knit with snot for you

Corks for Conservation...Oh, how I missed thee

2013-06-02T17:40:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was the annual Corks for Conservation fundraiser at Binder Park Zoo.

I was really happy I was able to go this year. The Ogre was going to go with me. But, alas, the great maker in the sky called upon him to serve drinks at the Grange June Chicken BBQ. Who is he to say no to community service? Also, if I say it's the great maker in the sky demanding he is to serve drinks, I'm thinking he may actually be answering to Bacchus. The Grange is an agricultural based Fraternal Order, after all.

But I most certainly know I was answering the call of Bacchus! HEUS WINE FEST! Rather I mean, Hi, Corks for Conservation! Nice to see you again. I too am doing my community service! That means supporting a local fundraising event, not picking up trash along the side of the road.

Oh, wait, I've done that too. Note that the road was adopted, and I wasn't part of a court ordered community service project.

This year, I was lucky enough to go with Christine B. Our kids go to school together, we've seen each other around, but we had never actually hung out. Which is a shame, because we were up to no good in the same manner.


Can I playz wit Liquid Nitrogen too?


Ladies were photographed so you could tell how high up cat was

It was cool because she didn't mind when I completely lost my mind with excitement over seeing the Snow Leopard, up close, and on top of what looked like a telephone pole.


			Look! Kitty!!

She actually encouraged it. "It's cool Holly, dork out! I'm not embarrassed!"

I also got the insider scoop on some Vicksburg. It was mostly that I am missing out on reasonably priced, delicious food by not going to The Village Hideaway.

I wanted to argue. "But it's the hideaway, and everyone will see I'm hiding away in there. Plus, the big beer sign out front. Wait, I'm at wine fest, I asked the Ogre out for the first time at Bud's Bar. I brew my own beer."

The jig is up Bishop. Your hobbies are hooch related.

So I embraced my hooch hobbies and shared with Christine the beauty and the wonder of the Mega-Bev. "No, really, you have to go. It's like, a kid in a candy store awe inspiring! Or, an adult in a giant liquour store awe inspiring. But really, they have everything."

Oh, what wineries did we enjoy? I personally really enjoyed Lawton Ridge Winery in Kalamazoo. Their wine was the first we tasted of the evening. The people were super friendly, very fun to talk to and the wine, well, it was delicious! I highly enjoyed the AZO White . I was also a bit smitten with the fact that they named the wine after our airport code. I am a sucker for clever.

Black Star Farms were there too. I want to go to there. The Ogre and I brought infant Harry to Traverse City and we toured the facilities. We loved the wine! We loved the B & B! We promised ourselves we'd go back...we had more kids. It's been 13 years. But we still love them.

Spotted Dog Winery Cute name, cute labels, fun names. The people at their booth were really stand offish and not especially friendly. I really didn't want to support them by getting a pour from them. But Christine and I were curious about their Coco Noir wine. Here's the description:
Coco Noir
A smooth red wine blended with a mouth filling flavor of dark chocolate.
Be sure to take in the aroma before sipping!

We got a sample. I was being all pissy. Right before we tasted it I said "it's going to be all nasty and vinegary and just, just spotted dog poo!"

It was in fact delicious. It was smooth. It was a deep, full bodied red. Then, to finish, the coco flavor. It was amazing. I took back my pissy comment and said "Ok, they do deserve to be like that, this stuff is awesome." Or something to that effect.

Also, I was introduced to a friend of Christine's. She is totally ready to deliver pregnant, and she said The Zombie Prom Date Knitters could totally deliver her baby!!!

Not a look of ZPDK inspired fear, JOY, pure JOY

So thank you Christine for a great night out. I look forward to hanging out more, and going to the Hideaway for lunch sometime soon.

*Blast from the past blog link...check out Mother's Day 2008. Camping and Beer...with Kids!

Fire it up

2013-05-11T17:02:00.001-04:00

I once had the opportunity to rent what was basically a shed, with a burn barrel for a fire place and no electricity. Wait, the electricity situation was what brought me to thinking about this fine rental in the first place. I lied, it did have electricity. One hour a day, the landlords would fire up the generator, and BEHOLD! Electricity! One hour a day. The sad part was, the rent was too high. I couldn't afford to live in a shed.

I currently have everything, and it's all awesome, and sometimes I feel guilty about it. So, I try to give back. Just, in general. Which leads me back to the electricity thing. I have a lap top that, until recently, worked. Now it works, but only about 7 minutes a day. I think back to the shed I couldn't afford to rent, with it's one hour of electricity a day, and laugh.

