In his presence

New Years Eve

2013-12-31T15:33:00.000-08:00

A Reflection on this year

Wow, how fast time really does fly. Looking back at what I have accomplished this year as opposed to other years is somewhat of a downer. My main accomplishment of obtaining my Master's Degree is the best thing that happened. Well, that's a start.

Technology is certainly taking over today's world. I can sit down at my computer and pretty much learn anything I want to, talk to anyone I want to, or be obnoxious on newsfeeds just because no one knows who I am. (I don't do that, but a lot of people do) My daughter even completes her high school education sitting around the house in her own time. Technology is ruining how people interact with one another. What ever happened to being polite and speaking to people. When I walk through the halls at work people will literally look down as they walk past so they do not have to say hello or God forbid smile. People no longer have the simple manners that used to be common.

In this next year I hope to build on the principle of getting back to community and family, back to the basics of respect and not being rude to others. I will be starting another blog as well due to my completion of education. I will have a business blog of educational materials to help transform people into who they wish to become.

It was nice having this little "tester blog", but goodbye for good.

I wish everyone who has ever read this or will ever read this to have a great year in 2014! Let the games begin!

Frugal at it's best!

2013-12-29T11:26:00.001-08:00

Trying Something New

I used to be a lot more frugal than I am right now. My downfall is eating out. This will change within the next year. I have never been one to pay full price for any clothes. I wait until they go on sale or I shop at the thrift stores. Kohl's has some great coupons they send me every month to use if I purchase the items on my charge card. I have been taking advantage of these savings a lot in the past couple of years (I always pay the balance on my card when it comes due or it would be worthless to charge it). When I moved into the town I live now there were 3 thrift stores, but 2 of them closed so we just had a Goodwill until they opened up a St. Francis during the summer. I will be going there more frequently now since they have here.

My daughter got a gift card for Forever 21 from her brother for Christmas, so Friday night we ventured out to the mall to go shopping. I found a pair of boots that I really liked. They were on sale for over half off at a price of $14.99 so I tried them on. I noticed there were a couple spots on them that were a little damaged, but not very noticeable. I was thinking in my mind about reading how some stores will give you a discount on damaged merchandise if you ask them. So, I went up to the girl putting out more boots and asked her if they had another pair. She told me those were the last pair. I asked her if they would be willing to take off some more off of the price because they were damaged. She told me 15%. I gave a strange look and showed her the actual damage (which is on the inside of the boot that no one will see unless I point it out) and then she told me that they would give me 50% off the sale price. Out the door with a brand new pair of boots for less than $8! It does pay to try something different! I am posting a picture of the boots below.

I used to wear high heels all of the time until I started a job where I have to walk a lot so these are going to need to be broken in and gotten used to before I wear them anywhere. Hmmm... New Years...

A New Year is near

2013-12-26T18:56:00.001-08:00

2013 Accomplishments

This is the time of year I like to look back and reflect on what I have done and what I plan to do next year. I have never really done the "new years resolution" thing, but it is fun to do some reflecting. If you look at my Facebook timeline my accomplishments that are listed seem to need some improvement.....Well, by accomplishments I like to look at things I've never done before. So, here goes my own list:

I graduated with my Masters of Science in Human Services.
I have led our women's meeting at church once and co-led another time. (Our women's meeting is only once a month and I have not been able to attend most of them, so I plan on helping out more this coming year.
I visited Port St. Lucie, Florida for the first time.
I have began speaking more at my church services.
For the first time ever I purchased a brand new car. (This is because I was having so many problems with my other car, I just could not keep my old car any longer.)

Not much going on this year, right? Well, I am happy to say that my school took up most of my time this year. My goals for 2014 include:

Working out more (I recently purchased gym memberships for me and my daughter since we get no physical activity whatsoever)
Keeping up on my daughter's online schooling to make sure she keeps on track.
Reading my Bible EVERY day.
Start looking for ways to save more money.
Start looking for another job.
Start looking at ways to improve my home (on a budget).
I would really like to be able save a couple thousand dollars, I need a new washer and dryer and then would like to have some more money in our savings.

This is a big list, I need to get busy and stay on track.

Happy New Year to all, I hope this New Year is the best ever for each and every one of you.

Blessings,

Tina

Duck Commander controversy

2013-12-23T16:30:00.000-08:00

Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty has been blasted by the media this week. His remarks have stirred up so much controversy that it feels like we are back in high school. The Facebook news feeds are nothing but people arguing over whether or not he should be allowed to speak what he believes or if he should keep his mouth shut.

A couple things I have realized from this situation:

All sins are equal (NO MATTER WHAT)
People will argue over ANYTHING

Everyone sins and no sin is any different than another. The thing with homosexuality is that once you have either chosen or accepted (not sure because it has never been proven) to entertain this lifestyle you are continuously living in sin because you would not be repenting. Same goes if you are living together out of wedlock, or having sex out of wedlock. Until you can repent, you cannot be moving toward a closer relationship with Jesus. This is also true for addictions.

