Mind Mixxes

Piece of My Soul

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 13 Nov 2015 18:19:00 +0000

The last few times that I read the stuff I wrote earlier has made me cringe. I would like to think that I've become a tad more interesting in the last couple of years. I want to write for myself now - cut the bullshit and just share what I really think. It's so much like therapy - I hear a lot of people everyday and try to absorb a lot. Occupational hazard; but I don't get to express as much. I love the touch and go interactions and keep it as real as I can. I don't understand the lack of emotion, lack of sincerity and I despise these type boring meaningless interactions.

I don't understand a large part of the world around me and I worry sometimes if something is wrong with me because of this. I create and live in a bubble in my own head. I like to see brightness, positivity, hope and color in the world and people. Despite bad experiences; it may be naive but I still really want to hold on to this - I don't want to kill a part of my personality for the sake of maturity. Vulnerability keeps it real. It's all about people and their feelings. If we all lived in a world where we truly cared for each other and allowed ourselves to feel the full extent of the damage / effect of our words and actions - wouldn't it be much better? Everyone of us has a story and when I hear so many of these stories I feel a big huge gap in my heart open up and relate to every persons point of view. There is always another side and people really just need someone to believe in them and suggest that it's all headed in the right direction. Keep delivering this message constantly. I'm so fortunate to have a rock solid family / friends around me - who always add this layer of sturdy belief when I'm constantly second guessing everything. Not sure I can function without this.

Being surrounded by overly intelligent, overly analytical people is draining in energy for me. I have to keep adding surplus of that positivity - reality checks can wait you know. We all have reality checks randomly - just being sensitive, giving some space in your heart and head to someone and trying to figure out their story before being judging about their success / money / position is important in my opinion. Isn't success a phase that will come and go - compassion is the core of what makes us human and not animal. Sad to see many of my good friends have changed to protect themselves and I wish they didn't have to. I don't think I have any right to complain either because I haven't fixed anyone's problem but in my own way sharing a bit of my soul - truly with the people who's lives I tough, keeping it real, keeping it fun, bringing happiness and brightness around me is my way of making a difference today. People are awesome at their core - God help us in holding on to this belief.

Clearly, I'm not on the way to solving a nuclear crisis or global warming or financial crisis. :)

Change

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 05:41:00 +0000

I decided to ditch this blog so many times because like a blogging wannabe I went and opened my big mouth and told almost everyone I know about the blog and really that was the worst idea ever. So I'm going to write another anonymous top secret blog. But I wont ditch this one, this is my baby. I feel like I've grown up and grown down with this blog. In the last 2 years a lot has changed in my life and a lot hasn't changed. The changes are mostly personal, professional, geographical. I got married to my boyfriend and have a baby now :)) all great things. I changed jobs that was not such a good thing but it's always very clear in my head that if I have to choose between personal and professional happiness I will always choose personal; you know where the heart beats and all that. I noticed that with these changes a lot of people have changed around me; some friends are more distant, some have come closer, some are no longer friends. Specially with the baby some are sharing some really disturbing birthing details which is in any world seriously grosse.

What hasn't changed is me, the person. I have not suddenly become the dreadful mother that only talks about their kid. I am only my baby's mother, not your mother or mother india or mother earth. I love my baby and his father loves him and he does bring so much joy to our lives and we are blessed. However, its very personal. I know that the world is not interested in my kid, his grandparents are, but not the world. What hasn't changed is my personality, my look is thankfully back to normal too. My thought process is the same too, maybe better coz im just more open to accepting how much I suck now than ever before. I have gotten older of course; crossing 25 was not easy.... 26 is a hard hitter it kind of puts life in perspective and shakes you up. what is my real acheivement at 26? Considering my goal is to retire from the corporate rung at 35 I dont think im so far away. Now I want to retire at 40, a lottery may push it up again. God, you listening? Please push back all your world peace plans and shift the focus to this lowly souls' early retirement plans. So me being the same person and all imagine my surprise when people suddenly start acting all strange and weird around me after my marriage and then after the baby. The shifty eyes, the lack of conversational topics, the rush to run away all confirmed only one thing. Have I become uninteresting? That's not true! I've become more self centered and bitchy but uninteresting is not it. My optimism has officially gone from mildly annoying to "seriously WTF"!

This is a very Indian concept one among the long list of our cultural flaws that people seriously think their life is over after marriage. When fact is that your life actually begins after marriage, after a kid they announce your funeral never to see your face again. I was trying to understand the reason behind this and I kid you not I know some people have gone completely bonkers after their marriages. What surprises me the most is how we can give such little importance to world hunger, major wars, tax increases and almost completely focus on some really meaningless little issues that we blow up in our heads. When i read my diary a couple of days ago I wished I was an ostrich and dug my head somewhere for a couple of years, so embaressing my problems were. I promised myself not to obsess over petty things and offer any detailed explanations but to quietly smarten up. Lets see how it works out for me. :)

Despite all the positive changes in my life, I have loads of spunk and more. Whoever is scared that I will bombard them with baby stuff, that is not happening don't worry. cheesy as it is, the only thing constant in life is change is very true. A true sign of friendship is to embrace change in ourselves and our friends. Life full of twists and turns is amazing and everything always works out for the best, eventually. Naive much!? Whatever....

The Black White Syndrome

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 16:46:00 +0000

I have a disease and it's incurable... it's going to stay with me for a lifetime and the more I try to delve into it the more it gets worst! The name of this disease is "The Black White Syndrome"; it's extremely rare and dangerous but not at all contagious. It eventually kills, your social life and your circle of friends and your circle of relatives to probably the barest minimum if you're extremely lucky or to none if you're not! I know only 1 or 2 people with this disease, I used to think that this is a good thing when it started out. Now as this poison has spread and started showing the symptoms; I'm starting to think that I'm going to end up most probably psyched. The reason I call it a disease is because other people are fine and it seems to affect only me! Explaining it a little bit is going to be a hope to find a cure or to find the strength to live with it.

