diamond geezer

A guided tour round the Greater London boundary

2026-10-09T07:00:00.000+01:00

A guided tour of the Greater London boundary (clockwise)

Hillingdon

Welcome to Heathrow but the side most passengers never see, the cargo-loading logistics backside. Past massive secure sheds trading whatever, first on the local Bedfont Road then switching to the more circuitous Southern Perimeter Road. Two rivers run parallel for a mile and a half, the Longford and the Duke of Northumberland's, each shamelessly shifted out of the way by airport construction. Walk along or walk between, perhaps pausing for refreshment at The Rising Sun or Esso garage, as global jet engines scream alongside.

These roads aren't made for pedestrians - if not aiming for Spout Lane why would you even be here? The Poyle Interchange includes the westernmost point in Greater London, then it's time to follow the M25's clockwise carriageway as far as the M4 stack interchange. The Bigley Ditch threads through in tiny meanders, first the river's former course and then the unengineered original, at least until a Third Runway erases the lot. Maysfield Lake, Thorney Mill, Fray's Island. Across the Slough Arm of the Grand Union and around a GB-shaped lake called Little Britain. Never the main River Colne, always a separate braid, here along the industrial backway into Uxbridge.

A brief buzz beside The Swan & Bottle, a stone's throw from the High Street, then off down the appropriately-named Shire Ditch. On crossing the A40 it's time to leave suburbia behind, it's now all meadows, former gravel pits and floodables. Here are Denham Country Park, vast lakes and, swinging in from the right, the sleek viaduct of future HS2. So few ways in or out unless you're waterfowl, until footbridges at Black Jack's Mill finally offer a hill to climb to Harefield. Canoe slalom by The Coy Carp at Coppermill, also office space to hire, also finally a snatch of canal towpath. At the sewage works bear off round Springwell Lake to get ridiculously close to Rickmansworth, then at Mill End cut back across heron-infested Stocker's Lake.

Here ends twelve miles spent tracking waterways, the Colne having provided an ideal western boundary for the capital. Now once again it's woods and paddocks, fields and farms, regaining vehicular connectivity at Woodcock Hill. Around Bishop's Wood and right up close to Mount Vernon Hospital, although mainly the car parks. From Batchworth Heath an ancient footpath has somehow been preserved amid Metro-land avenues, weaving two miles east between trees, school playgrounds and endless wooden fences. Initially Northwood then more rightly Northwood Hills, rising to 134m at the summit of Potter Street Hill.

Harrow

Coal tax post, private road to Pinner Hill golf course, "you are being recorded by security cameras". To one side is the first hole (a par 5) and to the other the southernmost wedge of beechy Oxhey Woods. The London Loop is now up to section 14, slipping through a wooden gate to dodge South Oxhey's patriotic council estate in favour of stud farm and livery.

Pylons emerge from Hatch End substation in three directions, one across the West Coast Mainline towards Oxhey Lane. Three holes at the Grims Dyke golf club have a tee in Middlesex and a hole in London, while three others swing vice versa. Then yet another golf course at Hartsbourne, no splits this time, before careering into the top of the common at Bushey Heath. The top of Stanmore Hill, also the very last London postcode alphabetically speaking which is WD23 1NX. The top of Stanmore Common, first the woody bit then open heathland that can be an excellent viewpoint. Listen to the roar of the M1 motorway, here running parallel to the A41, past Centennial Park to J4 at Elstree.

Barnet

A mile spent just off the M1's hard shoulder, at least as far as Scratchwood woods if not Scratchwood services. A nudge towards Borehamwood, splitting a static caravan park diagonally in half. Big Morrisons. At Stirling Corner an unexpected bend north up the A1 to encompass Rowley Green and Arkley, borderline attractions including a driving range, Poor Clare Monastery and an ice cream farm. Keeping a decent distance from Chipping Barnet, merely a bump past Byng Road Fields and yet more golf courses, these the 14th and 15th on the perimeter so far. Barroneau's has become the dog meadow at Wrotham Park. At Hadley Highstone, somewhere in the valley of the Monken Mead Brook, is the site of the Battle of Barnet.

Enfield

Welcome to Hadley Wood, though skirting the playing field to climb to the cottages on Waggon Road. Sheer woodland drop above the East Coast Mainline burrowing beneath through 200 yards of tunnel. A return to proper open countryside along an arable footpath crossing Slopers Pond Farm. Next come Stagg Hill and The Ridgeway, both converging on the Potters Bar Interchange. And then, extremely simply, it's seven miles along the hard shoulder of the M25 motorway. A few woods, mostly fields, some of which are destined to become Crews Hill new town. The northernmost point in Greater London. Plantations, cemeteries, the age-old aqueduct of the New River.

A world class £700m film/TV studio campus across Theobald's Park Farm, except construction was officially scrapped last year. News International's enormous printworks, home to 19 triple-width Manroland full colour presses. The Holmesdale Tunnel with a lacklustre linear park on top, ending at the southern end of Waltham Cross High Street. Huge distribution centres, one for Tesco, one for Sainsbury's. And at the River Lea finally a watery turnoff, this following the Relief Channel rather than the Navigation. Gunpowder Park, Sewardstone Marsh, Patty Pool Mead. Here comes the largest reservoir in London, named after King George V because they finished it in 1913, which contains almost 7 billion kettlesworth.

Waltham Forest

A terrace called The Borders, outlier of the E4 postcode district. Gilwell Close, and indeed it is. A footpath climbing to the top of Yardley Hill, also the 379's circular Hail & Ride. Woods, mud, golf course, woods. A small bite out of Epping Forest, not including Chingford Plain. Primrose Woodmouse and, around Connaught Water, Mrs Crustybread. From the Cuckoo Brook to the River Ching, but at Whitehall Plain enough of that.

Redbridge

It's time to slice through Woodford Wells, unless these streets are actually Buckhurst Hill. An ancient trackway straight across Knighton Wood And Lords Bushes, the latter on the left. The junction where the Central line splits, then the anti-clockwise platform at Roding Valley where the shops aren't. All the way to the far end of the rugby ground before joining the River Roding and wiggling south from the manky footbridge. A near straight line across the M11 into one of the other Woodfords, the one with the Guide Dog Training Centre. Repton Park, the luxurious ex-psychiatric hospital with the viral swimming pool. The top of Tomswood Hill boasts a long distance panorama, then a sharp divide between smart detached piles and council streets. The periphery of the Limes Farm Estate, which Chigwell Urban District would have preferred not to build.

Cut-throughs to the tube, beyond which is the outer edge of Hainault's massive depot. Grange Hill station but this time the clockwise platform. A much modified boundary to accommodate all of Hainault's extensive postwar estate and none of the nice Essex lanes. There are still 25 miles to go but, astonishingly, Latchford Place is the last residential street. Instead a long bridleway pierces deep into Hainault Forest Country Park via the heavily wooded higher ground, to just beyond the summit of Cabin Hill.

Havering

The final borough, but it's a long one. First the 11th, 12th and 13th fairways at Hainault Forest Golf Club, then muddy fields north of Havering-atte-Bower. The fledgling River Rom is followed by Straights Plantation (which isn't quite). The lodge to Pyrgo Palace, then broad inaccessible fields to one of London's least-visited corners, the outskirts of Noak Hill. The boundary was once a complex weave along the Weald Brook but since the construction of the M25 simply follows the motorway for five miles, with just a brief indentation at J28 for Brentwood. Putwell Bridge, Gardens of Peace, Nags Head Lane Sewage Works. Footbridges on the alignment of former footpaths, built at great expense for hardly anyone. Round the outside of J29 for Cranham, then at the Southend Railway a perverse burst outside the M25 for the first and last time. Fields that could be mega data centres because Havering could hide them here and nobody would notice, indeed Thurrock have already squeezed in several solar farms.

The easternmost point in Greater London in a far-flung field just off Fen Lane. Back across the M25 in North Ockendon at Dennises Lane. Next the most contorted wiggle of all, first to take in just half of Belhus Wood Country Park as far as Running Water Brook, then back to Damyns Hall, then back on a quadruple twist through Cely Woods, and if people actually lived here they'd think it proper weird. The final golf course is Ingrebourne Links, the final park is Kennington, the final landfill is Aveley and the final car boot sale is Willow Farm. Nothing round here is contoured, or indeed lovely. Multiple articulated lorries park offroad by the A13 Wennington interchange. Purfleet Industrial Park, then High Speed 1, then the line to Tilbury. One last thrust across Rainham Marshes, dodging the RSPB reserve to reach the Thames riverside at Aveley Bay which may be London's only beach.

An invisible line out to the centre of the estuary opposite Crayford Ness, but that's where we kicked off which means this 160 mile guided tour of the greater London boundary is complete.

A guided tour of the Greater London boundary

2026-10-08T07:00:00.000+01:00

A guided tour of the Greater London boundary (clockwise)

Bexley

From mid-Thames at Crayford Ness, skirt the Darent Industrial Park and head up Dartford Creek beneath the guillotine of the mighty flood barrier. One side Crayford Marshes, one side Dartford Marshes. Fork up the Cray rather than the Darent, then switch to the minor Stanham River. The first road crossed is the A206, the first two railway lines head to Dartford. Maiden Lane is the first suburban street (one side London one side Kent), while cars entering Gable Close are surveilled by the first ULEZ camera. Cross Watling Street to follow the backs of semi-detached gardens, not for the last time, then squeeze out through the lights on Station Road. Obviously Dartford council hides its tip here. Span the A2, old and new, then skirt the edge of Dartford Heath to the joys of Joydens Wood. A church, some deneholes and a two mile invisible zigzag through ancient woodland dodging the Fæsten Dic. Silence. Horses. Golf.

Bromley

A mile of Swanley Bypass, half a mile of Chatham Main Line, three miles of open fields. The start of the "how on earth is this actually London?" stretch, and more importantly "why?". A line drawn to keep Crockenhill outside and Crown Wood inside. Skeet Hill Lane, a lot of arable, then the divide between the hamlets of Maypole and Well Hill. Mostly paddocks all the way to J4 of the M25, the spur to Hewitts Roundabout. Knockholt station is not in Knockholt, also London Road ends at the border.

A pavement alongside the A21, then the recently-blogged cul-de-sac of Turnpike Drive in Pratt's Bottom. Horses Field is swiftly followed by Birthday Woods. Here comes the remotest section of the Greater London boundary, so distant from infrastructure that when I tried to visit every grid square in London I came here last. Coppices and stiles. New Years Lane and New Years Wood, between them a cottage with a trigger-happy barking dog. Field boundaries stalked by pylons and not by footpaths. Cudham Lane South where the R5 and R10 buses rarely stop to serve outliers who'd be stupid not to have a car. A sharp wooded drop down Hogtrough Hill. The ridge of the North Downs, a mile and a half with occasionally-excellent views and the odd reclusive bungalow.

Westerham Heights, the highest point in London, a stone's throw from the highest point in Kent. Garden centre facing off against Indian restaurant. An unnervingly quiet country lane where Kent becomes Surrey at a dip in Rag Hill. Paddocks and woodland on steep slopes dividing lower Tatsfield from upper Biggin Hill. Waran Food and Wine on Lusted Hall Lane, the first time in 20 miles it's been possible to buy a Mars Bar. Two farms, a detour round superfluous fields, then back north across hundreds of ploughed acres and woodland named after animals. Skid Hill Lane is home to the monthly Keston Gun Club Clay Shoot and absolutely nothing else and was once a Roman Road, hence its boundariness.

Croydon

The Greenwich Meridian crosses the playing fields of Meridian High School. The postwar suburb of New Addington, where Fairchildes Avenue is the only residential street to abut the Surrey boundary. Down Hutchinson's Bank to run parallel to Featherbed Lane within deep woodland. Well-hidden Scout camp offering archery, laser tag and a Tomahawk Instructor Course. Holes five and six of one golf course lead to hole 2 of another. Round Selsdon Wood, following Baker Boy Lane and Farleigh Border. Then Oaken Shaw, Mossyhill Shaw and Mosehill Shaw as this full-on rural excursion continues. Hamsey Green has a pond, the first decent shopping parade and the start of the London Loop's best section. Out onto Riddlesdown past a large secondary school and summer harvestables (the views!), then steeply down the side of a huge chalk quarry of geological importance. Public footpath level crossing on the East Grinstead line.

Across the dry valley (and the A22), then switch to the Caterham line almost as far as Whyteleafe station. Skirt the edge of Kenley Aerodrome behind three of the WW2 blast pens. The dividing line between where folk in Caterham-on-the-Hill live and where they walk their dogs, which is mainly the airfield and Coulsdon Common. Bus stop, coal tax post and Sea Cadets. Steep descent into Happy Valley - glorious! - then back up the other side into Piles Wood. Arbitrary right turn on bridleway straight across the lower reaches of an arable field to the southernmost point in Greater London.

On Ditches Lane a full mile along the hedge on the left-hand-side, dodging all the rat-running vehicles not expecting to see anybody here. Farthing Downs arguably has a better view than Happy Valley or Riddlesdown but alas the boundary heads downhill before the car park. Drive Road but not Pretty Lane. Straight across adjacent railway cuttings deep in chalk, funnelling the fast track to Brighton and the slow. Three stiles lead to a domain of very big detached houses, all securely on the Surrey side. Gateway to a private road, then the edge of Rickman Hill Rec and tumble down the Cinder Path to Chipstead Valley. The 434, the 166 and the 463, all separately demarcated. Narrow bridge beneath the Tattenham Corner line and along the back of the back gardens on Winifred Road.

