tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890Tue, 21 May 2013 17:25:18 +0000BeingJokingMaking/DoingEndorsingCelebratingEatingReminiscingCouplingParentingFrettingBloggingSnappinghttp://beanpaste.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Melanie)Blogger287125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-2451302869126069855Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:58:00 +00002011-12-06T15:37:36.791-07:00ParentingBeing So, let's say you have a sweet little girl, a little girl who has always been quirky and different and in possession of a great deal of sparkle.  Let's say you send her off to kindergarten to a really promising charter school with an arts emphasis.  She loves art!  The school is funky and non-traditional and specializes in learning differentiation. Let's do this!  With the help of an amazing http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2011/12/post-i-have-been-writing-in-my-head-for.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)113tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-8264031827738425353Tue, 06 Dec 2011 07:48:00 +00002011-12-06T00:48:10.420-07:00ReminiscingBloggingBeing And in the ensuing year, I have become a reluctant, foot-dragging expert about every last one. 1. Learning Disabilities 2. Homeschooling 3. Homeschooling Someone With Learning Disabilities 4. Going to Disneyland 5. Coupons 6. Losing My Religion (Again) 7. Secular Humanism 8. Public Art Installations 9. Sending Someone With Learning Disabilities to Plain Old Public School 10. Lice (http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2011/12/one-year-ago-i-knew-very-little-about.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-5379954623572837975Thu, 23 Jun 2011 19:43:00 +00002011-06-23T13:43:50.389-06:00ReminiscingSnappingTeacup Joy from Melanie Flitton Folwell on Vimeo. PS: Jimmy and I laugh like crazy people. Which is probably about right.http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2011/06/happy-happy-faster-faster.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-802056553610474281Fri, 17 Jun 2011 00:00:00 +00002011-06-16T18:11:34.615-06:00BloggingHappy anniversary, sad little blog!  I got you a shiny new robotic header just for the occasion.  Sorry about all the spammy comments drifting around here like so many electronic tumbleweeds, tumbleweeds with promises of penis enlargement and compliant Asian girls.  Bad tumbleweeds!  We'll clean this up, promise. http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2011/06/one-year-anniversary-of-last-blog-post.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-3289567577478450776Tue, 15 Jun 2010 07:21:00 +00002010-06-16T01:45:23.049-06:00BeingJoking  me: Hey, Mom, we can video chat with gmail!  Let's just do that since the Skype thing didn't work out.me: Did you get that?Hello??? 8:28 AM Debbie: Today? me: Just now.  It'll be right up there in your gmail.  I'll send it again.  Melanie is inviting you to use Google voice and video chat. Get started at http://www.google.com/chat/video  I just did it again.8:30 AM Mom, you have to closehttp://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2010/06/teaching-your-mother-how-to-skype-when.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-8818883207360272316Mon, 14 Jun 2010 15:19:00 +00002010-06-14T09:20:43.751-06:00Parenting So, I'm updating my blog and, given the lame rarity of that event, I'm illustrating it with a flying pig, a flying pig lovingly crafted by Ellie as my Mother's Day gift.  She actually just walked past and exclaimed, "Oooooh!  Click on my pig!  You really LOVE it don't you?"  She's right.  I really love this pig.  Were it not for my daughter and her unique color sense, I would have never noticed http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2010/06/pigs-they-are-flying.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-2950770903938676883Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:02:00 +00002010-02-13T14:02:40.991-07:00JokingCelebratingLong ago, in the distant days of February 2008, I presented these valentines for your enjoyment. So, back by very-little-to-no-demand, here is a new batch of adorable vintage Valentines for printing and giving and enjoying. Adorable! Vintage! Capable of addressing your very specific romantic problems!  And, just like before, There Will Be Clowns. Happy Valentine's, http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2010/02/valentines-from-me-to-you-and-also-that.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)92tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-5349499978746696872Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:05:00 +00002010-01-01T22:05:06.131-07:00Being You were such an exhausting and nutty and unpredictable year that we're still recovering. On the couch, likely in pajamas. Tell your buddy 2010 that we've got big plans for the fresh year, just as soon as we get dressed...http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2010/01/dear-2009.