My life

毀掉孩子的17種行為 - 你一定希望父母看過這篇

2014-07-01T22:52:00.001+08:00

1. 有求必應

從孩子嬰兒時期開始，就對他有求必應，要什麼給什麼。這樣當他長大後，就會理所當然地認為：萬物皆備於我。

2. 口出穢言

當他口出污言穢語時，儘管譏笑他。這樣他的詞彙會越來越不成體統，說出話來把人氣個半死。

3. 道德教育

永遠不對他進行精神道德教育，讓他自己混到成年時再說，讓他自己去決定一切。

4. 指責錯誤

避免對孩子說他犯了錯誤，免得孩子有時候會感到內疚。
這樣他將來犯錯或者因為其他原因犯罪而被逮捕的時候，會感到全世界都在同他作對，他反倒成了受害者。

5. 幫孩子收拾

把他隨手亂丟的一切東西都替他收拾好，不讓孩子自己動手，免得他累着。
這樣他會養成習慣，遇事把一切責任都推給別人。

6. 干涉孩子的閱讀

不論好壞書刊，任其自看，不聞不問，更不予干涉。
而家裡倒是收拾得乾乾淨淨，餐具也做了徹底的清毒，但就是不管孩子的腦袋裏裝了多少垃圾。

7. 夫妻吵架

父母經常吵架，惡言相加，根本不顧忌孩子在場。
這樣，將來父母感情破裂，離婚時，孩子不致於感到意外。

8. 過度的給零用錢

孩子要用多少零用錢都照給不誤、不要讓他自己幹活掙錢，也不教他節省，何如讓他知道父母苦和累呢？

9. 有求必應

對孩子在飲食、起居方面的無理要求，總是姑息遷就。這樣只會讓孩子提出更多無理的要求。

10. 不站在孩子這一邊

當他和鄰居，老師或警察發生衝突時，家長堅定不移地站在孩子一邊，讓孩子知道：那些人都是對你不公平的。
如果連父母都不站在孩子這一邊，他會覺得整個世界都在欺負他。

11. 闖禍時責罵他

當孩子闖了大禍以後，不應該責罵他，
應該慎重地聲明說:“這點雞毛蒜皮的小事, 未免小題大做了吧？”。

12. 對孩子說"你辦不到"

千萬不要對孩子說：“例如學習不行，長相不行，交際不行，幹家務不行，讓家人為他受累……”
適當的鼓勵孩子，“你能行”“你是最棒的”

這些話要經常對孩子說。

13. 把孩子當出氣筒

在外面不管遇到什麼事，回家後千萬不要遷怒孩子。
工作上遇到不順心的事，回家後找孩子撒氣，無論什麼事都歸功於孩子的過錯然後教訓他，還不讓他流眼淚。

這樣做會嚴重地打擊孩子的自尊心，會使他產生自卑感。

14. 把自己的錯歸結到孩子身上

千萬不可把這些錯歸結到孩子身上，
例如：經常告訴孩子，自從有了他，你連電影也沒看過，你為他操碎了心，都累出病來了，
最好再具體說出你身上的哪種病是由於他造成的，或者說，如果不是為了照顧他，自己早就在事業上有大發展了。

給孩子講自己的一些經歷時，要學會從側面鼓勵。

15. 對孩子大小聲

和孩子說話時記得要心平氣和，不管在外面遇到什麼事，都要控制好自己的語速和說話音量。

16. 窺探孩子的隱私

給孩子留一定個人空間，不要刻意的去干涉他的個人隱私。切記不去翻他的東西（特別是日記）

17.和其他孩子比較

要經常肯定孩子的成功。千萬不要拿比自己孩子強的小夥伴去和自己的孩子比，
例如這種話要時常掛在嘴邊”看人家××，從不讓父母操心!”

這類話最具打擊力，是摧毀孩子的王牌語錄。

12 Habits of Really Successful People (Mad Men Edition)

2014-06-08T21:43:00.002+08:00

Original post can be found here: http://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/12-habits-of-really-successful-people-mad-men-edition.html?cid=sf01002

Years go by, fashion changes, but the things that really successful people do each day are timeless.

Here's a case in point: Mad Men, the hit television show about the partners and employees in a 1960s advertising agency, now entering its seventh season. I've written before about how the real star of the program isn't Don Draper or Peggy Olson but the advertising agency itself. More than that, if you take notes, you'll see that the plot lines and characters offer great examples of how to get ahead every single day--and how not to.

1. Trust your creative side.

Series protagonist Draper's title is "creative director," which has to be one of the most apt job descriptions ever, given his penchant for reinvention. However, he does seem to understand how his creative mind works. Among his practices, he'll spend a lot of time thinking about a creative challenge, then forget it, allowing his subconscious mind to do the heavy lifting.

2. Fake it until you make it.

Draper is secretly living another man's life, and with the development of another character, Bob Benson, it looks as though he's not the only one. When the firm was small, it would go out of its way to try to look bigger and more accomplished. You don't want to be dishonest or disingenuous, but you do want to visualize what success would look like and behave as if you already fit the part.

3. Get ahead of your customers.

Here's the key to advertising. Dealing with people effectively is about finding a way to help them get what they want. The challenge is that so few people are truly self-aware. Thus, your mission is to figure it out for them and find a solution to a problem they didn't even know about.

4. Think bigger.

Olson rose from secretary to creative director. Joan Holloway is now a partner bringing in new accounts. Both characters have reached higher levels than they originally dreamed of, only to find that the prize for climbing a mountain is often another bigger mountain. Plans change, goals shift, but it's the people who are willing to dream bigger who actually accomplish things.

5. Plan ahead.

Mad Men opened years ago with its characters facing a professional challenge. The U.S. government was about to start cracking down on cigarette advertisers, and the firm needed to find both a new way to pitch its tobacco clients and a new direction to find more clients. This required long-term thinking that didn't exactly come naturally to all of the characters.

6. Don't be afraid to quit.

The show is about beginnings and endings, over and over and over--fired clients; fired employees; marriages, business deals, and client engagements that the characters walk away from because they're not working out. From the destruction each time comes a new opportunity.

7. Have fun.

The show is known for its unflinching look at a kind of 1960s debauchery, with all kinds of drinking, sleeping around, and drug experimentation. It's a really unhealthy way to live your life, but it also seems to be the way that the characters blow off steam--and they've got a lot of steam. Don't become an alcoholic philanderer, but be sure to have fun (in healthier ways, I hope).

8. Get a life.

This is where so many of the characters on the show fall down, because they have success only at work, and rush from one failed relationship to another. They seek to solve others' problems only when there is something tangible in it for them: a new client, more money, something they want. Don't follow their example. Remember the old adage that on their deathbeds, people rarely say they wish they had spent more time at the office.

9. Leverage technology.

In the early years of Mad Men, the new technology was television, which was quickly becoming the most effective medium of its time to communicate marketing messages. Part of the protagonists' success involved their ability to pivot and take advantage of it. The technology has changed--boy, has it ever--but the lesson is the same. You can either be an early adapter or an also-ran.

10. Enjoy the roller coaster.

If you're going to be successful--whether in building a business or elsewhere--you're going to have a lot of ups and downs. It makes for great drama on television and for some stomach-churning in real life. If you can't enjoy that kind of volatility, then find a safer, more secure path. You'll be happier and so will those around you. Every day, remind yourself that whether today was an up day or a down one, there will be many others to balance it out.

11. Care for and feed your network.

Half of the characters' jobs on Mad Men are simply to manage relationships with the firm's clients and to network and schmooze with potential new clients. Heck, Draper first got hired after meeting Roger Sterling, getting him drunk, and showing up the next day claiming he had been offered a job. Sterling had been too drunk to remember doing it. These are some morally questionable choices, but that doesn't mean you can't learn from them.Every day, reach out to at least one new person, and to someone you've been out of touch with for a while.