Sutton

Around Prospect Plantation, tucking behind the Methodist Church before demarcating Corrigan Rec. The blandly-named Big Wood, opposite all the outlying playing fields a private school can muster. Inaccessible paddocks and greenhouses. Off-road bend to permit the Mayfield Lavender Fields to be part of Secret London. Bridleway between fields and golf course, then between women's prison and suburbia, then between Banstead Common and a cancer hub. Where the 280 terminates, opposite the station insufficient trains stop at. Paths into deep heathland or dental realignment, your choice. Along some Brighton Road to the start of a dual carriageway it's horrible to cross on foot. Two golf courses, only one of which is in Surrey because why should London always miss out? Huge houses named after golfing terms.

The almost-enclave of Cuddington, where Higher Drive is one of London's longest unbroken residential streets. Shabby lane with ancient lampposts. Playing field for rugger and cricket types. The wealthy backside of Cheam, whose residents may or may not stoop to drink at The Grumpy Mole. A woodland edge is the dividing line between ultra-historic Nonsuch Park and merely Cheam Rec. Another London Road, this time the A24. Suburban fringe where Sparrow Farm once stood, including perverse deviation to Richlands Avenue. A mile along the Epsom railway, the true division hereabouts, finally crossing just behind The Brook gastropub in Worcester Park.

Kingston

The Baptist church is in, the rest of The Avenue is out. A long unbroken run behind Highdown to not-quite Ophelia's stretch of the Hogsmill River. Tales of the riverbank, swinging behind a converted mill and a Toby Carvery along Old Malden Lane. Huge sports ground on floodable land where housing was never advised, including football pitches and a professional kart race circuit. Tolworth proper dodged in favour of Tolworth Court Meadows, field upon field of recently grazable space. Bear off down the Bonesgate Stream past skatepark, basketball court and semi-feral council estate.

Here beginneth the six mile circumnavigation of Chessington, mostly rural but with a short bungalowed burst to start. Castle Hill is ancient and small, Horton Country Park is huge and stretches all the way to luxury apartments in a former psychiatric hospital. The London side is a lengthy sequence of fields, so many of them stubbly post-harvest, the boundary delineated by the treeline of Ashtead Common. Coal tax post, inevitably. At the tip of the epiglottis is The Star, Malden Rushett's livelier pub, then curl back past a gun club, Telegraph Hill and the thick timbers of Princes Covert. Chessington World of Adventures comes clearly into earshot, but comes no closer than the foot of the car park.

Beyond the big lake a two-mile alignment to the Esher bypass, the actual A3, but only walkable it as far as the primary school. By now Chessington has become Hook, a sharp left turn at the allotments avoiding Hook Junction in a dash for Love Lane. Suburbia restarts, appropriately in Surbiton, here brushing up against the cul-de-sacs of Long Ditton. The boundary bulges around Victoria Park to ensure it's all the capital. The river is approached through Seething Wells, the former waterworks and current student accommodation also all on the London side. Cue the Thames...

Richmond

For almost four miles the edge of London is the middle of the Thames. First Hampton Court Park then the royal palace itself, chimneys a-dazzle, passing a couple of islands along the way. Hampton Court Bridge is the sole fixed crossing on the periphery, conveniently placed for the station, Turks Pier and The Mute Swan. Of the six islands in the stream, three are Surrey's and three aren't. The corner of Bushy Park is visible from St Alban's Riverside, though likely no deer, then it's Garrick country with his villa and Temple to Shakespeare. The Hampton Ferry ceases crossings after the clocks go back but the canoe club go out in all weathers. Reservoirs and water treatment works shield much of the Middlesex shore, then a row of waterside mansions mean the Thames is done and it's time to cut inland. This is still waterworks country so paths are few and fences secure, with only some of Kempton Nature Reserve occasionally accessible. The first half of the mile along the Shepperton railway is in Richmond...

Hounslow

...but beyond the Staines Reservoirs Aqueduct it's all Hounslow. Bunny Lane once ran alongside Kempton Park racecourse but that's long severed, sorry. The busy dual carriageway by the steam museum is about to transform into the M3, but instead slice past the layby cafe and follow the very minor Felthamhill Brook. Zigzag past Kenyngton Manor Rec and the rugby club to Groveley Hall, the hut where the 2nd Sunbury Guides hold court. Feltham's farthest-flung cul-de-sacs lead to the Chertsey Road and the Sunbury Research Centre, for many decades home to BP's research division (but they plan to move out next year). Straight across the corporate playing field, for now, then negotiate a former gravel pit past a dozen Ashford cul-de-sacs.

Bedfont Lakes Country Park comes in two parts entirely severed by the Staines-bound railway line and none shall cross. The South Side is humbler than the sprawling dogwalk paradise to the north, also it has the cafe and the owl sculpture. Beyond Clockhouse Lane are huge tessellating lakes, the boundary predating them so cutting across three. On the Staines Road a logistics hub with data centre, a mosque, a lowly cafe and the Mr Bubbles carwash. Then the full western perimeter of the hydrocarbon heaven that is Esso's West London Terminal, its field of smelly silos ideally located to serve Heathrow's greedy needs. But the airport's in Hillingdon, just across the Bedfont Road, which means we're now halfway round the entirety of Greater London... a good place to pause.

Forest Hill, Ewell, Cheam and Norbury

2026-10-07T07:00:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I went to Forest Hill, Ewell, Cheam and Norbury.

It's only been a year since WH Smith's high street stores rebranded meaninglessly as TG Jones, but they've already started closing. This is what happens when venture capitalists rationalise their portfolio via a restructuring plan, they shut things, because it's not about community service it's about value for investors. Uxbridge went in July, Brixton in August, Greenford and Worcester Park in September, Pinner goes next Wednesday and Orpington and West Wickham later this month.

This is TG Jones in Forest Hill which was due to shut last week but has had a stay of execution until the end of the month. The upstairs Post Office will also have to close until somewhere else can be found for it, this the inevitable consequence of a policy that shacked up public service in private spaces.

It's a bit grim inside, although this may not solely be a result of impending closure. The range of available goods is somewhat limited, including not much stationery, a handful of jigsaws and one skipping rope. Diaries and Christmas cards are half price (though it's a very limited selection), whereas cards for landmark birthdays are fairly plentiful should you have one coming up. Even the confectionery rack is 20% off, although that may just reduce prices closer to normal. Magazines are however clearly labelled "not included in this clearance offer", plus good luck finding copies of Athletics Weekly, Women's Health or Airgun World once this place closes.

I spent a lot of time in Rickmansworth's WH Smiths when I was a child and much more in Watford's, hunting down a treasured book, treating myself to a geometry set or flicking through the singles and cassettes in the mezzanine record department. Alas Watford's TG Jones is closing on 27th January and Rickmansworth's closes on October 17th, so perhaps I ought to go back beforehand in case there are any local specials. Also remember that just because you no longer rely on these shops many people do, not least the staff who are about to be turfed out of a job. They sounded stoic in Forest Hill as they restocked the shelves, not publicly negative but you could tell something here wasn't right. Alas no longer Smith Nor Jones.

London's TG Jones
Doomed: Cheam, Colliers Wood, Croydon, Eltham, Forest Hill, Harrow, Muswell Hill, Orpington, Pinner, Southgate, Streatham, Temple Fortune, Wandsworth, West Wickham
Not yet doomed: Barnet, Beckenham, Bexleyheath, Brent Cross, Bromley, Chiswick, Ilford, Kingston, Lewisham, Richmond, Romford, Ruislip, Sutton, Teddington, Twickenham, Wallington, Westfield, Westfield

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I hadn't spotted these two road signs in Ewell before. They're on the north site of the gyratory around Bourne Hall, the library complex that looks like a flying saucer. Several large ponds also exist here at the source of the Hogsmill, hence the abundance of wildfowl, hence two signs warning drivers not to run them over. Aww, aren't they cute?

But not official. The official roadsign for "Wild fowl likely to be in road ahead" is a single duck, as exemplified in the DfT's Traffic Signs Manual Diagram 551.2, with zero ducklings following after. Similarly the only animals to appear on approved roadsigns are cattle, horses, deer, frogs, ducks and hedgehogs, never swans and definitely not cygnets. Someone local has felt the need to add these convincing fakes, but when and why?

I checked on Streetview because this is a great way to answer various roadsign questions. The duck/duckling sign appeared sometime between 2012 and 2015, which is ages ago, whereas the swan/cygnet sign appeared between 2022 and 2024. Thus they're not contemporary they're a decade apart, which is intriguing. Even more intriguing is that the swan sign has been attached in front of another sign, that for 'frail pedestrians', entirely obscuring it. Someone has unilaterally decided that warning motorists about wildfowl is more important than warning motorists about old people and I would seriously question that decision, however lovable the cygnet sign is.

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A new arrival on Cheam Broadway is this tanning salon.
It's called TAN-GERINE Tanning.
And I wouldn't have called it that.
Why make yourself bright orange?

When this blog started I used to have a feature called the Creative Lounge in which I invited readers to come up with clever and appropriate names for things. We did new planets, bottled waters, businesses in Diss, modern surnames, chemical elements, London Eye sponsorship, allsorts, just like we were a top-drawer marketing team. So let's see if we can do better with a name for a tanning salon...

Welcome to the Creative Lounge
Take a seat. Take a deep breath.
Now, try flexing your creative muscle...
I started you off, now I've added some of your best ideas. Any more?

Tanning salon names (appropriate)
Goldrush, Tan Tricks, Foxy Brown, Sun Deck, Glow Getters, Hot Tropic, Cheamgleam, Tan-go!, Umberland, Tanfastic, ?

Tanning salon names (inappropriate)
Bronze Meddle, Crispy Bakin', Golden Shower, Brown Nosing, Charredonay, Tan Gents, Let Us Spray, Mixed Grill, Melanomarama, Toast of the Town, Deep Fried Nice, Pay As You Burn, Trumptan, Brassed Off, ?

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This is the display of crisps in the window in the front of Norbury Local at 1522 London Rd. It's typical of many a minimarket cornershop, a wide choice of largish snackbags at quite high prices.

I'm particularly intrigued that some manufacturers now print prices in the corner of the bag, perhaps to ensure they make a profit, perhaps to stop the retailer adding too much of a mark-up, perhaps because people buy more crisps when it's clear how much they cost. But perhaps it's simply taking advantage of people who want a quick snack, because these prices are way above what you'd pay in a supermarket.

30g bag of McCoy's crisps here: £1.35 (4.5p per gram)
45g bag of McCoy's crisps at Waitrose: £1.25 (2.8p per gram)
6 25g bags of McCoy's crisps at Sainsbury: £1.75 (1.2p per gram)

70g bag of Walker's crisps here: £1.49 (2.1p per gram)
6 25g bags of Walker's crisps at Tesco: £1.75 (1.2p per gram)

70g bag of Doritos here: £1.49 (2.1p per gram)
150g bag of Doritos at Morrisons: £2.50 (1.7p per gram)
5 30g bags of Doritos at Asda: £2.15 (1.4p per gram)

Admittedly when you want a street snack you don't want to buy a multipack, but even so the mark-up on these crisps is pretty high for what's essentially an identical product, just a different size. Pay for convenience, pay over the odds.

Performative remembrance

2026-10-06T09:00:00.000+01:00

I was in Kenton yesterday and was surprised to see Harrow council had already slapped poppies on lampposts. It's the first week of October, guys, what were you thinking?

The poppies were all along the shopping parades on Kenton Road, one per lamppost, but not on the Brent side because they're not kneejerk remembrance fetishists. The red flowers also bedecked two shopping parades in Queensbury, and are likely elsewhere but I wasn't on a deliberate scavenger hunt to spot them.

Admittedly Remembrance Sunday is the earliest it can be this year, but 8th November is still FIVE WEEKS AWAY and this premature bloom is entirely unnecessary. The Royal British Legion don't launch their appeal until 22nd October, their starting pistol always fired 17 days before the Cenotaph ceremony, whereas Harrow have gone for 34 days which is effectively Double Remembrance. Are they trying to get value for money for their flappy bits of red plastic, is the councillor in charge a super-patriot or did someone at the depot just get overexcited?

Remembrance started as a two minute silence, was extended to a week in which to buy a poppy and is now a full-on 2½ weeks of red-pinned expectation. But it doesn't need to become a five week campaign covering most of October, which isn't even the month associated with remembrance, just because some official thinks it important to turn Poppytide into a season rather than an event. Even TfL normally wait for the second half of October before slapping poppies on the front of hundreds of their trains, although they also often feel the need to jump the gun Legion-wise.

And don't get me started on how long it can take to remove the poppies afterwards, with some of these plastic poppies still in situ long after Christmas festivities should have taken over, becoming meaningless symbols rather than emblems of retrospection and respect. There is absolutely no need to extend a brief silence to several weeks of performative remembrance, it's pointless artificial virtue-signalling, because it's never disrespectful to wait to remember.