Eric asks me why I don't want a new computer. I tell him I don't need a new one. This one builds character.

It's always snot, or poo

2013-04-11T07:25:00.001-04:00

I never blog. But I really need to. I have so much to share, it's like exploding out of me. Much like the poo that has been exploding out of the dog.

Yeah. My puppy. MY puppy. He was at the vet's kennel while we went to Florida to see Pk, for Spring Break. This was the first time he'd been boarded. Sweet side effect of kenneling Franklin...3 days of Post Kennel Stress Syndrome! Really. If I'd have known, that poop on the walls from a 91 pound dog was an option, I may have just stayed home.

Don't get me wrong. Vacation, was totally awesome. Like extremely sweet, rad, and totally BARF FREE! Yeah. That was the actual goal of the vacation. I mean to be awesome, yes, but we had actually set the bar pretty low and were just hoping that no one would barf.

Popped rib...it's a thing

2013-03-05T18:40:00.001-05:00

A couple of years ago, I popped a rib. I know, you're like "whateves, popped a rib? What does that even mean?" In my case, it means I stood on top of a washing machine, and forcefully removed a rug. When the rug came free of the washer, there was a loud "POP." Yeah, that was a rib in my chest popping loose of it's normal spot on the sternum. Ouch!

That 3rd one down. Yep, on the left.

I'd like to point out that said rug was not put into said washer by me. I did choose to defeat the stuck rug of my own free will.

Soon after that, I fell off the porch, gave myself whiplash and ended up in physical therapy. I didn't really notice the pain in the chest, due to the pain in the neck. Also, no one beats me. I really do all of my own stunts, and damn, yo, not well.

Recently, I started having chest pain. I was all "Ogre, I'm having a heart attack just like Rosie!" He asked how long I had been experiencing chest pain. "Ever since I started exercising. Wait, maybe after I fell down over the dog gate. Either way, it's been like a month. I think it's a really slow heart attack."

He said I should stop doing my own stunts. Or grow longer legs, not fall over the dog gate, and it was my rib again.

NOOOOOOO! Not the rib! It couldn't be that again. That's all healed and awesome!

So, after 2 months, I went to see my Doctor. How embarrassing is it to admit to popping a rib while pulling a rug out of a washer? Not nearly as embarrassing as the rest of my medical record. The verdict this time...irritated joint between the rib and sternum and a torn pec!

What the hell does a person do for that? Do you get narcotics? NOOOOOO! As AtYourBecandCall would say "You get RICE!"

Rest
Ice
Compression
Elevation

There are a few issues with the compression, and elevation since, it's my chest and all. But, I should be better in about 8 weeks. I'm sort of hoping for another dance induced whiplash incident to take my mind off my chest pain. (You should really check out that last link. It's a post about dancing, Led Zeppelin, and cash money.)

Winter Activities

2013-01-25T14:00:00.001-05:00

I've been doing some new things lately. No, really totally normal things. Like flossing my teeth, drinking water, and the even, exercising! Sorry, even normal things aren't safe from being blogged about.

The flossing is fine. Just time consuming. You know, it's really cutting into my staying in bed and not flossing my teeth time.

As for the exercising, I'm trying to run. As we all know, rule #1. cardio. I've tried and it never seems to stick. It's possible I was doing it wrong.

So instead of being part of a running group, I'm trying the Couch 2 5k app. Which is cool. I put in my headphones, run when I'm told to, walk when I'm told to and listen to my own sweet playlists. So far, I've only had one problem with this. I have to work on not yelling "THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES!" when I've completed my work out. I really think the lady on the treadmill next to me would appreciate that.

I've also gone skiing lately. Sure, I've participated in skjoring before, but never actual skiing. So, being 38 and totally out of shape, I decided to chaperone Pig 2's 5th grade ski trip. Here I learned that skiing is pretty fun, not falling is the best, and it sucks to be in the learn to ski class with 10 year olds.
I've also learned that it's poor form to dominate the bunny hills and then yell "Take that, BOOGER EATERS!"

I hope your 2013 is going just as smashingly as mine! At the rate I'm going, I'm bound to break something, or get arrested for swearing in front of minors.

Eh, seems normal

2013-01-10T10:11:00.001-05:00

Last night I had the chance to meet up with my lovely ZPDK friends. We talked, we laughed. Some of us dragged a garbage bag full of sheep fluff into the store. Others dragged the sheep fluff out of the store.

I began working on a new project.

It's made with scraps. Scraps so hideous that it makes me wonder why I ended up with such ugly yarn.

