The BHARAT JHURANI Blog

Life of TARGET

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:19:00 +0000

Its now been about three months selling chocolates, and it has just been getting better with every passing day. I have started enjoying sales, what with your daily report card right in front of your eyes every evening.

Chasing numbers of different kinds – Value, volume, coverage, efficiency, productivity and then scheme related targets. These were the lower limit numbers – something that you have to reach. More famously known as TARGETS.

There is another type of number called SLAB, defining the upper limit you can reach. A scheme is always budgeted and under no circumstances is one supposed to exceed them.

After the long mad chase for these numbers called TARGET, I am left wondering what exactly would be the biography of this thing called “Target”.

My humble attempt in profiling this divine phenomena – TARGET. Lets listen to it from the devil’s mouth itself.

My Name is TARGET
Imaginary, Multiple, Worldwide

About Me

Birthday– 1st April/ Every month at some places/ Every week at some other places. As we go lower down the hierarchy I could also be born every single morning.

Location

Arbitrary documents, Excel Sheets, Bosses / Employee’s Brains
Relationship Status- Impossible.

Here for

Sadistic Pleasures, or the kick! The way you take me.

First thing you will notice

I am too far, ever!

Introduction

Hello everyone my name is TARGET.
I exist in various forms across the globe. The biggest bosses in companies and corporate create me to continue their reign. I am thrust upon their subordinates who in turn do the same. I am the source of power for superiors at every level.

I get split into parts when I am thrust down the food chain.

Biggest Boss (1) --> Bigger Boss (3, 4)--> Big Boss (a few)....-->Employee (too many)
(Employee is the last node with no subordinate)

If someone gets too close to me, I am given a boost by the immediate superior.

HaHaHa (sarcastic smile) and I get away again. Yeah sometimes, like it happened to Bharat Jhurani last time, getting too close to me before my expiry could also mean danger. Bharat got too close to me on the 25th itself, and thought he has done a great deal. His boss praises him, showers him with all accolades, and then stretches me, to make me elusive again. The next month onwards, Bharat Jhurani always gets a big version of me!

Family

There are some close relatives of mine who never show up if I am not present.

Namely promotion and raise are my loved cousins. We are so close that they do not go anywhere without me. But they are considered socially awkward by the evil “humor recourse” people. So these people try to keep me away so that my cousins automatically don’t show up.

About Me Again

I enjoy a lot during my life. I see people slog to get me…oh I am so desirable :)
But my lifespan is too short; whether someone gets me or not I will die soon.
And I even know when I will die.

My Favorite tagline

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Personal Advice

Do try to get me but don’t waste your life for me, coz I have multiple lives.
I will be born again with renewed strength and you will be the same, even more exhausted.

But what the heck I enjoy my life you too do :)

This is me – TARGET, and all the best catching up with me!

perfect weekend - good end

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:44:00 +0000

I am sure by now you have all been following the story of the perfect weekend - I and II, and it is time now to announce the end of the wonderful weekend.

Continuing from the terrace, where me and P spent long hours extending well into the night, we get back.

Sunday morning. As usual we wake up pretty late, and we go out to the same small tea shop to have breakfast. She said she kinda likes the place after thronging the CCDs and the Brasitas of the world, that small shack really felt at home. More in India. Oh! I so like this girl. Se has no airs at all.

It typically happens, fresh into a relationship. You keep thinking and analysing different things. She likes this. She does not like this. With these small observations you would try making a mental picture of her inner mind.

After getting back home after breakfast, we plan to get away soon to catch up a movie. She had her train at 10PM. Damn!

But then we decide otherwise, and come to a common consensus (a rarity with the opposite gender) that the room is a better, more private place.

After spending lots of time doing nothing, but just staring at each other and talking random, we finally decide it is time to get ready if we want to watch the movie. We get ready and head straight to CP – my favourite hangout.

We reach CP right in time for the movie, and she agrees for Quick Gun Murugun after a lot of persuading. I like her. We have our lunch in the PVR itself. The movie was a laugh riot.

After the movie, I met Puneet on the road there walking out of castle 9. He was there with his friends. Me and P then head to Knights to have a late lunch, or rather early dinner. Beer it had to be. I love this girl. Come on, she loves beer!

We then get this crazy idea. My first proper meet with her was here at CP a week back, and we decide, “lets re-create it!”. Lets again go to the same places and relive those precious moments.

We then go to KFC to fill our stomachs with some actual food, rather than just beer and stuff. By the way, P also loves prawns and insisted for some at Knights. Wah! One more match. I am so much in love with this girl. Beer and Prawns, what better can one ask for?

After KFC, and she calling home and all, we also go to the CCD outlet. We were in no mood for a coffee, or anything for that matter. Also, it was already 9:15PM, and her train was about to depart in 45 minutes.

But then, we had to relive those moments. CCD is the place where we first met, and we had to go there. The same outlet. We have tea there, and run for an auto.

I drop her to the station, to send her off. That was an emotional send off. She was occupied with the reality that we would not be meeting for long now. She was going across the seven seas next week, and I would be leaving Delhi soon for my next stint.

I was more occupied thinking about my sleep. I had to go to office tomorrow. Her train starts moving, and I plant a kiss on her cheek and we hug each other. She leaves.

I manage to get back home in an autorickshaw. I reach home at about 11:15.

Well, 45 more minutes. The weekend is not yet over guys!

At home, Puneet is drinking with his friends – the same ones we met at CP. I join them, with some beer.

At about 11:45, we are done with all alcohol, and Abhinav too was back after the L reunion meet.

We all have a con call, and then i go to sleep. A very well spent weekend I was just thinking. And also, I have to sleep well, I have office tomorrow and it has to be a big day!

Puneet runs towards my room. “Dude, that guy is puking. What do we do of him?”

Ha ha! The room is all messed up and stinking, and no amount of AXE spray helps.

“yaar, tereko pata hoga ulti karne walo ko kaise handle karein”, puneet tells me.

“Make him eat a lemon, or some water. It get him hydrated”, I reply.

“Chill dude, just leave the guy. Let him extract the full out of his puke”, abhinav says with a definite assertiveness.

We all collectively agree that nothing much can be done. Let the other guy, who has no clue with the happenings, be there sleeping dead like he is on Pot.

The puking guy was left to his own peril. He was too heavy to be even budged from his own puke.

Puneet sleeps in the couch. TB is in my room, and the slosh guy is lost in his own puke!

Ha ha! Perfect ending to an amazing weekend! Looking for more!!!

This series of the perfect weekend was inspired by real people and real events, but to maintain the interest of the reader (you!) it has been converted to a work of pure fiction adding the necessary masala and curry wherever the tone went bland!

Perfect Weekend - II

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 12:07:00 +0000

After the wonderful response on the beginning of the perfect weekend, and the complete approval of the rest of the post, here i am with the continuation.

Continuing from the previous post, where I left you all eating at comesum at 3:30 in the morning. My friends then thought of getting back home, though I suggested staying over for some more time and then going to the new delhi station directly from there. (Why?)

We get back home at about 4AM, and then after a quick conference call, we retire to the bed. Doc was really sleepy and so were all of us. Me and puneet were woken up from sleep a couple of hours back for Comesum

At about 7AM, I get a call on my phone and I lazily answer it. “Hello.. I have reached the station. Are you there?”, the voice on the other side screams.

“Huh! Oh okay, babes I am so sorry", Damn the alarm clock.

"Can you please come down on your own?”

She replies, “ Cool, no issues”, with a very obvious disappointed tone.

I sleep for some more time, and then again get a call.

“Hi, I am at the gurudwara!”, the same voice.

“Ah! Oh.. I.. I.. I am on my way. See you there in two minutes”.

Saying this, I quickly grab hold of my brush and finish shining my teeth. It was more to get over the smell of the cigarettes and masala dosa we had at comesum early in the morning.

Trying to hold my tracks ,I run down to the nearby gurudwara.

“Hi baby, missed you so much.”, and I plant a kiss. It did not really impress her.

She was already walking towards the house when I pick her up. Visibly angry that I did not come to the station and then again for the long time I took in coming down here to lead the way home from the gurudwara.

One more kiss. Hope this gets her out of her angry mood.

The real reason that got me late to the gurudwara was not the brushing, but waking up Doc. He was sleeping in my room, and I had to clear him before getting P. Seriously, that was tough and time consuming.

Before entering the house with her, I peeped into my room to ensure the fatso was gone. He was still in there!!! I had to make her wait in the balcony, get this lazy bum out of my room to the couch in the dining room, and then get her to the room.

Lots of kisses, hugs and sweet talk later, we realize that we are hungry. This was like at about 10AM. It took us one more hour, and many more kisses and “ I love you.. I miss you” stuff, to realise we had to get up to be in time for the breakfast.

At about 11, we finally get up from the bed, still not tired of the kisses. We lazily walk down the road, crossing the gurudwara to the tea point at sharmaji's.

After a sumptuous bread omelette and tea, we walk back home. Even doc, who was sitting idle in the living room all this time, getting bored and trying hard to read a book lying there, joined us for breakfast. He is good company, and is a thorough gentleman with girls around. That much credit I give him. But then so am I! remember Doc, that night at QBA.

Doc asks me if I could stay out of the room for sometime, as he wanted to get ready, and I had to agree. I spent some good time in the balcony with P, reading newspapers, and talking about the wonderful view of the balcony, overlooking the garden. Dreams flew by, and so did talks, that we nearly ended up living in bungalow with a huge balcony. We just designed our future home in great detail.

Doc was done, and he was going to meet his grad friends. We bid him a good bye, and got back to our own little sweet, non-ac room. The other room mates were still all sleeping dead, with their ac ON!

Again after idling for long and chatting, at about 2 we decided to go out for lunch, and after further lethargy we got up from the bed. Not before I got kissed a good three times! (This was the bribe to get me off the bed!)

We went down to SAKET, the closest hang out place from our home, and were thinking of watching a movie. She was more enthu for kaminey.. while I wanted to watch Quick Gun murugun. We finally zeroed in on LAK. The show was at 5:30PM, and it was still only 3, so we though of having good lunch.

We entered this awesome british restaurant at SAKET, where a single pint of beer costed Rs.250/-. Shit expensive. Well, I had just got my salary a couple of days back, and it was an impressive six figure. I was in total mood for indulgence. We indulged.

“A beer each please. Carlsberg”, I directed the fake smile faced chinese waitress.

Wow! This was turning out be like the best lunch date. I am out with a beautiful girl, and she loves beer. She also loved the prawns. Wow! A complete match.

At about 4 something, one pint beer down, we get mischievous. She heads towards the rest room, and we take full advantage of the isolated common area between the men’s and women’s washroom. Amazing! I had just seen it happening in films.

After that, I had one more beer, and she decides that she would just take a sip or two from mine. She was not that used to beer apparently. In the bill, we realize that happy hours are on, and we are entitled to one more beer due to the one plus one offer on. Beer anyday, so I go for one more beer, while her highness just stares at me. She had now shed her inhibhitions and after sitting long on the opposite chair, decides that it is better if she sits closer, right next to me. this way she can talk better is what she claimed! I believe otherwise though.

Probably one of the best luncheons I have ever had.

We then head to the auditorium and watch the movie. Corner seats.

After the movie, we were again on this decisive mode. One more movie, or home? She decides home it is, where we could have a romantic evening together. Anything for you ma’am!

We head straight to home, and change. We then set off again, to get some beer. Yes, she has now developed a taste for it. My roomies ask if I can get them some beer too, but then their order size was way too much to carry. One full case!

Me and P, head to the local theka, get three bottles of beer and then head to Café Coffee Day. CCD has a prominent place in our relationship. Our first date was at one of the many CCD outlets here in Delhi.

After spending some quality time there, me ogling at the beauty of delhi girls. (psst. There were two very good looking (read Supermodel type) girls sitting opposite to our table!)

We head back home, and order for Domino’s pizza and their newly launched pasta for dinner. Perfect romantic setting it has to be.