Three more dead buses

2026-10-06T08:00:00.000+01:00

Yesterday TfL's Chief Undertaker sounded the death knell for three more London buses, the 415, the C3 and the D7.

RIP 415
The 415 was introduced in 2008 and runs between Tulse Hill and the Tesco on the Old Kent Road. It's shadowed by at least two other bus routes along every road it covers, so arguably superfluous. It will thus die, with the 333 extended from Elephant & Castle to the aforementioned Tesco to retain connections north of Brixton. South of Brixton bus frequency will drop by 30% which isn't great, but arguably nobody loses out too badly. [consultation] [map] [routes before] [routes after]

RIP C3
The C3 was introduced in 1987, initially as a minibus, now a double decker. It runs from Earl's Court to Clapham Junction via Chelsea Harbour and at 5 miles is one of London's shorter routes. It dies because there are currently too many buses between South Kensington and Putney, and apparently the best way to sort that is to divert the 74 to take over the C3 completely. The worst affected passengers are shoppers at Earl's Court's Tesco who may now have to walk over 500m to catch a 74, also those in central London aiming for Fulham who'll now need to change buses. [consultation] [map]

RIP D7
The D7 was introduced in 1989 and runs from Mile End to Poplar around the edge of the Isle of Dogs. It's already had its frequency chopped from 8 buses an hour to 5 and the latest proposal is to extinguish it altogether. In mitigation three other buses will be tweaked to maintain a comprehensive network on the Isle of Dogs, Specifically the 135 and 277 will switch routes and the D6 will go a longer way round to Asda. The biggest losers are those along Westferry Road who'll now have 45% fewer buses, should they still be travelling which apparently fewer and fewer people on the island are. [consultation] [map] [routes before] [routes after]

It's all about cutting excess capacity, reducing duplication and saving money, but as a consequence breaking connections, increasing reliance on the Hopper fare and making people wait longer.

"We will simplify routes in central and inner London, running a smaller number of high frequency, more reliable routes, so that we can deliver an attractive service which is still comprehensive and frequent, but has less duplication and excess capacity."

Consultations are underway and the end result may not be precisely as anticipated. But expect more of this kind of thing going forward.

Dead Buses Since 2023
2023: 271, 332, 507, 521, 168
2024: 455, 549
2025: 347, 497, 118, 414, R6, 283
2026: 472, 533, 349
proposed: 67, 254, 415, C3, D7

New Buses Since 2023
2023: SL10, SL1
2024: SL5, SL3, SL2, S2, 439, 310
2025: BL1, SL4
2026: SL11, SL12, 10
proposed: 454, SL13, SL14, SL15

Pudding Mill update

2026-10-06T07:00:00.000+01:00

It's now 15 years since the Olympic neighbourhood of Pudding Mill got its name and 14 years since the Games skedaddled. And yet the number of homes in this new residential neighbourhood remains zero, indeed not a single foundation has yet been dug. Who says there's a housing shortage?

What Pudding Mill does have is a world-class tourist attraction in the form of the Abba Arena, supposedly temporary but still doing great business which makes it hard to remove. The Voyage show was initially only given planning permission for three years until March 2025, but that's since been incrementally extended and the latest sunset date is 2031. A key issue here is that the arena was built on the site of Pudding Mill's proposed neighbourhood centre, the intended site for shops, employment space and a community hub. It wouldn't really work to build flats in the empty space all around but with nowhere to buy milk because Dancing Queen is still belting out seven times a week.

The latest planning application, just published, solves the problem by shifting priorities to the neighbouring plot. Here the 80-bed Snoozebox Hotel has been offering constricted sleep since 2020 and pre-Abba drinks since 2022, but the fact it's all inside containers makes it very easy to remove. That's currently pencilled in for midwinter, indeed you can't book a stay after 31st January, with the intention that this wedge gets built on first. The revised application proposes to shift all the commercial space here instead, also to switch the tallest buildings so that this is the new landmark neighbourhood centre, not the Abba site. Previously this plot was pencilled in for two 9-storey buildings but it's now destined to hold a 12- and a 25-. Unsurprisingly making architectural changes on this scale has really slowed the process down.

Pudding Mill is due to be delivered in four stages, of which the Abba site is the final phase 4. This Snoozebox wedge is phase 2a, and the much larger plot across Marshgate Lane is phase 1. Nothing's begun on that site either, indeed planning permission only was only granted in May, although initial works may finally take place over the next few months. Then there's the Bridgewater Triangle site across the Greenway where planning permission was sought five years ago and bugger all has been built there too, the last couple of years having been spent tidying up the riverside and replacing a bridge.

It is a very nice new bridge, ideally configured for a car-free neighbourhood, but for goodness sake can't somebody just start building somewhere to live?

King's Road

2026-10-05T07:00:00.000+01:00

This is the King's Road, Chelsea's classic cultural artery.

Here are ten mini-posts about the famous street and what I saw there yesterday.

1) The King in question was Charles II who had it built as a private road to speed his passage to Hampton Court. Access was later extended to the nobility but only if they were in possession of a special token, with plebs forced to travel via the parallel Fulham Road instead. Only in 1830 was the King's Road fully opened up to allcomers, kickstarting wider development in Chelsea, and it's remained a tad posh ever since.

2) It goes on a bit, over a mile and a half, not just the full width of Kensington & Chelsea but a deep nudge into Hammersmith & Fulham. The east end is at Sloane Square and by the time you get to the other end at Sands End the house/shop numbers are up to 646. It then switches to being New King's Road and ends up in the 400s, but Mary Quant barely troubled the Fulham end so I'm ignoring that.

3) King's Road might one day have a Crossrail station, although the project's on ice until sufficient funding is available which is likely never. A Chelsea-Hackney line was first proposed as a tube line in 1970 and came closest to reality in a 2015 consultation linking Broxbourne to inner Surrey. Alas Crossrail 2 was mothballed in 2020 but various buildings opposite Chelsea Town Hall remain safeguarded as entrances and worksites just in case, this the sole stop between Victoria and Clapham Junction. I don't expect The Head of Oscar Wilde by Eduardo Paolozzi will ever need to be moved.

4) Two rooms at the Saatchi Gallery are currently showing brief exhibitions before a six month street art blockbuster opens in November. One room's sponsored by Winsor & Newton who asked artists to submit watercolours on a postcard and are displaying hundreds and hundreds on white shelves. I enjoyed them, mostly because there are so many I could always find several I liked, but not so much that I'd want to bid for any in the follow-up charity auction. The other gallery houses ArtEvol 2026, a salon-style exhibition curated by the London Art Collective, and includes works by Schafernaker and 87 non-meteorologists. Visit before 11th October otherwise it's £25 until May.

5) Some famous addresses along the King's Road include number 203 (the electronics shop where Neil Tennant first met Chris Lowe, now part of The Ivy restaurant), number 213 (where Thomas Arne wrote Rule Britannia, still a private home) and number 430 (Malcolm McLaren's Sex boutique, still a Vivienne Westwood outlet).

6) Down at World's End I was intrigued by this breakfast menu outside the Mona Lisa Cafe. What on earth is a Liver Breakfast, or rather I know what it is because the components are listed but why on earth would a cooked breakfast include calf's liver? I've since discovered it's because the Mona Lisa has been here for over 50 years and specialises in 'English breakfasts & Italian faves', in a proper classic caff style so fried offal is very much what you might get with your bacon and eggs. I've found a photo and actually it looks temptingly good, particularly if I then smothered it in ketchup, but £14.95 still feels like a very SW10 price for a cooked breakfast.

7) Not in the King's Road but up a sideroad I spotted a blue plaque for Joyce Grenfell nextdoor to a blue plaque for Sir Stafford Cripps. He was born at 32 Elm Park Gardens and she lived happily in a flat at 34 fron 1957 to 1979. That's already more blue plaques than in the whole of Havering, Hillingdon and Sutton (0, 0 and 1 respectively) whereas Kensington and Chelsea has 195. Close by are AA Milne, Dame Sybil Thorndyke, Evelyn De Morgan, Jean Rhys and Rosalind Franklin, and score 10 points if you know why all of these people are famous.

8) Just off the King's Road I saw one of the very first numberplates 2R on a seven year-old Mini Cooper. R2 is on a Rolls Royce Phantom which feels more appropriate, although I've never seen that.

9) I thought these consecutive bus stops were a particularly good example of the revised digit spacing TfL introduced about ten years ago. The first shows the original spacing where the 1s were close together and had a serif, and the second shows the current idiom where the 1s are further apart. Not everyone liked the new spacing, especially Men Who Like Buses But Get Angry About Change.

10) The King's Road on a Sunday morning is all posh people buying coffee, also posh people buying matcha and sounding excited about it, also posh people buying pastries at Gail's and walking home to share them with the family, also jogging down the pavement in £200 sunglasses, also sitting down with Eggs Benedict in a cute cafe, also so much long blond hair and designer casuals and rugby shirts and impeccable jackets and boxfresh trainers, also lifestyle boutiques, also wellness clinics, also shops that get by because posh people are never fully happy with their interior design, also smart outlets that exist solely to siphon off disposable income from top taxbracket earners and if you're a bit socialist it's all a bit triggering, especially when compared to how folk in Harlesden or Dalston are getting by, almost as if when the revolution starts it should start here, not that I think like that but it's all too easy to compare Chelsea's easy excess with the lives of the urban majority and conclude that inequality is endemic and perhaps when Charles II built a private road the trappings never quite went away.

Rural vibes

2026-10-04T07:00:00.000+01:00

Rural vibes

✅ Village pond (ring of benches, reedy growth, warning of deep water, rustic litter bins, lifebelt on back of bus shelter, inevitable ducks)

✅ Village green (picnic benches, memorial trough, beacon, premature fallen leaves, beech mast, dogmess bins, playground, bronze statue of girl reading book)
✅ Village shop (shuts for lunch, reopens bang on time, sparse shelves, AI-drawn poster in window, still sells newspapers but also artisan breads and Fairtrade jars, includes craft workshop space)

✅ Former village shop (was bakery, now Eight Mediterranean, "an exciting new coffee shop and restaurant concept offering a selection of the very best of Turkish/Mediterranean cuisine using only the best quality raw materials with special attention being paid to the preparation and presentation of the product as well as the healthiness factor", also breakfast, also cake, chef required)
✅ 'The Old Police House' (currently for sale, offers in excess of £600,000, but there is no 'The Old Post Office' because the Post Office is still open)

✅ War memorial (flat slab rather than inscribed cross, four WW1 silhouettes because one would be insufficient, crocheted wreath, one of last year's poppies still in situ, visit by Air Cadets still a month off)
✅ Bus shelter (four buses a day to a choice of provincial towns, also redundant bus shelter now used for community library, three shelves of books including Bill Bryson, John Grisham and Val McDermid)

✅ Village pub (former Charringtons but now freehouse, early drinkers at window table, blue-timbered bar, homemade Lasagne Special, Quiz Night every Wednesday, potwasher wanted)
✅ Village noticeboard (map, crimestopping advice, upcoming gatherings, parish council notices, subject matter of parochial interest, cultural event which on closer inspection is in nearby town)

✅ Village signpost (points to Women's Institute Hall because of course it does, also Scout Hut, also Playing Field, also 'School' because that's not ambiguous in a village)
✅ Village church (not in village centre but an annoying walk way especially on inclement Sundays, flinty, Norman, rubber stamp for pilgrim passports, Reverend Helen, churchwardens called Chris and Marjory, summer Sunday teas, poorly-located Millennium Hall)

✅ Village hall (prominent Union Jack, potted tubs, annexe named after village elder, regular activities including short mat bowls and Barré with Fi)
✅ Village Club (prominent Union Jack, hanging baskets, bingo, pool, snooker, darts, quizzes, also meat raffle every Friday, also poker every Sunday evening, new members welcome)

✅ Village newsletter (articles include Nigel's Nature Notes and Martial Arts Summer Update, adverts include investment advice and mobile chiropodist, planning notices include single-storey rear extension on Ricketts Hill Road, upcoming events include WI Harvest Lunch and An Evening With Owls)
✅ Street furniture (telegraph poles covered with ivy, old lamppost with LED lamp, horseriding sign, postbox which turns out to be someone's mailbox)

✅ Cottages (some old, some painted, a few terraced, picket fences, ceramic nameplates, shrubbery starting to go red, birdtables)
✅ Bungalows (carport, charging point, veranda, box hedge, pampas grass, loft extension, solar panels, skip for building works, multiple bins)

✅ Detacheds (oddly-shaped pile the first owner somehow slipped past the parish council planning committee, odd name like Wareslea or Glen Nevis, entryphone, gravel drive, room for four cars, security camera, yapping dog)
✅ Lanes (lanes with no pavement which is fine because nobody walks anyway, lanes that peter out into "unsuitable for motor vehicles", unmade road surfaces because the council isn't responsible, corners residents tend to take slightly too fast, lanes that have to be signed 'Public Footpath' because otherwise they'd look too private)

✅ Public footpaths (those generally only used by dogwalkers, those which are just obscure cut-throughs, those which end up in scrappy woodland, those which squeeze between back fences, those you can't imagine anyone using but there's still a Costa Coffee cup halfway along, those which are so steep you'd only walk down)
✅ Villagers (grey-haired shoppers, adolescents back from weekend sport, owner occupiers on their knees in front garden flower beds, bistro sippers, Waitrose unloaders, reluctant carwashers, suspicious twitchers, actual member of Bucks Fizz, seven-time Grand Prix motorcycle World Champion, one of the Cambridge Five spy ring)

✅ Red London bus (departs every 30 minutes from the shelter by the pub, ideal if you want to get to New Addington, far better than schlepping up the hill, driver takes the Hail and Ride sections quite fast, helps groups of teenagers escape to the nearest decent shopping parade, helps Surrey residents take advantage of everything London has to offer, timetable is for a stop at the other end of the route thus useless and has been in situ since March 2024 because TfL never check these things, ensures Tatsfield is surprisingly easy to get to)

Villages outside London reachable by TfL bus
» Colnbrook by 81
» Denham by 331
» Chigwell by 167
» Stapleford Abbotts by 375
» Joydens Wood by B12
» Knockholt and Halstead by R5/R10
» Tatsfield by 464 (possibly the villagiest of all)
» Mickleham by 465 (or this one)
» Claygate by K3
» Sunbury by 216/235

WLO level crossings

2026-10-03T07:00:00.000+01:00

Last week TfL launched a consultation for the West London Orbital, a new Overground route connecting Hounslow and Hendon. It's an easy win, almost entirely following existing tracks and linking key growth hubs including Old Oak Common. If all goes well it could be operational by 2035, which is almost immediate in transport project terms, and seemingly with very few downsides. Except there is an issue for some of those who live nearby because three level crossings may need to be completely closed, including one the new line won't even use.