Let's start at the beginning, not when there was light but my humble little diseased beginning. The black white syndrome is an addiction that I chose to get into and eventually can't seem to get out of. I personally had a lot of complications and issues in my life with people because of my own hypocrisy and sort of followed the norm and went with it. So when I didn't like somebody; I never made it obvious to them, I never told anyone anything negative or hurtful about themselves on their face (I felt negative and took it out behind people's backs), I gave a very sympathetic ear to a lot of people who came to me with their problems even though i didn't feel an ounce of sympathy for them, I complimented people on stuff I didn't care about just for the heck of it, I tried to keep a lot of people happy at the same time. The result of this was that it seemed to work about 50% of the time and I was miserable the rest of the time. The relationships I had were never really deep or meaningful. Everyone was disposable basically. I definitely wasn't happy and a lot of people I was trying to make happy were actually pretending to be happy. Wow that just got really complex! Basically someone really kind showed me my erroneous ways and introduced me to this black white syndrome. I'm hooked since then, I'm happier but a lot of people aren't happy. I couldn't care less really, this is just me boasting! ;))

Well, what it really is this black white thing is that it's a state of mind. It means you view the world in 2 colors of right or wrong (white or black). It's a very hard thing for others to deal with but makes the diseased persons life a whole lot easier and better. Now if I have a problem with someone or I don't like them - I simple don't speak to them or act enthusiastic towards them. I don't compliment people unless I really feel it. I don't make friends with everyone unless they show some kind of strong trust factor. I put people to the test before trusting them information or sharing aspects of my life with them. Most people fail the test at some point and I move on; it doesn't matter. I don't see how it should matter so much; there are more than 5 or 6 billion or trillion people in the world and more being born everyday. Why does it matter if I like someone or not? There are new friends to make and new people to explore; no sweat over the ones that didn't work out. It also doesn't mean that they're necessarily bad people or something is wrong with them; it just means they don't fit in your life.

So yeah I'm well adjusted with my disease; it has its advantages and disadvantages. But i love the simplification it adds to my life.... so if you're not affected with the black white syndrome maybe you should consider it. Grey areas are not at all fun and confusion is fucking boring!

Ass U Me

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 18 May 2011 18:00:00 +0000

OLA! The one thing that I wanted to do incessantly was blogging and blogging I did! Honestly, i t was all happening in my mind. After a long gap and a sudden burst of energy at 2 am I am going to bring all the "crazy alone talk" to the more acceptable and understanding internet :)) The title of this post is "assume" the age old cliché about 'making an ass out of u and me' has never ever been so true as it is today. The truth stares at me and pokes me and urges me to spill the beans. You see I belong to the people industry; simply put the business of selling people to people. OMG! that makes me a sound like a pimp.... NO! I am a recruiter, my expertise is people, we find the best for the best, get you that perfect person, perfect job.... blah blah blah.... but I love this job. It has truly enriched my life. I have seen such idiots that they have set a perfect example of how-not-to-be! Since I have the ultimate privilege of observing and working closely with a lot of people and I don't like honest work; I get cheap thrills by stealing from people!

Yes, its true I think I've met some of the best people who were kind enough to teach me so much through their actions. I have stolen their knowledge, their experience, their ideas that work and applied it to my life and its awesome ;) People's mistakes tend to be more preachy than the right things they do. I also observe behavior keenly like some self proclaimed shrink that doesn't get paid. Main observation - People are always assuming. Assuming in relationships, at work, assuming about life, accidents even inanimate objects! Assuming about the future, making detailed plans for the next 4 years.... its focking crazy. Look at me getting all self righteous. But, I'm so trying not to assume, I do it too... a lot in fact. When a friend doesn't call or talk for some time it's always that she's probably pissed at me coz I probably said something I shouldn't have. How do I call her? What do I say to her? Will she talk to me? OMG forget it, I'm not calling her... she should call me. Reality -The friend was sick, needed help! I should've call her.... But I regret that now...

It gets even worse with the people that don't know how to put words to their thoughts. Everyone can express, expressing your strong opinion without offending someone is an art! It's an art everyone should and must learn, it is the most important investment of time you will ever make in your life! I had the most amazing ex- boss who would do this so so beautifully that after he spoke I was always left open mouthed... but I closed my mouth quickly and tried to steal from him too! The solution is to always put yourself in the other person's shoes and act the right way. Most of the time we are too obsessed with what we want and proving a point. Giving people the benefit of doubt, being more understanding and open about your true feelings will definitely make more friends and people will flock you like bees to honey. Then you pick n choose haha! But the point is investing time and effort in those relationships that have "apparently" cracked. Is it worth it? Yes it is, it pays back ten fold no twenty fold. When people turn around and change the whole world is bliss, you're at peace, you feel amazing, OMG this is amazing I think we discovered to solution to the world crisis. STOP ASSUMING NOW! Communicate more.... communicate openly, share your fun and amazing true inner self with people, it's a whole new world waiting to open to you! :D :D

You Are a Celebrity – Really??

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 26 May 2009 17:52:00 +0000

People get really nervous and shifty around me these days because they think that I will blog about them. I have repeatedly assured them that I have never written about them. I have never revealed their identities and yet they all have these terrible guilt trips about things I have written. I want to put an end to all controversies once and for all, I will surely blog about people who are interesting and you are interesting. Why do I write about you? Because I consider it to be my own special private mission to bring fame to the fameless, to bring glory to the ordinary, to give them their 15 seconds of fame and anonymity together. I write about you because I want to make you the celebrity that you were born to be. Plus all kinds of publicity is good, so come on, be a sport. This comes from Rica's blog– It is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. So I accept this task with a lot of humility and I take it very very seriously. I care about you. I really do and that’s why I want to share with the world in my own little way how very special you are. I want to publicize your special quirks, your funny habits, your wicked ways and basically how amazing it is to be involved with such entertaining people. You are the people that make my ultra boring life so entertaining and exciting.

It’s time to share those strong opinions and ridiculous ideas. I think that most of the famous people, the celebrities, stars, actors, dance show winners, politicians are all over hyped. They are worse than the worst. They are focking hypocrites who lead double lives with no shame or guilt; they have terrible double standards and are the lowliest of low lives ever to walk planet earth. Why? Everything about them is a lie, the way they look – Seriously, If I have 12 people working on my look every day, the clothes, make-up, body, hair, I am totally sure that I would kick their asses in that department. Go visit this site and look at it carefully, you’ll totally be on board with me – www.awfulplasticsurgery.com I love this site, I go on an uncontrollable ego trip after I visit this site, they show the celebrities with their bad hair, facial hair, side boobs and the likes. Oh, they have a special section which is called ‘boobs today gone tomorrow’. Our superstars get their noses fixed, eyes fixed, bodies fixed and everything else fixed to look as beautiful and unreal as they do on screen. So, we successfully determine that they look fake.

Their lives, their very public private lives, the sagas of so called love, sex, steam and dream are wide open for us to see. There is one class of the society that has benefitted immensely from this, they owe their little bundles of money and happiness to the celebrities – these are the paparazzi, the gossip columnists, 24 hour news channels and the likes. There are so many stories out there about our dear beloved celebrities and public personalities we don’t know what to believe anymore. There is little or no truth in the apologies and the scandals, we can dig into every scandal and find a minimum of ten theories about what exactly happened. Each of these theories is nastier than the other and the sad fact is that one of them is true!

