but listening intently is exactly all the other person needs. Silence allows the other person to complete their thoughts, further their thinking and continue to speak at some point, when they are ready. Become a master of silence and you will soon develop the reputation of a great helping listener.
Paraphrase - A thoughtful paraphrase speaks clearly that "I heard what you've said and processed it into my own understanding." Using your own words to repeat back what someone said or asked verifies what the person meant; it also allows them to further clarify what they meant.
Open-ended response - Keep them talking so you can listen and understand more, and they can feel heard, which is sometimes all they want. "Could you say more about that?" "Tell me more about that..." "There must be a reason you said that (feel that way)..." Open the door to relationship.
Validating feelings - let people know that it is OK to feel the way they do; it's normal and they are not weird. This helps them move on from this thought or feeling to other thoughts and feelings, once that may take them closer to their goals. Help them know they are not in this world alone.

There are also a few critical things for a listening leader to watch out for or avoid:

Don't make assumptions - ask questions; check it out. Your assumptions about the other person, what he is feeling or thinking or meaning, or what she ultimately wants or needs are your biggest danger. Assume wrongly, or state your assumptions too soon or with the wrong words, and you can ruin your chance for relationship. Assumptions destroy leaders. As one of my first editors taught me, "If your grandma says she loves you, check it out."
Don't be weird - if something you are inclined to say or do would be weird to you, then it is weird. Don't overstep your boundaries; don't try to sell them your perceptions or beliefs; don't try to convince them of something or turn the focus to your story. Respect boundaries.
Ask for permission - Don't assume it's OK to ask a probing or clarifying question. Don't assume it is always appropriate to pray with someone, regardless of shared faith or religion. Ask first, "Is it OK if...?"
Don't try to fix people - It's not your job. You may quickly find that, in your attempt to fix someone else or their problems, all you have accomplished is to bring attention to your own shortcomings.
Do not be the problem-solver - Never try to fix the person and resist trying to fix the person's problem. You don't have the right answer until it becomes his right answer anyway. Instead, use your active listening skills to help this person develop her own right answers, so she can take right action to get the results that are right for her, at the right time.
Who else is this person? When your internal assumptions and questions about the other person's attitudes, values, intellect, abilities, authenticity, etc. get the best of you, silently ask yourself, "Who else is this person?" as a reminder they have an authentic "back story" that has made them who they are. You don't have to know a person to listen well. You do have to respect them as someone whose life has brought them to this moment.

Take the time to be the tangible touch of a listening leader in someone's life this week.
Image credit: pdncoach / 123RF Stock Photo

How do you get better when you're already so good?

2012-05-14T06:30:00.000-05:00

“How do I get better when I’m already so good?”

OK, so maybe you would never really ask this about yourself, let alone your team or your organization. I believe you could say it though, with all honesty.

I believe most people, individually and in groups, are just fine the way they are. A few people, however, want something more. Good enough is never good enough. They want to achieve more, do more, have more; they want to become more. Of these few, fewer yet – I estimate less than FIVE PERCENT of all people – are willing to pursue the difficult journey of tapping into their hidden potential to achieve greater success.

Read on...if you want to be one of the FIVE PERCENT who will do the difficult things that less successful people won’t do.

Image credit: pdncoach / 123RF Stock Photo

Sooner or later you find yourself awake at night wondering. “What else is possible?”

Better yet, you find yourself fully awake during the day, more awake than you have ever felt in your lifetime. You are wondering… and something just clicks, “Now is a time for action.”

Maybe it was something you read, saw or heard.
Maybe it was a missed opportunity.
Maybe it was a difficult activity you faced with dread, yet from which you now feel the joy of accomplishment.
Maybe it was an obstacle you could not overcome, a reprimand from a superior or a doubt expressed by someone important to you.
Maybe it was the action of another that inspired you.
Maybe you realized that circumstance has controlled you for too long.
Maybe you just realized how much of your future you have ahead of you.

How can you turn your “maybes” into goals that you will achieve?

Whatever the catalyst, you realize more clearly than ever that you (or your team, your business unit, your entire organization) – you realize you are capable far beyond current achievements. You realize you have so much more potential to do more, to have more, to become more than you already are. But how?

This wondering is the opportunity of a lifetime. I don’t want you to miss it.

Maybe you can't always do your best, but you can always do your better.

Everything you have accomplished up to this moment makes you who you are. Everything you are capable to achieve in the future represents your potential.

Allow your Courage to become a reflection of your growing desire to become the kind of person you want to become, to have the kind of life you deserve, and to be the successful leader you were meant to be.

How Do You Measure Success, Simply?

2012-05-07T06:29:00.000-05:00

I want to be a person whose children, wife, friends and clients feel comfortable and confident in coming to me with anything - any thought, feeling, fear, joy, regret or experience they choose to share with me. That's a very clear daily affirmation, but a rather intangible goal. So how do I measure success?

Well, when my teenage son asks, "Dad, a friend asked me if I was born again; what does that really mean?" - that's a measure of success. When he reveals to me that he is reading St. Augustine's "Confessions" and wants to borrow my copy of Boethus' "Consolation of Philosophy" - another success. When my wife says, "You amaze me..." When my oldest son calls me immediately after being robbed at gunpoint...

Keep your measures simple.
There are volumes written about how to measure success and the achievement of goals in business and in life. I have learned to keep it simple, at least for starters, then add more sophisticated metrics when appropriate based on the return on effort.

In my business as a coach, a simple measure of success is when my clients come to me and say,

"Mark, never before in my life have I been this focused on what is truly important to me. I know what I want; I know my true priorities; I have the courage now to act On Purpose; and I am getting the results I've always wanted."

A simple measure I use and teach in sales is the "4-Point Productivity Plan", in which my goal is to get a minimum of four points each day based on this scale:

1 point – Get a lead, an introduction or a referral
2 points – Make an appointment with a decision-maker
3 points – Have a meeting with a decision-maker
4 points – Close a sale

Another simple sales measure stems from one of my basic sales principles: People want to buy what they need from someone who understands what they want. So my goal is to understand, and my simple success measure is when a prospect or client tells me that I "get it", that I understand their circumstance and their desires, whether I can directly meet their need or not. In fact, the sales "pitch" they say "yes" to is typically their words which I repeat back to them.

I lead a group of youth in our church and I have a simple success measure in that role, too. It's very similar to the one with my sons and wife. When a young person requests, in private, "Mark, may I ask you a question?" or when they have the courage to ask the same question of a group of their peers, or they publicly share a doubt, belief, joy, regret... That is success. It's not what they know or understand so much as it is the sign that they know who they want to be. I have helped create a safe environment for them to be open, honest and authentic. I have succeeded.

In leadership and coaching, my simple measure is helping others move forward and succeed, by "never telling someone anything I could ask instead." This takes particular discipline and patience, but I love the results when I succeed and I help someone find clarity and commitment to right action by asking them questions. Yet I've told them absolutely nothing, especially of my own experience, advice, opinion or recommendation. I merely asked them to keep talking about their thoughts.

