Just my thoughts..

Someone shut it up!

2012-01-15T04:36:00.000+05:30

We have all had the feeling of emptiness in our lives. That little voice in our head that looks at our daily life and says, 'this is not right; this is not how I want my life to be'. This is probably why we try to keep ourselves busy, and distracted, so that we don't have to listen to that voice. Well, I ran out of distractions this weekend. And you know what, the voice is killing me.

I don't hate my life, no, that's not it. I like my life; I like the comfort, the secure feeling, good friends, sweet family, normal and simple life. But lets be honest, comfortable life tends to get monotonous and boring. There is no adventure, there is no feeling of uncertainty which means there is no surprise. It doesn't mean that I want to quit my job and go do something exciting and different. I'm not that desperate, no. It just means that I want to spend my spare time doing something challenging that I'm passionate about.

A simple example would be my gaming team or my website. When we started playing as a team, we knew that we weren't going to become paid professional players. But we wanted to try anyway; we wanted to give it a shot and see how far we can reach. When we started our website, we knew that we might not be able to turn it into a profitable endeavor. But we were passionate about it and we wanted to do it. Both adventures failed, true, but I don't regret either of them. If I could, I would repeat them all over again. The fun is always in facing impossible odds, in fighting a battle worth losing.

Sadly, I don't have any battles to fight anymore and also running out of distractions pretty fast. I did search for my next fix (or addiction) and I kinda found it too. I'm in love with coding and I wish I could start a little project, a website or application that I can put all my spare time into. 'Well then, why don't I', you ask.

When I started gaming, I had no training but lots of friends to join me in the battle. When I started the website, I had some training but only a couple of friends to join me in the fight. Now that I want to start a project, I have a good amount of training but no friend with similar passion. You see, without a person to join you in the battle, its simply not worth fighting.

Whenever I spent sleepless nights on something, trying to figure something out, it was because the next day I could solve it and show it to the person who wants it as much as I do. The feeling that someone else wants it and that we are in this together, matters more than everything else. That is always the biggest motivation. Without this motivation, we are bound to give up.

Oh well! I'm probably better off searching for more distractions. Ordered a book online "Ender's Game". Hopefully, it'll shut that voice in my head or at least, make me deaf for a while!

Contagion - The Real Test of Humanity?

2011-12-27T02:34:00.001+05:30

Watched the movie 'Contagion'. Even if you haven't seen the movie, you would've probably guessed that its about a contagious disease, an epidemic to be more exact. We have seen movies like this before, '28 Days Later', 'Resident Evil' etc. But this movie, is much more realistic. Its not an action packed adventure like Resident Evil or a thrilling apocalypse like 28 Days Later. This is more of a drama that tries to portray how people in general react to this danger and what actions individuals take.

It reminded me of something Joker said in 'The Dark Knight', "their morals, their code...it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. When the chips are down, these civilized people, they'll eat each other." That sounds a little extreme but its not too far from the truth. When our life is at stake or even in an increased level of risk, we drop our ethics. Worse than that, we start to doubt our fellow men. Our fears move us to survival mode and we start suspecting everyone and everything.

Its easy to be law abiding and decent when its all good. We think that we are the good guys just because we give lift to someone on our way to work. We think we are civilized just because we gave some money to charity last year or because we paid taxes this year. But how ethical will our actions be when we are put in tough situations? What if, one day our financial system completely collapses and we enter an age with no rules, no order? Will we still be kind and gentle in a chaotic world?

There is no single answer to that question. Some people will still do their best to be humane and be helpful. Some, will just switch to survival mode and act as if its 'every man for himself'. We get a sense of this, in the movie. We see how some people get scared and turn violent while a few risk more than we ever would to help others. Those selfless acts are the reason we humans even have a civilization today. And those individuals who went into survival mode, they are probably today's terrorists and extremists.

So, what will you be, when the chips are down?!!

The Dark Knight truly Rises

2011-12-21T00:34:00.001+05:30

Finally, the trailer for the movie The Dark Knight Rises is here. Lets get straight into it

I still remember what made me go crazy about The Dark Knight. It was Joker's laugh at the end of the trailer for TDK. It was epic, just perfect! This trailer for TDKR reminds of that feeling.

For me, the best part of this one is definitely the music. The trailer starts with the soft and humble voice of a kid. Then the music disappears into the background with a tinge of suspense in it. In typical Hans Zimmer style, it keeps raising slowly, with the kid's voice still in the background. Then, the chanting starts and it gets aggressive. Finally, it comes alive at the 1 minute 45 second mark, by which time, I can't stop myself from jumping from my seat & shouting it out loud! At the end, we hear the music from the climax of TDK which has probably become synonymous with the Batman logo.