It seems like within my church the "big" sins are drinking, drug abuse and homosexuality. What I mean by "big" sins is that when our pastor discusses sin, those three are the ones he usually refers to. Does he think that any of those are worse than having a lustful thought? I don't know. Maybe.

As for me, I sit here and question whether or not two Christians could ever have the same exact thoughts and interpretations of the Bible. I really don't think it is possible. If you think your views on everything in the Bible are the exact same as someone else's I think you need to read the Bible from beginning to end and discuss each verse to see what comes up. The more I learn about the Bible, the more I question how each person interprets it.

As far as people arguing over ANYTHING, I cannot read a news story online without the people in the news feed below it arguing among one another. There is always someone with a different point of view who is willing to get everyone hyped up to argue. This seems to be society's way of speaking up but not doing anything to change things. For example: an article I read today discussed a girl that got arrested for prostitution who was pregnant and admitted she was also a drug user. There were some sensible arguments on the news feed. One girl stated a fact: some girls become prostitutes as a part of sex trafficking. Girls are literally forced to get addicted to drugs and become prostitutes. I can only hope that the girl that made this sensible argument is helping the OASIS house in our area that helps girls who are victims of sex-trafficking. The others were saying how trashy the girl is for getting pregnant and being addicted to drugs. Others were identifying with the addiction and feeling sorry for the girl.

Until this society stops and thinks about solutions to problems before starting more problems by arguing this world will be just what the Devil wants it to be. Christians should reach out to others, show love and compassion for others and watch their words carefully.

Never stop learning

2013-11-11T07:40:00.000-08:00

While I am sitting in a hotel in San Antonio, TX I am thinking about how this week went. I am here because I attended the National Council on Family Relations yearly conference. It is just me, all by my lonesome. I have had a hard year as you would notice by the date of my last post. My life changed in April of this year (but I will discuss that in a later blog), I just needed to get away for awhile by myself to regroup. So, I saw this conference and thought about it, not knowing it was here in San Antonio. Then one day I was watching CBS this morning and they did a story on San Antonio. I thought 'wow, I would really like to visit there some day!'. When I looked at the conference website again I realized the conference was in San Antonio, so I had to go.

A little background information:

Yes, I am finishing my Master's Degree this year, but I am a total nerd when it comes to conferences. I go to learn. When I worked for the county people would sign up to go to the conference just to get out of working and have some free time. I was the one that would go to every session, sit up front with notepad in hand. I also went to a conference on money a couple years in a row. I went to a few safety conferences as well. At each conference I signed up for things that I want to know more about. This NCFR conference was no different. My husband mentioned that maybe he should come but I shot him down quickly by telling him that I had scheduled sessions from 7:00 am until 10:00 pm, so we would not have any time together. I booked my schedule full!

The conference experience:

I was dropped off at the airport on Tuesday morning around 5:00 am by my husband. I was so excited to get to my conference I barely pecked him on the lips and never once looked back. On the first flight I was stuck in the back row, but there was no one sharing the row with me, so I was comfortable. On the second flight I was up in the front, it was a longer flight so I decided to try to get some sleep. What a mistake that was: I kept dreaming and waking up, then I would wonder if I had been snoring. I was so happy to get off that plane. I had to wait a while for the shuttle so I rearranged my luggage by placing my laptop into my large suitcase, that helped a little bit.

I finally made it to the hotel: the Grand Hyatt San Antonio. I was wondering if they would give me a hassle about trying to check in early, but they didn't. I came up to my room and unpacked, then went looking for something to eat. I had not eaten anything that day except for the little cookies they give you on the plane. I decided I would eat lunch at Ruth's Chris Steak House. I don't know if it was because I was so hungry or not, but that meal was by far the best meal I had all week.

When I got done, I came up to the room and thought I would take a little nap and then go out exploring for a few hours. When I woke up from my nap I had a horrible headache and I could feel a cold coming on. Keep in mind I went to sleep between 1:00 pm and 2:00 pm. I slept all the way through to Wednesday morning. I certainly needed to sleep, so I thought.

The first day of the conference I went to the first three scheduled sessions but then I felt like I was going to pass out. The third session fed us lunch, so that was good. I took a break up in my room and then proceeded to attend the big session (there is a proper word for it, but I do not want to misspell it) and then I was done for the day. I can't even remember if I ate dinner...oh wait, I bought a turkey sandwich, chips, Coke Zero and Starburst from the little place inside the hotel. I went up to my room, ate and fell asleep. The next morning I was supposed to have an early session but I felt horrible when I woke up. I didn't think I would be able to stand long enough to take a shower so I took a bath, took my time getting ready and went to a few sessions later that morning.

I don't want to bore you with every single detail of my 6 days in San Antonio, but they were all pretty much like the first couple days. I struggled to get through the days because I did not feel well at all. In the midst of not feeling well I was able to see the Alamo, do a little shopping and go on the riverboat tour.