If there is anything that keeps me sane (let alone successful) it is the fact that I cannot be more invested in your success than you are. But I am responsible for my own success. And I'm more successful when I keep things simple.

What are your simple measures of success? Please take time to comment on your examples; we can all learn from them.

[Oh, and by the way, my son Dylan did read my copy of Boethius, and posted several quotes for his peers to read on Facebook!]

Leadership: The Quest for a Whole New World

2012-04-30T06:36:00.000-05:00

"Why, some say, the moon? Why choose this as our goal?" President John F. Kennedy

Formal Leadership requires Personal Leadership;
Personal Leadership requires Self-Esteem;
Self-Esteem requires Self Love;
Self Love requires finding Purpose in Serving humankind.

In other words, leadership starts with authentic self-expression that adds value through relationships. Leadership excellence is a function of the love one finds in the pursuit of a compelling and sometimes irrational dream.

http://www.randomkid.org

Young Talia Leman came up with an effective business model that empowers kids to solve global problems when she was only 10 years old. Even she admits she didn't know what her goal meant at the time.

What you do (as a leader) merely serves as the proof of what you believe. People don’t buy or follow WHAT you do, they buy and follow WHY you do it! Even Forrest Gump had hundreds of people who followed him as he ran across the country, not because they wanted to run (what he did), but because they wanted to experience running with him (why he did it). We are not always rational about following leaders, and leaders aren't always rational about where they are leading.

“True leaders exceed all rational expectations," as my friend, Russ Hagberg, says. Russ is the retired senior vice president and chief of staff for Santa Fe Industries and Santa Fe Railroad. Russ reminds me that when president John Kennedy challenged Americans to "go to the moon" by the end of the decade of the 1960s, he was irrational! But he was authentic and believable to enough people - the right people - to achieve what many people thought was impossible; and it happened long after his tragic death.

Remember, Martin Luther King gave the “I Have A Dream” speech, not the “I Have A Plan” speech. People still hold to that dream 50 years later. Even president Ronald Reagan asked the one thing of the former Soviet Union that few thought would happen at the time, "Tear down this wall."

What is your dream? Where do you really want to go that you've never been before? What must you tear down or build up to get there? What keeps you running? What do you love and believe in so much that, even though it may currently seem just beyond your reach, brings Cause to your every thought and action?

The measure of a leader is not just about enlisting people in a quest for new results. The measure of a leader is about enlisting people in a quest for a whole new world. Leadership is about enlisting people who choose to engage in a dream - even with their discretionary actions.

Strategic Advice for Job Seekers

2012-04-26T08:36:00.000-05:00

If you are involved in the non-profit world, as staff, board or other volunteer, check out the folks at goodWORKSconnect.org and their discussion group on LinkedIn. The LinkedIn group asks a "Question of the Week", some of which are especially good and generate informative discussions. I participate regularly, and the following is my response to a set of recent questions:

What advice would you offer to nonprofit job seekers?
What has worked for you?
What questions do you have for others about nonprofit job seeking?

A couple of things I learned in my many years, which include a long stint as a career coach... These apply for any position from door stop to executive director, and to for-profit and not-for-profit organizations alike.

First, most people have heard to align their mission with your values. You cannot align the two unless you know the two. On the side of your own mission and values, can you REALLY articulate them? (I find very few people can) Be absolutely honest, what do you want most and why do you want it? How do you want people to think of you? How does this show up in your daily behavior, your goals, your datebook and checkbook? Have you done the heavy lifting to discover your own mission/purpose? I also teach people to develop a "Skills Language" that includes "I am..., I can..., and I know how to..." skills. Personal mission and values can make for powerful "I am..." skills.

On the organization side, the same applies. Many organizations have mission and values on the wall, but they don't really mean anything or show up in tangible behaviors of the people of the organization. Look for tangible signs of integrity, which means wholeness - the talk and especially observable behavior that demonstrate values. Ask others, what is it like to work here?

Ask these questions in some tactful form, for example when you are interviewing for a job: Specifically, how does the position for which I am applying support the mission of the organization? (the closer the link, the more strategic the position, the better job security and fun you'll have!) I've read your mission statement and I'm curious, in your own words, what are the top three goals of this organization? (Listen for certainty and articulation; watch their eyes and you'll see if this is the first time they have thought about it in a while) What is really at stake with your Cause? (The key here is to remember that you're not just trying to get hired - unless you are really just trying to get hired ; you are attempting to "hire" the right employer.)

Look and listen for the "Why" of organizations that interest you. Most will do a fairly good job of "What" they do; "How" they do it will be an ongoing experiment with varying degrees of controls in place (hint: is there a real strategy? Are there proven processes in place that allow for continual innovation?)

But "Why" points toward the organizational Dream; What do the people of this organization believe in so much that, even though it may currently seem just beyond their reach, it brings Cause to their every thought and action?

Leaders are Chief Learners - Not Just Chief Learning Officers

2012-04-23T16:27:00.001-05:00

Of course, as a leadership coach I believe in leadership development. I believe in ongoing leadership development. Unfortunately, leaders often merely see themselves as Chief Learning Officers.

If you are comfortable right now with your situation and with yourself as a leader, then I predict nothing will change as a result of your having been a part of any kind of leadership development.

And if you think the people who report to you need leadership development and you do not, I predict this change: you will soon lose their respect. You may retain your leadership title, but you will have lost your chance to truly lead.

You are the leader. Everything else is a result of your leadership. This doesn't preclude developing others any more than developing others precludes your continued need for learning and development. If you want to cultivate an environment and support work that enlists people as drivers of their own destiny and inventors of the company's future, then lead by being the Chief Learner.

"Those who think they 'know' from the beginning will never, in fact, come to know anything." - Thomas Merton

Is the Problem or Solution Really "Conflict Management"?

2012-03-14T13:47:00.003-05:00

"Can you do a workshop on Conflict Management?"

How many times, over the years, have I been asked this question? Too many to count. I don't get asked much any more because people no longer see me as merely a "trainer" by profession, and my business clients understand the shortfalls of a workshop approach, let alone one on Conflict Management, which does little to effectively address the challenges they face. But a colleague recently posted a request for assistance in answering just that question for one of his clients, which led me to consider a few of my own basic tenets on the subject of conflict.

123RF Stock Photo

I'm no subject matter expert on conflict management, and I've not delivered a program specifically focused on Conflict Management, and I've never been in such a workshop that really did all that much for me, either. I do address the subject and nature of conflict in my work, however. Here are some thoughts and principles that might help you address some of the challenges you face in the grand category we call Conflict.

I love conflict. Conflict is the seed of innovation. The inner tension that exists in my own "undivided will" is the source of my own creativity, and innovation is merely the practical application of a creative idea. And the reason I love working with others so much is for the convergence of divergent ideas, viewpoints and feelings -- conflict -- which can lead to so many wonderful new creations.