The only thing that I'm not very comfortable with is the clarity of the voice. Even though Joker's voice was weird, it was still crystal clear. Oh well! Considering that I'm going to see this movie repeatedly, I guess I needn't care. I went to imdb to find out what was being said in the trailer and I happened to glance at the Trivia section where I saw this.

Eva Green, Angelina Jolie Blake Lively, Rhona Mitra, Charlize Theron, Abbie Cornish, Vera Farmiga, Jessica Biel, Natalie Portman, Gemma Arterton, Kate Mara, Charlotte Riley, Emily Blunt and Keira Knightley all auditioned for the role of Selina Kyle. After the initial audition process, Biel and Mara all screen tested. Ultimately, Anne Hathaway won the role.

That is a huge list of cast being auditioned for one role and not to mention that most of them are top actresses. This shows us the level of sincerity with which the director is approaching the character instead of just casting some big name. The same goes for most of the characters in the movie with names like Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet being considered. Yes, I know, the film studio and the movie's casting directors were probably the main force behind this, but the fact that so many talented actors were auditioning for roles that weren't number one, simply adds credibility to the director's abilities.

I just can't wait to watch this movie in the theater! I'll probably go to the theater every weekend simply to catch this trailer.. :P

Rant of the Day!

2011-12-14T01:00:00.000+05:30

I'm warning you straight away that this post is a rant. So, if you are in a good mood, stop reading right now so that I don't spoil it. For those who are still reading, well, lets continue.. I'm sure you've faced this situation too => you are in a good mood and looking forward to the rest of your day but suddenly someone does something that just puts you off. All of a sudden you just wish that the day comes to an end soon so that you can begin afresh tomorrow. Well, that's exactly how I felt and to get over it, I decided to write this post.

I strongly believe that feelings spread; from one person to another, from one person to an entire group; its just contagious. Say for example, there are three of you sitting together but minding your own business. A fourth guy comes along and is in a grumpy mood. Now, if you three were already in a fun mood, then, his grumpiness won't affect the other three too much. On the contrary, he/she might get cheered up thanks to you guys. But if the mood is already mundane or just normal, then the grumpiness starts spreading. This is why I always try to hide my bad mood when in company of others. But some people, just don't give a damn..

Some people just complain for everything. This is like this, that's like that, oh why me, why is everyone like this, bla bla.. But most of all, I get really annoyed when people complain about helping someone. I don't care if you help others or not, but don't complain about it if you do. If you don't wanna help, just tell them so & leave it at that. Its pointless to decide to help someone and then complain about it.

I ain't Mahatma Gandhi; I'm just a selfish little human being like most people. But even my tiny brain/conscience understands that we help others to feel good. When we help others, we get a sense of satisfaction, a good feeling and at the same time, we have improved someone else's life. But if you are going to complain about it, then you aren't going to feel good. And to make it worse, you'll probably spoil the mood of someone else who happens to hear you complain. And to make it even worse, the next time you have an argument with the person you helped, this feeling will come to your mind and you will get even more angry.

This just seems counter-intuitive to me. My point is simple, don't force yourself to do something and then complain about it. Of course, we all do things that we don't really want to, like for example, go to work. But there is a difference between accepting our decision and complaining about it. Learn to accept it; if you can't, then don't do it.

P.S. To my friends, this is not directed against any of you; the person I'm ranting about will never, ever, read my blog.. :D Ah!! It feels good to let it all out!

Road Trip to Hogenakkal!

2011-11-21T00:49:00.000+05:30

A good road trip had been long pending & so, when my colleague Arun suggested a weekend trip to Hogenakkal, I immediately agreed to join him. Sadly, no one else did and so, it was just me, him & two avengers (yes, he has an avenger too xD). I had office till 3.30pm on Saturday and so, started straight from work to Hogenakkal. Our plans were a little fuzzy but our aim was simple, 'road trip'. So, we took to the street and headed towards our destination.

It took us an hour just to escape the city & the sun was setting fast. So, we rode for nearly 140 kms before taking our first break. By now, it was clear that we were going to be pretty late because Hogenakkal is around 340 kms. from Chennai. Our other option was to stay at Dharmapuri for the night & continue the trip in the morning. But after riding another 100 kms. in the dark, we felt that it wasn't so bad and that we could make it the whole way.

We burst through the highways till Dharmapuri where we had our dinner & then slowed down. The road was now tricky with no light and no traffic. We reached a pay check-post around 10.30pm and the next 15 minutes were the best ride of my life. The curved hill roads & sudden hair-pin bends at pitch black darkness with absolutely no distraction was a dream to ride through. Riding Nirvana!

