Sincerity

A Hand Picked New Year

2012-01-04T10:39:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Another new year has begun. 2012 will be filled with many new experiences. And it is with a mix of wonder and excitement that I peer into the foggy future coming my way. Will it be a year that sees dreams come true? Will this be the year that Christ returns? Who knows what will happen! Anything is possible! What I know for certain is that 2012 will change each of us. Hopefully for the better.

For me 2011 was memorable, filled with trials and tests. That's not to say the whole year was difficult. I had great experiences too. But the last events of 2011 left my family and I exhausted. My closest uncle, one I love deeply, nearly died from a burst appendix only a week before Christmas. But by God's grace he survived the operation and doctors have called his case unexplainable. By all accounts he should have died. By the time he went to the ER his appendix had already burst and had been spreading infection for 6 days. But he felt no pain. He simply felt a bit nauseated and had a slight fever that wouldn't go away.

When the surgeons opened him they found gangrene in his colon and had to remove several centimeters of his large and small intestine. Their prognosis was grim. But we had an army of Christians praying for my uncle. And although God could have taken him anyway I believe that my uncle still has work to do on Earth for the kingdom.

My mother had taken a flight to be with he and his wife during that difficult time. I remained at home finishing obligations at work, caring for grandmother, and preparing all the meals for the whole family. Things were a little-bit crazy at the time because Christmas was also approaching and there were many preparations and performances I had to give.

By God's grace things worked out. But two days before my mother was to return, on her anniversary day no less, her favorite cat died. We did everything we could to keep it alive for her but the poor little guy just couldn't do it. He was 22 years old.

After all the craziness was over there was an incredible peace that settled over all of us for Christmas. We realized that the funeral we had in 2011 for a beloved cat could have been for a beloved uncle and we counted our blessings. Pets are like family too, especially if they've been around for so long, but nothing compares to the loss of a human life. And so I am very grateful that God did not allow that sorrow to overshadow our Christmas.

So, 2012 looks bright with promise for me right now. I have a lot to be thankful for. God is sovereign in all he allows.

On the radio the other day I was listening to Joni Eareckson Tada. She has an amazing testimony. Joni said many wise things but her final words touched me. She said: " God hand picks our trials."

How true. He doesn't just let things happen to us randomly. He plans and prepares every trial, big or small, in our lives. That brings me a level of comfort because I don't know what will happen this year. But I do know that God is in control and caring for me and you.

"' I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Christmas Comet Lovejoy

2011-12-28T10:08:00.000-08:00

The photo above is not doctored in any way. This is a photo taken by NASA astronaut Daniel Burbank, commander of the International Space Station on December 21, 2011. He and fellow astronauts were documenting storms from space when they were surprised be a sudden streak of green across the dark of space. It came just before the rise of the sun and left everyone on board amazed.

Below is the video they took of such a rare and awesome event. Once again I am awed by God's amazing creation.

" He counts the stars and calls them each by name." Psalm 147: 4

Happiness or Joy?

2011-12-23T07:44:00.000-08:00

Happiness is an emotion. Joy is a state of being. It is not fickle like our emotions which are easily swayed by circumstances.

How does this Christmas season find you? Are you surrounded by family and friends? Are you healthy? Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Are you alone?

The world, all of its advertising and entertainment, shout that we should all be happy at this time of year. We should be happy because we have a new item. We should be happy because that next great movie, CD, meal, (fill in the blank) is coming to you.

But none of those things help when you are struggling to keep your head up high, feeling more like you want to cry than laugh. Every Christmas carol and every sight of happy twinkling lights fills you with sadness. Memories flood your mind and your heart aches. What do you do if you have no family to celebrate with? What do you do if you feel lonely and nothing provides relief? Does anyone even care?

These were my thoughts over the past few days. I'm happy. Emotion. But I'm also joyful because of God's love for me and my family. We are together yet another year and that is a tremendous gift from Him.

As I've been running around trying to balance responsibilities at work, care for my grandmother while mom's been away, make cookies for students and friends, I was growing increasingly more exhausted.

There was so much I wanted to do! But I couldn't do everything. And I finally had to take a break from all the running around to reflect on what Christmas really means. God reminded me that I have to focus and do the things that really matter. And that realization made me see that for those who are lonely and hurting the best gift I could ever give was my time.

I had been tempted to cancel a meeting with a friend earlier this week. " I'm so busy! How can I make time to visit when I have so much to do?"

Those were my initial thoughts. But then I remembered that this friend doesn't have anyone right now. And then I felt ashamed that I couldn't even spare an hour to visit someone who really needed a friend. So I grabbed some the cookies I made, wrapped them up nice and pretty, and went to make a visit.

