Another Voice

Puja pa'th

2009-10-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

Religion is something very personal. When it comes to following practices and having beliefs, i don't like to push myself into any kind of discussion with anyone. I believe everyone has his/her own way of approaching God and perceiving reality, which can be achieved by either sitting silent to dancing to the tunes at extreme.
Divinity can be approached anyways.

It is very important to have a puja Place in home. It could be anything from as big as a room to a small corner,just about few inches. Corner surely helps to gather all the scattered thoughts.

Who can diminish the value of small diya(lamp)? Though i am married into a family where lighting diyas and burning incense, ringing bells and idol worship are all considered of no use and instead silent meditation is stressed, even then i believe all this paraphernalia have their own importance. Diya(lamp) spreads ethereal radiance all around. Incense makes the environment more heavenly. (of course one should not be allergic to the smell). I guess singing bhajan is a great stress buster. One need not have a perfect voice and also it is more or less the truth that one loves one's voice. I love singing bhajans, for i personally feel it makes me feel much better and leaves me a much purified human being.

I sang bhajan before aarti on diwali. It was fun later on see myself in a video made by my husband where i could see myself trying hard to sound like a seasoned singer!!

I would like to recommend everyone to give some time everyday to bow down to guru and be thankful for everything and at the same time to tell Him how some things are causing pain and to protect us and make us light from the load of karmas.

Puja at home

2009-10-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

My daughter turned two last week. Her birthday was on the 'Karva Chauth day',the day when most of the married Indian ladies fast full day for the well being and long life of their husbands. So I decided to celebrate her birthday rather the next day, i.e. the day after Karva Chauth in my own little way. What could have been better than a simple puja for her good life. So it was decided that we shall be having "Sai Puja" with a few friends. I had informed all my friends a week before about the puja at my place which would start 11 sharp in the morning followed by Noon aarti of Sai baba and lunch afterwards.
It was for the first time that I had arranged a puja on my own. But it feels really good to be doing something for your child.
I started Shri Sai Amritvani exactly around 11:15 when two of my friends had managed to make it to my home in time. I didn't want to delay my activities. It is always good to stick to the time. Not only everything went off well but everybody appreciated the punctuality of the events also. After lunch I expected friends to sit for some time but not as long as to eat up my whole day. I can't tell how I was dying to enjoy the silence, the positive silence and how I had wanted to relish and savour the vibes created by naamjap/recitation of god's name at my place.
Well, my point is that puja at some one's place should be treated as puja only. Sometimes Idle chit chatting does harm. After lunch/prasadam guests can sit for some time, can have some light talks and afterwards make ways to their homes. Any kind of religious activity at home creates positive energy. It is very important that the positive energy should linger. Maybe that's why most of the Satsang sabhas or religious lectures want people to leave once they get prasadam. Everyone is entitled to the pure nectar that recitation of god's name/namajapa has to offer.

"Aadmi theek se dekh pata nahin"

2009-09-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

"Aadmi theek se dekh pata nahin
aur pardey pe manzar badal jata hai"

Nobody was there to stop me. I was free to say, to dream, to prioritize. I didn't care, thinking I can come back whenever I want. Little did I realize that time was building a wall. I look back to see nothing. Life is so harsh. It conspired with time to drift me away to another shore.

"Aaina mujhse meri pehli se soorat mangay"

Where is compassion...Where is that feeling now? How i would run at one cry!! my heart was pure. But suddenly what has happened? or should I say 'slowly'. Was i really waiting for this metamorphosis, i wonder.

Life is harsh as it has taught me to love when love is gone, it has taught me the importance of self control when I am restless to infinity. It has given me hope when I am hopeless.

I can't look back. I can't bring back, neither people nor dreams. But i do wish to bring back compassion and desire to live, to say that Life is Beautiful.

"Sahib meri nazar mein teri nazar ka noor day....mere mann main jyot jagade sahib"

This is possible (shayad) ,for I don't want to give space to "returning anytime theory".

about me...

