Mammatalk

Toddler Nurses

2014-07-22T16:20:00.001-07:00

It was my fortieth birthday.

I started to feel ill during dinner. I had thought it was just the rich dessert. But, by 5 am the next morning, I knew it was the stomach flu. My husband had woken up at 4 to catch a very early flight for a business trip.

And, I was alone with a four year old and a two year old. A stay at home mom, I thanked my lucky stars that I didn’t have a boss I needed to call, at least.

I went downstairs around 7, after having my head in the toilet for the better half of three hours. I attempted to make my girls breakfast. I was halfway through pouring the Cheerios when I had my head in the sink. I cleaned myself up and continued with the task of pouring juice and Cheerios.

Then again, I was sick. I almost made it to the toilet.

My girls stood by, holding hands and watching me clean up my mess.

“Mamma. why you make wah-duh on the floor?” asked my two year old.

“Yeah, Mommy, why do you keep doing that?” my four year old demanded.

“I must have caught that bug you ladies had last week,” I said weakly.

“A caderpillar bug?” asked my sweet two year old.

“NOT a caterpillar,” corrected my four year old sternly. “Mamma’s sick.”

“Sick Mamma?”

I explained to my girls they would have to pour their own cereal as the sight of food made me violently ill.

I sauntered off to rest on the couch. I heard my girls rambling about in the kitchen, banging cupboard doors and opening drawers. Minutes later, they approached the couch carrying a cutting board in their hands.

“Here ya go, Mamma.”

On the cutting board was a plastic tea cup or two full of water, some crackers and an icy cold wet washcloth they promptly threw on my forehead.

“Mamma sick. We take care of Mamma.”

The rest of the day, I lay on the couch and allowed myself be tended to by two little toddler nurses. They fussed over me, tucking me in with various baby blankets and pillows. Occasionally I had a doll thermometer shoved in my ear and I know a crayon was somehow involved in the mix. But, I had what I needed: water, scraps of food and the love of two little girls, intent of making me feel better. What can get better than that?

My story is in Chicken Soup for the Soul- Parenthood

2013-08-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

I just couldn't believe it when I received an email from a Chicken Soup for the Soul editor telling me my story would be published in one of their upcoming anthologies! Holy smokes!!

You see, a very uplifting thing had happened to my girls and I a year earlier. It was a personal story, one I shared just with my mom and mother-in-law. Both women insisted the story was too good not to share. It was a "chicken soup" moment, my mother had said. I chuckled at her words, but nonetheless, took pen to paper to write it down. In less than one hour I had completed it, the words had just flowed. And, my voice was very different from my Mammatalk voice. It was far more personal and was a tight squeeze for into their "under 1200 words requirements".

A whole year later, after almost forgetting about my submission, I received word that my story would be a part of their next anthology. Chicken Soup for the Soul-Parenthood came out in March of this year with my story, "First Flight" right smack in the middle of them darn pages! Ever since, my family and I have been stopping at every bookstore we can find to take pictures of the book sitting on the bookshelf.

**My girls think I'm famous.**

For those of you who can relate to my story, please feel free to drop me a line. For those of you who have yet to read it, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul-Parenthood. The entire book is full of heart warming stories ( I know I'm biased!).

The Chicken Soup family were so wonderful to work with! So warm and encouraging. My greatest pride was my story had virtually no edits! I truly feel some stories have a life of their own and just demand to be shared: They almost have a heartbeat and a growl which just won't subside until you share them with others. I am so blessed and fortunate to have had this experience!

To buy, visit here.

~Michele

Purty new t-shirt

2013-04-29T16:50:00.002-07:00

Lookie here what I found....

This website lets you design your own shirts and sweatshirts. You can upload your own pictures and see what it looks like before you order.

The site is made for dummies. Super easy peasy!

You can even put a pic or some writing on the back.

I've been playing on the Dress United site for longer than I care to admit.

So, waddya think?

Friday, gotta love the guy!