It's turning out so hideous that a lady stood behind me, speechless, as I began to add another row of orange to the sparkly, fluffy purple fury I already had going. She walked away, stunned.

As we were saying our goodbyes, Bec said "Drive like an asshole!" Of course I promptly did.

After our fun, I went out to my car. As I was driving I thought, "gee, this is a really dark parking lot." Turning onto M66 I wonder if my contacts were what was making everything so dark. Which,if that is the case, wow, inconvenient.

Turns out, both headlights were out. I didn't freak out, I wasn't sad. I drove like an asshole. Brights on the whole way home. I even pulled over at one point to make sure the tail lights were still operational. I may have been an asshole, but I didn't want to get rear ended.

Now I'm at the Ford dealership. I can see the Ford dealership from my house. When they set their garbage dumpster, well, it made us nervous. So, I'm sitting here waiting for my car. Which of course means I have to use the bathroom.

Imagine my surprise when I spotted the arsenic sign. Actually, I dried my hands, took the photo and said "Sweet! I don't have to worry about being poisoned by arsenic! I bet I've built up quite a tolerance . I should totally go play the lottery!"

The thing I'm worried about is how long this light bulb change is taking. The amount of time it's taking is making me think it is actually a much more pricey electrical problem. Plus, this is cutting into fitbit steps.

Twitter, we had a good run

2013-01-07T21:15:00.001-05:00

I'm back at blogger smack talking twitter for iPhone. I mean really, I can't crap on iPhone, apple will hunt me down and kill me. As for twitter, those dirty 140 character upstarts, I can totally call them out.

I'm just going to have to learn to save up my mean for one coherent rant each day. I can do it. I have the focus.

I wanted to tweet how I walked into a random pit bull flash mob at petco. It was crazy. You know with the dogs and the owners all in one place. Somehow that doesn't need more than 140 characters.

Curse you twitter and apple for your poor mixing. I only want 140 characters. I'm weak, and sort of distracted by shiny things and squirrels.

I really just want to love exercise

2013-01-06T17:19:00.001-05:00

For those of you keeping track...

1. I am easily fooled
2. I always think it's a good idea
3. I've probably done that
4. I never want a new hobby

I've been all geared up to organize, throw out and put crap that's being kept in binders. Seriously. Lego manuals have been neatly placed in a folder. Then placed in a magazine rack. But no, not in the magazine rack where the comic books have been corralled to.

Sadly, a new hobby has fallen into my lab. See list above as to how this happened.

Pig 3, a loom. Now to warp it. Which means books! Yarn! Fun!

It's a sickness. I need to take up a new hobby...like exercise. Someone fool me into that please.

Oh, Sweet Twitter! Why are you busted?

2013-01-05T21:10:00.002-05:00

Twitter is not working on my phone. Like acting all crazy, possibly hacked.

After 7 minutes without twitter I had posted to facebook twice and commented on my own post. I'm self centered and I over share. I know this. That's why I love twitter.

Blogging used to be my over share format of choice. But Twitter is so much sexier. It made over share so much easier, quicker, less needing of furthering my thesis and more just letting the random (crazy) out.

So, hey there Sexy. My twitter's all trucked up. You're looking real good right now, Sugar.

I AM TALKING TO YOU BLOGGER.

Also, I may have learned all of my dirty talk from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. (You know you wish there was a photo of Dolly.)

You may be wondering what was so important that I needed to tell someone, immediately, on twitter.

Your baby, it's ugly.
My babies, they were ugly.
Holy CRAP human race. Babies are ugly. Why do you lie about it.
George Clooney, ugly baby. Also, ugly on Facts of Life.
Lisa Welchel. Looking good on Survivor.
Dude, Survivor is totally still on.
No. It just ended for the season.
How did those people not know about Blair?
I just had another one of my brilliant ideas.
Really? Nothing?

That's all. I feel better. It is possibly I should buy a journal. Then use my little tool using monkey hands to write in it.

Get Busy, Pig!

2013-01-03T10:54:00.001-05:00

In an attempt to keep the Pigs busy, I busted out a Weave a Potholder kit.

It worked. Pig 3 stayed busy, and soon my kitchen, and Christmas tree were over flowing with highly flammable, for decoration only, potholders.

We've also recently discovered diy.org (Thank you NPR for this one.) The front page says "Earn a Skill. Become a Maker." Well, heck, earn a Yeti badge? Yes please!

Pig 3 decided to work on being a chef. Which has been fantastically delicious.

