Awesomeosophy

Me, according to Amazon...

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 04:15:00 +0000

I logged on to Amazon.com today, and I was browsing through the recommendations they had for me. At the bottom of the page, they list a number of categories that they thought would sum up my interests. They are as follows:

Action & Adventure Afghanistan British Business & Investing Classics Cognitive Psychology Comedy Conservatism Decision-Making & Problem Solving Economics Family Saga Finance Foreign Exchange Futures Grant, Cary Leadership Management Politics Statistics Stocks U.S. United States War Women World Literature

It's quite a telling picture really. All except for Cary Grant, I'm pretty sure I bought those movies for gifts.

I Don't Care!

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 09:21:00 +0000

I always like to compare major news networks' homepages to see what stories they have headlined. Currently, as I type this, at 4:58am eastern time, Fox News' big headline is about some lady who's kid got snatched by a person pretending to be an immigration agent. I don't care. I couldn't care less. It's not that I'm calloused to people's problems; I am quite capable of empathy, and on rare occasions, even sympathy, but honestly, this is not national news. CNN's big story is that a "controversial former Japan official is found dead." Once again, you guessed it, I don't care.

Furthermore, I can count about 4 stories on CNN's home page that I am even remotely interested in. Meanwhile, I'm pretty interested in every other story on Fox's front page. The only story on their page I'm not interested in is this mess with some ladies kid, who she got back, then lost to the state because of "safety concerns." Why do I know about that? That's exactly the point I'm trying to make, just from skimming their home page, I know far more about this person than I ever cared to know. Meanwhile, we have real issues going on all around us! No wonder the public is so damned uninformed. The media is baffling us with bullshit!

There were eight troops killed in Afghanistan today. From the front page of both sites, that's all the information I have. Eight US lives lost to a war that Obama ignored to go lobby for the Olympics that most citizens didn't want, but I know no details about it unless I click on the story. Meanwhile, I know that some Japanese guy got drunk at a news conference earlier this year, and he is now dead, oh and also some lady lost her baby, but got it back, only to lose that child, and several others for being a bad parent.

This is a travesty. Our citizenry, if you can call it that with a straight face, is asleep at the wheel. We accept mediocrity in every arena of life. We glide through life as if this is a dress rehearsal. We put off changing the things that need changing in order to be vaguely entertained by other people's dramas. That is bullshit. We currently have two wars going on, even though people like to pretend that one is over, and the other one, well, they are still trying to decide if they are going to call that one quits or not. We have Iran building nukes, or at the very least working on it. We have natural disasters a plenty, that's at least somewhat newsworthy, (of course, those stories always get hijacked to push the "green" agenda). I could go on and no about the real issues, there are more than enough of them to fill a page.

I care about the big issues, but when it comes to personal problems of people I don't know, and will never know, particularly problems that are brought about through bad decision making. I DON'T CARE! My life isn't interesting, and neither is yours. We all have our own shit, and ultimately, nobody cares but you and yours! In the last year I've had gigantic, life altering events, which I alluded to briefly in a post entitled, Sometimes Life Kicks Your Ass, beyond that, you don't know about them. Do you know why? Because you don't care! And neither do I.

(I've edited this post about 4 times since publishing it, mainly because I typed it in a pissed off hurry. I'd like to point out, that I understand that if you are reading this blog, you are probably at least somewhat like me, and therefore, don't care either. In fact, I expect to accomplish nothing from this post, other than to rant to the anonymous masses who may someday read this).

Bowel Movement Bandit

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 05:53:00 +0000

I know that the title of this post may be a bit misleading. However, I must explain to you, I do not steal bowel movements. No, far from being a turd thief, I am referring to my recent propensity to steal the reading material out of the community bathroom of my work place. It seems that if you put a book shelf in a bathroom, people are going to stock it with their leftover magazines, and on rare occasions, books.

You may remember a recent post where I explained this whole phenomenon in more detail. Well, I have hit the jack pot over the course of the past week or so, and felt that I should share. I have now stolen three "The Economist" magazines, or would you call them journals? I'm not sure about that one. Also, I just now, in the past ten minutes, stole "The Life of Andrew Jackson" by Robert V. Remini. It is an abridgment of his previous volumes, but it should be a great read. I know that the Militant Archivist will be pleased.

Don't watch Sean Hannity...

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:34:00 +0000

Or else you'll be as pissed off at the crazy liberals as I am. I swear, the Fox News Hannity show has been hitting the nail on the head this past week, of course, the Socialists have given ole' Sean plenty to rant and rave about. Have you all seen the video of the school children singing the praises of Obama? First off, WTF!? If that had been Bush's name in the lyrics of the songs they were singing, the main stream media would have lost their mind, the ACLU would have stepped in, all hell would have broken loose. Instead, Hannity got pissed, and CNN said "well, I don't really see what the big deal is, that happened 7 months ago." Are you serious? What is the statute of limitations on crazy radical teachers and school administrators indoctrinating children?