2009-09-09T18:49:00.000-07:00

I was an average student. Neither a back-bencher nor someone who had the courage to sit at the front. I was weak in maths but strong in permutation and combination in that i could in most cases was able to judge where teachers gaze could fall in case of an oral test in the class. I loved to hide my face behind the heads of the other students in the case of an oral test.
I was never given a chance to act as a girl in my school's functions as i had a boy- cut and well suited for a boy's look.
But i loved books a lot. I would dream of having a big house with an even bigger reading room. I was never afraid of working hard.
Now Life has changed. I am a housewife, that sounds bit outdated...let me say homemaker. I have a degree, an acumen to handle and understand things.
I remember that throughout I was working hard for something. Though an average in every respect, yet my Parents had confidence in me.
That phase is a passe' now. I didn't get a chance to prove that i was beautiful..that i was strong.
I am sorry papa. You never expected anything,for you loved me unconditionally. I wish if i had done something to make you proud.
(Nobody is being forced to read what I write.)

silence

2009-09-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

We have just returned from India after my brother-in-law's wedding. The silence of my house is biting. It is hard for me to face the silence and loneliness after the hustle and bustle of the wedding house. It is good to be among people, to be away from the web of our own thoughts.
I am on my own again. Free to think...to create meanings, to refute reality but eventually accepting it...to wonder how people get testimonials, how people become fans of one another on their public profile...all other trivial matters are welcomed!!!

'A Come Back'

2009-09-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

I was away for so long from my blog space. I can't promise to be regular again, for I feel I can't write unless my mind and heart sit in sync with each other.
Life is good. My computer problem has got fixed and that too without spending any penny.

I sincerely wish to re-awaken my space with my perspectives on life and relationships in general.

Hope to be back soon with interesting insights.

Without You

2009-06-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

I tried to wake you up, I besought you to be active but you were stubborn, you didn't move an inch, didn't show any signs of life. It was depressing to see you go away like this...

When you were alive, i tried to spend my maximum time with you. Leaving all my household chores pending, i loved to spend my time with you. It won't be wrong to say that i had got addicted to you. Your company would fill my boring days with life.

Days without you were different, i mean difficult!! I would stand in a fix at one corner of my room wondering when would you come back. I had nobody to talk to, to share my feelings with. It was as if i was also dead. But life has to go on. I thought i would make myself so busy that your thought should never cross my mind. I called up my friends and invited them at home. I spent maximum time with my daughter those days. I laundered and ironed. I cooked and served. Oh how active i was in those days!! Your absence had made a perfect housewife out of me. Even my husband could see the difference after returning home from the office. How clean and organised was the whole set up!!

Without you i was learning to live...but man proposes one way and god disposes the other. I renewed my relationship with my ex. He has given me back my old routine, though i am waiting for you.
(This was about my new laptop which is yet to be repaired and 'ex' above is my old laptop.)

It is hard to obey rules sometimes...hard to resist

2009-06-16T06:25:00.001-07:00

He to her, "It is more than forty years since we met...I would like to meet you again."
She, "It is just not realistic to pick up the threads and go on from here."
He, "Life is short...we must meet again."
Did they meet again?
Yes, they did as she admitted that it is him who she sees in front of her every time.

Recently, I watched a movie "Innocence" filmed by Australian Director Paul Cox. The Movie is about the reunion of the lovers, who are in their seventies.

The story is that the widowed musician Andreas(played by Charles Tingwell)decides to get back in touch with his first love Claire, who is a married woman with a son. The Flashback technique rather the speechless flashback technique used by the director shows us how intensely they loved each other when they were teenagers. It has though, not been made clear why they didn't get married and went the separate ways.
They are old and seeing each other almost after fifty years and one meeting is enough to push them to fall again for each other. The dilemma of an old woman caught up in such a situation is clearly discernible. She decides not to hide her feelings from her husband and tells him all about her rekindled love with Andreas. From then on there was no looking back for both of them. She even goes to stay with him and cares for him when he gets hospitalised.
To see two old people making love to each other was hard to believe at first because as grown ups we never thought that our parents make love as they would when they were young. But i would not like to dwell on this part of the movie.
Claire's explanation for her taking a step forward towards Andreas is quite convincing. She tells her son,who is also a doctor, how woman feels.