The pizzas arrive in sometime, while we were catching up with the 4th season of HIMYM on my lappy. She goes to the restroom for a minute, and I take this opportunity to have the perfect setting.

After a quick clean up of the room – clearing the newspapers and books, getting the bed clean, and arranging the laptop in a comfortable place. I then light a candle that I had bought earlier that week, and switch off the lights.

She is in for a huge shock. Obviously!

Dark room. Candle lights. Pizza and pasta with beer, and a super hot guy (Me! ). She was visibly impressed and gave me a tight hug.

“All this for me?”, she whispers, nearly in tears.

“yes darling!”, and I get a tighter hug.

After sometime out of the pleasant surprise and the hug, we settle down to have dinner and the beer.

What a pleasant time that was – everything was perfect. To add on, she was not like the other girls who always minded beer! (girls please, beer is much more better than vodka!)

After dinner, we head to the terrace which was my second plan. One more romantic setting. I just had this one night, so I had to get in everything fitted in right then.

Alas! I could not get the time to arrange anything up there at the terrace, but the moonlight did the magic.

With beer in my hand, and P in my arms, it was a wonderful feeling altogether. So now, if you my dear reader would please allow. i would like to spend some private time with my dream.

to be continued..

Snippets

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:03:00 +0000

idle browsing through the internet prompted me to start this. Small snippets of the interesting (to me!) happenings in and around out little world.

Sorry if most of these are marketing related events, but can't help. You can't expect a chocolate salesman to write about Rocket launches and underground sewage system right!

What next?

Lazy people, and insomniacs demand an apology from karan johar. The movie’s title has hurt their sentiments. Why should someone force me to wake up. This is a free country, and I have all the right to keep sleeping, with anyone er! I mean anytime.

Two months here in delhi has made me literally fall in love with the city. Everything out here is amazing. Especially the food. There are so many eateries, offering a wide range of options to satisfy every pocket. In fact, my favourite part in MINT is their weekend mid page where they have a tie up with TIME OUT, listing all the happenings in the metro. The food section there gets the most time share.

One more addition to the same is PlanForMe.com, a one-stop solution for all planning needs related to the food and hospitality industry, with its new print avatar of the website, in the form of a magazine called Food and Nightlife.

It is being positioned as a Delhi-centric magazine. With a cover price of Rs 30, the 60-page magazine will have an initial print run of 50,000 copies. Editorial content will form 70 per cent of the pages, while the remaining 30 per cent will be advertisements.

An the best part, By the end of this financial year, PlanForMe will be operational in Mumbai and Pune. By 2010, the company hopes to expand its reach to all the metros.

Though I am not all that a big foodie, who does not like good food?

Coming to the basic needs of life - mobile phones. no hello! it is no more the luxury it was a couple of years back. Now everyone holds a mobile. infact, a recent article in ET states that many indians actually have more than a single connection. trust india on extracting the maximum of schemes. i work for an MNC, selling chocoltes, and deal with distributors and retailers on a daily basis. trust me, even a 1% scheme, which might ammount to less than a few hundreds in a transaction of about a lakh matters a lot.

Anyways, coming back to the core issue - mobile phones. How many of you feel you are addicted to your mobile?. 99 out of 100 would refuse and claim that it is just another thing. But well, I firmly believe that 99 of 100 are actually addicted! Okay. Debatable.

Okay, chuck that. How many of you actually sleep with the mobile phone next to you?. A vast majority I am sure. A study says, “more than four in 10 Americans say they “can’t live” without their mobile phone and and nearly half sleep with it nearby”, according to a global mobile-phone survey from Synovate, which found that cellphones are increasingly becoming consumers’ “remote controls for life.”

This issue is something I have been working on for the past couple of months. Diwali gifting.

With the festive season well underway, people are gradually loosening their purse strings. Freebies, gift packs, discounts – FMCG players have pulled out all stops to attract customers. Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Dabur and Parle are some players that have come up with attractive schemes as in the previous years. All major players are eyeing 25-30 per cent growth in sales during the festive season. And well, my company is aiming much more than that. A never before seen spectacle.

Coca-Cola with its ‘Coca-Cola Khushiyan Replay’ consumer promotion campaign, a computer generated lucky draw would provide consumers with a chance to win Camcorders every hour for the next 40 days

Not to be left behind, PepsiCo India has come up with no less than eight different kinds of beverage gift packs consisting of its brands – Pepsi, 7Up, Mirinda and Tropicana, along with gift packs of snacks brands like Kurkure, Lays and Leher Namkeen. Damn! Direct competition. “Chitta, yeh teri boundary hai.. aur yeh meri. Mere area mein aake maal mat bechna!”
Can Dabur remain far? They have started selling gift packs with health as the selling point. Along with the real juice packs, the ‘Gift of good living’ – a container consisting Chyawanprash, Honey and Squeezy Honey would try to further the basic brand appeal – health.

Parle is also participating in the race, giving away free gift packs of Hide & Seek, Milano and assorted biscuits.

And who creates this category? Who shifts the consumer from the traditiona mithai and the dry fruits gifting of Diwali? more on that soon.

Last summer, during my stay at home, I was filled with nostalgia when I spoted a young cousin of mine reading the latest issue of Tinkle. I, like many of my age, have grown with Tinkle, chacha choudhary and the likes. And now Suppandi – the funny simpleton character from the magazine, is set to jump out from comic strips to the silver screen. ACK Media is producing a stereoscopic three-dimensional animation film, with Suppandi as the main character. The film would hit cinema halls in November 2010.

So these are small random items to keep you occupied before you read the rest of my weekend. I have already written it, and it has gone seven seas across for proof reading and editing. Will post it once it is approved!

Wake Up Sid - Movie Review

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:03:00 +0000

Last weekend once agin was an extended weekend – thank you bapu. So me along with my roomies decided to watch Wake up Sid. Now I realize it has been really long that I have actually reviewed a movie. Not that I have not seen any. The last three months I have seen the maximum number of movie, if the number of movie/ week is calculated for any period of my life. Huh! An MBA makes you this.

now the review.. (chuck the globe, i care a damn about your movie outings!)

This movie is different from other karan johar ventures. It takes inspiration from Dil Chahta hai, Rock on and the types. It is about the today’s world. Today’s youth. Today’s generation and their problems.

It is about a coming of age we all go through. It’s a film that instantly strikes a chord because it’s full of snapshots from our own lives.

Sid is a grown-up kid, not a “man”, as he is often told by his good friend Aisha. Sid is a rich, lazy, unmotivated slacker from Mumbai. Between the kid and the man lies the struggle to find one’s identity, a struggle to figure out what is it that one wants to do in life.

When college days are over, it’s time to think beyond i-pods, parties, get-togethers and to chalk out a career. “But why?” He can, because he’s got a rich dad who even tries to lure him into his business with the promise of a latest Porsche as a gift. And the next thing you see is Sid sprawled on a chair in his dad’s office, munching on a pizza and yapping on his cell. A grown-up kid not willing to wake up to the altered reality around him.

When Sid flunks his college exam (and it feels terrible trust me!) he finds himself in a tight spot. Tired of being taunted by his parents, he leaves his home and moves in with his best buddy Aisha, who’s come to Mumbai to be “independent”. There, living with Aisha , Sid is confronted by his harsh reality. He can’t cook for his life. He doesn’t have a job. His credit card is blocked. And on top of it all, he finds that he’s carried the disorder of his own life into Aisha’s. It’s time to wake up. “ hello good morning”.

one can karan for those high rise moments which would draw a person to the theatre. For instance, that scene when Sid is photographing a mother cuddling up her kid. In a flash Sid becomes aware of his own love for his mother

Wake Up Sid is a light hearted movie that will make you smile. Full credit goes to Ranbir Kapoor and Konkana Sen Sharma's flawless acting. Ranbir spellbinds you with an endearing act like his expression by using his eyes, his voice, his oddly-pitched laugh and the tiniest of tics to make a flesh-and-blood character out of Sid.

Perfect Weekend - Humble Beginning

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:51:00 +0000

While in college I don’t remember ever waiting for a weekend. There everyday was like a weekend, and every weekend was like any other normal day. Simple, if there are impending assignments, deadlines, exams the weekend is spent in the library, and if there is nothing of that sort any day could be a Sunday.

But well, it does not work that way in corporate life. Here after a whole week of sweating out in the hot sun, one starts to wait desperately for the weekend. Sometimes the wait begins from Wednesday itself.
So here was this awesome weekend I had, and I am sure it is going to be a memorable one for a long time to come.

It all started right from Friday evening. After a whole day of sales on the streets of rajendar nagar, I was dead tired and just wanted to crash on the bed. I reached home at about 8:30 just to discover that the maid has not come. So no dinner! Ah! I was too lazy to actually order something. Chuck the dinner, I am sleeping. And wroom I am on the bed dead asleep.

P calls, and some others too, but I don’t care. I am too asleep to even listen to the “twist” ringtone on my N72. Doc tries calling and messaging but I am not part of this external bliss. I am deep into slumber. At about 1, I hear bangs in my room, and the light on! A huge body is standing in front of me, and is ready to pounce on me. Oh! My Gawd! Is there a bull at home? Nah! It was Doc.

Doc is home, and after his tries of waking me up get futile he tries abhinav, and is successful. After exchanging the initial pleasantaries (read expletives) and the hugs (read fights), and a smoke, we come to a conclusion that we all are hungry. But well, no food in the kitchen. Doc has this crazy plan – lets go to comesum.

So, now while we have the much required night snack at ComeSum, you too go grab yourself a bite.

Coming up with the subsequent continuation soon..

FASTFORWARD - Marketing channel

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 08:43:00 +0000

In this ever-changing digital environment, it can often be tough for businesses and marketers to keep up and maintain relevance to consumers. To help this out, google has partnered with The Wharton School to launch Fast.Forward. This site is full of helpful content, including more than 100 videos from leading industry experts — like google CEO, Eric Schmidt — and academics like Jerry Wind, Lauder Professor at The Wharton School, AAAA CEO Nancy Hill, offering their perspectives on the changing world of marketing.

it elaborates on how to build community and customer bases in the digital landscape, through extensive videos. The Channel shows communications professionals how they can evolve to cut through the noise and spam, and build loyal audiences with tech savvy people.

Through short videos from some of the top industry minds the group hopes to challenge marketers to take risks and create better campaigns. For now, the site comes up short as the videos appear to answer questions in a very general manner with few specifics in terms of tactics and strategy. The most promising component of the site appears to be the "Free Tools" section with a list of resources including links to a website optimizer, search insights and 3rd party trends data from Facebook and Twitter. Right now, all of those links are dead.

The first rule of marketing: test your product.

As consumers become more and more technologically savvy, businesses and marketers have worked quickly to keep up. As a result, many companies are left questioning what they aren't doing that they should be, or what they should do next to stay in front of the right people, in the right place, at the right time, in an increasingly digital world.

A similar initiative by the UK marketing team of google, survival of the fittest already exists in partnership with London Business School.

More importantly, the videos also take a look at the implications of those changes for marketers and consumers. These experts tackle topics ranging from the importance of innovation and insights, to the new definition of speed. On the flipside, we also have videos from interviews with everyday folks, where we learn about the roles advertising and online content play in their daily lives.

In addition to the library of videos, the brand channel offers a "barometer" gauging consumer confidence levels and links to free tools designed to help marketers understand the online world a little better, as well as information on the Future of Advertising. A Wharton-led, research-based project, the Future of Advertising aims to explore and address a number of the business and marketing challenges in the current "Advertising Reality", while developing new models and empirical generalizations for advertising.

the event section aims to cover major marketing meets and events, coming up with some interesting behind the scenes footage.

So if you're interested in hearing what others really think about "advertising", if you want to check out what's happening at Advertising Week, or if you have your own opinion that you'd like to voice, check it out.