Also, I've been seeing the coverage of these protests of the G20 summit in Pittsburgh. I had no idea how many Americans hate capitalism. Once again, are you kidding me?! Seriously, someone has to be joking. Hannity had two college girls, (they would call themselves women, but where I come from, that implies that one has their shit together and handles their own issues), so I will call them girls, anyway, they had no idea what they were arguing about. They were against capitalism, but I'd like to know who was paying their tuition, and how they would've been able to go to that school if it were not for capitalism. One of these girls even said "why does anyone need to make more than $500,000 a year?" At that point I was standing up, screaming at my television, "because they fucking can!" These leaches, these parasites, they feel like people who are wealthy are obligated to share their money with those who are not. If that kind of thinking makes sense to you, then please comment, and come back often, I would love to know how people come to that kind of conclusion, so maybe we can find a way to counter it. God knows that reason, logic, and facts hasn't worked.

You are all insane.

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 07:43:00 +0000

Not you guys, I mean the other ones...well, yea, probably you too. So, I've been watching the news more lately; I try to balance it between CNN and FoxNews, so I can get the proper amount of liberal horse shit, and balance it out with the same amount of conservative horse shit. I tend to buy the conservative horseshit more, but I get distracted by all of the entertainment news, and the sensationalism. Yesterday I was trying to figure out if the Congressman from SC was a racist, which, he probably is, I mean, he does have a southern accent, and you know how all of us southerners are, oh wait, isn't that stereotyping? I was about to apologize for digressing, but I think in order to digress, one first has to have at least a somewhat coherent thought, and right now I'm just kind of letting the bullshit that's been swimming around in my head pour through my fingers. Stinky.

Anyway, getting to a point, perhaps not the point, but a point nonetheless, I don't care if this guy from SC is a racist, not in the least. I think we're all a little racist, I mean, it's natural to be bias toward the people you are most like, and against the ones you are least like. So, yea, I figure we're all a bit racist, or if you are more comfortable with it, ethnocentric. I'm not necessarily "against" anyone else, but by default I am more "for" my group, so, there you have it. Well hell, I can't back that up, I do hate people who waste my time, cloggers, of all shapes, sizes and colors.

Read this one quick guys, I figure I'll end up deleting it when I go back and reread it and realize it doesn't actually say anything!

I steal things.

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:57:00 +0000

The place I work has kind of a neat situation in the community bathroom. There is a book shelf where everyone will leave the various magazines that they subscribe to, or books they have finished, so that the other relievers can enjoy them. It has always been kind of an unspoken thing, but I don't think you're really "supposed" to take the books from the bathroom. Of course, if nobody did, they would all end up pretty disgusting.

The past few days I have taken a brand new Men's Health, and Men's Journal...and just now I found "The Intellectual Devotional," sounds like perfect reading for the guy who steals community property from the shitter.

Sometimes life kicks your ass...

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 09:12:00 +0000

...and you just keep coming back for more! I've had a lot of developments in my life in the last couple of months, some of them absolutely wonderful, and others absolutely terrible. I've learned from all of them, so I suppose I can't complain, but the one lesson that has really stood out is, "life takes work!" Seriously, it isn't hard to just exist, but once you get a little skin in the game and start doing somethings that matter, well, then it's actually possible to get your ass kicked. Unlike someone who stays on the sidelines and never enters the arena, they usually don't get too banged up.

This book might help with the apocalypse...

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 02:25:00 +0000

I ran across this book, Emergency, by Neil Strauss, at Timothy Ferriss' blog, basically it is the story of how a liberal city boy learned how to be a gun toting, self reliant, survivalist minded member of society. There is some good stuff in the book, but so far it hasn't been very instructive. I would have liked to see more actual hands on advice, but it is a good read nonetheless, besides, that information is available elsewhere. Once I'm done with it I'll give a more thorough review.

The Alpha and the Omega...Seamaster

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:00:00 +0000

For most of the Bond franchise our hero has relied upon a vast array of gadgets and technological crutches. However, in his latest incarnation, James Bond has returned to the human element of being an international man of mystery. He has put aside the rocket pack and the floating cars, and instead has learned some serious parkour and major ass-kicking. Not to mention the quick wit and confident charm that has always been a 007 calling card. Of course, he still has his a couple of standard tools to help keep him alive and stylish, one of these is his trademark Omega watch.

Throughout the history of Bond, 007 has worn a vast array of watches, but for the past few films, he has chosen to wear strictly Omegas. Of course, advertising dollars has had an influence on that, but maybe not as much as you would think. In Casino Royale, when Vesper asks if he's wearing a Rolex, and he responds, "no, it's an Omega," I said to myself, "wow, what blatant advertising." However, in a recent trip to a jewelry store to ogle watches, I met an Omega representative who told me that they did not pay for that line, it was simply a part of the script. This was extremely impressive to me, that Omega had managed to brand themselves so well as "James Bond's watch" that the writer of the film included as a prop without monetary compensation. This led me to ask, what's so special about this watch?

