What Works For Us

Testing The Waters.

2011-07-29T11:14:00.002-05:00

Delivered.

2009-06-26T03:05:00.001-05:00

Internets, for a change, I was right.

One boy, one girl.

Not that I'm ecstatic or anything but, alas, I GET TO BUY PINK!

We're home. They're healthy. And it's hectic.

I ended up having an emergency c-section last week when one of the twins started losing amniotic fluid. They both weighed 5 pounds 11 ounces. Since then we've been in a fog. On a good night we get 3 hours of sleep. I spend at least 5 hours a day just nursing them while Sam dominates diaper duty.

I'm in awe how quickly my heart grew 2 sizes. They are just so incredibly perfect (especially between 7AM and 10PM - OY). I'm TRYING to savor the insanity. I know they'll be in kindergarten tomorrow and graduating from college next week.

I apologize for not posting sooner. It turns out 24 hours a day just isn't enough. I'm so thankful for each and every one of your e-mails and comments. I'll be back when I get 10 minutes or when they start school. Whichever comes first.

---

My girl Cecily has PSF covered while I'm trying to figure this new gig out.

Deliver Me.

2009-06-12T16:49:00.000-05:00

Me, 36 weeks pregnant with twins.

In case you can't tell (or are blind), I'm ready. I'm BEYOND ready.

Yesterday's ultrasound measured each twin at 6 pounds 3 ounces. Sleeping, sitting, standing, even breathing are officially becoming a physical impossibility.

One thing is for certain. Come hell or high water, they will make a debut soon. If they don't arrive in the next few days, my c-section is scheduled for late next week.

I'm anxious. I'm anxious for the delivery. I'm anxious for their health. I'm anxious to meet them. I'm anxious for Toddler to meet them. And I'm anxious to find out their genders. My Aunt recently died and her last words to me were "Oh, by the way, they're both girls". I'm still going with 1 boy, 1 girl. Sam's pulling for 2 more boys to neatly complete a golf foursome. So much for a consensus.

Alas, let the games begin.

O Hugh Jackman, Where Art Thou?

2009-05-29T13:32:00.000-05:00

I've been having weekly OB appointments for Non-Stress Tests to be performed. They monitor the twins' heartbeats, blood flow, movement and any contractions.

I was pleasantly surprised on what a spa-like experience the appointments turned out to be. I relax in a quiet, cool, dimly lit room in a leather recliner listening to a duet of Beethoven and their heartbeat rhythms.

I SWEAR Hugh Jackman will swagger in and rub my feet at any given appointment.

My physician then briefly reviews the results. She's a hip braniac who sugar coats nothing. This week she gave me 'the talk' to gauge how much of a cluestick I am.

So do you have 2 cribs?   Check!

And 2 car seats?   Check!

Is the nursery and clothing ready?   Check!

Are you comfortable nursing twins in tandem?   Check (my fingers are actually still crossed)!

Are you aware you won't even remember the first 3 months due to pure exhaustion?   *crickets*

Pregnancy. The New Thin.

2009-05-15T04:29:00.003-05:00

So. The hospital called to schedule my c-section for next month.

Gulp.

It turns out I really AM pregnant with twins. It's not a dream. It's funny how my massively growing belly neglected to clue me in to the reality of their impending arrival NEXT MONTH. Odd, that.

This is what a twin 32 week pregnancy looks like. This week's ultrasound measured each baby at 4.5 pounds which, although physically uncomfortable, is mentally comforting given an increased risk of pre-term birth.

But what does it feel like? It's vastly different than my singleton pregnancy with Toddler and I hope this indescribable sensation doesn't fade in my memory. It's a cross between dwarfs break dancing and a ferris wheel in my uterus. True, that.

When Inspired Gets Tired.

2009-05-01T04:30:00.001-05:00

As I waddled around the yard with my macro lens today, I was pleasantly surprised to find the lilacs slowly starting to bloom.

With one eye looking through my viewfinder, I got one shot fired off before my other eye caught Toddler discovering the birdbath. It got tipped, he got drenched, I cried Uncle.

Naturally this only makes me ponder how much dust my camera will collect after the twins arrive, considering I only have 2 arms and all. But, luckily for me, I am nothing if not consistently wrong.