"It isn't always possible to resist, to obey the rules and deny the things that really matter." Maybe she wanted to tell that she is guilty of being unfaithful to her husband but that she is helpless.
She tells her son,"Your father is kind, almost perfect but I want him to be foolish at times, to be vulnerable, to need me. Women are like that, we can't help it." I agree with Claire, woman always want to be needed. She doesn't want to live with a perfectionist but a man who is tender and vulnerable and has a sentimental streak in persona.
I felt pity for Claire's husband, I could feel his pain and insecurity and felt good when finally he takes step or rather raises his voice in order to get his wife back.
But then, was it Claire's fault? As a woman I could sympathise with her. It is really not possible, at least for a woman, not to love what she once loved badly. Fortunate ones can have lovers as life partners or life partner as lover.
It is insensitive to be hard to those who love you as it was insensitive on Claire's part to ignore her husband feelings who loved her but as she said sometimes it is hard to resist. Claire dies in the end leaving both the men behind but she dies in perfect peace. (The movie is rated R for adult content)

NYC

2009-06-10T07:49:00.001-07:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

NYC

2009-06-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

If one has ever seen the dramas and the movies, no matter of what language, one must visit NYC at least once in one's lifetime.
Love it or hate it but one can't ignore it.
Surely, you will find it big and busy than your own hometown.
The Streets, the pathways, the neon signs, the crowd, the skyscrapers, the brands, the bridges and the people...it is world in itself.

The above doesn't mean that I have been turned into a fan of this city but that I am happy to have seen the places that I have been earlier through the lens men now myself. Nothing great about the city. Yes, it is big and it never sleeps. The City has administered itself a high dose of drugs that keeps it awakes.

To tire oneself out in the queue, to be taken to the 86Th floor of The Empire State building, for the bird's eye view of the city wasn't worth.
Believe me, that to see Michael Jackson dancing on the statue of liberty in one of his famous videos "Black or White" was more exciting to me than being there in reality. I had far more grand and beautiful picture of the statue in my mind than that I saw in reality. Maybe that's why it is said that fantasy or imagination is better than reality.

Well I am not here to criticise the city. I loved the city tour in an open air bus.
I loved being in the crowd. How busy it is to be in the crowd and to feel free!!
To be on the Brooklyn bridge was refreshing where I forced my husband for a bollywood pose.

It was heartbreaking to see the ground zero, the place of September attacks.
If somebody asks me whether i would like to visit NYC again, my answer would be "yes" but not for the statue or the park or the skyscrapers or the Times Square but for it streets and subways that never sleep.

My Niagara Falls and New York City Trip

2009-05-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

We are back from our trip to the Niagara falls and the New york City.
One thing that this vacation has given me is the opportunity of maximum air travel.
We travelled by air from Louisville, Kentucky to Buffalo, New York (with a halt in Detroit, Michigan) for the Niagara Falls and the next day we boarded a flight from Buffalo, NY to JFK Airport, NY for New York City and finally from Laguardia,NY to Louisville ,Kentucky (with a halt in Washington D.C. National airport) for back home.
So it makes total 5 flights. Air Experience in itself.
But I don't like travelling by air. Though it saves time and is not tiresome but still the thought of safe landing lurks at the back of one mind's always. It is certainly a visual delight to see the clouds and the landscape beneath though.

