Mental Vomit

I won't be posting much this month. To make up for that here are some pretty pictures.

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:10:00 +0000

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Have I mentioned that? My Halloween weekend was awesome to the max. I had a great time. In my last post I showed you guys a picture of my girls all dressed up in their costumes. Do you remember? No. Well let me post it again so I can refresh your memory.

Granted this isn't the exact picture I posted. But I don't know where that other one is. Still you get the point. Bear Bear was a devil and Issa was a ballerina. But the thing is, you can't really tell that Issa is a ballerina. So we ended up getting her a different costume. Et voila:

Behold, she is a princess ballerina. Not too terribly different from her princess costume last year:

She was very tired when this picture was taken. And since I am showing off Halloween pictures from last year, here is Bear Bear as a leopard:

Doesn't that just make you want to say "awww...."? Not to mention that she is not even a year old in that picture. [And she will be 2 years old on the 5th] She has grown alot in the past year. Here she is this year for Halloween:

Time really does fly once you become a mother. 2009 marked Bear Bear's 2nd Halloween and Issa's 5th! So I have to dig up pictures from Alyssa's other 3 Halloweens. Let's see:

Here is Issa at 2 years old. A few weeks before the entrance of her little sister into the world. She was a Renaissance Angel that year. But we didn't do anything because I was far too pregnant:

And daddy had to work. So we dressed up, took pretty pictures and that was it. If her Renaissance Angel costume looks surprisingly like her Princess costume from the following year, that's because it is the same. We just took off the wings and added the crown. And it was totally ok since we didn't even get to use the Renaissance Angel costume for anything other than taking pictures.

Let's see what years I have covered so far: 2009, 2008 and 2007. Looks like it is time for Issa's 2006 Halloween :

Look at that dirty face! My sweet Issa at 1 year old. And a younger skinnier me at 20. Wow! How the time does fly! Daddy was deployed for this Halloween so it was just me and Issa that year.

Unfortunately, I don't seem to have a picture from Issa's first Halloween on the computer and who knows where the original copy is. She was only 2 months old at the time and we had just moved from Washington State to Alabama so we really couldn't do much. All we did that year was buy her a headband and stay home and pass out candy to trick or treaters. It was our first C and I's first Halloween together. It's amazing how much things have changed since then, huh!

Well I hope you guys enjoyed this little trip down memory lane. Tomorrow I will actually post about what we did this weekend! I hope everyone else had a great Halloween as well!

Wordless Wednesday

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:25:00 +0000

6WS

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 17:30:00 +0000

Cleaning & Playing Dress Up! Fun!

It's not enough that I give all I've got to my family, now complete strangers want a piece of me, too?

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 18:20:00 +0000

So by now, I am sure all of my readers know that I have a BlackBerry. Right? Right.

Well anyone who owns a BlackBerry knows all about BBM, BlackBerry Messenger. BBM is a neat little application that links BlackBerry owners the world over. When I first got my BlackBerry I almost instantly joined the forums at CrackBerry.com so that I could meet other CrackBerry addicts. This is where I learned all about PIN numbers and BBM. Foolishly I displayed my PIN number for the world to see, and was almost immediately overwhelmed with friend request from guys that wanted to "swap pics." Um, no. Usually all it would take to make these guys go away is to say "I am married." and instantly they would delete me from their friends list. I took my PIN down and eventually the onslaught of horny males looking for a digital booty call died down.

A few weeks went by and I decided that I had actually met a few people via BBM that seemed pretty cool so I put my PIN back up with a notation on the side letting EVERYONE know I was married. I didn't get near as many requests this time around, but the people that wanted to add me just wanted someone to chat with when they were bored at work. This works out perfectly for me. I get to talk to people who just want to talk. [Without secret objectives of seeing me naked.] Every once in a while I would still get a random request from some stupid guy on a quest for naked pictures, but when I quit using the site altogether, the requests died out. And I still got to maintain contact with a few awesome BBM buddies.

Imagine my surprise when a few days ago I got a request from some guy named Dub D! I was reluctant to accept him at first, sure that this was just some random guy that was looking for a hook up, but eventually I gave in and added him just to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Our first conversation went well enough. He was thrilled to hear that I was married and proceeded to tell me all about his girlfriend and how much he loved her blah blah blah. He then tells me that he was actually hoping to meet people that would be able to give him relationship advice and says he might "hit me up" for some advice from time to time. I tell him that I will help him if I can whenever he needs it. [--Thinking that this guy has got to have someone else he can go to for advice before he asks a complete stranger on BBM--]

Then it seems like the next day he messaged me, telling me that him and his girlfriend had broken up and he was asking ME what to do. Um, what? Who are you again?