2013-02-19T13:08:00.002-08:00

I think I have a crush on Friday.

By mid-week, I get weak in the knees anticipating his arrival. On Thursday, it begins to sink in. He’s coming!

And, when he arrives, I embrace him and cover him with wet kisses! Oh! Friday! Friday! Friday! My favorite, favorite day!

Friday is that kind of a guy. He fills your head with promises of lazy Saturday mornings, breakfast in bed, picnics in the park and nights out on the town.

He’s a bit of a lady’s man, really. All over town, ladies bat their eyelashes his way, hoping he’ll pay them a visit. And, although he is a love-‘em-and-leave-‘em type, there does seem to be enough of him to go around. He never seems to disappoint. I mean, who complains about Friday?

And, I’ve never known anyone to fight over the guy. Rather, everyone is thrilled just to get their tiny piece of the pie. “Thank God!! It’s Friday!”

As a matter of fact, I think the men are in on this, too. There seems to be a collective sigh heard around the world upon his end of the week arrival.

Everyone is giddy. A little lighter. More relaxed.

Then, he leaves us as quickly as he came, hand in hand with Lady Sunday. Heartbroken, we’re left with some boring guy named Monday. You know the type. All work and no play. Nose to the grindstone. Beady eyed. Cranky. And really teed off that he missed the party.

What a gigolo, that Friday guy, huh? A regular Good Time Charlie.

Sigh.

But, we always take him back, don’t we?

Hey, Bub, What's the Big Idea?!

2012-12-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

Don’t you love it when a fabulous idea lands right in your lap?

It floats down out of nowhere, bright eyed and bushy tailed, eager to roll up its sleeves and get to work. It lends a hand where needed spreading success in its wake. Ingenuity and quick thinking are its tools of trade.

As for you?

Well, you gleefully surrender yourself to the fruit of its efforts, watching from a distance. Your feet are up with glass in hand as you watch it slave away, nose to grindstone.

“Now, there’s an idea!” you say, patting it on the back encouragingly.

You are the envy of others.

“Where do you get your great ideas?”

You inspire green eyed envy even from even your nearest and dearest friends.

“Wish I was the one who came up with that great idea!”

Every once in a while, you get a lemon of an idea, who, despite its best efforts, mucks things up, prompting some snide remarks….

“Hey, bud! What’s the big idea!?”

But, most of the time, those great ideas come from nowhere, are eager to please and are the most useful creatures to happen upon.

Serving as your indentured servant, they advance a home or work project, bloom a business and chase the heels of opportunity. These nifty creatures know how to light up a room. And, isn’t it particularly sweet when they not only pay a visit, but bring a knapsack and stay for an extended while?

Ever happen to you?

Yeah…umm……well, me neither.

Canvas Print

2012-11-18T22:00:00.003-08:00

I have a picture of my girls that I just adore. It doesn't matter how big those little rascals get, I always want this shot displayed in our home. It's a simple one, really. No posing. It was a moment captured right after my girls and I had run through the sprinkler in our backyard. Our smiles were genuine. The sun was in our eyes and we were lost in our laughter. It was a perfect moment.

I wanted it to be captured forever.

So, I ordered a canvas print of this shot. What can I say? It looks fantastic. No longer is it just a "shot". It's a piece of art. Better yet, it's an art piece that shows the heart of our family. It's truly a moment captured forever.

The folks at Printcopia were fast and efficient. So professional. Friendly, too.

I think I'm addicted!

Printcopia's sister companies sell vinyl banners. car magnets and lawn signs if you are interested in any of those products.

Birds, Bees and Some Naughty Laundry

2012-11-16T07:43:00.000-08:00

I was once again grumbling over a hill of dirty socks, per usual.

The sweat was pouring down my face as I wrestled the darks and roughed up the whites. The teetering laundry pile was far higher than I had seen it before. I had been working on it all morning and barely made a dent. I surmised that the clothes must have had their way with one another because the rate in which it multiplied was maddening.