Coming to the Niagara Falls or The Niagara Falls State Park from where one can experience the beauty of the falls (from the U.S. side).
As it is important for one to bathe in the Ganges in India so is important to see the Falls if one has ever been to the U.S. and I am happy that I am done with this ritual, "The Niagara Darshan".
Every other face in the park was an Indian. Not even for a second it crossed my mind that I was in a different country, in the U.S.. The Falls are beautiful and so is the 'Cave of the Winds'. 'The Cave of the Winds' is the name given to the adventure where the visitors are taken closer to one of the falls i.e. 'the bridal veil'. An elevator took us deep into the Niagara Gorge. Then, clad in a bright yellow poncho and wearing the special footwear provided, we followed a tour guide over a series of wooden walkways to the famous "Hurricane Deck". The rushing waters loomed above us, dousing us with a generous spray as we faced the thundering Falls head-on.
One has to experience it to know why Niagara Falls is the "Honeymoon Destination of the world". We missed the Boat ride named 'Maid of the Mist' as by the time we reached the entry gate to the boat ride, it had already closed and before it opened the next day, we had caught our flight for New York city. Chalo, Next time.
I am feeling too lazy to write more. Shall continue with this post... Meantime some pics for you to enjoy:

What I am Up to these days?

2009-05-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

Me and My husband have planned to experience America through our sojourns in the New York. We will be visiting the Niagara falls and then will fly down to the most talked about, famous, visible city of the world, Yep, New York City.

I passed my past week mostly sneaking into the videos of the city courtesy YouTube.
Literally half of the world have religiously uploaded all their tour pics to Picasa.
Some of the Bollywood movies like 'Kal Ho na ho' and some others gave me heavy dose of what I can see there and the possible angels from where I can get myself clicked.
So much of viewing and virtual tours through Net have taken the thrill out of me.
I must admit that I have lost all the excitement before my trip.

The Skyscrapers don't titillate me. How much visual delight I would have among the hoardings in the times square or The Liberty Island is yet to be seen!!

I just hope that my camera gets me some wonderful shots. I wanna look my best with the imposing backdrops of The Statue and the Falls and the Central park and the Brooklyn Bridge...
Moreover, it is said you have to see it to believe it and I just hope too that I enjoy and bring back memories to cherish forever.

The best part of our journey, which hasn't yet started, is the pre-trip shopping.
How exciting it is to shop and plan what to wear where!!

To sum up, some times an anticipated visit to a small native place or place of emotional interest is far beckoning than a visit to most talked about town.

Biwi No 1

2009-05-17T03:06:00.000-07:00

Before I got married, I would hate all the Hindi movies that showed wife touching the feet of her husband. Even the picture of Lord Vishnu lying in his sheeshnaag's couch with goddess Lakshmi near His Feet, would irk me. My mind always wanted to question this submission and subordination. Even the idea of Karva Chauth( a daylong fast observed by wife for the well being and long life of her husband) was not very beautiful. Why must a wife observe?

The Life has its own way of teaching. It teaches without words. Sometimes we need to convince our mind before imbibing.
Giving respect is the first step towards Love. It is the way of inviting love. Showing respect to those who matter in your life, by whatever means, is one of the most beautiful ways of telling those persons how much You care for them and love them. for example, showing regard to our parents is a beautiful way to give them the message that they matter.

Experience of every individual differs from the other. My experience has taught me to show as much respect to my husband as is possible. The question of dominance and subversion was the fickleness of my mind. Nothing belittles me when i choose to walk behind him or when i choose to serve him in various ways like making his special food or getting up early to pack his lunch, taking out time to iron his clothes when we both are already late and have to get ready for the party.

Earlier i thought that the rules of marriage were laid down by the society but now i feel that nature has made us like that. There is a lot of happiness in this slavery, believe me.

Education not only teaches us to revolt but also to judge and arrive at our own realities. i might sound like one 'pativrata nari'(loyal wife), but it is beautiful to be his slave.
But at the same time I would like to reinforce that I am no Sita,(with reference to my previous post)
after all,

Dil Kabootarkhana hai, har kisika aana jana hai

Confession of a Faithful Wife...I Am No Sita...