IDEA to airtel - with the same number

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 07:13:00 +0000

Mobile Number Portability (MNP), which has been on the anvil for long will finaly be implemented by the beginning of the next year. It would allow subscribers to retain their mobile telephone number while discarding one service provider for another.

So, airtel today, wait aircel has come up with pocket internet – SHIFT! Four days and boom I am on a different network. It would take a maximum of 12 days in Jammu & Kashmir, Assam and north eastern circles, though.
March 20, 2010 is stipulated to be the deadline for this to be implemented all across the country.
Ofcourse, there would be charges for the shift, and some other formalities, which I guess is completely worth the pain.

Brand loyalty is on question, and the consumer is the ultimate winner. The fight for ARPU (average revenue per user) is going to get more fiercer, and the telecom is to see some interesting times ahead.

I so thank TRAI for this initiative, though delayed. I had bought an IDEA sim long back in 2003, when other players were not all that good in network. But boom! What happens, as time passed by, other players came up with good exciting offers, and IDEA was still with the old times.

NIGHT call free, SMS at 1ps, and so many such offers which my college friends took full advantage with very good returns on the personal front. But I just lagged.

Why? I did not want to change my number! Now I finally can get out of idea’s hold.

I guess the next initiative of the government should be to absolve inter state roaming issues too. India is one country, and calling someone from kerala to JnK should be the same, as calling someone in the next room.

Maybe atleast, TRAI could come up with number portability inter state. So, for a person like me, who would keep shifting states would not have to change the number with every state.

All this would just increase the churn among the operators, which is at a very high level even now - 4.5 per cent per month in india, which roughly means that more than half India's over 400 million subscribers change operators in a year.

All for the good of the consumer!!

Getting social

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 09:16:00 +0000

Trust rediff.com to stir the best of the discussions. There was a story recently on someone gaining access to a celebrity’s social network and how it played havoc with the victim’s life, while she was busy shopping in London.

Thus a discussion page started, about the pros ad cons of social networking. Look at some of the comments:

You need to select your password which is impossible to guess...and should also be alphanumeric and contain special characters which make the haccker's job a little difficult. Being a non-dictionary word is recommended

Well for an online identity a password is a must. The social networking site recommends the same. The issue here is, the hacker (or hacker as you would cal them) need not guess the password. There are system bots and other such malicious software which could leak the password too, without any importance given to the complexity of the password. It be “bharat”, or “gh56&*$hu”.

This would no doubt keep continuing till a biometric system is much in vogue. Already many computers are inbuilt with finger print recognition, so that could be enabled with passwords too.

Wide Spread Porn is circulated.

Every thing in the name of social?

Authority must look into curb it.

Wide Spread Porn" its there everywhere...

its a mentality bor...

intenet/social sites are just a modern medium..

Authority cannot do anything as they could not stop pros in last 100 years..how do you expect them to stop something that is already there in the society.. go ahead and legalize it accept it you problem will be solved

Right said my boy. Porn would exist, and I don’t see any reason for it not to. Yes, on sites which are meant for children NO. But well, every site has an agreement form to be signed up declaring that the user’s age is above 18. What else could the site authorities do? Physical verification?

And like we in sales say,

Undercutting is like prostitution, it would always exist, no matter what!
Similarly porn to internet, the sooner we realize the better it is.

Except email address do not disclose any other contact details in social networking sites

Why email address? I get large amount of junk mails everyday. (I do get genuine business enquiries and thats why I had advertised it) But there is always a danger that it may be misused
.

Never ever give away your official email ids on these forums. Email ids are free people, so why not create a special id only for these spam mail generating websites?

Social networking is a wonderful thing online, and has helped a lot many people to reconnect and unite. There is bound to be misuse, but then simple measures can help us to be away from them.

management funda in reaching the station

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 11:50:00 +0000

I am sitting here at the busy railway station and writing this article, waiting.

After sleeping at 3AM, on a Saturday night what time do you expect one to wake up on a sunday morning? Not before noon atleast, no matter what. The just gone Saturday was no different. We started drinking right from 10PM, and went on and on. After finishing off all the stock in the huge 165 litre refrigerator at about 2AM, Kapil gets this idea to go out for an ice cream. Not that we wanted to eat an ice cream, but just for the heck of it. We agreed.

So, after an ice cream and then a conference call in the balcony, we managed to sleep at 3AM. I set an alarm on my N72 for 6AM. What? 3 hours. You want to wake up at 6AM on a Sunday morning? Have you gone crazy?
Nah! I have a train to catch.

I am going to Chandigarh for a week for my upcountry stint.
Next day morning, at 6AM sharp the alarm started ringing on my cellphone. I have on purpose set a very irritating tone, so that it drives me crazy and I get compelled to wake up. I have been using this technique, and this very tone, right since my MBA days. I also always keep the mobile a little far from the bed, such that I would have to get up from the bed to switch it off.

But damn the snooze option on the mobile, I picked up the phone from the dressing table, put it on snooze and went back to sleep! I kept doing this for the next half an hour, or probably a little more.

At about 6:40, I happened to glance at the clock on the mobile screen and I was like,” what the fuck?.. I am Late!”. The train is scheduled to depart at 7:40, and the station is a good 45minutes journey by an auto. I am doomed.

I completed the morning ablutions in a whisker, changed and after bidding a good bye (I just shouted to the sleeping mates informing them that I am leaving), I left home. As usual, Malviya nagar is the only area in Delhi probably, where the auto guys feel more comfortable travelling without any passenger on their back seat.

After some negotiations (against my favour), and convincing (more of begging!), one auto guy agreed to come over for 90 bucks. The normal journey is charged at about 70 something. I did not really have the time to negotiate. This is at 7:10, and the train departs in another half an hour, there is no way that I could reach the station.

I kept pressurizing him to drive fast, and I urging him again and again. I had an unlit cigarette in my hand, which was not getting lighted due to the high speed of the auto, and the flowing wind, but I was more concerned about the speed of the auto. i just kept holding it.

I was so wishing that there be some system (or its failure), like in the movie SPEED, where the bus should not be below a particular limit of speed else it would blow up.

After about 10 minutes I ask him, “bhaiyya, aur kitna time lagega?”

He replies, “yahan se.. kam se kam 20 minute to lagenge”

That makes it 7:35. That would imply that I will have to miss the train. No! this can’t happen, and I realize I have to convince him hard. This talk happens at a red crossing, and I light the cigarette taking advantage of the lack of motion in the auto.No, I want the damn thing to be in motion, in full throttle.

I again tell him in a desperate manner, “bhaiyya jaldi please, fast. Meri train 7:30 ko hai”

(Management funda: keep some buffer for yourself)

Even in sales or any field for that matter, every level of the hierarchy has some extra buffer target for himself, and sets a slightly higher target when apportioning his target to the sub-ordinates.

He replies, “Arrey, aap to late ho jaenge sir. Thodi jaldi nikalna tha na!”

This is how a saleman would reply while taking note of his targets. He would try his best not to accept the target, and keep cribbing that it is too high. Acceptance of defeat even before the war has started.
Now he is started zooming the vehicle but I am not convinced.

Yeah, as if I don’t know that i should have started early. Now I have got late, and lets do something about it. I try using the next funda of management.

(Management funda: Incentivize!)

I try making him believe, without making it explicit that he would get more money if I reach in time for the train.

It seems to be working, he has set the vehicle in full throttle, but probably he could do more. Now getting to the next principle,

(management Funda: Motivate and make him accountable.)

I try sweet talking to him, without disturbing his concentration on the road. I tell him inspiring things like, “Bhaiyya, ab aapke saath hun to aapko time par pahunchana hi padega. yeh aapka farz banta hai”.

I try to make him realize that it is like a question of his competency. These are the moments when his true skills are under test, and I also try to make him proud of his years of experience (18 years in this case). Ultimately, he is made to believe that his passengers should reach in time wherever they want to, and this becomes his most important KPI (key performance indicator). This is the pride of work that he lives for everyday, drives an auto all day.

Now the final nail, the traffic signals. He is still forced to stop at the signals, though it serves no purpose. It just delays my journey to the station.

(Management funda: authorize!)

I request him to jump traffic signals, and assure that I would pay the fine if any. I convince him that there are no cops around, and even try to keep in good humour by joking that all the policemen would be busy sleeping on their beds, afterall it is a Sunday morning.

He zooms, and I am at the station at 7:35 sharp! Huh! 5 more minutes left. Thanxs for the buffer time . It is so really important. We should probably have a complete elective on this in B-Schools.

I run towards the platform, asking passersby which platform is the shatabdi on.

It is on platform 2, or rather it was. I run towards the platform. I am on the foot over bridge and I can see the train moving! I run at the top of my speed, with two bags hanging on my shoulders, and screech down the stairs. still puffing!
.
.
.
.
..3 and a half hours later..
.
.
.
it is 11:15AM and I am still at the station waiting.

.
.
.
.
Well, at the Chandigarh station!, waiting for Rajeev to pick me up. Yes, I did catch the train!

Now all ready for one complete week in upcountry parwanoo away from the hustle-bustle of city life.

Awesome Monday

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 08:31:00 +0000

Its been more than a month here at Delhi, and after those initial hiccups I am now completely enjoying the stint. The days are filled with learning the nitty gritties of the processes and systems in selling chocolates. And the weekends are filled with loadsa fun and frolic. The campus setting is all recreated, what with the same bunch of people staying up together – every night is a potential party night.

Especially the past two weekends have been really awesome, and am sure its going to stay memorable for a long time to come. This post is about the awesome Monday that I had last week.

Early in the morning I was woken up at 4AM (my gawd! Who wakes up at that time? Not even the birds!), and after getting ready into my formal attire we start off to the New Delhi railway station at about 5. The train was to departure at 6:15AM, and we reach the station well in time. After the train departs, I wonder what to do?

Go back to malviya nagar, and start for gurgaon later? No point in this, as I would have to start as soon as I reach home. So a better option would be to get going to guragon (my office for the day, as discussed), though it is quite early to office. I take a bus to Dhaula Kuan, and then take another crowded bus from there to IFFCO chowk in gurgaon. I manage to reach gurgaon at 8 itself, while the office starts at 9:30 something.

After hanging around, and having breakfast at a roadside eatery, and tea and smoke, at about 8:45 i enter the office to find all staring in a strange manner. It was just the maintenance staff doing the cleaning, and by their looks it was apparent they did not recognize me. When I start settling down in my boss’s cubicle a guy comes running towards me.

“sir, kaun ho aap?” (who are you?)

Okay, now that was pretty straight forward.

I reply calmly, with a smile on my face, “mein yahin par kaam karta hun” ( I work here)

Another guy comes in, and remembers serving me countless cups of tea, and thus confirms my appointment.

After lazing around there for some time, and a visit to the bathroom I try settling down in the cubicle. Right then, I get a call from boss, who asks me to come down to rohini instead.

Great! I check on googlemaps on my mobile, and it shows rohini being 40km away form where I am right now. It would take atleast 2hrs to reach there and that too after blowing up a considerable amount of money on travel, and a sojourn in the crowded public transport.

Can I do something about it? No! So, well a sleep starved myself gets on into a rickshaw to get to IFFCO chowk. Now another irony here is, I don’t know the best way to reach rohini. I was initially thinking of reaching Dwarka, take a metro back to central delhi and change for the metro to rohini. Nice option it seemed.

Luckily the shared cab I got into was going to azadpur, and my googlemaps (to which I remained hooked during the travel), showed that it is on my way to rohini. On confirmation with the driver and paying an additional 10 rupee, I could still sit in the cab. I get down at wajirpur (thank you googlemaps), and then catch an auto from there to the distributor point where I was supposed to reach.

At the distributor point I am in for a shock – it is locked. Oh! How could I forget, this market remains closed on Mondays!

I call up my boss again, who then asks me to come down to prashanth Vihar instead. Awesome! The map showed that to be comparatively close. I walk out from the market to the main road, and try loking for empty autos to ply me there. I could just find a rickshaw, who argues of coming only till madhubhan chowk. I was helpless, and I had to take it.