It was true, some laundry mating must have occurred.

And, I knew what I had to do.

I needed to find the Pappa of the bunch and promptly send him to Dr. Snippity Snip.

I dug and I dug, finally finding what I suspected to be the culprit.

He lay there, immodestly clinging to a pair of lacy panties.

A pair of flannel boxers, fly open wide, he was.

I grabbed him by the waistband and said, “No more fun for you, Pal!”

He responded with surprise, “Hey, lady, I was just getting to first base!”

I marched out to the garage and opened the trashcan.

He started to squeal. “Why you raining on my parade? What did I ever do to you?”

I looked him in the fly…er…eye….before saying, “The work around here is never ending! You and that funny business in the laundry basket are making me old before my time!”

Then he started to soften a bit. “Ah, doll. I never knew. How about a little foot massage? I can fix you up with a pair of athletic socks.”

I gave him another look and began to succumb to his charms.

“A foot massage?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” he assured me. “I’m in good with the whole sock crew. I can make you feel real good, little lady. “

Before I knew it, that rascal had convinced me to bring him back inside to continue with his date with the lacy unmentionables.

And, now, I’m sitting here with a single, one eyed, unmated sock named Gladys rubbing my feet while I listen to the laundry pile writhe and moan.

Kinda makes for an interesting afternoon.

Rambo Sock

2012-11-15T09:54:00.002-08:00

I know. I know. I’ve discussed my issues with laundry before.

But, it’s gotten really bad around here lately.

Apparently, a renegade sock mated with a GI Joe and we have had a bit of a Rambo-esque situation.

I first noticed the manly, beefy sock doing sit ups during my sort and fold.

He ran laps around the others, marching about tangled hosiery and ordering everyone to drop and give him ten.

Well, this energy was a bit over the top for me, so I gave him a good kick under the bed.

Out of sight, out of mind is my motto.

But, who woulda guessed? The bugger did the army crawl out from under the bed, dragging a lost pair of lacy panties behind him.

And, judging from the look on his face, I knew he had been up to something more than a simple search and rescue.

I figured what he needed was a good toss in the trash, but ….well, I guess I’m a bit of a softie.

He and the panties have taken up residence in my bottom drawer and, rumor has it, are expecting twins in the summer.

I figure, who am I to kill a good romance?

Now, If I can only get that unmated thigh high paired up, I'd be a happy camper.

Pure Matters

2012-05-10T14:12:00.002-07:00

I was recently given the opportunity to test out some children's multivitamins by Pure Matters. My girls were thrilled! The vitamins are in gummie form and are fruity flavored. They are vegan and gluten free. I was also given some samples of their Omega 3's for kids. Loved 'em!

If you get a chance, be sure to check out their site at Pure Matters. They have lots of vitamins for adults, too! Their green products come in glass bottles and their caps are recyclable. Not to mention, the ingredients are very Earth friendly as well.

I know where I'm buying my vitamins from now on...

Hullabaloo and the Hippo, too!

2012-01-10T11:08:00.001-08:00

Of course, I didn't mean to get caught up in the hullabaloo. I never planned for things to get so out of hand.

What began as a friendly game of Hungry Hippo between a father and his daughters turned into a rumpus.

I prefaced the game with a bit of a warning. "Check your competitive edge at the door, cowboy."

He nodded enthusiastically, apparently more than willing to throw the game, allowing the under 5 crowd to take all the glory.

As the game began, at first I thought he was just laying it on a little too thick.

"Give 'em a little fight, honey," I said as I refilled lemonades.

Didn't take me too long to figure out the beads of sweat and the vice grip on his designated hippo weren't for show. My honey couldn't get his game on. He was a rookie and he was getting his hiney handed to him.....in a hurry!

I quickly came to assist.

"It's all in the wrist."

"Don't snap the hippos mouth so quickly. Patience."

"Put your back into it!"