Here's the new line with the three level crossings along the route shown by orange arrows. Closing them wouldn't be popular.

And they might have to close simply because they wouldn't be open very much any more.

"Under current railway operating rules, the level crossing barriers - which are already lowered for around 40% to 50% of the time during the day - would be closed for longer periods. When WLO services are added, the barriers would be lowered for up to 75% of the time for periods as long as 11 minutes at a time. While technology improvements are being explored which could result in barrier down times not increasing this much, based on current rules the closure of the level crossings to road traffic would be required."

Level crossing 1

This is Churchfield Road in Acton, immediately north of Acton Central station. It's so close that the platforms go right up to the level crossing. It's so close that there are entrances on both sides. It's so close that when the gates are down, the station subway is the only way across. And the intention is to close it if the West London Orbital goes live.

I should say it's not normally closed, I just happened to turn up during a week of Thames Water works. If nothing else it proves that residents can cope locally when the road is blocked. But that doesn't mean they'd enjoy losing this on-street connection forever, especially those I saw crossing it yesterday on bikes and with pushchairs.

At the moment Acton Central is only on the Mildmay line, thus sees four trains an hour in each direction. If the West London Orbital comes into operation that total would double, which means the barriers would have to come down twice as often. That would flip the crossing from 'barriers mostly up' to 'barriers mostly down', such is the potential impact of 16 separate closures every hour. Network Rail are never keen on level crossings and would prefer to close most of them, hence the safety risks introduced by additional trains at Acton Central would be a surefire trigger to close it for good.

This is a busy spot with a gentrified shopping street on one side and Acton Park on the other. It's not a truly main road so traffic would be able to find another way, but closing the level crossing would undoubtedly force more vehicles onto Acton High Street. As for pedestrians and cyclists TfL say "the solution could involve a new pedestrian/cycle bridge or make use of the existing station subway". Squeezing a bridge in might require repurposing existing land, especially given the need for an accessibly long ramp, and would really put a damper on what's currently an easy walk down the street. As for the existing subway expensive lifts would need to be added, also it's all currently behind the gateline so the ticket barriers would need to be moved. The only people gaining here are Network Rail's risk assessors, everyone else would lose out.

Level crossings 2a and 2b

This is Bollo Lane, a short distance south of South Acton station. It's also the site of one of London's rare double level crossings, in this case just 75m apart. The track splits here with one spur heading towards Gunnersbury, the existing Mildmay line with four trains an hour. The other spur heads west towards Brentford and is currently used only by a smattering of freight trains. But if the West London Orbital were introduced it too would see a four-trains-an-hour service, and suddenly the multiplicity of barriers on Bollo Lane would be up and down all over the place. It couldn't continue.

On my visit I got to watch both crossings in action, the first only because a freight train happened to be passing by. Down came the barriers on the Kew line and we waited, and waited, because it turns out level crossing barriers come down really prematurely these days. It was precisely three minutes until the freight train finally arrived and almost four before the barriers went up again. In that time a backlog of at least two dozen vehicles had built up, also five bikes and three mopeds. The other crossing took even longer to reopen, this because Mildmay services are timetabled to pass by within a couple of minutes of each other. It thus took 2½ minutes before the first southbound train passed by, then another two minutes before the northbound train passed through, and ultimately the barriers were down for a few seconds short of five minutes.

You can imagine the traffic chaos if up to 16 closures of 3-5 minutes were required every hour on such a short section of road, also the unacceptability of traffic at one set of barriers queueing back towards the other. Thus if the West London Orbital is ever introduced at least one of the two crossings would have to close. Operationally speaking either would do, so it all comes down to not messing up the buses. Routes 70 and 440 both cross the WLO crossing, then slip into the back of the Chiswick Park business park without troubling the Mildmay crossing. The proposal is thus to close the Mildmay crossing, permanently, thereby ending all through traffic apart from the buses. Entirely counter-intuitively, introducing new trains on one line screws the level crossing on the other.

Level crossing 3

This is Wood Lane in Isleworth, three miles west of the previous pair on Bollo Lane. It's the only road across the railway between Isleworth and Syon Lane stations but that won't save it because it crosses on the flat. Also, this one's going to bugger up a bus route.

For most of the day this crossing only sees two trains an hour in each direction, i.e. four in total. But if the WLO were introduced that'd rise to six in each direction, i.e. twelve an hour, and that's been deemed less tenable. Wood Lane is thus extremely likely to face permanent closure. That would divide what's seemingly a quiet residential area, although while I was here I counted twenty pedestrians on the crossing during a three minute period so it's hardly tumbleweed country. TfL's mitigation for pedestrians and cyclists would likely be a footbridge, again squeezed in somehow, and again an absolute pain forever compared to the easy option available today.

Closing the level crossing would also permanently block the road taken by the H28 bus. This is already a ridiculously tortuous route, meandering back and forth across the Hounslow suburbs, and removing Wood Lane as an option would mean it could only get tortuouser. A diversion route already exists when the crossing is closed which involves doing Syon Lane twice, which is operationally super-sub-optimal, and if that's what the eventual consultation suggests then Wood Lane really is being stuffed over twice.

And those are the three level crossings whose days are very likely numbered if this new Overground connection goes ahead. So next time you hear how excellent the West London Orbital is going to be, yes for the vast majority of Londoners it will be, but if you have the misfortune to live near one of these severed roads you may just curse its introduction.

Four SW London borough museums

2026-10-02T07:00:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I went to four museums run by outer SW London boroughs.
You can only do all four on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday.
Below is my summary addressed across seven categories.
I also awarded a score out of five to help me decide which is best.

Museum of Richmond
Open: Tue-Fri 11-5, Sat 10-4 (closed Sun, Mon)
Address: 2nd Floor, Old Town Hall, Richmond, TW9 1TP
Website: museumofrichmond.com

Building: Top floor of the Old Town Hall, bang in the town centre near Richmond Bridge. Feels very 'Victorian but upgraded in the 1980s', i.e. an out-of-date marble warren with glum stairs.
Welcome: Full-on greeting at the desk starting with the mandated question "Have you been before?", then a scripted summary, then a strong hint that donations are appreciated.
Galleries: One big long room with various alcoves. Separate temporary exhibition space behind entrance. Feels like it's not been updated much since the Queen opened it in 1988.
History: Richmond overflows with history, kicking off with a Tudor palace and skipping on through Georgian buildings, Victorian expansion and the World Wars. Pretty much nothing post-1945. Detailed background information to read. Ignores everything in the borough west of the Thames because that's the domain of Twickenham Museum instead.
Stuff: Plenty of cabinets and old things. Bits of old masonry, models, palace remnants, obligatory pots and jars, innards of workhouse clock, WW2 bomb map. Bamber Gascoigne narrates a video.
Extras: Little gift shop. Exhibition of colourful artistic quilts that was supposed to close at the end of September but they haven't replaced it yet. Family trails updated monthly. Regular programme of events including talks, LEGO Club and crafty workshops.
Summary: The whole place feels loved and creative, if a bit behind the times. ★★★⯨

→ catch a half-hourly train or take the 65 bus →

Kingston Museum
Open: Thu-Sat 10-5 (closed Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed)
Address: Wheatfield Way, Kingston upon Thames KT1 2PS
Website: kingstonheritage.org.uk

Building: Purpose-built in 1904 alongside a Carnegie Library, bang in the town centre near the shops. Looks very museum-y from the dual carriageway.
Welcome: Bit of a nod from the bloke on the desk. No pressure.
Galleries: Just the three, plus a separate art gallery upstairs. First 'Ancient Origins' which includes a very old Saxon log boat. Then the larger 'Town of Kings', which kicks off with an unconvincing Athelstan waxwork. The Eadweard Muybridge gallery is more of a connecting corridor. All feels very very old school.
History: Kingston overflows with history, much of it much earlier than Richmond's. Few other towns can compete with 'several kings were crowned here'. But there's more in several themed displays around the central mock-up of the Market House, some of it period-related and much of it connected to famous residents. Eadweard's pioneering photography deserves its elevated status.
Stuff: Plenty of it including dug-up-stuff, military stuff, a workplace clock and a model of old Kingston. Hurrah there's a map where you press a button and a red light lights up, because all museums of a certain age had those. Also look out for Snappity the museum mascot, a mechanical wooden toy made by the Sopwith Aviation Company in 1919, not an actual crocodile.
Extras: The only exhibition that changes is upstairs in the Art Gallery, where a celebration of the fashion Haus of Sibling should have been cleared away by now but hasn't. Also I managed to finish the Knit Wits puzzle trail despite the oddly worded clues and the extremely obvious solution.
Summary: It's lovely that it's still here, but feels even more behind the times than Richmond. ★★★

→ catch the SL7 bus →

Honeywood Museum (Sutton)
Open: Thu-Sat 10-5 (closed Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed)
Address: Honeywood Walk, Carshalton SM5 3NX
Website: friendsofhoneywood.co.uk

Building: 17th century Wandle Cottage overlooks Carshalton Ponds, and is by far the loveliest building in the loveliest location of any of these four museums.
Welcome: Would have been charming except the lady on the desk was chatting as I slipped in so instead I got a charming goodbye.
Galleries: It's a former family home so has loads of rooms, each differently themed, from the table-centred billiard room to the bedroom full of old toys. Quite a lot of narrow stairs to negotiate, which only adds to the atmosphere unless you can't get around easily, in which case be aware that the age of the building mitigates against a lift.
History: It turns out that the borough of Sutton has a quite a history, although most of that is "rural idyll with lavender farms gets swallowed up by nation's capital." Every part of the borough gets a fair shot, be it Beddington, Cheam or wherever, which alas isn't the case in the other three borough museums.
Stuff: Art and photographs are doing a lot of heavy lifting here, also objects that might typically have been found anywhere from Victorian times onwards. There are perhaps more old things at Sutton's other historic museum which is Whitehall in Cheam.
Extras: I couldn't get into one room because the fortnightly embroidery group were holding court. I could get into the garden, the art gallery, the little shop and the cosy cafe, which because it's Oktober has 6% German lager on tap. The volunteers that run the place have truly created a buzzing little hub.
Summary: Local and charming, which when you have a history like Sutton's is the best you can hope for. No spoilers, but it's my favourite of the four. ★★★★

→ catch the SL7 bus →

Museum of Croydon
Open: Wed-Sat 10-4.30 (closed Sun, Mon, Tue)
Address: Katharine Street, Croydon CR9 1ET
Website: museumofcroydon.com

Building: Part of the redbrick 19th-century town hall which looks suitably grand outside, but once inside it's just a big modern space subdivided for municipal reasons and architecturally bland.
Welcome: Nothing in the shared lobby, which was quite busy with librarygoers. But if you make it upstairs an underused bloke sits at a welcome desk covered with leaflets, and he was lovely but heaven knows why a bankrupt council pays for him to be there.
Galleries: Three. One was out of bounds because they were clearing out the Grayson Perry exhibition. One has a new exhibition called Shaping Croydon celebrating placemaking and identity. And the other one's entirely separate downstairs with a permanent collection of old artefacts bequeathed to the council in 1964. The interesting upstairs gallery with the bubblecar I remember from my last visit appears to have been emptied and/or sequestrated.
Stuff: The downstairs collection includes some Anglo-Saxon remnants but most of the items are old European artefacts of zero local relevance. The Shaping Croydon gallery has enjoyable ephemera from the opening of the 12-sided NLA Tower and an old film but is seriously devoid of broader coverage. I actually asked the nice bloke on the way out if that was it, and alas it was.
History: Croydon's a fascinating borough but you'd never guess from this vacuous space. In particular Shaping Croydon feels like a council ego trip filling as large a space as possible with occasional photos, post-its and buzzwords. The Mayor's very pleased with it, but the emperor has no clothes.
Extras: No. You could get a book out nextdoor I guess.
Summary: The council has more urgent things to fund, and it shows. Still, at least it still has a borough museum which is more than Barnet, Camden, Greenwich, Hammersmith & Fulham, Kensington & Chelsea, Lambeth, Lewisham, Merton, Tower Hamlets, Wandsworth and Westminster do. ★

TfL FoI requests in September 2026

2026-10-01T07:00:00.000+01:00

20 things we learnt from TfL FoI requests in September 2026

1) Since Superloop routes were introduced, the most used is the SL8 (22.7m passengers) followed by the SL9 (12.7m) and SL7 (10.5m). Already twice as many people have ridden the SL11 (2.2m, introduced January 2026) than have ridden the SL6 (1.1m, introduced July 2023).
2) The estimated final cost for Ickenham's new disabled car park is £1.88m. This is 25% higher than the estimate given in an FoI response a year ago. It equates to £625,000 per parking space.
3) The total cost of withdrawing bus route 347 was £13,325 (consultation £8400, removing seven bus stops £1225, removing timetables £700, changing e-tiles at bus stops £3000).
4) The most common bus-train interchange at Putney Bridge is from the last stop on route 265 to the station. The least common interchange is from bus route 424 at bus stop FH to the station.
5) There are no plans to use double deckers on route 108 due to the height restrictions in the Blackwall Tunnel, obviously.