At first glance, it is obviously a nice watch, but after doing more research I found that I started to fall in love with the understated elegance of it. The Omega Seamaster 300m is basically the same sort of watch as the Rolex Submariner, which, with date, retails for about $5800, the Omega is listed at $3400. They are both stainless steel dive watches that are capable of going deeper than people, so that isn't a concern, but the Omega is the only one with a clasp extender to fit over your super secret spy wetsuit. Also, I got into reading about the Omega's movement, it has a co-axial chronometer movement. Now, I'm not an expert, so I said, "what does that mean to me?" Basically it has to do with the accuracy and durability of the watch, rather than having to be serviced every 5 years or so like most automatic watches, this one can go 10 years. Bonus.

On top of all of the great features of this watch, there is no denying the looks. This Omega looks comfortable and at home in any situation, from shooting terrorists in the face with a silenced Walther to bluffing a giant pot, wearing a tuxedo in a high stakes poker tournament. In my opinion, that is the epitome of Awesome, confidence and comfort in any situation. Well done Bond, well done.

Born again Awesome!

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 02:01:00 +0000

For anyone who has been following this blog at all (not that I've really given you much to follow), you will notice that I made some changes. There were various reasons for the changes, but what it really boils down to is my level of commitment and seriousness. I wondered what would happen if I actually spent a bit more time and money on this little endeavor. Come to find out, I didn't need to spend much of either to make a huge strides in the professionalism of my site.

The first big change you may notice is the color, I moved from black to white. I have been noticing for a long time that the black minima layout on blogger is hugely popular, I mean everyone has it! It's a great layout, don't get me wrong, but if I was going to lay down a little skin, I wanted to look a bit different. So, I went with a white, slightly customized minima layout. Not bad. Someday I may try to get one designed or even, gasp, learn how to do it myself, but this works for now.

The second big change you will notice is the name. I moved away from "Get Swinked" (what the hell did that mean anyway?...actually "swink" is an archaic German verb, meaning 'to labor or toil' so in essence, it meant, 'get worked' weird.) Getting back on track, I decided to officially coin the term "Awesomeosophy." I'm definitely not the first to say it, but I'm the first to register the domain, score. I chose this name because A: I am awesome, B: I'm trying to get more awesome, and C: it gives my blog a theme to shoot for, the study and exploration of all things awesome. This will mean a lot of reviews on things that I find that I deem awesome, and rants and raves about things I find not-awesome.

The third big change I made is the registering of a real domain name so I could drop the noob sounding ".blogspot.com" from the end of my URL. I've been putting it off because I "didn't want to spend the money." Well, guess what...it costs a whole $10 to do. That's right, for $10 I get one year of registration, and my blog is already hosted on blogspot, oh, and I also get Google apps, so now I have email addresses with the domain... @awesomeosophy.com. Want one? I get a whole bunch of them, and I don't know that many people.

Top 10 Ways to Piss Me Off With Your Blog.

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:07:00 +0000

If you are like me, well, you probably aren't, but if you are a fellow "blogger" who also likes to cruise through the blogosphere, checking out other blogs, then you may be able to relate to this post. I am sick of blog monetizing, search engine optimizing, fluff writing, hacks who some how manage to build up a cult following of thousands of mindless idiots, all commenting on their site, just hoping and praying for a link back. I am subscribed to about nine blogs, out of those nine, there are about three of them that I actually read, and only one that I ever comment on. So, without further ado, here is the list of how to piss me off with your blog....

1. Fill your blog with countless "top 10 lists." There is nothing I hate more than when someone declares themselves the "expert" on any given subject.

2. Put no new information in your "top 10 list" but still present it as gospel, and give absolutely no references to where the information may have come from.

3. Tell me what I already know, but make the assumption that I obviously couldn't have, since I'm a big enough tool to be reading your blog in the first place.

4. Insult me by making statements like, "once you learn to do (insert whatever bullpoop you are selling here) then your life will be much easier, better, etc..."

5. Give me a one sentence introduction, then a link to your other blog site. What a tricky way to build your traffic on both blogs!

6. Guests posts by your sycophants that spew the same BS they bought from you.

7. Be named John Chow.

8. Refer to John Chow as if he is some kind of blogging messiah, the dude figured out how to drive traffic to his site, guess what, there is a sucker born everyday.

9. Ripping off magazine articles without giving credit to the original author, and yes, I have seen this on several occasions.

10. Did I mention that I really hate "top 10 lists?"

Moving toward the holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:14:00 +0000

Well here it is, mid November already, how did that happen? It is hard to believe that we are moving quickly toward another turkey day, and another home invasion by some big fat man in a red suit. It's that time of year where the waistlines grow and the wallets shrink, but I'm trying to reverse that effect. I have been working out fairly hard lately, I know, I know, you've heard it all before, but I mean it this time. My money depends on it, I have a physical fitness test in January. No big deal, but still, something to keep me motivated.

I will be posting a workout log soon, right now my weights are too low and embarrassing. That's not true, I have no shame, but I just haven't been keeping very good logs. I ordered some new supplements today, and I'm pretty optimistic about them, so I'll be doing a review of them as I take them. So, that should aid in reversing the effects of the holidays, and should help me actually shrink my waistline.

