Voice of Reason

Spring Sprang/Sprung/Springeth

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Wed, 15 May 2013 02:29:00 +0000

Arrived back home from San Francisco to a suddenly green valley:

I also returned to a toddler who saw me, said, "Mommy!" and then said, "Bicycle!" and ran outside to play. It was a pretty touching reunion.

I immediately packed up the Tiny Dark Lord and drove to Utah County (aka Cache County's unwitting nemesis) to spend a little bit of time with Jen, the Precii, and my Dad. And not to be braggy or anything, but there was a surf 'n turf seafood feast courtesy of Dad and it was awesome. Just, you know, throwing that out there.

One of us possibly looks bigger than she really is (ok, was) due to poor posture and super-slimming horizontal stripes. Possibly.

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SF Day 4 and 5

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 04:37:00 +0000

Ghirardelli salted caramel hot chocolate

J line Metro to the Mission--took me forEVER to realize that what I was looking for wasn't a bus but was a subway. Sneaky. It was like looking for Platform 9 3/4 there for a while.

Gorgeous weather requiring sunblock. GH offered to apply some to the part in my hair and ended up smearing about 1/4 a cup of the stuff in there. So I looked awesome.

Bi-Rite Creamery. I got honey lavender and hazelnut with dandelion cocoa nibs, GH chose salted caramel and banana. We stood in a line of about 10 people at around noon, and when we walked past later in the afternoon that line stretched down the block and around the corner. Well played, in retrospect, us!

Tartine bakery. We snagged the bread pudding with strawberries, a morning bun, and pain au chocolate to go, which I munched on all afternoon. Have to say though that the bread pudding, while delicious, was soggier than I prefer. The quiches and croque monsieurs looked amazing.

Imagiknits yarn store was nearby, so I snagged a cuddly skein of Malabrigo Worsted to make the fetus a San Francisco souvenir.

Beet salad at Dolores Park Cafe. I had to stop texting my sister Jenny to tell her every time restaurants had gluten-free breads and macaroons because I would have been texting her constantly. Also, I love all the beautiful water dispensers with the mint leaves and lemon slices inside.

Japantown, where I checked out bento box cuteness but didn't have time to wait in the massive lines. Probably for the best, since maybe those things were full of chemicals anyway.

Kabuki Sundance Theatre, watched Much Ado. Alexis Denisof and Amy Acker, who played the leads, were there to introduce the film and did a Q&A afterwards. The movie was lots of fun, and I enjoyed hearing some of the behind-the-scenes stuff.

Then GH grabbed some chicken at Popeyes, which had the distinction of being the filthiest eating establishment I've ever been in. (And some of you have seen my kitchen.) I wasn't hungry but this place would have tanked my appetite.

Losing steam. GH has gotten stronger and more used to the constant walking, whereas I started strong but get slower every day. Plus either the pregnancy or the shift in elevation or both has my gravity all off and I feel like the ground is moving under me. Which is fun. Took it easy today (Day 5) and killed time in low-key ways, like checking out the Westfield Mall food court, which was amazing and had all these local restaurants and served food on actual dishes instead of paper or plastic. Also we paid eleventy-million dollars to see a matinee of The Croods, until it was time to catch the Bart to the airport, whereupon we learned about the...

...cancelled flight. Yeah. Mechanical something. So now we are in a hotel in South San Francisco and will catch a flight tomorrow morning.

I really was ready to get home, and I wasn't going to be able to wait until the morning to sneak into the Dark Lord's room and pick him up and snuggle him. I had to settle for a FaceTime conversation with him where we sang Old McDonald before Spitfire put him to bed. She and my sister-in-law are saving the day tomorrow by trading off so TDL doesn't have to get picked up by Family Services or whoever it is who takes in abandoned children.

Wish us luck that things will go smoothly tomorrow!

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SF Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 23:17:00 +0000

So much of the riding of buses. So much. Including one time when we went the wrong direction for a block.

The California Academy of Sciences, on what must have been Get a Special Discount if You Bring Your School Group And Also the Loudest Group Wins a Real Live Pelican Day. The rain forest with the birds and butterflies was pretty awesome. I could have stayed there for a lot longer, even if the sight of youths trying to catch butterflies gave me hives.

Checked out the cafeteria menu in the museum. Hot dogs were $7. Had a good laugh, then went outside and ate some of my cheese.

Got on a bus and took it up near the Palace of Fine Arts. Found a little pizza place for lunch, then hit the Dynamo Donuts kiosk on Marina Green. Was underwhelmed, probably should have gone earlier in the day when they would have been fresher. GH got the maple apple bacon, I got chocolate spice.

Walked through the Presidio until my legs cramped, made it to the Walt Disney Family Museum. Which was cool, and had a special screening of Snow White playing. (YAY for the resting of feet!) Also the bathrooms there were very nice:

(Take a page, Parks Service. Your Alcatraz bathrooms were Nas. Tee. If the inmates had soap and hot water, I don't see why I should go without.)

Then walked around even more to locate the Lucasfilm offices for GH. Found them, once I was hobbling and halfway to death.

Dinner and shopping in Chinatown, followed by Parks & Rec back in the hotel on the iPad. Ron Swanson is good for tired muscles.

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SF Day 2 Highlights

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 06:06:00 +0000

Being warm. Turns out that's the difference between a thin cotton cardigan and a thin merino wool cardigan. Thank you, wool. And thank you, sheep.

Traveling with an iPhone. I held out forever and was all pooh-pooh you iPhone people, i don't need such a thing as that, i just need to be alone with my thoughts and my poetry, but now that I have one? Yeah. Best ever. There is a SF public transit app that I used to reassure all the worried British and Norwegian students at the streetcar stop that the car would be there in 2 minutes and that we would arrive at Alcatraz Landing at 8:56am. And they all looked at me as though I were the Goodness Fairy, which took the edge off later when the mentally ill woman on the streetcar started shouting prolonged obscenities at someone whose shoulder bag touched her.

Tour of Alcatraz island and Prison, which has a library!

Fairy Codmother fish and chips and fried Oreos. It felt so nice to have a cheery British person call me "my darling" as I ordered fried fish, you have no idea.