In Living Color.

2009-04-24T06:03:00.002-05:00

Today: We finally saw something other than a whiter shade of pale. Instantly happy.

Tomorrow: A forecast of 80 delectable degrees and sunny. Deliriously happy.

This weekend: We need to agree on a short list of baby names. Sam will be notified that first and middle name combos such as DAWN KEEBAWLS or EMMA ROIDS are no longer entertaining. Not so happy.

Why I'm Also A Food Porn Network Reject.

2009-04-17T16:30:00.001-05:00

You know that feeling when you crave something so bad you MUST have it?

So, despite your better judgement to just eat grapes, you jaunt to the gas station to get gas so you can jaunt to the grocery store to pickup ingredients for said craving.

You get home, you follow the recipe EXACTLY (because, although you are soooo envious of people who just eyeball ingredients, you measure everything out to prevent catastrophic failure that you've witnessed many a times before).

But then. You forget to set the timer.

They burn.

They're flatter than pancakes.

And they suck.

So you eat your grapes.

Seriously interweb, what causes cookies to be FLAT? How can you screw up cookies?!

Necessities and Stuff.

2009-04-10T05:05:00.001-05:00

Grasping for any and all advice I can get my hands regarding raising twins and conquering sleep deprivation, I think I've officially read every book on raising multiples that exist. I fear my librarian thinks I'm the next Octonutter.

In the end, all the pundits agree on just THREE BASIC NECESSITIES.

1) A sense of humor in the morning.
2) A sense of humor in the afternoon.
3) A sense of humor in the wee hours of the night.

And the bonus tidbit: when the babies cry, pee before attending to them, it may be the last chance for a bathroom break in the next 3 hours.

Happy Easter Peeps.

WHAT? You don't like PEEPS? Just don't tell me you eat black jelly-beans. BLECH!

Shut It Granny.

2009-03-27T06:37:00.001-05:00

Today at the grocery store I almost decked an old lady heavily scented in moth balls.

Forgive me, I HAZ HORMONES².

First she TRIED to rub my belly. Then she declared what a blessing my Easter baby will be.

A full-term twin pregnancy is 34 weeks gestation so I still have at least 9 weeks to go before my intestines are completely obliterated and they arrive. I simply replied to Mothy with a Slingblade version of MMMHMMM and let her purchase her prune juice.

Me. Pregnant with twins. Feeling whale-esque. 25 weeks.

Matters Of The Heart.

2009-03-20T08:04:00.002-05:00

My blogging mojo has been in a recession for months, with no bailout on the horizon.

With the advent of my final trimester, compounded by the arrival of spring, it's only worsened. Once upon a time, the beloved nap allowed for a bit of blogging with a soothing cup of tea. But now, IF I even turn on the laptop, I physically wince when I open Google Reader.

I am consumed with nesting. If there's a drawer, I MUST DECLUTTER. If there's a closet, I MUST CLEAN. There are windows to wash, a nursery to finish and a boy to love.

With only 10 weeks to go, I find myself oddly grieving my 1:1 time with Toddler. My greatest fear is he'll feel slighted when the twinkies arrive. This very apprehension wakes me up each and every night. Maybe every parent feels this way when their first child is no longer their only child. Maybe it's adaptation hard at work.

I don't know.

I'm trying to making every moment matter. Even if that means playing basketball when one can't actually bend over to pick up the ball anymore.

Okay, I gotta go clean this disgusting keyboard.

Got Nuts?

2009-03-13T04:30:00.001-05:00

Disclaimer #1: This photo has no sensational story.

The Cliff Notes version is that I saw this guy at the zoo, I ~~trampled~~ gently nudged 3 or 4 kids out of my way to take his photo. I mean, come ON, look at that expression! It makes you wonder who's observing who?

So go ahead, cure my blogstipation. Name his caption and win*.

*Disclaimer #2: TBD. Have low expectations.

Homeland Security. Blanket.

2009-03-05T16:43:00.002-06:00

In the event of a fire:

1- Remain calm. Stop. Drop. Roll. (Uh huh, riiiight. Run! Run for your lives fools!)

2- Ensure everyone gets out of the house safely.

3- Risk life and limb to GRAB BLANKIE else prepare for a lifetime of sleepless nights and naps.