"For crying out loud. They're slaughtering you!!"

I just couldn't stand by watching it anymore.

Pushing him aside, I took the Hungry Hippo helm.

And, that's how we all ended up in the toy aisle at Target.

Apparently, too much vigor can jam a Hungry Hippo and put a bit of a damper on an evening.

Next time, we'll stick with Candyland. Don't think that game should get too sticky.

Thank you box

2011-11-11T13:46:00.000-08:00

Hi, all!

I am a Girl Scout troop leader this year and am up to my ears in crafty projects that not only promote fun, but also promote character. I thought it would be fun to share some here.

Thank You Box....

Paint the shoebox with Fall colors and decorate using glitter, feathers or buttons. My girls collect Fall leaves to add. Throughout the month, write down what you are thankful for and place in the box. Open the box and share during Thanksgiving dinner.

We're enjoying it so much we may just continue next month as well. We'll see....

Ice Lanterns

2011-11-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

Looking for some fun, affordable winter fun? Look no further....

Ice Lanterns

Fill a large cup with water about halfway. Place a smaller cup inside of larger cup. Weight it down with stones. Place outside to freeze. Living in a warmer climate? No problem. Place in freezer.

Once frozen, remove the ice using warm water. Turn upside down over a tea light and you have a wonderful ice lantern. Can be used as a table centerpiece decorated with greenery. Makes a great lantern to light up your walkway.

Tips

Stay away from paper cups as they tend to tear once frozen.

Experiment with varying sizes. I used a bucket once to make longer lasting lanterns for outside.

Use as an ice cup for juice. Will melt in your fingers, but what fun!

Sock Romeo

2011-10-27T16:59:00.001-07:00

What started out as a one man party has now turned into an army….

An army of single socks mingling in my bottom drawer commiserating in their loneliness.

I always keep them, you know.

If they don’t find their mate straight out of the dryer, I let them stick around.

I look them in the eye and tell them someday their prince will come. I promise them that if they go about their lives, chin up, there eventually will be a lover’s reunion.

“Don’t settle,” I remind them when I see one of them eyeing a less than desirable suitor.

“Don’t sell yourself short,” I lecture as I untangle a clingy polyester blend from a cotton athletic sock.

Other times, a different reminder is needed. “Let’s do try to stay within our own league,” I whisper to a worn out wooly who was whistling at a satiny hose.

I’ve always had a tender heart for the lovelorn. But, I do think things may have gotten out of hand.

It was a late Saturday night. Hubby and I had fallen asleep early watching a flick. I was lost in a dream about….ah, no matter.

Suddenly, I heard some rowdiness coming from the bottom drawer.

The closer I got, the louder it became.

I clearly could make out Disco music mixed with laughter and some….muffled groans?

I opened the drawer a crack and was horrified.

I don’t want to get into details, but let’s just say I have quite the wild crew residing in my bottom drawer.

Might be time to weed out the undesirables.

Anyone interested in a fishnet thigh hi?

She seems to be the root to this madness….been like a cat in heat since she’s lost her better half….

Four year old inspiration

2011-10-25T22:27:00.001-07:00

My heart has been captured by a four year old ballerina.

The stiff tu-tu. The pink tights. The tight bun.

I watch her stumble and scurry across the ballet studio floor.

Each dance move always ends with an elegant bow, despite the slips and spills.

Every spin, no matter how topsy turvy, is followed by an elegant stretching of the arms skyward and a teetering balance on tippy toes.

Each pirouette. Every plie. All are followed by a confident flourish of the arms and a curt nod of the head.

I am inspired.

As I lay entangled in the next awkward Downward Facing Dog in my Beginning Yoga class, I will think of that tutu.

I will sigh.

My legs burning. My arms shaking. My yoga pants creeping in a Northward direction.

I will try again.

And, I just might finish class with an elegant bow and a curt nod of the head.

Hope it helps regain my composure.