12. Go where the action is.

In real life, Jimmy Fallon recently moved The Tonight Show back to New York City, but in the world of Mad Men, Johnny Carson is about to head to Los Angeles. One of the themes for the new season is the idea of new beginnings, especially out West. Today's new frontiers are more global but no less real. (As someone who has recently expanded the client base of myghostwriting business to Asia and the Middle East, I have seen this firsthand.)

李嘉诚给儿子的十句话，看到第二句我就震撼了！！！

2014-06-06T08:09:00.001+08:00

美国著名的《财富》杂志借《财富》全球论坛在香港举行之际，对李嘉诚这位香港最成功的财富精英进行了专访。

　　   在专访中，李嘉诚吐露了他的成功之道：对重大趋势要有“悟性”，方能赚得巨利，必成大赢家。李嘉诚之所以能够成为世界级富豪，其财富秘诀自然有多条，其中他对他的儿子十条，可谓是字字是金，是很值得许多人学习和借鉴的“财富”真经。

一、克勤克俭，不求奢华

　　 李嘉诚的儿时是多苦多难的，也正因为此，才让他养成了一种别人所不能有的品格。并不过分一点说，正是这种品格促成了他今天的成就，也正是这种成就、这种品格让他在儿子们面前变的伟大，而“克勤克俭，不求奢华”这八个字也成为他对儿子们最深切感怀的忠告。

 二、赚钱靠机遇，成功靠信誉

　　“信义”一直是正直君子们的座右铭，也是许多父母对孩子的期望。李嘉诚能发展到今天，正如他自己所言，靠努力，更靠信义。在生意场上，李嘉诚笃信信誉是宝贵的经营资本，他时时把这种经营思想传给儿子。有时候，他对信义几乎到了痴迷的程度。而这种痴迷也正影响了他的两个儿子，可以说，这十个字是李嘉诚对经商儿子们最大的忠告。

三、耐心等待成功的到来

　　李嘉诚经常跟他的儿子们说，十年树木百载成林，做大品牌，就要关注细节，要有耐心，惟其如此，才能成就你所能想象的事业。

　　“精细商作，耐心为本”是长江实业的口号。而许多人并不知道的是，这八个字还是李嘉诚家族的“家规”。

四、学会培养独立的生活能力

　　在李嘉诚看来，一个并不完全懂事的孩子就应该学会独立生活的能力。“虽然他们还小，但是我想早期启蒙教育会让他们从小知道父亲创业的艰难，学习父亲顽强拼搏的精神，长大了才能成为栋梁之材。如果现在放松了对他们的早期教育，他们成了只知道吃喝玩乐的纨绔子弟，再进行教育就迟了。我所做的这一切其实只是想让他们学会独立面对生活和社会的一切。”

五、别人如果放弃，你就要出手

　　任何一个产业，都有它自己的高潮与低谷。

　　在低谷的时候，相当大的一部分企业都会选择放弃，有的是由于目光的短浅而放弃，还有的是由于各种各样的原因而不得不放弃。所以，李嘉诚告戒他的两个儿子们：在这个时候一定要静下心来认真地分析一下，是不是这个产业已经到了穷途末路，是不是还会有高潮来临的那一天?如果你考虑好了，就要抓紧时间，从别人放弃的东西中去寻找利润最大空间。

六、不要对一项业务情有独钟

　　 21世纪最贵的是人才，而人才中最贵的是全才。

　　李嘉诚告诫他的儿子们说，在一个真正的商业人士眼中，应该是只有赢利的业务，而没有永远的业务。任何一项业务，当它走过自己的成熟阶段之后，必将走向衰落，而这个时候如果不进行自我调整，还抱着不放，必将随着该项业务的衰落而走向失败。

七、有胆识也要有谋略

　　 “知难而上，舍卒保帅”讲的是敢于迎难而上，学会放弃。

　　李嘉诚在遇到棘手问题时能够知难而上、舍卒保帅，可谓一个胆识与谋略结合的大商人。他经常告戒他的两个儿子，一个人仅有胆量在这个时代虽然能创出一片天下来，但在守成时期，光有胆量是远远不够的，还要有谋略。在许多时候，谋略往往比胆识重要的多得多。

八、懂得用人是成功的前提

　　  业务发展愈是庞大，就更要懂得用人之道，独具慧眼，李嘉诚那份“慧”是出于一份“心”。

　　企业管理体制上的问题不同于事务性问题，事务性问题不会影响大局，同时也容易解决;而体制上的问题，则往往带有全局的性质，而且如不及时解决，会直接影响企业的前途和命运。在这个问题上，李嘉诚深谋远虑，费了很多心血。

九、要时刻考虑合作伙伴的利益

　　  合作伙伴之间是一种相辅相成，互相弥补的关系，在从事一项业务活动的过程中，如果双方都拿50%的利润，这个活动可以很快的进行下去，如果愿意把利润的60%让给对方呢?所以，“做任何生意，都要时刻考虑合作伙伴的利益。”

十、肯用心来思考未来

　　  人的眼睛的作用在于发现、洞察世事人性，从中找到为己所用的知识、机会、以便让自己在更高的起点上宝贵的经验上起步。古人说，“世事洞明皆学问，人情练达即文章。”一个人要做好任何事情，都离不开“世事洞明”和“人情练达”这八个字，对于有志于经商的人来说尤其是这样。

Billionaire Jack Ma teaches you how to be successful in life and business

2014-04-19T09:52:00.001+08:00

Jack Ma: The mistake I regretted the most

In 2001, I made a mistake. I told 18 of my fellow comrades whom embarked on the entrepreneurship journey with me that the highest positions they could go was a managerial role. To fill all our Vice President and Senior Executive positions, we would have to hire from external parties.

Years later, those I hired were gone, but those whom I doubted their abilities became Vice Presidents or Directors.

I believe in two principles: Your attitude is more important than your capabilities. Similarly, your decision is more important than your capabilities!

Jack Ma: You cannot unify everyone’s thoughts, but you can unify everyone through a common goal.

Don’t even trust that you are able to unify what everyone is thinking; it is impossible.
30% of all people will never believe you. Do not allow your colleagues and employees to work for you. Instead, let them work for a common goal.
It is a lot easier to unite the company under a common goal rather than uniting the company around a particular person.

Jack Ma: What does a leader have that an employee doesn’t?

A leader should never compare his technical skills with his employee’s. Your employee should have superior technical skills than you. If he doesn’t, it means you have hired the wrong person.

What, then, makes the leader stands out?

A leader should be a visionary and have more foresight than an employee.
A leader should have higher grit and tenacity, and be able to endure what the employees can’t.
A leader should have higher endurance and ability to accept and embrace failure.

The quality of a good leader therefore is his vision, tenacity, and his capability.

Jack Ma: Don’t be involved in politics

One should always understand that money and political power can never go hand in hand. Once you are in politics, don’t ever think about money anymore. Once you are running a business, don’t ever think of being involved in politics.
When money meets political power, it is similar to a match meeting an explosive- waiting to go off.

Jack Ma: The 4 main questions the young generation must ponder on

What is failure: Giving up is the greatest failure.
What is resilience: Once you have been through hardships, grievances and disappointments, only then will you understand what is resilience.
What your duties are: To be more diligent, hardworking, and ambitious than others.
Only fools use their mouth to speak. A smart man uses his brain, and a wise man uses his heart.

Jack Ma: We are born to live and experience life.

I always tell myself that we are born here not to work, but to enjoy life. We are here to make things better for one another, and not to work. If you are spending your whole life working, you will certainly regret it.