And you know what ended up happening? I had gone with the intention of encouraging and uplifting. But at the end of the visit I found myself feeling encouraged and uplifted to the point that I didn't want to leave.

Of course my friend was happier too. But I left that evening feeling as if I received double of whatever I gave. It was as if God was showering me with his love. At one point during the visit I was close to tears. And I learned something. God is so very close to us when we share his love with others. I had gone with intention of giving my friend some happiness. Emotion. And we both finished the evening experiencing joy. State of being. And through joy we felt happy. Nice how that works.

The time we spend with others is what they will remember of us. The memories of our attitudes, our words, everything we are.

So my prayer for all of us is simply this: May God grant us the courage to love those that He brings into our lives.

He knew since the beginning of time what this year would look like for you and me. He knows what is coming in the new year. Trust in Him, cling to Him, and know that he will fill your heart with a new song. God bless you this Christmas. I wish you... joy.

Chrysalis

2011-12-06T20:46:00.001-08:00

God is not offended by our humanity.

When I first heard this sentence it amazed me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I mean, honestly, life can be messy. Life can be gross. Life can be one big disappointment.

Its no wonder why childhood, in retrospect, seems so wonderful. When we're that young and naive we are sheltered from most of the ugliness life has to give. But as we grow older and wiser we become increasingly aware of life's difficult realities. Such as the fact that we are all aging. We are all terminal. We will all experience health failures and we will all die.

Period. No exceptions. Unless Jesus returns first.

Just this past weekend an uncle I love very dearly was rushed to the ER because of a ruptured appendix. When the doctors opened him up they found gangrene in his colon and had to remove a significant amount of it to try and rid his body of the infection.

My uncle loves the Lord and has been faithful. To learn that this terrible situation happened to him was quite a shock. He's alive and fighting for his health, by God's grace.

But his situation got me thinking about all the times I had been sick. I'm sure my uncle is looking forward to feeling better and being able to care for his body on his own again. Even something as simple as taking a shower is not possible for him right now. He needs nurses to help him at the moment.

And then I began thinking about how God sees everything we do. The Bible says that nothing is hidden from his eyes and that even the greatest darkness is as light to Him. And this made me wonder how can such an amazing, beautiful, perfect God put up with us?

I mean even the prettiest human beings have ugliness. We all need to use a bathroom. We all need to shower. We all get sick. We all get old. We all die. And none of these things are pretty to watch.

All this brings me back to my main thought in this post.

I heard a speaker on the radio the other day say that God is not offended by our humanity. It doesn't matter to Him that our bodies fail us. It doesn't matter that we can't be pretty and clean and healthy and strong all the time. God remembers that we are just dust.

And suddenly I felt as if God had been speaking directly to me during that broadcast. I needed to hear it. I can never stop being human and I can't avoid the ugliness or messiness of life. And I should never feel ashamed of the way God made me. Although I know that's easier said than done for many of us. I mean who doesn't have something about themselves they wish they could change!

But just as a caterpillar must first enter its chrysalis and spend time inside struggling, so we must live our lives right now as human beings. We must struggle in order to emerge victoriously transformed. And God promises to give us new bodies when the time comes.

Imagine! No more sickness, no more pain, no more disappointments. But even better... no more messiness.

It simply blows my mind. God is so amazing! Our ugliness doesn't turn Him away! God even became a man, was born (definitely a messy event), and lived like us and then died a humiliating death on a cross!

Why?

Because He loves you. Because He loves me. Because He sees us as worth it. He sees what we will become... what we were meant to be.

Life is messy but God knows that and promises to wade through the mess with us and help us emerge brilliantly, gloriously clean. What an awesome God!

2011-12-04T16:06:00.001-08:00

Thank you. Two very simple words that have a very big meaning. They represent an attitude of gratefulness and showcase humbleness.

Someone I respect and admire said those words to me the other day and it caught me off guard. It was then that I realized it isn't common to have those words spoken to me, you, or anyone these days. In fact, the whole idea of being grateful for anything seems to be a dying art.

How is that possible when we live in a day and age where our generation experiences so many benefits from the hard work of previous centuries?

It is, however, very common to hear people complaining about everything and anything. And it seems age has no meaning in this new era of discontent. Even the very young have already caught on.

It seems that everywhere I look we are encouraged to be ungrateful and to be vocal about it. Everything from TV commercials that remind us of what we don't have and try to make us want it, to people who have work but don't like it simply because it isn't what they wanted.