Pig 2 wants to earn the Camper badge. This mostly leads to us discussing Survival Kits, and drinking fish spinal fluid.

Pig 1 is moderately indifferent.

Thankfully, Grandma Alice just happened to have a loom she was willing to let us borrow. Pig 3 is now working on covering the world in scarves.

Beware, you may be scarf bombed soon.

A New Adventure

2013-01-01T13:29:00.000-05:00

2013!

I told the Pigs last night I couldn't believe it was 2013. That's 13 years past
THE YEAR TWO THOUSAND.

With the year two thousand being the year that was so distant I couldn't figure out how old I'd be when it finally got here. No, it's not because I was so young I couldn't do the math. I'm just really crappy at math.

On to things I'm good at...Starting!!

I love new starts. I love a new day, a new season, a new project, a new adventure, a new year!

Let's see what happens.

Beer! Donuts! D'oh!

2012-10-17T08:25:00.003-04:00

The Ogre will soon be on his annual Pitchforks and Torches-The Ogre's Plight book tour. Oh, you may not have heard of his book. It's written for people over 6'5". You know, things like where to buy socks when you wear a 15 shoe. You know, useful stuff like how to avoid an angry mob and car buying advice. He'll have a great time. But us? Whatever shall we do??

Well, I've a few activities planned. Activities that the Ogre, may not actually frown on these activities, but he generally doesn't think they are sound ideas.

Day 1:
-Brew Beer
-Donuts for dinner

Day 2:
-Run 2 miles
-Possibly run 4 miles, due to the donuts for dinner
-Go furniture shopping.
-Decide on chair or mattress
-Dinner? Pizza? Cereal?

Day 3:
-Clean up from Beer Brewing
-Clean up pizza boxes
-Order "This is what a feminist looks like" T shirt

Day 4:
-Have furniture delivered
-Cover new furniture in snot, dog slobbery, and help me, urine. It's gotta look like it fits in with what we currently have
-Actually clean up from Beer Brewing
-Order more pizza
-Take pizza boxes from the garage to the garbage can

Day 5:
-CLEAN
-Cook nutritious, veg filled dinner

There will be Snot, or Stout

2012-10-09T07:47:00.000-04:00

For the last 5 years it's been all "knitting this" and "knitting that" and some "Holy shit! Do you think I can find someone who only has one freakishly large hand who will want this mitten?"

There have been zombie slayings, charity events, event-events, and well, a lot of blogging about it.

knitting while at football does not improve the knitting

Last year I tried cheese making. It's ok. It's much cheaper than knitting. No, trust me, it is. At least the way I do it.

You could say "Get a Job!"

This job, that encouraged crazy head gear, was too boring.

I've tried that. It didn't stick.

So, for my next random hobby, I've chosen something that I do truely love, and I know I'm already good at.

BEER!

Ok, I don't know if I'm good at beer making, but I'm hella good at beer drinking.

Plus, I've thought this out. I need sample many, many types of beer, to help me decide what mine should be like, or not be like. Plus, those bottles have to come from somewhere. It seems much more logical to recycle bottles, rather than buy bottles.

I'd like to thank Zippydog, aka Sandy, for saying "Oh, hey, do you want to brew beer?" for this new idea.

Please, next time you see me, don't mention anything. I may develop a strong desire to go do it. Or, at least plot and plan to do said thing.

You want my Knitting??

2012-09-28T07:30:00.000-04:00

The Zombie Prom Date Knitters have done several charity projects as a group. I really liked the Kidney Kozy project. We all made lap robes and donated them to local Dialysis Units. Of course we couldn't call them Lap Robes, that's boring. They were Kidney Kozies!

When I dropped ofe Kidney Kozies, I attached a note that said:

A Kidney Kozy was made with love, laughter and good thoughts just for you!

Stay Warm,
Zombie Prom Date Knitters of SW Michigan

I think it's funny. I'd love to get a hand knit with a nice, yet funny message.

Once again PEOPLE WANT OUR KNITTING!! I shout, because often a knitter spends time, energy, money, on knitting a gift and the recipient say, "Oh, a scarf. This doesn't match my coat." Then they promptly donate it to say, Salvation Army.

I say knitters UNITE! Skip the ungrateful middle man and let's donate directly to the Salvation Army.

They WANT our stuff for their Christmas Toy Shop.

Originally on WWMT, September 19th

WEST MICHIGAN (NEWSCHANNEL 3) - It might be September but the Salvation Army in Kalamazoo is already thinking Christmas.

Each year as part of their Christmas Toy Shop they give out handmade scarves, hats and gloves to kids in need.