No matter how successful you are in your career, you must always remember that we are here to live. If you keep yourself busy working, you will surely regret it.

Jack Ma on competing and competition

Those that compete aggressively with one another are the foolish ones.
If you view everyone as your enemies, everyone around you will be your enemies.
When you are competing with one another, don’t bring hatred along. Hatred will take you down.
Competition is similar to playing a board of chess. If you lose, we can always have another round. Both players should never fight.
A real businessman or entrepreneur has no enemies. Once he understand this, the sky’s the limit.

Jack Ma: Don’t make complaining and whining a habit

If you complain or whine once in a while, it is not a big deal.

However, if it becomes habitual, it will be similar to drinking: the more you drink, the stronger the thirst. On the path to success, you will notice that the successful ones are not whiners, nor do they complain often.

The world will not remember what you say, but it will certainly not forget what you have done.

Jack Ma’s advice to entrepreneurs

The opportunities that everyone cannot see are the real opportunities.
Always let your employees come to work with a smile.
Customers should be number 1, Employees number 2, and then only your Shareholders come at number 3.
Adopt and change before any major trends or changes.
Forget the money; Forget about earning money.
Rather than having small smart tricks to get by, focus on holding on and persevering.
Your attitude determines your altitude.

Jack Ma on entrepreneurship

A great opportunity is often hard to be explained clearly; things that can be explained clearly are often not the best opportunities.
You should find someone who has complementary skills to start a company with. You shouldn’t necessarily look for someone successful. Find the right people, not the best people.
The most unreliable thing in this world is human relationships.
“Free” is the most expensive word.
Today is cruel, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be beautiful.

Jack Ma: The 4 don’ts of entrepreneurship

The scariest things about starting up is the inability to see, to be snobbish, to be unable to understand what is going on, as well as to be unable to keep up with pace.
If you do not know where your competitor is, or overconfident and snobbish about your competitor, or are unable to comprehend how your competitor became a real threat, you will surely fall behind him. Don’t be the “they” in this idiom: First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Even if your competitor is still small in size or weak, you should take him seriously and treat him as a giant. Likewise, even if your competitor is massive in size, you shouldn’t regard yourself as a weakling.

Jack Ma on starting your own company

What starting your company means: you will lose your stable income, your right to apply for a leave of absence, and your right to get a bonus.

However, it also means your income will no longer be limited, you will use your time more effectively, and you will no longer need to beg for favours from people anymore.

If you have a different mindset, you will have a different outcome: if you make different choices from your peers, your life will then be different from your peers.

Jack Ma on opportunities

If there are over 90% of the crowd saying “Yes” to approving a proposal, I will surely dispose the proposal into the bin. The reason is simple: if there are so many people who thinks that the proposal is good, surely there will be many people who would have been working on it, and the opportunity no longer belongs to us.

The article is originally published in Chinese, and is translated into English. If you think this was helpful, feel free to share it with your friends.

Jack Ma: If you’re still poor at 35, you deserve it!

2014-04-16T10:21:00.002+08:00

You are poor because you have no ambition.

Jack Ma: Before I founded Alibaba, I invited 24 friends to my house to discuss the business opportunity. After discussing for a full two hours, they were still confused — I have to say that I may not have put myself across in a clear manner manner then. The verdict: 23 out of the 24 people in the room told me to drop the idea, for a multitude of reasons, such as: ‘you do not know anything about the internet, and more prominently, you do not have the start-up capital for this’ etc etc.

There was only one friend (who was working in a bank then) who told me, “If you want to do it, just try it. If things don’t work out the way you expected it to, you can always revert back to what you were doing before.” I pondered upon this for one night, and by the next morning, I decided I would do it anyway, even if all of the 24 people opposed the idea.

When I first started Alibaba, I was immediately met with strong opposition from family and friends. Lookingback, I realised that the biggest driving force for me then was not my confidence in the Internet and the potential it held, but more of this: ”No matter what one does, regardless of failure or success, the experience is a form of success in itself.” You have got to keep trying, and if it doesn’t work, you always can revert back to what you were doing before.

As with this quote by T.E. Lawrence – “All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream in the dark recesses of the night awake in the day to find all was vanity. But the dreamers of day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, and make it possible.”

Jack Ma: People lose out in life because of these 4 reasons:

Being myopic to opportunity
Looking down on opportunities
Lacking understanding
Failing to act quickly enough

You are poor, because you have no ambition.

Ambition is living a life of great ideals; a magnificent goal in life that must be realised.

In this world, there are things that are deemed unfathomable, but there is nothing in this world that cannot be done. The depth of one’s ambition determines the potential of one’ future.

The Story of Juliet Wu Shihong – one of China’s first-generation professional managers, who gained success by working her way up the ranks from a cleaner, a nurse, a marketing executive, through self-education and learning on the job.

She had been the general manager for the world’s most famous multinational IT groups’ Chinese branches (Microsoft 1985-1998; IBM 1998-1999). She is also China’s first successful international corporate executive to join the executive team of a domestic private firm. Wu was seen as a symbol of the new generation of business executives that China has produced in its economic reform and opening-up.

When Wu started off in a big company working from the lowest ranks, her daily job was to pour tea and sweep floors. Once, because she forgot her staff pass, the company’s guard stopped her at the door and denied her entry. She explained to the guard that she was indeed one of the company’s employees, and that she had merely left the building for a short while to purchase office supplies.

Despite her pleas, the guard still did not allow to enter. As she stood at the gate, she watched as those of similar age to her, but smartly dressed in business attire walking through without having to show their passes.

She asked the guard, “Why are these people allowed through without producing a pass?” The guard dismissed her coldly nonetheless.

That was the turning point for Wu – she felt great shame, her self-esteem trampled on.

She looked at herself, dressed in shabby clothes and pushing a dirty push cart. Looking back at those dressed in smart attire, her heart felt a deep ache from the sudden realization of the sorrow and grief from being discriminated. From that moment, she vowed never to allow herself to be shamed like this again, and to become world-famous.

Since then, she used every opportunity to enrich herself. Every day, she was the first to arrive at work, and the last one to leave. She made every second count, spending her time learning the ropes. Her efforts soon paid off; she was made a sales representative, and quickly progressed to being the regional general manager of this multinational company in China. Wu did not possess strong academic qualifications, and was revered as the ‘Queen of Part-timers’. Subsequently, she assumed the position of GM of IBM China. This is the Wu Shihong, the heroine in China’s business circle.

If not for the incident, Wu Shihong would not have had the ambition to become rich, and her life would have taken a very different path then.

You are poor because you do not have the desire to become successful.
You are poor because you lack foresight.
You are poor because you cannot overcome your cowardice.
You are poor because you lack the courage and determination.

With ambition you can overcome all inferiority and maximise your potential!
With ambition you can persevere, continuously learn new things and strive for perfection.
With ambition you can defy all odds, and create miracles when others daren’t.

No matter how poor your family is, do not doubt your own abilities and lose sight of your ambition.

When your family deems you worthless, no one will pity you.
When your parents do not have money to pay the medical bills, no one will pity you.
When you are beaten by your competitors, no one will pity you.
When your loved ones abandon you, no one will pity you.
When you have not accomplished anything by the time you are 35, no one will pity you.

Go big, or go home. Otherwise, you’re wasting your youth.

The article is originally published in Chinese, and is translated into English. If you think this was helpful, feel free to share it with your friends.

About Jack Ma: Jack Ma is a Chinese Internet entrepreneur. He is the Executive Chairman of Alibaba Group, a family of highly successful Internet-based businesses. He is also the first mainland Chinese entrepreneur to appear on the cover of Forbes Magazine and ranks as one of the world’s billionaires.Ma was named the Financial Times’ 2013 Person of the Year because he personifies the Chinese internet, referring to him as the “godfather of China’s scrappy entrepreneurial spirit.”.