With such terrible people as public personalities I have lost all hope in celebrities. I am not an easy believer and I am not at all gullible. I feel like there are better things to do than to talk about our miserable public personalities. Let’s make celebrities out of each other, YOU are interesting with all the funny habits, embarrassing goof ups, imperfections, all put together. The biggest honour to you is that you are one hundred per cent real! You are a celebrity and people should know about you, I take it upon myself to make you famous through my writing. The reason people read this stuff is because it’s interesting, the reason any material is interesting is because the inspiration is interesting. You are my inspiration. You are truly unique and people love to read about you. So I say that instead of being shifty around me, show your true glorified self and give me an opportunity to make a celebrity out of you. Because you’re worth it!

The Ultra Boring Life

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 21 May 2009 09:22:00 +0000

I’ve been getting some very interesting suggestions for blogging, one of the friends suggested that I blog about my life. Seriously! Blog about my life, here is some very interesting info about me don’t even care for and so I take the pleasure of sharing it with you. I have a ridiculously boring life, for starters I have a job that I love a lot and it is extremely exciting for me. Terribly boring for others, the typical corporate stuff, clients and servicing and the lot that corporate life brings with itself. The fact that this stuff excites me says it all. Also, I feel it’s easier to blog about things you hate than about things you love, because there are always people that hate the same things as you and they read your stuff and go – way to go! If you write about things you love people go like – ‘you suck, you like stupid shit’ so I will not blog about my job because it is boring for a lot of people. But, the people at work, wow, now that is a really interesting topic and I want to make celebrities out of them, they are addictive is all I can say for now.

The most important part of my life, my personal life, this is terribly boring for everyone and even me sometimes. But, what to do I’m in love with my life and as they say, love is blind. I am involved with ‘cool boy’ I will call him cool boy here but he’s the exact opposite of cool ;) well needless to say this has been the same boring story for the last four years and my friends are tired of me. They say, “WTF you’re still with him, see since I’ve known you, I’ve been with 4 or 5 different people and you’re still on ‘cool boy’ wowo you need to spice up your life.” So, people’s perception of excitement and my perception of exciting is totally different.

I know some very few people who lead this ‘so called’ ridiculously boring life and are thoroughly satisfied. But, they are all wicked like me, we find entertainment from other people’s lives, stories, fiction and if we don’t find fiction. HELL we make up fiction.

Conclusion – I am an interesting wicked person but I have a boring life, so I will spare you the rant about my life and talk to you about more interesting things. Things that we hate together as we are united in hate and despise much more than in love! We are the true sadists of this century and we are proud to be so, we are called the blogging community. Bloggers I am glad I got hooked on this addiction. Greatness be with us forever!

Connected 24/7

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 09 May 2009 07:34:00 +0000

I was just wondering how amazing it is that the internet unites us. We take so many things for granted, one of them is having every single one of our contacts haunting us day and night on the internet. Nothing is sacred anymore, everywhere you go, they go with you. You see glimpses of every person’s life without actually being there and similarly they see glimpses of your life without really being there. You update your status on Facebook, Twitter, Orkut, your blog, and everywhere else. If someone wants to find you, all they have to do is click a Goddamn button. Wow, what a feat we have achieved. This shit creeps the hell out of me!

I mean I know that I get to stay connected and close with everyone, you don’t feel lonely and all that jazz. But, wait a minute; are you sailing in the same boat as me? I mean, are you human? If you are you must’ve surely done this, I am not the only mean person in the whole world. There are so many times when you don’t want to talk to people, when you are avoiding people on purpose. You said bye-bye to people in the past and walked out of their lives, you prefer it like that. In my case, I don’t call these people, don’t answer their calls, they don’t have my number – I change it every three months (just in case!). Now, here I am going through such great lengths to avoid some people. I take a different route, I know where they hangout so I don’t visit the same places at the same time. Believe me, I try hard to not bump into them anywhere. If by some weird coincidence I do get a call or something, my ultimate statement is that I am too busy. Don’t be fooled, I really am busy, but we all know that even if we work 14 hours a day, there are those one or two hours that you could squeeze in for someone you really wanted to meet. It has to be someone rrrreaally special for me to give up on precious sleep.

After going through all this I was relaxed and assured that people I didn’t want to meet wouldn’t find me. But, I was sadly mistaken. One day, I’m working peacefully on my blog and suddenly out of nowhere this annoying ‘BUZZ’ sound accompanies a really irritating picture. This is the instant message of someone I left behind like 3 years ago. In my life, 3 years is a very very long time! Let’s name this certain someone – ‘Annoying’. So, Annoying is like – hey, how’re you and where are you and what’s happening and all the hyperactive jazz. My response to this is – okay, I’m here, working and living my ultra boring life. But, I am very happy. You should’ve been there to see that chat, this person sends me their number, Facebook invite, twitter follow and everything else. Moreover, I was even blamed for avoiding Annoying. Hey, if I knew someone was avoiding me or had a slight hint of that, I would never approach the person. Self respect – Where are you? I know this post sounds extremely mean, but believe me, you will not think so once you know why I was avoiding Annoying.

Now, I’m really freaked out to go online on some of my old accounts, God know who will jump at me and want to get back in touch. I am a firm believer of the life goes on, live in the present, don’t dwell on the past theories. As far as Annoying goes, so far I’ve done a fabulous job and have not ‘bumped into’ Annoying anywhere.

Random Privacy Invasion

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 05 May 2009 05:07:00 +0000

I recently had the misfortune of meeting and extraordinarily obnoxious man. This man, we’ll call him ‘Curious George’ left us all as Indians feeling ashamed of ourselves and you will soon find out why. For the benefit of those that don’t know I have an extremely high standard of privacy and believe in keeping my nose completely out of other people’s business. In return, I expect that they will do the same. But, NO! This is too much to ask for. I think that somewhere in the quest for independence and the struggle for development the entire Indian community lost its sense of privacy. I don't know about the rest of our large population. But, I want my privacy baaack!