I'm not saying that life can't be difficult. It can be. I know. I've been struggling these past few weeks with carpel tunnel syndrome in both of my hands and I'm a musician who has lots of performances right now. Believe me when I say I could be very ungrateful right now. But I'm not. Instead I choose to focus on what I do have and how good I have it living in the US.

It is human nature to complain and feel entitled. It runs rampant in societies all over the world. But that doesn't make it right. I wonder if I can be a better model of gratefulness, would it encourage others to do the same? Would my attitude of thankfulness become contagious?

All I know is that when someone says Thank You to me I feel wonderful even if my whole day up to that point was not.

When was the last time you told someone Thank You?

When was the last time you told God Thank You?

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

2011-11-14T07:49:00.001-08:00

O soul, are you weary and troubled?

No light in the darkness you see?

There’s light for a look at the Savior,

And life more abundant and free!
- Refrain:
  
  Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
  
  Look full in His wonderful face,
  
  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
  
  In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting

He passed, and we follow Him there;

O’er us sin no more hath dominion—

For more than conqu’rors we are!
His Word shall not fail you—He promised;

Believe Him, and all will be well:

Then go to a world that is dying,

His perfect salvation to tell!

Amen.

What If

2011-10-30T16:21:00.000-07:00

What if I found ways to help everyone around me? I was struck today with an overwhelming urge to do something to help my neighbors and my community. I always feel this more strongly when I'm not feeling my best. I think it's a strong reflection of how discontent I am to just rest and not do much of anything. Definitely not a strength of mine.

My injuries from the car accident earlier this week are healing. And I have God to thank for that as well as a lot of friends and family who have been praying for me. I have been unable to wash dishes or do many of my normal chores for the better part of a week. It's been driving me crazy. I like getting things done at the end of the day, you know? Anyhow, today I'm feeling much better and more like myself so I know I'll be getting back to daily chores this week. In the meantime I've had lots of time to think about stuff.

And today I've been trying to think of ways I can help my neighbors and my community. And at first I thought it would be an easy task. I mean who doesn't need help with... something, right? But then I realized that I can't just go up to people's houses and ask them what they need help with. I mean I wish I could but folks just aren't very trusting these days. And in my neighborhood people tend to avoid their neighbors more than anything else.

I just have a deep yearning to reach out to the families who live all around me and see if there is anything I can do to encourage them or help them. I really have no idea how to do this. I don't want to make people uncomfortable or bother them. But perhaps these are some of the same reasons my neighbors haven't related to me much either. Hmm.

I've also been trying to think of ways to do something to encourage local police and fire departments. They really do a lot for everyone with very little thanks in return. I mean I know its their job but still. Especially the cops. They have to deal the most with bad attitudes and equally bad situations. So I imagine having community members do something as simple as letting them know they are appreciated and respected could really be a boost of encouragement for them.

I'll be bringing these desires to Bible Study this week and asking fellow Christians to pray with me about this too.

Only God knows how each of our lives will impact others. But when we spend time thinking of ways to help people I know God blesses those thoughts and plans. So how about you? Who can you help this coming week or month? What can you do to get the ball rolling even if you yourself can't do all the work?

Refined By Fire

2011-10-27T20:23:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I was involved in a multi-vehicle accident, by God's grace not because of any fault of my own. And thankfully no one was seriously injured. We were all very polite and even respectful towards each other! I have no doubt God was there to keep emotions in check.

But having been a victim of vehicle accidents in the past I knew that the days immediately following the accident would be difficult. All of us experienced whip lash and the driver who started the accident was having chest pains. She's 83. An ambulance was called to the scene.

For me I was frustrated because the accident made me an hour and half late for work. We were not allowed to return to our vehicles because the lady who hit me didn't have a driver's license and kept wanting to drive away. So none of us could retrieve our cell phones which we had all left in our vehicles.

I attempted to befriend her and encouraged her to wait. That was when I learned that she couldn't speak or understand English very well. So I ended up translating for her to everyone until her husband arrived on the scene.

In the end things could have been a lot worse and when I was finally allowed to go on my way, for my vehicle didn't sustain any damage, I started thanking God for His protection.

Two days later I'm still feeling dizzy, fatigued, and a little achy. My arms cannot handle long practice sessions right now and I'm praying that healing continues quickly because I have several performances coming up at work. At least with the piano I don't have to lift the instrument the entire time I'm playing. But with the violin its different. And a 3-hour, possibly longer, orchestra rehearsal is coming up Monday evening.

But I know that God allows us to go through trials for a good reason. Like a diamond that needs to be polished and smoothed God sometimes allows us to go through tough times to make us what we were meant to be... shining examples of His strength and love.

And even if this accident had not ended well for me I would still believe that God is good.