白龍王9大信條語錄

2013-08-21T10:14:00.000+08:00

「泰國白龍王」病逝享年76歲！

人只要脾氣好，凡事就會好~~
轉述：自泰國的傳奇人物「白龍王」

「要決定前途好不好、事事好不好，最重要是要有好脾氣，不要迷信，要尊敬父母比尊敬神明更多。」

充滿神秘感的白龍王，在泰國白龍王廟，30年來首度接受了記者的訪問，現年72歲的他身穿紅色上衣和米色外套，頭發灰白、皮膚黝黑的他雙眼炯炯有神，抽著雪茄。

泰國白龍王是當地著名的奇人異士，懂得替人消災解厄，名聲遠播海內外，香港許多紅星和藝人，都曾向他討教賜運。接見信眾不超過5分鐘他行事獨特，一般接見參訪的信眾和弟子都不超過5分鐘，不管你是普通民眾，還是巨星、聞人，他都一視同仁，就連天王劉德華、梁朝偉等也一樣。

白龍王指出，他在知道自己是白龍王轉世後，一般只接見民眾信徒，其他都不見，而接見信徒和弟子，也都只是5分鐘，就連名人也是一視同仁。白龍王接見弟子的時間是在每逢週五至週日，每次見100人，有時人多也會見至150人。白龍王很出名，信徒眾多，來自多個國家和地區。不少人甚至組團專程到白龍王廟，渴望見到白龍王，請師傅指點迷津。

雖然白龍王廟每天早上8時才開門，清晨5時已經開始派發編號，讓信徒拿。清晨6時，白龍王廟一開，先讓弟子進去上香拜神，隨後8時才開始問事，直到下午一二時才休息。清晨3時排隊拿編號。一般上，弟子們在清晨3時就會去排隊拿編號。踫上大日子時，一些弟子在凌晨12時就去排隊，就為了得到白龍王的一句真言。

白龍王說，他的妻子、孩子和孫子就住在附近，他本身則住在廟里，每天大部份的時間都花在打座上。白龍王在接見記者後，給了記者一張他親筆簽名的5元人民幣鈔票，表示見過他的人都認得這張鈔票。他堅持不肯拍照，表示不想宣傳。他說，白龍王廟的經費都是由弟子捐獻。

〝來問事的人我不收費，一切由他本身決定要給多少香油錢。〞他說，這麼多年來他不曾受訪，因為他不想宣傳，只想幫人，只要有事的人都能去找他幫忙。

白龍王9大信條語錄

記者整理出白龍王的9大信條語錄，列出共大家參考︰

1. 很多人來到這裡都問我︰
我的事業好不好？家庭好不好？孩子好不好？姻緣好不好？
我只是回答一句︰你的脾氣好不好？一切都會有答案。

2. “拜神求平安，回家卻和父母頂嘴，要怎樣得到平安？”

3. “父母才是真神，對父母比神好一點，一切便順順利利。”

4. “心好有好日”－這也是白龍王的座右銘。

5. “讀書讀得高就好，脾氣高就很不好。”

6. “神不會騙人，只有人騙神。死人不會罵人，只有人罵死人。”

7. “無論是甚麼人，壞人、好人、有錢人、窮人，來到這裡都要排隊。”

8. “拜神不要迷信。”

9. “好樹生好火，家中夫妻和諧，孩子才會學習去遷就人家。”

人的一生都在學做人，學習做人是一輩子的事，沒有辦法畢業的。人生不管是士農工商、各種人等，只要學習就有進步，今天要跟大家分享需要學習的事。

第一、「學習認錯」

人常常不肯認錯，凡事都說是別人的錯，認為自己才是對的，其實不認錯就是一個錯。

認錯的對象可以是父母、朋友、社會大眾、佛祖，甚至向兒女或是對我不好的人認錯，
自己不但不會少了什麼，反而顯得你有度量。學習認錯是美好的，是一個大修行。

第二、「學習柔和」

人的牙齒是硬的，舌頭是軟的，到了人生的最後，
牙齒都掉光了，舌頭卻不會掉，所以要柔軟，
人生才能長久，硬反而吃虧。

心地柔軟了，是修行最大的進步。

一般形容執著的人說，你的心、你的性格很冷、很硬，像鋼鐵一樣。

如果我們像禪門說的調息、調身、調心，慢慢調伏像野馬、像猴子的這顆心，令它柔軟，人生才能活得更快樂、更長久。

第三、「學習生忍」

這世間就是忍一口氣，風平浪靜，退一步海闊天空；
忍，萬事都能消除。忍就是會處理、會化解，用智慧、能力讓大事化小、小事化無。

各位要生活、要生存、要生命，有了忍，可以認清世間的好壞、善惡、是非，甚至接受它。

第四、「學習溝通」

缺乏溝通，就會產生是非、爭執與誤會。

現在中國大陸、香港和台灣，
兩岸三地最重要的就是溝通，
相互了解、相互體諒、相互幫助，
大家都是龍兄虎弟，互相爭執、不溝通怎麼能和平呢？

第五、「學習放下」

人生像一只皮箱，需要用的時候提起，
不用的時就把它放下，應放下的時候，卻不放下，
就像拖著沉重的行李，無法自在。

人生的歲月有限，認錯、尊重、
包容才能讓人接受，放下才自在啊！

第六、「學習感動」

我們看到人家得好處，要歡喜；
看到好人好事，要能感動。

感動是一個愛心、菩薩心、菩提心，
在我幾十年的歲月裡，有許多事情、語言感動了我，
所以我也很努力的想辦法讓別人感動。

第七、「學習生存」

為了生存，我要維護身體健康，
身體健康不但對自己有利，也讓朋友、家人放心，
所以也是孝親的行為。

孩子犯错了、讲八句话就可以了

2013-07-31T13:56:00.000+08:00

孩子犯错了，不用批评，只要和孩子讲八句话就可以了。

孩子长大的过程中，免不了会遇到各种问题。作为家长这时不要急着插手，可以先问孩子八个问题，听听他们有什么想法。而往往问不到几个问题，事情就已经很清楚并得到解决了。家长不妨可以一试。

第一个问题是：“发生什么事情了？”
这个问题看起来不起眼，但是非常重要。许多成人碰到突发状况时，会习惯性的太快下判断：“一定是你先打他，他才会打你。”“一定是你做错事，老师才会处罚你。”如果我们不让孩子从他的角度说说事情的经过，很可能冤枉孩子。况且，让孩子有机会说话，即使真的是他的错，他也会因为有机会为自己辩解而比较甘心认错。

第二个问题是：“你的感觉如何？”
事情经过是客观事实，当事人心里受到的冲击纯然是主观的感受，无所谓是非对错。很多时候，我们只是需要把自己的感受说出来而已。一旦说出来，哭一哭，骂一骂，心情就会好多了。脑科学研究表明，当一个人情绪强烈的时候，外在刺激不容易被脑部吸收。也就是说，当一个人还有情绪的时候，别人说什么他都会听不进去。总要等到他心情平静下来，才可能冷静思考。所以如果我们希望孩子能够听得进去我们的意见，我们就需要先同理他的感情，让他的情绪有个出口。

孩子够冷静之后，可以问他第三个问题：“你想要怎样？”
这时不管孩子说出什么惊人之语，先不要急着教训他，而是冷静的接着问他

第四个问题：“那你觉得有些什么办法？”
在这个阶段，不妨跟孩子一起做脑力激荡，想各种点子，合理的、不合理的、荒唐的、可笑的、恶心的、幼稚的……脑力激荡的重点就是允许任何看似无稽的想法。这时候不论听到什么，都暂时不要做批评或判断。

等到再也想不出任何点子的时候，就可以问他
第五个问题：“这些方法的后果会怎样？”
让孩子自己一一检视，每个方法的后果会是什么？你可能会很讶异的发现，大部分的孩子都明白事情的后果。如果他的认知有差距，这时候就可以跟他好好讨论，让他明白现实真相。这是一个很好的亲子沟通机会，但是要避免说教，只要陈述事实就可以了。

然后问他：“你决定怎么做？”
孩子一定会选择对自己最有利的状况，如果他了解后果，通常会做出最合理、最明智的选择。即使他的抉择不是成人期望的结果，也要尊重孩子的决定。成人一定要言而有信，不能先问他怎么决定，然后又告诉他不可以这么决定。这样子，他以后再也不敢信任你了。何况，就算他选择错误，他从这个错误中也可以学习到更珍贵难忘的教训。

接着问第七个问题：“你希望我做什么？” 并且表示支持。
等到事情过去之后，问他最后…..