The Exploratorium in its new home on Pier 15.

Having it proven that my hands really are cold all the time. Proven by SCIENCE. And infrared cameras.

Seeing live baby chicken embryos and bursting into tears at the tiny little heartbeat. Ah, hormones...

Ferry Building Marketplace, where I bought all the things, including a wedge of Mt Tam triple-cream cheese from Cowgirl Creamery. They gave me a sample in the store and then stood quietly when my eyes closed and I had to take a moment. They must get that a lot.

Dinner and dessert in East Bay with Lady Steed and Kip. Dinner was stuffed Chicago-style pizza with mushrooms, spinach, and cheeses at Zachary's. And a spinach salad for folate.
Dessert was ice cream at Ici, which I loved and wanted to transport all my sisters and Mom to. The 11 flavors of the day were things like brown sugar graham cracker marshmallow (GH's pick) and candied Meyer lemon (my pick) and chocolate hazelnut praline and rose cardamom and I know not what. Plus the cones are homemade, with a plug of dark chocolate in the bottom to keep your ice cream from dripping through. Genius.

It was so great to see my friends. We met our freshman year of BYU when we were all on the same floor of Stover Hall, wearing overalls and being terrified of those marriage-hungry RMs we kept hearing tell of. Turns out we didn't need to worry--none of them were interested in us. Like, for a goooooood long while.
And now I've slept in a bit and am about to get up and see about that Mt Tam situation in the mini-fridge...

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San Francisco Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 03:28:00 +0000

Ran into this Alaskan guy at the Salt Lake Airport. Weird . . . He will be in UT for the next week, so we will get to hang out.

Took the Bart to the hotel, then walked through Chinatown towards Fisherman's Wharf. Discovered that the Golden Gate Bakery with the egg tarts is closed for vacation. Almost threw a grief hissy right there.

Picked up City Passes, ate clam chowder from Chowders.

Aquarium of the Bay

Musee Mechanique

Ghirardelli Square, including hot fudge sundae

Old-school street car ride back to hotel, complete with drunk guy carrying open bottle of liquor and inviting college girls to come enjoy the view from his balcony. They declined. Smart girls.

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Being terrified of baby animals

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:08:00 +0000

Thanks so much to everyone for your San Francisco suggestions! I leave tomorrow morning and am so stinking excited. Except I'm trying not to think about the part where maybe the Tiny Dark Lord will think that I've left forever and will either go into a decline or will start calling my sister-in-law "Mom" and then I will have to throw myself in a well, provided I can find one.

Ahem. Deep breath.

Wanted to share a few pics from Baby Animal Days, which I've been to before. This was the TDL's first year and I hoped he'd get a kick out of it.

Things he did seem to enjoy:
The tractors
The four-wheelers
The hot dog
The chips
My water bottle
Being carried the entire time

Things that terrified him:
Goats
Piglets
Baby Lambs
Baby chicks
Baby ducks
Baby bunnies

And this is a kid who is not afraid of dogs or cats and who loves taking carrots to feed the neighborhood horses. But get a baby chick near him . . .

He did warm up to the bunny, as you can see. But the first few pictures were of him trying to burrow into my armpit so that Bunnicula couldn't get him. Also, that baby lamb sucked on my finger. At which point I died of happiness but had to remain standing so that TDL could stay several feet above the terrifying newborn farm animals.

Did you guys know that this is how baby horses eat because they have such long legs? I swear I do not know what precious thing they will think up next.

Pick up the pace here, Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:11:00 +0000

My daffodils and crocuses (crocii?) are up, and yet. It keeps snowing and being cold. I like this not at all. But hey, I'm going to San Francisco next week, so suck on that, Spring! I realize that the weather in San Francisco can be cold and windy and rainy, but by Grabthar's Hammer, it won't be snowing. This week their forecast shows 70s and sunny. I can definitely take that.

So yeah, I'm kind of excited. I went with my family a few times when we lived at Travis Air Force Base in the early 1990s. Am going to go ahead and spare you the pictures of thirteen-year-old me at Fisherman's Wharf with frizzy(er) hair and light pink sweatshirts with sailboats on the front from Coldwater Creek or whichever old lady store supplied my clothing. You are welcome. I haven't been back since a brief trip in 2000 for Lady Steed and Theric's beautiful wedding. (How beautiful? Click here.)

What's even more exciting is that my sister-in-law offered to watch the Tiny Dark Lord for us while we are gone. Spitfire is also going to get in on the babysitting action, and I am trying to think of really nice thank-you gifts for both of them. I will miss my baby's sweet face and his spirited rendition of "Yellow Submarine," but I am kind of beyond thrilled to be taking an adults-only sort of trip.

We leave Wednesday morning and come home Sunday night, and I wanted to be sure to float my itinerary so that wise people can weigh in and make suggestions that are not on here but will send me into the depths of despair if I miss out on them.

Here are a few of the things on my list of must-dos and maybe-dos. We bought the San Francisco CityPass, which gives us public transportation passports (not planning to rent a car, and our hotel is decently central--kind of between Nob Hill, Union Square, and Chinatown).

Other things from the pass that we hope to do:
Alcatraz Cruise
California Academy of Sciences
Exploratorium
the SMOMA, unless we decide we don't want to be cultured

One bummer (for us) about the pass is that the price barely went up because it now includes the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which is 2 hours away & we aren't planning to go there. Oh well.

Oh! Has anyone been to the Disney Museum at the Presidio? We are looking into that.

GH is beyond thrilled because we snagged tickets to see the premier of Joss Whedon's new Much Ado about Nothing at the San Francisco Film Festival. You may remember that I married a rabid Joss Fan. The theater is in Japantown, so I will be shopping for bento boxes and Japanese dishes beforehand.

I am beyond thrilled at the possibility of getting together with Lady J and our good friend Skip, who both live in the area. Also GH has a delightful cousin who is even now looking at her schedule to see if we might be able to work out a meet-up.

The other thing I'm most excited about is the food. Now that I don't spend every evening lying on the couch while holding my stomach, gurgling, and hating everything, I kind of want to eat the whole city, especially all the stuff I've been reading about on everyone else's blogs of hipness.