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

~ Philippians 4:13

Autumn Leaves

2011-10-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

Driving to and from work I have been enjoying the beautiful colors of the leaves. All the trees are changing and the views are just breathtaking. And I'm always hit with a strong sense of nostalgia during this time of year. In a way I suppose I'm reminded of how all things in this world must come to an end. But even the end can be so beautiful.

I'm simply awed by the beauty God surrounds us with at every season. How amazing and beyond any imagination is the Lord. Everything He creates is just stunning.

And since I am in an Autumn mood I thought I would share a few videos of the song, Autumn Leaves.

Each performance presents a unique interpretation of this beloved song. So in without further ado, and in order of their appearance, I present: Doris Day, Nat King Cole, and Eva Cassidy.

After listening to these talented artists is their one I haven't presented that you absolutely love? Share your favorite artist performing this song on your blog and I'll be sure to take a listen. God bless.

Music Lessons or Life Lessons: Should students quit when they feel challenged?

2011-10-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

So the other day I received a message from a mother of a student that I teach. She was sharing how her son doesn't practice his piano unless she pushes him and that she felt it was better to stop piano lessons. Now as a music teacher I have a few things to say about lessons ending before the end of a month. It is nearly the end of October and I feel the student could at least go to the end.

And it made me sad to hear that there has apparently been so much frustration at home about practicing. I have been teaching for many years and rarely have students or parents just quit. Of course each circumstance is unique but the boy has shown aptitude for music and completed nearly a full year of lessons.

At the beginning he couldn't play anything and now he is learning to perform pieces that sound like something. Another issue that bothered me was that I had asked the student multiple times if he understood everything and if he was enjoying lessons. He always said yes. I always write down assignments and send them home with him. I even hunted for music that would be fun so he wouldn't be bored.

But students could have excellent teachers and still not progress if they are not encouraged at home. The other side of the coin are parents who don't push their kids to continue even when at times they may be frustrated. And this last thought is what I'm trying to get at.

I have been seeing more and more students leading their parents by the nose. The children get whatever they want even if it isn't the best for them. And its not just in music. Its almost as if children these days feel entitled to do or have whatever they want when they want it. And if they can't then they feel entitled to not give any effort and/or give up.

What kind of lesson does that teach the kids? That if you complain enough, act up enough, or just be plain naughty they can get what they want every time. And worse, if parents don't want or don't care to be the parents in their children's lives how are kids going to learn to respect authority? Or heck, we can just take authority out of it all together and wonder whether-or-not kids even know how to show respect these days.

In the case of my student I really can't do anything to change the decision the parents have already made. I can only hope that he doesn't come to regret the choice to give up as so many of my adult students tell me they feel. And there are many of them.

In my opinion music lessons are a healthy way for kids to express strong emotions and can even provide them with side income in the future should they excel well enough at playing any instrument. Music lessons also encourage students to learn how to use their time wisely and helps them learn how to work towards goals, such as a recital or a gig.

Its okay if most students have no intention of going into a career in music. I'm not suggesting that all students must become virtuosos. But I do strongly believe that students shouldn't quit when they feel challenged. It has been my experience in all areas of life that when things get difficult it is always just before a break through. If I had quit every time I felt stressed or frustrated I would have nothing right now. But I guess that is a lesson this student and his parents will have to learn the hard way.

Living With Grandmother

2011-10-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

The other day my mother and I decided to go out and get our hair cut and styled. We left home knowing that my brother would be staying with grandmother so that she would not be by herself. When my mother and I returned we found grandmother washing dishes.

Now, grandmother knows that she is no longer suppose to wash dishes. This is partly because she can no longer see well and thus doesn't do a very good job cleaning anything anymore. But also because she has done her "time" in the kitchen all her life. And at 91 years of age we don't allow or want her doing any house chores. We just want her to enjoy her life, for however long God chooses to give her.

But see grandmother doesn't like it when my mother and I go away together, which isn't very often, and leave her at home. Mom and I need time together once-in-a-while too. And grandmother has a thing about seeing any dirty dishes in the sink. Its really hard for her to just let them be until one of us has time to get to them. That normally is my job to complete in the evenings when I return home from work.

All this to say that when I saw grandmother standing at the kitchen sink, caught in the act of trying to wash dishes when we were out, I felt frustrated, sad, and yet amused. I wish grandmother could let responsibilities that belong to the rest of us be completed by the rest of us and at the same time I'm happy that she still has spunk.