I was victimized by Curious George who I met en route a very exciting vacation. Due to the above stated reasons –

(a) Love of privacy
(b) Desire to keep prying eyes away from my life

I act like a complete bitch around strangers and in public places so that they don’t start a conversation with me. I do my best to ignore people; I always carry my entertainment and never need anyone to talk to me. On this journey as well I was busy being my happy, pricey, bitchy self and I thought I sent out the message LOUD and CLEAR. But, Mr. Curious George didn’t quite catch the suggestive gestures. He was sitting right next to me blowing hot air from everywhere and suffering from a terrible case of silent farts! I was listening to music with ear plugs, working on the computer and I was also smelling my hair because the air around was unbearable. Suddenly, Curious George taps my shoulder and interrupts all these activities. He actually touched me, eew! Without an apology he launched into these questions about my life, destination, job, family, dating cycle and my entire life to be precise. As if the interruption wasn't bad enough.

The flaw in my ‘act like a bitch’ plan is that I am unable to really be a bitch. I was nice to him out of courtesy but Curious didn’t stop. After half an hour of evading questions and giving vague answers, I excused myself to go the restroom. I went there and almost tore my hair out; I let out a silent scream and a prayer at the same time. After getting my act together I was a little resourceful and found a flight attendant. I begged her to change my seat; I told her that she could leave me on the floor but not on MY seat. She was nice and listened patiently; thankfully at the first opportunity she changed my place. Before I left I told curious that I had a backache on that seat and managed to escape his clutches.

There is a social message in this story people. Just because you’re sitting next to someone doesn’t mean that the person is even remotely interested in sharing their lives with you. One other thing, the probability of you finding love on the airport, bus stop, theatre or any other public place is like 0.005%. Women think this is creepy, if you creep someone out they will hit you on the head with a bag or a shoe! If you’re unbearably bored you can try something entertaining like licking your elbow, touching your tongue to your nose, biting you head off if you find nothing else. But, Please for the sake of all sanity on earth, do not take a plunge into the stranger’s life. They don’t want to tell where they’re headed, why, why alone, how much money their parents make or how much money they make, when they plan to plan to marry, retire or die! If you ask these questions the person will either kill you or die right then. Some of us call this TORTURE!

I am not one of those who will die, I will ‘focking’ kill. People who know me, know that I am capable of murder and willing to murder for the right cause. The search for the cause is over. I will find curious George and kill him. Noooooo, wait, if I see that pest again I will vomit first, then maybe I'll kill him.

WARNING – If you ever see a really pricey and bitchy woman very busy at a public place, don’t even go within a radius of 100 meters, she carries a big knife. Self defense.

Lost Generation of Nostradamus - Found!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 02 May 2009 04:42:00 +0000

There are some truly great people that never see fame, never see limelight, never get recognized for their greatness – people like me, in fact to be more precise ME! ;) No this post is not about me and my greatness, but this is about those people who have all the knowledge in the world, the people who know everything and can totally foresee the future accurately. I am not one of these great people, I can barely see the front door then how would I see the future or make predictions. This is where I fall short in my quest towards greatness.

Nostradamus was not the last one, there are so many of his children everywhere, most of them around me! Nostradamus surely came to India and did you know what with God knows how many…., whatever, let’s not get into what he did with whom. Just because he is a star and long gone it does not mean that we royally invade his very private public life. So, the fact remains that I know a lot of people in 2009 in my humble neighborhood who can very clearly predict the future. They know exactly what is going to happen and when. They are so confident about it, they set the coffee table on fire with their predictions, speculations, assessments, analysis and observations. These certain individuals are extremely well read an well informed, I secretly suspect that they are glued to the 24 hour news channels all day the moment the channel airs something they decide to discuss it first hand on the coffee table before the ignorant masses find out about it. I also suspect that they send spies that follow the journalists to break news to them before the TV people broadcast it.

The ‘R’ word seems to be the ultimate topic of the day, the recession actually happened so that people could get something to talk about. Wow, you cannot believe the things we hear about the recession day in and day out, the latest news was that that exactly 36% of the jobs lost will be gained back in the first half of 2010 and the 28% more jobs lost will be gained in the last quarter of 2010. That is what you call a specific prediction, they don’t just share half hearted information but they actually take the pains to fabricate the specifics so it sounds more real. When I questioned this with some thing I had read, I was told that I am too dumb for words to describe. I am not well informed, not well read and certainly not abreast of all the latest information that makes our lives go round.

You will surely go bald if you wash your hair one more time with the shampoo you’ve been using for the last 10 years, your head will crack if you wear your hair in a tight pony tail, if you laugh so much your teeth will fall out, if you work too much you will grow old soon, if you don’t work you will be doomed to be a loser all your life long, the recession is surely going to affect your life and hit you hard even if you’re the school janitor, if you use so much nail polish your nails will crack and fall apart, you will lose your job tomorrow because you didn’t lick your bosses on this day at this time, you will fight poverty – go and sell the diamond earrings you just spent your entire savings on - this will lead you towards nirvana.

Nice and extremely entertaining, such people are the life of the coffee table, they assume that everyone takes them seriously, when in reality all the truly smart geniuses are LOLing in their heart of hearts and texting on their cell phones. They’re saying WTF! In their minds and the only reason they let this shit go on is because they want more entertainment in their already ultra boring lives. Comment here and share your own special Nostradamus’s with everyone, let’s sock it to the suckers!!

This post is dedicated to AVA..., thanks for the idea you are very inspiring.

My Obsession with the F Word

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 04:18:00 +0000

That’s right, I am obsessed with the word and not the action. A lot of eyebrows have been raised when I say I love the F word. I am not going to play any games about this not being ‘the’ F word. In case you’re wondering why I don’t just write the word here, I’ve applied to a lot of blog directories and they are reviewing my blog. I don’t want them to ban me because I write about the F word here. Let’s keep everyone happy and use a reference of the word, let’s call it ‘fock’. Now I’m really proud of myself for saying everything I want to without actually saying it. This is an art y’know, the people I work with teach me this all the time. They have mastered the art of saying it all without really saying anything. It reminds me of the song ‘you say it best, when you say nothing at all.’ What a song and what an unfit situation!

I’m making this a habit, in every post I drift away from the topic in the first paragraph and come back to it in the second one. So, in case you didn’t get it, this is my very own sick way to get you to read more. So, we were talking about fock. Well, I have never been able to figure out why people condemn this one little word. Yes, I know what it means. But, without exception, 95% of the time that I use this word I don’t mean it in the literal sense of the word. In fact when I say fock I express myself the best, this is the one word that expresses extreme joy, anger, hurt, excitement and all the emotions that really matter, even that adrenalin rush right before an accident. A lot people give me when I say fock, (the look = that look they give to make you feel like burying your pitiful self for eternity.) It has been practiced to perfection by everyone, I know this for a fact because I get it all the time. Another one of those things I do not cherish.

