on the tip of my tongue

Isolation is not good for me

2009-03-24T09:13:00.002-05:00

anthropomophism

2009-03-19T08:15:00.002-05:00

Sis sent me a video of dolphins making bubble rings, I loved it. Inevitably, I started to think about contained behavior vs. wild behavior. Would they learn to make these playthings in the wild? I know animals play, sometimes without an obvious relation to prey/predator learning or dominance/submission. Perhaps no relation at all: what meaningful behavior does the otter learn by sliding down a wet muddy hill repeatedly, or as in Winterdance , buffalo taking turns sliding down a snow covered hill on their butts onto a frozen lake in Alaska?

There was a comment chain (with the dolphin video) about the dolphins looking at their bubble creation with appreciation, identifying that thought as anthropomorphic. My thought is this: humans so often think that emotions and behavior are human based, not animal based, when it seems obvious to me that all animals have complex emotions on some level. My dogs feel fear, jealousy, happiness, sadness, loss, have abandonment issues, have humor and so on which is easily determined by body language, just as you can tell by body language what another human is feeling. What is the difference?

Additionally, the dophins are described as the 'second' most intelligent animals on the planet. How is it not ridiculous that humans get to create the intelligence test, take it themselves, then crown themselves king? Or queen as the case may be? What is intelligence and could it be defined as ability to be happy & survive? Would we not then rate near the bottom of the 'smart' heap? At this moment we are steadily killing ourselves and the planet at the same time... how intelligent is that?

Cusp of the new

2009-03-16T13:15:00.002-05:00

I'm better now, it's sunny and warm for 4 days now, so it has had an affect. Or it was you cheering me up. Or conversations with my sis and bro who are so wonderful. Actually, if I didn't have to work (ok, LOOK for work), I could find something really fun to do, like volunteer 3 days a week at the recycle, since budget cuts closed it all but 4 hours a week. I would meet lots of people in town then! Or go horseback riding every day from 8 to noon, then create a web site and public TV show on how to cope when you don't have money...have fun when you don't have money, I mean. Just think of all the people I could interview, like the lady in the next town over who has created an artform of savings out of couponing. Or out of work contractors who can take discarded wood and frame out a door, showing you how each step of the way. Less expensive ways to have a date with your partner once a week (or start having dates because money troubles create conflict!!!). Making a game out of spending less money on everything can be fun, so long as you have a forum for bragging!

I heard once that it is not good easy times that create change, new ideas, unique solutions, it is adversity and hardship. I wonder if that is true. What do you think?

looking for work

2009-03-10T10:07:00.004-05:00

Did I tell you that I am looking for a job? Oh, right, I did. I didn't tell too many people in person, it is a difficult thing being home looking, going out to interview on that rare occaision I find a job to apply and hearing all the terrible news about the economy. Plus there's that dog over my back fence. Normally an optimist, trusting that things will work out for the best, I have a more difficult time sharing the negative feelings so I thought to do it here.

I have to admit, I am struggling to be an optimist with 30 to 50 applicants for every position. Still being choosey, I am not applying for any and every job out there.... trying not to listen to the news, but it just finds you. People call me just to tell me the new bad news they just heard... Unemployment figures were issued last Friday and I was overwhelmed with despair. Waves of it hit me as I was driving in the afternoon. Sun was shining, it was warm, usually this is a cheering thing but this time they just made it worse (I should be happy! ). I could barely steer, my whole body was weighted down with each wave. Has this ever happened to you?

I just kept putting one proverbial foot in front of the other that day, went to a (cheap seats) movie at home, made some popcorn, pretended I was exhausted from a long week of work and went to bed early. Somehow, you just have to keep going on, right?

Does anyone have positive stories about looking for work to share? I really need them even if they are just funny or wry.

storms in the country

2009-03-02T07:44:00.004-06:00

Lightening is a different force in the country, in my midwestern country. In town it is exciting and interesting, but in the country it is wild and dangerous. The land is flat and you can see a storm coming for miles. The 1st time I looked at my farm(ette) it was storming, there was a hole in the old basement crawl space like a spigot just pouring water, and as I left lightening struck near the road at the driveway. Just a big bang and flash right at the side of the truck, I nearly went in the ditch.

I bought the house in early spring, storm season, brought the dogs and horses with me, even though the fencing and the barn weren't ready. There were two tall pines on my little farm, not too far from the house by the round pen the horses were in while the barn was under construction. I loved those two pines, so straight, taller than anything else in the area. I was watching them bend in the wind late one afternoon when the radio said that a big storm was coming. Not much I could do to prepare other than keep the radio on and get the dogs in.

Lightening walked across the neighbors' fields like a giant's legs marching in a parade with thunder splitting the air at each step. I was overcome with worry about possible hail and worried about the two pines drawing a stike and killing the horses. My partner and I ran out to the round pen to put halters on the horses and take them to the half completed barn. I had installed rail gates on each end, so we could at least get them under shelter. We could only see to put the halters on by the lightening flashes, it was pitch black. The horses weren't nearly as nervous as we were, at least they weren't nervous until we got there and started fumbling around. Right before the last halter was on, lightening struck in my back field, I was looking up as it flashed and saw the clouds rotating. For some reason this calmed me, if it were our time at least we were all together.