It's an extra gesture they like to do to make sure the kids have something nice this winter.

But this year the Salvation Army is putting the call out to knitters. They need help making all the items by the beginning of December.

"We have 4,000 kids that we serve so that would be nice to get close to that number do we can help all these kids to get warm," said Major Keith Weich of the Salvation Army.

The Salvation Army will accept any types of handmade scarves, hats or gloves at their headquarters in Kalamazoo.

If you would like to knit and donate something to this event, I would love to deliver knit goods to the Salvation Army. Dude, it's cold in Michigan.

If it's easier for you, YLYS in Battle Creek is collecting items for the Salvation Army also! They would like them by November 24th. Tell Kelly J I sent you! While you're there, sign up for a class...clicky for YLYS linky.

If you aren't Kalamazoo/Battle Creek local, contact your area's Salvation Army or charity of your choice. Knitting is good. Sharing your knitting is even better.

Tanya's Totes and Sew Much More!

2012-09-27T08:08:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon I had lunch with several Zombie Prom Date Knitters at Boundary Waters, aka Moose and Canoe, in Vicksburg. While we were there my friend Tanya stopped in to grab a little lunch for herself.

She stopped by the table to say hi, and to tell us "Right next door I have a lovely little spot set up just for knitters."

I knew she had started selling yarn, but wow, I was surprised by all of the cool stuff she had.

Besides yarn, she has Harmony Needles from KnitPicks, notions, loads of pretty fabrics,

a comfy place to sit,

and locally made pottery!

Stop in and visit Tanya at Tanya's Totes and Sew Much More. at 116 South Main St Vicksburg, MI

Store hours are:

Tue:	10:00 am	-	6:00 pm
Wed:	12:00 pm	-	6:00 pm
Thu - Fri:	10:00 am	-	6:00 pm
Sat:	10:00 am	-	2:00 pm

It's a nice drive to Vicksburg from the Portage/Kalamazoo area. Vicksburg has a coffee shop right next door to Tanya's, a consignment shop or two, an antique store, Jaspare's pizza, and other small town treasures to discover. I hope to see you in Vicksburg soon! Tell Tanya that Holly sent you when you stop in!

Where are those ZPDK's?

2012-09-25T07:56:00.001-04:00

I recently caught up with the Zombie Prom Date Knitters. It's been awhile, you know, because of all of this

Pig1 joined something! The Cross Country Team

and this.

Which mostly means we spend a lot of time in fields.

Wait! You knit? You think we sound like fun? Oh, yeah, you can totally meet up with us.

Barnes and Noble Battle Creek
3rd Wednesday of the month
6:00pm-we get kicked out

The getting kicked out has not happened. I believe they begrudgingly tolerate us.

Along with the regular crowd, we were joined by GabbyGail, and Melon_K, from the twitterverse. It's true! There really are people in the computer!

Sadly, there were no photos of this event. But if you missed out...there are more opportunities to knit, swear, drop your stitches, and wonder how you got syrup on your knitting. Those may all be "me" problems.

Other times to catch up with ZPDK:

We are still working out a weekly fall meet up. Some of us got jobs, some of us are hunting jobs, some of us should get a MI Chauffeur license (I'm talking about you Spinsanity!)

Wednesday, September 26th
Noon-3ish
Boundary Waters Coffee Shop-Vicksburg

Monday, Oct 8th
Noon-3ish
Beer Exchange-Kalamazoo

Wednesday, Oct 10 830am-1130am
Moose and Canoe-Boundary Waters
Vicksburg

Wednesday, Oct 17th 6-8pm
Barnes and Noble
Battle Creek

We are also working on some charity event, an evening outing, and well, whatever general jackassery we can get into.

Oh, hey Ladies! The guys at Mega Bev in the Creek said "Knitters? That rocks."

Happy Anniversary, Ogre!

2012-09-14T13:05:00.001-04:00

The Ogre and I just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.

We went to Olde Peninsula with the Pigs to celebrate.

Actually, I think we went to sample this year's batch of Pumpkin Ale. It turns out they make that stuff every year, just for our Anniversary! Ok, it's possible it's just a coincidence, but it's one we enjoy.

So, Happy Anniversary, Ogre! Thanks for getting stuff off of high shelves for all of these years.

Love,
Holly

Ah, Watermelons

2012-09-07T09:38:00.001-04:00

We've recently been swarmed with fruit flies. You've heard that in your life you will eat a certain amount of bugs?