Free expression of thought is what blogging is all about, so here goes, fock fock fock! There, I feel better already. So like I was saying, why is it that this little word can make or break your impression, reputation and the likes? It’s not new that we get judged day in and day out for what we do, what we wear and what we speak. But, really does anyone look into your heart of hearts to understand what you mean when you say something. I am sure that the number of eyebrows raised will surely reduce when they make an attempt to understand my reason for using the word. NO REASON! I love the word, like the sound of it, like the way it conveys what I feel. I don’t want to get into the meaning of the word at all. (wink)

Now for some wishful thinking – I wish that the world was not so judgemental, aren’t there more people to judge than poor ‘ol me? There are murderers, rapsists, thieves, actors and the devil himself to judge, so many choices, please judge them for bad things. Don’t judge me for using a word I like just because! Well, the world does not function the way I want it to, so we do in rome as the romans do and so do I. Why? Well, because I have a job, I have a life and I have parents, I don’t want everyone to boycott me for silly reasons and I don’t wanna be broke. So I keep myself in complete check everywhere where it is required, too much I am told. I am cold, I am told. I like that actually, because the true self will freak people out beyond belief. And, so life goes on… everyone else is happy, I am also happy because I express myself through this medium and I say it all, by saying it all. Love it, love it and love it. Well, of course we all have those special friends with whom we all go berserk, people who don’t judge us. I am blessed to have all my mediums it strikes the ultimate balance which is most required for normal lives. This technique gets the work done, gets the ball rolling and keeps me happy as well. I know it’s a compromise to some extent so comment here and let me know if you have any better thoughts. If you don’t you can just say fock and everything gets conveyed you know! So people sing with me – when I say fock, you say....

Reason for the End of the World - Cynicism

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 05:23:00 +0000

I have been reading a lot of stuff on the internet lately, reading other blogs, articles, profile tags and pretty much everything that has words and can be read. Yes I know, I can be a voracious reader and my appetite for reading along with food can be quite legendary (Chuckle). Well, after reading so much I have some very strong opinions, as usual. At the moment I’m totally tripping on the free expression of thought and all that. I find it extremely entertaining to read different views and opinions without any limitations; people actually show themselves for what they truly are and what they truly feel. This is cool because when we meet people for the first time and ask for their opinions their responses are usually extremely politically correct or diplomatic. This is not fun and not entertaining in any way. I suspect this is the main reason why a lot of first meetings or first impressions are not very memorable. Personally I dislike a lot of people the first time I meet them, I tend to like people only when I start to know them a little better. This is another topic!

Anyhoo… So a lot of these expressions were not particularly engaging for me. They were fun and interesting but not engaging. I have an overly optimistic streak and an idealist that lives within me, when I hear things that don’t tend to go the positive way I run as far as I can from the source of negativity or realism as some people like to call it. We have a huge line of people who are expressing their views about various topics, sadly most of these views I read are on the ‘empty glass side’. Well, the more educated and the more humorous people are they tend to get more and more cynical. There is no true love, all men a dogs, all women are bitches, this country is going nowhere, the government sucks, the environment is polluted, there is too much porn on the internet, why do we care, there are no good people, you can’t get anywhere with honesty, there is no success without politics, life sucks and then you die! Even if the world doesn't have to end, it'll get sick of this shit and just commit suicide! I say GET A LIFE PEOPLE!

I am so bored of hearing words like, ‘I told you so’ when something I try fails. And you absolutely cannot believe the number of things I try and the number of times I fail! It seems to me like everyone is an expert on life with a lot of experience on how everything you are just about to do is surely going to fail. When unfortunately for whatever reason your attempts do fail, people will line up to tell you how they knew what the outcome was going to be. I for one am always told that I am too hopeful about people, life, love, condition of the world, happiness and so on. All the people have gathered in war against anyone who is remotely positive, they call us naïve and stupid and blind and the sorts. I get told all the time that one day I will grow up. If this is what growing up will do to me, OH God! I wish I never grow up.

Let us gather today to pay homage to all the great souls who live daily and try very very hard to be positive with life and situations in spite of the all the different kinds of lemons that life throws at them. I hope that we are able to spread cheer and joy without getting cynical with our humor. For all those with the “realistic” point of view, grown up attitude, experience and the likes I humbly request them to keep all their glorified wisdom with themselves, the other 10% of the world really doesn’t need their help. “Wise men learn from others mistakes while fools learn from their own.” I would rather be a fool and learn from my own life than take advice from losers who can never be happy.

With all the ridiculous barrage of so called ‘good advice’ thrown at me I am forced to subscribe to motivational quotes, keep looking at people who smile (by now they think I’m a total nutcase because I stare like a mad woman), Get up early to see the sunrise, wear bright colors, keep talking to myself with encouraging thoughts. All this just so that I can smile, the good news is that after all the efforts that go into it, I do smile and that too very wide, hey I never claimed that I was sane anyway! So through this post, I request bloggers to keep the positivity up in their writing and let us smile when we read your work, let us think how great life is and how lucky we are to be living.

BULLSHIT-O-METER

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 14:33:00 +0000

I received a very insightful critique recently about the blog, this guy said to me that my blog is very interesting for women; they would trip over it and feel great about themselves. But, among men it wouldn’t be so popular! He said there is a very striking feminine theme to every entry. I am biased towards that topic but I wanted to bring my readers something different and refreshing this time round. This entry has nothing to do with shit, it’s about a different kind of shit, more mental. Anyway, if you’re offended by the exaggerated usage of ‘shit’ you don’t have to read this and I can write anything since it is my blog!

In this modern world of complex sciences, extra intelligent and over smart humans there is a secret component to success. This secret component is called ‘jazz’, ‘street smartness’, fast thinking fast talking, great communication, good oratory ability. Personally I term it as the ability to bullshit others convincingly. Hence, the term bullshitting that will be used a lot here. BULLSHIT. In our everyday lives we encounter so many situations where other people bullshit us all the time. The sales person is bullshitting you about his “great” product; the house help is bullshitting you about a raise; the wife is bullshitting you about buying new jewelery; your boss is bullshitting you about some company policy; the landlord is trying to get more money from you. All of these and many more instances tell us that the person who is able to bullshit effectively gets what he wants. You of course loose what you gave him. Such is the tragedy of life. In this tragic situation the positive thing is that almost everyone has a bullshit-o-meter in the head. My meter is so very accurate.