We found a room and settled in around 11.30. Didn't feel tired, didn't have back pain though I can't say the same for my butt. Had a nice chat till 2 and woke up around 10. Hogenakkal wasn't much of a hill and so, no bike rides over there. Visited the waterfall, had a nice ride in those hand-made rafts. The waterfall wasn't spectacular but the route they take you on those rafts is amazing. I have never experienced anything like that before.

We started again around 2.30pm and had a nice ride through those curved roads again. We came across a pretty good hotel near the Krishnagiri bus stand. After that, we hit the highways once again. Compared to our city traffic, the drivers on the highways are pretty disciplined. They use their indicators while changing lanes, they wait for a passing vehicle instead of just jumping out & blocking you and most slow vehicles stick to the left lane as the right lane is meant for overtaking. In such an organized highway, riding in the dark is not so hard.

Reached home around 9.30.. Covered 680 kilometers in 30 hours with a good night's sleep and also managed to visit a new location. Now THAT is a weekend worth its hours! Thank you Arun!

The movie that you wouldn't wanna miss!

2011-07-22T03:43:00.001+05:30

Some movies are a good timepass; some are just not worth watching; some movies are so thrilling that they make you forget where you are but only a few movies keep you grounded in reality while stealing your heart away. Bala is particularly good at creating such movies but his movies are always tainted with sadness. I remember reading in my school text book that songs that express sadness will always be the most melodious ones. That's the rule that Bala follows..

Deiva Thirumagal doesn't really follow Bala's footsteps. Yet, it somehow captures the magic that only Bala and a few other directors have brought on screen. It even goes one step further by not framing anyone as good or bad. The old days of Ajith, Vijay & Rajini where the do-gooder fights against the main crime boss are over. The tamil industry is moving towards a more sophisticated approach to film making. Movies like Naadodigal, Aaranya Kaandam are taking us into a new era where the script is the hero and the screenplay is the star. And Deiva Thirumagal is the best example thus far.

We are well aware of Vikram's acting skills. But acting can only take a movie a short distance without the proper script. A movie like Anniyan (though I enjoyed it), doesn't really utilize the actor's ability. Deiva Thirumagal pays homage to the actor's skills by fully utilizing it to immerse us into the story. Vikram deserves a movie like this and the movie deserves an actor like Vikram. There were a few scenes where the story was weak but as Bala said, its not the story, its the character that's more important. This isn't really a perfect movie but art doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to capture your imagination and this movie captures more than that.

The movie doesn't answer any questions; it doesn't say whoz right and whos wrong. But it makes you feel human and that.... is the most important character a movie should have. Hats off to the crew behind Deiva Thirumagal! Anyone and everyone should watch this movie. Vijay is a director that I'm gonna keep my eyes on.

Ever heard of the term, anti-intro?

2011-07-11T01:12:00.001+05:30

Last weekend's tournament was a disaster for me in my ways. Its ok to lose but to not fight at all is something I find hard to accept. Usually when things go wrong, I try to bundle up all that anger and use it to propel me in something else. So, I decided to go AWOL for the next tournament and set my sight on the racing game Trackmania Nations Forever. I've for long been a fan of racing and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to see whether I've still got it in me to compete.

I went berserk; bought myself a new Xbox controller and started practicing like crazy. I kept playing till my fingers hurt. It has been just three days though but I've already seen around 20 videos of the game, the last year's finals and the various tactics in the listed maps. The city level qualifier is on 23rd & 24th July and so, I laid out a plan to practice in an organized fashion, with one map on each day.

I even set myself a target which I hoped to achieve considering all went well. My target was a podium finish at the national level. That maybe a hard target but what's there in competing if you don't aim high! I got all geared up, even started listening to some uplifting music. And suddenly, like all things in life, it came crashing down! (as usual)..

You see, the national finals is on the weekend in August. I had agreed a month back to go on a trip with my family on this particular weekend, which I obviously forgot. Damn! I've heard of anti-climax, but this is anti-intro.. Do I feel dumb right now!! :|

Oh well! I fell in love with the game in these past three days and so, gonna continue the practice and at least compete at the City Level.. I do hope I get some opponents to make this worth my time..

Racing in the DiRT

2011-06-17T01:19:00.000+05:30

I was looking for some new game to kill time and I heard that DiRT3 was out. Being a fan of Colin McRae and racing in general, I decided to check it out. The first thing that caught my eye was the graphics. I don't know how they do it but with each version, the graphics just keeps getting better. Maybe its just that we spend so much time looking at concentrate walls in NFS that the tracks filled with greenery in DiRT becomes a welcome sight for sore eyes.