I can guarantee I am above my quota. I can also tell you that fruit flies do go well with the Chardonnay.

Since the fruit flies like the wine as much as I do, I decided to do an experiment. The whole catching more flies with honey than with vinegar, not true. They go crazy for vinegar. But, will they go more crazy for wine or vinegar?

It's a dead heat

I took the experiment one step further. Which container will catch more fruit flies?

I'm really hoping it's the wine bottle. It would not only be super classy to leave a bunch of wine bottles around the house, but convenient too.

Franklin does not partake in the wine

At night, I like to sit on the couch, drink a glass of wine, and I don't know, watch tv, knit, have a dance party. Depends on the night, and possibly how much wine. Last night, I was swarmed by so many fruit flies that I began to wonder:

Is it me? Am I creating fruit flies? Is the chest wound not only gross, smelly and rotten, but also breeding fruit flies? HOLY SHIT! BUGS ARE FORMING FROM MY ROTTING FLESH!!

I drank a second glass of wine, and another 5 fruit flies.

While the Ogre was doing dishes, and standing in his own swarm of fruit flies, I mentioned my chest wound as fruit fly breeding ground, when he yelled out:

"WATERMELON!!"

After a hearty "huh?" from me, he explained. The watermelon field, BEHIND OUR HOUSE, is probably why we have a fruit fly infestation.

So, the good part of this is, I'm going to continue my fruit fly trap experiments. I mean I should probably find out if the fruit flies prefer cheap wine, or say, a nice Vouvray.

The bad part is, our house is going to have glasses all over, like the family from Signs.

Except ours are full of wine, and vinegar, and we're fighting flies, not Aliens.

Although, I dig the hats.

PUPPY!

2012-09-06T14:13:00.001-04:00

The Pigs have been back to school for three days now.

I got this, to keep me busy.

Franklin

His name is Franklin, after Rosalind Franklin. If the Ogre says it's all about the Benjamins, he is incorrect. Trust me on this one. I take Franklin out to pee, he's my dog, I get to name him after a lady.

After all the fun, adventure, and general jackassery I had with the Pigs this summer,

I've realized puppies sleep a lot.

Have fun at school Pigs. Get all Edumacated up. I'm sure we'll be able to squeeze in a little adventure during the school year!

Yes, it does make me a little edgy

2012-08-26T12:44:00.000-04:00

I've got some stuff going on. This "stuff" is seriously adding to my general state of bitchiness.

This stuff is on top of the whole Jase Bolger and the state of Michigan are afraid of women and the word vagina-a medically correct name for a FEMALE body part. Add that to Todd Akins referring to "legitimate rape." You are right. She asked for it....because she has a vagina. Really? REALLY???? Yep. 2012.

Now to why I'm a little more edgy than normal.

I had this random spot on my chest. I had it checked out by my dermatologist due family history of skin cancer. Also, because if you have a random spot, you should have it checked out family history or not.

I had a skin biopsy, and it turned out to be basal cell carcinoma. Yeah! I've got a little bit of skin cancer.

"Don't worry, it's the most common type of skin cancer! We'll give you some cream, Aldara, use it for 6 weeks, cancer gone, minimal scarring!"

Rocker...Let's get rid of this little bit of skin cancer!

Day 3-skin cancer is the tiny bit in the middle. The spots around it...maybe I used too much? What the hell is going on?

Whateves...not a big deal. Just some cream, getting rid of a little bit of skin cancer.

week 2

week 3

Oooh, awesomely, Aldara is also used on veneral warts. Going to the pharmacy = dirty whore! Awesome. The stigma of an STD, the humiliation of not being smart enough to use sunscreen!

week 3-Yes, that is all up in my chest

Wait! There's more...the Zombie Prom Date Knitters pretty much all agreed I needed an some sane advice. Here's what they said, "Ryan Gosling called, and he was all, Damn Girl, you best get that looked at by a medical professional."

Yeah, the ZPDK ladies and Ryan were right. My shit was infected. So I was prescribed another cream. This one for impetigo. Yeah, little kids who pick their noses and scratch at themselves get this.

Back to the pharmacy...I AM A DIRTY WHORE WHO PICKS MY NOSE AND SCRATCHES AT MY VENEREAL WARTS THAT ARE ON MY CHEST!!!

Yeah, that's what they thought. When really, it's just a little bit of skin cancer.

week 4, + 6 days of antibiotic cream

So, really, it's just a little bit of skin cancer. It's not a big deal. I'll take care of it. 6 weeks, cream, little bit of skin cancer gone.