Book Review

2011-07-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

The following is an excerpt from the book Baby Medbasics- Emergency Action Steps At Your Fingertips... It contains pertinent info regarding travelling with baby!

Vacation Emergencies 101
By Luke Hermann, M.D. & Tara Summers Hermann, R.N., B.S.N.,
Authors of Baby MEDBASICS®
Before You Leave Home
Create an emergency information pack:
(use your Baby MEDBASICS pack, a bag or envelope but make sure you pack this in your carry on luggage -- don't check it)

1. A list of current medications with dosage and an extra copy of prescriptions.

2. A list of allergies.

3. Phone number for family doctor.

4. Insurance company phone number and insurance identification cards. Call your insurance company to verfiy their policy for emergencies and doctor visits specific to your particular destination.

5. A few basic childproofing items for the hotel/guest room (outlet plugs, cabinet locks, cord rollers, etc).

Travel Day
1. Carry your own emergency care guide on airplane (Baby MEDBASICS). Yes, you will have flight attendants but no you won't have 911. Ultimately you are accountable for your baby's safety so be prepared and don't leave it up to someone else.

2. Carry the emergency info pack you so carefully created before leaving home.

3. If your child has a severe allergy or medical condition place a medic-alert bracelet on your child.

4. Carry a portable first-aid kit and small bottle of alcohol free hand sanitizer.

5. Pack 1 more diaper than you think you need (after your third flight delay . . . this my friend could be the biggest emergency you encounter).

When You Arrive
1. Make note of emergency numbers (not always 911) as well as your vacation address and the location of the closest hospital. You can ask a family member, friend or concierge for this information.

2. Suitcase dangers -- Sometimes the biggest vacation dangers are actually packed in your suitcase. Make sure all medications, vitamins, cigarettes and cosmetics are out of reach from your little one. Ziplock bags are a start but don't qualify as child proofing. Lock medications in the room safe and place all items high on a shelf out of reach.

3. Hotel room/guest room dangers -- Get down on your hands and knees and crawl around the room. See what your baby sees and make the adjustments as necessary. Are there dangling cords? Exposed outlets? Matches? Irons?
Check the temperature of the hot water as you don't know the hot water heater setting. By childproofing the room from the start you will make your life a lot easier and your baby's a lot safer. According to the National Safety Council, the number two cause of injury-related death among children is drowning so make sure to take precautions regarding any swimming pool, lake or ocean. Prevention + Attention saves lives.

4. Sun damage -- Take extra care to make sure baby is covered up as you most likely be spending more time outside than usual. Apply sunscreen (30 spf) every 2 hours and after swimming. Remember that your baby's skin is thinner than yours and therefore burns more quickly than adult skin. Bring hats and umbrellas for shade. Offer plenty of fluids and watch for signs of heat exhaustion/ heat stroke. Symptoms of heat stroke include a body temperature above 103 degrees Fahrenheit, red, hot, dry skin (no sweating), quick pulse, confusion, dizziness, headache, nausea and unconsciousness.

5. Resort babysitting -- Only hire babysitters from a trusted source. Make sure a background check has been completed and that a copy of his/her current drivers license is on file. Trust your gut. If your sitter arrives and you don't have a good feeling either call for another sitter or cancel your evening. (I personally love sittercity.com) After your sitter arrives, allow time for your baby (and you) to adjust. I recommend leaving at least a 30 minute window. Make sure you leave your Baby MEDBASICS emergency care guide, a first aid kit with emergency information and your cell phone number.

© 2011 Luke Hermann, M.D. & Tara Summers Hermann, R.N., B.S.N., authors of Baby MEDBASICS®

Author Bios
Luke Hermann, M.D. & Tara Summers Hermann, R.N., B.S.N., authors of Baby MEDBASICS®, founded the company MEDBASICS® LLC. They live in New York City with their three children, Nicholas, Oliver Beckett, and Vivienne.

For more information please visit http://babymedbasics.com and Amazon.com, and follow the author on Facebook.