Just the other day this bank guy was trying to tell me how the credit card would make my shopping easier. I was definitely not interested, I had a lot of time and I thought he spoke well so I gave a listening ear. My meter at that time was going BING BONG BING and more, I was throwing hogwash at him and he was doing the same. I didn’t take the credit card but I enjoyed that conversation and it wasn’t my phone bill for a change! This is a recent incident of my meter going off. Usually in my interactions with people I am able to see very easily who is bullshitting me and who isn’t. This really is very simple. The bullshitters are many and they think they’re oh so smart. They think that they can outwit the world and no one can see through their ploy. This is the biggest weakness these smart Alecs carry; that’s when your bullshit-o-meter will come in most handy. Word of Caution - keep the meter running always, you never know when you need it. You might just loose something very important, like your money or even your mind! The best part about the meter is that it also teaches you how to give it back.

Personally, I am bullshitted to a lot. I can see through it, but at the same time the stakes are usually too high for me to tell people the plain and simple truth. The smarts don’t understand the simple truth simply. They need everything explained in the same language they throw at you, apparently, they judge a person’s ability to buy their crap by the kind of crap that is given back to them. I have this tendency to thoroughly enjoy the weirdest of all situations. So as per my tendency I enjoy the game of giving bull. Just yesterday, I had this person X tell me the following à “You are the greatest; there is no one better than you. You’re brilliant, you’re fantastic and you’re the best. In addition to this, you are also heading in the right direction. If I compare you with other mere mortals, you’re definitely superior. There was this one act that this mortal did that just didn’t settle right with me and this is exactly what I am seeing with you.” Now my meter went BING BONG BING at the word fantastic. What I got from this conversation is that X thinks that I messed up big time and does not like what I did. What did I do about it? Something really constructive, I blogged about it! I guess the natural tendencies definitely take over and the enjoyment continues :)

The other problem with the bullshit-O-meter is that these days it rings all the time. I am also pleasantly surprised once in a while when I don’t hear that annoying BING BONG noise in my head. One of those rare occasions I celebrate, I give myself a treat, I say Mini there is still hope for humanity. So let’s not give up just yet. I prefer the tiny totters they still don’t have a meter and they don’t bullshit anyone. I get along really well with them and truly enjoy their company. It’s fun to tell them something completely incredible and unbelievable; when they believe it I feel like I was successful in bullshitting at least someone. So I practice with the kids and make final attempts with adults. The process works very well. The problem is that I carry with me the baggage of a reputation of being a bullshitter. So, even when I am genuine people always think that I am bullshitting. Most people tread with caution around me and will not accept anything I say at face value. The harder I try to convince anyone against their belief, the louder their meters ring. Now these meters should be tuned correctly. What do I do about this? I blog about it!

I have learned to bullshit now, this from those who tried to jazz me. I have mastered this art form and can do it really really well. But I choose not to. I would rather tell someone that they messed up, than wrap the person tight in a couple of blankets and hit them hard. I’ve seen that people usually appreciate the straight forwardness. But those occasional bullshitting situations are sure fun! I wish for a world without the bullshit, this world does not exist. It’s an idealistic mode of thinking and too much optimism. The current world has a very tiny ray of hope left. But, let’s see how far I succeed in changing the world. To get a head start I can begin by being a little more constructive than blogging ;)

Man Gossip

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:57:00 +0000

Here I am blogging after an extremely long time. See by now I have a fan following and I feel like I’ve deprived them long enough, so this is my comeback after a sabbatical, read on you will not be disappointed and I feel like I am finally getting the hang of this stuff, so I can’t wait to share ‘Man Gossip’ with you.

Right since I was a little child I remember being told that women gossip a lot and you will grow up to typically gossip a lot. This is my earliest memory, I have a terrible memory and my memory totally fades out before the age of twelve, so I was told this when I was a tiny tot. Now I didn’t really understand the meaning of gossip very well. So I will share with everyone what I found out the Oxford English dictionary defines the word ‘gossip’ as ‘(A.) Unconstrained talk or writing especially about persons or social incidents. (B.) Idle talk.’ So I learned at a young age that women do a lot of idle talk and men are silent, that men will not talk unless required. However, as I grew up this stereotype male and female form became more and more vague. We learn from experiences and I have not had a normal life, not to say that it hasn’t been an exciting journey, in short I got a lot of exposure to the world at a very young age, came to know a lot of good and bad things at a young age. I didn’t turn out so bad though ;) well anyway. While I was developing into a woman, I always thought that I should gossip because women are always expected to gossip. And I did gossip, not because I enjoyed it but because I had that typical woman role model to live up to. I learned that gossiping does not win you friends, does not build long lasting relationships and does not give you that strength of mind and character that we crave so much for. Nevertheless, a little harmless tatter here and there never hurt anyone. But, it did, it hurt a lot of people, things were said that were not meant, minor issues were blown out of proportion, there were some crazily stimulating cat fights, enemies were made, bitching was in its full glory!! Then suddenly wisdom dawned and I gave up, yes I quit gossiping; now this is not as easy as it sounds. It is just as tough as quitting an addiction, if you’ve ever tried to quit smoking, drinking or weed or anything else more advanced you will know exactly what I mean. By the time I decided to quit gossiping it was in my blood already and I didn’t even realize when I started gossiping. So I tried a method of conditioning of the mind, anytime I would find myself close to any kind of gossip I would stop myself and give my words the acid test. So the ultimate acid test of gossip was these two questions – Q1. Will I say this to the person on his face? Q2. Will this talk of mine hurt anyone? After following the acid test I discovered I had very little to say!

Now I know immediately when someone is gossiping. Over the years I have mostly been in male company. This has been good in many ways and has helped me break the stereotypes. This time, the man was gossiping like he was on fire! Most of the men I know gossip. They talk and chatter like no ones business. I have been subjected to their horrific torturous clatter, they say hurtful things, they are rash in their judgment, they blame, abuse, opine aloud, they will also move stories around the corridor. They are the ones that know everything and keep a track of everyone. The guys know who’s dating who, who likes who, who makes how much money, who’s going to the US, who’s going to get married, who’ having marriage problems, who’s getting a raise, who’s getting hired next and who’s getting fired next. They have all the juicy info, with so much of an information download and overload they strut around like the princes of town distributing little bits of extremely sensitive and valuable information to the ignorant and poor masses. To the little women who know nothing. In return for information about everything and everyone else, they seek information from you about you and others and anything you know. This, so that they can distribute it to anyone who cares or doesn’t. In either case they assume everyone cares! Ladies I present to you with utter disdain --- the new age metrosexual man! This is men gossiping at an age when women mature out of gossiping. I find it fun to see men gossip; they will never in their worst nightmares admit to gossiping. The men I know who read this will certainly think, it’s not me she’s talking about. I don’t gossip. I say, boys think again, look back, reflect and ponder about everything you’ve said. How much of it has been about yourself, something constructive, something useful and where have you faltered?