Lots of what I want to try is in the Mission district:
Tartine Bakery
Bi-Rite Creamery, with ice cream flavors like salted caramel and honey lavender and I know not what
La Taqueria
Dynamo Donut: They have a maple donut with bacon on top. Ron Swanson would approve.
And then I will take those foods to that Dolores Park Playground everyone recommends and eat them. I might check out the two yarn stores in the area as well.

And a lot more of the stuff I want is at the Ferry Building:
Cowgirl Creamery
Boulette's Larder
Miette Bakery & Candy Shop
Plus the olive oil stores and the salt stores and the bread stores, oh my!

Then there's Chinatown:
Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory
Golden Gate Bakery (The people on Yelp are losing their minds over the egg tarts. What? New forms of custard to ingest? Don't mind if I do.)

Seafood:
Chowders on Pier 39 (a family tradition)
The Codmother Fish & Chips (British food truck with deep-friend Snickers and Oreos, awesome )
Am trying to decide on a sit-down seafood place that moves up from the $ to the $$ category but does not get all $$$ crazy. Yelp has recommendations, but does anyone here have any favorites?

Also, I've never tried oysters. Is anyone else a fan? I realize that pregnancy is probably not the best time to go for the raw seafoods, but wouldn't you think you could find some pretty fresh, reputable ones in SF?

So. Anybody else have any good things to add to the list?

source

You heard it from my dentist first

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 20:56:00 +0000

Kurbis baby hat

Back in January I had my teeth cleaned and told the hygienist that I wanted to skip the X-rays because there was a chance I could be pregnant. When the dentist came in after the cleaning, she told him why we'd passed on the X-rays and he said, "Oh yes? Let's have a look."

Dentist, to the technician: "Want to make a prediction? Check out these gums."

Me: "Actually, that's called gum disease and me not flossing." (Joke's on you, doc!)

Dentist: "Mmm-hmmm. A woman of your age, with gums like that . . . pregnancy is hard on your gums, and it can show up pretty quickly. I've been right before, that's all I'm saying."

I rolled my eyes at him and went on my way.

Next morning, I got in the shower and just about hit the ceiling when the water fire-hosed into my chest. (This is mostly GH's fault--he has tinkered with the water pressure because he thinks that if you leave the shower with intact nipples then you did it wrong. But still. It was worse than usual.)

So at lunch, even though it was still a couple of days before I thought I could get reliable results, grumbling at the know-it-all dentist who was probably just giving me false hope, I took a pregnancy test.

And what do you know--I do have pregnant gums.

I'm 14 weeks along now and feeling good (baby is due around October 6). My top craving has been Philly cheese steaks. I do mine with grilled roast beef, green peppers, provolone, and cream cheese--also I sometimes put butter on the sandwich roll before I toast it, for the calcium. I've converted Spitfire, and the possibility of sharing a sandwich with me can sometimes lure her to my home during the lunch hour.

I am finally able to knit again since it no longer induces nausea, and that cute little pumpkin hat is the first thing I've managed. When I showed it off to GH last night and told him the baby can wear it while we take TDL trick-or-treating this year, he looked at me like I was insane.

GH: We aren't taking the baby trick-or-treating. He won't even be a month old!

Me: So? It'll be fine, I'll just hold the baby in a carrier.

GH: That's RSV season! You want to take him or her out with all those other kids???

Me: What other kids?

GH: The kids! That kids that are running around everywhere all coughing and sick!

Me: Nobody will getting close to me. Exactly how many kids did you see coughing into my boobs last Halloween?

So apparently they hand out RSV along with the Halloween candy. Good to know.

El Bandito

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 20:12:00 +0000

Last Saturday the stars aligned enough for GH and I to break from our usual weekend routine, which consists of begging friends at the last minute to please hang out with us, having them all say no because they'd already made plans like people who plan ahead, and then renting something from Redbox and sitting on the couch all night like winners. This time we had a proper night out on the town, including free babysitting thanks to Spitfire! I fed her Pioneer Woman's macaroni and cheese in exchange, (with bonus over-cooked broccoli) but I'm pretty sure I got the better end of the deal.

We met up with Desmama and her delightful spouse for dinner at Gaucho Grill, one of those Brazilian places where they bring around grilled flesh on skewers and the salad bar always has beef stroganoff (win and win). If you ever go, be smart like Desmama and order the Brazilian limeade with passion fruit That stuff was amazing, and then the servers come around and bring you more of it. As for the food, the meat selections weren't as extensive as what you'd find at a bigger place like Tucanos, but everything we had was really good and the service was great. We didn't see grilled pineapple or vegetables, but I asked about it near the end of the meal and they brought them right over. I grabbed two slices of pineapple and GH grabbed one slice, which he put on my plate as soon as the server left. This is how I get all the pineapple I need but don't seem piggy.

Then it was time to wade through the Cache Valley snow and head over to the Ellen Eccles Theatre. A quick note about that place: the shows are good but expensive, and the seats in the balcony are terrible. If you are trying to save money by sitting up there, don't. My mom, sister, niece and I went to see Kiss Me, Kate last summer and sat in the balcony. We were so, so very uncomfortable. The rows are wedged so close together that if you try to cross your legs you will kick the person in front of you in the head. But if you sit without crossing your legs then the person in front of you will basically have your knees on either side of his face. And maybe you are wearing a skirt. Not comfortable for either of us, really.

We were there to see The Hanging of El Bandito. The show is an original from the Pickleville Playhouse up in Bear Lake (also known as The Place Where Northern Utahns Go for Family Reunions Because We Enjoy Hypothermia). They put on melodramas and musicals, and they serve dinner so you can do a meal and a show if you want. I've never been but hear it's a lot of fun. Anyway, El Bandito did a tour in SLC and then in Logan, which just so happened to coincide with us getting out on the town like real humans.