[--internal groaning--]

So I spent an hour trying my best to give this guy advice on a relationship I knew nothing about. All I knew were the little details he would tell me. Based off 2 conversations with this guy I am supposed to help him put his relationship back together? And then what? Am I supposed to feel like an asshole when the advice I give him doesn't work? I dread the coming days because I feel sure that he will message me with the intimate details of his dysfunctional relationship, and whether or not my advice has been any help.

I would delete him from my list altogether, but that would make me feel like a jerk. He seems to be a nice guy. But really? If he is going to run to me for advice every time his girlfriend looks at him weird, I think that this BBM friendship is not going to work out.

Have any of you guys had to deal with a needy online buddy before? How did you deal with them? How should I deal with Mr. Dub D? Leave a comment and let me know.

P.S. - If any of my bloggy buddies out there own a BlackBerry and want to be BBM buddies, just message me at poisongrl21@gmail.com with your PIN and I will message you mine back. I am always up for some BBM chat!

Aspect

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:15:00 +0000

Every aspect of this life was changing for me. Changing in ways I never thought it would. The little pink plus sign said it all. Pregnant. Pregnant at 18. Wow. I never would have thought it would happen to me. But really, who plans these things? It was time to change now. Time to grow up. Whether I was ready for it or not.

I Know This Place. I've Been Here Before.

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:45:00 +0000

*** DISCLAIMER -- This blog will contain references to girly crap like birth control and periods. So if you don't feel like reading about that kind of feminine goodness please exit now. Have a nice day.

I have been in a rut these past few days. Depressed and what not. It comes and goes. Hate when its here, love when its gone. Anyways, I finally made the appointment I should have made back in April.

[--A little back story here... in March I had a pretty severe breakdown, went to the ER, told them I was completely fucked in the head, had them send me home with a week long prescription of Prozac and a follow up appointment at a clinic on the other side of the island. The week I was on Prozac was probably the most balanced week I have had in the past 2 years. I thought that was odd, because being a nurse I knew that it takes anti-depressants weeks to build up in your system and start working. Anyways, I went to said follow up appointment and lo and behold the guy is just a social worker and cannot prescribe me any more Prozac. But he has an awesome deal with an online herbal supplement company, so he gives me the names of a few things I should try and a special code to put in when I checkout that will save me some $$$. I figure the guy must get a kickback from every person he refers to the site. Nice way to make extra money from your crazy patients, guy. Anywho... I spent about an hour talking to this guy. We decide that it must be my birth control making me so crazy, which made sense because the hard core instability issues started around the time I went on it, and he says that I should go off of it to see if that helps with my mood swings. I procrastinated about making the appointment to go off my birth control, because I am on the IUD and its not like I can just stop taking a pill. I have to go in and have a doctor physically remove it. No fun. Hence the months and months of procrastination.--]

So I called a few days ago and made my annual girly appointment and asked the lady if she could make a note or whatever letting the doctor know that i would like to have my IUD removed. She's like, "No I can't make that note, but just tell the doctor when he comes in the room." Ok fine. I will. I could tell she was in a hurry to get to the next caller who needed to make an appointment, so I just let it drop without any more questions.

But I am worried that maybe the doctor won't be able to do both things in one appointment. It seems like the kind of lame run around crap that I have come to expect from this stupid hospital. I can just imagine it now. The doctor comes in the room, I ask him if he can remove my IUD since he is gonna be poking around down in that region anyways, and he will tell me that I need to make a separate appointment for THAT. Ugh, whatever. I am sure that all of this is just a product of me forever worrying about small stuff. But we will see what actually happens. I am keeping fingers and toes crossed that this will happen the way I need it to happen, because I don't want to spend another 6 months dreading calling and making another appointment.

So November 4th is the day of my appointment. Wish me luck. I'll need it.

I am also considering whether or not I should ask the doctor to put me back on Prozac. The doctors at that hospital are already over-worked and I don't want to stress the guy out by showing up for a simple Pap and then demanding all kinds of stuff. So I guess I will just wait until I actually meet the guy. [--GREAT thing about TriCare, he is my primary doctor, yet, I have never in my life met this man. And the first time I meet him he will get to see E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. I have to offer. Good times.--] If he seems like one of the rare nice guys that actually care about their patients I might hit him up for some happy pills. But I will just have to wait and see how things go.