If you have tried Colin McRae before then you'll know that DiRT is no easy game to master. So, I took it slow for a couple of races so that I can settle into the game. What I realized soon after is that the game was pretty darn easy (compared to the usual Colin McRae). So, what's the big deal you ask? Damn man! The difficulty is everything.

In a normal racing game, you win most of the races in the first attempt and you keep moving forward along with the story. Your interest in the game is maintained by your desire to drive faster cars while you are immersed in the story. But in Colin McRae, its different. There is no story and the slow cars are as much fun as their faster siblings.

The USP of a Colin McRae game is that its insanely difficult. A normal game has Easy, Medium and Hard whereas a CMR has 6 to 9 difficult settings and not to mention the various assists that can be turned on or off. Reaching pole position in medium difficult will take you months. To win a race in high difficult setting is near to impossible for most players.

You know you can't beat the computer, so, you keep trying to beat your own time. If you ace one corner, you might get a .4 sec advantage. You keep trying again and again for hours perfecting every single turn. All of a sudden you get that perfect lap where you kissed the apex in every corner to beat the computer by .2 seconds! In that moment, you will feel INVINCIBLE! In that single moment, you will have realized what gaming is all about!

Its that feel that I miss in this game. They have toned down the difficulty and I'm finishing first regularly even though I've played the game for just two days. I'm hoping that the game will get more difficult as faster cars get unlocked.. *fingers crossed*

Buried

2011-03-07T16:05:00.000+05:30

I just saw a movie called 'Buried'. Its about a guy trapped in a coffin. Period. That's pretty much it. Technically, that's the whole story. I'm not sure how to explain this, but, it was brilliant. I haven't seen such a good movie in a looooong time. I still can't believe that a movie taken inside a box can be so good. Unbelievable!

The movie also gave a good example of how desperate, drastic and mad some people are. They are the ones you would call 'terrorists'. There are also others who are basically, just greedy. They are just people blinded by money and comfort. I don't think I've to explain who they are. If you don't know, you'll get it when you watch the movie. The rest of the people, they are just helpless; not completely innocent but helpless.

There are lots of movies that thrill you, make you laugh, cry and even think. This movie doesn't fall under any of those categories. This one, falls under a special category. The category is called 'Must Watch'. At least once in their lifetime, everyone should see this.

Rocky Balboa

2011-02-25T20:01:00.000+05:30

The name Rocky Balboa doesn't need an introduction. The first thing that would come to our mind when we hear that name is the awesome tune 'Gonna fly now'. He was one of those characters from our childhood that we simply admired. The latest Rocky movie was released in 2006 and I just watched it again last night. Weirdly enough, my bro didn't seem that impressed by the movie and my colleague even called it 'too artificial'. I can't really blame em because the movie wasn't exactly brilliant.

On the other hand, the point that the movie tried to make was just inspiring. The whole movie can be summed up in one short speech.

I can't possibly explain it in a better way. The truth in that speech hit me hard. We can give a thousand reasons as to how someone else's action or inaction affected us. But in the end, whatever happened was because of us more than anyone else. Our life is, what it is today, because of us. No use in blaming anyone else. Somewhere along the way, WE gave up.

Just listen to this speech every morning and try to relate it to what happened in your life the day before. You might actually experience a profound change in your attitude and eventually your decisions in life.

Learn Something New Every Day!

2011-01-29T21:40:00.000+05:30

There were a lot of good practices in our culture that we have now forgotten. But that's because, in today's world, those practices aren't even relevant. Then again, we have not developed that many new worthy practices either. Well, if you feel the same way, then here is one you could try:

www.howstuffworks.com

Yes, its just another website. But wait, let me explain. This website has a lot interesting articles which are both short and informative. These articles are about the concepts behind a lot of what we use or experience in our real life. For example,

how is the cost of petrol determined or
what's the difference between a two-stroke and a four-stroke engine.

It can even be about something more basic like

why is it not possible to manufacture water or
how does a hurricane work.

It can sometimes even be fun like

what would happen if everyone in US flushed their toilets at the same time or
what would happen if you never took a bath.

But no, its not a fictional take on that scenario, its a factual look at the concepts behind it. There are new articles posted all the time and there is a huge archive of such articles. Its also damn easy to find an article that interests you. Just cycle through or refresh the four articles in the main page. Or, you could try the Random Zone, where you can click a button to get random facts, quotes and articles.

My suggestion is, visit the site once every day. Find one article that interests you. Read one article every day!

I'm still here

2010-11-04T02:33:00.001+05:30

I didn't post for more than a month now but instead I wrote a lot of articles in my website. The site has been generating a lot of traffic recently and I'm keen on utilizing this momentum to grow further and reach out to more gamers. But sadly, I'm still alone in my effort. Oh well! I have now seen so many websites come & go, so many organizations form & disappear, that I strongly believe I have achieved something solid.