A friend of mine was also there that night with her family and had been explaining to her young son beforehand that plays are different from movies, and this is a nice theater, and he will need to be really, really well-behaved. Then she got there and saw all the kids running around whooping and wearing fake mustaches (sold at concessions) and stopped worrying. The plot (if you really need one) of this musical melodrama is that the thief El Bandito (boo, hiss, etc.) has finally been brought to justice and is going to hang in the town square, but not before his many, many interrupted attempts to get a musical number going so that the audience can feel his pain. A confederate springs him from the gallows and then everybody is trying to re-capture him while El Bandito just wants to be able to focus on his hip-hop career. Along the melodrama theme, so there was a piano player on the side of the stage, and we all got to boo and hiss and cheer. Also there was hip-hop. And dancing. And movie references. And lots of ad-libbing and actors trying crack each other up. The play was definitely family friendly (the kids were laughing harder than the adults) but there were a few lines in there that went over the kids' heads, which I always appreciate because I am fourteen.

I could see going up to Pickleville this summer to catch the newest installment. Maybe I will even grow a mustache to fit in better.

Livin' on a prayeeeeer . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 04:25:00 +0000

from By Common Consent

Remember that one time a year ago when I talked about being a Mormon Feminist Crazypants Manhater? This is something I said:

One thing I notice now is that there are some habitual practices regarding women's participation in church. They do not appear to be policies or rules--just habits. I do not think it would be a harmful thing for leaders to consider whether there are ways for the sisters of the Church to be better represented. My concern is that when women's voices are unnecessarily absent, not only do leaders miss out on an important perspective, but the resultant (and likely unintended) message could be that this is because their perspective is not important.
So. Here are some things I would squeak for:
How about asking a sister to give one of the prayers in General Conference? Doesn't it seem kind of weird that this doesn't already happen? And, to sweeten the deal, we promise not to do that whole giving-a-closing-prayer-that-is-really-a-talk thing that some of our dear brothers do.

Turns out I wasn't the only one who wondered about the GC prayers. Some folks organized an activity, encouraged by a 1978 statement from then-President Spencer W. Kimball, who said that it is "permissible for sisters to offer prayers in any meetings they attend." Those who wanted to express their feelings on the subject in a faithful and respectful way could submit letters that would be handed directly (along with the other letters) to several General Authorities who may be in a position to discuss and influence such things. (They were not sent through the postal service because mail is sent back to local leaders, who have no authority over what happens at General Conference.)

Here was the letter I wrote to Elder Holland. I also wrote a similar one to the General Relief Society President (Linda K. Burton).

Dear Elder Holland,

Thank you so much for your service, and for the messages of faith and love that have helped me so many times as a young woman, a young single adult, and now as a young(ish) mother. I thank you also for your special love and concern for the women of the Church and the world.

I am writing to ask that those who make the prayer assignments for General Conference consider inviting sisters to pray as well. Since I first noticed their exclusion (which does not follow the pattern of our other meetings), I have been puzzled and saddened by it. It would mean so much to me to hear a sister's voice offering the prayer at General Conference.

Thank you for reading this! I send my prayers and best wishes up for you and your family.

Most sincerely,
[Nemesis]

I have no idea if he read it or not, but guess what! Rumor is that sisters are being invited to pray in April.

This, to me, is a great example of a practice or tradition (whatever it is, it's not doctrine) of exclusion that can easily be examined and adjusted. I have no idea if this "adjustment" was already in the works or if the letters helped influence it and I don't really care.

What I do care about is that we will hear sisters pray and I will possibly do a fist-pump and maybe a Snoopy Dance right afterwards if I can't control myself.

(Note: And no, I don't consider it problematic or uppity or apostate to ask a question or to share my perspective or feelings as a member of my church. Studying and teaching the Doctrine & Covenants this year gives me a weekly reminder that you have to ask questions to get answers, and that members (and leaders) frequently must gather information before expecting inspiration.)

Have become Magda from Bridget Jones' Diary

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 21:42:00 +0000

Do you all remember Magda? She was Bridget's Smug Married friend with tiny children and babies who showed up to Girls Nights with cabbage leaves stuffed in her bra and began phone greetings with things like, "Hi, I was just calling to say PUT IT IN THE POTTY THAT'S YUCKY!!!"

My friend called me today and the first thing she heard was my voice saying, "Is there poop? On your butt, is there poop on your butt right now?"

Her: "Um . . . I don't think so?"

Good times, friends.

So yeah, haven't been blogging, blah blah. Hello there. I have missed everyone. Will try to do better. And for the moment, let's just all agree that none of us have poop on our butts. We hope.

ps. Did you hear that Helen Fielding is supposed to release a new BJD later this year? I will read that thing even if it's awful if only because I owe so much of my 20s to Bridget.

a quick succession of busy nothings*

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 23:21:00 +0000

(*Has everyone here seen Mansfield Park? I'm not talking about the newer one with Billie Piper looking completely contemporary and odd but the 1990s one that took liberties and added Johnny Lee Miller, Alessandro Nivola and also bewbs. That one was really good, I thought.)

Now that my own linens are clean(ish) I'm tackling the ones GH slept on all week in the guest bedroom. Today's sunshine and melting snow fooled me into thinking it would be a great day to save some gas money and put the clean wet sheets out on the clothesline to try. My frozen blue fingers said maybe I should have waited. It's still Cache Valley Cold out there.

Tonight's dinner will be Cicada's carbonara, which I haven't made in years but am very excited about. Because I'm considering trying out that Zone Diet thingie (to help me eat more vegetables and less Cheetos) my body is preemptively willing me to ingest as many empty carbs as I can get my hands on. There will also be asparagus too, though. Maybe.

Finished re-reading The Marriage Bureau for Rich People for this week's book group. Since last month's book was Anna Karenina, we decided to veer into lighter, "maybe listening to your parents and having an arranged marriage could be a good idea" territory as a follow-up.

I'm also trying to de-stain the Tiny Dark Lord's new white cotton Oxford shirt. The story there is that we attended a funeral for GH's grandmother yesterday in Bountiful. At the grave site, which was halfway up the mountain near the Bountiful Temple, there was still a lot of snow. So someone used a back hoe to clear away the snow and create a (wet, muddy) path for us. After the graveside service, TDL ran away from me, tripped, and fell face-first into a muddy tire track. Pants, shirt, face, glasses, everything caked in mud. Good times.

two minutes before the big bid for freedom

The funeral was really nice. I heard so many great stories about Grandma Lula, and even GH learned some things he hadn't known about her. She was 94 years old and died at home with lots of family around. I'm glad that I got to know her, and that the Tiny Dark Lord did too. Even though he won't remember her, we'll be able to show him pictures of them together and tell him stories about her. The theme that kept coming through in all the stories and memories people shared was that she loved everyone unconditionally, which I think is a pretty great legacy to leave behind.