A few pictures of the Alamo

Highlights of the Conference

I had two favorite sessions I attended: One was a lawyer that spoke on the harmful effects of media on children. The other was a leadership workshop.

Even though those were my two favorite sessions, I had days filled with learning opportunities I could not have found anywhere else.

I love to learn and I hope that I never stop learning. Even when I went to the Alamo it was a learning experience. I pray that I always find joy in learning about everything life has to offer.

What if??

2013-03-03T18:05:00.001-08:00

It's been along time since I've posted on here. I have been super busy. I just finished an 8 week online course, getting ready to start another one tomorrow, trying to attend a Monday night Bible study at my old church, and having a real hard time with my daughter. I know that I try to take on way too much than I can handle, but I can't stop. UGH! This blog is one of those things, but I am going to finish everything that I start from now on. No matter how bad I want to give up on my daughter right now, I must find a way to get along with her.
How can a parent love an unlovable child? I need to find that out. She has hurt my feelings by telling me that just because we are blood related, we are not family. How did I deal with that? I didn't talk to her for a week. Was that healthy? No. I actually was online looking up Military schools for girls, but realizing they cost more per year than I make in a year, I gave up on that. We cannot talk without arguing. Today I was trying to teach her a life lesson about being happy with what you have, but it went nowhere. She acts like she is the most neglected child in the entire world. She told me that every kid wants more than what they have (which I agree, our entire society is like this and I remember wanting more as a child). Then she told me "you can't change that". That got me thinking.... What if I could change that? How would I start? Kids are made fun of if they don't have the right clothes, the right brand. How about going to the school board and see if I can propose school uniforms? It would be a start. At least the pressure would be off of them at school. When we are trying to live as a Christian people can see our faith in how we act and what we do. I have never really cared about name brands so it is no sacrifice to me to not buy name brands because I don't already. However, I can give up some stuff. What are your thoughts? How are girls in particular persuaded by peers, the media, and society in general?

My journey through The Resolution for Women (It's good to be a girl)

2013-01-23T17:10:00.000-08:00

There are so many struggles that go through my mind about being a "Godly woman". People that know me, know that I am Christian, I do not hide it at all. If people even mention church I ask them where they go while engaging them in a deeper conversation. I am confident that I am a "Godly woman", but then things enter my mind; things about my past, things I should not think, things that I say that I should not have said.
1) Choose one of the many roles you currently play in your life, and record for each one how you are... (I am choose my career, a health care representative/patient advocate)

a) good for it. I am good for it because I am able to meet people who are struggling with sometimes life threatening conditions, or family members who are struggling. I am able to pray with them and for them while advocate on their behalf to obtain the benefits they need to help control their health care.
b) necessary to it. I am a nurturing person, I am patient and never talk down to my patients or their families. I take my job very seriously and I do whatever it takes to make sure my patients get what they need.
c) an important component of it. If it were not for my position, my patients or their family members would be left to fill out tons of forms, go through all kinds of government red tape without the proper knowledge I have of the system. I am able to work with the care coordinators and social workers in getting the patients discharged to somewhere safe for the patient.
d) worthy to be a part of it. As a woman I have an instinct to want to help people (not saying that every woman has that instinct, but I think most Christian women do). I am very worthy of being a part of my patients care and decisions.
e) trustworthy to fulfill your role. I have a very strong work ethic. I get paid salary, but many days I stay late, bring home work, and even go in on the weekend if need be in order to get things done for my patients.

2) In what situations and around which people do you find the biblical value of womanhood most challenged and questioned. Most definitely when dealing with my daughter. She wants nothing to do with Biblical values, so trying to teach her to live biblical is a major feat.

3) (how convenient...) How do you raise daughters to be ambitious, educated, and sure of themselves while at the same time help them appreciate the rewards and blessings of submission? (good question, any ideas?) I would love some input on this.
How do you raise boys to view women with a similarly high regard? I think I did pretty well with my 20 year old son. He is very polite and respectful to all people. With boys, you need to let them know that they are to treat their wives as they would want their mothers or sisters treated.

Now, with all that being said, I am a very independent person. I have always been that way. My marriage is pretty new to me. Just over 6 months. I am actually the breadwinner of the house and it makes my husband uncomfortable. However, today when my car wouldn't start, he told me to take his and then he had dinner ready for me when I got home from work. I couldn't ask for a better husband. It felt good to have to depend on someone else for a change.