Quite honestly this blog is a result of a series of frustrations from people who have been nosy about my life, who still are nosy and come to me with information I couldn’t care a damn about. Most women I know are not gossips anymore, they grew up, they did this stuff in school and in college and they’re mature now. Guys, we are the inventors of this game, so trust me when I say that everything you ever said about anyone behind their backs to anyone else has reached the person you talked about. Such is the nature of gossip; whatever goes around certainly comes around!! So if you ever bitched about anyone, said anything bad or good about anyone, remember, they know about it and have heard it from at least three people. We don’t know how it is so, but it is so; and so the wise women have left these childish games behind. Don’t you think that it’s time you stopped playing games and grew up to be the MEN you were originally supposed to be??

Appreciation has Magic

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:50:00 +0000

The most exciting thing I have learned recently is the magic of genuine appreciation. It is said that ‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue.’ This is very true. There is no joy than to see people respond to genuine and sincere appreciation. It is only when we appreciate people that we build relationships and we all know that the world runs on relationships. Sometimes we learn lessons the hard way by making mistakes and falling. It is bad enough that you have fallen, the worse is when someone tries to discipline you harshly right after the fall. The power of appreciation is great, depending on how you deliver it and who delivers it. It is important that you get appreciation from someone who has a good credibility.

The greatest part about appreciation is that it makes people connect to you and start liking you. You can try hard to build a rapport with someone but the only thing that cracks it is open appreciation. Sometimes we are too stuck up in ourselves to give appreciation that openly. It brightens up someone’s day when you go to them and tell them you admire them or look up to them. Everyone works hard and tries hard to get success and an integral part of success is recognition and appreciation. I got appreciated boldly by someone I admire a lot and that has been the best day of my life. I would say that it is even better than the day I was proposed!! I love that experience so much and I will pass it on. It is important that we pass on the good that comes to us. The appreciation that I received has pushed me to the limits and made me try to do better and better. The human craving for recognition is never ending.

Analyzing Men

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:47:00 +0000

I have recently picked up a terrible habit of analyzing every man I meet because with women there’s no point analyzing them. Everyone knows even God can’t figure women out!! Hell… I can’t figure myself out. So analyzing men, the more I do this, the more I find differences in men. I am talking about my analysis of the male stereotype. All men will be able to relate to different aspects of my analysis. This includes most men, not all men. They are actually different people and they all do not think alike as we think. It is true that most of them have common interests but every man is endangered specie. The common interests are money, games, drinks and women (read: sex) in that order. They love games any kind of mindless activity that keeps them engaged for hours on end without having to face the reality of life is FUN! Men don’t like conversations… when they are approached with statements like ‘let’s talk’ they hear ‘you’re dead’. They usually like to procrastinate or terminate talks, conversations, and all that. They love money because they think women are attracted to money. Drinks offer another escape!! Why are men the way are? What is the mystery behind their tiny brain?

EUREKA!! I have discovered the secret as to why men are the way they are. I am unfortunately a victim of the same disease and I see the same traits in myself that I see in most men…. Shit!! So this age old mystery revealed is EGO / Self Respect / Pride / Dignity / Etc. The main reason why conversations are avoided are because they point mistakes and the mistakes punch the ego. Men fall in love with women who flatter them, this is big… I have had innumerable personal experiences in this instance. Girls, if you stroke a man’s ego, if you make him feel good about himself, you have got yourself a man who will love you forever. The key to their hearts is through their egos. Most men want a woman who can love them forever (read: Stroke their ego forever). This is the reason men don’t realize what’s going wrong in a long term relationship. They can handle the praise and not the criticism. You have to act extremely sensitive to give criticism to a man; either you’re his boss or God. They will not stand criticism from anyone else; especially from women who don’t know anything because of course the men know everything.

Don’t get me wrong here, I love being with guys, my friends are mostly guys. I think this mentality is good. It’s better than gossiping about your personal life to the whole world and then crying about what people talk about you!! It’s much better than opening your heart completely to strangers and clinging to them for help. It is better than throwing your self respect down the drain and begging someone to take you back. It is better than crying all day for people. I wish I could be completely like the guys… they are completely carefree… or at least they pretend to be… I think the rate at which I am going with the women bashing and insensitivity I will soon become like that. I also have an incredibly enormous ego so I am definitely heading in the right direction.

Jack Reacher

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 22:55:00 +0000

Jack Reacher is the ultimate hero of all times. He is my dream of an ideal man. He is the main character of the series of books that I have recently started reading. The author is Lee Child. Reacher is 6’5 205 pounds of raw man…. He is a Military Police and is a crime investigator in the army. He’s the toughest a man can get. The most charismatic aspect of Reacher’s personality is that he’s very rooted to the past; he’s actually a very simple man with simple needs and simple desires. I love the fact that with so much of simplicity he can still manage to be very intelligent. He doesn’t know how to use the pen drive; he doesn’t know how to fire new weapons. But, he can kick a man dead!

Jack Reacher is one of the smartest investigators who firmly believes in the concept of right and wrong. He is extremely powerful, lives life on the edge and has a lot of training. He wants to use his skills to teach the bad boys a lesson. My favorite part is when Jack finds the bad guy and then kills him in the most brutal ways with his bare hands. He loves killing the people and he takes immense joy in killing them. His punch line is--- “I will squeeze you to death with my hands, then I will slit your throat just for fun and then I will sleep like a baby for the rest of my life.” He feels that killing the bad guys is like killing roaches!!

Jack Reacher has left the army and is now a wandering vagrant. He has no cards, NO ID, No phone, No address, nothing that anyone can use to track him. He is the most anonymous person in the US. He just moves from cheap hotels to other cheap hotels helping people and solving complex cases and killing bad people. He is great with women and every book finds him wooing the women. He has no ties with his past and truly lives for the moment. Reacher alone in the dark unarmed and dangerous… he walks his way from one city to another… really really cool!! I really wish I could do that and I wish I meet a Jack Reacher someday in life. My fascination with the strong Military Police just doesn’t end.

Work

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 21:59:00 +0000

Sometimes I think, do I really work to facilitate living or do I live to work?? These questions really bother me a lot. I mean it’s good that there is a lot of career advancement and all that. Of course money makes me happy. But, realistically the time I spend working is crazy. I can’t do spur of the moment getaways, I can’t just get up one day and decide to for a movie coz I’m bored, I can’t even plan my dates!! This is bad, see this is why people want to get rich real fast. But then what’s the point of working so hard in these important years of the youth when all you want to do is freak out in this time.

