The Milk and Honey Life :-)

Travancore history: A Christian perspective: Part I

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 05:16:00 +0000

It’s not classy to use caste titles in a blog entry. But the history of Travancore cannot be explained with beeps –understanding the caste dynamics is necessary to unravel the complex patterns woven and shelved in a dark compartment of history. As any story of success, the first half has two clearly defined parties – the oppressor and the oppressed. When I flipped through the pages of history, I sensed that the victim group cannot be singled out as the group that was oppressed; it was the oppressor group as well. It must have been dismal to live with a conscience that allowed and desired cruelty, sanctioned by the societal norms. It’s understandable though that a ‘thinking’ group is prone to reason amongst themselves and devise a simple system with the intention to avoid chaos – people categorized based on occupations, leading to uneven distribution of power though that outcome was not originally intended. As long as the ‘strong’ respects that power and is considerate towards the ‘weak’, society can function well as planned but that scenario is very unlikely. Power corrupts and the ‘strong’ would eventually find new ways to exploit the ‘weak’. At first, these might crop up as exceptions, but over time the interest of the ‘stronger’ will find a way to become the major objective of societal norms. The oppressor and the oppressed are victims of this zero sum game and such inequalities leave scars in the souls of both groups. Any soul drowned in feelings of superiority or inferiority about something decided by birth such as intellectual disposition, race, attractiveness, strength, health, wealth, gender is deformed. So I feel grateful for both parties that the past is just that, past: more of an adjective than a noun.

I decided to post this entry when I started reading the book ‘Patha Chuvadugal’ by Bishop. Christudhas. I remember watching my father spend considerable time in the Kerala University library, Trivandrum to help the Bishop, put together this book, some years back. While scribbling notes, my father used to tell me stories about the upper cloth revolt and how the meaning of ‘freedom struggle’ had a different meaning in Travancore, ironically also known as the Dharma Bhoomi. I have never been a conformist of culture and this wasn’t something that held my attention at that time. My ancestor Zachariah was the first Indian missionary to be ordained as a Pastor in the Neyyoor Church– 4 Indian Christian missionaries were ordained in 1866 in Travancore, and he was one among them. That didn’t mean much to me until I saw his picture for the first time in this book. I allowed myself to tumble down the rabbit hole – it reminded me of things that I already knew and some more. I researched some other sources as well to make sense of the Travancore history.

Another reason that prompted me to post this entry is the kind of atrocities some castes that were once oppressed but prosperous now practice against the less privileged like dalits. There are small towns where the Backward Castes oppress and ostracize the Most Backward and the Sceduled caste/Tribes. It's important to remember the past and understand that the appropriate response to this new found prosperity is not pride but gratitude and that gratitude should make someone compassionate towards the downtrodden.

It’s hard to concise the Travancore history into a blog entry. I will try to categorize it the way that makes the most sense to me, from the vantage point of a Tamil Protestant Christian.

Travancore History: A Christian perspective

1. Timeline: The Sangam Age and beyond

2. Background : Residents, Missionaries, East India company

3. Major players : Rev. Ringle Taube, Rev. Mead

4. The Upper Cloth Revolt and the After Math

Timeline

Timeline is sacred to most Tamilians. They take great pride in the recognition of Tamil as a classical language. I know that it’s perplexing: the most probing question being, why would someone be so jingoistic about a language, especially the timeline? That’s because it reminds a Tamilian that their history goes beyond the dark episodes and it’s their way to find pride when the recent past is anything but that. It’s this collective consciousness that their identity goes beyond the recent times that makes the Tamil community what it is.

Travancore: The Sangam Age and beyond

The Sangam age is equivocally slated as the golden era of Tamil literature. Travancore, then part of the Chera Kingdom was divided into 5 divisions based on its topography– Venad, Kuttanad, Kudanad, Puzhinad and Karkanad. Trade flourished. The Chera Kings worshipped Kottravai, a mother Goddess and there is considerable evidence that Buddhism and Jainism were also favored in the kingdom. Sangam literature is a treasure trove that proves beyond doubt that Travancore had all the basic necessities for a refined civilization. Vedic influence was minimal during this period and women enjoyed equal rights. Though many historians claim that the Tamilians did not follow a Vedic caste system during this period, there are also sources that indicate complex societal divisions without any sign of inequality. It is quite possible that when the number of Aryans in the Dravidian land increased exponentially after the 8^th century, this was made easier by the existing Aryan population that lived symbiotically with the Dravidians during the Sangam age. It seems reasonable that the Tamil community had some kind of categorization based on occupations and with the population of Aryans reaching a critical mass in the 8^th century the interest of the ‘stronger’ became the interest of the state. So the Dravidians cannot blame the Aryans alone for this inequality.

The illustrious Chera dynasty ended in 358 AD. The Khalabhra dynasty defeated the Chera, Chola, Pandyas and ruled Tamizhagam from 4th century to 6^th century. The Khalabhra dynasty favored the Jains and possibly the Buddhists as well. The Khalabhra dynasty came to an end with the revival of Pallavas and Pandyas and the Pallavas were notorious for destroying Buddhist temples that were once favored by the Khalabras . The Ay kingdom, the vassal to the Pandyas ruled Tamizhagam till the 10^th century.

Karunandadakkan (857-885 AD) and his son Vikramaditya Vara-guna (885-925 AD) were the most prominent Kings of the Ay Kingdom. They promoted education and learning and were benevolent to their subjects. After Vara guna, the Ay dynasty merged with the Tamil Venad dynasty to form the Venad kingdom.

Ravi Varma Kulasekhara who ruled from 1299 AD to 1313 AD was an important ruler of the Venad dynasty. He was a feudatory of the Pandya ruler Maravarma Kulasekara Pandyan I and he married one of the Pandya King’s daughters. After the death of Maravarma, he staked his claims to the kingdom. Malik Kafur, the head General of the Delhi Sultan invaded south India in 1310 and Ravi Varma took advantage of the unsettled nature of the country, quickly overran the surrounding regions and brought the entire south India, under Venad. Sangramadheeran, or Kulasekhara Ravi Varma, crowned himself "Tribhuvanachakravarthi"- ruler of Chera, Chola and Pandya kingdoms at Kanchipuram.

In 1314, Kolathiri, a powerful dynasty from Northern Kerala, possibly an ally of Malik Kafur send two princesses called Attingal Rani and Kunnumel Rani to replace Venad dynasty then ruled by Vira Udaya Martanda Varma (1313 – 1333), the son of Ravi Varma (1299 – 1313). Kolathiri dynasty had its origins in the Tulu community. After the 14^th century, the Venad rulers intermarried with the Namboothiris and Nairs, adopting the custom of matrilineal descendancy.