第八个问题：“结果怎样？有没有如你所料？”
或是“下次碰见相似的情形，你会怎么选择？”
让他有机会检视自己的判断。
如此练习几次，孩子就会有自己解决问题的能力，不需要我们操心了

《经典八问》
第一个问题：“发生什么事情了？”
第二个问题：“你的感觉如何？”
第三个问题：“你想要怎样？”
第四个问题：“那你觉得有些什么办法？”
第五个问题：“这些方法的后果会怎样？”
第六个问题：“你决定怎么做？”
第七个问题：“你希望我做什么？”
第八个问题：“结果怎样？有没有如你所料？”
或是“下次碰见相似的情形，你会怎么选择……

Why French Parents Are Superior

2012-02-05T23:22:00.001+08:00

This blog entry is from WSJ. I'm putting it here to constantly remind myself.

Original URL: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

When my daughter was 18 months old, my husband and I decided to take her on a little summer holiday. We picked a coastal town that's a few hours by train from Paris, where we were living (I'm American, he's British), and booked a hotel room with a crib. Bean, as we call her, was our only child at this point, so forgive us for thinking: How hard could it be?

We ate breakfast at the hotel, but we had to eat lunch and dinner at the little seafood restaurants around the old port. We quickly discovered that having two restaurant meals a day with a toddler deserved to be its own circle of hell.

Bean would take a brief interest in the food, but within a few minutes she was spilling salt shakers and tearing apart sugar packets. Then she demanded to be sprung from her high chair so she could dash around the restaurant and bolt dangerously toward the docks.

Journal Community

Our strategy was to finish the meal quickly. We ordered while being seated, then begged the server to rush out some bread and bring us our appetizers and main courses at the same time. While my husband took a few bites of fish, I made sure that Bean didn't get kicked by a waiter or lost at sea. Then we switched. We left enormous, apologetic tips to compensate for the arc of torn napkins and calamari around our table.

After a few more harrowing restaurant visits, I started noticing that the French families around us didn't look like they were sharing our mealtime agony. Weirdly, they looked like they were on vacation. French toddlers were sitting contentedly in their high chairs, waiting for their food, or eating fish and even vegetables. There was no shrieking or whining. And there was no debris around their tables.

Though by that time I'd lived in France for a few years, I couldn't explain this. And once I started thinking about French parenting, I realized it wasn't just mealtime that was different. I suddenly had lots of questions. Why was it, for example, that in the hundreds of hours I'd clocked at French playgrounds, I'd never seen a child (except my own) throw a temper tantrum? Why didn't my French friends ever need to rush off the phone because their kids were demanding something? Why hadn't their living rooms been taken over by teepees and toy kitchens, the way ours had?

French Lessons

Children should say hello, goodbye, thank you and please. It helps them to learn that they aren't the only ones with feelings and needs.
When they misbehave, give them the "big eyes"—a stern look of admonishment.
Allow only one snack a day. In France, it's at 4 or 4:30.
Remind them (and yourself) who's the boss. French parents say, "It's me who decides."
Don't be afraid to say "no." Kids have to learn how to cope with some frustration.

Soon it became clear to me that quietly and en masse, French parents were achieving outcomes that created a whole different atmosphere for family life. When American families visited our home, the parents usually spent much of the visit refereeing their kids' spats, helping their toddlers do laps around the kitchen island, or getting down on the floor to build Lego villages. When French friends visited, by contrast, the grownups had coffee and the children played happily by themselves.

By the end of our ruined beach holiday, I decided to figure out what French parents were doing differently. Why didn't French children throw food? And why weren't their parents shouting? Could I change my wiring and get the same results with my own offspring?

Driven partly by maternal desperation, I have spent the last several years investigating French parenting. And now, with Bean 6 years old and twins who are 3, I can tell you this: The French aren't perfect, but they have some parenting secrets that really do work.

I first realized I was on to something when I discovered a 2009 study, led by economists at Princeton, comparing the child-care experiences of similarly situated mothers in Columbus, Ohio, and Rennes, France. The researchers found that American moms considered it more than twice as unpleasant to deal with their kids. In a different study by the same economists, working mothers in Texas said that even housework was more pleasant than child care.

Previous Saturday Essays

What's Wrong With the Teenage Mind? (Jan. 28)

The New American Divide (Jan. 21)

Cocaine: The New Front Lines (Jan. 14)

Terror on Trial (Jan. 7)

A Year Without Fear by Scott Adams (Dec. 31)

How to Ace a Google Interview (Dec. 24)

The Juggle: Are French Parents Better?

Rest assured, I certainly don't suffer from a pro-France bias. Au contraire, I'm not even sure that I like living here. I certainly don't want my kids growing up to become sniffy Parisians.

But for all its problems, France is the perfect foil for the current problems in American parenting. Middle-class French parents (I didn't follow the very rich or poor) have values that look familiar to me. They are zealous about talking to their kids, showing them nature and reading them lots of books. They take them to tennis lessons, painting classes and interactive science museums.

Yet the French have managed to be involved with their families without becoming obsessive. They assume that even good parents aren't at the constant service of their children, and that there is no need to feel guilty about this. "For me, the evenings are for the parents," one Parisian mother told me. "My daughter can be with us if she wants, but it's adult time." French parents want their kids to be stimulated, but not all the time. While some American toddlers are getting Mandarin tutors and preliteracy training, French kids are—by design—toddling around by themselves.

I'm hardly the first to point out that middle-class America has a parenting problem. This problem has been painstakingly diagnosed, critiqued and named: overparenting, hyperparenting, helicopter parenting, and my personal favorite, the kindergarchy. Nobody seems to like the relentless, unhappy pace of American parenting, least of all parents themselves.

Nicolas Héron for The Wall Street Journal

Delphine Porcher with daughter Pauline. The family's daily rituals are an apprenticeship in learning to wait.

Of course, the French have all kinds of public services that help to make having kids more appealing and less stressful. Parents don't have to pay for preschool, worry about health insurance or save for college. Many get monthly cash allotments—wired directly into their bank accounts—just for having kids.

But these public services don't explain all of the differences. The French, I found, seem to have a whole different framework for raising kids. When I asked French parents how they disciplined their children, it took them a few beats just to understand what I meant. "Ah, you mean how do we educate them?" they asked. "Discipline," I soon realized, is a narrow, seldom-used notion that deals with punishment. Whereas "educating" (which has nothing to do with school) is something they imagined themselves to be doing all the time.