I am really hoping that once this demon piece of plastic is out of me, I will be able to maintain my moods alot better and also be able to start losing weight. My weight is one of the things has truly perplexed me. I have gained 40 pounds since I have been on the IUD. It has been a slow and stead weight gain. And I would blame it on being lazy, but honestly that's just not the case. I mean, yes, I am lazy. But I have tried to lose the weight. I have dieted and exercised, and kept it up long enough to where I should have seen some kind of small change. But I never did. I never dropped a single pound. And in some cases I even gained. So you can imagine how unbelievably unmotivating that is. And after I had Issa I dropped the weight fairly easily. I mean, yes, I had to work at it, but still I started seeing results right away. And it is easy to keep going when you know that you are actually making progress. But this time around, nada. I dropped 20 pounds in the month after I had Bear Bear, but as soon as I went on birth control I gained it back. Plus another 20. And the only difference I can see is that I am on birth control this time around. [--No need for it after I had Issa since hubby deployed when she was 5 months old. I did get one shot of Depo which caused me to gain 30 pounds in 1 month, but after that I stayed away from birth control altogether.--] So I have decided that starting November 1st, I will start a blog exclusively to keep track of my weight loss. And we'll see how things go from there.

Oh and since I put it in my disclaimer at the top. The whole period thing. Yeah I haven't had a period since April. I freaked out when it first went AWOL and took a pregnancy test, but I got a big fat negative. [--THANK GOODNESS--] So I assume [--after researching it, of course.--] that the missing period is a side effect of the demon piece of plastic, and perhaps the only side effect sans no pregnancy that I have enjoyed. So I will miss having no period, as I am sure that it will come back with avengence once I have the IUD removed. Oh well. It will be totally worth it if I can regain my sanity and drop all 80+ lbs of my accumulated baby weight.

And that's all for now. If anyone stayed to read the whole thing, thanks for listening.

6WS

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:57:00 +0000

★ Halloween Shopping Today! I Can't Wait! ★

So it's a quarter til 2am and instead of sleeping, I decided to blog...

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:19:00 +0000

Brace yourself for this guys and girls... It would appear another filthy bug has found its way into our lovely home. Last night [or night before last if you want to get technical] C started showing some allergy symptoms. They came on hella fast. It was crazy. Knowing that his allergies tend to go haywire from time to time without any reasonable cause, I figured that was all that was wrong and I told him he will feel better after he got some sleep.

The next morning I was awoken at 5am by some not so pleasant sounds emanating from the bathroom. Half asleep, I asked C if he was ok and he said yeah. So I thought nothing more about it until after I was fully awake 3 or 4 hours later. I was texting C while he was at work and asked if he was feeling ok and he mentioned his stomach was a little queasy. So I told him that the last thing we needed was for swine flu to find its way into our house and that he needed to make an appointment. ASAP. Luckily, C works at a hospital and was able to get an appointment that afternoon. Turns out C is having some allergy issues but has some kind of virus as well. The virus is supposed to be at its worst today, but after that he should be feeling better. Good news at least. We don't need another week long illness working its way through the family.

The bad news part of this however is that Bear Bear is sick again. Issa and I are fine, because we have super immune systems, but unfortunately Bear Bear did not seem to inherit my resilience. I shudder to think of our healthcare expenses when C gets out of the Army next year. C has always got something going on with him, and it seems that Bear Bear is going to try to follow in daddy's footsteps. Not good. Not good at all. This whole Health Care Reform can kick in any time as far as I am concerned.

Thats about all that is new at the moment. We have a pretty big weekend planned and as long as this virus is really as short term as the doctor told C that it will be, I should have some pretty good blog fodder for next week. We shall see.

Before I go, I wanted to share some of the pictures I took at Aloha Tower yesterday.

This is Aloha Tower . It is a lighthouse that was built September 11th, 1926 at Pier 9 of Honolulu Harbor. It is 10 stories tall and for 40 years was the tallest building in Hawaii. If you want to know more about it just click the link. [Wikipedia is a beautiful thing.]

This has been on my "List of Things to do in Hawaii" for a while. Yet another item crossed off! [*Yay*] I ended up going up to the top of the tower by myself because the elevator was too tiny to accommodate out huge double stroller. [*Don't worry, I didn't abandon the kids at the bottom while I went up. C was there with them.*]

There are 4 Observation Decks at the top of Aloha Tower, one on each side of the building. I took pictures from each deck.

Here is the view from the front of Aloha Tower.

The view immediately behind Aloha Tower. This is downtown Honolulu.