So I never try to help anyone *eliminate* or *manage* conflict. I help them understand the nature of conflict, the source of their conflict, the effects of conflict, and how each of us handle conflict a bit differently. I help the people, especially leaders, in my client organizations appreciate conflict in a manner that allows them to create the most good from it.

Conflict: the convergence of divergent ideas, viewpoints and feelings.

The source of all conflict is unmet needs. When our needs are being met, we experience and create less conflict. As John Miller writes in his QBQ book, use the two most powerful questions to explore, resolve and make the best of conflict:

How can I help?
What can I do?

It's amazing what happens when, in the heat of an argument, someone takes a deep breath and asks one of these questions. Further, if you understand and use the Language of DISC, as well as Values Index and Attributes Index, you already know or can "read" other people well enough to be better at intentionally meeting their needs in the first place. You might use DISC as a basis for a worthwhile workshop, with this in mind. [But don't allow yourself to be sold on "understanding your own type" as the basic value of DISC; DISC has a much greater value in helping you understand others, "read" their behaviors and, therefore, better meet their needs, which is also the ultimate application of the Golden Rule.]

Are you familiar with the Goals, Roles, Rules and Relationships model? Conflict occurs at the lowest, Relationship level of this problem-solving model. Conflict can provide productive or destructive discourse at every level. Very often, people THINK the source of conflict is "Diversity" and all it's issues of politically correctness and personal differences. More often, peoples' basic needs (yes, I mean Maslow) are not being met, as mentioned above. They know they aren't "singing from the same sheet of music" (Mission/Goals), or they don't agree on or accept one another's Roles, or they aren't playing by the same rules. When the group gains clarity and mutual focus on the same Mission/Goals, their Roles, the Rules everyone agrees to play by, then conflict that was win-lose or right-vs-wrong, can now become right-vs-right conflict -- innovative conflict.

Sometimes, when we simply move from the attitude that "my idea is right, therefore other ideas are wrong" to "everyone has right ideas; let's patiently choose the best right idea together", we come to appreciate Conflict and we start asking for more productive meetings than workshops on Conflict Management!

Besides Miller's QBQ, I also recommend Charles Feltman's The Thin Book of Trust; An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work.

Hope this helps!

WHY is Your Cause

2012-02-23T10:56:00.002-06:00

"Share successful strategies you have used or seen used to advocate for your cause."

This was the question of the week in one of my favorite LinkedIn groups. The group is comprised mostly of professionals working for local non-profits and foundations, so cause is especially meaningful, but not more important than it is for any for-profit business. How do you engage others in your cause?

123RF Stock Photo

I am reminded of the board of directors for a quite successful non-profit with whom I worked recently. They had a well-crafted strategic plan, including a vision and mission that was serving them well, even though they called me in to review it - to help them "bring it back to life". When I asked the simple question, "Why do you exist?", they were stunned.

Uninspiring
I find that most people, and most organizations, have a pretty firm grasp of "What?" they do, and even "How?" they do it. Far too few know "Why?" they do. They fail to grasp, let alone articulate their purpose, their reason for existence; indeed, their CAUSE. As I work with individuals, teams and organizations, this reversal of interests is quite common, even epidemic.

Too often we try to sell people on our cause without even engaging them in that cause; we start with our answer to the questions, in this order, "What do I/we do?", then "How do I/we do it?", then -- maybe, if ever we get to it -- "Why?".

This explains why some people, teams and organizations are able to inspire and others are not. OK, so that's my "don't".

Why do we exist?
Here's my "do": Set aside that nagging question of "What do I (or we) want to be when I (we) grow up?" Instead, ask "Why do I want what I want? Why do I exist? What is my purpose? Why do I want to get out of bed in the morning? What ideal or ideal that may seem just beyond my grasp drives me to action? How will my life, and the world I live in, be different because I have the courage to take action on the thing that is most important to me now?"

Get me to listen and understand your CAUSE as you describe it in this way, and I'll be interested in what you do and how you do it. Most importantly, I will know whether I want to support you or even engage in your cause with my discretionary behavior, time and money. Don't get it backwards - most do.

That's why my promise - my CAUSE - is that I will help people understand and articulate their purpose as readily as they do their name, address and telephone number. Or as I typically put my CAUSE: "I help people with dreams become leaders with vision who add value through their relationships."

SPREAD THE WORD TO END THE WORD
I have another CAUSE, while I'm at it. I am the father of three sons: the two oldest boys are hockey players; the youngest one is a gold medal equestrian in Special Olympics. I hate to see any of them hurt, and some words hurt as deeply as other words can lift people up. So why not just lift people up? Please take a few minutes more (less than three!) to watch this important message.

Four Questions Every Team Must Address

2012-02-14T09:19:00.001-06:00

There are four key questions a team must address and continually review, iteratively and in sequence, to improve the ability to work together effectively, to be more innovative, and to improve performance. These questions expose key problems and point toward effective solutions.

Goals - Is the team focused on the same shared mission?
Roles - What roles does the team need to be successful? (Also: How and by whom  will each role be fulfilled? Do team members have mutual accountability and  understanding of one another’s roles?)
Rules - Is everyone playing by the same set of rules? This includes written rules  (policy, procedure, regulatory issues, written core values), processes, as well as operating  values and group norms.
Relationships - How are relationships competitive and collaborative? Teams that  operate with a clear, shared mission, where each member or unit knows its role, and everyone is “playing by the same set of rules” will still have conflict. However, conflict will be collaborate and innovative in form and outcome, a d be based on “right versus right” arguments. This is compared to “right versus wrong” conflict, which tends to produce dysfunctional relationships and inhibit team performance.

As a result of this model, creating a team culture where independent thinking and creativity, the combined emotional intelligence of team members leads to group consensus, innovation and mutual respect. Strategic thinking, planning and execution become part of the daily management practice of all team members. Team members no longer have the time or interest to “pick on each other’s personalities” - they are simply focused on the work that needs to be done.

However, relationships among team members cannot be ignored and there are certain activities and interventions that do make worthwhile improvements to relationships - positively effecting trust, communication, leadership, cooperation, respect and effectively leveraging the collective genius of team talents. These activities* can and should be addressed and practiced in tandem with strategic thinking, planning and execution.

*see more in my comments to this article.

Wax on. Wax off. Process Visualization

2012-01-30T15:29:00.000-06:00

You are either a goal-setter or you are not.
Generally, I find that most people are much like me in at least one way:

No matter to what degree I can define my vision for future creations before I begin them, these creations will likely evolve to become something different by the end of my creative process. At least, I hope so!

To merely envision outcome is not enough. In fact, outcome visualization is flawed. If you are capable of creating a highly specific definition of your precise outcome in advance, you are likely as capable of following through with commitment to that outcome. You may be successful, but with a high likelihood that the same blinders that helped you reach your outcome quickly will cause you to miss a multitude of possible options and improvements that would have markedly improved your final creation.