I don't care what Supernanny says. As far as I'm concerned he can sleep with Blankie until he's 18. That thing is more MAGICAL than Disney or Santa himself.

Deuce.

2009-02-27T18:29:00.000-06:00

Because y'all are so relentless. This is what a 21 week twin pregnancy looks like.

Yes. I know. I'm UUUUGE. Even our Wii-Fit thinks I'm Wii-Fat.

We had our 20 week prenatal checkup and so far so good. Meeting the twinkies in 4D was spectacular. My path to a pregnancy has been a winding, heartbreaking and incredulous journey that makes typing this seem so surreal. Having ONE child was a miracle. Having siblings for him is a bonus beyond words. Much to our doctor's disbelief, we elected NOT to find out genders because we honestly do not care. If they're healthy, we're happy, that's that.

Baby A

Baby B

Having said that, I foolishly believe in Old Wive's tails. When I was 9, my sister scientifically administered the pencil test on me in our treehouse (whilst on a brief Ouija board break). It confirmed I would someday have 2 boys and 1 girl. You needn't be preggo to have the test; only female. I've never seen it fail...yet.

So, just between you and me, I'm buying pink and blue.

Eat. Or Else.

2009-02-20T18:30:00.000-06:00

We've reached THAT phase.

The phase in which we beg and bribe Toddler to eat just a morsel or two of food at breakfast, lunch and dinner. But, he's much too busy for a nourishment pit-stop. There are toys to be played with and messes to be made.

Me, on the other hand, could eat a 72 ounce steak as a light snack these days.

In yet another, albeit unsuccessful, attempt to try to outsmart him, I've started getting all cutesie on his food.

To no avail (this being the after shot).

Zoltar Speaks.

2009-02-13T16:29:00.000-06:00

We just returned from a much needed vacation to celebrate the grand finale of 16 weeks of hurling (feeling good is a really beautiful thing that I will never, ever take for granted again).

After we finished dining out one night, Zoltar began eyeing me down in the restaurant entrance. He may have even winked at me, but I'm not certain.

And, yes, it was obviously a FINE dining establishment if Sir Zoltar was in da house.

When I was a kid, I was completely convinced (TORMENTED) that a real, live fortune teller lived in those glass boxes 24/7 and fed upon the coins. Honest to blog. So what pearls of wisdom did Zoltar offer?

He said, loosely translated, "All your hard work will never pay off. Also, that WASN'T chicken."

Yep, Zoltar's still got it.

ALL The Live Long Day.

2009-02-05T04:33:00.001-06:00

Last night I dreamt I was struck by a freakishly friendly train (on the island of Sodor I might add) and died.

If you've never heard of Sodor, count your lucky stars. Twice.

The winter of 2009 will undoubtedly go down as the year that Toddler and I worked on his railroad all the live long day. I have assembled more track and mastered more train sounds than I care to admit (to an adult that is).

Chugga-chugga! has taken on a whole new meaning since college.

All for the love of a boy.

Just Your Average Meltdown.

2009-01-30T04:31:00.001-06:00

Besides completing all of the mandatory job requirements, all I really aimed to accomplish today was to take a decent photograph of a snowflake with my macro lens (inspired by one of my faves).

Shooting stomach style outdoors is no longer an option these days, so when Toddler finished shoveling the snowbanks back ONTO the driveway, we eagerly hurried back inside with his mittens full of the white stuff.

But, once again, I underestimated the time it took to undress a toddler from a snowsuit (which is TRULY the worst part of winter) and all I got was this lousy snowflake afterbirth.

Dear Mother Nature. Enough. A-men.

2009-01-23T16:39:00.001-06:00

My camera and I are inept to the point of ad nauseam.

Literally.

I just can not shake this 4-month-24/7-morning-sickness-thing to save my stomach. I, thankfully, escaped hospitalization this week after finally being able to keep a Saltine and a Gatorade down.

And now for something I thought I'd never type. I'm desperately trying to GAIN WEIGHT. Raincheck please!

On the bright side, we planned a vacation. It would be a total bonus if I actually get to go along on it. Otherwise, it's myself, 25 movie rentals and Von Furstein.

Stir-Crazy.