On a more personal note, I'm at the bus stand right now, waiting for a bus to Chidambaram. If I had left the home in my bike, I would've reached Chidambaram by now. But sadly, I didn't give much thought to this option because my parents probably wouldn't agree. Next time though, either I book the ticket or I take the bike. What a waste of time this is!

Yippee Yee Ha!

2010-09-06T00:37:00.000+05:30

In the past two days, I had to learn 'Regular Expressions', sending web request from php, parsing XML data and a couple of other technical stuff. If you didn't understand any of that, well, neither did I two days back. But I had to learn them to code a new feature for my website. You see, its soon going to be one year since the start of my website. I was never really sure whether the site would survive this long but it has. To mark the occasion, I'm gonna introduce a new Videos Section in the site.

To top that off, we also have a contest to introduce the new feature. Thanks to Ravi for his contribution of two brand new Kinzu mice. Since he had sent me the mice already, I had to sit and code the feature. Thanks for the motivation Ravi. That aside, it just feels good to learn so much in two days & do a lot of coding which I had no idea about just a day back. It Feels Great!!

On the negative side, I'm yet to find a person who can help me with the site. Yet another gamer offered his help today. But only time will tell how helpful he'll be. I struggle for hours sometimes even days to finish some work. Once I finally get the work done and I feel like jumping around in my chair, I suddenly feel sad because I've got no one to even tell this to. Oh well, you can't have everything!

Now you know why I made this post. I had to tell it to someone.. :P Aatha! Naan passaagitten!!!

15th of August!

2010-08-15T23:43:00.000+05:30

Independence Day! I'm sure we all agree that this day is of great significance in our history. It probably changed our lives for the better even before we were born. I accept the logic behind the importance of Independence. But no matter what we do, we can never really feel it. Unless there is a war or crisis, we don't really give much thought about patriotism. I'm not saying that we are evil or selfish; I'm sure we will prove ourselves when/if an opportunity presents itself. So, what are we supposed to feel on the day of Independence?

You could say that we should feel proud and that we should thank the heroes who gave their lives for us and all that stuff. But, its easier said than done. I mean, we ignore the beggars on our streets every day. We are used to not feeling empathy. So, how are we going to feel deeply compassionate about someone whom we haven't even met? The answer, is to meet them. No, going to the grave of the soldiers wouldn't do us much good. But watching a movie that is less heroic and more realistic about our Independence might help.

Last night, Sony Pix screened the movie Gandhi. I have seen the movie before but I still decided to see it once again to remind me of the feeling; the feeling of Independence. This isn't some cheesy, heroic movie about how one man saved a nation. In fact, the movie was written by an American and directed by an Englishmen, even Gandhi himself was played by Ben Kingsley born in UK. The movie was released in 1982.

The movie starts with the life of Gandhi in Africa but quickly fast-forwards to India. As soon as he reaches India, he starts collaborating with Nehru, Patel, Jinnah etc. The movie shows how these great leaders differed in opinion but still had immense respect for each other. It shows how one man grew to become the father of a nation and how even he couldn't control what was happening to our country.

When we think of Gandhi, we think that the whole country stood behind him as he faced the Britishers. But that is far from the truth. We get a glimpse of the real history of India and Pakistan. We see how one man struggles to preach peace when the whole world is engulfed in a World War. Most of all, it shows us what it really took to achieve Independence!

My Bad

2010-08-14T21:25:00.000+05:30

I didn't post for a long time now and if you go through my previous post, you'll probably figure out what happened. Yes, I failed, miserably. I wanted to do some work on the website daily and post it in my blog but I obviously didn't. But that doesn't mean that I didn't work on my site. Never mind that, this post isn't about my site. This is in fact about an amazing article that I read today.

You know how everybody has got different versions of the same story? When a bunch of people say Gandhi is the father of our nation, there is another gang claiming he ruined the country. Everybody has got their own opinions about everything. Its called perception and it has been intriguing me from my college years. Perception is the way we see the world and though we see the same thing, trust me, we interpret it in a completely different way.

We live in this society without giving much thought about what the society forces us to do. We have all felt like prisoners at times, trapped inside the giant walls that the society builds around us to blind us from thinking any other way. Seeing beyond these walls is called free thinking. If you think that was just some philosophical bull crap, then my friend, you are caught deep inside this prison.

Free thinking is questioning what is generally taken for granted. This has been the difference between great men and ordinary man. If you still don't get any of that, just go through this article. Its one of the best articles I have come across in recent times. The article is basically about failures. Its about the attitude we should have towards our failures. Its about learning to learn from your mistakes.