Now, in the quest to expand my wallet, I've been investing a lot of time in my financial education. That, and soaking up all of the info that Paul over at www.paulezimmerman.com puts out. He really does a lot of the hard work for me, in regards to Forex trading. Hopefully within the next year I'll be able to tell you all how I turned $2.00 into $2,000,000.00. Haha, we'll see.

What would a Samurai do? (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:47:00 +0000

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark would burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
-Jack London

Lately work has been very busy, and since the number of hours in a day are limited to twenty four, my sleep habits have been blown all to hell. I've recently started to realize that my work performance has been suffering, as well as every other aspect of my life. I have been toying with my schedule, sneaking in power naps here and there, drinking tons of coffee, and basically just trying everything I could think of to get by. Well, what I've learned is this, I'm going to be tired regardless, so screw it, I have obligations, and I'm going to meet them head on.

When I say obligations, I'm not just talking about my commitment to my boss, or my job, I'm mainly focusing on my obligations to myself. When I was much younger, I was fascinated by the Samurai of feudal Japan. As I grew up, I based a lot of my own personal value system off of the Bushido, which is the way (-do) of the warrior (bushi-). The Bushido is a pretty complex value system when you really get into it, but one of the chief themes throughout all of it's tenets is duty. Duty to one's master, duty to one's clan, family, etc. This point of view served me well during my time in the in the military, and it has been my guiding principle for as long as I can remember, however, in the past few years, my commitment has waned.

I have allowed myself to become complacent, I no longer guard my thoughts and actions, in short, I have grown lazy. I find that I spend much of my time wishing I were some place else, or even in some other time, whether it is a pleasant memory from the past, or an exciting fantasy about the future. Something that I've lost sight of is perhaps the key too all of the Samurai philosophy, and that is the constant awareness of the fact that death is right around the corner.

When you hold that realization in the forefront of your mind, and constantly remind yourself of it, your whole life takes on a sense of urgency that it previously lacked. How can I allow myself to half ass anything I do today when I know that I might not have a tomorrow, or a next week, or a next year? Am I going to glide through day after day because I didn't get "enough sleep?" Or am I going to suck it up, and do my very best? What would a Samurai do?

How do you eat an elephant?....Why would you eat an elephant?!

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:09:00 +0000

“Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind.”
-Leonardo DaVinci

When I actually make the time to post on here, I spend a lot of time focusing on the obstacles that I encounter in my own daily life. I do this for a couple of reasons: one, I think that it is a good tool to assist me in holding myself accountable, and two, I'm sure I'm not the only one facing these challenges. One obstacle that I keep running into is my lack of patience. Recently, that lack of patience has led to a huge upset in my Forex account. If you remember, I posted recently about "How to lose a lot of money trading Forex..." well, that's pretty much exactly how it happened yet again.

You might be asking yourself, "how could you be dumb enough to use the same method that had already proven to be unsuccessful?" Well, that's a good question! I could be insane, or maybe I'm just impatient.

I'm sure it's a little of both, but that's not terribly important. What is important, is the corrective measures I'm taking. Everyday I'm going to be doing something to make myself better. To become a better ______ or become better at ______. I'll fill in the blanks as I go. This is all in the spirit of one of my original posts, "Getting Awesome!" and it is going to be a step toward getting back to the original mission of this blog. Through this exercise of becoming a better human, I'm hoping to increase my ability to serve the world around me.

This is going to be an extremely long process, lifelong to be exact, so it is also going to be a real test of on of my weakest traits: patience.

Get Awesome steps of today: I worked out, I blogged, and I will do some zazen before I hit the rack.

Sometimes life just kicks your ass.

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:05:00 +0000

Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through. It is potential liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death.
-R. D. Lang

Have you ever woken up evil? I did today. It is a bit worse than waking up "on the wrong side of the bed." On days like today, I feel like I would be better off if I could just stay in bed all day. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, that isn't the world I live in. I have obligations and commitments, and all kinds of other big adult words for bs that I have to do to get by. On days like today, it is very easy for me to lose sight of the bigger picture, I'm too blinded by some kind of irrational rage at all of the little imperfections of life.

I'm of the belief that life is a big school, where we learn, and grow, and ultimately reach some higher level, whether it's spiritual, referring to the afterlife, or maybe just figuring out what is important in this life. Either way, I think it's a journey, and the destination will work itself out, we just need to focus on the path. On days like today, I can't even see the path.

I finally got over my "evil" feeling from this morning. By the afternoon, I wasn't fantasizing about slapping people indiscriminately anymore, but I had settled into a kind of nonchalant apathy. I think it was the only way to make it through, to just kind of disengage. I guess you could say I skipped school today, because I hadn't done my homework. The bad thing is, life doesn't need you to be a willing participant to teach you a lesson. So, with life being the arena, and the lessons getting harder and harder, today I feel like I got my ass kicked. Oh well, I guess that just means I need to step up the training.

How to lose a lot of money by trading Forex!