Unfortunately, this also describes one of the most popular reasons people use to avoid setting and achieving written goals. There must be a middle ground between living dogmatically according to predetermined written goal plans that limit options and unforeseen improvements, and not setting specific goals at all, thereby leaving your outcomes in the hands of "good fortune".

Process Visualization versus Outcome Visualization
Blogger/author Jonathan Fields aptly describes a productive and creative way forward in his 2011 book entitled "Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance". The answer lies in remaining true to a process that provides for intelligent adaptation during the process of creative evolution. Fields suggests instead of the strictly outcome-focused visualization approach built on "the quest for long-term, easily defined vision," we focus our visualization instead on "the need to take daily action in the context of any challenging endeavor."

Citing 1998 research by Taylor, Pham, Rivkin and Armor that tested the effectiveness of outcome-based visualization versus process visualization. First, both process and outcome visualization get people acting on their goals better than no visualization at all, so it just makes plain sense to set goals. Students who visualized their successful completion of projects were more likely to complete them on time. But students who visualized the steps needed to complete their projects were more successful than anyone to finish on time, and found their projects to be easier than the other two groups.

Wax on. Wax off.
Are you a goal setter? If yes, congratulations, you are already more likely to succeed than your non-goal-setting peers. Do you have a vision for success? I hope so, or else I would question whether you have a goal in mind at all. Can you envision the daily actions it will take to achieve your success, while allowing for your creative genius to leverage additional opportunities and possibilities that develop during the process of creation?

Here are a few tips:

First of all, don't just write down a goal and the action steps you think you'll need to achieve the goal. That's how most people try, but there is a better way, and I would be happy to show you the way through such a process.
Create a daily discipline of reviewing your vision, determining your must-do priorities, and committing to daily action.
Use a written goal-planning process to manifest your commitment.
Use your process and visualization of your process to self-regulate and stick to your ritual.

Leadership and A Good Life

2012-01-23T07:00:00.000-06:00

No few "secrets to happiness", or "easy steps to a great life", or "keys to effective leadership"...but a great place to begin a life of authentic self-expression that adds value through relationships is this:

Your attitude can always be improved.

Never stop examining your habits or developing better ones.

You will never outgrow the need for pursuing goals.

Be The One.

It all happens at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

The Right Questions

2012-01-19T14:57:00.000-06:00

"Never tell someone anything you could ask instead."

Stock Photos from 123RF

Join #TheRightQuestions dialogue!

What are the questions we should be asking ourselves?

What is your question?

What are your favorite questions for growth and success?

"Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers." ~Voltaire

For a while now, I have been posting tweets using the hash tag #therightquestions, exploring one of my personal and business core values, one that certainly shapes my professional role as a business coach: "Never tell someone anything you could ask instead."

I would like to know your Right Questions. What are the questions you ask that take you to The Intersection of Purpose and Now? What questions stimulate your personal drive, your muse, your courage to take action and create something new? What questions lead you to authentic expression that adds value through your relationships? What questions are you trying to answer?

Please share your questions with comments to this blog, join the 24/7 dialogue on Twitter or TweetChat using the hash tag #therightquestions, post to my Facebook page, or feel free to send me a direct message on Twitter.
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What else is possible?

This priority and value of questions is closely associated with another of my core values in business: No one knows your business, your life, your circumstance and desires better than you do. So I try not to do much telling. I ask questions. Great ones. Simple ones. Provocative and evocative ones. The right ones. I encourage you to do the same, because if you aren't asking the right questions, you are much less likely to discover your best right answers. After all, if you are not asking the right questions, how else will you know "What else is possible?" (By the way, this is also a basic but powerful rationale for hiring a coach instead of a consultant or trainer.)

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." ~ Dr Seuss

The folks at Big Think do something similar. They decided to turn the tables on five of their most eloquent guests who tend to ask "the right questions": "expert" guests were asked what questions we should be asking ourselves. As reported on the Big Think site, their "experts worried that many people aren't taking the long view about the future of their careers and of humanity, and pointed us down avenues of reflection meant to lead us to better individual futures and a better world." (You will find the Big Question expert video link at the bottom of today's blog, which will also take you to the other four videos.)

Below are a few questions from Think Big and many more from the #therightquestions history on Twitter. What ones will you add?

What are I my peak experiences and why?
What are my unique talents and how do I express them?
How do I use my talents to serve the needs of my fellow human beings?
Who are my heroes is history, mythology and religion, and why?
What are the archetypical stories that stimulate my imagination and inspire me to an idealist vision?
How can I make a difference without thinking about myself?
What can I do that makes sense in the broad context of this extraordinary world in the next 20-30 years?
What do I want? Why?
What gets you excited to get up in the morning?
What will people say you value most by seeing you in action today?
What's the contribution I want to make to the world?
What if you had more courage to take action now on that one thing that is most important, but seems just beyond your reach?
What noble purpose seems just beyond your reach?
How well will I embrace uncertainty, risk and judgment to achieve my priorities this year?
What happens to you if your heart creates visions that your brain doesn't yet know how to achieve?
What is the best advice you have ever been given?
How might you shift your thinking from old assumptions toward new ones? What happens when you do?
What assumptions lead you to the results you are getting?
What new assumptions could you try?
How are you building your life on Value today?
What are you tolerating? Why?
What are you avoiding? Consider the freedom you might experience by facing your foe.
How might you appreciate differently the challenges you now face?
How would a breakthrough change your life?
If you have not defined a balanced set of personal and professional goals: How can you prioritize them?
If you have not defined a balanced set of personal and professional goals: How can you attain them?
If you have not defined a balanced set of personal and professional goals: How can they motivate you?
If you have not defined a balanced set of personal and professional goals: How can you be successful?
If you have not defined a balanced set of personal and professional goals: How can you attract other successful people?
Until you define a balanced set of personal / professional goals: How can you live life with a “magnificent obsession”?
Would you follow you?
How are you aligning your values, Purpose, goals, roles, actions and relationships today?
Are your deepest principles and goals evident in your thoughts, words and actions?
Pick a value, any value: how is it playing out in your life and work today?
Are your personal breakthroughs fading?
Remember some of the breakthroughs you've experienced: how are you doing now?
Is this tension relieving or goal achieving?
When you argue with your excuses, who wins?
Facing an "unhappy" circumstance? Perhaps it's a Divine provocation?
Could you Be The One?

"Once the water is deep enough that you must swim to stay afloat, does it really matter how deep the pool is?" ~Seth Godin

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'" ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

How to Fix Your Resolve for 2012

2012-01-01T05:38:00.000-06:00

I've found that people don't achieve their goals (and resolutions) because they don't know how to make them in the first place. Try this proven method:

Make your Goal WAY SMART: Written, Aligned, Yours, Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistically High, and Time-bound. If it's not WAY SMART, it's not a goal.