2009-05-13T17:13:00.000-07:00

One of the episodes of "Ramayana" by Ramananda Sagar, where Sita comes to Ram to prove her innocence by offering herself to the Mother Earth if she has been Faithful to Her Husband Ram, leaves me disturbed and vexed.

I vividly remember the setting and the tone of Sita's dialogue in the Ram darbar of the Ramayana by R.Sagar. After getting out of the clutches of ravana, she is asked to prove her chastity to not only the whole ayodhya but to the world (watching her on the National television). Sita approached the Mother Earth and prayed, "O Mother Earth, this humble daughter of yours prays to you to protect her if she is pure." Sita further asks her mother the Earth to receive her if she had been faithful to Rama. "But if I have ever thought of any other man other than Ram - in thought or word or deed, nay even in dream - O Mother God, don't take me in your lap then."

When Sita swears her oath, four great nagas emerge from the ground and Mother Earth arises on a throne. She looks at Janaka, her husband, and smiles. She then takes Sita on her lap and they vanish below the ground.

The Ramayana set the standards for everyone of us to follow indeed and i don't doubt that a bit. Sita was bold enough to admit that she never thought of any man either in thought or word or deed let alone in her dreams.

Aren't we all sinners then....moving on this earth....rejected by the Mother Earth...?

(The views are my own and in no way meant to hurt any one's religious or otherwise feelings)

Cheeni Kum.....

2009-05-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

Married or Single, all men need to follow my post if they wish to know how woman feels....

My husband one evening landed at home with one of his friends. Though I had heard about his friend earlier but met him for the first time then. I Made 'chai', regular Indian tea for them. As soon as my hubby's friend or let us name him Mr.A, so as soon as he sipped in my tea he commented,"cheeni jaada hai"(it has lot of sugar in it). I offered him to make another cup, but he refused.

Some days back a couple(husband and wife) arrived at my home. I met both of them for the first time though they had met my husband earlier and were on a visit to my place on my husband's request. The ritual of making the tea started and finally ended in a cup ready to be grabbed and sipped!! and there came the feedback, "cheeni kum hai", the man said. I added some extra sugar in it and that's it.

The outcomes:
I don't feel comfortable cooking for Mr A. No doubt he was honest and tried to be at home and informal when he commented on my tea for the first time. But no woman wants this type of frankness in the first meeting.
As for me, Mr A could have sipped in the 'meetha cup of chai' the sweetened tea (except for when he is diabetic) and had requested me to put in less sugar the next time he visited us.
whenever my husband places a suggestion of inviting Mr A at home for the meals, i try to put it off by saying next time. It is not that woman can't take criticism or honest suggestion, it is all about etiquette. Had i known Mr A for quite some time, I could have listened to everything.
As for the man who demanded some sugar, i don't think he did any wrong. I feel he made us realize that he was comfortable at our place.

For men:
Only say when things can be improved(like cheeni kum). If nothing can be done it is better to be mum (cheeni jaada).
Women like compliments even for the commonplace and the trivial.

Give me some, i will give you the wholesome. I am the woman.

2009-05-01T21:36:00.000-07:00

I had warned my daughter that the vessel was hot. She was apprehensive at first to touch it but at the same time didn't know what her mum was saying. She realised what I meant only after taking it in her hand.
Our Life is like that only. Knowing is different from experiencing. We know so many things. Sometimes we read from somewhere, sometimes other people tell us about that but gravity of the situation is understandable only after we come face to face with it.
This observation could be linked up with so many instances in life.
But at the same time it is important to see life in all its colors. How could we then tell what it means to be alive and moving?
Life after marriage comes with a metamorphic change. The moment a girl enters her husband's house, she can sense the degree of maturity everyone around her demands and expects from her. It is like putting all that one has learnt in one's father's house to test. The real test of life. Though education has brought about a tremendous change in outlook of in-laws, yet, we can't rule out the level of expectation. It is the same through the ages. A girl, who suddenly becomes a woman after marriage, needs some time to get adjusted in the new environment. Here the support of her husband is of the utmost importance. She will be able to spread love only after feeling comfortable in the new environment.
My husband's cousin got married some time back. Before his marriage, he was telling both of us what he expects and how much he expects from his future wife. I told him that she would give hundred percent to him and his family even if she gets only a small fraction of love and freedom from their side.
A woman is like that, she is full of love from inside. A small gesture of love and care make her day. She knows how to respect and keep up all that she has imbibed since childhood.