THank you to the authors for allowing me to reprint this here on Mammatalk! :+)

Hope you all are enjoying your summer!

Campus Book Rentals

2011-06-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

Do you remember those days when you had to pay for expensive textbooks in college? Well, that day is over. The smart people over at Campus Book Rentals came up with the idea of renting textbooks. Save money and keep it green!

Campus Book Rentals is teaming up with Operation Smile, an amazing organization that performs life changing cleft lip surgeries on children who families could not otherwise afford it.

For every book rented, Campus Book Rentals will donate a portion of these proceeds to Operantion Smile. Their goal is to cover 1,000 surgeries. Let's help them exceed that goal!

If you or someone you know is in those college years, please consider Campus Book Rentals. It could literally put a smile on someone's face!

Sandman Strike!

2011-04-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

I was scanning the headlines the other day when I came across some shocking news.

“Major cutbacks at Sandman Incorporated”

Across the nation, thousands of Sandmen have received their walking papers.

“All I got was this pink slip and a reminder not to let the door hit me on the way out,” says one disgruntled former Sandman.

“They said I was sleeping on the job. You try working the night shift, Bud!” screamed another newly unemployed sleep worker.

"I'm FIRED?! But, I can put anyone to sleep anywhere, anytime. I got skills, I tell ya!"

Thousands more Sandmen have seen reductions in hours, salary as well as benefits.

Morale is down.

“I can’t believe you need a Master’s Degree to qualify for this flea bitten job!”

There has been talk of a merger with a popular over the counter sleep remedy.

The impact is great.

People everywhere are laying awake at night, wheels a turnin’, hoping their sandman will come. And, sometimes his arrival never comes. Apparently, there have been rolling Sandman blackouts in a feeble attempt to decrease spending.

Public outrage is intense.

“I have three kids under five! I can’t afford to have the Sandman skip my house.”

“Why don’t they outsource, Dam Gummit?”

“What about those unskilled workers? I mean, how hard is it to toss some sand around?”

On a positive note, all the media coverage has shed some light on a previously unknown world.

“You mean there really is a Sandman?”

“That’s sweet. How exactly do you land a Sandman gig?”

“Do they run a background check on these fellas?”

Needless to say, the Tooth fairy has been shaking in her boots.

Yep, things have been tough for some of our nocturnal magical creatures.

Think Santa’s safe?

Eek.

Birthday Fairy

2011-04-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

Had a visit from the birthday fairy last week.

This year, the fairy was particularly scary.

She was crabby. Growly. Grinchy, even.

I also noticed her hair was a bit greyer.

I tried to welcome her with open arms.

“Hey! It’s my birthday again! Yeah!”

But, my enthusiasm was met with snarls.

Seems even she’s getting sick of herself.

**Poor thing**

So, I advised her to cut back on her work load.

Cut her schedule in half even.

Heck, I was OK with half the visits she had been paying me lately.

I know my friends would be on board with the idea as well. Maybe a tentative every other leap year schedule? Works for me!

Think I’m on to something?

Friday, gotta love the guy!

2011-04-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

I think I have a crush on Friday.

By mid-week, I get weak in the knees anticipating his arrival. On Thursday, it begins to sink in. He’s coming!

And, when he arrives, I embrace him and cover him with wet kisses! Oh! Friday! Friday! Friday! My favorite, favorite day!

Friday is that kind of a guy. He fills your head with promises of lazy Saturday mornings, breakfast in bed, picnics in the park and nights out on the town.

He’s a bit of a lady’s man, really. All over town, ladies bat their eyelashes his way, hoping he’ll pay them a visit. And, although he is a love-‘em-and-leave-‘em type, there does seem to be enough of him to go around. He never seems to disappoint. I mean, who complains about Friday?

And, I’ve never known anyone to fight over the guy. Rather, everyone is thrilled just to get their tiny piece of the pie. “Thank God!! It’s Friday!”