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:15:00 +0000

If that title isn't obvious enough, this is a post about losing money by trading currencies. To give you a little background, I have been interested in forex (foreign exchange) trading ever since I first heard about it, but I never knew what trading platform to use, and honestly it all seemed just a little too good to be true. Well, that was until I ran across a blog from a person who was having some success with it, www.paulezimmerman.com

So, a few months back, I started a practice account on www.oanda.com. They will let you work with any amount of money you want, and you can play around with it and see how you would do, trading exactly like you would if you were using real money. After about three months of piddling around with my practice account, I decided that I had it figured out and made my first real deposit. Well, I was down about 40% the first week, I didn't even realize that was possible! I have since clawed my way back up to -35%, but I have learned so much! I have realized that my trading style changed when I started using real money. I was no longer willing to allow a loss to run it's course and come back into a profit. I also started playing "catch up" after each loss and jumping in as a price evened out and started to head the other direction, against me.

I have been experimenting with a longer term trading style that I learned from Paul in the aforementioned blog. It is a very solid system, but with the amount I have on deposit right now, it would take me about four months to get back to even, so I'm trying to refine my "scalping" so that I can shave a few dollars of profit here and there until I get even. Although I'm still a bit concerned about losing more, but I'm going to be much more careful than I have been in the past.

So far I've learned a few lessons:

1. Pay attention to the news! I had positions open that were very vulnerable to economic news, and that is how I have lost large amounts in short periods of time.

2. Tie yourself to your desk! I know that some people enter their trades and then walk away, but if you are day trading, I just don't think this is smart. The only times I've had catastrophic losses were the times that I left trades in volatile pairs open overnight.

3. Don't commit your entire account to one currency pair at one time! If you only use a small percentage of your account, no more than half, then you can afford to ride losses out until they either come back into a profit range, or at least become a more manageable loss, but if you have your whole bankroll committed, you will be margin called.

4. Nothing sucks worse than a margin call! This actually happened on a practice account I had, but it still sucked. There is nothing quite as frustrating as watching all of your profits disappear, along with about half of your starting capital.

5. Don't risk more than you would be willing to lose! Day trading Forex is a lot like poker, in that, it is gambling, but more controlled. A good Forex trader can make a very handsome living by sitting at their computer for a few hours a week, but a bad one could lose everything they have. The same is true of poker players, the best ones can grind out a very comfortable salary, but the bad ones lose everything.

6. Forex is a zero sum game. If you're winning, someone is losing, you just have to be on the winning side more often than not, and you can come out ahead.

7. The opportunities are limitless, in both directions. As fast as I lost all of that money, someone else was making it. The sky is really the limit with Forex trading. With the amount of leveraging allowed, and the resources available to traders, it is entirely possible for a regular joe to turn a very nice profit from his home computer.

So, in true underdog fashion, I have taken my licks, and I'm going back in for more. I'm just going to make sure I keep my hands up this time, and hopefully get in some solid hits myself.

A little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing.

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:13:00 +0000

As all of you have seen by now, I suck at keeping up with commitments. I think my big problem is that I have a hard time focusing on the path, and I end up getting discouraged when I look at the destination. I understand the problem here, but changing this pattern has been one of the most difficult endeavors I've ever attempted. This blog is a perfect example. I had some goals in mind when I started this blog, but I soon realized how far away they were, and I ran out of steam. The same goes for my workout routine, diet, meditation regimen, etc.

I have heard the saying before, that "a little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing," so I'm back at it. Lately I have had absolutely no motivation to write, and every attempt I have made has quite honestly been a big load of crap, so I haven't posted it. This post isn't much different, other than the fact that it is going to get posted. I once wrote a post about getting rid of writer's block, so I went back to it, and I realized I gave some pretty good advice there, now I'm finally using it!

Happy Memorial Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Mon, 26 May 2008 17:32:00 +0000

I had a long Memorial day post all planned out, but honestly it was mostly negative. I basically just wanted to complain about all of the people out there who ignore Memorial Day, and have no idea why it's even a holiday. I just want to say to everyone out there who has shown support to the troops, past and present, thank you. And to all of the people who have served their country, thank you for your service, some people still get it, and appreciate it.

Mostly, I want to spend some time thinking about our fallen brothers in arms, no matter what people say, anytime a person gives the ultimate sacrifice in service to something greater than himself, it is not in vain.

Some fitting quotes for the day...

"It's Tommy this, and Tommy that, And chuck him out the brute,
But it's 'Savior of his Country,' When the guns begin to shoot!
- Rudyard Kipling

"For God and the soldier we adore, In time of danger, not before!
The danger passed, and all things righted, God is forgotten and the soldier slighted."
- Rudyard Kipling

"Si vis pacem, para bellum"
("If you want peace, prepare for war!")
- Flavius Vegetius Renatus (ca 390 AD),

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"
- Edmund Burke

Pay attention, or the lessons get harder

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Fri, 23 May 2008 15:46:00 +0000

Today I learned a lot, so I can't really call it a bad day. Of course, I probably pulled one of the dumbest stupid human tricks of my life, so while it was happening, I couldn't call it a good day either. Basically, while at work, I did something very very dumb that resulted in an injury, and took me out of commission for about half the day. Those consequences pale in comparison though, to what this particular little incident did to my credibility. I went from being one of the top performers to making the leadership question whether or not I was a liability.