Then ask WHY this Goal is YOURS: What are the personal rewards if you achieve it? What are the consequences if you do not? (Does it really matter to you?)

What are ALL of the POSSIBLE OBSTACLES that MIGHT keep you from achieving your goal? What has kept you from achieving it already? List them ALL.

For each obstacle, what is a possible SOLUTION(s)? (If you can't conceive possible solutions, even with help, you may need to reconsider your goal.

Choose your best solution(s) for each obstacle and develop specific, dated ACTION steps, as well as who must be ACCOUNTABLE for each action step (you may need help).

Based on your action plan, choose your TARGET DATE for Success.

List several positive, believable AFFIRMATION statements about the person you must be to achieve this goal. Repeat them out loud to yourself at least three times daily.

If you find yourself not taking your prescribed action steps when the time comes, look back at WHY this is your goal. If you are not taking action, perhaps you are letting your mood of the moment interfere with the intention of your life. Or, chances are it's not REALLY your goal at all, just something someone thinks you SHOULD do, whether you want to or not! (So it's not really a WAY SMART goal after all!)

Set and achieve goals and resolutions that are meaningful and important to you in 2012, and find your way to The Intersection of Purpose and Now along the way.

Don't Be a "Cop-Out" New Year's Celebrant

2011-12-31T09:51:00.001-06:00

Don't be one of those cop-out New Year's celebrants who say "I don't make New Year's resolutions."

Don't be a New Year's Weenie!

Resolve to do something important in 2012 (meaning: decide firmly on a course of action). Start something new, repeat something great, have the courage to take action on the one thing that is truly most important to you now, and follow through to its achievement.

Make a plan and execute it. Overcome obstacles. Get better. Don't give up until you win!

Remember the Parable of the Five Frogs:

There are 5 frogs sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left?

We don't know how many frogs jumped or how many were left on the log. Just because you decide to do something doesn't mean you do it.

In 2012, have the courage to take action on the one thing that is truly most important to you now, and follow through to its achievement. Inspiration leads to intention. Don't let your mood of the moment interfere with the intention of your life this year. Start living at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

Disruptive Passion

2011-12-01T08:37:00.001-06:00

When the going gets rough, the rough get going...but do they know where they are going? Value-driven leaders have a keen sense of Purpose.

You may recognize your deep desire for something more; I hope you do. You don't just want it; you need it. You need a "must do", a disruptive passion that gives your every breath, every moment, every thought, every feeling, every move clear purpose. What's the sense in doing anything without doing it On Purpose? Purpose can appear with reflection, but it's much more satisfying when it is a form of anticipation.

Purpose is a necessary ingredient of a meaningful life, no doubt about it. Purpose is your only weapon against the forces of mediocrity, status-quo, boredom, dissatisfaction and decay that, otherwise, will eventually win you over. These are the forces that hate your passion, your "heart's desires", your Big Idea, your purpose, and they will do everything in their power to bring you back to "the way things are".

Without Desire and Purpose, circumstances win. You tolerate rather than pursue. You react instead of pro-act. You are reluctant to act or you merely pass. The ubiquitous "They" will try to convince you to play it safe, and intimidate you into returning to the easy path they have chosen. They are powerfully convincing.

Passion, desire and purpose is disruptive. True passion, with purpose as your guide, will disrupt your life and the lives of those around you. But the rewards of change are growth, happiness, success, fulfillment, and significance in your private world, if not in your public world.

Goals can help you escape, but sometimes only to another cage. Goals are not enough, because goals too often give "ought to" and "should do" artificial urgency and importance

Know your passion. Articulate your deep desire in the form of Purpose. Test it against what you value most, against and your core beliefs. Then give it "legs" with written goals. Come alive with a unique sense of direction. Only then will you be able to schedule your priorities, rather than prioritizing your schedule.

Set a course for your true north and you'll never be completely lost. "Blow a certain trumpet" and the going may - no it WILL get rough...and you will come alive.

Becoming the Value-Based, Purpose-Driven Leader

2011-11-28T10:08:00.001-06:00

"If you are not self-reflective, how can you know yourself? If you do not know yourself, how can you lead yourself? If you cannot lead yourself, how can you lead others?" ~Harry M. Kraemer, From Values to Action: The Four Principles of Values-Based Leadership

I have coached hundreds of people over the past 20 years, and there are a very few common issues that all have sought to address, or at some point recognized their need to more clearly articulate. First, one must recognize that circumstances do not define you; your response to circumstance defines you through your attitudes, daily habits and goals. Second, understanding, articulating and following one's purpose is the first requirement of leadership.

This is what it takes to lead and to live at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.
So when I coach you in leadership, and provide a proven process, structure and world-class materials for leadership development, I always clarify that you already have your REAL materials: they are in your own agenda - identifying, articulating, testing and measuring the kind of leader you are trying to be, and passing this on to others.

Robert McDonald: Value-Based Leadership
In this inspiring and informative 2009 presentation at MIT, Bob McDonald, the Chairman, President and CEO of Proctor & Gamble presents 12 beliefs he has been working on and periodically changing for about 20 years. These beliefs represent his values and purpose. He offers them not for you to replicate so much as to inspire you to develop your own leadership beliefs. And he provides an excellent example, indeed.

People like to work for a leader that's predictable.
Nothing happens without leadership; it is the most precious and scarce resource in the world.
Living a life driven by a purpose leads to a more meaningful and rewarding life than simply meandering through life without a purpose.
Everybody wants to succeed and success is contagious. Spend your time catching people succeeding. Further, leaders “take responsibility for things even when they’re beyond our control.”
Putting people in the right jobs is the most important trait of a leader. People "get the best grades in the course they enjoy the most."
Character is the most important trait of the leader. Character is about putting the needs of the organization above your own needs. People will follow a leader whose ambition is for the organization. Further, a key to a leader's character is to “take responsibility for things even when they’re beyond our control” and never make excuses.
Diverse groups of people are more innovative than homogenous groups of people.
Ineffective strategy, structure and systems are bigger barriers to achievement than the talents of people. Leaders must provide these. Put good people into a bad process and the bad process will win.
There will be some people who will not make it on the journey. Leaders have such good relationships and continuous feedback with people that they know before you have to tell them. You help them recognize the tension and identify other careers which offer greater promise for them.
Organizations have to renew themselves. Growth requires change and leaders have to create the change. Help the organization and the people in it get ready for change and develop new capabilities. The distinguishing characteristic of people who succeed and those who don't is their ability to learn. [Great question for any team or organizational leader to ask: "What's going to turn us into a boiled frog?"]
Recruiting is a top priority (especially if you want to only recruit from within - every hire could be a future CEO).
As a leader the true test of character isn't what happens in your organization when you're there, it's what happens when you're not there.

From the West Point Prayer:

"Choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong."