I see people spend at least half of their daily life online. Internet is a treasure island and if you are gonna spend half your lifetime in here, then at least take a few moments to search for these treasures. Reading a couple of articles might not change your whole life, but it will slowly change the way you see your life. Please, do yourself a favor and read it.

An Idea can Change the World!

2010-07-18T00:20:00.000+05:30

Yipeee!! Nolan managed to pull off his miracle yet again. Inception is awesome. For me though, nothing beats The Dark Knight, but still, Inception did impress me in its own way. I'm not gonna talk about it just yet. Sathyam Cinemas ruined the whole experience by including subtitles in the movie. When I called their customer service about it, they said its in the hands of the distributor.

Fortunately though, thanks to my friend Ashwin, I found out that Devi Cinemas is not playing any subtitles. So, I've booked four more tickets for the noon show this time. I'll watch the movie again and then talk all about Nolan's magic.

About the site, I added a couple of more tournaments and I've mailed a couple of people asking for information and co-operation to cover their tournaments. No updates from the new content writer Raj. I didn't feel like working on more boring stored procedure based security fixes. So, I went through my list of To-Dos for the site. Nothing seemed that important except the videos section but Shiva anna is working on that.

Therefore, I've decided to work on a system to track the number of users online. The site seems rather static and so, adding this feature might help. Besides, this is a platform which once laid can act as a basement for a lot of major updates to the way users are handled in the website. The best thing about this is that I'm completely new to it and hopefully I'll enjoy the adventure..

For now though, looking forward to a day filled with Inception and DotA with Atl..

Almost missed my mark!

2010-07-15T22:59:00.000+05:30

When I reached home today, it was 8.15pm. And to further complicate things my cousin needed the system for some time. So, I barely had any time to work on the site. I thought I was gonna fail my plan after just two days. But luckily, Raj saved me. He is a gamer who is interested in writing articles in my website and helping me out in general. He mailed me one of his previous articles and I gave him some feedback. That is the best I can do and so, I'm gonna count that as today's work for the site.. :D

By the way, I don't think I'll write either work on the site or write an article tomorrow. Let me give the excuse in advance. My man Nolan's movie Inception is releasing tomorrow and I've got tickets for the night show. So, I'll post all about it later in the weekend.. Can't wait for the movie... Yippeeee!

Uneventful B'Day..

2010-07-14T22:50:00.000+05:30

Haha! Just yesterday I said to myself that I will make at least one addition or change to my website every day and also post the change here. I didn't want to go back on my word on the very next day. So, I've made some minor changes to the website by fixing some loose ends with the PHP5 conversion. But I don't have time to test it thoroughly, so, that's that.

Besides that, I had an uneventful Birthday today (my kinda B'Day, I guess). I was pleasantly surprised with the number of Facebook wishes. I'm starting to realize that it does feel special to be remembered by people whom I haven't met for months or even years now. Anyway, thanks guys.

I'm down with cold, so, off to bed..

My Next Step!

2010-07-13T22:41:00.000+05:30

I have been complaining for a while now that I'm getting no help from my friends and that its hard to stay motivated when I'm alone. Well, there is no point in complaining and so I decided to take some action. I went through some articles on staying motivated and I'm planning on trying them out. First thing is to take at least one step a day towards my goal. That basically means, I will some addition or change to my website every single day. No point in working for 3 days together and then getting burnt out for a 2 weeks (which is exactly what I was doing earlier).

The next thing is to keep a record of the work that I complete. I have always been keen on writing down my thoughts, actions and accomplishments. Every time I watch a movie, I rate it in imdb.com Every hour I play a game, I keep track of it through xfire. I have decided to do the same with my site. I'm going to post every day about the change that I make to the site. That might not interest you, yes, but it might motivate me and that is all I need. If you feel like helping me out, then do try out the change that I post every day and give me a feedback right here. Just post whether you like the change, or whether you have any other better idea etc. Any comment is welcomed.

I'll start it off with the change I made today. Incidentally, I made a major change to the site today but none would even notice it. I upgraded the site's back-end from PHP4 to PHP5. I tested the site a little after the change but it was far from a thorough test. I solved the issues that I came across but there might be more. I also made some changes to the way comments are added to the news section. It is much more user friendly now and has better error handling. If you wanna see the difference, compare it with the comments in the replay section.

That is it for now.. Gonna sleep early so that I can wake up and book the tickets to 'Inception' if the tickets get released.. Take care...

The World Cup is Over! Yippeee!