6) 46% of roads on the TfL Road Network have a 20mph speed limit, up from 14% in 2021.
7) The new Piccadilly line trains are expected to use a synthetic (text-to-speech) voice for on-board announcements. There are no current plans to use this voice on any other train stocks.
8) 36 people work in the TfL pensions fund department, of whom 10 have line management responsibility.
9) Central, Jubilee, Northern, Victoria and all sub-surface lines are fitted with LCF (Low Coefficient of Friction) stick lubrication applied to the wheel flange root of selected wheelsets on every train. All lines use the same lubricant, "KELSAN LCF" manufactured by L.B. Foster.
10) The calming pod being trialled at Ealing Broadway station is not bomb-proof.

11) Once the scrappage of old DLR trains recommences in early 2027, TfL expect to be removing between two and four vehicles every 5 weeks.
12) The cycle hire docking station that's most usually full is Chadwell Street, Angel (18 spaces). The docking station that's most usually empty is Queen Street, Bank (36 spaces).
13) Of TfL's portfolio of 900 railway arches across London, 102 have been empty for over a year.
14) The total operating cost for the Woolwich Ferry in 2025/26 was £11.3m.
15) TfL have stopped sharing audio announcements via FoI requests because "basically people are using the voice on AI tools to get the voice artist to say anything they want which very obviously impacts on the voice artists' commercial interests in a variety of ways."

16) Last year there were 1,984,485 hires of Santander bikes in Westminster, 21% of which were e-bikes. The borough with the second highest total was Tower Hamlets with 1,213,015 hires, 16% of which were e-bikes.
17) The TfL mode with the highest CO₂ per passenger kilometre, by far, is Buses with 65.8gCO₂e/pkm. All other modes have emissions between 22 and 31, the lowest being the Tube with 22.8gCO₂e/pkm.
18) Expected completion dates for future railway projects (subject to planning, funding etc) are as follows: West London Orbital (2035), Old Oak Common Elizabeth line (2036-2039), DLR Thamesmead extension ("in the 2030s"), Bakerloo line extension (2040), Crossrail 2 (early 2050s).
19) The DfT are part-funding a two-year upgrade programme to build barcode readers directly into some TfL ticket gates. In the meantime handheld scanners are in use at the six stations experiencing the highest volume of barcoded tickets, namely Farringdon, Finsbury Park, Kentish Town, Moorgate, Old Street and Stratford.
20) TfL are not able to tell you "how many completed fares Uber has completed in the West Lancashire area since they have been operating in that region" and suggest you contact West Lancashire council instead.

This month's most obsessive request: a 1673-word submission about repairs to Barons Court station which ends thus: "The correct response was not “TfL is not aware.” The correct response was: we will inspect the station, investigate the defects, and challenge those who inspected or signed this work off. That is your duty. It is not my duty to assemble a case file for you. I have already told you what is on site: flaking and chipped paint, rust coming through, overcoating without proper preparation, furniture paint failing, and a colour scheme that has not been justified. In your own letter you accepted that chipped paint on newly painted platform furniture requires remedial action. You cannot accept that and then declare yourselves unaware of the rest. I am not required to keep sending photographs and videos in order to make TfL look at its own station. Your attachment limits are your problem. If you need to see the defects, send someone to the platform. I expect named responsibility, documents and inspection. I do not expect another letter that protects the organisation and writes as if I had not seen the station."

October 1

2026-10-01T00:10:00.000+01:00

It's the first of October, one of the less consequential starts to a new month.

April 1st means foolishness and financial beginnings.
May 1st means dancing, witchcraft and socialism.
December 1st means Advent, chocolate and red ribbons.
But October 1st means nothing much because the September/October interface is mostly meaningless.

I tried researching reasons why October 1st might be of importance.

• It's Lincolnshire Day, Nigerian Independence Day and the National Day of the People's Republic of China
• It's International Music Day, International Coffee Day and World Vegetarian Day
• It's the start of Black History month
• It's one of the four days when Ofgem adjusts the energy price cap
• It's roughly World Poetry Day (1st Thursday in October)
• It's just after Michaelmas (September 29th), one of the historic quarter days
• It's when the summer season at a lot of UK attractions ends
• It's around the time universities go back (but most already have)
• It's approximately harvest festival time

...but none of those are truly culturally significant, especially here in the UK.

I tried doing the same for the other 1sts of the month:

January 1st: new year, New Year's Day, public holiday, resolutions, cultural reset; the night before: Hogmanay, full-on partying, honours; around now: shortest days, sales, Twelfth Night
February 1st: nothing much; around now: Candlemas
March 1st: St David's Day, meteorological spring; the night before: maybe a Leap Day
April 1st: April Fools Day, new financial year; around now: new tax year
May 1st: May Day, morris dancing, International Workers Day, public holiday; the night before: Beltane
June 1st: meteorological summer; around now: public holiday
July 1st: nothing much; around now: Wimbledon, shortest nights
August 1st: Lammas; around now: harvest begins, school holidays underway, Edinburgh Festival
September 1st: meteorological autumn, back to school, back to work; around now: public holiday
October 1st: nothing much; around now: Michaelmas
November 1st: All Saints' Day; the night before: Hallowe'en, Samhain; around now: clocks go back, fireworks
December 1st: Advent calendars, Christmas season, World AIDS Day, meteorological winter; the night before: St Andrew's Day around now: Advent

The most important month changeover is clearly December/January, followed I'd say by August/September and November/December, followed by April/May and October/November.

In fact, let's try to rank all the firsts of the month...

Most culturally important: January 1st
Notably culturally important: September 1st, December 1st
Quite culturally important: May 1st, November 1st
Somewhat culturally important: March 1st, April 1st
Marginally culturally important: June 1st, August 1st
Barely culturally important: February 1st, July 1st, October 1st

Pinch, punch, and nobody really cares it's the first of the month.

Unblogged September

2026-09-30T07:00:00.000+01:00

30 unblogged things I did in September

Tue 1: It's been the UK's hottest summer on record, and I wonder if in 10 years time we'll all be looking forward to September when temperatures finally cool down.
Wed 2: If you fancy another daily game to play, try the slightly-unusual world of enclose-horse. Every day you have a set number of walls to place to enclose as much area as possible without letting the horse escape. Extra points for fruit, avoid the bees, and see if you can get the day's optimal score. (it's not a very good example today, sorry, try this one from three days ago)
Thu 3: It's that time of year again when I walk out of BestMate's house into a spider's web that definitely wasn't there two hours ago (and then spend the entire journey home wondering if I've brushed everything off).
Fri 4: Four months ago the family tortoise escaped from my Dad's back garden, having worked out how to clamber over the edge of her new run. Disaster! Beyond the hedge is open countryside so we thought that'd be the last we'd see of her, which is a bit galling after 45 years of feeding her cucumber and leaves. Amazingly today we found her again hiding in the hedge, none the worse for wear but in need of fattening up before autumn hibernation. Never give up hope...

Sat 5: Celebrity spotting 1: Seen round the back of Kenwood House from the 310 bus, the actual Richard E Grant, actor and star of Celebrity Traitors. I was particularly impressed that I recognised him first from the back of his head (then confirmed it was him when he walked past the bus).
Sun 6: I was sitting on the sofa reading when I heard an unusual scratching noise to my left. I looked round... and a squirrel was hanging off the side of my armchair! On seeing me thankfully it darted back out of the French windows rather than engaging in a panicked orgy of destruction across my living room. It's not been back since, but I am now oddly reticent to leave the door open just in case.
Mon 7: Usually the pavement outside Bow Road station is covered in conkers by now but hardly any of them have fallen yet. I blame the dry weather.
Tue 8: Exactly 50 years ago The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin was first shown on BBC2, so tonight BBC4 obliged with a reshowing. Super. Also I appear to have written the definitive post on where Reggie's house was, as over 200 viewers discovered during the programme. Great.
Wed 9: Celebrity spotting 2: Seen on the concourse at Euston station, the actual Tom Daley, diver and star of Celebrity Traitors. All trains had been cancelled so he was standing around in a crowd of hundreds of other delayed souls (and wearing some impressively flared trousers).
Thu 10: It's not every day you find yourself sitting opposite a falcon on the District line. It was being transported by a lady from London Falconry (and yes it was in a wheeled box, she didn't have it out sitting on a gauntlet).
Fri 11: Celebrity spotting 3: After taking a photo of a tile-edged roundel at Clapham South station, I stepped aside to let someone go past. And it was only Siddy Holloway, TfL's official Goddess of Tiles, so I very much hope she approved.

Sat 12: There was only one Open House visit I didn't tell you about, an architects' practice by the Regent's Canal. I spent most of my time not exploring the building but having a lovely chat with 75 year-old artist Hilary about a Cohousing development in Barnet. She loves living there, and we agreed that loads more people would retire this way if it took less than 18 years to set up.
Sun 13: Celebrity spotting 4: Seen on the platform at St Margaret's station, the actual Pete Townshend, rock guitarist from The Who. My antennae were first raised because he was wearing exceptionally shiny shoes (and confirmed when he started talking about guitars).
Mon 14: Pink recycling bags were actually available at Whitechapel Idea Store, and you could see the shock and surprise on the faces of the happy souls grabbing a roll.
Tue 15: Ah, the conkers are now well scattered outside Bow Road station, indeed one very nearly fell on my head as I walked past this morning. I'm still wondering where to plant it.
Wed 16: It's been over a year since anyone on public transport offered me a seat, so thanks to the 20-something in Kappa trackies on the Elizabeth line but no thanks. (I've reset my counter to zero...)
Thu 17: In this week's unashamedly posh Standard newspaper, a double-page spread of 26 fashionable Must Buys For The New Season. Average price £439 (cheapest item £35 socks, most expensive item a £4250 handbag). Last week it was "affordable" skiing holidays. I don't know why they bother distributing copies outside Plaistow station, it's very much not aimed at people there.
Fri 18: Seen on a black Land Rover Defender in Tottenham, the numberplate MU51CTV. I looked to see if Simon Cowell or anybody famous in the world of music TV was driving, but the man at the wheel rang no bells.

Sat 19: Speaking of numberplates, I spotted an impossible combination on a Citroen Spacetourer in Sydenham. PSD7BKS just cannot be real. I did some checking and a) it should be PS07BKS, b) Citroen have recalled the vehicle, c) the vehicle's never had an MOT despite being six years old. I do hope the owners eventually get caught out.
Sun 20: Do people not carry pens any more? Up the far end of the District line a large man in a suit leant over and asked if he could borrow mine, then jotted something down, then handed it back. I also came to the rescue during Open House when a woman wanted her book purchase signed by the author and nobody else present had a pen except me. Sorry, I bet it smudged.
Mon 21: Heard at Canary Wharf station ... "Please refrain from smoking, vaping and misbehaving at all times". Wow that's vague.
Tue 22: The library book I'm reading has just been selected for the Booker Prize shortlist, and blimey the judges are a lot braver with their choices these days.
Wed 23: I was trying to work out why there was a stationary Elizabeth line train on the railway bridge over Bow Road, given it leads to the c2c line where purple trains don't go. It turns out it was a reversing procedure, a way to get off the mainline and then return to Stratford. But you really don't see that very often.
Thu 24: Back in August TfL held a two week competition - essentially a raffle - to win a Golden Ticket pass for unlimited Dangleway travel. The terms and conditions said that afterwards you could email them to discover the surname and county of the winner, so I did. I won't reveal the surname, save to say it ends in 'v'. I was much more intrigued by the county which they gave as "Surrey, Greater London", despite the fact that Surrey and Greater London are administratively distinct. Everything points to the winner being a Sutton resident with 'Surrey' merely part of the postal address, not district of residence. I wonder how many times they'll bother to go.
Fri 25: To celebrate living in my flat for 25 years I went out and bought a new paper lampshade to replace an aged paper lampshade, and wow that's brightened up the room.