I mean my goodness! 91 and still wanting to wash dishes! I know she meant well. She always does but her washing isn't very good and that means that I have to put all the dishes back in the sink and wash them again. *sigh*

So mother and I gently told her that she should let me wash the dishes and that its okay if there are dirty dishes in the sink sometimes. And I had to pray and ask God to give me patience and understanding because I didn't want to come across harshly.

But life at home is seldom dull. With four dogs, three cats, and four adults with an elderly lady all living under the same roof... life gets interesting. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Friends and Strangers

2011-10-08T21:26:00.000-07:00

I think that life is beautiful the way God meant it to be. I was thinking today about all the people who have had an impact on my life. I remembered my childhood friends and happy times spent with cousins. I remembered friends I made in my years of university studies and the new friends I've made even this year.
Family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers have all had a part in shaping who I am. People come in and out of our lives for a reason. I'm convinced of this.
And it hurts to go through the times of separation and/ or loss. But once the pain is accepted I can see that it has made me stronger. My pain, if given to God, can make me wiser. And ultimately, I become a source of comfort to those who haven't yet walked down the same path.
" A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better for a triple braided cord is not easily broken." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:12
People look for role models, someone they can emulate so that one day they can give comfort to others too. Life can be a beautiful thing even when it hurts. And God is the one person who is with us through it all... the good years, the bad years, and the ones that haven't arrived yet. I'm learning to put all my hope in Him and it isn't easy. But it is definitely worth the effort.
" And indeed everything that was written long ago in the scriptures was meant to teach us something about hope; from the examples scripture gives about how people who did not give up were helped by God." ~ Romans 15:4

Snow White, Desire, and Being Single

2011-10-06T15:55:00.000-07:00

Today I was dusting around the house and I paused when I came to a porcelain figurine of Snow White. In her delicate little hands she holds an apple and she stares at it longingly. It is the moment before she eats the poisoned apple. And I was hit with a realization. This is exactly what its like to be me right now.

I work in an environment where I am surrounded by women my age or younger who are married and are either pregnant or are raising young children. As a single woman it can be very difficult sometimes to see their gorgeous babies and listen to them talk about their adoring husbands when I have neither.

Sometimes I wonder if I did something wrong to have never captured the attention of an eligible young man. I used to think it would happen during my years in university. Actually, I'm still in university just not as a student. But my prince never came and I had to move on.

And for many years I thought I was the only young lady around who was in the awkward situation I found myself in. But I was wrong. In the past year I have met several young women just like me. We have all remained faithful to God and have had to continue with our careers. And just like me, they too have friends and family all around them getting married or having children and wondering why we don't "just get married" too.

The truth is that ladies like me don't have an answer for all the questions. We simply don't know why we are still single. And to believe that we somehow did something wrong to wreck our lives gives us too much credit. Ultimately, God is in control even when we don't understand why life goes the way it does. And I know that God is more powerful than our greatest failures, so that argument doesn't work.

If remaining single is the plan God has for my life then I must learn to accept it and help as many people as I possibly can. I should be exhausted by the end of each day, not from raising children, but from doing good works. I should be using every conversation to encourage and uplift those around me and never allow a bitter word or frustrated sigh past my lips.

And I should see all the good and beautiful things God has given me rather than the things I don't have. But sometimes, just like Snow White, I look at the poisoned apple and wonder if life wouldn't be better if I just took one bite.

But I know where that bite landed Snow White and where the bite Eve took in the garden landed all of us. Satan hits below the belt. When I'm weak that's when I need God more. So I keep trusting him even when its so difficult to do some days. I know He sees my tears and hears my prayers and He's been showing me that I'm not the only one.

God hasn't forgotten me and He isn't punishing me. Maybe He just wants me all for Himself. I'm learning to let him take the poisoned apple away. May His will be done in my life regardless of what anyone wonders about me or even what I wonder about my life.

A Leaf, a Dragon, and a Mantis,

2011-09-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

At home we normally get the usual visitors. You know, the human kind. Sometimes though we also get the neighborhood feline kind too. And often we will be visited by the friendly squirrels who are too smart to hang around for long with cats roaming the yard.

But in the past month we have also been visited by some unusual visitors. It all started one day when I was just minding my own business walking into my living room and glanced at the large bay window. And there it was. Just clinging to the white curtains, staring back. A green leaf bug. To this day I still don't know how it got indoors or what happened to it after that day. I could never find it again.

I did take a photo though.

I never saw one in real life before and I never saw one up close. It is said in some countries that if a Green Leaf bug enters your home it is a sign of good luck. More specifically, that money will come your way soon. Hmmm. I could always find something good to do with more money. :)

A few days later my father and I were changing the back lights on my car when he stopped and told me to look at something on the hood. When I walked to the front I saw a Dragon Fly.