The view towards Diamondhead. You can see some more of downtown, and at the bottom you can see 2 boats. The white one is the Star of Honolulu and the other one is the Falls of Clyde , which is the only iron-hulled, 4 masted ship in the world.

And here is a view of Honolulu Harbor.

And just because I could not resist the cuteness, here is a tug boat I saw while I was snapping away pictures!

I think that's all for now! Wish us luck that this virus vacates the premises today so that I can bring you guys some more Hawaiian goodness! Have a good day all!

Silly Haiku Wednesday and a [small] update.

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

It has been over a month since I have participated, but I am sure Jenn understands since she knows I had no internet! Anyways... I'm back in the game now!

This weeks theme is: PASSION

Passion For My Husband:

My Lover, My King

My Heart Beats for Only You.

I'll Love You Always.

Passion For My Daughters:

Watching My Daughters

Listening to Their Laughter

Savor This Moment

Passion For Writing:

The Bite of my Pen

Into Fresh Sheets of Paper

Is Such Sweet Release

Passion For My Morning Coffee [you can laugh]:

Morning Ritual

Coffee, Sugar and Creamer

Revive Me From Sleep

You should definitely head over to Jenn's blog and check out her haiku and maybe even add your own! I promise it is addicting.

I took this picture today of C and the girls while we were at Aloha Tower Marketplace. It is rare that I get all 3 in one shot, so of course it instantly became one of my favorites. I just had to share it with you guys.

So about Project 365... yeah, I am going to have to consider it a lost cause. It hurts my heart, but I am already over a month behind and I just don't see how I will catch up again. So I think I will postpone it until the new year. And I will make it one of my new years resolutions.

I plan on participating in NaNo WriMo next month, so I don't know how often I will be able to blog. But we will see how it goes. Anyone else participating? Let me know in the comments.

Well that is all for now. Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog and I will share some more pictures from Aloha Tower!!

Have a good night, all and Happy Silly Haiku Wednesday!

You guys are just too good to me!!!

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 05:40:00 +0000

So Jenn at You know... that Blog? has decided that my little slice of the internet here deserves an award! It makes me unbelievably happy when people think of me for these things. This is the award that Miss Jenn so generously bestowed upon me and my blog:

Along with this award comes some responsibility. Here are the rules:

*Say thank you and give a link to the presenter of the award
*Share “10 Honest Things” about myself
*Present the award to 10 other bloggers whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design or to those who have encouraged me
*Be sure to tell the 10 bloggers chosen that you are giving them the Honest Scrap award and provide the guidelines for them

*WHEW* The 10 Honest things is easy enough, but 10 Bloggers I find brilliant? That one might be a little bit tougher.

Here we go!!!!

10 [Brutally] Honest Things About Yours Truly:

When I was 15 years old, my first love committed suicide. It is the most tragic event I have experienced yet in my lifetime and has effected more than anyone can ever know.
Ever since I was 15, for obvious reasons, I have been in and out of mental stability. Seeking help on several different occasions and only taken seriously once.
I learned more online about my mental illness than I ever have from any doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist. I am about 110% sure that I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
From the ages 15-19 I wanted to be a psychologist and work with teens who were dealing with depression.
At age 19 I changed my mind because I got pregnant and decided I wanted to deliver babies more. [It's funny how the events in your lifetime shape you.]
My husband is not my oldest daughters biological father. But he has been there with me since I was 4 months pregnant with her, and has always always accepted her as his own.
My husband and I moved in together after only being together for 2 months.
We were married after 4.
The 2 bullets above both [statistically] suggest that my husband and I will get divorced. As does the fact that we were married young, had a child from a previous relationship, the fact that he smokes and I don't, and a whole list of other crap that statistics say will destroy out marriage.
I say screw statistics. I have never met a more perfect match than my husband, and he truly is my best friend.

Yeah, that part was pretty easy. I got no problem sharing my deep dark secrets with you guys. What is a blog for anyways?

Now for the hard part.

10 Worthy & Brilliant Bloggers:

Snarky A. at Snarky Much?
Nilmary at 3:30 PM
Lizzie at Cheerio Confessions
Debbi at Debbi's Thoughts
Princess Andy at Finding Fairy Tales
Silver Star at I Married Into the Army
LoneK8 at Practical Pablum
Nicole at The Gonzalez Clan

Darn... I am 2 people short!! It's just that so many on my blog roll have already received this award and I would feel like a douchebag for giving them the same award all over again. [Kind of like getting a friend the same birthday present as someone else.]