Sat 26: In excellent news, the card reader on the southbound platform at Bow Church station now beeps again. I had been told it was muted so as not to annoy neighbouring residents, but the silence also annoyed loads of passengers who weren't sure if their card had been read or not. In equally good news, while I was in Spain someone wiped off the layer of white muck that had obscured the display for months, hurrah.
Sun 27: Went to Harrow to buy next year's diary from Ryman, like I always do. Was shocked to see the shop had closed and was being turned into a Wingstop! Thankfully they've opened a new store across the arcade, and blimey it looks unnervingly modern inside. My farewell line "see you next year" always gets a laugh.
Mon 28: Back in March the evil accountants at Cadbury reduced the number of bars in a Double Decker multipack from 9 to 7, which was essentially a 29% price rise overnight. In unexpected news they've just changed the number again, but this time up from a 7-pack to an 8-pack. It still costs £3 so that's 14% cheaper, hurrah (but still 13% dearer than last year, boo). Sometimes it seems shrinkflation goes the other way.
Tue 29: Further signs of gentrification in Stroudley Walk - the back of the phone booth is displaying an advert for Waitrose. (also, credibly cool cafe Posted has just reopened after a 15 month 'temporary closure', hurrah)
Wed 30: I have managed to unlock the PIN to my debit card, phew, and it only took three visits to Santander branches to spot the special button off the edge of the cashpoint homescreen. (if you ever want a Santander with no queue, try Cheapside)

Unblogged September 28th

2026-09-29T07:00:00.000+01:00

30 unblogged things I did on September 28th

Mon 28: When I went to make my first cuppa of the day the tap spluttered to life, suggesting the water supply had been off overnight, but thankfully it powered back into action and I got my hot mug.
Mon 28: Annoyed that it took me four goes to guess today's Daily Metro, I should definitely have got it in three.
Mon 28: [gets on scales] A month ago I mentioned I'd put on three pounds during my holiday in Spain and it hadn't shifted. It still hasn't, indeed the last time I weighed this much was April 2020. I've decided not to buy any chocolate biscuits in Tesco this morning to see if that helps.
Mon 28: My blogpost on Reading's Bayeux Tapestry has been picked up by the Hacker News aggregator portal and as a result has had thousands of extra readers. Amongst the comments are the inevitable "As an aside, I see that this blog has been around from early 2000s, and has been regularly updated, almost every day. Quite fascinating...", also "Jesus, you're not wrong. Click any random month from the last 20 years and there's a post from practically every day", also "Out of interest, how do people find these 'hidden gem' sites? I'd never find these from google".

Mon 28: I think that's a record for "the number of bikes I've seen ignoring the traffic lights at the Bow Roundabout over a ten second period", easily double figures.
Mon 28: They've moved the mushrooms again, I wish they'd stop moving the mushrooms.
Mon 28: Managed to pick up the only cucumber that didn't have a barcode on it, had to get help.
Mon 28: Ah, the till wants my PIN number. Bugger I've got it wrong, maybe I mistyped. Bugger I've got it wrong again, maybe I got it round the wrong way. OK, I can't afford to get it wrong again, I'm sure it's this... bugger I've got it wrong again. Thankfully I had cash in my wallet, otherwise I'd have had to leave £40 of groceries behind.
Mon 28: I think that's the first time I've ever carried five bags home from the supermarket.

Mon 28: My building society won't let me check my PIN number online, I can only do that in their app, which I don't have. Thankfully I keep a lot of paperwork, including the letter my building society sent me in 2018 with my card's new PIN number, the one they told me I should definitely destroy. Yes that's what I thought it was.
Mon 28: According to the Royal Mint, their new six-colour 50p piece is "the first time Cluedo has been honoured on an official UK coin". Well of course it is you greedy desperate money-grabbers, of course it is.
Mon 28: You don't have to guess where the 'tower and two trains' picture was taken. Every photo on diamondgeezer has alt text if you hover over it.

Mon 28: The local company that used to be called Jim'll Mixit, and is now just Mixit, has flyposted adverts on the hoardings that still surround the derelict gents lavatory at Bow Church.
Mon 28: If'd you'd looked before you pressed the button you'd have seen there was no traffic coming so could have crossed anyway. Now the lights are going to change pointlessly in maybe 15 seconds time and inconvenience drivers, unnecessarily increasing transport entropy.
Mon 28: Oh god it's the 9.45am nightmare of an entire class of schoolchildren piling into your train carriage, and suddenly that's every seat taken and several small hands clutching the pole beside you. But in this case the teachers are totally on top of things, the children are perfectly behaved and I hope they had an excellent visit somewhere in the Westminster area.
Mon 28: Why do stations in west London have flower stalls outside while stations in east London never do? [rhetorical]

Mon 28: There are adverts all over the tube for a new TfL campaign with the strapline 'The stop is just the start'. Apparently it's supported by "a multi-channel roll out across TV, OOH, cinema, social, print, digital and CRM", and agency VCCP reckon it's "by far and away some of the best work we've ever done with TfL". But I'm not sure how effectively the main message is going to hit home. “We needed to give people an emotional connection to the network that feels inspiring and inviting. By showing that every bus, Tube, train or tram stop is just the start of a new adventure or connection, we’re reminding Londoners that TfL is the key to getting out and truly experiencing the city.” I was thinking of writing a whole post about it but it's not really interesting enough.

Mon 28: Got on a Richmond train at Earl's Court because five minutes ago it had said the next train was to Wimbledon and I failed to notice they'd switched platforms. Was punished for my error when the smelly man opposite took off his shoes.
Mon 28: On the bus we passed the All England Lawn Tennis Club, its 42 acres mostly inert because it's out of season. What a waste of land this is for eleven months of the year, flowering for just one. And I wondered if there are any other examples of enormous tracts of land used only briefly, seasonally, that could potentially be housing instead.
Mon 28: On my Superloop journey across Sutton I listened to an interesting Radio 4 documentary about the 1976 IMF crisis. I think I was too young to understand it at the time. Denis Healey comes out of it quite well and only says 'silly billy' once.
Mon 28: Picked up a London Heritage Quarter walking map at London Bridge station, which isn't even in the London Heritage Quarter, and just like Midtown the name's never going to catch on is it?
Mon 28: During today's journey round London I've managed to read 80% of a best-selling hardback thriller. That's annoying because the remaining 20% isn't going to sustain me on tomorrow's journey so I'll need to take two books.

Mon 28: It's 25 years since I sold my car, which is perhaps just as well now the price of a litre of diesel has reached a record-breaking £2. It was 79p back then.
Mon 28: If I keep chucking things out at this rate, I'm going to have to buy some more bin bags.
Mon 28: It may not be normal to have mint sauce on fish but that's one of the benefits of living by yourself.
Mon 28: I only checked my spam email because it's was a plot point in a soap opera, otherwise I might never have seen your message about the Letraset I sadly don't have.
Mon 28: I enjoyed watching the first episode of Michael Palin's new travel documentary on Channel 5, in which he travels across the nefarious inequality of the Philippines archipelago. He has a knack of illuminating both the good and bad sides of an unfamiliar country without appearing judgemental. Nobody else would get a tour of the presidential palace simply because the president wanted to ask a question about the Fish Slapping Dance.

Mon 28: Disappointed that nobody left a comment pointing out that if Flamsted Avenue in Tokyngton really is named after a west Hertfordshire village, they spelt it wrong.
Mon 28: Excited to report that the naff Brent climate change video I linked to yesterday has had 40 extra views, on top of the 163 it had in the first 15 years.
Mon 28: Please don't leave a comment telling me that PIN Number is an example of Redundant Acronym Syndrome. I know it is but I chose to write it anyway, just like I sometimes deliberately write less when you'd prefer me to write fewer, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter.

T is for Tokyngton

2026-09-28T07:00:00.000+01:00

LONDON A-Z
T is for Tokyngton

For my 20th unsung suburb I'm off to a classic of the genre, a true "where on earth is that it sounds ridiculous why have I not heard of it before?" And yet it's a substantial neighbourhood in a world famous location, as a large white arch attests, also real enough to appear on official yellow fingerposts so it definitely exists, QED.

Tokyngton is essentially the area due south of Wembley Stadium, which residents can't easily get to because there's a railway in the way. It's bounded to the east by the River Brent, to the south by the Bakerloo line and to the west by Wembley town centre. The name means 'the farm of the sons of Toca' and was first recorded in the 12th century, with a chapel and manor house following in the 13th and 14th. Tokyngton Manor's estate once stretched as far as Kingsbury and Kilburn, later contracting into Oakington Farm, an arable concern covering 300 acres. Even by the start of WW1 the sole buildings in the area were the farm and its gatehouse on the Harrow Road, after which a magic wand was waved and 2500 homes appeared instead, so comprehensively that almost nothing's been built in Tokyngton since WW2. It pretty much all looks like this.

This is Oakington Manor Drive, one of the estate's major spine roads, lined by endless semis and run-together semis which look like they've come straight from the Metro-land handbook. The impetus to develop the land instead came from a different railway, the Chiltern Main Line, which carved through in 1906 only narrowly avoiding the farm buildings. The lord of the manor then sold his land to Wembley council with the intention of developing a ‘garden city’ estate, stipulating that the former farmstead should become the heart of its main park. You might even want to use it as a library, he said, but they disagreed and by 1939 the part-Tudor building was so dilapidated that the ARP used it for air raid practice and destroyed it with explosives. You'd never get away with that today.

The site of the manor house is now occupied by Tokyngton Community Centre, a lowly hut that's home to a Montessori school during the week and Destiny House International at weekends. The remainder of the triangular park is easily large enough for kickabouts, basketball and supposedly a substantial wildflower meadow, although it's impossible to confirm the latter in September. Amusingly the football area has been bedecked with pictures of England captains, just in case the sight of Wembley's arch immediately behind isn't sufficiently inspirational. Step away from the trees and the elevated location offers views of a distant skyline including Hampstead, the BT Tower and the Shard, so it's easy to imagine how this might have been a strategic summit in medieval times. And yet on my visit there was absolutely nobody else here, only latecomers heading into church, because old school recreation can no longer compete with the brazen commercialism on offer immediately across the railway line at Wembley Park.

But mostly Tokyngton looks like this. Broad avenues, bay windows, Mock Tudor gables, sloping tiles, shrubbery, off-road parking, satellite dishes, extended porches, occasional pebbledash and house after house after house. The pattern is broken only a lofty redbrick church added in 1933, a primary school surrounded by a ring of back gardens and a health centre where the library used to be. The street past St Michael the Archangel is wider than all the rest, while further downhill one short street is actually called Wembley Way. Signs of life include a pile of lager cans on Park View suggesting some serious drinking went down last night, also padding cats, also pensioners from the subcontinent heading home with spicy shopping. Brent has Britain's highest proportion of residents born outside the UK and Tokyngton ward is comfortably above the borough average, such is Wembley's demographic transition since these streets were laid.

Tokyngton's eastern perimeter is marked by a half-mile linear park, through which flows the culverted River Brent. Originally the top end was called Tokyngton Recreation Ground and the lower end Monks Park but it's all since been rebranded as Brent River Park. One information board at the southern end includes my favourite excruciating outdoor cartoon, a six-panel account of a video about wind power and climate change made by a local youth group in 2011. The vinyl's peeling slightly now but most of the speech bubbles are alas still legible ("I'm So Excited To Meet The Brent Youth Volunteers And This River Park Is The Perfect Place", "It's Great To Reuse These Plastic Bottles And Create Mini Wind Turbines" "Have You Heard About The London Array?"). The final panel includes an exhortation to watch their video on YouTube, which I see has only had 163 views in the last 15 years, and rarely I have seen something so well-meaningly pointless.

The sole pre-20th century survivor hereabouts is the Harrow Road, still a key northwestern artery and still undulating up towards New-Wembley-Flats-on-the-Hill. The manor's former gatehouse is long gone, its location marked by a very short row of shops that goes grilled chicken/betting shop/minimarket/launderette. Tokyngton's main shops fill a typically 30s parade closer to the North Circular, bookended by a ghost sign for a shoe shop that must have moved out decades ago. Amidst the usual takeaways are specialists in Pakistani, Afghan and Goan cuisine, also two Brazilian butchers and a shisha cubbyhole. Apparently a lot of people call this end Monks Park rather than Tokyngton, or even Stonebridge Park given that's what the adjacent Bakerloo line station is called.

Tokyngton's sole tall building can be found here beside the dual carriageway, a 22-storey 1960s office block called Wembley Point. It's since been rebranded Wem Tower, now that what it contains is 439 contemporary micro-apartments as part of a "new vertical living concept", not that open plan hutches and high service charges are especially original.

A separate stripe of Tokyngton runs south of Harrow Road, hemmed in on the far side by the Wembley Brook and an enormous rail depot. Its main spine road is called Tokyngton Avenue and looks just like the rest of the neighbourhood except slightly more downmarket, suggesting it got built second. Here the semis run together in fours or sixes, the gables aren't quite so angled and the builders didn't try quite so hard with the bay windows. Nine of the sidestreets are named after west Hertfordshire towns and villages (Aldbury, Berkhamsted, Bovingdon, Flamsted, Gaddesden, Nettleden, Northchurch, Tring and Wiggington) but my favourites are the two that aren't. These are Sylvia Gardens and Derek Avenue, a dated pair that conjure up unanswered questions every time I see them. Who were Sylvia and Derek, were they married, were they perhaps related to the builder or developer and did they ever see themselves immortalised in an address? Answers on a postcard please.