I'm not going to go into specifics about what I did, but let's just say that the last time I did anything remotely this dumb was the time I decided to walk up the banister of a friend's deck, and I fell off after reaching the hight of about 10 feet. What I did today was even more rediculous, but not quite as serious. The whole situation left everyone, including myself, wondering, "what the hell is wrong with that guy? He must be such an idiot." Little did I know, this incident would shine a bright light on a problem I've been encountering a lot lately, and that is putting far too much stock in what others think of me.

I believe that we are all here to learn and to grow, so in that vein, I've been trying to shine light on all of the dark parts of my self, and attempting to enlighten them. One aspect of myself that I thought I had done a great job on was fear. I am not afraid of a thing; war, been to a few; skydiving, awesome, lets do it again; public speaking, I rock it everytime; bugs, eat them raw, or cook them first?; snakes, much better cooked....I think you get the point. I grew up as a pretty fearful child; I didn't like the dark, the water, and a lot of other things really freaked me out, but I worked hard to overcome all of them. I suppose the fear never quite went away though, because now I have an insecurity that runs deep.

I usually mask it with a false bravado and a kind of "I don't care what you think" attitude. I would say that at least 75% of that attitude comes from the fact that I know most people will buy it, and that it will get me some of the respect that I'm insecure about not getting. This is really taking a lot to put this out on a public domain, but I think it is a big enough break through that it should be shared, just in case anyone else feels the same way. There are a lot of aspects of the way I act, and what I do that are influenced by what I think people will think of me. Also, if I don't think that I'll be any good at an activity, I won't try it, or if I do try it, I will make sure that I act like the clown, that way if I suck, people will say, "he wasn't really trying." I'm so afraid that I won't live up to some standard, that oftentimes I never even get in the arena. I've seen this problem in myself before, but I obviously haven't corrected it.

Even though I made the conscious decision to do what I did, that resulted in my injury, I believe that it served a higher purpose. Now, I'm not going to get into a debate about predestination, fate/freewill, because I don't know how that kind of thing works, but I do believe that God/the Universe/whatever presents opportunities to us for us to learn, but if we keep ignoring them, they get louder, and less ignorable. This lesson was pretty hard to ignore. I spent all of this time building a confident shell around the little insecure fat kid that I still carry around inside, but one stupid human trick cracked that right in half and showed the world just how thin my skin could be. Now I'm faced with more embarrassment than I could've really imagined, and I've realized something huge....It's not that bad.

I've got quite a few looks and chuckles, and a few better friends have said, "dude, you're a dumb-ass," but all in all, people are less worried about what I do than I had imagined. This leads to an even greater realization that really should have been a real "no brainer." I am not the center of anyone else's universe, probably not even my own. At the end of the day, everyone has their own concerns, their own fears, insecurities, problems, etc, and they don't really give a damn about what stupid stunt I pulled, or the 10 lbs. I put on during vacation, or how much weight I can move in the gym. In the end, the only person who has to be ok with who you are, is you. When looked at from a greater perspective, this life is a flash in the pan, a good 80 years or so is all anyone could ask for, there is absolutely no sense in wasting all of your energy and awareness on trivial matters that are beyond your control. You can barely control what you think, you could waste an entire lifetime trying to control what others think.

So, take to heart some of what I said and do some careful self analysis, because if you don't, the light might just keep getting brighter until eventually you burn yourself on it.

Big boy rules.

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Wed, 21 May 2008 10:47:00 +0000

It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him.
- John Steinbeck

Have you ever had the kind of boss who constantly expected the worst out of everyone? I'm talking about the kind of guy who treats his employees like convicts, and acts as if he's the warden. The military is notorious for this kind of leadership; at times I would say it even promotes it. I couldn't even begin to recall the number of "leaders" I had who used this sort of fear based leadership style. To me, this is the lazy person's form of leadership; best suited for those too weak to be respected on their own merit, so instead they seek to tear others down.

I've been seeing this more and more lately, in a number of different environments, and I've noticed that the more a leader attempts to control his subordinates, the more supervision they require. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; when a boss treats all of his co-workers as if they are worthless, they in turn, stop doing any more than that which is absolutely required of them, and become essentially worthless. I think that the basis of this thinking goes back to the whole concept of personal accountability. A boss/leader who doesn't expect his subordinates to be responsible for themselves will soon find that they aren't.

There is a phrase that I really like which sums up the idea of personal accountability; "big boy rules." It is basically what it sounds like, act like an adult, take responsibility for your actions, weigh the consequences, make your own decisions, and most of all, handle your own shit! If only we could live by those rules. Unfortunately we will always have that 10% who are going to screw up, but that is no reason to treat everyone as if they are going to screw up.

The best leaders I ever had were the ones who I followed not because I was afraid of what they might do to me if I messed up, but because I was afraid of letting them down. I had leaders who gave me more than enough rope to hang myself and them, but they trusted me, and because of that, I rose to the occasion. Since then, I have endeavored to become a strong leader like that, to earn respect through my own actions, rather than demand it through the fear of punishment. So far it's worked, and if I'm ever in a situation where it doesn't, well, I probably shouldn't have been there anyway.