The poor thing had been caught in the grill of the car and my dad had plucked it out. It didn't survive the impact of meeting the grill on the road but it was still so beautiful to look at. We were very impressed by how delicate the wings are. So my dad gently placed it in a plastic bag and has it sitting on display in the living room. The detail of its body and its eyes are amazing! My camera isn't the best so I can't show you how amazing this bug really is.

Then, just the other night, we had a good storm. Lots of rain. And when my family and I returned from eating dinner we were greeted back home by this lovely lady. A Praying Mantis. She was, quite literally, hanging out on my car. When I looked more closely at her I could see she actually had a water droplet in her mouth. My theory is that she was drinking the water droplets on my car.

She certainly wasn't shy and didn't seem to mind my father and I snapping pictures of her. And after we spent some time enjoying her beauty we went inside. I thought that was the last time I would see her. But I was wrong.

The next day I stepped outside and found her hanging on the screen of our front door. She looked like she wanted to come inside. Then I looked down and saw one of the neighborhood cats that adopted us, another story all together, staring up at her.

So I knew I had to intervene. I gently nudged her onto an envelope and deposited her onto a bush far from the door. Kitty would not get to make a snack out of her. In fact, I doubt the cat would even eat her. He probably just wanted to play but he would have been too rough and killed her.

Perhaps she was praying someone would save her. In any case, I'm glad I was able to help and I wonder what other fascinating visitors will drop by.

" He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle's!"

Psalm 103:5

When We Lose Our Way

2011-09-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

I participate in a few Bible studies throughout the year and a group I am currently in had a distressing experience recently. A young woman amongst us shared that she is contemplating suicide. She went ahead to explain that she has already made plans for her body in the event of her death and has been giving and selling away most of her possessions.

There are several other details that she shared but most distressing is that she had experienced nervous breakdowns in the past and had even spent time in a psychiatric institution because she attempted suicide in the past. She is a troubled soul.

When speaking to her a bit more we learned that she believes God wants her dead. That is a lie from the pit of hell and we shared scripture with her and prayed with her. But more than that I went ahead and prodded a bit, wanting to understand why she believes God wants her dead. She explained that she believes God is a vengeful and wrathful God. She believes that he punishes sin. And I agreed with her that, yes, he does not want his children to sin. But I also felt compelled to clarify to her that as Christians who believe that Jesus Christ has died for our sins, we are no longer under the old law.

She didn't understand what I meant. So I explained that when Jesus Christ died on the cross it not only allowed anyone to freely be saved from God's wrath but it also cancelled out the way God use to relate to humans. It is no longer necessary to make sacrifices on alters. It is no longer necessary to confess sins to priests. It is no longer necessary to keep countless rules and regulations on food, dress, or other details.

God established a new law. Much more simple. Believe that Jesus Christ died for you sins on the cross and allow him into your heart. Period. That's it. No rules. No regulations. Just faith.

She seemed to think on these truths for a while. Today she is on my mind. I don't know if anything any of us said has reached her. I pray it has. But beyond praying and speaking to her about the Bible we have also been searching for counselors and mentors who are experienced in helping individuals with the level of depression she is experiencing.

I also believe this is spiritual warfare and all of us are feeling a bit burned out. Its very taxing on the emotions and the mind when someone you care about loses the will to live. So I'm sending a request to all of you readers to please pray for Emily. I believe in prayer and I know it can move mountains. We need a miracle. Emily desperately needs a miracle.

May God's will be done.

" By day the Lord directs his love, by night his song is with me-

a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my rock, 'Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I go around mourning, oppressed by the enemy?'

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,

my savior and my God."

Psalm 42: 8, 9, 11

Mixtas!

2011-09-14T11:56:00.000-07:00

I live in the United States but inside my home the culture is Guatemalan. And one of my greatest joys is making and eating Guatemalan food such as my childhood favorite: mixtas! What are mixtas?

They are similar to the American hotdog in a hotdog bun. Mixtas at their very basic form are hotdogs in home-made tortillas with guacamole, and onion. But you can put a whole host of goodies on top too!

For this post I decided to share how I make mixtas.

For the tortillas you will need:

Goya Masarica Instant Corn Masa Flour

Goya White (or yellow) Corn Meal Masarepa

Water

For the Guacamole you will need:

three to four ripe Avocados

one Onion

Salt

Lime Juice

Everything Else:

One pack of Hotdogs

Sauerkraut (optional)

Mustard (optional)

Step 1. Make the tortillas.

To do this you will need a mixing bowl and a wooden spoon or other mixing utensil. The following is for about four to five hungry, hungry people. :)

> Pour in about one and half cups of Masarepa.