Thanks so much Jenn, and thank you for always being so straightforward in your comments on my blog. No one can tell my to put on my big girl panties quite like you can!! [*wink*]

That's all for now boys and girls, gotta put the monsters to bed!

6WS

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 19:19:00 +0000

It's Good To Be Back Online!

I have missed doing Six Word Saturday so much!

For more Six Word Saturdays, head over to Cate's blog. She is the host of this awesome meme, after all.

So For My 100th Post, Instead of Something Nifty and Insightful, You Get An Explanation for Why I Haven't Blogged in Almost A Month. [But I Am Giving Out An Award To Make Up For My Absence]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:20:00 +0000

Well let's see... the last time I blogged I was just getting over being sick. So I guess I should fill you guys in from there. Right around the time I was getting over that horrible horrible little bug that had me wishing for death, out internet got shut off. Apparently hubby hadn't paid the bill since we moved from the old house. *oops* So Time Warner was like "Fuck You Guys" and turned off everything. Cable, internet, phone. And then came by a week or so later to reclaim all their equipment. (modem and cable box, but the joke is on them because we kept both remote controls. Haha!) Anyways, I could have kept up with blogging from my BlackBerry, but I really didn't want my 100th blog post to come from my phone. I wanted to sit down and think out something insightful and meaningful. [--So much for THAT--]

Moving right along, as I started feeling better, Bear Bear got sick. Like hella sick. Hubby and I are pretty sure she had croup. Her cough was horrible, especially at night, and she was just one miserable baby. She ended up sleeping in our bed most nights and she vomited on pretty much everything in the house. [--Because the coughing would trigger her gag reflex.--] I was thinking that Issa was going to get off easy, because she had a slight fever and a cough for like a day, and then nothing at all. But once Bear Bear got over the worst of her sickness, Issa woke up one morning coughing and clutching her throat. She still got off pretty easy though, compared to the rest of us. I only had to keep her medicated for a day and after that she was fine.

So as everyone was getting over the black death that spread through the house, I prepared myself to start catching up on cleaning. The house was absolutely horrible and the dirty laundry was taking over. So one morning I came downstairs prepared to start my day off with a cup of coffee before diving into scrubbing down E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. and what should happen? I stepped on a piece of glass [-- leftover from when Tika knocked a glass off the counter and shattered it into about a billion pieces.--] It hurt pretty bad but I figured I would be able to just reach down and pull it out. Yeah not so much. A tiny piece of it broke off as I tried to pull it out, and I couldn't get a hold of the rest of it that was left within my foot. I tried using tweezers but it hurt so much that I couldn't really mess with it a whole lot. And it has been about 2-3 weeks ago that this happened, and that damn piece of glass is still in my foot. Only now it is hella deep. [--Because a few times I have fully stepped onto that foot, causing the glass to wedge itself a little bit deeper.--] I am thinking it may take a trip to the doctor to get it out. So yeah that sucks.

Anyways... things have started to look up. We got internet back. Only we have DSL now. Faster speeds and cheaper cost. The only thing that sucks is that hubby can't play certain games on X Box Live while I am on the internet. But other than that DSL seems to be working fine for us. We are still without cable. So there is no more Noggin to keep my kids occupied while I clean. And we have a finite amount of children's movies to keep them occupied. I am so sick of Cinderella, Ratatouille, Bolt and Wow Wow Wubbzy. But oh well. Hubby wants to try Satellite out. I was dead set against it, but he assures me that it will be cheaper and will work fine. So we shall see. The rest of the year is going to be pretty strained financially with Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and 2 birthdays [--3 if you wanna include mine--] to think of. And 2010 is going to be the year we transition from Army to Civilian life. This is a transition that scares the bejeezus out of me. Lots of stress in the foreseeable future. The most I can hope for at this point is the smoothest transition possible. But we will worry about that hurdle more when we come to it. No point in making myself sick over it right now.

Anywho... yep... that is pretty much it. I am sorry that my 100th post had to be a catch up post, but hey, stuff happens.

As for Project 365... I am not completely sure whether I should give up on it, start over or try to catch up. I am sure I will have a better idea of what to do once I actually figure out how far behind I am on it.

Oh and one more thing before I go...

Slacker-Chick gave me an award!

I think it is very awesome that she considered me when passing on this award! Thanks so much Rochelle!!

And in turn, I must pass it on to 5 of my favorite bloggy pals.

First:

1) Kelly @ chainsofyesterday -- for being brave enough to open up about her identity and share with us the struggles she is going through at the moment.