As usual, what is true on a micro level, is also true on a macro level, so I see these same issues within our political system as well. The Republicans believe in allowing people to play by big boy rules, but the Democrats think that they know what is best for us. I don't understand how anyone can look at Socialism and think that it is a fair and just system, of course, that is assuming that socialists actually care about what is fair and just. America was founded on the rights of "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...," that sounds like Capitalism to me, not Socialism.

That reminds me, Paul Zimmerman, from www.paulezimmerman.com, wrote a post recently discussing Capitalism, and I really like the way he explains the differences between Capitalism and other social systems. I couldn't sum it up as well as he does, so I really encourage you to go see what he has to say about it. Lets just hope that people start realizing what a wonderful system we have before it's too late, and we let the big boy rules go out the window, only to be replaced by big brother's rules.

I must not be paying attention...

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Tue, 20 May 2008 16:04:00 +0000

...because I'm frigging bored! I don't have much to write about, but that's my own fault. I am pretty busy these days, but really, who isn't? I am going to start committing more time to blogging here, I really am, I just have to get focused and find some subjects that motivate me. Lately Forex has been the only thing I've spent much of my free time on, and that can definitely be time consuming when you don't know what you're doing. I'm slowly getting it figured out though, (thanks Paul!) and will try to start giving you all more updates once I get my real money account funded.

Well, I guess I'm off to bed soon, I missed my gym time this morning because I stayed up too late last night. Keep checking in, and eventually there will be some new content.

Quantity, not quality!

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Mon, 19 May 2008 01:22:00 +0000

Ok, so I think some of my old blogs are pretty decent, but lately I haven't even been putting out crap, I haven't put out a thing. So, for right now, I think I'm just going to try to get on this damn thing and write something, anything, everyday. Keep reading, because there just might be a gem thrown in from time to time, but don't count on it!

Today I did get up and go to the gym, I didn't really hurt myself, but I did break a sweat. I've found that at least 90% of the battle is just getting out of bed, 5% is then getting to the gym, and then the last 5% is actually putting out while I'm there. In addition to my physical fitness, I need to also start giving more attention to my spiritual and mental fitness. I have become quite lazy with my meditation practice these days, and I need to get back to it. In order to meditate, you don't have to sit in the lotus position and contemplate your navel, you can make any activity a meditative practice, just look at the Japanese. Anything from drinking tea, to hacking people up with a sword is an art form for them, that is because they focus all their attention on it, and they are totally aware.

Awareness is what it all comes back to. Sometimes I lose entire months without realizing they have ever come. For instance, it is now the 18th of May, I have absolutely no idea where the rest of May went. I can remember certain events, but I don't remember what happened 4 days ago. "No Ordinary moments" is the way I would like to live, but it is a constant challenge. I get bored far too easily, I think that is just a matter of not paying attention. There is always something happening if I could just be more open to it. Well, I'm just rambling at this point. Take care my friends!

ok, I suck at blogging.

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Sun, 18 May 2008 15:33:00 +0000

I haven't felt very compelled to write lately, which could be partly on account of my innate laziness. I swear, I've got the work ethic of...well, I can't think of anything with a work ethic like mine, so I'll just say I have a work ethic like no other, and it's damn near nonexistent. I guess that's not really true; if I care about something, then I really give it my all, but I have a hard time committing to activities that dont interest me.

One thing that has interested me lately is Forex trading, my practice account is going really well so I'm finally opening a real one. I have to really give a lot of credit to , I've learned a lot on Paul's site and he is the one who first turned me on to www.oanda.com as an online forex brokerage. I'm really optimistic about my future with it, and I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes.

As far as PT goes, that is an endeavor that always kicks my ass. I've been getting up early and going to the gym this past week, I took the past two days off, the weekend, but I'll be back in there early tomorrow morning. I'm really hoping to get back down to the weight I was at when I was in top shape, back in the Corps. It's a bit harder without people yelling at you, but I'll find the discipline.

It seems like the trait as of late has been to half ass things, and to avoid doing the things I need to do, that's definitely not going to fly, it's time to recommit yet again to all of my goals. Once again, I hope to use this blog as a way to keep myself honest, so feel free to call me a turd if I don't have any progress reports in the near future.

All in!

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:11:00 +0000

I've been thinking a lot about poker lately, probably because I have a trip planned to Atlantic City with my brother. I've always loved poker, and thought I was pretty good at it, but lately I've had to wonder. I was in a game the other night with a few buddies, well, like three buddies and two of their buddies, people I had just met. First off, I knew I could beat my friends, because they still look at poker as gambling, but I had heard that one of the other guys was pretty good. Well as it turns out, he wasn't as good as he thought he was, however, neither was I. I ended up $20 ahead after playing for like 5 hours. It was a weird structure, but it was the game they had been playing well before I ever showed up, so I didn't complain. They did one $1 blind, no small blind. It didn't really change much, but it was just odd.