I just might pull through

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 18:31:00 +0000

source

I woke up this morning and my first thought was not, "I wish to die" but rather, "Huh. I actually feel slightly rested, what with only waking up 5 times in the night instead of the usual 12." So maybe I've turned a corner and will soon rejoin the land of the living.

In a fit of optimism at the thought, I decided to wash my bedding in case I improve enough today to lure GH back into the marriage chamber. (He's been sleeping in the guest room for the last few days, which has probably kept him from catching my cold (cross fingers) and has resulted in better sleep for both of us. But I'm starting to miss having someone right there to mess the covers completely up and sleep with his elbow inches from my eye socket, you know?)

So I pulled all the Snot and Germ Rags Formerly Known as Bedding off my bed to give it a good wash. Which is when I saw my bare pillows and almost threw up. You know how you're supposed to wash your pillows every 6 months otherwise Martha Stewart will judge you and also you will be sleeping with your face on your old yellow sweat rings? I think maybe I forgot to do that last fall. And possibly last spring. I don't even know, but it was gross. So I found some hard-core pillow whitening directions online, and the two worst pillows are in the machine now. We'll see how it goes. And now I am really, really tired.

You know being sick is getting old when you wish you felt better so that you could clean. And I will be happy to have clean white pillows again. Does anybody else have any spring cleaning stuff that they are actually kind of looking forward to?

I take my leave of you, February. I send no compliments to your mother, you deserve no such attention.

February, I swear you are the other f-word

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 03:52:00 +0000

The Month Who Shall Not Be Named has decided to give me one last roundhouse kick to the face in the form of a nasty, nasty cold.

I called GH's Grammy and got her recipe for chicken noodle soup, which I have been sucking down all day. (One of her secrets is that she adds a can of cream of chicken soup to it. It figures that MSG would have to be involved for it to taste this good.) And I'm drinking this cayenne/apple cider vinegar/honey tea concoction that my friends swear will help me get better faster. I hope so, because it tastes like bile.

The best part was when my sweet germaphobe husband came home from work and said, "You look and sound awful. You should just go upstairs to bed now, that way you won't touch anything else. I will take care of the Dark Lord."

So I got to snuggle up in bed with Netflix on my iPad and watch a French romantic comedy set in the world of chocolate. That is called a win.

Next up: Jiro Dreams of Sushi

Please cross fingers that I get some sleep tonight. Last night around midnight I actually put on my old Hypnobabies relaxation tracks and listened to them on earbuds, hoping they would put me to sleep the way they used to. Turns out I'd forgotten that all the tracks were still on there, as I woke up an hour or so later to a voice giving me instructions on how to push. I kind of don't want to think about where that could have gone.

Oh Hugh. Is there anything you don't do?

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:58:00 +0000

Last night during the Academy Awards ceremony, Jennifer Lawrence tripped on her dress as she went up to get her award for Best Actress. She caught herself on her hands but took a moment before she started to stand back up (was probably laughing and/or wanting to die).

As she stood up we could see Hugh Jackman rushing up into the shot to offer a hand. Because of course Hugh Jackman would be the one to run up there.

She didn't noticed him coming before she got up on her own. (And it turns out that Bradley Cooper, her castmate and seat partner, was also on his feet heading toward her.) But I bet if she'd seen Hugh coming, she would have waited to get up. I know I would have. That's probably in, like, the Rules of Life or something:

If HUGH JACKMAN comes rushing up to save you, you forget feminism and LET HIM DO IT.

Well hello to YOU!

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:29:00 +0000

This happy discovery along the back side of my house is taking a bit of the edge off February. Am very excited to see who these turn out to be. (These aren't the ones I planted in the fall--those are out in the yard under at least a foot of snow.) And if any of the bazillion deer in my yard so much as look at them I swear I will punch those deer in the boobs.

You know how February is. Everyone in my poor family has been manifesting in different ways.

I stare grimly out at the snow and eat carbohydrates, while threatening mammary violence against deer. Also I knit.

Coolboy tried to plan a trip to California that didn't work out.

Jenny is painting the inside of her new house, and bought really, really extremely expensive paint for her bedroom "to tell winter to suck it." (Her words.)

Spitfire called me demanding that I take a Caribbean cruise with her and then cursed me out (in her mind) when I had to tell her that I don't have a current passport. "WE DON'T LET THINGS LIKE THAT LAPSE!" She is right. I feel shame.

My parents sent all the women in our family (including sisters-in-law and Spitfire, who is single) an email saying that they can't go anywhere this month but are trying to plan a "defrosting" vacation for later in the year. Because at least booking a trip can make you feel better, you know? So if anyone is secretly pregnant and due around x dates they'd better fess up if they want my mom to come help. Except the dates they were throwing out are so far down the road that said secret pregnancies couldn't even be conceived yet. Math fail . . .

GH: So is that why you are all this way? Did you get it from your dad?

Me: Pretty much.

But look! Only one week left! Stay on target . . .

I guess I wanted equality . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:30:00 +0000

Last night GH and I went to visit his grandma for a little while, Tiny Dark Lord in tow. At the end of the visit, we drove home and pulled into the garage, which is without electricity and is really just this leaning wooden shanty that we park our car in at our own risk. There is a path that leads from a door in the garage along the side of the house and to the kitchen, and that's usually how we get in and out.

GH was in front of me, carrying the diaper bag, and I had a sleepy Dark Lord in my arms right behind him. We shuffled through the dark to get to the door, and as GH started to step through the door frame onto the path he stopped, backed up quickly, and said, "I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but I think I just saw a bobcat."

Me: "You didn't see a bobcat."

GH: "I DID, it was right there, crossing the path in front of me!"