God has a plan for Everything

2013-01-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

This may end up being a post just full of babbling, but please bear with me. This week I had a very rude awakening: I have been extremely tired lately. Thoughts of my old addiction habit (cocaine) have been entering my mind (I bind those thoughts right now in the name of Jesus, amen) just to get me through the day. I have been praying more and more every day. My old church, The Vineyard had a prophetic communion. I am not sure how many of you (if anyone is actually reading this) know what a prophetic communion is, but basically you take communion and then have prophetic words spoken over you. The night before I went my teen aged daughter and I argued (which is nothing new), but it was to the point that I went in my bedroom, hit my knees and just prayed for her. I was really tired but I wanted to go to the prophetic communion. I came home from work, was doing some of my homework and decided that no matter how rainy it was outside and how tired I was at the time, I was going to the prophetic communion. As I was being prayed over waiting for my prophetic words from the prayer team I opened up my heart for the team to really tune in. I was really hungry for some good words. These ladies were good, they were real good. The first lady spoke to me about digging through a mountain to get to the other side and she saw a sign above my head that said "victory". The next lady that spoke up asked me if I had been weary. She sensed that I had been weary for some time now. Tears started rolling down my face. I am weary, I was weary, and I have become more weary since then. (In fact, I noticed today that my hair is getting grayer by the day...I am only 40) The next lady that spoke over me said that she sees a period of rest for me. She told me that in every step I have taken in my path with Jesus, that I have shown his glory and spread my own seeds. She gave me "permission to rest". Sounds great, huh?

Well, the next night I sat down for a heart to heart with my daughter. We had a heart to heart all right. It ended up with a trip to emergency room. She threatened to harm herself even more if I followed through with the consequences I provided her. Harm herself even more? I knew at that moment she was talking about "cutting", but I wanted to get it out of Her. I made her tell me, and then I made her show me. None of her cuts were deep enough to require medical attention (thank you Jesus). We spoke with a social worker, they did not keep her, but she has a follow up appointment with our family doctor next week and an appointment with her psychologist tomorrow. I was able to get 5 free visits for this year through my employee assistance program. (She had 5 visits last year also)
I of course blame myself for all of this. I pray for my daughter daily, but I am beating myself up about not having a good relationship with her. I know that "cutting" is not good, but I thank God that I found out and I can get her the treatment she needs. I still pray that she will come back to church with me, but I have faith it will happen in time.
So, was the victory sign over my head related to finding out about the cutting before she went too far with it? Maybe. But where is my rest period? I got permission to "rest". I think for now my rest period is going to be allowing myself to spend more time with God in prayer and take more time for relaxing.
So, I had a revelation in church today. This is how I know that God does have a plan for everything. During Sunday school we sing 2 hymns. I am not familiar with most of them, so I don't know the name of this particular hymn, however it talked about being in heaven and never "aging". Now, I have never been to Heaven, I don't know what it's going to be like, but a few weeks ago our Pastor told us that he believes that we will all still have jobs in Heaven. Of course I know we aren't going to be floating around on clouds when we get there, but during this hymn we were singing I realized that children are called to Heaven by God for a reason. There is a purpose for children in Heaven.

My journey through The Resolution for Women (Pretty in Print(

2013-01-09T15:54:00.000-08:00

This starts a new section of the book called 'Purposefully Feminine'. How do we maintain a God centered life while feminist females are on the move? Before I became a born again Christian I was very independent. In fact, I am still kind of set in my ways. My first reference for this chapter was Proverbs 31. As most of us know, Proverbs 31 tells us how to be a good wife. No where in the Bible does it speak about women having a "job", but it does tell us that she provides for her family, she makes linen garments and sells them. The helps the needy and takes care of her husband and family. I know that some religions such as the Amish have strict dress codes (by the way, I love the way the Amish live, sometimes I wish that I were born into an Amish family). Women today are supposed to "dress for success". Today women are getting fired for dressing "too sexy". My husband just read an article about one instance of that happening. Here are my answers for the end of the chapter questions:

"How have you seen feminist ideals affect women in the way they: Dress? Act? Make decisions?"

This makes me think of the old swimsuits that covered up pretty much everything and now we see girls walking around in string bikinis. We see women smoking (I included...no one is perfect, God isn't done with me yet), cussing, gossiping, sleeping with the boss to get to the top. Many feminist act this way because of the media. I can't even find shorts for my daughter that are long enough for her to wear to school. Women need to respect themselves. If they do not stop following what the media popularizes men will quit respecting them.

"What are some of the most noticeable ways you see young women turning away from biblical womanhood?"

Young women are taught that they need an education and to have something to fall back on because they cannot trust men to take care of them. They are falling away from allowing the men to be the spiritual leaders in their homes. I agree that everyone needs an education (I am finishing my Masters degree), but our young men need to be taught that when they make that promise to take care of their wives, they need to stick to it no matter what. (Even if the actual working roles within the home are reversed).

"What biblical principles of womanhood strike you as stifling or repressive? Why do you feel that way?"

The Bible actually tells us that women should not speak in church or lead a church. I think that is repressive because it would not allow for women to be heard in the church. You can learn just as much from a Godly woman as you can a man of God.

My journey through The Resolution for Women (The Balancing Point)

2013-01-04T16:14:00.000-08:00

I have actually moved on to the next chapter of this book, but I wanted to blog a little more on this chapter since I misunderstood the "assignment" at the end of the previous chapter. I think I'll make a new list of "wants" and "God's provisions" because that seems more like what it is asking for.