I bought in for $40, and at one point was up to maybe $150, but then I made two incredibly stupid mistakes and ended up cashing out $60. By the end of the night there were only three of us left, myself, and two of the guys I had just met. One guy was drunk and reckless, so when I thought he was bluffing me, I pushed all in with middle pair and an open ended straight draw. Well, he already had the straight. The then proceeded to tell me what a bad play that was. "Listen jackass, I knew that already." The other situation was pretty much the same, but this time it was against the guy who claimed to be the subject matter expert of the game. This guy is in love with himself, for real. He spent the night telling us stories of all of his successes, "ok hot shot, why are you playing some screwed up $0/$1 no limit poker game with us then?" Anyway, I thought he was putting me to the test one time because we had been clashing all night, so I called, he had the better hand. Oh well, as stupid as those moves were, at least they now no I won't lay down to their aggression like the others will.

As you can probably tell, I'm not the happiest with my play, but if I get the chance I'll definitely make up for it the next time we play. I am going to redeposit on Full Tilt pretty soon so I can practice up for Atlantic City. I just don't want to lose money because of lack of preparation.

So, in other news, I reached one of my blog goals. I checked my google analytics today and found that I have had 1,127 visitors, I set a goal about two months ago of having 1,000 visitors, so it feels good to reach that. Although, it doesn't mean quite as much because my bounce rate clearly shows that most people aren't staying long enough to read even one post. That is the good and the bad of Entrecard. It will definitely get you traffic, but I bet there are only one or two people out of a hundred who will actually read anything you write. I am guilty of it too. Of all the people who I drop on, I only read a handfull of them. And the only ones I read pretty consistently are www.charleshamel.com, and www.paulezimmerman.com. They are both good blogs for anyone out there who hasn't checked them out, you definitely should. Well, not much else to tell, I just felt like a journal entry and figured I could share it.

Get out of your mind, get into your soul.

noreply@blogger.com (Robin Marks) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:41:00 +0000

Does it get any better than Billy Ocean? I mean really… ”get out of my dreams, get into my car!...beep beep, beep beep, yea yea.” I love it. I am totally serious, there isn’t a bit of facetiousness in this statement at all, I love Billy Ocean. I think it has a lot to do with what I relate his music to, and that is, 80’s movies staring the “Coreys.” If you are a child of the 80’s like me, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. “Lost Boys” made me want to hunt vampires, and “License to Drive” made learning to drive seem like the absolute pinnacle of the human experience.

All that being said, I haven’t been able to nail down any real solid blogs lately, so I figured something was better than nothing. In keeping with my whole, “writer’s block” blog, I figured I should just start typing and see what comes out. Maybe the Muses have something to say if I just give them the opportunity. I just so happened to be listening to a mixed play list when I started this, and it is set to “random” so...we’ll trust the universe to see where it sends us. I started with, as you may have guessed, Billy Ocean. Isn’t the power of music amazing? I am a lyric guy; some people are more into the tunes, the instruments, all of that, I can’t tell what is “good music” and what isn’t, my ear isn’t that discerning, but my gut is, and I know when there is a message in the lyrics that I need to be taking note of.

Take for instance, “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley, you guessed it, that’s what just came on. It’s a damn catchy tune, and I bobbed my head to it a few times before I really listened, but even as much of a “feel good” song as this is, it can teach us if we are open to it. I would venture to guess that most of you have never dissected the song like I have, but if you do; you might be amazed at what you’ll find.

…I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase…
…Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much…
…You really think you're in control
Well, I think you're crazy…
…My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done…

It’s an amazing song when you look at what is being said. I’m sure that a lot of you are familiar with meditation in various forms; if not, then let me explain a little something about it. One of the chief reasons to practice meditation is to clear away the clutter of the mind, the gunk that gets in the way of true perception, and real experience. A typical mind is dirty and cluttered; think of it like a dirty windshield, your vision is skewed. Meditation is a means to clean the glass so you can actually see the world as it truly is. Some people have referred to it as, “losing your mind to come to your senses,” which basically just means, stop thinking so much and just experience. When you sit, just sit, when you eat, just eat, etc. To me, that is exactly the lesson being taught in this song.

He is talking about how before he was out of touch because he “knew” too much, his perception was skewed by his programming. He goes on to say, “you really think you’re in control...,” I think that in this line he is referring to the natural order of things, our place in the flow, which we have little control of. The last part about his heroes losing their lives out on a limb, well that’s just beautiful. He is talking about putting yourself out there, and having faith in the Universe, in your God, or whatever it is you put faith in, and daring to put yourself out there in pursuit of what you feel you need to do. Finally, the line that states “and it’s no coincidence I’ve come, and I can die when I’m done…” …..wow, that line is really profound. That is yet another statement of his faith in a higher order, a method to the madness if you will, and his understanding of his role in it. Once he has completed his part, he will move on.

Now, the question is, did Gnarls know that his music contained such profound truths? Honestly, I have no idea, maybe, maybe not, but it doesn’t really matter, because it reminded me of what I need to remember, and I doubt I’m the only one. I think that is the point that I’ve come to, although I didn’t know where I was headed when I started this blog. We can learn from anything, everyone is our teacher, every situation is a lesson, every place is a classroom. You don’t have to track down a “guru” there are plenty of them hiding in plain sight. All you have to do is open yourself to truth, no matter where it chooses to present itself.