Me: "It's probably just a stray cat or--OHMYGOSH IT HAD BETTER NOT BE A COUGAR."

GH: "It was bigger than a cat. Maybe it was a dog or something."

Me: "Can you see it? Where is it?"

GH: "Here. You go first. I'll protect you."

Please note: I am holding our son and heir while wearing a skirt, and he wants me to go check out the bobcat threat. I told him what I thought of that, and then we proceeded to make lots of noise so as to discourage whatever was in our yard from hanging around while we rushed into the house.

But seriously, Cache Valley-ites. Bobcats? Anyone?

source

Lady Bragsalot

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 04:24:00 +0000

Now that the holidays are over and all the gifts are gifted, I can brag on some of the stuff I've been knitting.

I drew my sister-in-law's name for Christmas, so as part of her gift she got yet another slouchy beret (she already has one in grey but requested another) and a set of boot toppers.

Star Crossed Slochy Beret, pattern by Natalie Larson

Twist and fold toppers

My mom's Christmas gift was this mohair cowl that was only about 3 years coming. I bought this yarn in March of 2010 and made the mistake of trying to knit a Mother's Day Gift for her while newly pregnant with the Tiny Dark Lord. Upset tummy + frustrating fuzzy laceweight yarn made of freaking spider eyelashes = Homicidal Ragebeast. I could not even look at said yarn for the next year without feeling carsick.

But this summer I saw an employee at Blazing Needles wearing an absolutely beautiful lace cowl and I thought it might be worth revisiting some old demons if I could make something like that. So I took the yarn back out of the bag with "PIECE OF STUPID AWFUL SUCK" scrawled across it, and gave it a try. I'm so glad I did, and so glad I didn't give up those first few insane, swear-inducing inches.

Mohair Bias Loop

Because look how gorgeous!!!

Also, don't I have a pretty mom? I comfort myself that in 22 years I might look like this.

And continuing with the theme of gorgeous, my sister Jenny saw this pattern online, forwarded it to me, and asked if I'd make her one if she bought the yarn.

Meringue Cowl by Alla Koval

I said yes, and then I made her go into Knit Unique on a day when they were having a massive sale but I couldn't go with her and the store was packed with crazy knitters and she just had these scrawled notes from me about weight and yardage and fiber and she said she wanted blue and so the ladies handed her three skeins of something and said, "THIS. This is what you need" and she paid for it and barely got out of the store with her life.

Which is how she ended up with some super, super nice yarn. Like, way, way better than I've ever bought. Or that she would have bought if she'd seen the price tag first. But oh. I am so glad. Because knitting with that stuff was like having some kind of baby angora/cashmere/silk/camel experience that I probably should have made an appointment with my bishop to talk about. It was just that amazing and I was sad to relinquish it.

Made with The Fibre Company's Road to China Light in Sapphire, also
known as "having tiny woodland animal babies slung about your neck"

I did wear it for few minutes and coo things to it, though.

Next up is a little something for Desmama's little stranger, which of course I can't reveal here where she can see it. Oh! And remember my resolution to start a knitting group? Totally happening tomorrow. Because when it's been hovering around zero degrees for weeks and weeks and if even if you were to go outside you would die from breathing the polluted air, cozying up with piles of yarns just seems like a good idea, you know?

Money, money, money . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 22:56:00 +0000

image source

You may have noticed one of my New Year's Resolutions from the last post is to do with professional development. ("Get self back behind a library desk. Because this whole civilian library user thing is crap.")

It's been 6 months since I've been employed and I am kind of dying inside a little bit. It's just not good. I've taken my updated resume to my local library and am trying to keep in touch about what's needed and what I might be able to do. (Note: Learn from me and do not go four years and two jobs without updating your resume & then try to do it all from memory when you are no longer in said jobs and are now stupider from whatever hormones happen during childbirth that drain all of your powers from that one place in your head with the thing that you think with.)

Anyway.

I recently listened to a really interesting podcast on "Stay-at-home-Moms and Money." Yes, it was over at the Feminist Mormon Housewives podcast page, but don't let that scare you. There's no bra-burning in this one. They chat with a financial planner about the nitty gritty financial realities regarding women and especially SAHMs. A lot of the statistics terrify me (example: women who leave the work force to raise children can lose up to $1 million in lost income), but there was some good information in there. Examples:

Have a budget. Seriously.

Be informed and educated regarding your own financial situation and on finances in general.

A husband is not a financial plan.

If you leave the work force, do not burn any bridges. Keep in touch with your previous employers and coworkers. Go out to lunch with them once a year. They will be your references down the road and can let you know about opportunities if you need/want to go back to work.

Even if you aren't earning a salary, you can still add to your resume. Find ways to volunteer in the community to keep your skills up and add to your experience and contacts. Update your resume once a year.

I will probably go listen to the thing again, because it really was helpful. It looks like at some point they plan to have other episodes along the same lines, dealing with going back to work, etc.

I'd like to hear from you, though. Does anything about this touch a nerve? If you aren't working right now, does that kind of freak you out like it does me? ("Wow, I am now completely financially dependent upon another person while my own skills get rusty and how can I even do this for X more years gaaaah") Does anyone wish they could quit their job but that's just not possible? Anyone have more good advice to add to what's above?

Okay, fine. Let's do resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 23:42:00 +0000

I know I said I'm not into resolutions. But I listened to a really great, inspiring lesson in Relief Society on Sunday about the power to change just after I started seeing other people's cool resolutions on the Interwebs and gosh darnit if those two things combined didn't start to make me feel all eager beaver about becoming a bright shiny new person.

So. At least for the moment, I'm doing this thing. Here are the three categories that were easiest to do:

Marriage
Make sure to get GH out of the house once a week or he gets cranky
Get to the temple together 1x per month
[Something about prioritizing Grown-up Togetherness Time of which specifics the Internet probably doesn't care to read]

Social
Send cards in the mail
Have friend(s) over for dinner at least 1x per month
Start a knitting group

Mad Skillz
Sewing: Make Spitfire show me how to use the sewing machine that's sitting upstairs and cover all my nasty throw pillows with the fabric that is also sitting upstairs.