Travancore kingdom was in a process of sanskritization during this period. It’s possible that the vedic caste system was strengthened after the Khalabhra dynasty came to an end. Many Jain and Buddhist temples were demolished to make way for Hindu temples for the Caste Hindus. Though the casteless were not allowed to worship inside the temples, many additional Gods and Goddesses were added to the religion. Malayalam, a dialect of Tamil till the 6^th century became a distinct language around the 11^th century and this also was a result of the societal and cultural dynamics.

When Marthanda Verma , the founder of the Travancore kingdom came to power in 1729 AD, Malayalam was already a refined language, the Vedic influence was at its peak, and the caste system had been established based on the Vedic Varnas and most of the Jains and Buddhists were converted to Hinduism. Marthanda Verma proved to be an intelligent administrator. He was aware of the insecurities surrounding his regime and was convinced that following the Vedic doctrines would ensure stability for his kingdom. He buried 15 new born babies from the Nadar, Ezhava and Fishermen castes in the boundaries of his Kingdom as per the advice of his astrologers. He dedicated his kingdom to his deity Padmanabhan in 1750 and from then on all the rulers of Travancore were to be called Padmanabhadasans (servants of Padmanabha).

Marthanda Verma was the first ruler to introduce census. He also restructured the tax system in favor of the caste Hindus. The tax system ensured generous income for the treasury without displeasing the higher castes. One of the castes that suffered during Marthanda Verma’s rule was the Nadars. The Nadars (they were not called Nadars then) had many sub-sects, the prosperous Nelamalaikkars were administrators, merchants and feudal Lords, the poorer sub sects, the Palmyra climbers were called Shanars. The trouble for Nadars started when Rama Varma handed over power to Marthanda Varma (as per the matrilineal system). Rama Verma’s sons Pappu Thampi and Raman Thampi resented this, resulting in a cold war in which the Nadars took the side of the Thampis. When the King found out a conspiracy to kill him, he suspected the role of the Nadar security guards and promptly ordered the Nadar community to be ostracized in the kingdom.

Robert L. Hardgrave describes the situation as follows: “Nadars must remain 36 paces from a Nambudiri-Brahmin and must come no closer than 12 feet to a Nair. As members of a degraded caste, Nadars were prohibited from carrying an umbrella and from wearing shoes or golden ornaments. Their house cannot be higher than one-storey. They were not allowed to milk cows. Nadar women were not permitted to carry pots of water on their hips as was the custom among the higher castes; nor were they permitted to cover the upper part of their bodies. They were subjected to heavy taxation and while they were not enslaved, as were the Pulayas, the Nadars were forced to perform covree labor in service to the State. There were around 110 types of taxes levied on the lower castes; the most onerous one was the head / poll tax. They were to pay a poll tax not only for the living members of the caste but also for those who were dead. They paid tax for their palmyra trees, palm leaf, jaggery, the dry leaves used as fuel, and for the hut they lived in, the hair they grew and for the breasts of women (called breast tax). “There were taxes on oil mills, bows, iron and forges, exchanges, palanquins, boats and nets, hunting and keeping civet cat etc. at the festival of Onam, Dipavali, harvest, the end of year and various anniversaries”. There was also an important tax called ‘purushantaram’, a tax of twenty five percent normally levied on all hereditary property.

The Dravidian clans that did not fit into the Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya, Sudra model were deemed casteless. The societal system in Travancore was harsh on the casteless men and women in Travancore. It was considered disrespectful for the casteless men and women to cover their upper body. Men and women were expected to wear a single piece of garment no lower than the knee, no higher than the waist. They were denied education and the exorbitant taxes didn’t afford them time to think. They were also obligated to work for the higher castes and the state free of charge. Beyond that, they had to find avenues of work to pay their taxes.

Background: Missionaries, Residents and the East India Company

18^th century is a very important time frame for the Church in Travancore. Rev. White Field compelled the European countries to take measures to spread Christianity and the Baptist Mission along with many missionary societies was established around that time. One of the important societies was the missionary society established in 1975 with an allocation of 750 pounds. This society came to be known as the London Missionary Society (LMS) in 1818. The LMS was not affiliated to specific denominations. Rev. Nathaniel Forsyton was the first missionary to be sent to India by LMS.

Rev. William Tobias Ringeltaube was sent by LMS to Travancore in 1806. There were only a few adherents of Christianity of which Maharasan Vethamanickam was the most prominent. Maharasan Vetha Manickam was from an important family who had embraced Christianity while on a pilgrimage to Chithambaram. This had created many problems for him and his entire family was ostracized in the village. Ringle Taube held the first service in Vethamanikam’s home and then set out to meet Meckalay, the Resident for Travancore.

It is important to understand the role of Residents and the power hold of the East India Company in order to allow the story to unfold. When Rama Verma was ruling Travancore, Hyder Ali and Tippu Sultan invaded Travancore. The British army supported Rama Verma and drove away the enemies. The Travancore kingdom and the East India Company entered into an agreement in 1795 and the British agreed to protect Travancore, appointing a ‘Resident’, Meckalay to administer this.

Major players: Rev Ringle Taube and Rev Mead

RingleTaube met Meckalay in Bolghatly Island, Cochin in 1806 to ask his permission to build a church in Mylady. Meckalay proposed that Ringle Taube stay back in Cochin as a Pastor instead. Ringle Taube refused the ‘easy job’ and Meckalay gave his recommendation letter to build a church in Mylady and addressed that to Diwan Velu thambi Thalavai. Veluthampi objected that a church would displace the cultural norms. A dejected Ringle Taube went to Palayamkottai and started planning out his mission in Myladi.

After fervent thought and a clear plan, Ringle Taube took the decision to preach in Myladi and started his mission activities in 1807. The theme of his sermon was Rev 7:14 ‘They have been delivered from great pain’. He examined the people who confessed their faith and baptized 40 people on 1-3-1807 after making them take a vow that they would face struggles for Christ and obey the state, King and the laws of the land.

A small hut was built in Vethamanickam’s brother’s land to function as a church and also a place of stay for Ringle Taube. Ringle Taube also bought a small land and a 10*8 feet hut for Rs 4 and named it Kaananoor. He faced many issues including attempts on his life and was forced to leave Kaanaanoor .

............. To be continued..............