Random jotting....as they strike my mind

2009-04-30T11:40:00.000-07:00

I Miss Indian newspaper here. I am currently enjoying the weather which shuttles between 18 to 22 degrees Celsius.
I read books to my toddler, this is the only way i can make her sit and eat her food. it is when i am reading and pointing to the pictures in the book that she eats.
We have get togethers here in our community. It is good to have long extended gup-shup sessions once or twice a month.
Weekends always start with little bit of laziness. It is fun to shop with my husband. Though, I think no husband in the world could "most happily" see his wife
shopping.
Sunday evenings are dull and boring as Monday blues stare my husband in his eyes.
It is always fun to have hubby's company 24/7 in the weekends. why do Mondays come?
My weekdays start with preparing food for my hubby's lunch. I pack his lunch. I iron his clothes(sometimes) as most of the time ironing is done a night before. then I give him a glass of milk and bid him goodbye.
My daughter is a late riser, so I straight away turn to my laptop to check for any mails and other stuff.
As soon as my daughter wakes up, the day takes a different turn. It is all about handling her tantrums and yielding to her.
My house turns into a playground with books and toys lying everywhere in the house.
I get respite when she sleeps in the afternoon. Her afternoon nap is a boon to me.
I get time for myself, though temporarily.
Soon comes the time of my hubby's arrival from office and the day ends in usual chit chatting or sometimes an evening walk.
I wonder who would be interested in my routine, for my hubby knows my routine and my daughter is not bothered.
Don't read it if one doesn't wish too because we all have our own daily routines.

aisay hee...

2009-04-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

People write fiction.
I asked my hubby as to how can people write about the things they haven't experienced in their lives,for example,if one has never been to some distant land, how can one write about the beauty of the place.
The answer he gave was straight and simple
"It is Imagination, as simple as that."
Yes, man can think, can dream, can imagine.
Mind creates and the man pours out through his creativity.

Self-Serve

2009-04-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

This post should be read by those who have already gone through my previous post named "Nanhi Kali". Having engaged oneself in an ennobling thought or deed of contributing towards a noble cause, it is time now to self-serve.

What is better than buying something for yourself!! The best way to dissect yourself in terms of your looks is to shoot yourself(photographically) and I bet you would feel like shooting your clothes(literally :)) and what to say of Vanity, she would be on her toes trying to find a place to hide somewhere!!

Or even if you don't wish to buy, try to imagine yourself a shopper and do some window or e-window shopping. This is the best anti-depressant. How many hours would simply pass by browsing vainly through the categories in an e-store , you wouldn't even come to know until very late.

From health to gadgets, don't spare even a single category, if you wish to be successful in an attempt to relax yourself.
Apart from uplifting your thoughts, it would make you a smart shopper, the one who knows every brand under the sun.
Moreover, if You want to look good, It is only today, for tomorrow never comes....

Wanna give it a try?

PS: only for those who have time to kill and bit depressed :).
(This post in no way forces anyone to shop or spend)

Nanhi Kali....

2009-04-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

Nanhi Kali is the name of the project jointly managed by KC Mahindra Education Trust and Naandi Foundation. Recently STAR Plus started a fund called 'project Laadli' in association with KC Mahindra Education Trust to support their ongoing project 'Nanhi kali'

The idea is to engage people in sponsoring a child and to seek contribution towards the education of underprivileged girl child.

By parting with few bucks, we can earn satisfaction of having done something towards a cause. Not Only Nanhi Kali and Project Laadli, but there are numerous waiting for our help.