2) Artistikem -- who writes some pretty awesome short stories in addition to sharing some of her artwork. I definitely enjoy her site.

3) Nilmary @ 3:30 PM -- Just for being awesome in general!

4) Debbi @ Debbi's Thoughts -- For being my online/blog pal for a few years now. I sometimes forget that I have never met her in real life!

5) Nicole @ The Gonzalez Clan -- She may not post often, but she's got 3 kids under 4 so you'd better believe she's got her hands full!

Anyways, thats my 5 for the Superior Scribbler Award!

The Rules:

Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.

Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.

Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!

Okie dokie. That's all for now! Hopefully I will be able to get back into blogging on a daily or near daily basis! Missed you guys!!

Coming to you live from her deathbed...

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:31:00 +0000

... Ok. So maybe that is an exaggeration. I haven't been exactly on my deathbed, more like my deathcouch. And maybe not exactly "death", more like "Holy-Hell-I-Am-So-Sick-I-Wish-I-Could-Just-Roll-Over-And-Die." I'm still not at 100% this morning but I am definitely feeling better, other than my throat, which feels like someone scrubbed the inside of with sandpaper while I was asleep last night. My fever finally broke. It was up and down for a couple of days thoroughly cooking my brain and rendering me useless. Thank goodness hubby had like a bajillion days off from work because he was sick, too. Even though he was sick, he took great care of me and let me spend almost all of my time trying to sleep off whatever in the hell it was that was [and still partially is] wrong with me. He returned to work today so I have no choice but to pull myself together and be productive. I mean I am pretty sure my kids are going to expect to eat today. They are just so needy like that.

I am sure those of you who actually read the stuff I post have realized that I haven't posted in a while. I don't even want to think about how far behind I am on Project 365. [Ugh!] Well the sickness can only account for part of that time. The other part of that time was spent freaking out. Not over anything in particular. I just do that sometimes. [Quite often actually.] I get pretty unstable from time to time, but I am going to save that story for tomorrow. [For my 100th post on this blog!] But yeah... Being Bat Shit Crazy + Sick As A Damn Dog = No Blogging or Pretty Picture Taking. I am hoping things will pick up again though. I am hoping my little bout of instability has passed so that I can actually be semi-functional again. My house desperately needs my attention. There isn't a single room in it that is not completely trashed.

Anyways... that's all for now guys. I just wanted to let you all know what has been up and why I have been MIA. Hopefully things are settling down now though so I should be able to get back into this again! Have a great day all!

Project 365 [Day 49]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 20:23:00 +0000

I had a play date today with Nilmary . But here is the thing, Miss Nilmary lives on one side of base and I live on the other. Dividing the base is a 6 lane highway. To cross said highway I had to push my double stroller, carrying both kids, each weighing around 30 pounds, up this killer bridge of death. Add to this the 10 or so pounds of motherly crap I have to lug around everywhere with me, because god forbid the kids don't have their juice boxes or animal crackers, and also the 10 or so pounds the stroller weighs, and that is [at least] 80 lbs I had to push up this massive concrete incline. Trust me, my heart rate hasn't been that high since I saw Dark Knight in theaters and the faux batman crashed into the window. [I mean really, do the sound effects need to be THAT loud?] Anyways... I got a good work out in to say the least. It is about a 20-30 minute walk from where I live to the park we had the play date at. And the girls had a great time. I am so glad that Issa and Bear Bear and making new friends, especially since their old ones moved away. And I can always enjoy adult interaction!

Anyways, that's all for today. But as long as my plans work out I should have something special in store for tomorrow!

Project 365 [Day 48]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 20:23:00 +0000

I won't lie. This is total a filler picture. Something I had on my phone that I had not uploaded yet. It is nothing special, just a trellis that lies between the housing office and community center. I was out for a walk and thought it was pretty so I decided that I would take a picture. Too bad I couldn't get the colors right when I was editing. *Sigh*

Project 365 [Day 47]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:22:00 +0000

Bella and Nibbler all snuggled up together for a nap. I know you guys have to be absolutely sick of seeing the rats, but hey... this is the only picture I took today!

Better one tomorrow, promise!

Project 365 [Day 46]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:21:00 +0000

Today was such a lazy rainy day. Nobody even bothered getting out of their pajamas today. we all bummed around and didn't do much of anything. It was nice. On the down side to bumming around though, we didn't de-flea the house today. I might try taking on the task by myself tomorrow. We shall see.