Shadow of Blood (Context: Female genital mutilation)

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:01:00 +0000

Blood coils around the desert plant

Like a serpent ready for its prey

Dripping through the green leaves

It glistens with a shameless sheen

And hums a tale in whispers

The moments streaked in its ruddy grain

Darkness lunges with lust

And licks up the crimson stains

The moments slide into its belly

Deep, cold and hungry

Its crevices laced with countless tales
of butchered Innocence

The tales of pain entwine

It could be anyone and hence it was everyone

There was a little girl lying under the bushes

Waiting for her moment to come

Someone said that this would mark her ‘the woman’

For a Prince who waits in a distant land

She saw a stone glinting in the afternoon sun

And the next instant it sliced her nakedness

She bit on a root, her eyes slowly turning red

Heart beating with the familiar phrase

‘A woman’s sound should never be heard’

Another savage blow and her petals were ripped

Punctured, squashed and Stitched

Flesh and blood mired with sand

Mocking that dry desert in a wet swamp

She laid there waiting for the darkness to come

‘When the sun shines back I will be a woman’

Blood rushing through her head

Shivering like a fish on land

She laid there bidding her time

< Wikipedia: Female genital mutilation (FGM), also known as female genital cutting and female circumcision, is defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) as "all procedures that involve partial or total removal of the external female genitalia, or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons. The WHO has offered four classifications of FGM. The main three are Type I, removal of the clitoral hood, almost invariably accompanied by removal of the clitoris itself (clitoridectomy); Type II, removal of the clitoris and inner labia; and Type III (infibulation), removal of all or part of the inner and outer labia, and usually the clitoris, and the fusion of the wound, leaving a small hole for the passage of urine and menstrual blood—the fused wound is opened for intercourse and childbirth. Several miscellaneous acts are categorized as Type IV. These range from a symbolic pricking or piercing of the clitoris or labia, to cauterization of the clitoris, cutting into the vagina to widen it (gishiri cutting), and introducing corrosive substances to tighten it>

Our housekeeper is becoming a communist!

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 11:37:00 +0000

(The conversation happened in tamil)

Few months back:

She: You have gas cylinders that you don't use. Shall I take one?

Me: I don’t have a gas stove. But my mother asked me to keep this on stand by. I might buy a gas stove when she comes for a visit or if I hire a cook.

Few days back:

She: You have two Brush dusters. Shall I throw away one

Me: Both are good. I don’t want to throw that away

Last weekend, I found one duster missing

Me: Where is the other duster?

She: I threw it away. You had two.

Me: I asked you not to though I had two

She: I thought that you were not aware that you had two dusters when you told me not to throw it away

Me: But you did mention that there were two and I asked you not to throw it away

She: Is it that important?

Me: This is not really about if it's a small thing or a big thing

She: Ok, I will not throw away things without asking you. I threw it away along with some containers*

*I am racking my brain to find out what those containers are! And I doubt if the 'throwing away' place is really the trash bin.

Open letter to Chetan Bhagat on his TOI Article on women 'Don't worry be happy'

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 23:18:00 +0000

Chetan,
Insulted! - Yes, that's what I felt after reading your article 'Don't worry, Be happy' that has been lapped up with great gusto as an inspirational piece. While preaching against the 'regressive attitude' of the Indian society, you conveniently forget that you are peddling the same SHIT in shiny packets.

You say // It would be a universe full of messy, aggressive and ego-maniacal males running the world, trying to outdo each other for no particular reason. There would be body odour, socks on the floor and nothing in the fridge to eat. The entertainment industry would die. Who wants to watch movies without actresses?//

Touche. Did you actually write that to make women feel indispensable! Should I feel proud with this new found wisdom that the world might collapse without women titillating you on screen, cooking food for you or picking up after you?

As a child, I noticed most of the women in the family embracing life as handmaids to their husbands to please the society. The women were rated on how well they cleaned up their homes, how well they could cook and how selflessly they played their role as a cook, maid, nurse, teacher, nanny and attendant in addition to their work lives. Sadly they never realized that they could choose to set their own boundaries and scale the ones planted before them.

Nobody hands over freedom on a platter. A woman needs to make that choice and it's not easy. Upsetting customs always tags the woman the worst way possible –especially if this happens in a rural place. The society will form opinions, ostracize, and even start rumours because the world hates/fears that it doesn't understand.

Most families advice their children with the opening phrase 'What would people think'. You are expected to live your life to please those countless, faceless 'people' and that means doing what the majority does without questioning. The fact is, they would not mind doing something wrong if the majority does it. For instance, when the DMK government came up with the Free color TV scheme, many in my village falsified claims, signing off forms that they don't own a TVto get those TVs. If anything is OK if 'everyone' is doing it, then why depend on the hypocrites for the dos and don’ts? Why bother about culture at all?

Chetan, you compartmentalize men as aggressive and powerful, women as submissive and your solution is learning some aggression from the men. Do you think that the solution is giving it back to the Mother in law? Courage is not about being mean to people. And women don't really need to mimic the stereotyped version of men to be powerful. It's the decision to choose beyond 'what would people think' that would get a woman control over her life. A blanket rule of 'giving it back' is a wasteful energy leak. It's equal to a blanket rule of not confronting people at all - both different versions of cowardice. Also, while you are at this new Feminist Avatar, please take a course on gender neutral language. You assume that all the bosses are men // tell him that, or quit//

Your solutions: //Give it back to that mother-in-law…. if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn't value you - tell him that, or quit… It is okay if you don't make four dishes for lunch, one can fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don't work until midnight and don't get a promotion. ….. Someone will make a better scrapbook for her school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbour may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don't - big deal //

If we desire a truly egalitarian society, we need to overthrow the system of role plays- woman as the maid and man as the master. It should be OK if a woman chooses to be a home maker and it should be OK for a man to make that choice as well. If both choose to work, it shouldn’t be indispensable for the woman to do 4 jobs- maid, nanny, cook and a career woman. She deserves a shot at success in her career just as the man. And that necessitates equal sharing of responsibilities. It’s not enough to delegate the chopping veggies job to the hubby or cook one meal instead of four. The household chores are theirs to begin with-not hers alone.

Emancipation starts by asking questions. Why the ration cards still show man as the head of the family? why all forms have a section ‘son/daughter/ husband of’ ? why the surnames infer some kind of property exchange- first the father’s and then the husband’s?.... When these questions are laughed off, remember that the suffrage movement was termed 'silly' by many. But now the society deems it natural for women to have voting rights. This too shall pass if we choose. I hope we accomplish building an egalitarian society - and that depends on individual women making their choices. Chetan, you can also help by not writing stereotyped articles on women!

-Sajithra

Square pegs in round holes? -The gender equation @ work

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 04:15:00 +0000

The woman, they say, has come a long way. She is no longer a nameless consort in the harem, a witch hanged in the Middle Ages or a house wife who could not vote because the world after all is a gentleman’s game. The question is ‘Have we done enough?

Why take the 'gender' factor seriously when the world is rife with major divisions and classes of discriminations in countless ways ? I am yet to read a story of infanticide triggered by the infant’s caste, creed or religion. Gender is the quintessential factor that determines an infant’s right to live in most villages in India. It is still the determining factor while choosing an educational path and even the freedom of 'choice' itself in most families. Financial freedom could help. But that is a tricky road too. Women contribute to more than 50% of the graduates passing out of major Universities but the figures in the corporate world in terms of women leadership is nothing to be proud of.