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)46tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-9151109013007435742Sat, 26 Dec 2009 07:51:00 +00002009-12-28T00:52:52.627-07:00Celebrating http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/12/and-happy-new-year.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-7372470668196262223Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:11:00 +00002009-11-08T02:31:39.426-07:00CelebratingMaking/Doing Ellie and I decided to glitter pumpkins again this year (which really didn't help with the DEFCON 2 Glitter Situation), and you have no idea how much a five-year-old girl gets out of slathering a pumpkin in glue and sparkles.  Well, maybe you do.  If you don't, it looks something like this: Glittering is intense business for a five-year-old, is what I'm telling you.  SPARKLE MOTION! We wenthttp://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/11/halloween-decorations-2009-liberace-but.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-8700204331977944058Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:08:00 +00002009-11-06T09:19:13.693-07:00SnappingCelebratingMaking/Doing http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/11/pumpkins-punkins-photo-essay.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-2234510792650791867Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:11:00 +00002009-11-03T21:04:32.723-07:00CelebratingMaking/DoingAfter last year's turns as the Lollipop Guild Munchkin and the Cowardly Lion, Ellie decided that she and Jimmy should be Glinda the Good Witch ("You know, Mama, that big, pink fairy?") and the Tin Man, respectively.  This is how things frequently go these days: Ellie makes a decision, Jimmy lives with the results.  He's Cuba to her Soviet Union.  The actual results: Pretty cute!  See?  http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/11/no-actually-it-is-preciselythe-time-to.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-206808857303623129Sun, 01 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +00002009-11-02T00:00:35.551-07:00Celebrating More tomorrow, pumpkins. I'm bushed...http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/11/halloweiners-sneak-peek.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-2905056800888098739Tue, 27 Oct 2009 04:40:00 +00002009-10-26T22:50:55.617-06:00ParentingCelebrating ...I fell madly in love with a tiny, wrinkly, bald man, one who soiled himself and slept a lot and was completely fixated upon breasts. And, though I was skeptical at first (as I usually am when a penis is involved), we seem to be going the distance. Because, come on, would you look at the punim?http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/10/three-years-and-million-lifetimes-ago.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-1456689598864782231Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:20:00 +00002009-10-26T15:21:52.615-06:00Coupling Once upon an October afternoon seven years ago, when this man and I vowed to spend the rest of our lives together, come hell or high water, boom or bust, and walked out into the bright, crisp world and noisemakers clanged and the blue, cloudless sky glittered with cadmium-yellow leaves, I knew that October would always be ours. This October, sadly, has been another story.  Our anniversary http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/10/seven-year-kvetch.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-2677031618586635848Sun, 04 Oct 2009 04:06:00 +00002009-10-05T23:12:28.041-06:00ParentingCelebratingEatingMaking/Doing So, here's another installment of What I Did With My Summer Vacation, wherein I threw a Mermaid Birthday for my big five-year-old girl.  Her demands were simple: "I really want a mermaid cake and then we can throw water balloons."  Done and done-er, pal: I don't know how many years I have left of sweetly simple requests like those, but I'm going to savor every single day that goes by without http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/10/mermania-but-sadly-not-kind-inolving.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-4276173587335264937Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:09:00 +00002009-10-01T14:59:55.279-06:00ParentingWell, hello, October! It was cold--COLD--last night, and we woke up to a crop of dead tomato plants and an alarmingly frigid toilet seat.I caved and flipped on the heat for the first time since April, and when the furnace roared forth, it pumped that hot, metallic, burning-dust-odor through the house, like an electric burner left on too long.Jimmy padded into the room, inhaled deeply, and said http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/10/chilly-with-chance-of-maple-syrup.