Me and My husband, we both have contributed towards this cause. It takes less than what it takes to read this post.

"Sponsor a Nanhi kali"
The sponsorship amount for a child from Std I - VII, is Rs1800/- per annum.
The sponsorship amount for a child from Std VIII - X is Rs2500/- per annum
For more Information, One can visit "nanhikali.org".

(This post, in no way forces anyone to contribute. This is my personal opinion)
This blog post is part of Zemanta's "Blogging For a Cause" campaign to raise awareness and funds for worthy causes that bloggers care about.

Pehlay Soch hue ya Aap?.....Warning: A Peep into Philosophy

2009-04-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

I asked this question to my husband and he gave me a blank look. what came first:-being or state of being or to put it differently you as a body or as someone unique?
This question seems similar to an eternal inquiry as to who came first hen or egg?

Well, this idea might sound very absurd but the philosophers have long debated on this issue. The traditional viewpoint in the metaphysics believe that we have an essence before we exist whereas the existential viewpoint supported by philosophers like Satre and Camus say that we firstly exist and essence is determined later on or to put in their words 'Existence precedes Essence'. It means we exist first and then we become.

If Existence is the body then Essence is the soul. Essence is the set of ideas and beliefs. Simone de beavouir, supporter of feminist existentialism, has once said, "One isn't born a woman but becomes one".

This debate of 'existence preceding essence' or 'essence preceeding existence' is the first point to understand the philosophy of life. Are we because of certain set of beliefs and ideas or we form ideas based on our encounter with the world?

I do feel that first we exist and then we become and afterwards we get into a loop of existence and essence. In our life we take actions and get experiences which later on form our intrinsic nature and our nature prompts us to take actions and make choices in return.

Wanna give it a thought? This is the basis of absurd literature and philosophy.

Shabdon ke Jungle mein......

2009-04-19T12:48:00.001-07:00

The following composition, sung beautifully by Vikram Hazra of Art of Living Foundation, presents a total contrast to the kinds of lives we are living today.
We are entangled in the world of words. It reminds us of the Satchitanand or Eternal bliss that is within us.

Ek Tha Bachpan...

2009-04-12T01:05:00.000-07:00

To Dream a dream is no exception. Nestled in the cocoon of my own life, taking nourishment from the world outside, it was an un-meditative childhood. Innocence, purity, smiles, fears and aspirations...there was everything to adorn the simple me.
How can i forget "love" (not only for "a person") ? Love...growing in the womb of my heart and constantly taking nourishment from the contemplations and observations, was the potent driving force making me move and feel. How beautiful was the experience. I felt love for animated and inanimated world equally.
I was amidst people. All kinds of people..."black and white". Not though black and white in color but personas. I liked everyone. People not only from my life but from books i read and movies i saw.

Restless and calm, inquisitive and numb, sanguine and silent....life was an admixture of contradictions served on one platter.

I always try not to remember the day when I was refused admission into the gate of knowledge. I kept silent. Silence had to pay a price then.
How can i forget all those days when i was on the seventh sky? The petty prizes made of artificial metals had turned me into millionaire in one day, it seemed. The distance between the place, where i got accolades, and my home turned into miles under the excitement of disclosure. How i was waiting, on my way home with the prizes,to hug my mother and to be called 'the proud daughter' of my father !!
I am and will always remain the proud daughter of my parents, even if i do nothing. Parents love their children unconditionally. Unceasing love and support; what else is there to describe them.

I don't remember the length and breath of all my dresses, pretty frocks and flowing skirts adorned with laces and frills but i refreshingly remember all the colours and patterns of my garments. Even if it is possible to make all of them again although not by those small 'darji shops' i.e. tailor shops, is it possible, to bring back the ecstasy which was felt on wearing them at that time? Even the home-stitched clothe was something to be proud of.