Women in the workforce come from different backgrounds, some hammered with the 'women as a ‘helper’, not the ‘leader’' ideology and identifying with the success of other women is important for most of them. An interesting study states that 64% of women in US see the absence of women role models as a barrier and 77% of women believe that their career development faces barriers. Ironically, some women who find success have a propensity to promote men than women and many women leaders succeed because of male mentors. So this is not really about women fighting for women but rather about men and women who choose to change the rules to build an egalitarian work space. Does it bear results? Yes!

1. Women Matter

A McKinsey study of 101 companies showed that those with three or more women in senior management scored higher, on average, for each organisational criterion than companies with no women at the top.

Corporate performance increased ‘significantly’ upon attaining critical mass (at least three women on management committees with an averagemembership of ten people).

Another McKinsey study of 89 listed European companies showed that there is likely to be a correlation between the number of women inleadership and good financial performance:

11.4% return on equity compared with an average of 10.3%

EBIT operating result of 11.1% against an average of 5.8%

Stock price growth of 64% against the average of 47% over the period 2005–2007

2. Women Matter 2

A later McKinsey study, known as Women Matter 2,produced in 2008, established five leadership behaviours where women performed better than men:

Participative decision making: Building a team atmosphere in which everyone is encouraged to participate in decision making.

Role model: Being a role model, focusing on building respect and considering the ethical consequences of decisions.

Inspiration: Presenting a compelling vision of the future and inspiring optimism about its implementation.

Expectations and rewards: Defining expectations and responsibilities clearly and rewarding achievement of targets.

People development: Spending time teaching, mentoring, and listening to individual needs and concerns.

Men performed better than women in the areas 'Individualistic decision making' and 'Control and corrective action' and both men and women performed equally on 'Intellectual stimulation' and 'Efficient Communication'. We cannot say that women make better leaders than men just as we cannot say that men are better leaders. Men are good at 'being men' as women are good at 'being women'. Men and women are different with different standards. We need both so that the company could imbibe diverse standards to build a better corporate model. We need both to reinforce the collective strengths and mitigate the collective weaknesses unique to the respective genders.

You can download the Mickensay reports on women from 2007 to 2010 here

The success of the women workforce is also about the success of the company at large. If the Industry workforce is still predominantly men, women would have to play by those rules. It’s like trying to fit square pegs in round holes. How can a company succeed if the women cannot? How can the women succeed if they are not represented enough? How can they represent if they are not hired?

The butterfly effect demonstrates how small changes in the initial stage can cause major changes in the outcome, for example, the presence or absence of a butterfly flapping its wings could lead to creation or absence of a hurricane. It could be a difficult process in terms of making a conscious decision to hire more women to the team. But with every small step that we take in that direction, we will change the rules and the world as we know it will change with that too.

Freedom

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:10:00 +0000

The marshy fields stretch in front me

Inviting me with that sweet smell of earth

The evening breeze brings a lone feather

Twisting and turning in the wind

Making shapes that ought to be the new language beyond sound

My first step surprises me

The moist clay encasing me knee deep

Freedom beckons but commitments hold me back

I take in everything and close my eyes

Letting it sink in and fill me with its promises

I shut the door and return

Immersing myself in the everyday humdrum

No regrets, No remorse

The door is within me, keeping safe my ‘freedom’ behind its bars

The paradox of life is Freedom within bounds and captivity out of bounds

The struggle

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 17:10:00 +0000

Something pushes me down; the warm earth spits venom on me
A noose tightens around my neck and evil flashes its eyes
A deep gnash starts from my feet
My body cracks all over,
I fall apart
Like a song, with each fissure forming a musical note;

I drink from the muddy puddle of the unspoken
And learn to enjoy the pain,
Death bells ring all over, announcing the forbidden union
The conquered becomes the lover of the conqueror;

Blackened Blood tangles my hair into million knots

Crowning me for the awaiting eons,
The hatred is palpable
Evoking passion and an unquenching lust

A long forgotten belief breaks the crown
And I shout
I CAN CHOOSE;
My sound waves dig Silver from a faraway land
It grows with each stolen gaze I throw on its side

The lie is strong but truth is stronger,
The silver's blaze burns the noose;

Something pulls me up and I let go
A cool breeze brushes past and untangles my hair,
Fragrant oil heals my wounds;
The dirt and darkness are driven away,
I rise higher and higher
My feet wading through the rainbows

I emerge like a tree from a dirty seed
With a dance, each step getting me closer to the light.

The Samaritan, the thief and the religious man- The Good Samaritan parable with a twist

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 07:57:00 +0000

The last 10 days took me on a roller coaster ride-fun, scary, unpredictable yet thrilling. It all started with a simple plan to visit my university in Rajasthan to discuss my research progress, attend classes, take tests and make presentations in seminars there.

I took my husband along, hoping to visit a few tourist spots during the weekends. I was told at the university that if I am confident enough I could take tests even without attending classes. By God's grace, the professors were impressed with my research. I completed all my work by Wednesday and had enough time to explore.

My aunt's family lives in Delhi and they were happy that we could visit them. This was completely unplanned and we had not reserved any tickets. There was no direct train after 5 pm. The only option was to take 3 trains and travel in the general compartment to reach Delhi. I had no idea what I was setting myself up to.

Train 1

The Samaritan

The person at the ticket counter in Churu told us that we might get a direct train to Delhi if we get down at a particular station. We got in that train. The first thing that hit me was the stench- or in my husband's words the right verb is not 'hit' but 'kick'. The poor people in the interior villages were mostly illiterate without any idea about basic hygiene. The stench was a crude mix of dried sweat, urine and tobacco. I tried to reason that the poor could not afford to wash themselves with the water scarcity situation in Rajasthan. I opened my bag with stealth and pressed the deodorant to release some freshness in the air. My husband joked that I should try spraying that on everyone around.

A thin, tall guy sat in front of us, started eating some nuts/fruits and was conveniently spitting the pits in front of him. At that moment, all my reasoning left me and the only emotion I felt was 'disgust'. I suppressed my anger and started conversing with Sanju in malayalam. The tall guy was intrigued and asked us where we were from and that question sparked off a discussion. He was surprised that we were a married couple and exclaimed that wives in Rajasthan wear Bangles, Sindhoor and mangal sutra. He also had a certain element of curiosity about other cultures and asked us a deluge of questions, about how women are treated, how 'love marriages' happen, education, opportunities, art and traditions.

My contempt gave way to a new found respect. He also claimed that he was an electronics genius who could fix anything. I told him in my broken hindi that only when women are educated, a culture can come up. He expressed that women are usually not permitted to study in his village since they believe that a woman becomes part of another family after marriage.