Anyway this a picture of Bear Bear with her favorite toy: her ball. She loves it so much she just had to take it to bed with her. Which spurred Issa to ask if she could take her ball to bed with her as well. Of course we said yes. It would not have been fair to tell her no. And despite being put to bed with toys, they seem to be staying quiet up there.

I will have to do a picture of Issa tomorrow since I didn't get one of her today. She wants to dress up as a ballerina tomorrow so we will see how that works out.

At this moment I hear the douchebag neighbors outside. Must be getting ready to start their nightly activities. I really hate living next door to them. I guess my only hope is that they PCS soon. Because I know we are stuck here for at least another year. Ugh. Another year listening to their nonsense almost every night. I can see that ending badly. Let's hope for their sake that they either move or calm the hell down a little bit.

Well that's all for tonight. See you guys tomorrow. [Bright and Early for Measurement Monday.]

Is it safe to come out yet?

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:18:00 +0000

So I spent a good portion of the morning catching up on Project 365. Now I thought I would catch you guys up on everything else that has been going on.

Life has been madness lately. It really has. I am struggling to adjust to having another person living under the same roof, while at the same time struggling to adjust to keeping a larger house clean. I feel like it has been complete chaos. I am constantly going going going, like the Energizer bunny. My kids keep me on my toes and there is ALWAYS a mess somewhere to clean. So in the midst of all that, any time to myself [ ie - blogging, writing, reading, taking pictures] has dissolved to nothing [or has been replaced by sleep]. I am behind on all of my personal hobbies. And semi-behind on housework. [Seriously, if I go even a few hours without doing anything it starts piling up again.] So I am a bit on the overwhelmed side. I am struggling to keep up with everything and failing miserably.

On top of the constant mess, I now have a FLEA problem to deal with. For 2 years we have had Tika and never a single flea. 2 weeks after we bring Nibbler into the house and we are infested. Thank you Petco. The worst part of the flea problem is that they seem to prefer the taste of Bear Bear. That poor baby is bitten up all over and I feel so bad for her. Today we are going to undergo flea extermination though. We already did a flea treatment for the cat and it seems to have worked, so today we are going to bathe both rats in flea shampoo and then clean the carpets. [We have both flea powder and spray] I am hoping that we will be able to get rid of them because it makes me feel horrible to see my Bear Bear covered in flea bites. Wish us luck.

Onto other issues, I have requested a new computer for my birthday. We have had our current computer for almost 4 years now and it definitely shows. It has been a great computer though. It has survived 2 crashes and served us very well. But we have nearly reached the max of memory with both the internal and external hard-drives. So I told C that I would very much like my own computer where I can store all of my pictures and writing. Once I get all of the pictures and Photoshop off of this computer it is going to free up so much memory. And then C can use this computer for games and stuff. My birthday is still 3 months away but I let C know that I was unopposed to receiving my present early. So we will see how things go. I have already picked out the one I want, it is just a matter of saving up so we can afford it.

I suppose you guys are wondering how my demon children are doing. Well Issa and Bear Bear are both doing fine. Issa is 4 going on 16 and oh-so-prissy. She also happens to be addicted to TV, so you should see the hell that rains down in this house when someone turns the channel or when Bear Bear turns the TV off or the volume all the way down. Whew. It is madness. Issa is getting so smart though. Her favorite toy is a magnetic drawing board, and she constantly has it with her. The other day she wrote the first 3 letters of her name for me on it and it completely blew me away. I have worked with her to get her to write her name before but she always gets so frustrated with it. I guess she just picks up things in her own time. Bear Bear is getting smarter by the day as well. She is talking better and better and starting to form sentences. I can't believe it has been almost 2 years since I writhed in agony for 6 and a half hours bringing her chunky 8 lb 15 oz butt into this world. Time goes by entirely too fast when you have kids. But yeah, that is how the girls are doing.

I guess that is about it. I still need to tell you guys about the diet I just started this week, but I am saving that for tomorrow, Measurement Monday. So I will see you guys then and I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

Project 365 [Day 45]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:17:00 +0000

One of the popular tourist attractions here in Hawaii is the Pali Lookout . We have been several times. Mostly because it is one of the few things to do here on Oahu that is still free, [although C says he heard some rumors that they are going to start charging for parking] and partly because it really is a beautiful view. It is very windy up there and very very high up. I am a little bit terrified of heights so that part freaks me out a little bit but I never stay close to the railing for very long so it's okay.

Here is another view, and I was hoping with this one you guys could get a good idea of how high up it is.

Pretty high up, huh?

Well another day down. Like 5 billion more to go before I am caught up!