At madhuban chowk, after crossing the huge traffic signal lights there, and the metro above, I get to the other side of the road. I am again looking for an auto or a rockshaw to ply me till my final destination (hopefully). After a wait, and walk, of about 15mins in that hot sun I finally get a rickshaw. And after asking a zillion people, and travelling randomly I finally locate one of the sales officers, and get assured. Yes, I have finally reached the required destination.

I get a call from my friend, who announces her arrival to lucknow. Wah! I am just crisscrossing aross NCR, and within this time people have reached lucknow. The time it takes for me to office, is as good as the time taken to reach lucknow. Well, such is life!

The destination I reached was a food court called rameshwarams. Yes, we generally have our meetings at such places, and that day was the time for mid year review. I just sit on my laptop trying to interact with the sales officers, and trying to complete the work assigned.

After about 4 hrs there in the food court, discussing random stuff ranging from stock markets to the trip to manali, and also working in between, I get to talk to my boss at about 4.Well, the lesser I talk about the meeting the better it is.

At about 5, after being dropped to the metro station I set out home. I reach home at about 6:30 and find my cell phone battery down. Damn! Last one minute probably and I try caling up TB (my room-mate), but before he could answer, the battery is dead. It so felt like that scene in hindi movies, where a person is dying in the lap and is uttering something very important earnestly, but before he could say the actual thing he is dead falling on the lap of the holder, mostly with the eyes open.

Now no keys for home, TB had said he would be going to the snooker parlour. And I don’t know where it is. I have a pair of keys that Abhinav ( another of my room-mate) had given me a week back or so. I go home with a heavy laptop bag on my shoulders and hoping that the key would do the job. Nah! How could life be so simple?

After trying hard, and even going to the terrace and having a smoke hoping that TB would be back by then I give up.

I had to use some salesman jugaad (more about it in detail in the ensuing posts) to get through this. I could not be waiting for ever for TB. I walk down to Sharmaji (the tea stall owner), and hav a tea. I was looking for a dispenser hung somewhere with mobile chargers. They are such a common site in malls. But well, why would any pug following company set one up here in this housing locality.

Then an awesome idea strikes me.

“Sharmaji, aapke paas mobile ka charger hai kya?”, I shout to the tea stall owner.

He gets all eager to help and asks his wife to check. The disappointment on his face when his wife finds one was apparent. He obviously did not want me to mess up with his things, lest I spoil them. He anyways gives the charger to me.

Alas! Why did nokia have to change their charger specifications? This one was of a thick pin, while my mobile jock accepts the thin one.

Now if you are still wondering why could I just not call up TB? Well, blame the mobile phones In the good olden days we would all have a small pocket diary having all the important numbers, but no more. The contacts were all in that dead phone. It seriously set me thinking, what if my mobile dies a permanent death someday. I would really land up in tough times.

I again get this rockstar idea, trying to convince myself – “come on dude.. you are a salesman.. use salesman jugaad”

I ask,or did it sound more like a demand “sharmaji, ek baar apna phone dena”.

Sharmaji, who by now was relieved that I had left his charger did not know that I had more serious plans. He replies,

“sorry sir, isme balance nahi hai.”

Okay, I am not interested in using up your balance.

“nahi mere paas bhi number nahi hai.. mujhe to kuch aur chaiye”, i chuckle.

Very reluctantly he hands me over the phone, and just stands beside me. This phone really means a lot to him probably. I am sure, even a stock broker would not take his own phone so seriously.

I start removing the battery, and sharmaji screams as soon as I open the compartment of his phone.

“yeh kya kar rahe ho.. kharab ho jaega!”, he is visibly worried.

“kuch nahi hoga. Aapka phone sahi salamt aapko wapas kar dunga”, I try explaining him calmly.

Yes. The salesman jugaad has worked yet again. I call up TB from my mobile having sharmaji’s battery, and TB gets back home in 5 minutes. I can now go home in peace to open doors.

After such a frustrating day, a person sure needs some vent out. I change into shorts and go out with puneet to CCD. After a relaxing black coffee, without sugar (no! not inspired from love aaj kal, I am addicted to this right since my 4 seasons days in vizag), it feels completely calm.

I am ready for the next day, ofcourse after a good night’s sleep. It seems like days since I have slept.

Thus ended an eventful Monday, after a very good weekend. Now you know where the term Monday morning blues came from

Online CAT: Further Update

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 23:27:00 +0000

Okay, I am in corporate life now, and I sell chocolates for a living. My job is to ensure that chocolate are available in every nook and corner of my territory and plentiful in that. But the passion of teaching still lies within and CAT coaching is something I have been doing for sometime now, and I think it is my moral responsibility to keep my readers updated about any new happenings in this arena. Especially after it being declared that CAT is going to be online from this syear, and I am sure this has created lots of apprehensions and doubts in the minds of the aspirants. So some more dope on this –

This is from an article on watblog about the recent update.

We all know that CAT is about to go online from this year, and in all probability it is going to be a computer based test.

The Common Admission Test (CAT) after recent months of speculation will finally be held Online this year. IIM has announced further details regarding Online CAT conducted from this year. CAT would no longer be a one day – one session appearance test but would now be conducted in 10 day long schedule with two test sessions in a day.

CAT-2009 will be held during November 28, 2009 to December 7, 2009. A candidate will be given choice in terms of test date, session (morning/afternoon), and venue across thirty centers (cities) all over India, subject to availability.

To appear for Online CAT, candidates will need to purchase scratch-vouchers from the designated bank branches, and later register online for CAT 2009. Vouchers would go on sale from 9 September 2009.

Some more frequently asked questions about CAT 2009

When is the advertisement for CAT 2009 going to appear?

CAT Advertisement will appear in leading newspapers on Sunday, 30 August 2009.

Once the advertisement appears, is one expected to buy CAT bulletin from designated banks?

No. One does not have to buy a bulky CAT bulletin. We want to go paperless. A prospective candidate buys a scratch-voucher from the designated bank branches, and, later registers online for CAT 2009.

When does the sale of voucher start and end?

Sale of vouchers starts on Wednesday, 9 September 2009 at designated bank branches and their associate outlets. The sale ends on Thursday, 1 October 2009.

When and how do I register for CAT 2009 after buying the voucher?

Online registration for CAT 2009 will also begin on Wednesday, 9 September 2009 and end on Thursday, 1 October 2009.Instructions on access to online registration will be given in the voucher, and, detailed registration instructions will be on the CAT website.

When will CAT be held and can I choose a test date?

CAT will be held during the period Saturday, 28 November 2009 – Monday, 7 December 20009. Yes, you can choose a test date, session (morning/afternoon), and venue across thirty centers (cities) all over India, subject to availability.

Can you give more details on taking test in a CBT format?

Starting Sunday, 30 August 2009, CAT website – www.catiim.in will provide all the details.

A more comprehensive list of Online sites to help candidates are linked here.

So all the best towards your preparation for CAT, which I am sure is going on in full swing by now.

Till then, have a look at this article in TOI, and relish.

Booze flowed free for over 100 villagers, including women, who partied hard after a truck carrying foreign liquor overturned on NH-5 in Jaipur district.

Ah! Now when is such going to happen in Delhi. But what the heck? Alcochol is anyways dirt cheap in this union territory. Cheers Guys!

Mallu agzent

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:20:00 +0000

HI All, long time. Well, have joined office and have been travelling to places the last few weeks. Presently have been posted in Delhi for my sales officer stint for three months. (in detail this weekend!!)

Landed in Mumbai first, and then set out to some hill resort near Pune. Was back to Mumbai for a couple of days, and then packed off to Cochin for two days. Back to Mumbai, just to catch the next morning flight to Chandigarh. After an amazing week in Chandigarh and its adjoining places, am here back in Mumbai.

The last couple of weeks were filled with immense learnings, and loadsa fun. As they say it here, am presently in the honeymoon period of my job. Here I got to interact to a lot of people, industry veterans, Big time marketers and my colleagues – the purple stars.

Access to internet has been minimal due to frequent travelling, and so am starved of any time to blog. Any odd access to a computer with internet connectivity is just spent on accessing mails. So here, I am posting a long time back received mail on mallu accent. The recent trip to cochin re affirmed this mail, and the agzent.

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

I am sure you had fun reading this, it is an even better experience reading it along with munching on Benana Chibs.

Now I hope no mallu comes over with a bottle of kokanet oil to slam over!! No offence indended guys!!

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 11:41:00 +0000

I am about to join corporate next week, and here I come across this picture which aptly defines the current job scenario. The placement scene seen across campuses back then in march said it all. Just about a year back, these very companies were thronging the campus for a slot, and this time over even after a lot of cajoling and sweet talk they relented – Hiring on freeze.

Forget hiring, many of the companies are actually firing away their employees, and some 'virtualizing' them ala Mahindra Satyam.

This picture, got on a mail forward, very aptly describes the current market scenario. One can't be like the man jumping off, due to the huge liabilities attached and a very remote chance of a job.

Also, it is getting tougher with every passing day to continue in the same job with cost cuts, salary cuts, virtualized and all. It is like being in the position of the fish.

Why am I ranting on the negatives of the job market just before joining a job? Nah! I am all charged and decked up for the new role. This holiday has really been long, and now I want to work.!!

‘Online’ CAT, and nothing else!!

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:33:00 +0000

I have been coaching for CAT for the last few months, and think it is my duty to keep my students updated about any new developments in this arena. More so this year, with the CAT going online, and many of you having loadsa questions and queries.

Here I bumped into this article, where prometric - the body organizing CAT this year spoke to an online CAT portal and clears lots of doubts.

Prometric has for the first time revealed that computer-based CAT 2009 will actually allow test takers to "scroll back and forth" during the exam. This confirmation has a lot of significance for the thousands of MBA aspirants taking the test this year.

This implies that CAT 2009 will not be a 'computer-adaptive' test, but will only be a 'computer-based' test. A computer-adaptive test offers a new question based on answer to the previous question.

Thus, one thing for clear, answer to a question will not matter in answering the next question. So it is just like answering CAT like last year, the only difference being the new medium of a computer, rather than the traditional paper and pencil.

Some more interesting insights from the interview are like the information that the total contract value for conducting the exam is a whopping 40 million USD (a cool 200 crore rupees!!). Also, Prometric is assuming responsibility for all aspects of the CAT computer-based test, including item authoring, test development, test administration, scoring and reporting services. Prometric will add resources, including dedicated test development and support staff in India for handling the project in a better manner.

About the security in administering the test, prometric ensures that enough measures are being taken for ensuring strict security. All test centres hosting CAT 2009 will employ Prometric's identity management (biometric) solution, digital image capture of all candidates and digital video recording of all testing activities

Regarding the questions, the pattern, comparison of the CAT with GMAT, and other such 'confidential' issues, prometric remained silent. Also, it preferred to remain mum on the amount to be charged by the IIMs for the test.

Thus, aspirants who have been thinking of tweaking their strategies, and waiting for the notification has this clear – Computer exam, that is the only change. Nothing more!!!

Marriage invitation

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:09:00 +0000

Nah! Keep the rumour mongers busy, and give them fodder. That is what I seem to be doing, by this provocative title. Before you jump to conclusions, I clarify that I am not getting married, and this is not about my wedding invitation.

Bumped into a very creative marriage invite, and am sure a complete movie can be made out of it. The invite is that elaborate.

For better quality of the pic. click on the pic, and then zoom to get a proper view.

With this much of innovation in the card itself, this guy should have tried getting married in zero gravity condition.

Selling Education – Recession Proof Business

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:28:00 +0000

I have been home for the last three months or so, working for a coaching institute here as their part time faculty. Now this is something that I really enjoy, right after I completed 10^th standard. Giving tuitions to neighboring kids, trying to tutor my younger brother, and also giving gyan to whosoever cares to listen. So, teaching is something that comes naturally, and after a stressful day, spending some time with the students, interacting with them, and learning at the same time gives me a wonderful kick.