I think I posted earlier that I live in a small 3 bedroom ranch house with an attached garage. It is in an excellent location (I think) and I like my "home". Well, just yesterday my husband said to me "We need a bigger house". I asked him why. He explained to me that he still has stuff out in the garage that he has not moved inside yet. I think about how this makes him feel. I have made the suggestion of making half of the garage into an extra room or having a 3 season patio added onto the back of the house. It seems like he is not satisfied with either of these options. What he doesn't realize is that before we would be able to even put this house on the market there is so much work that needs to be done. Now, I have actually put a lot of money and hard work into this house over the years, but it seems as if it just needs more. I had new insulation put in last year, but they left holes in the walls about 2 inches by 2 inches on most of the walls about 2 feet up from the baseboards. Last year I switched rooms with my daughter so we covered and repainted the holes in 2 of the bedrooms, but in the mean time I pulled up the floor in my bedroom and put down a fake hardwood floor. I never put baseboards back up and I never quite figured out how to seal off the last piece of flooring, so it just looks odd.... (Sorry I can't explain it better than that) I got a new roof put on, I have newer windows, I added a circuit breaker instead of the old fuse box that was here. I have bought 2 new doors, I for my old bedroom which is now my daughter's room and 1 for the bathroom. The one for the bathroom still needs the frame put back up. There is a gigantic hole in the wall under my kitchen sink from where a pipe was rotted and had to be removed. There is a hole in my stepson's room that needs to be fixed from where the frond hose line needed repaired. I do have a new garage door, but I need new storm doors, I don't have one of the front door, the one on the back door is just old and nasty. The back patio has so many cracks in it, the entire thing needs redone. The kitchen floor is missing tiles and needs to be redone. UGH!!! I want all of this to be done. The list of things that need to be repaired is longer than this. No MAJOR repairs, but just so many minor repairs.

Thank you Lord for allowing me to have a house to make a "home" and I ask that you provide my husband and I the guidance to complete the little repairs in order to be able to sell this house if we come together and decide to purchase a different home. Amen.

My Journey through the Resolution for Women (The Balancing Point)

2013-01-01T09:43:00.002-08:00

I guess apparently I did not do my "list" correctly. This chapters dealt with balancing being thankful for what we do have and wanting more. I guess I took the term "needs" much too literally. I do have a huge list of "wants". I'll share just a few with you now:
I want my teenage daughter to quit thinking she is grown, not listening to me, go to church, be a "lady" and actually enjoy her time in my home.
I want a car that doesn't break down spontaneously.
I want to have more energy.
This list of wants can go on and on, but I do have to say that I am currently content with having my "daily needs" met.

My journey through The Resolution for Women (Overflowing Blessing)

2012-12-29T19:02:00.000-08:00

This section of the book discusses about giving, the more you give, the more God blesses you. We have to determine for ourselves when we can give, how we can give, and what can we give. When I attend The Vineyard Church, they did not pass around collection plates, they placed boxes on the back wall and there was no "pressure" to give. The only time I was ever talked to about tithing while attending the Vineyard was during orientation classes to become a member. The pastors always said that if you could not give money (because there were a lot of poor people there) then give your time and serve. That is one of the reasons I miss the Vineyard because they serve the community so much. I think of myself as being a giving person and I love to help others. Here are the questions at the end of the section:

"When you consider your level of willingness to give of yourself, does it reveal more contentment or discontentment residing in your heart? In what way?"
While reflecting on this statement I realize I have a huge character flaw. I am more content if giving of my time, energy, and resources to people that are not close to family. I help people at work without an discontent. I help at church without any discontent. But when it comes to my home life; I get very frustrated because I think I give too much.

"Based on God's provisions that you listed at the end of the last chapter, what is one thing you could close this book and go do for someone else out of that resource?"
I could feed others, I could lend money, I could continue using these resources as God provides them to me.

"Record your thoughts regarding this statement: Sometimes the best, most empowering word you can learn is no."
I used to have a hard time saying no to people, but then I realized that there is not enough time in the day to do everything people ask me to do. I agree with this statement and hope that when I ask someone to do something for me that they are not saying "yes" because they can't say "no".

Baking soda IS amazing.

2012-12-29T14:31:00.001-08:00

I have been researching uses for baking soda, vinegar, dryer sheets, and WD40. I came across one website that suggests Baking Soda is a wonder cleaner for stove tops so I decided to try it out:
Here is a picture of my stove top before doing anything:

Doesn't that look nasty? (I know, I am trying to be a better housewife even though I work full time)
This is a picture of after I took a rag and wiped off all loose particles:

Not much of a change but you can tell around the outside edges.
This is the picture of the baking soda I put on the stove top:

I just sort of shook the box and let it fall where ever it landed. I waited 20 minutes and then went back with a wet rag and began to clean. You will see in the next photo that almost all of the residue came off except for what was not directly on the stove top (the stuff near the back middle)

Voila! I am convinced! Better than any degreaser I have ever used and cheaper too!