Project 365 [Day 44]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:39:00 +0000

I have been wanting to get Shrimp from one of these Shrimp trucks around here for a while now. They are all over the place on North Shore, but hubby did some research and found one closer to us. And that is where we went today.

The food was good and a decent price. I got the garlic shrimp plate for a little over $9. It came with 8 shrimp, 2 scoops of rice, corn, salad and garlic bread. So it was a good amount of food for the price. And the shrimp were pretty big as well.

One more thing I can cross off my list of things to do while in Hawaii!

Project 365 [Day 43]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:50:00 +0000

Last night we had both rattie girls out of the cage so the girls could play with them before bed. At one point Chris was sitting at the computer checking on his restaurant in Restaurant City [yet another stupid Facebook game we have become addicted to] and both the girlies were sitting on his shoulder watching the computer screen. I thought it was so adorable how their tales draped down his back together, so I just had to snap a picture.

[And yeah, about the pink/purple/black/heart... Picnik.com has added all of these cool stickers and I figure since I pay $24 a year for Premium I might as well make use of ALL the tools. Not just the photo editing and border!]

I hope you guys find this picture as adorable as I did!

Silly Haiku Wednesday

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:01:00 +0000

This week's theme is: FREESTYLE!!

I am so excited about this weeks theme it is ridiculous. I have a notebook full of random haikus so I am gonna go through it and pick out some of my favorites!

Pertaining to being uninspired:

My notebooks scattered

No inspiration in me

Pages remain blank.

Pertaining to dreams:

Grasping at my dreams.

They are evading my reach.

Come back to me, please!

Pertaining to the therapeutic effect of writing:

The bite of my pen

into fresh sheets of paper

is such sweet release.

Pertaining to the gods of coffee:

Morning ritual:

Coffee, Sugar and Creamer,

Revive me from sleep.

Okie dokie. Your turn guys! What freestyle haikus can you come up with?

Be sure to drop by and tell Jenn "Hello!" and participate in her awesome meme.

Project 365 [Day 42]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:25:00 +0000

I took this picture while sitting in the care in Wal-Mart's parking lot. C had run into the store to pick something up while I waited in the car with the kids. I loved the color of the clouds and how they contrasted with the lights in the parking lot. After I took the picture I saw that I had managed to get the moon in the shot as well, and that made me like it [the picture] even more.

Just a simple picture. That is all.

Project 365 [Day 41]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:58:00 +0000

I want you guys to meet Bella.

Guys this is Bella.

Bella this is the guys.

Bella is my new blue dumbo rat. We had to get Nibbler a buddy and I knew that I wanted to get a blue dumbo rather than one colored like Nibbler just because I was scared I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. As soon as I saw this little girl I knew she was the one. She was the tiniest one there and so cute that she won my heart right away. She is also way more vocal than Nibbler is. She squeaks a lot more and bruxes to show she is content. Bella is also more active than Nibbler is and I think it is because she is younger. Nibbler can't be too old because she is not yet fully grown, but Bella has to be even younger since she is smaller.

Anyways, just wanted to share the newest addition with you guys. And in case you are wondering, we have already introduced Nibbler to Bella and they get along great. They were able to share a cage almost immediately. I can tell that Nibbler is much happier to have a buddy around. I am so glad they bonded so fast. I was really worried that there might be some fighting involved there, but so far so good.

Well thats all for now. Gotta work on catching up on the rest of Project 365. [again]

Project 365 [Day 40]

PoisonGrl21@gmail.com (Jessica) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:56:00 +0000

Today we went through the drive through car wash. How exciting, I know. This is something I actually love to do, which is weird because I remember being terrified of the drive through car wash when I was a kid. But now it kind of fascinates me. Especially when the different colors of soap get sprayed onto the car. It looks so cool! [I am VERY easy to amuse. Just in case you have not yet noticed. I like shiny stuff, too.]

Anyways - while this may be something I enjoy doing, Bear Bear absolutely hates it. It terrifies her. She screams and shakes throughout the entire process. So usually I try to spare her the horror. But today I was feeling selfish and I really needed to get out of the house right then so I insisted C take all of us with him so that we could just head out and do whatever right after the car wash was finished. Hey, I never claimed to be the greatest mom ever. And besides, she's gotta face that fear sometime, right? Eh, whatever. She bounces back as soon as it is over, so I know I am not forcing her into therapy or anything when she is older. "Mommy, would make me go to the car wash with her, even though she knew I was terrified of it!!" I wonder what the psychologist would say about that?

Well, that's all for today.