'More Sinned Against Than Sinning'

2009-04-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

In today's society, women are broadly categorised into two types: those who remain at home only and those who go to work and manage home also.
I am the one who has seen the life from both the fronts.
Being on the earning front has lots of advantages. To earn is to be powerful. To earn is to see the effort being rewarded. To be at work is to put the reins on the mind or should i say it is like putting blinkers so that we may not slip into contemplating the life. To run from morn to eve is like stopping one's desire for looking back and regretting at the losses and separations.

A full-time home bound person is 'more sinned against than sinning'. If I am Jobless, I take away at least one parameter from the people around to judge me,that one parameter being my salary; as normally the worth of a person is decided by society depending on salary figures.

I don't know whether being a housewife only means being feckless!! I was at a party a few days back and when being asked what i do, whether i work or not, i plainly said no. (When actually i had wanted to tell the ladies that yes I work 24X7, as being a mother, i have the responsibility to not only bring up my child but to bring her up beautifully. My body clock starts before the persons in my family wake up and continues to tick even after they fall into slumber. I keep the home organised. I cook food, manage each and every corner of the place where the man gets rest and peace after the day's long work.). The prompt reply, by two of the ladies, after my no was that i don't look like a housewife and that I look like a working woman. I was not able to decide then and there how to take the remark in my stride. Whether i look smart and one who can confront the outside world or whether all home bound persons are dull and i am an exception. Our mothers have been housewives too. What that means. Is the body language of the working woman different from that of a 'Home bound' or are the housewives more fashionable than the working lot?

I surely feel that one must do something for a living. To earn is to be Independent. Lets say to do something is to be fruitful. It is beautiful feeling to see one's effort , in the form of eduation gained, being utilised. I would love to resume work once my daughter gets big enough to take care of herself. As of now, she needs me.
But at the same time i feel that the contribution of our mothers(Home bound) has been great. Someone was there to cook food when we were hungry, to wash our clothes and iron them too when we wanted to impress someone, to pack our lunch before the bus arrived, to wake us up when the night before we were down with exam fear, to arrange our birthday parties at home, to make our bed in cold chilly nights. The list is endless. The contribution is endless. Surely the homebound woman is 'more sinned against than sinning' when she is smarter than any MBA in the world.

Courtship...vivah se pehle

2009-03-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

Ours is an arranged match. The match was fixed at one of my relatives place where both of us met for the first time and talked. He said yes before i could say anything. Though I was given proper time by my parents to think over it and come up with my decision the next day. This was the beginning of the beautiful journey..one of the most beautiful dreams of every girl's life. I knew that he was my Knight in armour, my prince charming!!
The Courtship period was the best phase of my life. Suddenly i felt i grew in importance in some one's life. My daily routine became a matter to be discussed. what i do? what i read? my favourite singers? actors? who are my friends? what i like? and what i dislike? , all had been converted into hot topics by my 'would-b'. Surely i felt not less than a princess.
I got engaged in the month of February and got married in October and most of the time the month of our wedding seemed far away in the months in-between. How eager and excited we were to see each other everyday!!
I remember when he said that he loves me, the day was the most beautiful day of my life. I had wanted to experience all the filmy stuff like bells ringing, music playing, drums beating, me jumping like a fool etc etc after his confession.
I also didn't leave any stone unturned when it came to impress him and also at the same time make him feel important.

"tere mere sapne, ab ek rang hai
jahan bhi lay jaye rahein hum sang hain..."
(meaning: Our Dreams are one and We are together forever..)

Our Wedding day was fast approaching when his birthday came,and on his birthday all the relatives and friends were invited for a get together at home, a kind of sangeet function on the terrace.
A night before his birthday all the relatives arrived. As i had wanted to wish him up at a stroke of midnight and that too in a special way, he thought it most appropriate to sit at one corner of the terrace when everybody else was busy chitchatting downstairs. It was then that i dedicated the above song, from famous hindi movie, to him. I sang to him the whole song with all the notes and rhythem. How many days i had put in firstly selecting and then rehearsing the song for him !!!
This is the madness of love i guess !! or mere madness !! i don't know.