Deliriously Normal

Any way you look at it…

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 01:08:00 +0000

True. Funny, but true.

Dead Ed

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:52:00 +0000

Ed McMahon, former Tonight Show sidekick, Publishers Clearning House shill and Cash4Gold faceman has died.

That was the obligatory celebrity obit for the year, now back to shit that actually matters.

On the Lighter Side

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 05:41:00 +0000

This chick is a total keeper.

Can u do this

Jurassic Park Re-imagined.

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:10:00 +0000

I like this one better.

Things I Learned From Twitter

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:17:00 +0000

Glad I’ve never been to Vegas.

The Players, Unmasked.

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 02:51:00 +0000

The charade must end.

Intense Debate=Intense Replaced

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:07:00 +0000

After the digital abortion that removing Intense Debate turned out to be, I’ve decided that flashy overyhyped Ajax comment systems basically suck. So, welcome back standard issue comments. ID worked fine for about two days, then my ‘recent comments’ widget failed. First on Firefox, then on IE. It actually suffered a cascade failure for some unknown reason. Other widgets from ID still worked, but the recent comments one was utterly MIA.

Comments would randomly disappear from my dashboard, from the site, it was pretty piss poor, considering I made no configuration changes to it after it was installed. After spending an inordinate amount of time trying to fix it, I finally gave up and switched to my backup theme several months ahead of schedule. So, here it is, the new, in progress version. Thanks to those that commented on my COD map pack 2 thread…sorry your comments were all wiped out after the change.

Testing the new theme

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:53:00 +0000

This is only a test. Had this been an actual post, the title you just saw would have been followed by actual content.

Intense Debate is Screwed Up Again

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:46:00 +0000

For some reason, the option to add comments is only sporadically appearing on my posts. It seems you’ve got to click on the post title itself to then add comments. This is most certainly uncool. Looks like I’ll be ripping out Intense Debate and replacing it for this and other reasons.…though I’m having similar problems with Disqus on another site. Are there any comment systems that don’t suck?

Call of Duty: Waw Map Pack 2

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 05:52:00 +0000

First impressions of Map Pack 2: Awesome. I played each of the three new MP maps (didn’t get time for Japanese Zombies) and I have to say, each has a different feel, and is very well thought out and developed. Banzai is essentially Bridge on the River Kwai with perks. Lots of routes back and forth, lush jungle scenery, and just big enough to feel big without being huge (I’m looking at you, Airfield.) This map seems to cater to rifles and machine guns.

Corrosion is a smaller, industrial map with lots of sniping spots and ambush locations. Definitely more submachine gun and shotty action here. Being a smaller map, it’s also a lot faster paced.

Rounding out the package is Sub Pens, an almost claustrophobically small map which is also a shotgun and SMG lover’s heaven. Lots of good choke points lead to some pretty pitched fighting. Snipers are not left out here though, as the main sub-bay is wide enough for some serious control room to control room sniper matches. I used an SVT-40 with an aperture sight and cleaned up with it.

Listening to the Xbox Live chatter, the reaction was very much positive, and I have to second the opinion. These well-designed maps definitely breathe some new life into the World at War gameplay.

Pair that with double XP from now through Tuesday the 16th, and it’s a knockout combination.

Verdict: 5/5 Treyarch knocked this one out of the ballpark, and I haven’t even checked out the new zombie mode.

Sometimes You Just Know

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 01:45:00 +0000

I’ve had days like this.

Celebrity Lookalike

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 13:49:00 +0000

I present, NOT Tom Cruise.

Grammar Nazi Grammar Fail

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 01:01:00 +0000

Your WIN is actually FAIL and thus WIN. The 4chan cycle of life is complete.

I Bring You: Guns.

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:22:00 +0000

Oh god I love this shit:

Want.

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 06:34:00 +0000

A simple link for your enjoyment.

Fuck You, Apple

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:23:00 +0000

This shit really pisses me off. What in the hell…I just opened iTunes and guess what I got treated to?

One of these things is most definitely not like the others. I’ve tolerated a lot of shit from this hippie sandal-wearing cult of personality, but come the fuck on. I’m so tired of this tolerance and acceptance garbage. I don’t have to tolerate or accept shit. Why is it that every gay person on earth apparently feels the need to let their sexuality define them? ‘Oh hi, I’m Andy, I’m gay.’