2010-07-12T00:17:00.000+05:30

Yep, the World Cup Finals is over and the Chinese have yet again proven that they are the best in the world. Oh wait! I hear someone shouting 'China didn't play in the Finals, you idiot!'. Well, they did win the World Cup that I care about. I'm a DotA player and to me, ESWC is the World Cup and China did win it hands down. If you are asking 'Whats DotA?', then you better skip this post. If you are asking what's ESWC, then this post was a dedication to you.

Let me make it clear, I have nothing against FIFA. Its a sport that millions love and I'm fine with that. But lets not forget that we spend around 2 hours a day playing DotA. Why then aren't we following the DotA World Cup with the same enthusiasm? Football is a game that we have rarely played. But DotA is something that we play on a daily basis. Why then isn't this interesting to us? Of course there is no Shakira dancing for the theme song of ESWC, but come on..

I think this is why Computer Games are still a childish thing in India. If the players who play it don't believe in it, then who will? We see DotA as time-pass, not as eSport. When was the last time you saw your own replay? We complain time and again that there is no tournament but how would there be a tournament when there is no competitive spirit? Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in a battlefield surrounded by kids instead of soldiers.

Why am I so melodramatic all of a sudden? Well, its pretty simple actually. Every time there is a conversation in my office or cafe about some football match, I have to pretend to be interested so that I don't seem out-of-place. But when I enthusiastically go out looking for someone to speak with about ESWC, there is no one and that really upsets me! I might get flamed for this, but I'm glad that the FIFA World Cup is over. But I wonder how long it will take for the buzz to die down. Coz every time someone mentions the word FIFA, the only thought that comes to my mind is 'Why isn't DotA good enough for you?'!!

Where is my Life headed!

2010-06-14T03:04:00.000+05:30

It has been a really long time since my last blog post. Power fluctuations at night, work, DotA, website, bla bla, so many reasons for why I didn't blog. But the truth is probably that I was neither enthusiastic about anything nor was I upset enough to make a post and vent my anguish. Then why post now? Simple! Because I'm upset. Why am I upset? Reasons are as follows:

No Competitive DotA

Competitive DotA was always something that kept me going. A chance to learn, to fight, to improve, to work as a team.. Sadly, my team is in no mood to play. Weirdly enough, they keep blaming each other saying the other person isn't interested/serious and what not. Nothing better than a team that can't get together and do what they do..

No Help with my Dream

Almost a week ago, I made yet another desperate attempt at nurturing some interest among my mates in my little website. All I managed to force them to do, was make a phone call or two. Sadly, I do that every week for the site. I realized something else. When I tried to brainstorm about the site, people were throwing out so many ideas and were arguing about how their idea was better than the other person's idea. In the end, when I asked them to work on it, they just went silent! Looks like everyone can come up with ideas, but when it comes to working for it and proving themselves, few are ready. Like Batman said, "Its not who you are inside; its what you do that defines you"

Work

If there was one thing that I didn't want in my job, it was extra work hours. Well, considering that I'm mostly in the office from 7am to 7pm, I don't think that wish came true. Hopefully, I'll get better at what I do and so will my colleagues so that we can be more efficient and spend less time in the cubicle.

Power Fluctuations

I reach home around 8pm and I leave at 6.30am.. But from 9pm to 2am, the voltage is so low that I'm not able to use my system. Whenever things went really wrong in my life, I used to turn to my computer for relaxation and rehabilitation. Sadly, that too has been taken away from me.

All that is probably just in my head. I mean, think about it, I'm employed, I have a good bike, a home, a future and what not! But still, something seems missing.. Oh yes! A Dream!! Its hard to Dream alone. Its hard to work towards a dream when you are lonely in the battle. I need a fool to share my dream with!!

The Team Trip to Goa!

2010-05-24T22:36:00.000+05:30

After my last tour of Hyderabad, I didn't really think that I would attend another national tournament with my team. Amazingly, we managed to pull it off yet again. After qualifying at the City Level for ESWC/ICGC 2 tournament, we were short of players to attend the National Finals at Goa. Thankfully, our friend and long time rival Sathya joined us and we made it to Goa. It was me, Vijay (Maxi), Raja (Arch3r), Ganesh (papu) and Sathya (nofear86).

The five of us hadn't played even a single match together before this event, but that didn't matter because we just wanted to have some fun and do what we did best, play DotA. It was a completely different experience because, we didn't practice, we didn't plan, we didn't even book the tickets in advance. Everything was done at the very last moment. Since I managed to get only two days leave from office, I had to spend an extra 3.5k to catch a flight on the day of the tournament. But we made it on time and we had a lot of fun.

The venue was a resort in a remote location called Calangute. I rented an Avenger at the resort and blasted through the empty roads at sunrise, dusk, dawn, midnight and any other time I could find. The most fun I had on the bike was probably when I rode with Vijay in search of a hill to climb. We had no idea where we were going or how to get back. We just wanted to ride our bikes till the tank ran out of petrol. We entered some narrow gap at the side of the road which lead into someone's backyard and then into a plowed field.