It may not be the most thrilling of suburbs but one thing binds all of Tokyngton together and that's living in the Wembley Stadium events parking zone. Signs on every street warn that only permit holders can park here between 10am and midnight on event days, otherwise you risk being towed away. Residents can buy up to three permits per household, they cost £15 and are valid for 15 years. Obviously the system's gone paperless, but if you insist on paying by cash you can turn up at the car pound in North Wembley and hand over your notes there. Currently the only event days on the list are 2nd October for England v Czechia and 16th October for the arrival of the Jacksonville Jaguars, but it's up to you to check. It's not just the white arch that looms over Tokyngton, so does the intermittent inability to park outside your own house.

Turnpike Drive

2026-09-27T07:00:00.000+01:00

n.b. This is not today's intended post, but I didn't manage to get to the seaside yesterday.

Yesterday I found myself in Pratt's Bottom, the most hilarious of Bromley's outlying villages. It has a pub called The Bull's Head, a church called All Souls, a short parade of shops including World of Sewing and a bus every hour and a quarter. It's also unusual in that part of the village is in London and part isn't, thanks to suburban development whose boundaries didn't matter so much when all this was Kent.

Specifically I found myself in Turnpike Drive, a postwar cul-de-sac set back parallel to the main Sevenoaks Road. And what's really unusual about Turnpike Drive is that some of its residents live in London and some live in Kent. There are hardly any cul-de-sacs with London and non-London residents, even though the Greater London boundary is over 250 miles long.

The entrance to the cul-de-sac is in Kent. The road it bears off is called Stonehouse Road, which beyond this point is private and has a sign to tell you so. It has houses called Cobblecroft, Colts Wood and Copperkins, whereas Turnpike Drive just has numbered bungalows, 36 in total. Seven of these are in Kent and the remainder are in Bromley, that's how divided this cul-de-sac is. I checked and it does indeed have two bin days, the Kent end every Friday and the Bromley end every other Monday.

Here's the London end and you can see how generic the bungalows are. Nothing particularly changes up this end, the lampposts are still the same and the pavements are similarly paved, also I suspect if you hang around long enough the same number of curtains twitch. But numbers 5 to 31 all have a Labour mayor while 1-4 and 32-34 are overseen by a Reform county council because lines on maps matter and this one splits the street.

The reason for the divide is an old footpath which once cut diagonally across the field that used to exist here. On one side was Orpington Urban District and on the other side Sevenoaks Rural District, or at least it was in the 1950s when Turnpike Drive was built. The footpath survives as a signposted bridleway, arriving up an alleyway between 6 and 7 and continuing down another alleyway between 31 and 32. If you've ever walked the Green Street Green Circular Walk you'll have crossed Turnpike Drive about halfway round, and if you haven't you've probably never been.

n.b. There was once a turnpike at Pratt's Bottom, it being a waypoint on the main road from London to Hastings, now the A21. But Turnpike Drive isn't on the site of the turnpike, that was nearer to the Esso garage, so it's not particularly well named.

I wondered precisely how rare a part-London cul-de-sac was, so I scanned all around the Greater London boundary to see how many I could find. I make it three. Here's another.

This is Mountview in Northwood, 30 miles away on the opposite side of the capital. It's a short cul-de-sac of 22 houses just south of NATO's Allied Maritime Command at Northwood Headquarters. Again it started out as a field crossed by an ancient footpath, originally left empty when the avenues of Metroland were built all around. Then in the 1960s a small enclave of more upmarket houses was squeezed in, the boundaries of the site forcing the road to start in London and end in Hertfordshire.

There are thus nine properties in the London borough of Hillingdon before the cul-de-sac bends across the boundary to service 13 homes in the district of Three Rivers. Again bin days are different, the Hillingdon houses weekly on a Monday and the Herts houses fortnightly on a Tuesday. There is another split cul-de-sac a little further west along Eastbury Avenue, that's Little Stream Close, but all the houses are at the Hertfordshire end so that doesn't count for today's purposes.

The third split cul-de-sac is Grovewood Place, Woodford IG8. Here five of the 26 houses are in London and the rest are in Essex. I don't have a photo of that, sorry, I just happened to have the Northwood one from a previous post.

There are perhaps 20 cul-de-sacs where the London boundary is at the beginning, not in the middle, so either everyone lives inside the capital or everyone lives outside it. These include Amanda Close in Hainault, Audley Drive in Hamsey Green, The Coppice in Joydens Wood and Gable Close in Dartford.

But I believe there are only three cul-de-sacs where some residents can vote for London's Mayor and some can't.

• Turnpike Drive (Pratt's Bottom BR6): 29 homes London, 7 homes Kent [81%/19%]
• Mountview (Northwood HA6): 9 homes London, 13 homes Herts [41%/59%]
• Grovewood Place (Woodford IG8): 5 homes London, 21 homes Essex [19%/81%]

And Turnpike Drive in Pratt's Bottom is the Londoniest of the lot.

update
» Stonehouse Road, the aforementioned private road adjacent to Turnpike Drive, is another split cul-de-sac with 9 out of 50 homes in London and the rest in Kent.
» By using the Wayback Machine I've unearthed a copy of the 1991 Boundary Commission report which considered realigning the boundary between Bromley and Kent. It concluded that the entirety of Turnpike Drive and Stonehouse Road should be united in Bromley, even following strong objections from Kent County Council, Sevenoaks District Council, Halstead Parish Council and local residents. However by the time plans were finalised in a 1993 Act of Parliament the changes had been substantially downgraded to "minor realignments in the vicinity of Stonehouse Road, Sevenoaks Road and Turnpike Drive", hence the two cul-de-sacs remain divided.
» Oaks Way (Surbiton) wasn't strictly a cul-de-sac so I've removed it from the list.

Liveblog 260926

2026-09-26T07:00:00.000+01:00

Liveblog 260926 (with hourly updates)

07:00 I have woken up and brewed a cup of tea.
08:00 I have bought a newspaper and am off to catch a train to the seaside.
08:15 I am at the ticket office trying to buy my ticket. I want to use a Delay Pay Rail Travel Voucher to pay most of the fare. The man behind the counter tries scanning it several times, also asks his colleague for advice, also looks in his folder for advice, also rings someone up for advice, also the colleague tries to scan it at her terminal instead, thereby holding up the queue for five minutes, but everything fails to apply the discount.
08:20 OK, I'll try at another station.
08:40 I am a different ticket office trying to buy my ticket. I still want to use a Delay Pay Rail Travel Voucher because otherwise it'll cost four times as much. The woman behind the counter tries tapping all sorts of things on her terminal, thereby holding up the queue for five minutes, but everything fails to apply the discount.
08:45 OK, I give up.
09:00 I am back home with a cup of tea, having failed to catch a train to the seaside.
10:00 I have applied for a refund for my travel voucher, but it's all a bit late now.
-----END-----

Bow Roundabout update #25

2026-09-26T06:00:00.000+01:00

Bow Roundabout update #25

Last week I told you that a wedge of raised tarmac on Stratford High Street had been removed, immediately adjacent to the contraflow beneath the flyover that's never been opened. "All it needs now is a repaint," I said.

Well, that repaint has now happened. I know it may not look like it because the arrow and hatched area are still visible, but unwanted white lines are hard to get rid of.

Previously all eastbound traffic leaving the Bow Roundabout was funnelled into a single lane, leaving space for a contraflow on the right. We now have two eastbound lanes helping traffic flow faster, and as a result the contraflow lane has ceased to exist.

Previously the eastbound lane and contraflow were separated by a double white line but that's been erased and replaced by a single dashed line instead. This stretches all the way up to Marshgate Lane, beyond which it was always two eastbound lanes anyway.

This all sounds great but there are three catches:
i) Bus Stop W at Marshgate Lane is undergoing lengthy roadworks, so a few metres further on all traffic has to funnel down to one lane to get past. The kerfuffle includes "kerbing and paving works, bus island construction, cycle lane construction, resurfacing and temporary island removal" and is expected to continue for another month.
ii) Newham council are planning some sort of bus priority project along Stratford High Street. This might well mean the left-hand lane is nabbed for buses only, leaving just one lane for all other traffic again.
iii) Removal of the contraflow lane may only be an 18 month trial implemented via an Experimental Traffic Management Order, after which Newham will make a decision either to revert or "to convert to legal permanency".

But it does look ever more certain that the contraflow lane is dead and the new road under the flyover will never open, despite having been built at great expense, thus everyone who dug it, fitted traffic lights to it and paid for it has completely wasted their time.

Previous updates: #0 #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22 #23 #24

Well done TfL

2026-09-26T05:00:00.000+01:00

Subservient transport news

TfL sent out nine press releases this week which I shall now present in a grovelling subservient way, just as the PR team intended.

🚧 The Gallows Corner flyover has fully reopened to traffic following major refurbishment work. "Major strengthening and refurbishment work ensures the flyover can continue serving Londoners for years to come." Well done TfL, only twelve months late, what an excellent job you've done.

🚡 London Cable Car cabins will be illuminated in pink and blue on 14th October as TfL partners with the Footprints Baby Loss charity to host a special remembrance and awareness event for Baby Loss Awareness Week. "Families will also have the chance to ride the cable car for a quiet moment of reflection above the River Thames." Well done TfL, where better?

🚽 Additional funding is being provided to enable the building of 53 more new toilet buildings for bus drivers over the next three years. "Six bus routes do not currently have toilet facilities at either terminus so TfL is accelerating plans to install toilet facilities at one terminus as a priority." Well done TfL, more Turdises on our streets.

🛗 A new entrance at King's Cross St Pancras tube station is providing a new step-free access route on the south side of Euston Road. "The new entrance highlights the success of the public and private sectors working together to improve transport accessibility." Well done TfL, you've spent as little as possible here.

🚲 Santander Cycles are offering half-price Monthly Passes to mark World Car Free Day. "Customers can redeem the discount using the promotional code CFD26 from 00:00 on Tuesday 22 September until 23:59 on Sunday 27 September". Well done TfL, the £10 saving is for new subscribers only.

🚇 A key milestone has been reached as TfL announces it intends to award the contract for upgrading South Kensington station to Costain. "The first work on site is planned to take place before the end of the year in a currently unoccupied retail unit at 34 Thurloe Street, and will last for approximately eight weeks." Well done TfL, only five years until this hopefully opens.

🚊 The first consultation is now open on proposals for a new London Overground rail service linking Hendon and Hounslow. "The consultation gives residents, businesses and stakeholders the opportunity to learn more about the proposals and help shape the development of the scheme." Well done TfL, none of the questions are about what the line should be called.

🌻 The winners in TfL's hotly-contested annual gardening competition have been announced. "Barking Train Crew Accommodation were crowned the Best Seasoned entry," "Hammersmith Grove Road Service Control Centre were triumphant in the Cultivated Gardens (depot) category." "Park Lane depot, Marble Arch was named Best Newcomer". Well done TfL, the public will never see several of these.

🚌 Transport for London has unveiled a trailblazing publicly-owned bus company, along with plans for its first operational base at Park Royal Depot. "TfL has also confirmed that route 6 will be the first service to operate under the new name when 'Buses for London' launches in late 2027." Well done TfL, five publicly-owned bus routes by the end of 2028, that'll be gamechanging.

Kew Gardens

2026-09-25T07:00:00.000+01:00

A Nice Walk: Kew Gardens (1 mile)

Sometimes you just want to go for a nice walk, nothing too taxing, oodles of horticultural variety, outstanding architecture, glamorous vistas, top quality sculpture, regular refreshment opportunities, all continents included, occasional carnivorous plants, contour-free, royally approved, directly on the Heathrow flightpath, a bit of a stroll, won't take long. So here's a mile across a World Heritage Site in Kew, potentially enough to make a day of it and a nice walk all the same. [map]

Kew Gardens has evolved since 1759 into possibly the world's finest botanical collection, now with over 50,000 species across 330 riverside acres. Getting in's not cheap so this might not be for you, but it's only £10 on Tuesdays for the rest of the year so technically an autumnal bargain. For this nice walk I'm essentially heading down the eastern side, parallel to Kew Road, starting near the Elizabeth Gate and ending near the pagoda. This means missing out on the Great Badger Sett, Redwood Grove, Lake Crossing, Rhododendron Dell and Kew Palace, but you can always meander that way on your walk back.

Let's start by the Alpine House, a thin glass wedge whose rockeries are packed with tiny resilient plants, one of which (the arum pictum) is currently flowering with a supposedly foul odour. Enjoy the many flowers because there aren't a lot left across the gardens, especially out of doors, as summer turns to autumn. Or let's start in the Carbon Garden, a new project opened last year and recognisable by a central weird wooden mushroom thing in the centre of some stripy beds. The idea is to educate and inform but my word it's dry, not just the favoured arid plants but also the information boards that even a school party seemed uninterested in. Or start at the Hive, a metal lattice sculpture that quietly buzzes, best experienced from inside and best photographed from underneath. Or start in the Kitchen Garden, the Evolution Garden or the Aquatic Garden, indeed just potter around awhile because they've tucked a lot of interest into this northeastern corner and we won't be coming back.