I told him that it's not necessary that the scenario should be different for a woman, a man and woman can start a new family and yet be part of their respective families. My husband said that many women choose to retain their names (like me ;-)) and the change they experience after marriage could be just what the man experiences after marriage. He was intrigued and shared tales of male domination and mentioned that he understands why women should also be financially independent. He was still spitting the pits in front of us but for some reason it ceased bothering me.

When we were about to leave he told my husband 'We created a friendship of 200 years in 4 hours'. We didn't expect that emotional outburst and were deeply touched. He even offered to stand in the line for us and also see us off. We refused politely but left the train station with an admiration for his curiosity and innocence.

Train 2

The thief

More travel and even more stench. A big family was seated in our compartment and they reeked. At one point, the lady even stood up and held on to the upper berth for support when we were helplessly positioned under her arm pits. I sat closer to my husband to get a whiff of his deodorant. A dirty child curled up near Sanju and that wasn't pleasant. We did feel guilty about getting disgusted at a small child. But at that moment, senses won over values and principles.

After a while that felt like eons, the family left and I tried to get some sleep. I put my head on my husbands lap and dozed off. Suddenly I got up with a jolt only to find two 'new' burly men sitting in the seat in front of us. One man's hand was too close to my bag. I gave him a frown, got up and sat straight. There was another person fast asleep, sprawled across the seat in front of us. I saw this man's fingers poking that person's pocket as if he was just swaying to the train's movements. We were watching that hand, thinking of confronting him if ever his hand got inside the pocket. The other hand was covered under the folds of his shawl. In another 30 seconds he left and we immediately woke up the person sleeping there to make sure that nothing was lost.

Apparently, the thief had used his other hand to flick a mobile and some money while using the weird poking actions as red herrings. The person who lost the mobile was with a few friends and they all set off to different compartments in search of the thief. The thief and his accomplice got caught and like a scene straight out of a masala Indian flick, some army people traveling in another compartment joined these guys to beat up the thief and the accomplice to pulp. The person who ~~lost~~ got back his mobile waited with us in the next train station and bought us tea and biscuits. We bought him a sweet pack. That felt like Christmas.

Train 3

This was the worst experience. The train was overcrowded and we didn't even get enough space to stand straight. Finally we reached Delhi after the long, adventurous travel.

The Religious man

We paid the fare in a prepaid auto stand to get to my aunt's house. The auto driver was chanting a prayer throughout and would stop only if he needed to speak with anyone. He performed some rituals before starting the auto. He stopped his chanting to tell us very rudely that he would leave us on the street since he had no idea about the house number. On the way, he stopped his chanting to use 'curse words' at another vehicle's driver and after the verbal diarrhea promptly resumed chanting. And then he stopped his chanting mid way only to spit on the street. I was amused and started laughing. Some how, the auto driver had a change of heart and left us at the door step. I gave him 10 Rs extra (for the entertainment) and he performed some ritual on that 10 rs note too.

The next few days spent in my aunt's home was heavenly! It was like staying in my own home in my home town. After getting pampered there, we made a brief visit to Jaipur since our flight was from there (this time we were able to reserve a ticket ;-)) and then got back to the 'real world' and 'real job' on Sunday.

Will the FCC approval on TV white space fast-track rural development in India ?

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 03:24:00 +0000

The FCC ruling brings another avenue of growth for the communications industry that is bogged down by Mobile data explosion. Infoworld says that the 'Mobile data traffic is expected to increase by a factor of 12 by 2014 - to a mind-numbing 9.7 exabytes, or 9.7 million terabytes -- from what it was in 2008'. Freeing up of TV white spaces not only means reaching out to remote places, it also paves way to a plethora of new wireless devices.

I was thinking on terms of what it means to India and the emerging markets. The rural India has adopted BPO with a bang. This meant women empowerment and growth for the poor strata. The caveat has been the lack of network coverage in remote areas. You might remember discussions around India’s Rs. 1500 laptops. But rural adoption necessities coverage and also cost-effective technologies that scale up and go beyond the limitations of wi-fi. That was like the missing piece of the puzzle. This ruling can be leveraged to bring in that missing piece!

Do we have a share in this exciting space? The answer is a resounding yes! Bell labs, India has built a prototype box already. This has also received very positive reviews in multiple conferences and events. It could only be a matter of time for such initiatives to reach fruition.

TV White space protoype box by Bell labs, India

Bell labs, India researchers working on this say that the issues surrounding this new technology like fragmented spectrum can be dealt with. They find this as the start of a new revolution.

The FCC ruling could mean a lot to the emerging markets in terms of technology adoption and empowerment. But the need of the hour is fleshing out this into mass products fast so that we could leverage opportunities and in the process change India. This is a great opportunity for emerging markets that we cannot afford to let go.

Kite in the rain

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Sat, 08 May 2010 17:51:00 +0000

My kite flies far, tossed and turned by wind
Each second stamping on it a worn impression of existence
The walls scrape my kite and I let go more
Go! Fly higher and higher even if it means I lose you

It’s the magic of the moment and I run,
Guided by the wind and not by my whims
I drift swiftly through the blotches of wind
I am not in control any more and it strangely feels good

It rains suddenly and the senses yawp to get inside
Yet my heart is one with the moment and I stay
The drenched Kite gets heavier and I cannot hold on any more
It disappears leaving behind a trail of soft twine

Someone will find a piece of crumbled paper tomorrow
An insignificant bit left to be burnt or buried
Life feels the same like a kite in the rain
What matters is if I let my destiny guide it before the rains

Stillness

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:14:00 +0000

The tentacles of stillness wrap me tight
It grows around me like a cocoon
My heart beats faster with painful efforts to look out
Promises to be kept, deadlines to scale and agendas galore calling out to me.

I slid my hand around those walls
And learned to enjoy the sweet taste of stillness
Oh why do I even think that I make things happen?
When I can’t even take my next breath if chance had a different plan
Everything blurs out to oblivion
And I try to mend myself in the warmth of stillness.

Like a caterpillar we scurry around
With thoughts on walls scaled and obstacles crossed
But it is this moment of waiting and knowing
That brings out the colors
It is this moment of stillness and humility
That brings out the wings.

Caught the whisper

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 09:18:00 +0000

Somewhere far away a whisper originates
I drown it in the sound of TV,
the traffic and the everyday humdrum;

I remind myself that I will pay attention someday
But that ‘someday’ never came;
In a moment of complete solitudeI caught the whisper and it was mine;
It was a message from a forgotten version of myself
that still remembered the reason for my existance.

I am a collection of memories
I am a reminder of my past
I am the infant kept safe in the womb, the child, the teen and the woman I am today.
And before I was born, I was a design, a purpose, pure unsurpassing love
In the Creator’s heart
The spirit is all knowing and remembers who I am
But can remind me only when I choose to listen;

I hold it’s elapsed reminders
Locked in a box, tucked away into obscurity;
But it whispers, it hums and tries to remind me
Of who I am and who I should be.
It reminds me that my vision in life should be beyond my life time
It is not in the short term targets of wealth or power
It is really not about me alone.