One of the keys to this education is the simple act of learning how to wait. It is why the French babies I meet mostly sleep through the night from two or three months old. Their parents don't pick them up the second they start crying, allowing the babies to learn how to fall back asleep. It is also why French toddlers will sit happily at a restaurant. Rather than snacking all day like American children, they mostly have to wait until mealtime to eat. (French kids consistently have three meals a day and one snack around 4 p.m.)

One Saturday I visited Delphine Porcher, a pretty labor lawyer in her mid-30s who lives with her family in the suburbs east of Paris. When I arrived, her husband was working on his laptop in the living room, while 1-year-old Aubane napped nearby. Pauline, their 3-year-old, was sitting at the kitchen table, completely absorbed in the task of plopping cupcake batter into little wrappers. She somehow resisted the temptation to eat the batter.

Delphine said that she never set out specifically to teach her kids patience. But her family's daily rituals are an ongoing apprenticeship in how to delay gratification. Delphine said that she sometimes bought Pauline candy. (Bonbons are on display in most bakeries.) But Pauline wasn't allowed to eat the candy until that day's snack, even if it meant waiting many hours.

Earlier

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior (1/8/11)
Are U.S. Parents Too Soft? (1/7/11)
Tiger Mom's Long-Distance Cub (12/24/11)

When Pauline tried to interrupt our conversation, Delphine said, "Just wait two minutes, my little one. I'm in the middle of talking." It was both very polite and very firm. I was struck both by how sweetly Delphine said it and by how certain she seemed that Pauline would obey her. Delphine was also teaching her kids a related skill: learning to play by themselves. "The most important thing is that he learns to be happy by himself," she said of her son, Aubane.

It's a skill that French mothers explicitly try to cultivate in their kids more than American mothers do. In a 2004 study on the parenting beliefs of college-educated mothers in the U.S. and France, the American moms said that encouraging one's child to play alone was of average importance. But the French moms said it was very important.

Later, I emailed Walter Mischel, the world's leading expert on how children learn to delay gratification. As it happened, Mr. Mischel, 80 years old and a professor of psychology at Columbia University, was in Paris, staying at his longtime girlfriend's apartment. He agreed to meet me for coffee.

Mr. Mischel is most famous for devising the "marshmallow test" in the late 1960s when he was at Stanford. In it, an experimenter leads a 4- or 5-year-old into a room where there is a marshmallow on a table. The experimenter tells the child he's going to leave the room for a little while, and that if the child doesn't eat the marshmallow until he comes back, he'll be rewarded with two marshmallows. If he eats the marshmallow, he'll get only that one.

Most kids could only wait about 30 seconds. Only one in three resisted for the full 15 minutes that the experimenter was away. The trick, the researchers found, was that the good delayers were able to distract themselves.

Following up in the mid-1980s, Mr. Mischel and his colleagues found that the good delayers were better at concentrating and reasoning, and didn't "tend to go to pieces under stress," as their report said.

Could it be that teaching children how to delay gratification—as middle-class French parents do—actually makes them calmer and more resilient? Might this partly explain why middle-class American kids, who are in general more used to getting what they want right away, so often fall apart under stress?

Mr. Mischel, who is originally from Vienna, hasn't performed the marshmallow test on French children. But as a longtime observer of France, he said that he was struck by the difference between French and American kids. In the U.S., he said, "certainly the impression one has is that self-control has gotten increasingly difficult for kids."

American parents want their kids to be patient, of course. We encourage our kids to share, to wait their turn, to set the table and to practice the piano. But patience isn't a skill that we hone quite as assiduously as French parents do. We tend to view whether kids are good at waiting as a matter of temperament. In our view, parents either luck out and get a child who waits well or they don't.

French parents and caregivers find it hard to believe that we are so laissez-faire about this crucial ability. When I mentioned the topic at a dinner party in Paris, my French host launched into a story about the year he lived in Southern California.

He and his wife had befriended an American couple and decided to spend a weekend away with them in Santa Barbara. It was the first time they'd met each other's kids, who ranged in age from about 7 to 15. Years later, they still remember how the American kids frequently interrupted the adults in midsentence. And there were no fixed mealtimes; the American kids just went to the refrigerator and took food whenever they wanted. To the French couple, it seemed like the American kids were in charge.

"What struck us, and bothered us, was that the parents never said 'no,' " the husband said. The children did "n'importe quoi," his wife added.

After a while, it struck me that most French descriptions of American kids include this phrase "n'importe quoi," meaning "whatever" or "anything they like." It suggests that the American kids don't have firm boundaries, that their parents lack authority, and that anything goes. It's the antithesis of the French ideal of the cadre, or frame, that French parents often talk about. Cadre means that kids have very firm limits about certain things—that's the frame—and that the parents strictly enforce these. But inside thecadre, French parents entrust their kids with quite a lot of freedom and autonomy.

Authority is one of the most impressive parts of French parenting—and perhaps the toughest one to master. Many French parents I meet have an easy, calm authority with their children that I can only envy. Their kids actually listen to them. French children aren't constantly dashing off, talking back, or engaging in prolonged negotiations.

One Sunday morning at the park, my neighbor Frédérique witnessed me trying to cope with my son Leo, who was then 2 years old. Leo did everything quickly, and when I went to the park with him, I was in constant motion, too. He seemed to regard the gates around play areas as merely an invitation to exit.

Frédérique had recently adopted a beautiful redheaded 3-year-old from a Russian orphanage. At the time of our outing, she had been a mother for all of three months. Yet just by virtue of being French, she already had a whole different vision of authority than I did—what was possible and pas possible.

Frédérique and I were sitting at the perimeter of the sandbox, trying to talk. But Leo kept dashing outside the gate surrounding the sandbox. Each time, I got up to chase him, scold him, and drag him back while he screamed. At first, Frédérique watched this little ritual in silence. Then, without any condescension, she said that if I was running after Leo all the time, we wouldn't be able to indulge in the small pleasure of sitting and chatting for a few minutes.

"That's true," I said. "But what can I do?" Frédérique said I should be sterner with Leo. In my mind, spending the afternoon chasing Leo was inevitable. In her mind, it was pas possible.

I pointed out that I'd been scolding Leo for the last 20 minutes. Frédérique smiled. She said that I needed to make my "no" stronger and to really believe in it. The next time Leo tried to run outside the gate, I said "no" more sharply than usual. He left anyway. I followed and dragged him back. "You see?" I said. "It's not possible."

Frédérique smiled again and told me not to shout but rather to speak with more conviction. I was scared that I would terrify him. "Don't worry," Frederique said, urging me on.

Leo didn't listen the next time either. But I gradually felt my "nos" coming from a more convincing place. They weren't louder, but they were more self-assured. By the fourth try, when I was finally brimming with conviction, Leo approached the gate but—miraculously—didn't open it. He looked back and eyed me warily. I widened my eyes and tried to look disapproving.

After about 10 minutes, Leo stopped trying to leave altogether. He seemed to forget about the gate and just played in the sandbox with the other kids. Soon Frédérique and I were chatting, with our legs stretched out in front of us. I was shocked that Leo suddenly viewed me as an authority figure.

"See that," Frédérique said, not gloating. "It was your tone of voice." She pointed out that Leo didn't appear to be traumatized. For the moment—and possibly for the first time ever—he actually seemed like a French child.

—Adapted from "Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting," to be published Tuesday by the Penguin Press.

Teamwork

2011-12-27T23:49:00.002+08:00

I'm grateful to whoever up there

2011-12-19T00:38:00.001+08:00

Today met a minor along the expressway. A car driven by a young girl banged my car. Left side of the bumper is dropping and the booth is unable to close now. However, all these problems are minor. What's more important is this.

My pregnant wife and my 2 year ++ going 3 son are all safe and son. I'm just glad that everybody is fine.