> Next pour in about four cups of Masarica.

> Finally add three cups of water.

> Mix.

Now you will have to decide for yourself exactly how much flour and water to use because if you have a large group to feed you might need more. And if you have a smaller group to feed you will need less than what I suggest.

> Continue to stir and add more water or flour as needed until you have a soft, malleable dough to work with.

Now comes the fun part.

> Scoop up enough mixture to create a medium sized ball between your hands.

> Once the ball is formed you then begin to flatten it between your hands in a flip-flop motion.

If you really don't think you can make tortillas this way simply grab some plastic wrap.

> Lay it on a flat surface.

> Lay the ball of dough down on top.

> Fold the remaining plastic wrap over the ball.

> Using the bottom of a cereal or soup bowl, press down until the ball is the desired flatness.

> Next you place the flattened dough onto a heated frying pan.

> Flip the tortilla over only when you begin to see the color become darker. It is even better if you see a few dark spots on the face-down side.

> Once the tortilla is done it is ready to be placed in a basket covered with a towel or set on a plate to serve.

Step 2. The guacamole is fast and easy. Do be careful to wear an apron or clothes you don't mind messing up. Avocados stain permanently.

> Cut the Avocados in half, from the tip where the stem would be to the other end and back around.

> Scoop out all the yummy green, discard the large seed.

> Place the Avocado parts into a bowl.

> Start mashing.

> Add salt and mix.

> Add Lime juice and mix.

Step 3. Everything else is very easy.

> Cook the hotdogs.

You are ready to eat!

> Take a tortilla and smear a generous amount of Guacamole.

> Put some sauerkraut on top.

> Take a hotdog, and if you want you can slice it in half lengthwise, and place it on top.

> Add Mustard.

> Fold the tortilla in half.

> Eat and enjoy!

Remembering 911

2011-09-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

Today I and so many in the Unites States focus on the horrific events of September 11, 2001. So many people remember where they were on that fateful day. What happened was so tragic and so evil that words are not enough to describe the horror and the pain so many experienced.

The twin towers in New York City are the most recognized photos of that day. But the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania were also scarred by the evil intent of terrorism. There were so many brave and heroic acts... so many selfless heroes. And so many lives lost.

The truth is that no one could have even imagined something like this could happen. I mean... who plans horrors like that? And for what purpose? It was a loss of innocents and security for so many in the Unites States. And still today many feel that same pain.

I remember that on that day and the weeks that followed everyone was asking the deep questions. Suddenly it was okay to speak the name of God in public. Even the media and Hollywood were speaking about God and life and death seriously. But ten years later it seems that people are forgetting. It is no longer acceptable for people to talk about God in public settings. No prayers were allowed at the memorial today.

It is just a symptom of a greater need in the US. It is forgetting God and replacing Him with other things. Today I grieve for my country. But I know that despite all the suffering and all the evil in this world that has been and is yet to come that God is victorious. His love and grace will have the final word and one day this world will know true peace.

Following is a live recording of a man called Sujo John. He was in the first tower on 9/11 and shares his amazing experience. Please listen and be encouraged. For even in the darkest hour of our lives God is there.

" O the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgements and how inscrutable his ways!

For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?

Or who has given a gift to him, to receive a gift in return?

For from him and through him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen."

Romans 11: 33-36

Falling Rain

2011-09-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

The sound of falling rain. There is nothing like it. It soothes and cleanses and many times forces busy people to slow down. It creates a mood of reflection and rest.

But if the rain falls too hard for too long it can become danger and nemesis to well being. Such is the case in my city for the past several days.

Our normal way of life was first disrupted about one week ago when we experienced a 3.5 earthquake. It was quite the experience for us on the East coast because we so seldom get any earthquakes here. Then Hurricane Irene hit us with heavy rain and strong winds that knocked down electrical wires and trees. And now we are being hit by Hurricane Lee. Thankfully we are not experiencing any winds but the ground is so saturated with rain that many places are flooding. The rain is coming down in torrents.

Outside my house all the streets became rivers and all the neighbors came out to watch the rising waters. It was unreal. But no matter what happens I know God is in control.

Someone commented to me that she was just waiting for the locust to arrive. I don't think that God is cursing us with natural disasters. God doesn't judge nations today the way He did in the Old Testament. He judges us individually and watches how we choose to live our lives.

But the comment made me think about the disintegration of all the nations world-wide. Things are not getting better they are getting worse. But this has already been described in Revelations. The closer we get to Jesus returning, the more troubling events we will see.