I don’t walk up to people and say ‘Hi, I’m Chris, I like tits!’ I mean, who really cares? I don’t give a shit if you want to go play excalibur in the corner with a leathered up biker dude, just don’t come over and tell me all about it, because I really don’t wanna know. Similiarly, I don’t care how many Playboy models you claim you get it on with on a daily basis. What you do with your junk on your own time is your own business.

Don’t give me this shit about ‘oooh, it’s a lifestyle…’ fuck you. Kayaking is a lifestyle. Being gay is a behavior.

I have the displeasure of living about an hour from DC, which is pretty much this coast’s San Francisco and I see enough gay pride stickers, rainbow decals, pink triangles, and all that happy horseshit on a daily basis. Now I can’t even fucking open iTunes to check out new music without having to see this crap.

Before any one of you assholes out there start playing the religion card, let me just tell you, religion has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t appreciate this stuff. Again, I direct your attention to the first paragraph of this post. You could be the gayest sonofabitch this planet ever produced…you could literally fart showtunes and shit studded leather and I wouldn’t care. Just don’t involve me in it. I don’t care where you shove your junk. I do not fucking care. If you are so vapid and shallow as to feel the need to define yourself by what you screw, then I really and truly pity you.

Czech This Out

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 00:52:00 +0000

Facebook Danger #254-7B

Subject: Your Family Portrait
Detail: Ends up on Czech storefront.
Conclusion: Creepy

Flight 447 Where Are You?

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:43:00 +0000

Remember yesterday when the news was filled with updates about wreckage of Air France 447 being found?

Not so much. These ‘investigators’ and I use the term loosely, are a bunch of clueless idiots. Here’s a sample:

Among the debris was a wooden pallet that they believed had been used to load luggage on to the plane, which disappeared over the Atlantic early Monday morning with 228 people on board.

Brigadier Ramon Cardoso, director of Brazilian air traffic control, said: 'We confirm that the pallet found is not part of the debris of the plane. It's a pallet that was in the area, but considered more to be trash,' he said.

He added the Airbus that vanished on Monday did not have any wooden pallets on board.

'That's how we can confirm that the pallet isn't part of the remains of the aircraft,' Cardoso said.

Holy shit. I bow in awe of the Holmesian logic. I’m also curious as to why ‘officials’ are chomping at the bit to hammer home the point that the flight data recorders likely won’t be found.

I mean, it’s not like

Air France received a false bomb threat for a flight from Argentina to Paris days before a plane went missing over the Atlantic.

No way that could be connected right?

France's defense minister earlier said there was " no sign " of terrorism regarding the crash on the Airbus 330 from Rio de Janeiro to Paris.

I’m going to play devil’s advocate here and say maybe that’s because they haven’t found the fucking plane!

I’m not trying to say it WAS terrorism, it could just as easily have been an accident, but I think it’s reprehensible and irresponsible to rule it out.

For the Haterz

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:17:00 +0000

In keeping with the unfortunate Sesame Street theme I’ve got going on, Big Bird would like you to back the f*ck up.

Sweet

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 07:12:00 +0000

311 kicks ass. Just sayin’.

Wow. Just…wow.

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:29:00 +0000

I don’t really have words for this. Terror, pity, and mild amusement are the closest I can come up with.

Assume Choking Chicken Stance, Grasshopper

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:24:00 +0000

David Carradine has died. He was in Bangkok filming a new movie, and was found dead in the closet of his hotel room. According to the BBC:

Thai police told the BBC the 72-year-old was found naked by a hotel maid in a wardrobe with a cord around his neck and other parts of his body.

Earlier versions of this report contained the words ‘his genitals’ in place of the much more benign ‘his body.’ The internet is of course filling up with warm and fuzzy tributes to Carradine, and so, while a death is regrettable, and remembrances are touching, I would like to remind everyone that he most likely died while…well, you know…

Maryland: We Excel at Two Things

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 14:31:00 +0000

Taxing the shit out of people, and killing them. Go Terps!

Balls of Titanium

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 05:55:00 +0000

For all of you out there, who, like me, have been tailgated by ‘the man’ at one time or another, or have had a cop ride your ass for no reason, giving you the all too familiar adrenaline rush of destruction, this one goes out to you. Without further delay, the man with the largest, most resilient, dent resistant and intrepid balls on the face of the planet…

This is the first time I’ve ever literally ROFL’d at something. Roffling does not come easy to me.

Played Out but Funny

noreply@blogger.com (Chris) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:50:00 +0000

I love when played out cliches are mocked with expert skill. You will too. Come LOL with me.