Before I sleep tonight, I had fully realized what is been grateful for today. I would like to express my gratitude to whoever up there for keeping my family together today. Everyone is safe and sound.

Thank you so much.

Spanking a child

2011-10-01T00:56:00.002+08:00

A friend of mine said this. "Spanking a child is a shortcut for parents who don’t have the time or patience or the fortitude to go through repeated "talking-tos" or to patiently show the child, repeatedly if necessary, what the proper thing to do would be and the reasons why."

101% agreed.

7 questions from Techrepublic

2011-07-28T16:41:00.000+08:00

Got this article from TechRepublic. You can get the original article from here.

My favorite 7 questions

By John McKee

July 12, 2011, 11:32 AM PDT

Takeaway: Most managers know there’s a lot of insight to be gleaned from talking to the troops. This week John McKee provides his favorite seven questions used by leaders of various organizations.

Great leaders seem to be able to get key information in a matter of seconds. But most can take hours to root out the same information — if they ever get it at all.

Over the years, I’ve found that the hallways (real or virtual) of most organizations, when used effectively, can be great opportunities to keep in touch with the “real world.” However, making the most of quick engagements is a skill most leaders never develop fully. That’s unfortunate because they’re failing to take advantage of one of the best ways to keep in touch.

For those of you who can be lost for words when such opportunities arise, here are seven of my favorite questions for getting in touch with staff. Each one can provide more insight than a two-hour meeting with the entire team:

1. What’s the biggest issue on your plate right now? Most people will respond to this. Often it’s nothing more than a complaint or a status report, but it can lead to another question or two that will be enlightening.

2. If I could do just one thing to make you more successful, what would that be? This one often surfaces ongoing issues that are slowing progress. Usually a lower-level individual could resolve it, but that just hasn’t happened.

3. What’s the dumbest thing the company (or department) is doing (or working on)? Ask this question a few times to different people and you’ll soon find one or two things that should be put to death.

4. If you had my job, what would you focus on? Depending on the level of the person you ask, I assure you that you’ll hear some pretty interesting ideas that otherwise wouldn’t have surfaced. But “little” things can make a big difference to a group’s productivity and satisfaction.

5. What’s waking you up at night? This has two benefits: First it shows who is really thinking a lot about issues that need to be fixed. You should spend more time with them. Second, it can make it clear who treats the job as simply a paycheck. Do you really want them around?

6. Do you have the tools and resources you need to do your job in the best possible way? I’m always amazed at how a project can be stalled by something that is widely available elsewhere in the company.

7. How can I help you to be more successful? This is a great bonding question. If you really mean it and the team believes that to be the case; it can rally them. But don’t ask if you won’t deliver on their feedback.

Feedback is a big factor in the impact of the ongoing success of these hallway conversations. The best leaders get back to the individual who gave the ideas — if you can’t do it personally then send an email or make a call to show that you responded to their suggestion or comment.

Even better: “broadcast” the question, where it came from, and what was changed as a result. This will encourage other people to make suggestions or surface issues that need to be attended to. The cumulative effect will be impressive.

With that in mind — here’s question 8: What’s stopping you from doing this immediately?

Bed-ridden for two days

2011-03-07T22:37:00.000+08:00

ya man. It all started on Friday night when I had my first diarrhea. Not too sure how I got it. But I suspected I got it from my son. He was having loose stools on Friday evening when I changed his diaper. From that moment, I knew something was very wrong but I didn't realize it was contagious.

When my diarrhea didn't stop on Saturday and follow by a vomit. I knew I'm down. And the best part was, that one vomit led to hyperventilation. I was almost breathless and lying on the bed grabbing for oxygen. In the end, wore a mask to control my breath.

Wait until late afternoon when I had a little more strength, struggle to go to the clinic to see my GP. He saw me and knew I'm definitely down. He knows my style very well. I will only see him if I couldn't deal with it and this is one of those days. He said I need a jab to sleep. In my heart was like, so bad meh? Need a jab to sleep?

After the jab, went home and I was in a half awake, half sleeping mode on the bed. Did I really sleep? No idea. I only knew I was trying to control my breathing.

Then came Sunday. I knew my I was losing my stamina because a short walk or sitting down will actually drain my energy. The next thing I knew, I was losing "qi", Time to see Chinese doc. Went to see my usual Chinese doc and her instructions to me was very clear. Take the medicine once every four hours and you will be fine in two days. Wow, she was right. After taking for about one and half days, my "qi" is back. Bear in mind, I also took the medicine in the middle of the night when the four hour timing was up.

The only thing I can say is this, age is catching up liaoz... One simple diarrhea drains so much of my energy. Look at my son!!! He is having it too. Yet he is jumping and running around as usual.

Singapore, a country full of gadgets

2011-02-08T14:28:00.001+08:00

Yes we are. Even in the most private area. Do you know what this is and where is it?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Alkaline Battery Charger. Support Singapore Invention

2011-02-06T09:12:00.001+08:00

Saw this in Carrefour. It's a charger for Alkaline batteries. Interesting right?

And it works! I just charged a pair of AAA Energizer batteries. This means we don't need to buy any more alkaline batteries once we have this gadget.

Go green. Support Singapore Invention.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

三字经

2011-01-13T07:27:00.000+08:00

虽然没有读过圣经，
念了一点佛经，
曰曰听了三字经，
人心也会清。

It's my birthday!!! Review of 2010 and moving forward to 2011

2011-01-03T01:25:00.000+08:00

haha...

They said when you have kids, your time will definitely fly faster than you think. I think they are absolutely right. I think it is even faster when your kid is just born one day after you!!! Each time when your birthday is round the corner, your kid birthday is going to take priority!!!

ya man... tomorrow my son is turning two and his Papa is going to reach his forty soon. Time to take stock and see what happened in my 2010 and moving forward for 2011.