As a matter of fact, I think the men are in on this, too. There seems to be a collective sigh heard around the world upon his end of the week arrival.

Everyone is giddy. A little lighter. More relaxed.

Then, he leaves us as quickly as he came, hand in hand with Lady Sunday. Heartbroken, we’re left with some boring guy named Monday. You know the type. All work and no play. Nose to the grindstone. Beady eyed. Cranky. And really teed off that he missed the party.

What a gigolo, that Friday guy, huh? A regular Good Time Charlie.

Sigh.

But, we always take him back, don’t we?

Mommy Morphing

2011-03-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

I suffer from Mamma Morphing Disorder. I spontaneously morph into various personalities to suit the situation.

Sometimes I am an old hag complete with a wart and hump shouting my commands and demands.

“For the last time!! Clean up this mess!!”

I am a witch perched atop a broom.

“Time for bed, my pretties!! (insert cackle)”

I am a furry beast baring yellow fangs.

“What did you say? GRRRR!”

I am a house troll chained beneath the stair.

“This laundry will be the death of me!”

I am a wicked schoolmarm armed with ruler and whistle.

“SHHHHHH!”

I am a hunchback in the bell tower, dragging my foot behind me.

“Really, how long has it been since I’ve had a good wax and cut?”

Happily, on rare occasion, I am the Fairy Godmother smiling from amongst the silvery pumpkins.

“Ice cream for everybody. Yeah!”

It’s a regular Disney circus around here.

A storybook soiree.

A cartoon carnival.

A bit of a beastie ball.

Sigh.

Sometimes this revolving door of Disney characters gets the best of me.

“Back in the closet, Tabitha and Isadora. Tuesdays are your day, remember? “

A bit of a scheduling nightmare, really.

Kinda hard to keep up.

**This is a repost from two years ago, 'cuz I'm having that kind of a day.**

Dino Mom

2011-02-22T08:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like a dino-mom.

Ancient and over the hill. Big and scaly. Roaring and cranky, too.

But, then my little dino-child comes around with a curiosity for all things dino.

“Mommy, what’s this?”

“Who’s that?”

“Why? Why, Mommy, why?”

She skips and dances, humming a tune. She throws her arms around me and professes her love for my dino-mom self.

Then, I smile and think that maybe being a dino-mom isn’t too bad.

Maybe a dino-mom is the best kinda mom to be.

I then go about my day less grouchy, less roary and somehow less ancient.

Later on, I sit down to share a cup of coffee with the T-Rex-mom up the street.

‘Cuz, you know, there’s always a bigger and badder dino on the block.

Kinda made me look like a harmless newt.

Geriatric Washer and Dryer

2011-02-18T15:34:00.000-08:00

As you know, I have been struggling with the laundry lately. I’ve been stalked by laundry, seduced by laundry and just driven mad by it.

It’s the hamster wheel of my life.

“Wash it. Sort it. Fold it. Put it away. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.”

Then, my washing machine began to complain.

“My back. My aching back. You never give me a break,” she squawked.

She was a granny of a washer, hand in hand with a grandpa of a dryer. Not quite the duo I needed to help with a young family and spring cleaning.

So, I decided to send them packing to the old folk’s home for appliances. They didn’t complain as we loaded them into the van. They looked happy to come face to face with their retirement years.

As for their replacements, well, I got a couple slinky little numbers over at smarter.com. They have really cheap washers and dryers, I’m telling ya.

You’ll find top brands like Whirlpool, GE and LG. The prices are tops. And, the models are young and eager to please.

‘Cuz if you are going to run with this rowdy crowd of dirty socks, you’ve got to be built like a workhorse.

Good thing I got a good price.

Birds, Bees and Some Naughty Laundry

2011-02-16T14:43:00.000-08:00

I was once again grumbling over a hill of dirty socks, per usual.