My journey through The Resolution for Women (my list)

2012-12-29T07:59:00.001-08:00

So I completed my list of "my needs" and "God's provisions" this morning. I am thinking that I actually have more "needs" than what I have listed, but at least it's a start. While completing this list I realized just how much my parents mean to me. I am so blessed to have parents so close by (physically) and involved in my life.
My list did not copy and paste in columns but I color coded things to make it a little easier.

My needs

v Transportation

v Food

v Water

v Health

v To help people

v Shelter

God’s Provisions

v We currently have 3 vehicles; one is not in working order and needs many repairs. My main vehicle is having some issues but I refuse to purchase a new car right now. I live conveniently by the bus line if I need to ride the bus to work or my husband can take me to work if needed. I am truly blessed by having my parents nearby because they could also pick me up from work if I need them to. Plus, God gave me two feet!

v My daughter constantly says that we have no food in the house, but we do: it’s just on convenience food. God has provided me with frugality, I use lots of coupons. I am also signing up for a nutrition class that will involve cooking demonstrations so maybe I can look for ways to save while taking the class also. Perhaps I can plant a garden this year too.

v I have only had my water shut off one time in my life. I am a procrastinator when it comes to paying bills, so I normally wait to pay the water bill until I get the little red shut off notice (dumb, I know), but the time my water got shut off, there was no notice sent. It was turned on the very next day but I was able to go get water from the store.

v God has blessed me with decent health, I know I am not the healthiest person, but I am working on it. I am 40 other than normal surgeries and some foot problems I am pretty healthy.

Thank you Lord for all of your provisions and the continued blessings you give me each day!

v I have always had a heart for helping people. God has provided my last 4 jobs in which I help people every day. He also blessed me with an opportunity to go on a mission trip a couple years ago. He continues to provide me with opportunities to bless others.

v I bought my home almost 13 years ago while I was making $8/hr. I almost lost it due to my ex-husband, who had an addiction problem, but God was there and I was able to save my shelter.

Everybody's working for the weekend!

2012-12-28T20:00:00.002-08:00

TGIF: (remember that old 80's song, Everybody's working for the weekend?) I think of that every time someone says TGIF. I do mean it today though. I have had a full week and this was first day of this week I had to spend time with my step-son one on one due to my husband working this evening. Well, we were going to tackle the long return line at Walmart to return some of his Christmas gifts that he does not want but that didn't happen. I get everything together as far as receipts, etc. and then go out to leave and my car won't start. No power. This has happened numerous times throughout this year and apparently for no reason. My mechanic is going to try to come look at it tomorrow, but no guarantee. Thank God he is a mobile mechanic. The last time this happened he wasn't even doing anything to the car when it started powering up. There is no rhyme or reason as to why or when this happens. (just mostly at times when I need my car :) I didn't get mad, but I started thinking about whether or not it is time to invest in a new vehicle. I checked a couple websites and decided right away this is not going to happen. Car prices are ridiculous! We do not need a car payment right now so I just want to ask for some prayers that my car will start and my mechanic can actually figure out what is causing this problem.
Lord, thank you for giving me an optimistic attitude and no worries about the car, I know that you will take care of it for me. Amen.

My journey though The Resolution for Women: The Secret

2012-12-27T18:21:00.003-08:00

Well, not that I have "mastered" the art of making every bite count, but today I was able to give full attention to every one I spoke with, including my co-worker and my husband. So, I decided to go a little deeper into Part 1 of the book.
This was familiar territory for me. I am in no way saying that I am perfectly content in every situation, however I know that God will provide my needs. I have never really been materialistic, I shop at sales and thrift stores for the most part. I do not care about name brands, only good quality. Up until my husband moved in after we married I still had a TV from about 20 years ago, no plasma, HD or flatscreen here, he brought his with him though. I still have my TV from 20 years ago, we just moved it into the bedroom. For Christmas this year, I asked for a new Bible, this book I am blogging about and a cross pendant from my husband. My mother called asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told her that I did not want anything but she insisted on me telling her something, so I asked for a fire extinguisher for the kitchen, which is what she got she. I am pretty much satisfied with the house I live in, I want to change a couple things but nothing extravagant. I live in a 3 bedroom ranch home with an attached garage. It's in a nice location near the schools and the library. I am very optimistic, I look for the positive in every situation. I tithe with faith knowing that my tithes will bless others and I share everything. This year I gave a homeless man a sleeping bag and some money along with a few rides to where he needed to go. I gave an extra $100 to some missionaries our church supports. Those are just a few things that I can think of off the top of my head.
So, once again, I am not perfectly content in every situation, but I try my best.
The book is asking me to make a list of "my needs" and then a list of "God's provision". This is going to take some time because God has blessed me tremendously. I will try to get this list together within the next week and post it.
The question at the end of this segment is "What might God be trying to grow in your character or cement in your relationship with Him by keeping you separated from some of the things you want buy don't have yet?". My answer would have to be more patience, and for my children to develop a relationship with Jesus.