Value-Based Leadership

McDonald begins at 5:05. McDonald allows questions from the audience at 42:57, and perhaps the best questions comes at the very end.

Question: How do you internalize these things and make sure they are right there when you need them?
Answer: When you have to teach something, that's when you really learn it. Write it down. Share it with the people around you. Have and engage in a process of renewal.

For those searching for purpose, McDonald recommends this practical written exercise: list organizations to which you belong, and their dominant values; note lessons learned from your family, memorable life and educational experiences; then turn this into a set of beliefs.

Great leaders seek great help. If I can help you email me at askthecoach@pdncoach.com.

Creating Value

2011-10-24T11:28:00.001-05:00

123RF Stock Photos

I have a rather innovative coaching client who is an entrepreneur in the information technology business. One of the many great things about being a business coach is the opportunity I have to witness the birth of some truly great ideas. I often get to see them just as they first germinate, much like a forgotten acorn buried underground begins to spring forth toward what will eventually become a mighty oak tree.

My client burst forth with another new idea recently and, of course, began to struggle with marketing questions right from the outset of product invention. How much should it cost to the customer? I suggested a very basic question he should consider is this: Should his pricing strategy be built on volume or margin?

He wisely replied, "I want it built on value."

Value is the issue, and a couple of other things that will help your decision-making with regard to marketing, sales and product launching:

Difference between Marketing and Sales - Marketing is having the products that people want to buy; and Sales is helping people buy what they want from you (and/or your network).
Three Elements of Cost - Financial, Time and Change. Remember the difference between these three elements, and the nature of their currencies.

Value is produced from the prospect's Commitment to Change
You can tap into a prospect's Commitment to Change to increase their perceived value of your product (for example, with your marketing language and sales strategy).

People want to buy what they need from someone who understands what they want.

Do you understand what your prospect's value?

How might you help them recognize their own Commitment to Change, so they will buy what they want - no more or no less - and so they will buy it from you?

Letter to a Person Being Coached

2011-10-21T11:34:00.000-05:00

Following is a letter that I send out to every one of my coaching clients at the end of what I call Phase 1 coaching. All my clients receive some form of this letter, whether I have coached them as individuals or they are part of a cohort, whether their reasons for hiring me were to increase sales, become a more effective leader or more satisfied in their careers.

If you have benefited from having a professional coach, how does this letter speak to you? If you have never enjoyed the many benefits of being coached professionally (Why not? :), how might this letter speak to you anyway?

Find your potential inside.

Congratulations on completing Phase 1 coaching! By now, you have put yourself in control of your own continuous development. You have not just completed another training program; you have learned what it takes to create sustainable change.

You should have a deeper sense of who you are, who you want to become, what you want to achieve...and how you will be successful. You have a plan for developing your potential to become the leader you can be – one that will make greater contributions to the ongoing success of your organization.

Leaders are made, not born. In fact, everyone has a capacity for leadership. It’s just that few use it. Those few have developed their leadership skills and a passion for life that attracts others to them. They have a clear sense of purpose for living, they continually achieve goals based on that purpose; in fact, they live life on purpose...and it shows. They improve the quality of life for themselves, for their families, for their organizations, for their communities and for the world around them.

Unless you plan to stop living, your goal-setting and goal-achievement days are never finished. If you have not defined a balanced set of personal and professional goals:

How can you prioritize them?
How can they motivate you?
How can you attain them?
How can you be successful?
How can you attract other successful people?
How can you live life with a “magnificent obsession”?
How can you make life a “magnificent obsession” for the people around you?

Attitude is the magnet that will draw your desired results into view – IF your attitudes are positively charged. If your attitudes are negative, they will push you away from your goals. Will you need to face the negative attitudes of others? You bet. Just remind yourself that it is your belief and attitude that will determine your success. How you lead your life not only determines your future, it also determines the future of those around you. You are responsible.

What is your future and how will you invent it? How will you help others invent the future? Your future and the future of your organization will be determined by your ability to guide, direct, coach, and motivate individuals towards the accomplishment of goals through a continuous process of goal setting, planning, achieving, and evaluating. You have the tools you need to be successful, to evaluate continuously where you are and where you want to go.

“Courage becomes a reflection of a growing desire to become the kind of person you want to become, to have the kind of life you deserve, and to be the successful leader you are meant to be.” When you do what you say you are going to do, you will know what it really means to be complete, balanced, whole...to be successful.

Every life has a reason. Discover your purpose; test it by living each day On Purpose.

With great admiration,

Mark Sturgell, CBC ~ "Your coach for life"

Preparation

2011-10-19T10:18:00.002-05:00

Preparation = the action or process of making ready or being made ready for use or consideration.

Preparations = something done to get ready for an event or undertaking.

When you think of "being prepared", you most likely are thinking and acting intentionally; you are doing something now to ready yourself for something else in the future - something anticipated and planned. I believe - no, I KNOW - there is another kind of preparation, the kind that transcends our own intentions.

Perhaps your current circumstances, actions and thoughts are also preparing you for the unanticipated.

Then
In 1988, I took a promotion, quite frankly, to escape from a rather evil new boss. I actually turned down the promotion three times before accepting the fourth offer. The job required me to make an undesired relocation to an undesired line of work - a direct service position helping people with disabilities become employed.

The executive who kept offering me the promotion knew my situation; he also knew my talents, perhaps better than I did. I turned down the offer three times because:

I did not want the job.
I did not want to live in the community where I would need to relocate.
I wanted to find my own job to pursue my writing and media relations career, not do job placement for others!

But I was becoming desperate and unable to find a position that met my expectations. I finally told the executive that the only way I would take the job was to "buy myself some time", and that wasn't fair. His response?

"Mark, take the job. I think you will be great in this position; I think you will come to love it and I think you will stay for a long time. If you do, you've done me a favor. If you don't, and move on quickly, I've done you a favor."

I took the job. I stayed nine years. I become very good at it, helping more people into gainful employment than most of my professional peers. I completely recreated how the job is done, and began accepting speaking and training engagements on how I achieved success by doing things with a new approach. I wrote a self-published book to help my clients. After nine years, my work earned me an opportunity to move into the training and development field (five years directing a university-based corporate training operation) and today I am a business coach and founder of my own successful business (for the past nine years).

I didn't know those unfortunate circumstances would lead me to a whole new career, to discover my purpose. I didn't know this move, for which I was completely unprepared, would lead me into Right Livelihood.

For nine years, I wondered "Why am I here? Are you preparing me for something?" I asked God the same questions in my prayers and spoke about it with others. I got specific, too: "God, are you preparing me to be the parent of a child with disabilities?"

Now
In fact, I was being prepared for the life I now lead, not only starting my own business and the incredible opportunity to make a living at the work I do, but in August 1998 I became the parent of a child with Down Syndrome - my incredible son, Ryan, who is now age 13.