I realize that teaching is no more an honorable role that it was previously. Teachers can build up people, a society or a nation through teaching (Ah! Big talk!), and it goes without doubt saying that teachers are valuable assets in our country. The basic job of a teacher is to inspire and enhance the confidence of the student, and to bring out his/her hidden qualities. Many more basic personality traits like honesty, integrity, ethics, etc… are inspired by a teacher, but here I am just relating to teachers at a coaching institute, and the institute in general.

One thing that I have been observing for these three months is the mass commoditizing of education, as if it was something to be sold in the market. The commercialization of education, carried out by these coaching institutes, and then the B Schools is altering or disrupting the teaching and learning process itself. Advertising and other commercial activities in order to increase profit just negates all the goods of a nice education. It is like:

Want an MBA?

Join our coaching institute. More than half the junta at IIMs presently is from our institute. (How many were regular students? How many of them were actual students at all?)

We have approved and audited results from the biggest auditory services firm in the country, confirming our
claims (Okay! I agree to your claims, but what is the percentage of the people who do not make it anywhere?)

Sitting in the office, I look at despair students with their clueless parents, hanging their big money bags under their vests, trying to look for some information regarding further education. What happens? Are they shown the right path by the counselors present there? Obviously No. Infact, they are marketed some or the other course available at the coaching center.

Sir, an MBA today gives you the highest ROI, Says one of the ads at the center.

Cool! Maybe right, but what about the interest of the candidate? Just because the money here is good, a possible excellent scientist is sold off to become a mediocre manager.

"I think my son should do an M.Tech after engineering? He is very bright in his core subject." asks the parent (say Mr. Despondar) very curiously.

The counselor retaliates, "No, An M.tech even in the IITs do not offer you a great salary, sir", as if it is a sin to do an M.Tech.

"He should rather try for MS in the US."

That is because the counselor realizes that to pursue M.tech the student would have to prepare for GATE, an entrance exam for which they do not provide coaching. So she would be missing out on a possible student.

"Nah, that would be too expensive. I don't think I have the funds to send him to the US", exclaims the parent.

"Oh! That is okay. Then maybe he could consider CAT", the counselor replies, cleverly leaving out the information that CAT is for MBA, and not for any technical course.

The parent is now totally confused – M.Tech, GATE, MS, GRE and now this new bird called CAT. What the hell is this?

The counselor now starts off, "CAT is for an MBA in the IIMs, sir"

"They are like the best colleges in india, and gives you huge salary opportunities and opens up wide horizons... blah! Blah!"

This is because, the center offers training for CAT, and she would get a high commission on admitting a student for CAT.

After about half an hour of detailed brain washing and hard selling CAT, she manages to convince the parent that CAT is the best thing to have happened to them. The son, all this while has no say, and even now when Mr. Despondar is totally convinced, he gets no chance. Typical Indian middle class, where the parents try pushing all their dreams and decisions on their child – right from the choice of the colour of the bike, to the girl the child gets married to.

The parent pays the hefty fees of around 20k, emptying his hard earned bulging money bag, and walks out happily and satisfied. As if his son has already made it into the IIMs.

Now, the student – the son, who was actually interested in going ahead with technical studies, is forced to write CAT. There, the country loses one more potential scientist and there is born one more mismatch citizen who would always crib his life that he is not in a job he loves. Thanks to the coaching center.

The only mistake being – His dad ended up at an institute which offers CAT coaching and not GATE coaching. Similarly, many a students interested in MBA, end up writing GATE, thanks to TEA.

p.s.: More posts to continue regarding the same topic – Education at sale.

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed are personal and my own.

Talk @ Community meetings

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:54:00 +0000

About three more weeks at home and then am off. Off to the land of dreams – Mumbai (or so it is called!). The last three months here at home were amazing, and I had a wonderful time doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Staying at home compels you to attend so many of these weddings, family gatherings, community meetings, which given a chance you would not want to be even seen around. I have attended hordes of such gatherings, weddings, parties, etc... Which were not really in my liking? One of these was the community meet we had a couple of weeks back.

I have nothing specific against these so called social gatherings, and it is really good that people do come forward to meet up, socialize, and talk to each other. After all, this is what differentiates us – The Human race, from the rest of the animals – SOCIAL. (Hated it as a subject during school!)

I made up my mind that I would try to be as social as possible, and try striking conversations with anyone and everyone, trying to know more people. Thus fulfilling the very purpose of such meets – Socializing. After all, you are supposed to talk @ Community meetings, meant for talking.

The funny thing is the very amusing behavior of people around you, and their talks, and more importantly their topics of discussion. The whole community members can be classified into many categories and each category would converse with every other possible category, so doing the math gives a whole lot of permutations and combinations of talks. Here I would specifically like to comment on some types of conversations I overheard in that evening of ennui.

Hair Dye Talk

Two 40 something males, with one small kid in the hand, and running after a not so small kid, while the wife is busy cribbing about life to the fellow wives.

Mid aged uncle 1 (M1): Hey, have you been to habib's recently? (As if Habib's is the latest restaurant in town, and every normal human is expected to frequent it)

M2: yeah, was there for a haircut. (His hair looks even worse than what a normal roadside barber would do. Seems like he has gone to those barbers who sit on the pavements with one nice chair, and a mirror in hand.)

M1: Oh! Sad, the hair cut there is not so good (Laughing within himself, proclaiming his victory), you should have rather gone to "Toppers – The saloon" for that.

M1: The hair colouring at habib's is really good. (Now trying to show off his latest hair colour, which removes all doubt that we are evolutes of the monkey race).

M2: Oh! Really, that is so good. Your hair really looks nice, what colour is that? (Chuckling within himself, laughing at the colour choice)

M1: It is the latest one available, the latest trend (I am so sure he himself did not know about it).

You know how much it costs, a full 1200 bucks for a bottle. (Getting back to his bragging mode),

add another 500 bucks for this colour of the streak (trying to show his streak, after he realizes that M2 is not really impressed with the 1200 bucks)

M2: Hmmm!

M1: Also, an additional 500 bucks is the service fee there (Still trying to prove his point that it has costed him a bomb to get that hair),

but well, I know the guy there (Now trying to show his affluence),

so it got settled in 400 bucks itself. (A sense of victory!)

Call Center Talk

I then move on to a younger group, when one of my cousin signals a Hi, and invites me to join them My aim of being social led me to this group. A group of 20 something youngsters (My age group!), with one common factor binding them all – They all work at HSBC, the call center. So obviously all the talks revolve around the processes there, the work, colleagues and HSBC, HSBC, HSBC... So even there in that group I end up as a total misfit, and just remain a mute listener.

The thing with vizag is - there is only this one call center of repute and MNC settings - HSBC. All BCom, BBM and other graduates, who know they would not want to work for long (Family Business!), but at the same time want access to the latest and the best happening people in town, join HSBC. This pretty much includes more or less everyone, of this age, in our community (Sindhi's)!

One typical thing about all these 20 something youngsters was their dressing sense. Updated with the latest trends, the best brands, the "I don't care attitude", and the complete urban metro look. Too much money at too young age I guess. Just a look at their mobile phone models and their bikes (or cars!), makes you wonder how much are they paid!

The talk here would typically go off with process, bands, Telemarketing, outbound calls, inbound calls, US, UK, Lead generation, HR, Customer phone sales executive, PM, AMO.. and so many other terms that I could not understand. One interesting thing here in this group was – though they all worked in night shifts, and many of them never ever met in office due to different timings, different processes and all – everyone knew everyone. And one thing that they all loved doing – gossiping and bitching about their fellow colleagues.

A talk between two girls in that group –

Girl 1: Hey, know what? That guy Phani is going around with that bi*ch Sheetal.

Girl 2: What? Really (With an equally snobbish attitude, still trying to arrange her mascara and a flabbergasted look)

G1: yes, last heard they were found in the office restroom making out.

G2: My Gawd! Tell ya, she is a total bit^& and she is great in trapping innocent guys like Phani. Poor Phani.

G1: yeah, only til last month she was with yadav, and their relationship seemed so intense!

…. The talks go on, and they describe stuff, not recommended for this blog. (the parental control would get invoked!)

You don't need a degree in Astronomical physics to understand the happenings. Sometimes, this makes me wonder – should I have joined HSBC during these three long months. It could have got me into the most "happening" circuit of vizag. Many a things could have happened!

Real Estate Talk

Now coming to the third group of people and their talks.

If the previous group was busy talking about the virtual estate, here we have over sized, pot bellied and bald over aged men discussing the latest real estate trends in the city. It comprises of an elderly group of people, most of who are very much into their own businesses, and have developed this new found love for the spiraling real estate prices. Each one of them thinks themselves to be a master of their art, and without any gusto declare their proficiency in the field.

This group compulsorily consists of one rich Baniya businessman, who after spending all his life selling sweets and pakodas, has now entered the real estate business. A building there, a shopping complex here, and selling it off to people from the same community. So this is like an ideal place for him to market his products with complete alacrity free of cost. And also, most of the times hook in customers there and then.

The talk here is too boring and diplomatic, with it starting off with Diabetes and ways to avoid or control it. Then slowly drifting towards the current market scenario, and then the Baniya halwai shifts the discussion to the booming real estate and why everyone should invest in that. After setting up this base, starts the pitching of his properties and his construction sites.

Many more groups, and their varied talks – a complete book can be written on this topic.

Alas! Amongst all these different noises was a poor blogger, who felt so totally out place, and could do nothing else but just wander from one group to another. Wondering – "Why the hell am I here?"

Oh! By the way, I too got smitten for the maddening rush to acquire the personal facebook page id, and succumbed to it. My ID on facebook is http://www.facebook.com/bharatjhurani That adds one more web address. The others being

iBlog @       http://jbharat.blogspot.com
Linkedin:    http://www.facebook.com/bharatjhurani
Twitter:        http://twitter.com/bharatjhurani

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bharatjhurani

Bharat Jhurani Coaching Center: Attracting women

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 06:59:00 +0000

My holiday season still continues, and will be so for one long month. I am in Vizag since mid march and that implies more than 70 days here, with about 30 more to go. In spite of these 100 days of nothingness, I am sure; I have not regretted it a bit. These were like the best days I could ever have. Just sitting at home, doing nothing all day, and immersing in all the activities that I have always wanted to do. I am so sure, that these are the best days till date.

I and vamsi went to Hyderabad on Tuesday, to attend an engineering friends wedding there. It was awesome in Hyderabad, and we had a great time. My engineering friends, and then friends from L, got to meet them all, and spend some amazing time together. More about that, in detail, in the next post.

In these two months, I have seen many people trying different ways to impress on women, and try to make a mark to attract them. I am no love-guru, nor an expert in this arena, but I think it is time that I share my little something knowledge and experience with the young brigade.

Before I begin, try answering these questions - Why do women you see out at pubs sometimes dress so SEXY? Let's think about it from the woman's perspective: An attractive woman gets attention from men all the time, no matter WHAT she's wearing.

Attractive women don't have to "accent" their beauty in order to attract men. A perfectly beautiful woman gets expensive jewellery and the latest trendy outfit for herself after shopping all day. A tall, stunning model spends all day at the mall shopping for just the right high-heeled shoes. A naturally beautiful woman spends hours in front of the mirror getting ready to go out, and puts on tons of makeup. For what?

Could it possibly be worth all the extra time and effort, spending hours to get that "extra little bit" of beauty, when a woman already has "more than enough"? Well, whoever said, women makes sense! J

Maximize the chances

Let's imagine that an attractive woman is getting ready to go to a party. There are going to be a hundred men and a hundred women at this party. If there are going to be a hundred men at this party, it follows that a few of those men are going to be the "best" ones.

She wants the "best" one, obviously. And that guy sure has options, so she needs to "fix herself up". She just wants to increase her chances of getting that guy.