Listen to the whisper within
It will tell you your purpose of life
And if that goes beyond yourself and your own life time
You will know you have caught that whisper.

Child abuse in TV actor's home

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:47:00 +0000

I was appalled to watch the news item about the ruthless assault on a child by TV actor Urvashi. It is repulsing and painful to see the feudal mentality of some. Why would people treat others with bucket loads of hatred.

The underprivileged is not different from us except that chance left some on the streets and left us inside posh malls. This is nothing to be proud of. This is just a piece of reality in life that we all are part of and this is to be accepted with humility. This too shall pass. Ever heard of someone who lived hundreds of years holding on to wealth, health and power. The sounds of opulence and sighs of the grief stricken poor all merge together in the scheme of life.

We are a society build on debt. Many of the elite educated class’s networth runs in negative millions because of credit card burden and loans. In that sense the maid could easily be the wealthier one. Many who are blessed with money also presume that entitlement comes with the package. In essence we are caged inside our own aspirations and delusions of grandeur and that is a fertile ground for comparisons. In a competitive world of aspiring to live the life of somebody else, we delude ourselves into thinking that somebody is below us. The maids and attendants are easy targets to fuel this dementia.

I love the dialogue in matrix “What is real? How do you define “real”? If you’re talking about your senses—what you feel, taste, smell, or see—then all you’re talking about are electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” Sometimes when I see someone, branded ‘mad’ by the public having personal conversations to self, I smile and try to imagine what this person would be experiencing. If life is all about perceived memories, senses and experiences how are we so different from such people. It’s funny when we take ourselves too seriously.

We cannot do anything for that child abused by Urvashi. Smile at that beggar on the streets, tell your maid how much you appreciate him/her, remember to thank the attendants who clear your coffee cup. Any time is a good time to show some kindness.

Job 5:8-16 "But if it were I, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. He bestows rain on the earth; he sends water upon the countryside. The lowly he sets on high, and those who mourn are lifted to safety. He thwarts the plans of the crafty, so that their hands achieve no success. He catches the wise in their craftiness, and the schemes of the wily are swept away. Darkness comes upon them in the daytime; at noon they grope as in the night. He saves the needy from the sword in their mouth; he saves them from the clutches of the powerful. So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts its mouth."

James 2:5 “Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?”

ABCs of ‘ME’

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 10:49:00 +0000

I’m taking this tag up from Sugi. Here are the rules.

Link the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Share the ABCs of you.
Tag 3 people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
Let the 3 tagged people know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag!
Ok then here are the abc’s…

A – Available?
Busy
Note: If my status is busy, it means that only friends can reach me.

B – Best friend?
Sugi. She is the only person other than Sanju who I relate with on an emotional level :-). I have had stupid fights with Sugi and it took me some time to realise that my sub conscious mind had been playing pranks whenever I felt possessive or entitled. The only regret I have is, she couldn't be my Matron of honor as she was very pregnant, that being her delivery week. At some level she is like a younger sis and I have always felt proud whenever people say that we look so alike. We wonder why people see us that way as we have completely different features. Life took us through different paths but somehow the fact that we are living in different countries doesn't bother me at all. I feel a special connection with her and I know that it will always remain the same. Oh She is also the only person I don't mind knowing my weakness. I can be myself with her, faults and all. I am proud to have this gorgeous gal as my best friend.

C – Cake or Pie?

I am trying to make peace with my diet plan now. The last thing I want is to be reminded about this.

D – Drink of choice?

Iced tea.

E – Essential item you use every day?

Water

F – Favorite color?

My favourite colour depends on my mood. Today it is Black. I find black mysterious and sexy.

G – Gummy Bears Or Worms?

Gummy bears

H – Hometown?

Kotticode

I – Indulgence?

Movies at PVR with a jumbo popcorn.

J – January or February?

January. It's great to welcome a new year. I am always game for new beginnings.

K – Kids & their names?

I have picked a name for the first born though I don't have a kid yet. We even talk about her/him using that name. Weird couple, yeah I know.

L – Life is incomplete without?

Connection with the Creator. Life is so much fun when you can hold on to God always.

M – Marriage date?

May 16th. The beginning of one of God's purposes for my existence. I sensed the angels coming down that day! May 16th 2008 is the most beautiful day in my life.

N – Number of siblings?

0

O – Oranges or Apples?

Apples. I used to love oranges. After marriage my taste buds changed.

P – Phobias/Fears?

None.

Q – Quote for today?
"But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” JESUS CHRIST(Mt. 6:33).

R – Reason to smile?

God's mighty hand in my life guiding me. He has blessed me with love and laughter.

S – Season?

Winter. It used to be summer when I was in School, thanks to the looong holidays to just laze around.

T – Tag three people?
Resmi Varghese, Anthony Mathania, Nithya Krishnakumar

U – Unknown fact about me?
Nothing that I can think of :-)

V – Vegetable you don’t like?
Cabbage

W – Worst habit
Taking things too easy.

X – X-rays you’ve had?
Nil

Y – Your favorite food?
Fish curry

Z – Zodiac sign?

Doesn't mean anything to me.

Michael Jackson-Can there be another?

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 07:06:00 +0000

“Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities” Albert Einstein

This fits well with MJ’s life- a life marked by extraordinary highs and lows. The world has still not got over Michael Jackson’s death. Surprisingly, the usual ridicule has given way to awe. May his soul rest in peace.

I have always been a big fan of him. His plastic surgeries made him look like a ghost. His interviews sounded like he was spaced out. He walked in a different world that we couldn’t touch. I realized that MJ’s power was in breaking away from the limitations of the world and not in fitting in.

To me MJ was more of a spirit than a human. He was a spirit that was uncomfortable in this world, uncomfortable about the rules and norms and the limitations. He dared to create his own world and he scaled new heights by doing so.

People who know him cannot stop talking about his humility. He made his fans feel as if he was their fan than the other way around. He always yearned for perfection and he knew that the world was no place for that. He spoke of healing and actually did that in his own way.

MJ was a little child trapped in an adult’s body. As a child he was forced to become an adult and when he grew up he regressed back. He held on to the innocence and sweetness and was untainted by the norms. The wisdom of a child is much more than any adult, they say. That was true with Michael and that gave him the immense power to shake the world. He left a great legacy behind, the legacy of a man who never failed to dream, who retained the purity and innocence of a child and yet wielded invincible power that millions can only imagine. And throughout his highs and lows he remained humble and sweet.

Ridiculers do not understand that this man could not be normal with the kind of creativity and power that he was blessed with. Normalcy would not have created MJ-the legend. That’s a good price to pay, given what MJ achieved within his limited time.