Sure, I now make my living helping professionals in business prepare for the future, develop vision, achieve goals, satisfaction and success. I help people with dreams become leaders with vision - the purpose I discovered during those nine years of working with people with disabilities. But I also respect the unknown, those things that are beyond our control, even beyond our knowing or anticipation.

I respect those things that are beyond our anticipation yet for which we are being prepared, for which we are intended. Do you believe this? What might happen if you did? How might you appreciate the challenges you now face differently?

Pick a Value, Any Value

2011-09-21T05:30:00.000-05:00

Everyone says they have Core Values, even though most people cannot say exactly what they are.

Many people want to live by a well-articulated set of Core Values, but struggle with getting just the right ones identified, named or described.

Everyone seems to claim honesty and integrity as basic values, but few use these as a measure of their thoughts and behavior when they are conscious of being at an Intersection of Purpose and Now.

What is most important to you?
What is so important that it supersedes all other criteria for your decision-making and behavior? These are your core values, and I don't believe you can discover or accurately label and describe them by sequestering yourself away with a pen and paper.

Pen and paper are necessary, but they must be accessible in daily living; handy when you face a dilemma, a challenge, a problem, a decision of any kind, so you can write down what really is most important to you at the time.

Another simple, and rather fun way to identify your most important values is what I call Practice a Value a Day. [Follow the link for more in-depthy description and a list of values.]

Pick a value, any value - courage, forgiveness, cleanliness, hope . . . - and practice that value for the day. Apply the value at every opportunity and see how it changes the opportunity. See relationships differently, both the close ones and the "drive-by" ones, through this value. Create opportunities to exhibit the value.

At the end of the day, ask this question: How did this value play out in my life and work today? The ones that create great answers to this question, the ones that create a story you want to share with others, are most likely to be Core Values.

Regardless of what you learn about yourself, you will find just strong is the link between positive values and a wonderful life.

What do you want: Training or Results?

2011-09-19T07:36:00.000-05:00

Communication training often has little effect on desired results.

Until you know what you want to communicate and why, learning how to communicate better isn't all that helpful.

The purpose of communication is to elicit a desired result.

Show me a person with a message to convey, a desired result to achieve, or a desire to understand, and I can help that person improve his or her ability to communicate.

Leadership training often has little effect on desired results.

Until you know the direction you want to go and why, learning how to lead better isn't all that helpful to anyone.

What makes any person a leader is his or her ability to achieve results and enlist others into achieving desired results.

Show me a person with the ability to establish a specific direction for his or her own life, and to proceed in that direction with the self-confidence that comes only to one who knows where he or she is going, and I can help that person strengthen his or her ability to lead. I can help him or her discover that specific direction. I can help them get their desired results; I can help them get to where they really want to go.

Team Building often has little effect on desired results.

Until your team knows its mission and purpose, any so-called "team building" activity isn't all that helpful.

The purpose of team building is to improve a group's performance and attitudes by clarifying group goals and clarifying members' expectations of each other so that the team achieves its goals.

Allow me to work with a team to clarify its mission and goals, to create mutual understanding of one another's roles, to reach consensus on rules and group norms, and I can "build" a highly motivated, top performing team that produces intended results. Relationships will become less of a distraction; conflict will be less of an inhibitor and actually begin to contribute toward innovation and performance.

Training often is merely an excuse to say "we did something", and has little effect on desired results.

Sure, a lot of organizations send people to all kinds of training then hope that they can better produce the desired results. There is a better way: define the results - then develop people and processes to ensure those results are achieved.

Can Your "Servant's Heart" Serve You?

2011-09-16T08:39:00.001-05:00

I have been working with a coaching client recently who has spent more than 20 years of her career serving others through various roles in the association management profession. Now, for the first time in a long time, she wants to focus on her own needs and desires more, and make plans to relocate to an idyllic new home "near mountains and water" where she can create some "me time", as she puts it, while still pursuing her career. Perhaps you are a little bit like this, too?

Among other issues, I am coaching her through a process to envision, explore, choose a new location, and begin the process of moving to a new home and lifestyle. A rather unique goal after 20 years of coaching, I might say!

I have found that people such as her, who have what I call a true "servant's heart", struggle with time management; they often have a hard time saying "No"; they take on too many responsibilities by choosing their own projects yet also accepting responsibility for others' interests, too. Even the assessments I use - DISC, Attribute Index, Values Index... - vividly confirm her extreme other-directedness. All of this describes this wonderful, giving person with whom I am working.

We recently discussed a sometimes difficult dynamic: How does someone who has invested a lifetime dedicated to serving the requests and demands of others shift her focus toward pursuing her own needs and desires? Below is a slightly adapted version of what I wrote to her as a follow-up to our discussion.

"I hear you describing how you let the urgencies of other people's lives become the most important thing in your life, and that you've done this for years now - to the point that it feels natural if not exactly 'right'."

I love you just the way you are.
Do you know one of the things I love most about you? I have found many people who are on a journey to develop more of a "servant's heart"; you, on the other hand, already have a remarkable servant's heart. I love that about you! Perhaps that's one of the things you love most about yourself, too?

I have a hunch about you, too. In a few key ways, your servant's heart seems to create some personal dissatisfaction for you at times, making you leery of changing how you do things because you don't want to risk "giving up" being a servant, even when it's in our own best interest.

No one, including me, wants you to do away with your remarkable servant's heart. However, I hear you sharing with me a downside to servanthood over and over again, whether you realize you are saying this or not. I hear you describing how you let the urgencies of other people's lives become the most important thing in your life, and that you've done this for years now - to the point that it feels natural if not exactly "right".

Living in "reaction mode".
So often (not always) the requests, interruptions, expectations, failures, crises, changes and lack of planning that others bring to you on a daily basis become your utmost priority. This creates the potential to live in "reaction mode".

As a result, the commitments that other people want from you tend to determine your priorities; others determine your schedule. How your day goes depends on how "pressing" those requests are to the people who bring them to you, on any given day or week. Their lack of planning (and respect for your time) puts you in crisis.

The urgency of the moment, which the people around you produce, causes you to forget the intent of your day - or even the purpose of your life. You end up merely prioritizing your schedule. Your real priorities and your own desires get set aside until they become urgent (or forgotten), which produces pressure, stress, long days, all the things you have described to me that you want to change.

You have another choice.
Another choice allows you to serve people as much as you always have, but it may require you to see your circumstances in a slightly different way. That is, YOU determine what is important now and what is urgent based on your own priorities - your own values, short-term and long-term goals. This doesn't take away your servant's heart because your gracious heart still informs your priorities and choices.

You want fewer interruptions, for example, so you "train" yourself and others to allow fewer interruptions. You get more work done at home, so you identify what it is about home that works and begin to shape your environment at the office to be more like that. You want different circumstances with your work contract, so you provide those decision-makers with a choice to make instead of assuming you need to sacrifice more out of a personal sense of duty.

"Success is the continual achievement of your own pre-determined goals, stabilized by balance and purified by belief."