Competition

Attractive women tend to be very competitive, so she would try her best to gain an edge over others, such that as soon as she enters the party, the "top guys", who have options, glance at her and make a "mental note" to talk to her later. The other women give her, what we call, "the bitch look".

Attention and Approval

Now that we are aware of some of the reasons why women go to great lengths to make themselves look more beautiful, let's talk about the one reason that has the most value to you guys. This reason holds the secret of actually attracting beautiful women. ATTENTION and APPROVAL.

It just so happens that an attractive woman has a sub conscious – a very accurate indicator of whether or not "the group" likes and approves of her. It's the amount of ATTENTION she gets. If a woman is getting a lot of attention, it keeps her feeling "OK". She knows that on a deep, primal level when she's accepted by the group and that she's going to stay healthy and have a good chance.

But this particular concept has a dark side to it, like everything good? Just like anything else that triggers feelings/emotions (very addictive chemicals); attention and approval can lead to a literal addiction.

It's like money, fame, power… all the famous ones… one just can't get enough. If you're a beautiful woman who is always getting attention and approval from men and you meet a man who doesn't give you that attention and approval, it has an instant and powerful impact.

Thus, if you want to learn how to attract women, then you need to get a clue about what creates the idea in her mind that you are one of the most "desirable" men.

How can you do that?

Become rich and famous
Have those killer Hrithik look
Instigate an ATTRACTION inside of her.

The third one seems to be the easier one!!

Here's the interesting thing when you attract women: When you do it, she can't control it.

If you're interacting with an unusually attractive woman, it's very important that you don't communicate to her that you are overwhelmed by her beauty or that you can't control yourself. Furthermore, if you actively control the amount of attention that you give her, and you don't show her "approval" too quickly (and even show her some disapproval), you'll often create a powerful interest inside of her.

And why is this?

Well, think about it for a minute. Imagine a super hot walking down 10 Downing Street (the local pub). For the first two hours, you keep having guys walk up to her and say, "hi, you are looking good" and "Did we not meet in the last party", and "… ". Every guy that comes within ten feet of her can't stop looking at you, and the ones that talk to her make it clear that they would be willing to do anything for her.

Then she meets a guy (You) that isn't like any of these other guys at all.

You are clearly not impressed with her beauty, and do not care a damn. She can't tell if you like her or not, and thus feel challenged by you (girls are competitive). For some reason she can't explain, she starts getting a gut level attraction for you (Remember K3G, the super hot POOH exclaiming - "kaun hai yeh, jisne peeche mud kar mujhe nahi dekha.. Who is this??"

Now what does she do? That's right: She gives him all of her attention and approval… hoping that you will give her some in return. In other words, you switch from the one doing the pursuing to the one being pursued.

This is how you attract women. You become the pursued, which is an art form.

So, now you are all equipped with the artillery and are ready for the battle. I am so sure, you would return with all victory and conquest after your next visit to 10D.

Well, the only difference, there is a high probability that the victory and triumph would be for the opposite party, and you would be just left with atonement.

Well, if you ask an IIM guy, who coaches for CAT about tips to impress women, this is what you should expect right?? So, guys, stop reading this, and look for your own unique way to develop that panache and the flamboyance to attract women.

Else, you can just follow my path, and write CAT rather.

P.S.: While, we here are looking for trivial means to attract women, Sharad Yadav has a massive plan to do that, and threatens to even lay down his life for the cause of women.

(Article inspired from seduction-chronicles.net)

ZooZoo’istan

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Sun, 24 May 2009 11:01:00 +0000

Tonight after a battle for more than a month, the best team is about to be crowned. The IPL final is scheduled for tonight, and DC and RCB – the bottom two teams in the last season are battling out for the top honours. I am sure this would be some soothing news for SRK, and his KKR. They can expect to sweep the IPL, next year.

It was a wonderful 5 week odd thing, and a complete entertainer. The evening talk at the beach was totally filled with animated expressions of the previous day matches, and we even had to go to the extent of rescheduling our timings at the beach, depending on the IPL matches.

Who won, who lost? Who was the gainer, who was the loser? These are all cases for analysis by better cricket enthusiasts than myself, who just watches the match if there is no better thing on TV, or the remote control happens to be in my brother's control. Whoever wins tonight - The clear winner all along the way is - the ZOOZOO's. Yes, welcome to "ZOOZOOistan."

Vodafone has managed to come out with such fine simple ads, that these slim legged egg headed creatures have caught the imagination of the whole nation. Everywhere people are talking about this new mascot. Forty-four years after legendary filmmaker Satyajit Ray created the iconic dwarf Ang, which was adapted by Hollywood director Steven Spielberg as the E.T., India now has a new cult of queer beings - the Zoozoos.

In the first place - What is a zoozoo?

Zoo´zoo`

(Zool.) The wood pigeon.

This is the dictionary meaning.

Some find these cute characters similar to aliens, others say they are just cartoon characters while there is a huge majority who just does not know what to make out of it. Yet, the white, funny creatures have been invading us on the huge screens all through the IPL.

Vodafone has managed it again – last year's IPL saw HAPPY TO HELP, to promote their customer service, and this year the ZooZoo's to convey the value added services (VAS) offering in each of the commercials.

The best part being the many number of different ads being aired. About 30 odd ads are having been created so as to maintain the interest and create a spur. It's no mean feat to unleash so many commercials at a go, with the risk of consumers not grasping them as fast as the brand churns them out.

Media spends and visibility for brands peak during the IPL, so no doubt Vodafone obviously wanted a piece of the pie. Ogilvy – the ad agency behind these characters and ads, experimented with several characters and finally took its love for the term 'egghead' one step too far, creating characters that don the colour white (with black dots for eyes and a mouth), have heads resembling eggs, and disproportionately thin bodies. You egghead!

The idea was to tell the VAS stories in a world akin to, yet different, from humans. The creatures were then given a characterisation: they are to lead simple lives, speak a language of their own (something that sounds like gibberish), move in a certain way, and even emote like human beings, with big frowns or big grins to do the trick. The execution is almost like emoticons.

The naming of them as "the Zoozoos", has no science to it – the name is just something fun, memorable and catchy, and not a clever one that's difficult to pronounce.

Zoozoo trivia: Ironically, nowhere in the communication does the Zoozoo name pop up.

Making of the Zoozoo

As thought initially, No, they aren't animated characters. They are human beings who were made to wear body suits. The design of the characters is such that one gets fooled into thinking it is animation. It is 'live' animation!" The emails of the pictures of the people behind the masks have been doing rounds of late.

A fabric with wrinkles would have shown when the characters moved, thereby shattering the illusion of animation, so a more thicker fabric was chosen as it was more practical.

Zoozoo trivia: human head would typically reach up to the mouth level of this giant Zoozoo head.

The thin limbs, contrasted with big bellies and a bulbous head, all add to the illusion that these creatures are 'smaller' than humans. Sets were created to suit the size of the Zoozoos. Cinematically, this 'size' was a trick: the creatures look smaller than they actually are on screen, to portray a different world of sorts. For this, the speed of shooting was altered. They were shot on a high-speed format to make them look the size that they do.

Even in the digital world

In the digital space, Zoozoos are currently featured on a specially created microsite, where one can partake in quizzes and contests, including the 'What kind of Zoozoo are you?' quiz. Each Zoozoo has a unique set of characteristics and traits allotted to it. The microsite also allows for goodies to be downloaded (including wallpapers, screensavers and ringtones), and offers details on the IPL. With a specially created YouTube channel on the site, the TVCs are provided there for people to watch and share.

Apart from the microsite, a Zoozoo fan page has been created on Facebook, which has more than 220,807 fans (on Sunday, May 24, 2009 at 4:09PM. Dude, the number is increasing exponentially every day!), who have access to special tag-me images, Zoozoo sounds (such as Zoozoo laughter and music tracks) and ad previews.

The page creators are clearly facebook savvy. They have uploaded albums, shared links and even created innovative zoozoo type products based on popular trends on facebook. That ludicrous "tag your friends into this sheet of cartoons depicting personality stereotypes" craze for instance. They have created two (admittedly very cute) pictures various zoozoos depicting personality stereotypes for people to tag. Hats off. Not only are the page managers homing in on a popular trend on the social networking site, they are also pulling off a clever piece of viral marketing. Now as more and more people tag their friends on these pages, it would just increase the brand recall of the campaign.

People are also following Zoozoos on Twitter and get updates whenever new commercials go on air.

So, from the famous hutch pug, to zoozoo's now, Vodafone here has a complete winner.

Awards

The cannes and other advertising and marketing awards can wait. The zoozoo's have already earned its first award - People for Ethical Treatment for Animals (PETA) 2009 Glitterbox Award, for taking advantage of humane alternatives to the use of real animals in their ZooZoo ads.

The "Pug" commercial led to viewers purchasing pugs, and breeders cranking out as many puppies as they could. Later, when the appeal wore off, the dogs ended up in shelters or were abandoned. So you know what needs to be donw for the award:

Create an ad using animals and publicize them
Create your next ad again with the animals.
One more with the same animals..
Now create an ad, with equally random creatures but no animals.

While the zoozoo's are there busy creating a spur for Vodafone, there is this one guy who just can't keep out of trouble – Varun Gandhi. Even after winning the election, he realized he was not being talked about anymore, and there he is misbehaving with journalists.

King of Good Times

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Tue, 19 May 2009 19:04:00 +0000

Now I seriously think Mr. Mallya should be paying me some freelancing stipend. Not only have I contributed a lot of amount towards driving the sales up, now I am also publicizing it and its tagline. Well, Mr. mallya is a big man, and is the winner of the just concluded elections, so I don't want to pester him much. (Note to myself: I think I should still ask for the stipend!)

Yes, without even contesting the elections, this tagline of Kingfisher - King of Good times (that very well holds with its chief promoter) is the true winner. After the verdict declared on Saturday, everything good has been happening in the country.

I seriously hope SRK is wrong, when he says, "Hamari life bhi in picture ki tarah hoti hai.. Anth mein sab theek ho hi jata hai.. HAPPIES ENDINGS. Aur agar sab theek nahi, to picture.. Abhi baaki hai mere dost."(Our lives are so much like the movies. In the end everything is gotta get right... HAPPY ENDING. And if everything is not all right, the movie is still not done my friend!).

I don't want the movie to end; don't want it to all be over so abruptly. I know, everything is not all right still. There are still so many things that need to be mended. That is the best part of human lives and society, it is so fragmented and complex that it can never be all homogeneous anytime, and thus, the movie would never end!

Yeah, now what are these supposedly good things that have occurred – I have quit beer and have just joined a gym. (Great, that could be like the best thing to happen forever, but alas! It has not. Told you na, there are still a lot of things to be mended.

STABLE GOVERNMENT

I don't which party would be a better leader at the center. Whether L.K. Advani or Dr. manmohan Singh would make a better prime minister. If UPA is a better alliance than NDA (The third front and the fourth front would have been good supporters and bargainers). One thing is clear from the verdict – the government is stable, and there would not be unnecessary horse trading and constant threats to withdraw support. The Indian junta has shown its maturity by voting with complete responsibility and the UPA now has a lot to deliver. There could be no better situation than this, when the whole world is looking upon India and China in these times of recession.

Some obvious revelations:
Regional parties have been shown their place, national parties have regained their dominance
The results are a vote for stability and good governance
The results are a vote for "reforms" and the Congress-led UPA should, therefore, fast forward "reforms
The nation has rejected the "communalist" BJP

Jai HO!

The Sikkim Democratic Front (SDF) again sweeping the Assembly elections (they won all 32 seats this time, like the last time in 2004)? They are not likely to lose any seat even in 2014. The opposition (Congress) has no base and the party has no grassroots in Sikkim at all. The SDF will continue to retain power for atleast another 20 years surely. With Chamling at the helm, the SDF will continue to get support of the Sikkim people for more development of the state in all areas (Source: Varun's blog)

There is no power LEFT

The left have always been a pain in the road to development in this capitalistic society. By voting them out completely the Indian junta have shown that they would want to be a completely capitalistic society, and consumerism should be at its core. After all, the king of good times is something that the left hated completely. We can no more live in a society which says equality for all. Where would the entrepreneurial zeal come in from in such circumstances? The whole country would turn into a PSU where everyone knows that the promotion is a direct function of one's political contacts or the number of years put in, and the quality or amount of work has no say at all!