More than flood waters, earthquakes, and tornadoes I am concerned with the moral and spiritual state of my country. Things are bad. People go to church but few truly live lives that reflect God's love. Many youth prefer to live together than get married and those who do get married divorce in about three years.

Parents give their children too much freedom and don't take enough time to interact with them. Criminals are given light sentences for rape and murder and judges and police are corrupt themselves.

No God doesn't curse nations as He use to do so long ago. But if the collective people of a nation continue to turn their hearts away from Him how can they expect His blessings? Abortion, homosexuality, blatant promiscuity, lying, killing, and deception are becoming the normal way of life. And if anyone has the audacity to speak out against these things they are ostracized and become the focus of scorn.

The media, whether on television, radio, or internet seems to most people the only sources for truth. And consequently they believe lies and deception and don't turn to the Bible or the God that granted them life. So its really no surprise that nations today are falling apart at the seams. The crumbling economies are only a symptom of the real sickness in people's hearts. Their greed and lack of discipline stems from a desire to be their own God and live their lives as they see fit.

Its not working and future generations are going to suffer greatly. These are difficult times indeed.

And as I look out my window to watch the rising waters in my neighborhood streets I wonder at the incredible grace and patience God displays. We are seeing the warning signs but how many will be wise enough to act before its too late? Will we who know God reach out to others and show them the love and freedom Jesus Christ provides? We can't change anyone's mind but we can point them to the true source of comfort and peace. In the storms of life we need an anchor, a safe haven and I have found it in Jesus Christ. May He grant me continued courage and grace to keep sharing his call for rescue in this drowning world.

" When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you." Isaiah 43:2

Cupcakes Make Everything Better

2011-08-30T12:59:00.000-07:00

The day we had terrible winds because of Hurricane Irene, I needed to do something that would make me happy. I was feeling sad because their wasn't much I could do to help anyone who was in harms way... except pray. Not that there isn't power in prayer but sometimes we just feel like we need to do something, you know?

So I decided to make cupcakes. And the best part is decorating them! And as I spent my afternoon and evening doing this delicious labor the thought occurred to me that I could make some to take with me when I visit friends and family who were in the hurricane. It would put a smile on their faces too I'm sure!

How about you? Do cupcakes make you smile? Even though my cupcakes are decorated in pink and white icing my brother and father didn't mind. They said they tasted wonderful! Ahhh. Mission accomplished. :)

Anyone want a cupcake?

" Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast, and my mouth praises you with joyful lips."

Psalm 63: 3 + 5

In The Eye Of The Storm

2011-08-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there are things that happen in life simply because we live in a broken world. Everything suffers, including nature. Recently everyone who lives in the North East of the United States is experiencing concern over Hurricane Irene. Already reports are coming in of a few casualties and serious flooding.

It is the flooding and high winds that make being anywhere near a hurricane so dangerous. Just like in a tornado anything that doesn't have deep roots, or isn't anchored down becomes a projectile capable of creating terrible damage.

Currently I'm praying for several friends and relatives who live in the path of this storm. I've been in touch with them off and on over the past few days but all storms are a bit unpredictable so there is some concern. And winds have been very strong where I live too. In my town we are hoping for the best in that the many trees in our area don't blow over during this storm.

My heart goes out to those who have already lost their homes, property, and/or loved ones. I know there will be more loss to come in the next forty-eight hours. So please pray for everyone on the North East of the United States.

All this nasty weather also reminds me of God's power. He can be as powerful as a mighty wind, such as he was to Elijah. God can also sooth and calm the storms in our hearts and minds just as the psalmist, king David, stated in Psalms. At the same time it is wise to be reminded of our own frailty. God says in his word that we are nothing but a breath, a vapor that is here one moment and then gone the next.

As I ponder over the loss of material possessions many families and businesses are going through right now, I think again about all the blessings God has given me. And not just me but anyone who has more than they need to survive. We are all incredibly blessed! And how abundantly! So many of us have health and loved ones to share life with. That makes us incredibly rich!

I can live without the "stuff." I wouldn't think twice about choosing to save someone I love over something I own. And as I think on these things I realize that I, and everyone left untouched by this storm, have a responsibility to aid those who lose so much. I'm already trying to brain storm how I can help. And as long as God provides me with strength and life I want to help as many people as I can. Financially, through my time, through my words... I want to live a life that reflects Christ's love.

May God bless you and may God protect and aid those who are suffering at this moment. May He find Christians who are willing and ready to live for Christ and be the tools He uses to bring comfort and healing to those who need it.

" When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ' Silence! Be still!' Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. Then he asked them, ' Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?'"

Mark 4: 39 + 40

His Love

2011-08-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures

forever,

O give thanks to the God of

gods,