Cosmetology: Get Spitfire to teach me how to cut GH's hair. An ugly free haircut has to be better than a decent $15 one, right? (Note: this logic does not apply to my own hair.) (Second note: Thank you, Spitfire, for featuring so prominently in my New Year's Resolutions.)

Knitting: Make a grown-up lady sweater for my very own self. Specifically this one:

$5 Paris sweater, pattern & image
from Knitting Up a Storm

Because the sweater is fitted, my guess is that I'll get pregnant while knitting it and will then not be able to wear the thing (or even finish knitting it). But hey, that's a dare I'm totally willing to throw at the Universe. (Remember that one time when I planted a garden and bought a gym membership and then BOOM GH got a new job and we moved? I am maybe learning from that.)

Librarianing: Get self back behind a library desk. Because this whole civilian library user thing is crap.

I'm making a good start, don't you think?

They are kind of like resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 23:24:00 +0000

As mentioned here previously, I'm not that big into resolutions anymore. But I did come up with a 2013 list of what I wouldn't really call Resolutions but more Things I'd Like to See Happen But if They Don't, Oh Well.

1. Write in my journal regularly.

2. Send more cards in the mail to people. Everyone likes getting a card.

3. Keep my house cleaner, when it's convenient to do so and I remember to do it and there isn't something else I'd rather be doing.

My sister Jenny can't believe I could justify actually writing down something so short and weak-sauce, but I told her that I wrote them down in my journal while I was journaling, thus accomplishing Thing I'd Like to See Happen #1.

So BOOM.

I don't know, I start thinking about things I'd like to accomplish this year, but really with it being January and 9 degrees Fahrenheit outside, the only thing that is actually imperative for me to succeed at is the part where I need to get through The Februaries (and possibly the Marches) without killing anyone. The Februaries, I believe, are why Hawaii was invented.

Mmmmm . . . Hawaii . . .

Last year I wrote about how I wanted to try to do more Intentional Living. A lot of you chimed in with some great thoughts and ideas of your own. Now is probably a good time for me to revisit that idea and see if there are ways I could be doing better. (Note: I could be doing better in all of the ways, but I need to pick and choose, here. You know how it is.)

2012 Book roundup

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 03:10:00 +0000

I had such a nice Christmas, and hope you all did too!

Now that the year is winding down it is time to speak of the books. Since I did this last year I wanted to do it again.

The thing is, though . . . ugh. I had a Goodreads goal to read 70 books this year and came nowhere close. I had to go in and reduce the goal to 50 so I wouldn't be a loser, and I didn't even make that goal.

Except look, I had a garden this year, okay??? And I moved. And started a new, even bigger garden. And I had to leave my job where sometimes I got to read kids' chapter books at the reference desk. Also there was all that canning. Plus Pinterest happened. So back up off me.

Here, though, were some of my favorites this year--the ones I kept thinking about or talking about afterwards.

The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson. Between 1915 and 1970, almost 6 million black Americans left the South in search of better living conditions and opportunities. The author conducted thousands of interviews and focuses specifically on three people while showing how the migration changed our country & influenced history. This book was fascinating, and written so well that it moved quickly.

The Beast in the Garden: The True Story of a Predator's Deadly Return to Suburban America by David Baron. Reads like a thriller, and is the reason why I am now on the lookout for cougar in my yard. Like, constantly, constantly on the alert.

The Language of Flowers: a Novel by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. My sister Jenny kept telling me to read this book, and then I did--all in one go, between about 10pm and 2am one night. The ending is happy but there is a lot of heartbreak before you get there. So good, though.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. I read this one because of all the buzz, and man are there some messed-up people in this thing. I did love the way I started out thinking I was reading a pretty predictable domestic crime story, but then got to Part 2. Which is when my jaw dropped, I said, "SHUT. UP." really loudly, and then could not stop reading until the (bitter, beyond twisted) end.

No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around our Gay Loved Ones by Carol Lynn Pearson. Already talked about this one when I first read it--I think this should be required reading.

The Book of Mormon Girl: A Memoir of an American Faith by Joanna Brooks. That Joanna Brooks--so sassy. Did you know she got to go on The Daily Show and chat with Jon Stewart about this book? (Lucky . . . ) The way she describes some of her childhood experiences (being "a root beer among the Cokes") absolutely captures the way I frequently felt growing up. Later she describes her crisis of faith as an adult and her road back to church. I love reading and listening to her--she has such a positive, encouraging tone. And she's just a smartie-pants.

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. The Gentleman Husband started reading this one before I did, and as soon as I picked it up I was hooked. Cline has created an amazing (awful) world where people understandably prefer to conduct as much of their lives as possible in virtual reality. Our hero, Wade, is searching for 1980s-pop-culture-related clues left behind by the game's creator. If he wins, he inherits the creator's fortune. As a child of the 80s, I loved all the movie/TV/music references. (Also, wasn't expecting to love the idea of the virtual schools so much, but seriously--they sound awesome.)

A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling her Husband "Master" by Rachel Held Evans. Just finished this one on Jana Riess's (whose Flunking Sainthood is also awesome) recommendation and it gave me a lot to think about. The author approaches her year-long experiment from a position of faith, but is still pretty funny about it.

The best part is that you can get this as a Kindle download right now for $1.99! The chapter about being a "Proverbs 31 Woman" (hint: think "Eight-Cow Wife") is worth at least that. And if you've read it you will understand when I throw up a fist and shout, "Woman of valor!" at you when you accomplish something like cleaning your oven or renewing your DMV registration or meeting your Goodreads goal.

Anybody else want to chime in with their top reads from 2012? Or link to their own post?

Fa la la la laaa, la la la laaaaaa

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Sat, 22 Dec 2012 23:12:00 +0000

Just getting all ready for Christmas over here. I'm knitting and baking and wrapping and very much enjoying all the goodies that keep showing up at my house every day. Every time I think to myself, "Whither the baked goods, we seem to be out!" the doorbell rings. My taste buds thank the givers--my pants, not so much.

Remember those pie fillings I made and jarred back when I was pretty much being Laura Ingalls Wilder's mom? They are now finding homes as neighbor gifts, along with some of the jams and jellies from this fall.