The sweat was pouring down my face as I wrestled the darks and roughed up the whites. The teetering laundry pile was far higher than I had seen it before. I had been working on it all morning and barely made a dent. I surmised that the clothes must have had their way with one another because the rate in which it multiplied was maddening.

It was true, some laundry mating must have occurred.

And, I knew what I had to do.

I needed to find the Pappa of the bunch and promptly send him to Dr. Snippity Snip.

I dug and I dug, finally finding what I suspected to be the culprit.

He lay there, immodestly clinging to a pair of lacy panties.

A pair of flannel boxers, fly open wide, he was.

I grabbed him by the waistband and said, “No more fun for you, Pal!”

He responded with surprise, “Hey, lady, I was just getting to first base!”

I marched out to the garage and opened the trashcan.

He started to squeal. “Why you raining on my parade? What did I ever do to you?”

I looked him in the fly…er…eye….before saying, “The work around here is never ending! You and that funny business in the laundry basket are making me old before my time!”

Then he started to soften a bit. “Ah, doll. I never knew. How about a little foot massage? I can fix you up with a pair of athletic socks.”

I gave him another look and began to succumb to his charms.

“A foot massage?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” he assured me. “I’m in good with the whole sock crew. I can make you feel real good, little lady. “

Before I knew it, that rascal had convinced me to bring him back inside to continue with his date with the lacy unmentionables.

And, now, I’m sitting here with a single, one eyed, unmated sock named Gladys rubbing my feet while I listen to the laundry pile writhe and moan.

Kinda makes for an interesting afternoon.

A Valentine's Yowza

2011-02-14T07:41:00.000-08:00

My kindergartener runs out of her classroom at the end of each day with reckless abandon. Her backpack is bouncing and her jacket is falling off as she giggles and jumps her way into my arms. Her mood is contagious. Her little sister and I hold each of her hands and the three of us hop-skip to our van, laughing the whole way. They each beg me to swing them around and I oblige, lifting each one into the sky before helping them into their car seats.

What is so funny?

I don’t know.

But, I enjoy the moment.

Of course, the day quickly returns to laundry and Mattel madness once we return home. But, for a few glorious moments each day, we experience a bit of glittery magic.

Later that afternoon, I decided to sprinkle some magic on hubby.

I skip and jump my way into his arms as he returns home from work and I cover him with kisses. My laughter is without reason. I hold his hand and skip-hop into our living room. I turn and face him and beg him to swing me in the air.

The result?

Hubs was confused when he did not find the usual lady in sweat pants hissing over a mountain of laundry, of course. But, being the man he is, he seized the moment. I am not one to kiss and tell. But, I can say results were had.

Yowza!

May you find yourself skip-hopping somewhere hand in hand with someone you love today, too. Happy Valentine’s!

Looking for Inexpensive Glasses on the Web?

2011-02-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

Stop Being Lazy and Start Shopping Wisely for Glasses

When was the last time you had to buy glasses? If it was over two years ago, you’re due for a new pair. If you bought your last pair at your local eyeglasses store, you know that it’s time to wrangle in some funds in order to buy fashion glasses that are over priced - even cheap designer glasses are over priced. Have you turned online? What are you afraid of?

Sure, the Internet is full of stores that sell cheap glasses and cheap prescription sunglasses but, rest assured, there’s one online store that allows you to buy glasses online at a discount but the glasses aren’t cheap. No no no, they’re quality glasses with a cheap or discounted price tag - GlassesUSA.com. So, a lot of people put “getting healthy” on that pesky resolution list but they probably left vision care out of that group - which is kinda silly. If it’s been a while since your last eye exam, now’s a good time to get your eyes checked.

The next time you need to buy glasses frames - even if they’re just replacements, shop online for discount glasses from GlassesUSA. Stop buying what you think are “cheap glasses” from your local optical store and start shopping online. It’ll save you time and money in the long run.

MammaTalk readers can also take 10% off their next order when they use the code: Mommy10.

**This was a sponsored post. Thank you Glassesusa!**