MARKET SENTIMENT IS UP

India's financial markets surged on the first working day after the results were out, with benchmark stock indices halted after hitting an initial 10% circuit limit, as a decisive mandate handed to the United Progressive Alliance in federal elections raised hopes of a stable government and progress on economic and market reforms. Morgan Stanley now expects the Sensex companies to post aggregate earnings growth of 2.5%, against its prior forecast of a 10% contraction, this fiscal year. It upped its Sensex target for 2009 to 15,300.

UPA's clean sweep win cheers the markets
The ruling Congress party wins the most since 1991
Trading on both the BSE and the NSE has been halted
Creates history; two upper circuits in one day
Extends its year-to-date gain to 48 per cent
Sensex +14,200 and the Nifty +4,300 first time after about eight months

Investor wealth soared by a whopping Rs four lakh crore within seconds of opening of trade. Now all this has given a new confidence to the retail investors and the common junta of the country. They would again start investing in the stock markets, like it was in the boom time till mid 2008. Also, the soaring of the wealth exponentially and the positive outlook given by most rating agencies and analysts would lift the moods still up. As my friend DN, a financial analyst in making, notes," Ya, it is a rally, but a sustainable rally. And yes...the fundamentals are not the same; the political risk has drastically decreased". Yes indeed, the political risk has decreased dramatically. Lalu could be a lot of pain in the ass otherwise.

LTTE chief dead

Now this is like a typical bollywood movie unfolding for the congress. First it's historic win since 1991, and then the chief accused for the assassination of its ex chief Rajiv Gandhi – husband of the current supremo, is shot dead. Prabhakaran's death signals the end of the nearly three decade-long civil-ethnic war that cost the island nation the lives of thousands of innocent civilians. Good news.

KKR finally wins without Divine intervention

Kolkata knight riders have been facing rough weather right from the beginning of the second season of IPL. Everything that could possible go wrong, did go wrong. First, the thing about the fakeiplplayer, and the tiffs within the team. The stand of having more than one captain for the season. The superover fiasco in the match against R Royals. Everything seems so bad, that it was seemingly apparent that KKR would break the record of DC of having the least number of points. (KKR had 3 til yesterday, while DC scored a dismal 4 points in IPL 1)

But, as the king of good times reigned, and it preferred helping KKR rather than its in house RC, Balaji blessed KKR with a victory.Belligerent half-centuries by Brendon McCullum and Brad Hodge took the Kolkata Knight Riders to a spectacular win against Chennai Super Kings. Know, it is not going to help KKR much, but now atleast the Bengalis can have their head up for their Dada, and also face the Deccanites competing in the lowest points category (The honour would still remain with Deccan!)

Well, the thing that KKR could finally win without any divine intervention has met flak with many religious people. Afterall, it was balaji who steered KKR to victory, and Balaji is the lord at the Tirupati abode. So there still is some divine intervention.

Now all of this ofcourse spells out good news all over the media, and I hope this spell continues for a long time to come.

The Biggest Reality Show – Elections 2009

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Fri, 15 May 2009 07:34:00 +0000

I sometimes wonder why the IPL is so famous, and what is the core reason for its success in becoming such a big brand with the first edition itself? It spurred "marriage between Bollywood and cricket", now add politics to it and it becomes a bigger brand, and it would continue to draw more crowds.

Trivia: Dhoni's brother has joined politics, if you are searching for a recent link to politics and cricket.

Why? The Indian Junta is crazy only about these three – Movies, Cricket and politics. Mix them and you have a bestseller (idea for my 4^th book!). So in such terms, this summer was perfect to lift up the spirits of the common Indian with a lot of entertainment available on news itself. The IPL, and the Indian Elections – Perfect match. Attempts to mix these two were futile, as each was worried about the others rising popularity, so much that the politicians or the authority concerned drove out the IPL to South Africa to set the stage free for the politicos.

The irony here is that elections itself were blatantly given as the reason for shoving IPL off, and along with it, its revenue, to South Africa. The Slap on the back came when people realized that South Africa also was having their own elections, but was more than enthusiastic to accommodate IPL. (Why should it be called Indian PL anymore?). Considering the Security agencies incompetency, it would be no surprise if the 2015 republic day parade and the hoisting of the Indian Flag ceremony (is it allowed?) was held in London.

Now getting to the elections 2009 – they have been very well timed, and have given lots of fun and fodder for talk during the past two months. The last two months were like the most jobless period I have ever been in, and thanks to IPL and Elections, I was not really very bored.

This election was no less than a war, albeit in a different way than the neighboring Sri Lankans. The elections seemed like a full fledged movie, and I am sure there is a potential for at least a reality show on prime time covering all the politicos. Action, Drama, Emotions, Comedy, and loads of trauma are perfectly juxtaposed to give out the correct masala for the "breaking" news.

Of course, the climax is still awaited and I am sure my brother is waiting even more for that coveted date – may 16^th. It is his birthday, and last year he was gifted a sony Digicam. So, his anxiousness is justified.

Now a complete summary of the happenings in the movie till now, like they say – "Ab tak, Kahani… mein ……"

It all started off with the big weights – BJP and Congress. Advani's blog, and subsequent online foray by everyone worth his salt, wrote a complete new chapter in the way a party or its candidate be promoted.

The UPA faced its first confidence vote in the Lok Sabha, after the CPI (M) led Left Front withdrew support over India approaching the IAEA for the Indo-US civilian nuclear agreement. UPA won with a 19 vote record victory. The government winning the vote of confidence proved crucial, since this allowed Manmohan Singh, to finish his full term.

The split of the communists from the ruling party led to considerable fourth estate space, with speculations rife if the government would stay or fall. However, the septuagarian Advani ji had long plans in hand and wanted to be in competition with complete preparation.

Then, the inflation, which shook all the parties and everyone, made people forget about the nuclear deal, as this was hitting their pockets. All parties joined hands to control and also started blaming each other. The UPA had so many divine interventions, that sometimes it makes one wonder – were these events orchestrated by UPA itself? Inflation, Stock market sliding, Mumbai attacks, Malegaon …

The soon to retire N Gopalaswami, chief election officer wanted to achieve some place in history, and so he announced the polling dates in five phases for the 15th Lok Sabha all over the country.

The competition was tight - UPA vs. NDA. Manmohan Singh vs. L.K. Advani

Now the stage was set, the actors ready, and thus began the biggest reality show in India. The actors wanted to play it independently and the UPA was again disintegrated back to congress with very few alliances left with them. Same thing happened with NDA, leaving BJP alone.

The biggest hit was in Andhra Pradesh (My Home State), when Mega Star Chiranjeevi launched his own party Praja Rajyam Party without joining any of the existing party. The veteran acting schools – Congress and TDP were shaken, as Chiru commanded a huge popularity and history could be repeated. (NTR, founder of TDP, entered politics in 1984 when his popularity as an actor was at its peak. The elections was a landslide victory for TDP then)

Now, the split acting schools had to form something common to brave the behemoths called BJP and Congress, so they formed the third front, with JD chief Deve Gowda gathering all parties and waking up the third front - AIADMK, PMK, CPI, CPM, TDP, RSP, Forward block, JDS, TRS, BSP…

Behenji, the popular Mayawati of UP (My state of residence for two years), was rising in charts. It was rumored that she wanted to be the PM candidate, for the third front. This rumor was later calmed with the pretext that it would be discusses later after results. (It is common knowledge that that the decision would have resulted that the party with highest seats would have the PM post, the next highest could get Home, and so on...)

Now, if Andhra and UP were making such marches could Maharashtra be left far? NCP lead by Sharad Pawar, joined BJD to contest. BJD is now a part of Fourth Front. One more front? Fourth Front is the combination of Lalu Prasad Yadav, Mulayam Singh, Ram Vilas Paswan, Amar Singh. Add Sanjay Dutt, the General Secretary for the Samajwadi Party, who met with PRP leader Chiranjeevi, and now they too are part of the Fourth Front, more popular as Yadav Front. Now these people know that they themselves probably can't form the government, but they would form a vital support for the ruling alliance.

Yeah, my watchman is contemplating forming the 1428^th front.

Now after all the five phases of the polling are completed, and the verdict is still awaited, most of the leaders are out holidaying. They know, it would be hard core business again from tomorrow once the results are declared. Buying MPs, forging alliances, setting up people and negotiating, giving up HOME for CM, and also creation of new posts like Chairperson would be the talk in the newspapers from tomorrow.

Now during this run up to the actual polling there have quite a lot of controversies and entertaining scenes. Before we reach to the last episode of this reality show series, let us go back to the famous scenes and episodes which created lots of TRP for the series.

Jaago Re Campaign: For the first time, a lot of media was dedicated to the task of getting people realize the importance of voting. Complete Media campaigns from TATA tea, Dharma productions, and various organizations really created a stir. In Spite of many famous people showing their middle finger, there was an abysmal turnout in many constituencies. Mumbai was around 45%, Lucknow 35%…

Varun Gandhi: He was one person, who would go down in the history of Pilibhit. No MP from that place could get this much publicity to this constituency that he has brought. Pilibhit has now entered the common parlance of people, and it is identified as well as Hyderabad. All thanks to Varun, and his speeches. Of course, the Muslims are all still afraid of his party.

Black Money: We have heard about swiss bank, and seen it in movies. Swiss bank had such a glamour quotient that having an account there implied that the person has arrived in life. Well, no more. Advaniji probably realized that Swiss bank was offering too low an interest rate, and it is better to park his money elsewhere. So he vowed that he would get all the money back from the bank, to be disbursed in india.

Election Commissioner Imbroglio: N. Gopalaswami, the chief election commissioner, recommended to the President of India Pratibha Patil that Navin Chawla be sacked for behaving in a partisan manner.

This recommendation in itself was controversial, as it was unclear if the Chief Election Commissioner has the legal and constitutional right to provide such a unilateral recommendation. As expected, Chawla refused to resign as he was expected to take over the post of Chief Election Commissioner a few months later. (Eventually, he was not sacked and went on to become the next election commissioner after Gopalaswami)

The above controversy also resulted in speculation that the Election Commission was unable to agree on the polling dates, with the incumbent CEC Gopalaswami preferring that at least one phase of elections be held before his retirement. Navin Chawla, on the other hand, wanted the election to only start after Gopalaswami retired.

So, for the first time in the history of Indian politics, two different people oversaw different phases of the same election.

Jaya Prada porno cds: Jaya Prada, the SP candidate from Rampur, accused another SP leader Azam Khan of circulating material to sully her image. JayaPrada claims that Azam Khan is like her elder brother, but is sullying her image by involving in cheap campaigning. CDs and posters were released to scandalize her image. There were even reports quoting Amar Singh that Jaya Prada may commit suicide if she lost the elections.

Well, now this is some nice entertainment for Rampur inhabitants. A lot more people would be sure wishing that Azam was in their constituency or maybe, at least he should have been web savvy to circulate the content online. Also, would have been better if some other better looking younger female was contesting from Rampur.

Shoe Throwing: Indians admire everything American, and they have shown it again by aping the treatment meted out to former US president Bush. There have been many cases of shoe flinging at the politicos in the recent past. "If it fits, throw it" seems to be the mantra. Now you know why bata stocks are rising?

Some questions of thought here - Why can't journalists aim better? What happens to the shoe after the show? Should shoe hurling will become a required subject at journalism schools?