Lord, thank you for providing me with my daily needs without worrying about tomorrow's needs because I know that you will provide those as well. Amen.

My journey through the Resolution for Women (Every Bite Counts)

2012-12-26T18:44:00.000-08:00

To be quite honest I did not make the lasagna I talked about making last night, after I finished my Blog post I went to bed. I was not feeling so good. The book discusses working through one chapter at a time, so I re-read some of the first chapter this evening. I was only at work for 3 hours today because of the weather, but God revealed something to me while I was there. While my co-worker is talking I am constantly thinking about how I am going to respond. This means that I am not truly listening to the people around me. I am going to work on that. Maybe I should work on that for the week and then get into chapter 2? I did make my lasagna today, I did not rush thought the process and it turned out wonderful.

Lord, I ask for patience to listen to the people in my life before I start thinking about how I am going to respond. Amen.

My journey through The Resolution for Women: Every Bite Counts

2012-12-25T14:00:00.000-08:00

The Resolution for Women was a Christmas gift from my husband. I have wanted the book for a while now, so I put it on my list. I just finished the first chapter. Basically, it's about missing out on your life experiences because you are hurrying onto the next one, not being content in the moment but waiting on the next thing to happen. At the end of the chapter it asks some questions.

"What have you been hurrying through?" Me: EVERYTHING. And boy, do I mean literally everything! My mind races faster than a Nascar race. There are literally things that I simply do not remember because I was there but as they author puts it "I was not really there"- my mind was onto the next thing. My son is 20 years old and I barely remember any special moments between us. My daughter is 14 and I remember even fewer special moments between us. I really need to slow down and realize that each moment of my life is a purpose from God and learn to enjoy it.

"What have I been hurrying to get to?" hmmm, I'm not really sure. I have some thoughts about it, but I don't even know if that's really it. I want to finish my degree so I can do more for other people, but shouldn't I be enjoying the people in life right now?

"What are some of the good parts of your experience that you've missed in your attempt to rush through the more difficult ones?" I would have to say that most of my children's experiences, I feel like I rushed them into growing up and not allowing them to be children. I was in some bad relationships for most of my son's childhood, I think I was preoccupied with those bad experiences to enjoy the good ones with him. My daughter is another story for another day.

"What can you do differently to "scrape the plate" - to gather up all of the good things around you and begin enjoying the journey of your life?" Wow, this is something to think about. I should probably focus on the good times. As far as the things that I do not like to do (all of the normal mom/wife duties: cooking, cleaning, etc.) I could learn how to do them better and maybe I would appreciate it more. Tonight I am making lasagna for dinner. I am going to take my time and make sure that I ask my daughter if she wants to help, that way she can learn how to make it too.

Lord, allow me to think about each thing I am doing as I do it in order to enjoy each of these gifts of experiences you have given me. Amen

Merry Christmas?

2012-12-25T08:18:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone.

I would like to say that it is almost 9:00 am and neither my child or my step son is awake to open presents. I was going to get up and go into work to make some extra cash because we need it, but then something happened last night to change my mind. I am about to tell a story about how I know that I need work on my journey with Christ. I try to justify my being mad, but this morning as I prayed for forgiveness for myself and the other parties I can't get out of my mind that I am still mad at the events that transpired (so I know that I need some work). Here is my "Not so Merry Christmas Eve" story:

My step son lives in California, we live in Ohio. My husband flies out to get him 3 times a year, Christmas, Spring Break and Summer Break. Getting the cheapest flight prices at pretty much the last minutes meant that my husband flew out to CA on Sunday and spend the night for an early trip home on Christmas Eve. His flight was scheduled to return at 3:54 pm Christmas Eve. His brother and sister were to get here at 4:15 pm, then we were all going to go to my old church's Christmas Eve service at 6:00 pm. Then we were going to my parents house at 8:00 pm.

My daughter and I left around 10:00 am and did some last minute shopping for my 20 year old son, then went to the grocery store to get some food for yesterday and today. I am not much of an entertainer so the food for last night consisted of red and green grapes (Christmas colors), cheese cubes and crackers along with chips and dip. I put the grapes in the middle of a round platter, the cheese around that, and then crackers on the outside. Then we came home and cleaned the house and got ready for the evening.

About the time I was going to leave to pick up my husband from the airport I checked the flight status. It was then saying the plane would arrive at 4:06 pm. By the time all was said and done, his plane didn't get here until 4:45 pm. His brother had already arrived, but his sister got held up at work and could not come. So, I was really looking forward to going to my old Church for their Christmas service, but I knew there was no way we'd be going at this point. My husband (who is not as optimistic as I) had been on a plane pretty much all day, by the time we got back to the house from the airport we would have to change and immediately leave for service. (I am still mourning the loss of my old church) So,we did not go to church service which has been a long-standing Christmas Eve tradition for me and his sister was not able to join us. As the clock was getting closer to 6:00 pm the more upset I was getting that we were not able to go to church. (is that justifiable?)