In reality, Aldara cream has side effects:

redness, itching, burning, or bleeding of the treated area
flaking, scaling, dryness, or thickening of the skin
swelling, stinging, or pain in the treated area
blisters, scabs, or bumps on the skin
headache
diarrhea
back pain
tiredness

And if you pick your nose and then scratch the flaking, burning itchy treated area, you will make it infected. I swear, it's really from sneezing. Sneezing on my chest. To be polite, to you. When I sneeze.

Additional side effects:

Zero Exercise. That chest wound, getting all sweaty? NO, thank you.

Bad fashion. Did you note those tank tops. Yeah, I've been rocking that.

Really, bad fashion. Sometimes I just feel like socks, sandals, the tank top and cut off exercise shorts are really the way to go. Which is really bad, because due to the lack of exercise, my exercise shorts are kinda tight. Oh, and the Pigs won't come anywhere near me.

Lessons learned:

Wear sunscreen.

Put it on your kids.

Cover up.

6 weeks of "cream" to easily get rid of a little bit of skin cancer. Sounds super awesome, really isn't.

Cut it out next time...CUT IT OUT.

So, um, yeah. A wee bit more bitchy than normal. A little more likely to be irritated.

Love, Snotty "Impetigo"

...yeah, I pick my nose and scratch, but I swear, only when I sleep.

Camping! We don't know when to quit

2012-08-11T21:01:00.000-04:00

I took the Pigs camping in Ludington, the week before Elizabeth and Cameron's wedding.

One might ask “Holly, how did you do it? Camping, with 3 Pigs! What is your secret?”

I'll tell you my secrets-fire, and knives.

Really. The Pigs had a Swedish Firesteel style Flint andSteel. They spent many HOURS attempting to start our camp fire with that thing.

Knives. No stick was safe from the Pigs. Our camp site was full of sharp ended sticks with no bark.

I was able to cook, knit, chase chipmunks, intimidate teens, all while the pigs messed around with fire and knives.

Check out Charity Miles...

When we weren't hanging around the camp fire we also hiked, swam, kayaked and laughed. All of this lead to us getting real stinky.

Beware my stench!!

We also went on a paddle boat. As a person who truly hates exercise bikes, I quickly realized I hate paddle boats as well. While the exercise bike is stationary and tedious, the paddle boat has the added trill of making me motion sick, on top of being tedious. Pig 3 and I decided that we would attempt flipping a canoe together next year.

Speaking of next year, we are planning to stay for a week. This time we camped for 3 nights, and attempted to do a week's worth of stuff in that amount of time.

We also have reservations to stay in a mini cabin in the State Park. Sure, sure, our tent kept us dry during the insane lightening filled thunder storm. But a small building would have made me feel a lot safer.

We stayed dry, but water seeped through the tent floor, and tarp

I didn't pray, but I sure did swear to the universe that if we made it through that storm safe, I would be donating cash, and better quality knit goods, to charity. It went a bit like this:

"We're good people. Don't let us get hit by lightening, or, or, killed by a tree that was hit by lightening, or have the dam break, we get washed out to Lake Michigan and then drowned in a riptide and eaten by sharks. $500 and better knit goods. $500 and better knit goods. $500 and better knit goods. $500 and better knit goods.

Every year, it's something, and every year we say "BEST YEAR YET!! I CAN'T WAIT TO GO AGAIN NEXT YEAR!"

Camping fashion, is a lot like Fight Club

Purple & Yellow are the new Orange & Green!

2012-08-05T19:07:00.000-04:00

Zombie Prom Date Knitters had a secret. This secret hurt. The project was painful, and keeping a secret was difficult.

It was a group crochet wedding gift project for our sweet Elizabeth. Yes, the Zombie Prom Date Knitters pulled it out and crocheted.

These are some of the people I love.

This photo screams "I'm bringing sexy back." or "foot fetish, we can get some front row nfl seats with this photo." J-E-T-S, JETS-JETS-JETS!!!

People who couldn't crochet donated cash. People who could crochet, wept.

But damn it, Elizabeth was getting married to her Cameron, and we were going to make a memorable gift! We did, yo.

This may be the most awesome photo ever.

Someone else in our group was also keeping a secret.

But really, honesty, like a band aid, hurts at the inital removal, but if you leave that damn thing on, you're just going to get an adhesive rash.

Our girl Crystal is also married... and having a baby!

You know a good ZPDK can't resist a group project, or a party, or hitting a zombie across the head with a shovel.

Here's to the Adventures to come.

Love you!