The funny thing is, whenever I have been unemployed I have been really very happy for the first five days or so and then very soon I finish all the money I had. Now there I go, getting lured by the temptations of the world. So after a lot of going back and forth I have come to such a point where I will not take stupid decisions like leaving jobs because the quality of life should be any better. Rather, I have decided that I will make the quality of life better with what I have. It is no good to envy the rich movie stars; all have to work hard in life. This is the lesson that I have learned, the mind mix is that I have to keep reminding my self that there are these have to’s in life and there are these like to’s in life, the key is to balance them. So I guess life brings you to a point where you have to and then to a point where you like to. So right now I am in my have to… and I would say that it’s not that bad!

See I am not even the creative type that I would really want to paint or draw or design or make movies or anything. I just want to do nothing. So I am in a really good shape doing what I have to do and enjoying it. Just when life becomes monotonous you see the silver lining, God has been kind, just hope that he knocks some brains into me very soon!!

Drunk

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 23:13:00 +0000

The one thing that I’ve noticed growing up is there are more drunks than we can imagine. I used to think that drinking is really cool and that you can do a little bit of it. A little is enough, now I know better. I for one can’t handle my drinks at all. I used to get tipsy on a breezer and that’s crazy because most people say that a breezer is like coca cola! When I started drinking it was fun because the whole room used to spin and I used to forget everything. But then, what’s the point of forgetting your problems when they stare at you in the face. I think of it as an escape. It is an escape. It makes you forget and run from the problems, worries and cares. The acceptability of drinking is very high and mostly everyone we know drinks.

The problem is that the whole concept of social drinking in India is just lost. People don’t drink socially they drink and get high and start getting all worked up. The whole point of drinking is to have a little fun this fun turns nasty and people most of the times drink and start acting weird like saying wrong things and even acting in strange way. The worst is when you don’t drink and you have to see other people drink, I hate parties like this and to this day I don’t understand how this is their idea of fun. Fun in my opinion is sometimes just chilling out at home, with friends, reading a good book or even just sleeping. Man sleeping is really fun J just lying around doing nothing. Nowhere to go, no worries, no time constraints, no headache of getting up early and none of those. Oh you even sometimes feel groggy when you sleep really long. People that drink should try these alternatives and compared to drinking they are not so harmful to health.

I have been totally drunk and seen people drunk and I thought that it was just terrible. So now that I have stayed away from drinks now for over three years it does feel really good. Like you’ve accomplished something worthwhile! The main reason I despise drinking is because you loose total sense and something out of the world controls you. There is of course a high; the best would be if we got high on life just by living it rather than resorting to means like drinks for a high. Sometimes, when I dance to hard or work out too much I get that high. When I get too emotional and stuff I get that high. I wish I was always that high!!

Prejudice against the Average

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 22:59:00 +0000

This is my first blog entry and that’s why I will start with a topic that is extremely close to my heart. It’s close to my heart, I feel strongly and I have two opinions about this. I have always heard, read and seen that people become great, successful and recognized because of their deeds and traits and not because of outer beauty. This is one thing that I don’t agree with. Why do people say things when they just can’t follow them and believe in them? Leading by example is just gone out of the window. There is so much of hype over people that are assumed to be good looking and the others are just pushed into a crowd of the ‘undesirables’. The reason most of the people are undesirable is because of people opinion of their outer appearance over which we have little or no control.

I have experienced this personally, every time at work or in social circles I took the efforts to dress well and look good. I was treated differently and when I appeared unkempt, which so easily by the way, the treatment meted out to me was miserable. It’s like… whoa… wait a minute, why am I expected to look like a god damned model? Do you look like a model? Are you perfect? Then why do you have problems with my appearance. Oh the one thing that I always have a hearty laugh over is that the ugliest of people are always commenting on others looks. This attitude is detrimental to individual self esteem. Sometimes those slight harsh words really affect people and lead to personality issues. What is the standard of looking good I ask? How good looking is one supposed to be in order to be treated well. What is normal? There is so much of a lack of positivism in perception; we have already formed an opinion based on the person’s looks before they even say a word or act. The first things we notice about people are their clothes, how badly dressed someone is, how their hairstyle sucks and so on. Very rarely do we think that Oh my! He has such good skin or such beautiful eyes. The first thoughts are always negative. I believe that this is a lot of insecurity and under confidence.

But seriously why do ugly people always find faults with others?? What’s with them making statements like ‘Oh my God you look like you just had an accident’ or ‘what were you thinking before you wore that?’

The main problem is that when someone is ugly, they are ugly and other people accept it and they accept it. When someone’s gorgeous they know and accept and so do others. The problem is when you’re neither, you’re not stunning, you’re not ugly, you’re discriminated because you’re somewhere in between. Sometimes you’re good and sometimes bad. Sometimes there is no time to take care of yourself or your priorities change. Just when my priorities about my appearance changed the discrimination began. What I hate the most is when people say ‘Oh you look er... different this happens when they don’t know what to say. It’s not like other’s opinions matter. But, they give you a fleeting thought and always make you think the other person is a jerk!!

‘If you want to change the world first start at home’ I am going to start with myself. I am now going to make conscious efforts to look at people with a more positive frame of mind and whenever I think negative things I pray that I get the sense to correct them right away. I will work towards conditioning of my mind. I am sure that I will have some hilarious experiences in the process of trying to condition my mind. This is actually much easier for me to do. It’s easy for me to think positively about others. The difficult part is thinking positively about me. The peer pressure is super high and it’s also tough to go against that peer pressure. No matter how confident you feel it always hurts when people say that you’ve put on weight, or you’re looking not so right or something’s with your eye!! Exercising is really good for under confidence and over coming negativity, when you exercise the feel good hormones that are secreted really make you feel like the king of the world J I want these feelings to stay and like any addiction if you’re off exercise you’re miserable.

To conclude, I wish that there was no peer pressure to look better and better. I wish that people accepted you for what you were. I wish there was no prejudice against the good looking and bad looking. I wish that the people closest didn’t voice their useless opinions and just learned to love unconditionally. I wish that I can figure out the secret to a boost of confidence and high self esteem. I wish that I implement what I figure out and lastly I wish that it doesn’t take another 30 years for me to figure out and implement. It sounds to me like I wish for the world, so I also add a short note to God here to help me do my share J

Comments welcome.