Making a different in someone life. I always wanted to sponsor a child but never take any action. It was until the birth of my son that I started to realize how important life is. There are many life out there waiting for a second chance and we should take the opportunity to give them. After all, sponsoring a child does not cost us an arm or a leg. It does not take a rocket science to sponsor a child. In fact, what it needs from us to just making some minor lifestyle adjustment. In fact, for most of us, we don't even know that that little amount will actually make a different in someone life in the coming years. I have been to some parts of the World whereby you will question the existence of God. You may wonder why I said that. Actually, these are not my words. They are words from my ex-colleague who live in those place. I had been there, seen that, lived with them somehow and it had totally changed my life. If you wish to make a different in someone life, please click here.
Encouraging a friend to sponsor a child. You know who you are. Well done and thank you.
回家重要还是手机重要? Which is more important? Going home or my iPhone? My iPhone was snatched outside Ave K in KL, during my last trip to KL in 2010. Actually, it was last week. I was walking outside Ave K with my iPhone in my hand. At that point, I could hear the scooter sound behind me but it didn't bother me as I knew it may not have any chance. However, what I didn't realize is I need to make a left turn that give this thief a chance to snatch it from me. However, he was inexperienced and he did not accelerate his scooter. In fact, I had the opportunity to chase him and get it back but I didn't. Why? Because I want to go home. For the first time in my life, I realized it is time for me to go home. It just an phone anyway. Let him have it. My son is waiting for me at home. Standing at the door, giving me his sweetest smile and called me Papa... I think, that is more worth than the iPhone.
Making friends. I have made more friends in the past two years than in the past twenty years. Simply because of the birth of my son. Knew more mummies and daddies. Sharing the similar vision. Discussing same challenges together and of course, some beers together as well. I hope this will go on as long as it can be so that the gang can continue to give each other support one way or another.
My son had taught me the power of selective listening. Kids don't plray plray. If we accept the fact that they are smarter than us, then we will realize these little cuties have a lot of things for us to learn. There is a lot of time when I thought my son cannot make it, he just did it. I told him no, I told him be careful and I told him 小心。However, he just ignored me and took his next step forward. Till today, he continues to impress me on those little things he can achieve, which I thought he cannot. This remind me of a story about this frog that jump to a height when the rest continue to discourage him. In fact, this frog is deaf and the frog was simply following the rest, jumping to where everyone wanted to go.
My son taught me to be more patience, and learnt to see things from the children eyes. The previous generation has no access to many things such as how to communicate or to teach a child. However, this generation is different. We have access to books, attends courses or to share from those who are experts in childhood eduction. This is something my parents didn't know or know little. They do not have much education and they struggle to feed the family. Like many families, their only way to raise or to teach kids is either through canning or shouting. Do I hate that? Yes I do when I was young. Do I understand why now? I do. Will I repeat the same pattern? My answer is no. There will be others who will say since I was raised this way, I will continue to do it. To me, this is a viscous cycle. If you do not like to be treated this way by your parents, why do you want to continue this pattern to your kids?
Barefoot running is the way to go. After spending so much money on the most technology advanced shoes, I only come to realize the most technology advanced shoe is actually our feet. Running barefoot is the safest way to run. It actually cushions our body naturally and does not give rise to knee caps or lower back problem. After running barefoot for more than 20km, I did not experience such problems except calf and thigh muscles sore. After receiving Chiropractic treatment and observing how my son run, I have concluded barefoot running is the way to go.
My career and health. Made a decision to move on and I think I had made the right decision. Moving up the career ladder is tough and one must strike a balance between career, family and health. I think these three pillars are very critical. Some people said they work hard for the family. They work so hard until their health deterioriate, do you call that work hard for the family? Your family may sacrifice not seeing you because you work hard for them, do you still want them to sacrifice to look after you when you no longer can work hard for them? As for me, I will continue to pop those bottles of supplements, run 10 to 20 km per week and last but not least, I must go back to my gym routines.
The number is fixed. Cannot reveal here. hehe... But I have set a goal what the number should be for my bank account. Wakaka...
35mm 1.4. This is to complete my 1.4 trinity lens collection. Beautiful photos must come with capable equipments.
I hope there will be a new family member. Then all my toys investment won't be wasted.
Sponsoring another child. This is what I am thinking now.

2011 main focus:

Continue to build my career.
Start to build passive income.
Have another little one.
Contribute to Urgent gifts every month for those needy kids.
35mm 1.4.
Run a marathon barefoot.

Malaysia boleh

2010-11-24T07:50:00.001+08:00

KLIA Aerotrain Service Unavailable Due to Upgrading

01 November 2010

The Aerotrain service at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) will be unavailable from 1 November 2010 to 15 March 2011, due to upgrading work. Complimentary shuttle service will be provided by KLIA during this period.

Customers arriving at KLIA can proceed to the shuttle bus lounge at Gate C5 for transfer to the Main Terminal building for baggage collection, immigration and customs clearance.

For customers departing from KLIA, they may proceed to the shuttle bus lounge located directly below the Aerotrain station at the Main Terminal building. The drop off point at the Satellite building will be Gate C11.

Information on the pickup and dropoff points will also be placed around the airport and at check-in counters.

Six words to describe my life

2010-11-21T13:49:00.001+08:00

Simple life is a beautiful life.

Becoming a Billionaire

2010-10-05T13:14:00.002+08:00

Let's imagine there are 100 people from all walks of life taking a test to become a billionaire.

1) Do you want to be a billionaire? Yes or No?
We can imagine that all of them will say yes.

2) Do you have $1000 to invest?
We can imagine most of them will have this amount money. Right?

3) Last question, will you read a book 12 times so that you can become a billionaire?
We can imagine all of them will say yes. However, how many of them will commit to read this book 12 times so that they can become a billionaire? Nobody knows. But what we do know is that there aren't many billionaires out there.

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Bill Gates speech: 11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school by Kent Summer

2010-09-14T08:29:00.000+08:00

You can read the original post here.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Every child has an equal opportunity in life. Is that true?

2010-09-08T01:25:00.004+08:00

Before having Matt, I never thought of this. I only know every child is special, but just don't know why they are special. The other day, while I was in the lift, a kid came in with a box of colour pencils.

So I asked him is that for school? He said yes. He asked me where is baby? I told him at nanny's place. Wow, this kid know I have a baby!!! I never strike any conversation with any of these kids before Matt. Nowadays, I'm kind of able to connect with them. Strange but it is definitely interesting.

All of us talk about having to work hard for our kids, giving them the best and having positively impact their life. However, have we ever thought that we can impact other kids positively as well? There are many kids out there who are in need of help and of course, there is no way we can help them all.

But what if we can just give one child a chance? To us is a small effort, to them is a tremendous impact...Something they hope and pray for.

Give them a chance and impact their life positively. One at a time. Click here to find out more.

Miele or others?

2010-08-22T07:20:00.003+08:00

Always wanted to get a Miele when the current washing breakdown and yes, my good old Brandt WFK1060 had gone wild. I have no idea why and perhaps, it is time to retire it.

Actually, getting a Miele is a brainless thing. If you buy Miele, you will never go wrong. It is like buying a Volvo, you are driving it for life. Same for Miele, you use it for life. It can last you 15 years. No joke. My Brandt WFK1060 lasted me 6 years will 1000RPM all the time. So, it has done his job well.

So that day, I called the repairman guy to come to my house and check whether he could revive it. His first reaction when he saw my washing machine ,"Wow... so old liao!"

I told him,"Uncle, I expect him to last for 10 years leh..."
He said,"6 years very good already. Your washing machine short-circuit already and drum got problem. If repair it, might as well buy a new one."
In my mind,"haiz... Why like that?"
So I asked him,"Uncle, which brand?"
He said,"Buy back Brandt lah. Good. Thomson is our expensive brand. No need to buy that lah. I give you this number, you call this guy. He can give you better discount than those store out there."

Since he is the expert in washing machines, so I asked him all my technical questions on various brands. In the end, I will settle for another Brandt.

So after he left, without second thought, I called the guy and ordered my new washing machine. Thereafter, I asked myself. Your Miele how? I think next time when this new one breakdown. Now with a boy who loves to play washing machine, I think if I buy Miele, it will last 15 days instead of 15 years.

BTW, the machine had arrived yesterday and I have no complaint. Tilted drum, quiet spin@1000RPM compared to the previous one. Very good. I'm a happy man. Good service too. Ordered on Friday 1pm and delivered on Saturday 1pm. 24 hours response time. Better than some of those big IT vendors out there.

Marriage

2010-08-19T16:23:00.001+08:00

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Car, SQ Shares and Worldvision

2010-08-15T12:54:00.002+08:00

Recently, my wife's friend is leaving Singapore for good and she has a Subaru Wagon for sale. She can sell us cheap cheap around 28K and this car only has 40K mileage. This is a 2006 car.

To be frank, this is very tempting. Just think about it. With a car, I can drive my family around during weekends. Bring my son to Zoo or Bird park without a second thought. Go to my mum's place anytime of the week. I can fetch my wife to and from work when I'm in Singapore. The best part is, I love to fetch my wife from my work together with my son.

So, if there is so much wonderful points, why am I not getting a car? Maybe I'm too calculative, or maybe I just felt that if I have 28k, might as well I use the money to buy 2 lots of SQ shares. At least with the dividends, I can put it for other usage. Maybe to buy more shares?

If I have 28k to buy the car, why not I take out a small sum of it to support a child (http://www.world vision.com)? It will make a huge difference to their life than my life and to my family.

After much thought, car is not my priority at this point of time. My priority is still capital appreciation with low liability.

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