We met a lot of gamers from around the country. I was pleasantly surprised when I realized that around 30 players had turned up from Chennai which was the highest compared to other cities. We spent hours together watching competitive action, sitting by the pool, chatting in silence, discussing about the games and drinking Lemon Soda without a care in the world. It was a well deserved break from the routines of daily life and I just wish that we could go on such trips every few months.. :)

I'm a Grown-Up now!

2010-05-14T16:42:00.000+05:30

I really feel that I have finally become a grown-up. Its not because I have become more responsible or that I'm earning now. Its because I have lost my dreams; I spend most of the day looking at the clock, waiting for the day to end and I feel miserable most of the time. Back when I was a student, I wouldn't have time to look at the clock or even to have food. I was busy doing whatever it was that I was doing and I loved doing it. Now-a-days, others love what I'm doing (I mean, the society praises a young adult who has joined a reputed IT company and is earning a hefty sum), but I hate what I've become.

Its not necessarily the work that I hate. I've learned to love almost everything that I do in my life and I can manage work. But not finding time to do things that I loved so much, is really depressing. When I was gaming, people used to say that kids who play computer games all day have no life at all. But now, I realize that its the IT-employees that have no life at all. The worst part is probably that, there is no scope to dream at all. The further you go up the ladder (in the company), the more time you have to spend in the office and the more you miss your life.

I'm losing my ability to dream. When you start to think realistically rather than dreaming about possibilities, you know that your time is up. I believe mine is about to end. Even if I had studied well and joined an even bigger IT firm, I would've felt the same way. I know this for a fact because an old friend of mine who did exactly that feels just like I do. From an young age we are given only one aim. Its to find a job that pays us a lot of money. But our aim should have been to a find a job that we would love to do. Anything else, just won't do.

What we don't see!

2010-04-26T01:00:00.000+05:30

This is going to be a short post, not because the topic is a simple one, but because, I'm going to ask you to read a rather lengthy article. It doesn't matter whether you are too busy or whether you have some plans, work etc. If you are reading this post, then I'm sure you can spare at least half an hour of your life and read this article and think hard about what is said in it. Regardless of who you are or what you do, you should read this article.

Its about how we spend our daily life in such a frenzy that we forget that we are losing out on so much in our life. You might not believe it but we really do become blind when we are caught in our day to day activities that we wouldn't notice it even if God was standing right next to us. Joshua Bell might not be a God but he is a child prodigy. He started playing a violin from the age of four and he tours around the world playing in concerts that cost huge amounts of money. He was asked to dress as a street performer and play his $3.5 million dollar violin and the songs that are considered the very best in all ages. He was asked to do this on a Friday morning in a mall that houses some corporate offices. Wonder how many noticed him? Wonder what happened next? Just read this old article..

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

Is it just me or is everyone really dumb?

2010-04-24T22:30:00.000+05:30

Is it wrong to think that I am smarter than everyone else? It probably is, but what if I'm able to correctly predict the consequences of the bad decisions that others are making? Does it give me rights to force or criticize their decision? Again, probably not. What if their wrong decision affects me and my dream? Now that, is something to think about, isn't it?

Ethics is probably the hardest topic to discuss and arrive at an acceptable answer. So, let me not get into it. But unfortunately, I think I still need some help. Now, let me explain the situation. I believe that I have finally started to understand the game of DotA. Yes, its another post about my stupid gaming life, but bare with me on this one, because I need some help. As I was saying, I believe my DotA skills have improved to the extent that I'm able to take proper in-game decisions.

I had to struggle a lot to gain this particular skill and I'm not ready to take it lightly, at least not yet. DotA being a team game, there are four others in my team who play their roles and also help in the decision making process. But when their action doesn't follow my decision, I get extremely upset. I believe that I'm able to see more than what others do and I'm able to guess the outcome of most situations. But when someone doesn't follow what I say and end up in ruins, I feel that they are just being stupid.

I'm unable to control myself in these situations. I'm not expecting anyone to accept that I'm smarter. I just expect them follow what I say. How do you tell a stupid that he is stupid? You obviously can't. All you can do is tell them what to do. That is exactly what I'm trying to do. Now, I have no idea why I'm posting this in my blog but I have. So, tell me, what do you think I should do? Should I go easy on them and let them make a fool of themselves? Or do I take the lead and keep shouting at them? Its kinda hard for me to take the lead and not get emotional. Or should I again work hard to try to change myself? Why do I always feel like a one-man army in everything that I do!!