2009-01-16T17:47:00.001-06:00

Today's high: A tropical -17°.

When your car doesn't start, when your water pipes freeze and when you fear getting frostbitten while walking to your mailbox, you begin to seriously contemplate either (A) moving, (B) watching VH1's Rock of Love Bus re-runs (I totally disgust myself) or (C) planning a vacation somewhere warm, no matter how much you may dread wearing, the mother of all whale gear, A MATERNITY SWIMSUIT.

Chew on This.

2009-01-09T04:58:00.002-06:00

Last week at various Holiday parties we told friends and families that we are expecting twins.

We tried to think of a creative way to announce that we're expecting a couple in July. When that failed, we ultimately decided to just give everyone a pack of Double Mint gum with their gifts.

While we sat anxiously awaiting their responses to our apparently-not-so-clever idea, 3 out of 5 recipients politely just thanked us for the gift of gum.

Let's face it, they were really thinking what an EL-CHEAPO gift the gum was.

But when the significance of the gum was determined, most people were ecstatic (translation: ecstatic it wasn't THEM and that they get to view the drama from the sidelines).

In the end, my favorite response was definitely "So, is twins 2 or 3 babies?". He will NOT be babysitting. Ever.

Oh, Come On. View My Uterus.

2009-01-05T11:38:00.003-06:00

I'll forego the witty banter and just get right to it. I'm pregnant.

With twins.

That wasn't a typo. TWINKIES.

My eggos are 14 weeks preggo. I'm due July 1st and, already, look at least 5 months pregnant.

I've been retching vomiting 24/7 for 8 straight weeks and have lost considerable weight so I've been put on Zofran, an anti-nausea used on chemo patients that isn't working AT ALL. Oddly, dill pickle potato chips help.

The very moment I saw the first ultrasound, before my doctor smirked, before the nurse giggled, before Sam beamed - I knew. How could you not? This, right here, is what HOLYSH!T looks like.

My initial response involved a curse, a prayer, a joke about the Duggars, and a quick alert to Sam that he'll never golf AGAIN (he thinks I'm kidding). Since then, we've been excited and scared all in one breath.

I just can't grasp how I'll ever go anywhere alone with 3 kids (under 3) and only 2 arms. Does anyone have an extra limb I could borrow for a few years?

Now THAT'S What I'm Talking About.

2008-12-04T19:01:00.002-06:00

3 tickets to an Elmo Christmas concert:   $50.00.

2 stale popcorn's and a blue slushy causing our lips to remain dyed Grover blue for 2 FULL days:   $12.00.

1 head-bopping, life-loving, smiling toddler:   priceless.

Season's Eatings. Let The Holidaze Begin.

2008-11-27T16:49:00.013-06:00

We have 3 (THREE!) Thanksgiving dinners in 24 hours. One will we be delectably homemade, one will be blandly catered and one will remarkably resemble a Swanson Turkey TV dinner.

*Insert a holidaze sigh here, here and here*.

We'll drive many many miles, complain about that fact thoroughly and then continue to stuff our faces. I'm personally not a big fan of turkey, pumpkin pie or yams, but the stuffing. Oh, the stuffing.

I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL AROUND STUFFING. And cranberries. And mashed potatoes. And, oddly enough, anything containing mini-marshmallows. I know not why.

Sincere Happy Thanksgiving wishes to you all. And happy shopping to all you brave Black-n-Blue Friday adventurers. Unless the Dollar Store sells plasma TV's, I'm out.

Word To The Bird.

2008-11-13T17:31:00.003-06:00

Of all the picnics we went on this summer, one vividly sticks out.

We were eating our bland, soggy lunches near a lake, on a blanket on the ground. These adorable little babies waddled up to us looking all innocent. We were instantly smitten.

Ooooh. Awwww. I'm taking one home!

Unfortunately, some stupid soul (whom occasionally authors this neglected blog and has ZERO will power) decided to feed them ONE teeny, tiny, little Goldfish cracker.

They inched uncomfortably closer.

Begging shamelessly.

Wonking repeatedly.

Until, inevitably, they were sitting ON our blanket relaxing, eating crumbs and CRAPPING at the speed of light while we scattered away, OFF our blanket, aware that we were outsmarted.

Word to the bird.