Holly aka knitwithsnot

Olympic Table Tennis-it's a real thing

2012-07-28T14:43:00.000-04:00

Table tennis. The curling of the summer games.

This is one sport where I think, I could have been a contender.*

Honestly, it's fast, aggressive and you don't have to move around a lot. These skills are so in my wheel house.

A ball goes wild, they walk it off, in a 3 foot area. A player can take a ball to the face, but who doesn't occasionally. There are still limited opportunity to get a concussion.

Players wear polo shirts, and sporty, yet modest shorts. Add a pair of knee socks, and I could be confused for a Table Tennis player.

I'm serious when I say poor body image and a fear of bun huggers is why I only played a year of volleyball.

Photo taken from sodahead.com "Why are the Shorts of Volleyball Players so short?"

Having grown to my full towering height** of 5' 4" by age 10, and not liking to jump may have also been contributing factors, but the shorts didn't help.

Now, think of me when you watch Table Tennis. Or as the Ogre says "Let's call it what it is: Olympic, Ping Pong."

*It is a well documented fact that where ever we go, I pick out the job I would do at said locale. At Disney, overly enthusiastic ride operator. Probably Haunted Mansion. Never Splash Mountain. Stilt performer in parades.

Maine-bed and breakfast owner...actually just the person who bakes the muffins for the bed and breakfast. They would be blueberry muffins.

Mexico-gun runner-or stilt performer

Disney's Animal Kingdom-Stilt performer.

**My full towering height is to emphasize that I am taller than Sarah. This may also be why I never realized I was not that tall. I hang with a lot of short people.

For our next adventure...

2012-07-26T08:44:00.000-04:00

Sadly, I won't be at Zumba this coming Monday. Oh, don't worry, it's for a good reason. We're going on ADVENTURE! Honestly, I don't know why I say that every time. We have adventure going to the grocery store.

The Pigs and I will be camping! No. The Ogre will absolutely not be with us. He hates it. An Ogre in the woods, is a rare and unpleasant sighting. I believe it states in Pitchforks and Torches-An Ogre's Plight, electricity was invented by an Ogre. As was indoor plumbing, and air conditioning. They'd like to take credit for the Death Ray also, but that was all Tesla.

I'm the giraffe, he's the dinosaur

We hope to have plenty of adventure for you to mock and enjoy! We also hope to come home without destroying another tent.

For my camping knitting project, I will be bringing the beautiful Color Affection into the woods.

Jazzercise? No, Zumba

2012-07-23T21:49:00.000-04:00

I tried something new. No, not that. Not Absinthe either.

Green Fairy...Tinkerbell?

The first is not on my list, but the Absinthe is.

Today, I tried Zumba. Yes, Sarah (note the H) told me I should try Zumba for years. Like really, 2 years. I actually attempted to go one time, and no one was there. No one. So I said "Today, is not the day that I will break the seal on Zumba."

So, Sara, (no H, and not Sara J) said, "Hey, your exercise bike is broken, and if you fix it, it will break your ass. Try Zumba."

How can I argue with that logic?

I may get kicked out of all future Zumba Classes for this. But, it's worth it-

My Impressions of Zumba:

1. Jazzercise and the Macarena's bastard child!
2. It's like a wedding reception, without the gift!
3. Women really do love line dancing!

Now, if you are a Woman of a Certain Age, you know of the television show Friends. You probably know about My So Called Life too, but that's for another time.

Remember the episode, The One with the Fake Monica? Tap dance class? Anyway, Phoebe is all free form dancing in the Tap Dance Class, and she says "I'm totally getting it!"
Well, I'm Phoebe. Probably Street Phoebe, but still, I was totally getting it, in the corner, doing my own thing.

Sure, I could have followed along, but I have so many sweet dance moves, I sometimes really had to go my own way (look, a Fleetwood Mac reference!) Sometimes I go my own way so much, I get hurt...please see I am a dancing Fool from Jan 2008

Some moves that I use in "Kitchen Dancing" and are used in Zumba:

1. Clean the counter-Drop it low, bring it up real slow.
2. Ride the pony-I ride the pony in the kitchen. It's part of, uh, putting away dishes.
3. Shake that thing. I have a thing, I shake it.

So, for the record Sarah and Sara- I LOVED Zumba! I just do it a wee bit more on the drop it low, shake it nasty style, in the corner by myself.

Also, I know very little Spanish, but I caught a lot of MAS! MAS! Ay, Papi! These were actually not strung together anywhere but in my own little mind. Ay, Alejandro Sanz.

Yeah, Zumba, I'll do that again.