I'm finishing up a few homemade gifts, including several sets of Olliblocks (regular and winter edition) for the Dark Lord and a niece and nephew. These awesome things are the brain child of my talented friend Alma Loveland.

image from Caravan Shoppe

The nice thing about being friends with the creator is that you can send her frantic texts about your Olliblocks-related Modge Podge panics on her birthday when she is in Disneyland on vacation. She was very gracious about the whole thing, and it turned out that everything was fine. Woops.

In other holiday happenings, it appears that GH is slowly turning our Christmas tree into an ode to pop culture, especially with the Hallmark ornaments he found at Kohl's this year and threw a complete nerd fit over.

Ahem.

the Back to the Future car

And

plays the Ghostbusters theme song when
you press a button, I kid you not

In his defense, I knew what he was when I picked him up. He asked me what kind of ornament I would want if I could pick anything, and after thinking about it for a minute I said I would want something from Pride and Prejudice, and like maybe if you push a button you would hear Colin Firth talking about how much he ardently admires and loves you.

Check out what showed up last night:

from Cafepress.com

Yeah, I now have Mr. Darcy on my Christmas tree. Turns out they make such things. Without knowing he had this in mind, I'd already made GH this to show that I can go ahead and embrace the pop culture tree:

Tiny Jayne Hat pattern by Audrey Helou

Hoping all your last-minute preparations are going well!

I did call this, you know

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 21:51:00 +0000

Remember that one time when I talked about Sherlock? If you recall, I included this statement in my remarks:

I love Martin Freeman as Watson. He was great as Tim in The Office, is great in this, and he is going to be great in The Hobbit, along with my friend Richard Armitage who I feel certain will push previously understood limits of dwarf attractiveness (my prediction, you saw it here).

So. I did see The Hobbit last weekend and . . . yeah. They are totally pushing the "~~Richard Armitage~~ Thorin Oakenshield is the next ~~Viggo Mortensen~~ Aragorn with the tragic backstory and the broody face and the heroic future of destiny and probably he will end up pushing open some big ol' double doors in the rain in slow motion and it will be awesome" angle.

I can dig it.

I wonder if they've even toned down some of the makeup (I can just imagine the makeup artists being all, "You want me to do WHAT to this bone structure and pair of piercing blue eyes?") because the early photos of him in costume looked a bit too Klingon for my tastes.

So instead of this:

Klingon Dwarf, yikes.

We get this:

Aw yeah

And also this:

Bam

In one scene (hint: trees + fire) the slow-motion, sweeping-score heroics was so dramatic that I burst into giggles, even as I was maybe kind of dying inside from the hotness. I may have even let a "how YOU doin'" slip. But since I was sitting behind this massive line of crazy nerd men who kept screaming like tweens every time Ian McKellen came onscreen, I'm not too worried about how I may have been perceived.

Other notes about The Hobbit: It was too long at times, way too scary & gory for kids (seriously, please do not bring little kids), and there was only one female character. Humph.

I noted that they snagged one of the dwarves from a boy band or similar:

Somebody forgot his dwarf nose

And another from Waking Ned Devine. It's Pig Finn, everybody! Now go watch that movie because it is wonderful.

I've been usin' some fruity soaps!

Be sure to keep an eye out for Flight of the Conchords' (and Academy Award-winning) Bret McKenzie to show up as an elf. Then spend a few minutes giggling and whispering, "Brit. Brit." to yourself.

I'm also looking forward to the showdown between Bilbo and Smaug. Because Smaug is voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch, it will be like a little Sherlock reunion. And now we've come full circle!

That's what you get for being subversive!*

noreply@blogger.com (Nemesis) — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 20:55:00 +0000

I got a comment from someone asking if I was going to weigh in on Pants Day. Except I kind of don't want to, because I'm a bit burned out from all the people yelling about it.

Here is an explanation from Joanna Brooks about what this was about.

Here is an awesome article that explains why some of the current policies and procedures (note: not the doctrine) of the Church make some women feel unequal.

Here is an even awesomer article that explains how men experience church culture differently from women.

The event organizers set the date for December 16th and created a Facebook event page. And then the WHOLE. DANG. INTERNET. EXPLODED.

Or at least that's how it seemed to me. Things got super, super ugly. I have to say--if the idea of women wearing pants to church (which is not against the rules) or wanting to discuss the idea of gender inequality within our culture can bring out this kind of anger, defensiveness, offensiveness, and let's not forget death threats from people who all profess to be brothers and sisters in Christ, then clearly, all is not well in Zion.

I did wear a purple scarf with my dress on Sunday to show support, and the Gentleman Husband wore a purple tie. The day before, I'd received a call from a member of my bishopric. My first thought: "Crap, how did they know I was thinking about wearing pants???"

Turns out, that's not why they were calling. They wanted to ask me to be the new Gospel Doctrine teacher in my ward.

Now . . . I've only been in this ward for about six months, and I really love it. I love the vibe, love the people, love it all. But I absolutely did not expect this. The two current teachers are white middle-aged males who are well-read, articulate, experienced, and at least one of them has a professional teaching background. I can't help but feel that I'm . . . a step in a different direction, if you will. (GH's response: "Are you sure they were asking you to teach the adults? Of course you'd be great, but are you sure it's not one of the teenage classes or somethings?") I'm going to take it as a huge compliment that they'd ask me to get up there and do my thing, even if I am beyond nervous and intimidated.

I feel very blessed to live within the boundaries of a ward whose leaders and members cultivate a sincere attitude of outreach and inclusiveness. The fact that they're calling a young female whippersnapper like me to teach Gospel Doctrine to all the Real Live Grownups is just one example of that. If I'd shown up in pants last Sunday, I doubt anybody would have had a thing to say about it. But I know that's not everybody's experience, and that there are many women who do feel marginalized, who feel that their voices are not heard or wanted, and who wonder if they really belong in our church. That's why I wore purple--to say, "I hear you," and also, "You absolutely belong here--come sit by me."

*My mom's response when I called with the news about my new Church job. Nice one, Mom. When I start teaching out of Rough Stone Rolling, I'll be sure to say it was her idea.