What do you want?
In many different ways, you can begin to schedule your own priorities rather than just prioritize what's already on your schedule. You can do anything you want with a servant's heart. That's what I love about you.

75 Ways to Be The One

2011-09-13T09:58:00.002-05:00

"As you aspire to inspire your teams with greatness may you take a moment to commit yourself to the following…"

These are words of Daniel Newman in the introduction to a blog article he wrote called "Be The One: Thoughts on Leadership". Daniel wrote this wonderful and inspiring piece recently after learning about the #BeTheOne hashtag on Twitter from Tristan Bishop. #BeTheOne was created by Bridget Haymond and me to inspire others to lead from within, regardless of your position in life, with or without the title of leadership. Daniel helped me realize that, although I have tweeted extensively using the #BeTheOne tag, I've never blogged specifically on the subject.

Thank you, Daniel, for inspiring what follows, a compilation of 75 of the #BeTheOne tweets that I have posted over the past year. [Read more posts from me and other contributors, as well as transcripts from our monthly "Tweet Chats" on the Be The One blog, hosted by Bridget. Our Tweet Chats occur on the first Saturday each month at 8:30 a.m. Central U.S. Time]

Could you BE THE ONE? You don't have to be called the leader to be a leader. Think of leadership as:

“the ability to establish a specific direction for your own life, and to proceed in that direction with the self-confidence that comes only to one who knows where he or she is going.”

Your struggle to lead is the point; that's where new possibilities are born. And remember, the attitude of a leader is more than just positive; it is directional. Use these as your leadership lesson plan or simply as daily affirmations. Make the rest of your life about Being the One Who . . . leads.

Who opens the door to discovery for someone else today.
Who resists speaking with authority in order to listen with leadership.
Who develops a keen sense of Purpose that gives way to decisiveness, shared values, noble spirit and a clear sense of direction.
Who has the courage to take action now on the things that are most important to you.
Who recognizes you cannot focus on what's really important unless you have discerned what's really important.
Who never tells someone anything that you could ask instead.
Who asks great questions that require reexamination of assumptions, beliefs, conclusions and commitments.
Whose outlook defines your circumstances rather than whose circumstances define your outlook.
Who continually seeks to achieve what before seemed just beyond your reach.
Who is most alive when you are loving and actively giving yourself to serve others.
Who remembers you cannot change what has happened, but by golly, seeks responsibility for what happens next.
Who is more than just a dreamer; you help others pursue their dreams.
Who cares more about being a leader than being recognized as one.
Who finds purpose in your work, which transcends any tedium, routine, ambiguity and chaos of your day-to-day life.
Who finds it amazing how picking up the "litter" where you live or work can brighten the days of those who live and work near you.
Who identifies and tackles a problems that, once solved, adds value to the world around you.
Who explores the limits of your ability to experience life and add value to the world around you.
Who is prepared to accept the grace that people have to offer you.
Who takes time to meander, refocus and discover new energies.
Who is the hero of your own story. The sooner you realize you're in an epic adventure, the sooner you can begin your quest.
Who lives with intention. Without clear vision, all else is left to chance.
Who does not allow your mood of the moment interfere with the intention of your life.
Who seeks to see your circumstances in a new way, creating new possibilities and choices that did not exist a moment earlier.
Whose authentic self-expression adds value to the world around you through relationships.
Who leads with conviction and tests your convictions by leading.
Who brings energy and innovation to every circumstance. Only boring people get bored with life.
Who restores a noble spirit and values to your workplace.
Who has moral courage that only comes through practice and habit.
Who lives On Purpose each day remembering: the possibilities are endless.
Who deeply appreciates your friends.
Who expects great things. Your boundaries today are set by your own expectations.
Who cultivates an attitude of praise. You never know who you might be encouraging.
Who goes beyond looking for good to often finds it. Create good and always finds it. Make this a good day.
Who leads and knows when to get out of the way.
Who understands the change required of you to produce the change your want to see around you.
Surprises people with the good will you show to them each day.
Who may come into circumstance by accident, but stays or leaves On Purpose.
Whose fiercely serious ambition lives in harmony with pure merriment.
Who does not need authority because you have personal influence.
Who is courageous. Without courage we may be admirers but not champions of virtue and character.
Who knows that leadership is not about having followers; it is about having values, direction and purpose.
Who wants joy, therefore chooses it daily and shares it generously.
Who chooses to use your time wisely. All of tomorrow is not worth five minutes of today.
Who does not fall into the trap of pitting expectations agains priorities. Focus on what matters most.
Who focuses your affirmations on "I can", "I will" and "I am who I want to be."
Who recognizes the glory in others. There are no "ordinary" people.
Who recognizes that doing the right thing at the right time begins with knowing the right thing before it's time.
Who writes your best lessons in the white space of daily living.
Who asks, "How can I help? What can I do?"
Who lives for Cause rather than comfort.
Who looks at life and either makes it work or makes it better.
Who purifies your actions with your beliefs.
Who stays focused on your own horizon of influence.
Who explores and says "Let's find out", giving a hearty "Yes" to adventure.
Who humbly plants your own garden rather than live in envy of your neighbor's harvest.
Who understands there may be more than one right answer.
Who lives with integrity - a point of reference others may follow and find their way.
Who chooses your best attitude even when you cannot choose your circumstances.
Who uses CREST each day: Communication, Respect, Encouragement, Safety and Trust.
Who gives a helping hand when it's NOT convenient.
Who is prepared to lead through chaos, crisis and change.
Who explores ideas thoughtfully for creative complexities, rather than settling for pithy judgments and quick, firm conclusions.
Who is slow to judge and simply responds with "That's interesting." (or maybe "Bless your heart!")
Who allows others to lead.
Who knows you don't have to be like the crowd to change the crowd.
Who cares less about being right and more about giving light.
Who is an "angel's advocate" rather than a devil's advocate.
Who is becoming the one someone needs you to be.
Who is content neutral and process focused when necessary to collaborate and achieve team synergy.
Who values values.
Who seeks first to inquire, then advocate.
Who understand the difference between conjecture and reason, between reason and wisdom.
Who remembers there is a difference between sententious and pithy, between smart and wise.
Who seeks to be remarkable - that you might have a valuable influence in the lives of others.
Who sleeps well each night because you lived well each day.

Be the mom. Be the dad. Be the child. Be the sibling. Be the friend. Be the neighbor. Be the citizen. Be the colleague. Be the servant. Be the leader. BE THE ONE.

You can do anything, but you cannot do everything. Have an On-Purpose day!
The biggest gift you receive today will likely be a small thing you do for someone else.
Everything the farmer does is to bring in the best harvest at the right time. How about you?
No one falls in love with you. They fall in love with how they feel when they are around you.
I want to be sincere. I want to be true. I want to be transparent. I want to be authentic. I want to #BeTheOne when I'm needed. Join me in the search to be remarkable at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.