I loved the memorial and was touched by how lovely his kids have turned out. Biological or not, they love him and he has brought them up really well. He lived a life that we cannot relate to. But we can never deny the fact that he gave back much more than what the world gave him. He was and will always remain the ‘King of pop’.

The only downer was the song "We have come to see the king' used for MJ. But I was relieved that Pastor Lucius Smith put things in perspective in his closing prayer by saying "The King of Pop must bend his knee to the King of Kings"

“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”
—Michael Jackson

Back after a vacation in Paris

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:01:00 +0000

I am feeling very grateful to God! God's presence was with us every step of our way throughout this amazing vacation. I scaled the Eiffel, yeah I know in a lift... I saw the Monalisa painting and other priceless art forms in Louvre, relaxed in parks without any agenda, ate sumptuous crepes and desserts, wandered aimlessly in the streets of beautiful Paris, took a romantic cruise through River Sienna with hubby, visited Notre Dame, enjoyed jazz concerts near the Grand arche... I felt God’s mighty hand leading us and enjoyed his grace. I am so overwhelmed with joy right now.

Random Questions to myself

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 09:01:00 +0000

Sugi posted this on her blog and this is too cool to pass. So I took that up…

Yeah I know, I am so lazy in coming up with a new post :-p

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I love the new hair cut. That gal did an amazing job.

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
Rs 10 and sodexo passes worth 1500+

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Core, four, score, shore, more, wore

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Left my mob at home (AGAIN!)

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Vibration mode. (Now my phone is broke and is perpetually on silent mode)

6. What are you wearing right now?
Yellow shirt, Dark trousers and a black waist coat

7. Do you label yourself?
Yes. I do that a lot. And some labels stick longer!

8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own?
Bata. That is my first brand and we have come full circle. Is that lame?

9. Bright or Dark Room?
Warm glow

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
She is gorgeous. Inside and out!

11. What does your watch look like?
Chunky Steel

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Was watching TV with my hubby, simultaneously playing around the internet

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
The last text that I read was a marketing SPAM message from this retail store ‘STAR’.

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Great

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
A sweet person said “I love you forever” in a telecon.

16. Last furry thing you touched?
My mink blanket

17. Favorite age you have been so far?
17

18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“Bye” to a colleague

19. The last song you listened to?
I was listening to Amy Grant’s songs yesterday. Am not able to figure out the exact song.

20. Where did you live in 1987?
Kotticode, KK District, Tamilnadu

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
No but I can get possessive at times.

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
I can’t read hearts!

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
My engagement ring, the first ring that sanju gifted, my debit/credit cards

24. What’s your favorite town/city?
Bangalore.

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Can’t remember

26. Can you change the oil on a car?
No

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
Not keeping tabs

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
No

29. What is your current desktop picture?
Sanju’s pic

30. Have you been burnt by love?
Yes
" For our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29

Things about your spouse that you are thankful of

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Thu, 28 May 2009 12:37:00 +0000

My best friend Sugi had a post up in her blog about things she is thankful about her spouse. :-) I thought that it would be fun to try So here's my list....

Baby, I am so grateful for having you in my life because...

1. You love the Lord and we pray together everyday
2. You are slow to anger, gentle, patient and kind. You forget and forgive easily
3. You cried when you had a bad dream of me leaving you (before marriage). You sent the resignation letter to the watchtower society and told me that you will leave the whole world to get me.
4. When we watched ‘Passion of Christ’ you closed my eyes when you saw a horror scene coming up.
5.You are romantic.
6. You have a great sense of humor. You make me laugh always! And you are probably the only person who finds me funny.
7. You are never insecure
8. You always say that I look beautiful no matter how grungy I actually look that day!
9. You are intelligent. But you never blow your own trumpet
10. You don’t gossip or make fun of people behind their back.
11. People trust you because you keep your word
12. You are very meticulous and organized
13. You are not shy to ask for my advice.
14. You enjoy cooking
15. You always let me handle the remote control
16. You are proud of me
17. If you are not at office you are with me. You don’t have any vices.
18. You are not a MCP. You never asked me to take your name though it's your family norm.
19. You stood up to your parents for me
20. You can light up a room with your smile. You are always happy
21. You are not a rebel yet you don’t let the stereotypes get you
22. You don’t mind me taking the lead in family prayer.
23. We both have a skin growth in exactly the same spot.
24. You love making surprise dinners for me
25. You have sung for me outside my door (before marriage)
26. You believe that I have tremendous potential to make it big in life.
27. More often than not, when I go against your advice I fail. But you never say “I told you so”

Pride-Is the culprit over confidence?

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Mon, 18 May 2009 09:58:00 +0000

Have you faced people who suck the energy out of you with long winding tales about themselves? Have you wondered at times how a person can have so much pride?

I don’t subscribe to the theory that overconfidence is the culprit for this “I am THE ultimate gift to the world” attitude. It is an inadequate sense of self esteem that actually sows the seeds of pride. A healthy self esteem respects others notwithstanding differing ideologies. There are times I have caught myself talking about some one else and then realize that the root cause was actually a kind of doubt on myself. When you work on having a healthy self esteem you stop all comparisons and understand that right and wrong is all about standards. And this standard differs person to person.

An ingrained feeling of inadequacy is defended by a false pride. This is not a natural emotion and hence gets across viciously through a swish of negative energy. This is also characterized by a closed, defensive (territorial hostility) behavior. I read somewhere that a low self-esteem makes people involve in backstabbing, malicious gossip and high handed criticism.

When someone talks about someone else, listen really hard. You are about to know a lot more about the speaker than the other person. I don’t think that Amartya Sen goes around talking about people who are not ‘intelligent’ enough. Nor will Angelina Jolie talk about how ugly somebody else looks. If a person spends a lot of time undermining another person or resort to malicious gossip you can easily make out that false pride is in action there.

False pride works like this “Nobody is OK. But Iam going to make you think that I am OK”. If you know anybody who projects such false pride, treat them with kindness. Trying to correct them by giving facts will not work. Spending time trying to reason with this person will leave you with a head ache. Try to understand what triggers this false pride and be supportive. If the toxic dump steals your day, keep away from them though. It’s a balance that you need to choose. If you criticize others often, ask yourself “Am I really trying to make this person better. Or am I in denial of some issues and just want to feel better by painting this person black?” Remember motivating is about making people do what they want to do. Manipulating is about making people do what you want to do. Constructive criticism to make some one better is Motivating. High handed criticizm to feel better needs some soul searching to purge false pride.

Darlene- Here I am to worship

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:53:00 +0000

Heart of worship

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Sun, 17 May 2009 15:01:00 +0000

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring,something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what you have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you, It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you, It's all about you, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what you have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you, It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you, It's all about you, Jesus

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you, It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you, It's all about you, Jesus.
It's all about you, It's all about youIt's all about you, It's all about you
It's all about you, It's all about youIt's all about you, It's all about you
I'm coming back to the heart of worshipAnd it's all about you, It's all about you, Jesus

I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you, It's all about you, Jesus.