First off the mark here was local reporter Jarnail Singh, who got into a heated exchange with Home Minister P Chidambaram this month. At the height of the heated discussions, Sikh launched his size 9 Reebok sneaker at the minister, who was standing five feet away. His questions were on target, but his shoe was not. The Shiromani Akali Dal, offered Singh a $4,000 reward and several people pushed for an auction so they could acquire the offending item.

Singh was quoted saying, "Hurling was a not-for-profit activity aimed at making a point. And anyway, the police who grabbed it for evidence still haven't given it back". So now, the police are treasuring the shoe, should get it from the will sure fetch a decent price at crosby's.

A few days later, a 64-year-old retired school principal threw a shoe at popular Congress Party lawmaker Naveen Jindal during an election rally. The principal, again a Singh, said the shoe was more aimed at the Indian political system – needless to say, it did not hit any of the target.

Now Mr. Advani realized, he is losing his importance, and needs to do something. He probably planted someone, and got flunged upon by a slipper by a member of his own party angry at being pushed out of a leadership position.

Even the Chinese were not spared, when protesters threw shoes at the Chinese Embassy in New Delhi after Beijing sentenced to death two Tibetans for their role in March 2008 riots in Lhasa.

The authorities are now contemplating not allowing any footwear for the cricket matches, to be secure. So till now, Cricket was only considered a religion, now on the grounds would be held as a holy place too ala temples.

These were some of the noteworthy incidents that happened during the last couple of election months. I am sure there are many more, and would appreciate if they could be discussed out further.

Marketing a TV series online

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Sat, 09 May 2009 11:12:00 +0000

It is about 50 days that am here in Vizag, and am proud to announce that have done nothing substantial. Yeah, have started taking up classes at T.I.M.E. for one week now. This was good time spent in catching up with friends on the latest media – TV Series and movies. I never ever in L felt the urge to watch any TV series during my stint at L. Moreover seeing my friends getting totally hooked on to it, I decided on purpose that I would be away from them.

This would be quite surprising to know, but in the whole of my two years at L, when people complete the TOP 250 at IMDB, are up to date with the latest seasons of all TV series and also pick up an interest in EPL and stuff, I managed to stay away from most. I just saw HEROES season 1 completely and two and a half men Season 1 to some extent. I was thankfully smart enough to load them all up in the 1TB hard disk with the vision that I would see them some day.

Never thought that someday would be so soon. Now that I am home and completely jobless I have started my romance with these TV series, and dude! They are so addictive. I don't feel like sleeping till the wee hours of morning, just in the pursuit of completing up "one more" episode of HIMYM. I am again proud to announce that I have completed five times more seasons in these 50 days than my 2 years there at L.

Well, now getting to the core. What intrigued me the most of these English TV series, other than the fact that they are a good time pass, is the level of marketing and viewer engagement that these people get into these Shows?

Brad Pitt was dating Jennifer Aniston, so get him to an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
It is thanksgiving time, so celebrate this in the show.
Blackout in the US, so make a complete episode out of it.

Well, these things even the Hindi TV series probably do. What they miss out on the most is creating the characters in such a way, that people actually start believing that they are real people. The case in hand that I would be detailing in this post is HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

Before starting off, this sitcom (situational Comedy) is about Ted, in the year 2030 recounts to his son and daughter the events that led to his meeting their mother, which explains the title and allows for a narration in the past tense. How I Met Your Mother's other main characters are Marshall, Robin, Lily and the LEGENDARY Barney.

Some of the main points that really impressed me about the involvement level created by the marketing team are:

The Bro Code, stated by Barney many times throughout the series, is a set of written rules for bros to follow, and has been published as a tie-in novel and also an audiobook. Now this is going really far. Actually sensing a market for a book of rules that are just passed off as dialogues in the series is excellent.
Throughout the series Barney makes references to his blog. CBS hosts and updates an online copy of Barney's Blog online. Actually having a blog on the characters reference, and also updating it would make the viewer completely involved with the AWESOME character.
There is this one episode when Barney is referred to as Swarley. Barney towards the end tries to pretend he loves his new name to avoid being called Swarley again. Though it is not shown in the episode, there is a website called Swarley.com about it.
In one of the episodes it is revealed that one of Barney's former one-night-stands, whom he told that his name was Ted Mosby (in Ted Mosby: Architect), created a website denouncing him called TedMosbyIsAJerk.com. Actually designing such a website is great.
A website made by Victoria as a response to, called TedMosbyIsNOTaJerk.com also exists. This one is not an official site, and there it shows it all. The fans have become so loyal and they actually want to follow the makers and leave no stone unturned.
Marshall and Lily are married and there exists a website with videos and pictures of Marshall's and Lily's honeymoon, never showed on the show.
A complete website of Ted's "mysterious" identity when he was in college, as seen in one of the episodes is also hosted.
Barney's Video Resume: The most popular of all, this video has actually been making rounds online. In one of the episodes Barney reveals that he has created an online video resume at BarneysVideoResume.com and the makers took the pain of actually creating one, and a very funny one for that.
Also there is a page on myspace for the show as well all the individual actors.

I wonder when Indian Television will rise to make such Series that become a cult in themselves. When will Indian TV dole out series which can actually be sold on DVD as seasons and have buyers. I can only remember Sarabhai vs Sarabhai to have reached to some extent of popularity to actually have reruns and reruns and even be sold on DVD, and shown on in flight entertainment systems. Well, sooner or later they would catch up am sure.

The corporate have caught up to some extent in harnessing the internet to spread their brand message further. AIRTEL recently came up with an interactive site impatient tones.com to involve its users. It is also running a promotional campaign to promote impatience theme and is asking the consumers to come up with a version of a 30 second video or a 30 word story on the most boring movie ever seen, and be declared as the next featured impatient one. This is to promote their impatient theme for the airtel broadband that recently launched internet at the speed of 16MBPS.

Now I am off to catch up with the rest of the episodes of HIMYM, while you can chill watching these funny animated spoofs on popular hindi movies.

http://airtel.impatientones.com/devdas.swf

http://airtel.impatientones.com/mughalai-azam.swf

ONLINE CAT - Issues and Concerns

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Wed, 06 May 2009 10:04:00 +0000

It is said, that a person should give back to society what he has attained. I have not earned lots of money, to donate to charity but yes, I think this city has given me the pedestal to rise to be in an IIM. So I think it is my duty to give it back, by teaching the younger generations. Also, this would help me to pass time and be in touch with the collegians of today, thereby being abreast of the latest happenings.

Thus, I have started taking classes at T.I.M.E. – A coaching institute for MBA/ MCA entrance examinations.

In this regard, many students keep asking me about the possible effects of the CAT going online from this year, and how it would impact them. I thought, I should be taking this opportunity, and also enlighten my readers of the possible changes and how it should be handled, as I am sure many of you there are CAT aspirants waiting to nail CAT'09.

So far the information doled out by the IIMs,

Confirmation that CAT is becoming a computer-based test from 2009 (CBT CAT)
Prometric ETS has been awarded the contract for conducting the test
CAT 2009 will be conducted over 10 days at the end of 2009
More details will be communicated along with the advertisement (this is typically released in July)
According to IIM-B admission chairperson Subhashish Gupta, CAT 2009 is unlikely to be computer adaptive
Most likely there will be three tests a day over 10 days -- meaning a total of 30 different tests. (source : Rediff.com)

CAT 09 is very unlikely to be computer adaptive (that is the system adapts itself to the test takers according to their intelligence. If you answer a question right, the next question would be more tough and of more marks, and if you answer a question wrong the next question would be a slightly easy one). Making it Computer adaptive would not be feasible right now, as I don't think the IIMs would have the repository of the correct answers and the wrong answers attempted by CAT takers all these years. So deciding if a particular problem is difficult or easy would be purely based on the judgment of the CAT question paper setter.

One more issue lingering in the minds of the aspirants – is it not unfair, that I may get slightly difficult questions and my competitor might get easier ones? Well, very possible. But realize that no question is easy or difficult. It is only our preparation that determines that. Also, IIMs would ensure a fair competition and would set questions from different set of question banks dependant on the difficulty level or the time taken to solve it. Of course, there would be people cribbing that wish I had the paper given by someone else. Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side.

How are the IIMs going to compare or normalize the scores across various tests?

While the information has not been made public, we can extrapolate from the manner in which they compare scores for past academics for CAT aspirants.

If the IIMs decide on non-adaptive testing, they would be expected to normalise the scores across different papers using statistical distribution of scores for each test. A basic example would assume that the scores follow a bell curve. Then, the performance of students would be measured by how they have performed compared to the average performance.

If the IIMs decide on computer-adaptive testing, then each question will have a difficulty rating. A student will face a moderately difficult question first. Based on whether he gets it right or wrong, the level of difficulty will go up or down. There will be an algorithm that will generate the scores. (Source: Rediff.com)

A student very innocently asked, do I require any extra computer skills to attempt this exam? NO. It is just a question paper which comes on the computer screen. So if you know how to operate your cell phone, operating the graphics on the computer would not be tough at all. Moreover, I am sure the coaching institutes would have sufficient material and arrangements to give you practice. Also, the IIMs would ensure that you first take a practice test on their system before jumping into attempting the actual questions. Yes, it would help to practice reading on the computer screen, which is quite tiring.

About being able to do rough work, this I think is the biggest disadvantage of taking CAT online. The second one being reading huge comprehension passages online. For rough work, I loved doing it just next to the question on the question paper itself. Now as that would not be possible, IIMs would decide to give you rough sheets or maybe create special scribbling space on the computer screen like in GMAT.

Is there any change in strategy required? I would say, not really. Right now, it is more important that you prepare the normal way and stop speculating. Get your fundamentals right, and get trained for the three sections which sure are not going to change. There is no clarity if the entire question paper would be given at once online, or would it be question after question. Also, there is no clarity if one can return back to an unanswered question. So there is no point thinking about it, and rather follow and make up your strategy of selecting questions and answering them. Sure, if anything changes, you would have to dump the strategy later. Of course, start practicing reading comprehensions and content on the computer screen to increase speed.

These are some issues that could be discussed with the information in hand presently. Any more discussion would just lead to speculation and unnecessary wastage of time. So it is recommended that you rather concentrate on building up the fundamentals and ground knowledge. It could be adapted to whatever technology and form required. Yes, this year's CAT would be an unfair disadvantage to those who have been writing it for many years, as they must have gained considerable knowledge and built up enough strategies to attempt CAT like in the previous format. It would be a fresh start for them all over again.

Content in this article is inspired from an article in rediff.com, and due credit has been given wherever it has been quoted verbatim.

SRK may dump KKR

noreply@blogger.com (BRAT) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 05:29:00 +0000

Well there have been talks of Shah Rukh Khan dumping the letter Kolkata from his team name – Kolkata knight riders, but dumping the team in its enterity – that no one expected.

According to a news article in Business Standard,

After dropping "Kolkata" from Indian Premier League team (IPL) Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR), actor Shah Rukh Khan has started discussions with Nokia, Sahara, the Anil Ambani group, and several other companies to sell the team he bought just over a year ago for Rs 300 crore, and exit the business.

Shah Rukh could have easily sold a stake in the team, but that would come at the cost of sacrifice of part management control. Well, did not expect this romance to end so soon – afterall Shah Rukh's team garnered the highest profit last year (only one of the two profit making team, the other being the champions RR)

Now what could be the reason behind this motive?

TIME – It does take a lot of time on Shah Rukh's part to keep the team running, and everyone knows how much money he would be making if this time is spent on making films and ads.

PERFORMANCE – The sad performance of the team in this edition, and the final nail in the coffin being the loss with RCB – the clash of the titans, battle for the last position.

MONEY – Selling off the team right now, for the next edition, and if no fresh teams are issued would lead to huge valuations and thus a very high ROI in a short span.

HASSLES – the frequent tiffs with the Kolkata municipal corporation, Kolkata police and this new issue with the Fake IPL Blog.

Whatever be the reason – KKR was associated with SRK, and had developed a brand identity with King Khan. It would be interesting to see how the team develops after SRK, well that is if it happens!