The barn was steel sided and roofed. When we got under shelter, the hail started It was LOUD from the hail, so loud I couldn't even hear the horses running around, so black I couldn't see them either and by now they were scared. Even the lightening didn't help. I hung on to my bay's mane and stayed with him until he calmed a little and I could make it over to the gate. We were both lucky not to be trampled. After we got back inside the rain started, and the storm was basically over. Next day I heard the news that a tornado struck about 1/4 mile from us, but no one was hurt.

I would be interested to hear your storm story! Leave a comment to tell it to me, or a link to your blog, thanks!

Bravery

2009-02-26T06:44:00.007-06:00

Once, scuba diving was my sole passion. I lived for being under water, often feeling claustrophobic if I missed a weekend diving. There was a beach just past Nanakuli on Oahu that had a formal name but we all called it Pray for Sex; someone had spraypainted it on a rock out in the water years ago. At first I thought prayforsex was some kind of Hawaiian word, just goes to show... well don't know what it shows, but there it is.
I beach dove there, then when we had a little dive boat we would put in at Nanakuli boat dock and motor up. One sunny morning we motored up and dove just off the promentary on a reef. When I dive I live totally in my head, you can't really talk and unless there is something urgent, no need to do so. I was poking around looking at the animals living on the reef and saw two tiny shrimp in a cave about the size of my gloved finger. (check out the link, they are really cute;http://www.petshrimp.com/hawaiianredshrimp.html ) They were hanging out by the front, but when they saw me both retreated into the cave. I pointed at the cave to my dive buddy and one of the shrimp bristled and came at my finger. My finger was bigger around at the tip than the entire shrimp, but that shrimp came right at me! I pulled my finger away and he followed it out, snapping his little arm and springing into the 'air'. He did this a couple of times, then I left him alone.
The rest of the dive, and yet today even, I couldn't get it out of my head how brave he was, that teeny tiny shrimp.

First Impressions

2009-02-25T09:32:00.003-06:00

I discovered One Minute Writer today, click on my First Impressions Title and it will take you there too (but 1st, don't you want to read my blog story?). I was caught by one of the daily writing prompts; to write about a first impression. Check out the link for yourself, I liked it.

I was in the Navy and had just transferred to the Pearl Harbor repair facility. I had been stationed in Great Lakes for 5 years, where only 10% of the personnel were women. Odd experience. Anyway, I needed to pick up an amplifier from a ship in drydock so I grabbed my toolbag and caught a ride over. This was the 1st time I had seen a ship in drydock, very impressive; large sections of the walls were cut out to bring in new equipment, the deafening welding, sanding, drilling, loud clanging and men crawling all over the ship. I put in my earplugs & picked my way through the controlled madness to the deck two floors below. The ship's electrical was disconnected so cords were strung everywhere to bring lighting in to the work areas, but it was still dim. I was starting to be a little intimidated and overwhlemed. When I walked into the room, welders were working with the arc lights blazing and acrid smell of the metal hanging in the room. I had a quick flash of wierdness from being the only woman in the room, an odd 'out of place' feeling like I didn't belong there. Then the welding stopped, three of the welders took off their faceshields and turned around to say hi. They were all women.

I still laugh about that and it was 20 years ago.

What not to do when you aren't working

2009-02-24T15:27:00.001-06:00

The first thing not to do is stare out the windows. Go out or stay in, but don't look at your neighbor's dog. I did it, I don't recommend it. The dog sits out in the kennel all day, barks for attention when its owner comes home, doesn't get any, so lays in the snow. Waiting. Waiting. No water because the water bucket was kicked over, no attention since it is only fed once a day in the morning. (I keep typing moron for morning, go figure). The shed has a wooden pallet to sleep on so there are thick sores on its legs from laying on it (yes I used the binos, don't do that either). At least on the night it hit 30 below (windchill) he took the dog in. Guess he figured 20 below was OK.

The 2nd thing not to do is call the cops to go talk to the guy. He gets mad and comes over and yells. Since I am not working, I was here for it. And the dog suffered for two days without water, retribution maybe. (binos, again, checking for footsteps to the kennel)

And the 3rd thing? Remember that the humane officer is very busy in the rural areas since their funding was CUT to give tax breaks to people to buy cars and they just pass the phone call on to the police. And the guy comes over and yells. Cycle of no water, repeat. Something awful about dogs eating snow...

Billboarding

2009-02-24T15:11:00.000-06:00

Every so often something happens that I feel the need to post a rant, question, or a comment on a billboard. A big one, by the highway so people see it when they are driving in to work. I don't do it 'cause I'm broke, but I dream of it, streamline my thoughts into the atomosphere, even focus on the exact billboard I want to use.

As in "Why do I always buy a house next to the guy that doesn't feed, water, or shelter his DOG! Just how many of YOU are there?" Or "Stop talking about tax credits for people who buy a new car! People who can buy a car don't need the credit. People who can't buy a car need JOBS not credits!"

Stuff like that.

So you are going to hear it. I hope you aren't reading this on your way to work.