The ultimate goal-Passion or dispassion?

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 13:51:00 +0000

We all tread on the path towards self realization though the answers are not definite. We want to connect with ourselves and the universe at large but stumble on big questions. Is it passion or dispassion that brings the best out of me? Isn’t passion a mark of attachment? Isn’t freedom from all bondages the ultimate goal?

To me passion is not attachment. Attachment is obsessed with the past or the future but Passion is linked to the moment. Attachment is that chronic yearning whereas Passion is pure acceptance. Attachment is desire that triggers the fear of losing, but Passion has no fear. Passion is pouring one’s self for something worthy.

To be dispassionate is disrespecting the gift of life. How can I walk through life without a sense of wonder! I read somewhere that to be passionate you don’t need to be attached. You need to be engaged. I don’t need to be attached to my passions in bondage. But I owe it to life to be engaged. My ultimate goal is to be aware of the everyday miracles of life. I want to be moved when the wind blows. I want to celebrate the fresh smell of grass after the rain. I want to be passionate about life itself!

“Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.”- Hebbel

Choice of Love

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 06:02:00 +0000

Choices craft our lives. AR Rahman famously said “In my life, I always had a choice between love and hate and I chose love. That is my philosophy in life and in music”. I was pondering on how profound the statement is. It is said that the simplest truths are the most powerful. And some moments draw us to the simple truths that are inherent within us. Listening to this was one of those moments. I realized he was talking about the choice of Love. He was talking about Love in motion.

The greatest revolutionary of all times Che Guevera said `At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love. It is impossible to think of a genuine revolutionary lacking this quality.’

What is the love that they are talking about? Is it that feeling trickling within, that tingles the nerves and fogs the senses? No they are talking about Love in motion, the kind of love that breaks barriers and paves new paths. Love in motion is about that singular choice to love. Love in motion is clothing yourself with Love. You don't fall in front of the wardrobe and get up completely dressed up! You need to choose the dress and put it on yourself! Love in motion is that choice and you are the one in control. The Visionaries and Thought Leaders who shaped the world made this Love in motion their forte. They were pushed to do great things by this guiding force.

It’s heartbreaking to hear stories of people citing that they fall out of love. You don’t fall out of love. You choose to fall out! Love in motion is making a choice to please your spouse with warmth. Love in motion is choosing to make somebody’s day by being thoughtful. Love in motion is choosing your words carefully lest it hurts others. When we make that choice, we create a personal circle of joy that grows exponentially. And by making this choice, we change the world because when it comes to love no act is insignificant !

Left or Right or Somewhere in between!

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 10:32:00 +0000

I was surprised to read this quote of Karl Marx.
“Owners of capital will stimulate the working class to buy more and more of expensive goods, houses and technology, pushing them to take more and more expensive credits, until their debt becomes unbearable. The unpaid debt will lead to bankruptcy of banks, which will have to be nationalized, and the State will have to take the road which will eventually lead to communism” Karl Marx, Das Kapital

Eerily Only the last part “the State will have to take the road which will eventually lead to communism” is left unfulfilled. Will it happen? If so is it good?
Communism without corruption rests only in theory just as an unfettered capitalism does.

The simplest truths are the most powerful. It’s poise and balance that protects our universe. It’s that space between yes and no that gives hope. It’s not communism or extremist religion masquerading as politics or outright capitalism that would save the economy. It’s when we take responsibility for our money and live with poise. First came the thesis that Capitalism would save the world. Then Karl Marx came up with the atithesis that communism would do that job. It’s time to synthesis this two and be accountable and responsible.

An ordinary tax paying citizen who neither hoards money nor lives off credit cards is the best person to save the economy. If this recession and uncertainty is a much needed lesson then let’s take it on our stride. This too shall pass!

DOCTRINE

noreply@blogger.com (Sajithra) — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 12:06:00 +0000

Doctrine is one term used and abused in Christendom. Do you need a doctrine to connect with Christ? The plot thickens................which doctrine is 'the one'. Is it the catholic doctrine, the pentecostal doctrine, the CSI doctrine, the Calvinist, the Lutheran, the Baptist or the friendly neighborhood pastor's home made one?

People are scurrying off paranoid about beliefs with all those assorted goodies and with each claiming that the other is Satan in flesh itself.

The scriptures provide both cultural and trans-cultural elements in it's laws. The cultural elements could be redemptive to those times, but taken out of context and applied now would kill the spirit of the law. For example, some of the guidelines on how slaves should be treated were actually redemptive, considering how slaves were treated in the ancient world. But in no way points at God's ultimate ethic.

There is the 'dance for the Lord' doctrine and there is also the 'believers should not dance' doctrine ('Dance for the Lord' extremists who dance inside the church think that the non dancers are boring and stuck up. The 'Believers should not dance' extremists wrinkle their noses that the dancers are a pack of less-spiritual worldly demon-inspired people)
There is the tongues doctrine and there is also the no tongues doctrine
There is the equality doctrine and there is also the partiality doctrine (creed, gender etc etc)
There is the 'women can wear jewellery' doctrine and the 'women should not wear jewellery' doctrine

Do we need a doctrine? Yes. Doctrine is nothing but (Latin: doctrina) a codification of beliefs or "a body of teachings" or "instructions" (Thanks wiki) Everyone needs some discipline to live a good life. It's always nice to have a map in an alien land.

How do you know this doctrine is the one?
The great commandment is actually more than enough. When we truly love we cannot lie, cheat or do anything that could hurt someone else.

1) LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH...YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. The Great Commandment: Matthew 22:37-40, Mark 12:28-31.

Many doctrines of today are based on condemnation. 'If I do this, the neighbor who doesn't is condemned' Who are we kidding!

Clinging on to some laws that the men created to bring order or specific laws/rules given to specific individuals by God in specific situations can damage life in the spirit. Sometimes control is more personal in nature. I don't stock chocolate at my home because I tend to eat everything the very first day. I cannot tell everyone that stocking chocolates at home is outright wrong.

If someone talks ill about someone else, listen intently and listen really hard, you are about to know more about the speaker, not the other person. Same rule applies for systems. When a view point is presented ask yourself 'Is this teaching based on love?' Is he/she motivated more by an intent to prove someone wrong or is it a honest anger at something wrong. Listen to that inner voice and decide for yourself. You want to dance for the Lord? Good for you. You want to stay quiet in his presence? Good for you too. You speak in tongues? good for you, you would rather speak in your language? Good for you too.

The last thing a follower of Christ needs is to be reduced to a pharisee! A pharisee with a stiff lip and 'holier than others' attitude.