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-7799437864313025712Fri, 25 Sep 2009 17:56:00 +00002009-09-30T11:08:52.792-06:00JokingEatingMaking/DoingEndorsingBack during the first week of August, Americans (nay, the world) celebrated a trifecta of Really Important Birthdays: Martha Stewart on August 3rd, Barack Obama on August 4th, And ME, Melanie Anne Beanpaste on August 5th. (I will tell you: it was simply exhausting making it to all three parties, but I put on a brave face.) Here is Barack Obama with his birthday cupcakes:There is nothing about http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/09/martha-stewart-be-bitin-me-yo.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-2701885310355006511Wed, 23 Sep 2009 04:07:00 +00002009-09-22T22:36:40.903-06:00SnappingBloggingBeingSo, last we spoke, we were fresh off a star-spangled Fourth, replete with sparklers and fresh cherries and impossibly green summer lawns. And now it is officially autumn(!), and I have shamefully not updated this blog in weeks, and I'm trying to figure out a) where the time went and b) why I'm such an epic wiener, though not as epic as this wiener:In a magical fruition of a childhood (OK, http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/09/that-is-what-id-truly-like-to-be.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-910434124506695170Sun, 05 Jul 2009 07:19:00 +00002009-07-10T01:27:17.548-06:00SnappingCelebratingCherries, sparklers, wading pools, hamburgers, Springsteen, watermelon, squealing, blankets in the grass, daisies, ribbon Jello, drinks on ice, lime popsicles, baked beans, friends, family, fireworks, FRIENDSHIP PAGODA BURNS DOWN, amen.http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/07/star-spangled.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-7253535116635507648Sun, 21 Jun 2009 19:15:00 +00002009-06-23T16:22:19.246-06:00ParentingCouplingCelebratingI have this husband, and my kids have this father, and the three of us would like to take this holiday weekend to talk about him a little. Forgive our sentimentality: he makes us weepy.Nearly every Saturday morning, he gets up with the kids and makes waffles or pancakes from scratch and scrambled eggs and warm blueberry syrup. He chats with them and does the dishes and then they watch old http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/06/because-we-didnt-get-him-that-worlds.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-6080596922141503474Fri, 19 Jun 2009 22:13:00 +00002009-06-23T16:17:08.173-06:00SnappingSomeday my pockets won't be filled with rocks and weeds and fungi and.....no. No, who am I kidding: they'll probably be like that long after the kids are gone.http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/06/contents-of-post-walk-pocket.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-1989033505839923920Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:22:00 +00002009-06-15T13:45:53.736-06:00ParentingJokingEllie and Jimmy were playing Tiny Little Plastic Animals, and Jimmy's pig was following Ellie's horse everywhere saying, "Hi! Hi, Mama? Hi!"And she finally turned to his pig and said, gently but firmly in a horse falsetto, "I'll be your friend, but I can't be your mother. And we're not getting in love."Well played, kid. Now don't forget to change the locks.http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/06/file-under-things-i-should-have-said-to.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-7716161140851454396Mon, 08 Jun 2009 04:12:00 +00002009-06-08T01:09:10.898-06:00ParentingReminiscingSnappingThis, people, is what happens when the hose water is too delicious to resist, and you drink far more than your share of the delicious hose water, and though you have no bum or hips or body fat to speak of, you end up looking...swollen. With child. (In fact, this photo is making me physically uncomfortable and suddenly stricken with the urge to pee and complain loudly about my heartburn.)Take http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/06/order-of-belly-with-side-of-baby-back.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858262397636370890.post-290067385684415659Wed, 27 May 2009 01:51:00 +00002009-06-04T02:37:19.883-06:00SnappingBeingOn Memorial Day weekend, my mom, Ellie, and I snuck out of town for a badly needed, completely invigorating, whirlwind girls' weekend in Seattle. Traveling with one child, one four-year-old-girl-child, is really the bee's knees.Behold, some of the pretty (and pretty cheap) wonderment: The head of a giraffe, a giraffe so close to my camera that he nearly bumped into the lens. (You can count his http://beanpaste.blogspot.com/2009/05/cheap-thrills-in-seattle-aka-choosing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Melanie)23