So, then we go over to my parent's house at 8:00 pm. My brother and his family, my nephew and his family, me and my family are all there. Every year the kids eat at the kitchen table while the adults eat in the living room and then we open gifts. Well, to back up a little: over the summer I took my step-son over to my mom's house while my brother's children were there. They did not like my step-son, they told my mom that he was mean. (I have an inkling that my step-son doesn't have a lot of friends in CA and is not used to playing with other children, I don't think he developed some basic social norms yet). However he went to sit at the table and neither of my brother's children would sit at the table. Well, my brother told them to go eat at the table, but all they did was go into the kitchen only to return out to the living room. I heard my sister-in-law say "fine, go put your drink in there and come sit down". My niece however went out to the kitchen and stood at the counter to eat instead of going to sit in the dining room. I went over to my niece and asked her to go sit in the dining room. (first of all, I have a problem with children that do not obey their parents, second of all, I know that she did not want to sit in there because of my step-son). She said that she did not want to, so I explained to her that it was rude. The next thing I know my brother says "Tina, I think you owe my daughter an apology, she is over here crying" (like I beat her or something) I refused to apologize because I do not think I was in the wrong. I may have hurt her feelings, but she was hurting my step-son's feelings. So, my brother stops eating rounds up his family and leaves, upsetting my mom and then my daughter turns around and says "you ruined Christmas for everyone". All of the grown-ups know that it was not me, that it was my brother's choice to leave and make my mom upset. After my daughter said that, I was ready to leave but my mom asked me to please stay.

I can only assume that as soon as they walked out the door my sister-in-law "unfriended" me on FaceBook and then had my niece do the same. My brother had not unfriended me yet but when I got home my brother had posted on his FaceBook something about if an adult has a problem with a child they should come to the parent first.... I don't remember exactly what was said, but I responded "If my daughter was being rude to my brother's step-child I would expect her uncle to say something to her" and then I blocked him, his wife and his daughter. I know this was probably a childish thing to do, but my sister-in-law has always been vindictive, so I went ahead and blocked them so I do not have to deal with it. (is that justifiable or Christian-like?). My nephew also posted on FaceBook that this was his worst Christmas ever. I feel in a way that it somehow is my fault, but I felt justified to stand up for what is right. Children should not be rude, they should obey their parents and they should not judge other children.

My brother even took his gifts for my family??? I left my gifts for him and his family at my mom's house and asked her to give them to him the next time she sees him. I can understand not giving me a gift because he is mad at me, but to take my daughter's gift is just not right.

So, am I wrong to be upset that Christmas Eve did not turn out as I wanted it to?

When God closes one door, he opens another

2012-12-10T08:02:00.000-08:00

So, I've tried the blogging thing in the past and was not very successful. I wasn't sure which way to go with it: Do I try to make it funny, should it be about everything in my life or should I focus on one aspect? Needless to say.... I still haven't figured that part out. All I know is that God has been calling me to reach out to more people. I guess I'll start my new blog with telling everyone about my current situation. I got married back in June to a Wonderful Christian man. We met online. He lived an hour away from me, so we both went to different churches. I was very involved in my church, so was he. I was on the prayer team, I led a small bible study, I did numerous outreaches and even went on my first mission with that church. My husband was the drummer for the praise and worship team, teaches Sunday school, and was involved in a nursing home ministry.
I prayed and asked God what to do about where to go to church. He led me to go to my husband's church. My husband's brother is the pastor at this church. He is a wonderful pastor and I have learned a lot since attending, but somehow I still miss my old church. My husband knows this, the pastor (my brother-in-law) knows this, but I just became a member of the church. Since I have started attending the church (almost 6 months ago) the church has had one outreach (which I had to miss), and they have started a ladies group. The ladies group has only met a couple times, however it is a wonderful idea. See, the church is small, I really don't know how many people attend, but normally I would estimate there are about 20-25 people there give or take a few.
The only thing I am doing for the church is making the PowerPoint slide show for praise and worship and then running the slide show during praise and worship. I have met some absolutely wonderful people there and have been seeing some new faces, making the attendance seem to be growing. My thoughts still seem to wander back to my old church and all of the things "I am missing out on". In reality I am not missing out on anything, when God closed the door to my old church and opened the door to my new one, he has shown me more of his presence. God has been placing things on my heart that I can no longer ignore.
See, I am in the process of obtaining my Master's Degree in Human Service. I have always been called to serve, but I thought I had to wait to get my degree in order to start "really serving". I have a dream to start a non-profit organization. During prayer time God revealed to me the name of my non-profit. Now I know that I have to start making that dream become a reality!