For a proper debut let's go inside the Princess of Wales Conservatory, a stepped glasshouse opened by Diana the day before her 6th wedding anniversary. It has ten temperature-controlled zones all accessed through swing doors, the humidity climbing noticeably as you enter the central tropics. Not only is it packed with ferns, cacti and all manner of leafy fronds, but it's also a top-class maze with multiple up-and-down passageways to explore. Head up and you should find real-life Madagascar, head down and you might find a really fat white fish swimming opposite the building's architectural awards. I will say it's less fun when a secondary school party is exploring all around you, then two teachers arrive with primary crocodiles wielding worksheets, so maybe best explore at the weekend (or after 3pm when their coaches have left).

Exit at the lower end by the Paolozzi sculpture, a half-cyborg mix titled A Maximis Ad Minima. They like their outdoor sculptures at Kew and it's especially blessed at present with two dozen chunky Henry Moores scattered around the place. The closest to here are three Upright Motives, but there'll be some far lumpier specimens as we continue, some even stand-underable. Cut across the lawn to find the Broad Walk, its 320m-long beds believed to be the longest herbaceous borders in the country. You could learn about taxonomy because they've all been planted in groups, or you could simply admire the plants (the monocots are still ablaze). But sorry about the Waterlily House, it's 175 years old so they're replacing all 1546 glass panes and improving step-free access so it's all behind hoardings 'til next spring, dammit.

Next on Kew's major maintenance list is the famous Palm House, a massive glasshouse the length of a football pitch which in 1848 was the world's first large-scale wrought iron structure. It's due to close next spring for five years of extensive renovation, indeed the gardeners have already shifted several specimens to large pots and removed a substantial number, leaving empty beds and deep holes. For now it's still possible to wander round the sweaty interior past a variety of towering stems, crossing continents in minutes and learning a lot of Latin names on the way. My favourite part remains the spiral staircase that climbs to a high walkway, one-way only, where you can explore the canopy in greater detail and also get a good idea of why ironwork maintenance might be a good idea. Visit soon or miss out on one of Kew's best bits until 2032.

The flower terrace between the Palm House and the lake is still looking spectacular, almost as if it's been designed to peak in mid-September after every other bed has faded. Aim for the tall brick tower that looks like an Italian campanile but is in fact a disguised chimney for the boilers that used to heat the Palm House. This is located by the Victoria Gate, the gardens' chief entrance from which the chuggy land train sets off every hour. Hordes of cultured white-haired types pour through the barriers here every morning, return for tea and cakes mid-afternoon and shop for cuttings before they go home. Rest assured the Henry Moore teatowels are hole-free.

The most interesting route to the next glasshouse is via the Mediterranean Garden. It's not entirely European, it covers anywhere with a Mediterranean climate, thus at present Chile is looking a lot dazzlier than California atop the mound. The temple in the centre with the Tuscan porticos was added by Queen Victoria in memory of her uncle William IV, and was erected within months of her accession. The Cherry Walk is six months off looking spectacular, but follow that and you'll reach the glass door at the near end of the Temperate House. In good news this has already been renovated, they finished in 2018, so is a sparkling receptacle for gum trees, tubers, cycads and hundreds of thankfully-labelled tall green things. Reading one board I leaned that some plants here are so rare that they could have been lost in a single landslide, and that only one specimen of New Zealand's Three Kings Vine survived the introduction of a few grazing goats. Inform, educate and entertain.

You could at this point deviate to the Treetop Walkway, a steel circuit erected high amongst the trees in 2008. There is a lift but I walked up all 108 steps before confirming that yes, you can see central London across the canopy and yes, even the horse chestnuts at Kew are suffering from premature leaf miner shrivelling. Or you could deviate in the opposite direction to the Galley of Botanical Art, although it's mostly full of Henry Moore collateral at present so not very flowery. Or there's the nearby Pavilion Bar and Grill, very much not one of the Garden's original buildings, where people tired of plant-spotting can settle with a ploughmans sharing platter or spend the equivalent of their entrance fee on a plate of fish and chips and a glass of white wine. But if you want to restrict your nice walk to one mile best not deviate, head straight on to the Far East.

The Japanese Landscape was completed in 1996 and the tea garden has to include a lot of signs saying Please Do Not Walk On The Gravel so visitors don't blunder through. Its centrepiece is the 16th century Gateway of the Imperial Messenger, although this is a four-fifths scale model created for the Japan-British Exhibition held at White City in 1910. Much more obvious is Kew's classic pagoda, a ten-storey landmark erected within a couple of years of the Gardens original opening and bedecked with 80 beautifully restored dragons. It's now under the management of Historic Royal Palaces and they charge £4.50 to climb to the top, this time with no lift so it could be a tiring end to your nice walk. And yes obviously I know none of you will ever follow this precise route, it's more an illustration of the riches to be had within a single mile at the absolute treasure which is Kew Gardens, now in its 267th year and still going strong.

» 8 Flickr photos (seven of which are not shown above)

Southbound Southbound Northbound Northbound

2026-09-24T07:00:00.000+01:00

Hey folks, welcome to the new channel!
TikTok's where it's at because video is boss, so let's do this.
Got an incredible one to start with, so lock in, like and subscribe.

I'm here at the new entrance to King's Cross St Pancras on Euston Road, south side.
It's so new nobody else has filmed this yet, yes it's well exclusive.
Already got a homeless bloke asleep by the lift but hey.

We're going on an amazing journey, I cannot lie A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.
We're going one stop south and then back south TO THE SAME STATION.
It's nuts but the tube is nuts, innit?

Look, we've come down to King's Cross platform 4 which is the Victoria line southbound.
Remember the 'southbound' thing because that's like the super-weird bit.
Let's hop on, the doors are closing, it's one stop south to Euston.

At Euston we go through this passage to the Northern line, straight across.
Look it says 'Northern line Southbound platform 6'.
But southbound is to King's Cross and hang on, haven't we just been there?

IT WAS SOUTHBOUND TO EUSTON BUT NOW IT'S SOUTHBOUND BACK TO KING'S CROSS.
Mind blown.
AND THERE'S MORE...

Let's go straight across the passageway to the other Northern line platform.
It says King's Cross back to Euston is northbound.
But it was southbound on the Victoria line, WTF IS HAPPENING HERE?

Now we're back to Euston for a simple cross-passage switch to the Victoria line.
It says Euston back to King's Cross is northbound.
But we just rode northbound to get here, so how can it be northbound to get back?!?!?!?!

To summarise...
From King's Cross to Euston is SOUTHBOUND on the Victoria line.
And Euston back to King's Cross is SOUTHBOUND on the Northern line.

From King's Cross to Euston is NORTHBOUND on the Northern line.
But Euston back to King's Cross is NORTHBOUND on the Victoria line.
They're toying with us!

If you check the tube map it looks like Euston isn't north or south of King's Cross.
It's basically west, obviously, and neither north or south.
But the tube map lies.

A proper geographic map confirms Euston is further south than King's Cross.
So the Victoria line is correct, it was correct all along.
And the Northern line is wrong, 100% wrong.

What's going on here is that all trains to Edgware and High Barnet are deemed 'northbound'.
It just happens that between King's Cross and Euston they're going south.
Definitely not north, anyway.

And all Northern line trains to Morden are deemed 'southbound'.
It just happens that between King's Cross and Euston they're going north.
And that's not the only place this happens.

• Angel → King's Cross: northbound Northern line trains are going south.
• Finchley Road → West Hampstead: northbound Jubilee line trains are going south.
• Kilburn Park → Queens Park → Kensal Green: northbound Bakerloo line trains are going south.
• Harrow-on-the-Hill → West Harrow → Rayners Lane: northbound Metropolitan line trains are going south.
• Tottenham Hale → Blackhorse Road → Walthamstow Central: northbound Victoria line trains are going south.

• Stratford → Leyton: eastbound Central line trains are going west.
• Newbury Park → Barkingside: eastbound Central line trains are going west.
• Hammersmith → Goldhawk Road: eastbound Hammersmith & City line trains are going west.
• High Street Kensington → Notting Hill Gate: eastbound District line trains are going west.
• Wimbledon Park → Southfields → Putney Bridge: eastbound District line trains are going west.
• Fulham Broadway → West Brompton: eastbound District line trains are going west.
• Canning Town → West Ham → Stratford: eastbound Jubilee line trains are going west.
• Park Royal → North Ealing: eastbound Piccadilly line trains are going west.
• Holborn → Russell Square: eastbound Piccadilly line trains are going west.

Really stupidly...
• Manor House → Arnos Grove and Southgate → Cockfosters: eastbound Piccadilly line trains are going west.
Riding through the last seven stations eastbound, six sections are in fact travelling west.

And stupidest of all...
• Aldgate → Notting Hill Gate: eastbound Circle line trains are going west.
That's FIFTEEN consecutive stations of wrongdirectionness, technically speaking.

But King's Cross and Euston are the only adjacent stations where two lines truly travel in opposite directions.
So if you ever get bored you can come down for the ultimate illogical ride.
Start on the Victoria line at King's Cross, keep going one stop, then cross the platform and ride back.

KX to Euston southbound, Euston to KX southbound, KX to Euston northbound, Euston to KX northbound.
Round and round and round forever.
In a ridiculous contrary loop.

Kew Palace

2026-09-23T07:00:00.000+01:00

Five of HRP's six royal palaces are in London. It costs £120 to visit them all.

Tower of London £37.00
Hampton Court Palace    £29.00
Kensington Palace £19.00
Banqueting House    £10.00
Kew Palace    £25.00
TOTAL £120.00

Take up HRP membership and you can get that down to £89.
But by playing the long game I've managed to visit the lot for less than £20.
I saved the most expensive until last.

Tower of London    £1.00
Hampton Court Palace £7.75
Kensington Palace    £0.00
Banqueting House £0.00
Kew Palace    £10.00
   TOTAL £18.75

Tower of London: £37 is pretty steep for a palace visit, even when it's an extra-special Norman fortress, and even more so if you stump up the cheeky £3.70 donation on top. But Tower Hamlets residents get to visit the Tower for £1 which is easily one of London's best deals, an offer I've taken up several times (2009/2015/2023).
Hampton Court Palace: Visiting Hampton Court is never cheap, but sometimes they do a half-price offer in the winter months and in 2015 I got the usual £15.50 down to £7.75. The price has almost doubled since.
Kensington Palace: In 2019 I had an Art Pass when that entitled you to free entry. These days it only entitles you to half-price entry when there's a temporary exhibition open.
Banqueting House: For Open House in 2003 they let us in for nothing (and gave us a damned good eight page booklet too).
Kew Palace: This is the odd one out because you can't just go in, you have to buy a ticket for Kew Gardens where it's one of the attractions within. And Kew Gardens isn't cheap, it's currently £25 a shot, and although that drops to £17 in winter Kew Palace only opens April to September. But for the rest of 2026 there's a special offer whereby admission is ONLY £10 EVERY TUESDAY and that is a bargain. Alas I got in on the last possible Kew Palace Tuesday so you can't follow me in.

Historic Royal Palaces: Kew Palace
Location: Kew Gardens, TW9 3AB [map]
Open: 11am-4pm (April - September)
Admission: as part of admission to Kew Gardens
Website: hrp.org.uk/kew-palace
Five word summary: the madhouse of King George
Time to allow: about an hour
photos: eight

When the Georges were on the throne, Kew was a much more important royal home. George II's eldest son Frederick enlarged an existing home into The White House, long demolished, then added a separate kitchen block behind to reduce the risk of fire. His children were educated in The Dutch House alongside, amongst them the future George III (and later his son George IV). This took on a greater significance when George III was confined here during his third and final mental health trauma, lured inside on a pretext then confined to the ground floor with his doctors. His wife Queen Charlotte moved in upstairs, also four of his 15 children, the princesses Augusta, Amelia, Elizabeth and Sophie. The Queen predeceased her husband, after which Kew was never again used by royalty, but Queen Victoria opened it to the public in 1898 and that is a ridiculously potted history of Kew Palace.

The palace is on the far side of the park where you might never notice it, although if you do drop into the Orangery for spinach curry the bright citrus of its distant facade might just attract your attention. It screams Dutch even from a distance, the rounded gables, the symmetry and even more the orange. Expect to be greeted at the door by staff in costume, perhaps a little tired of offering the same welcome and mini-safety briefing over and over again all summer. What you're getting for your 'no additional charge' is a walk round up-to-three of the floors, starting with a circuit of downstairs in the King's Library. A teensy scrap of 17th century decoration has been revealed on one wall, a human figure no larger than A4 size, which was revealed only after painstaking peeling. It's believed the pattern continues across the room so they'd love to uncover more, but it's underneath 37 subsequent layers of wallpaper and nobody has either the time or the money to remove the lot.

The King's Dining Room is where George III was served what his doctors told him to eat, like asparagus for his bowels and jellies to ease his stomach pains. The information boards are keen to point out that we shouldn't judge the man solely on health issues later in his 59-year reign, but unfortunately that's the era focused on here. Another room has mannequins representing the royal couple and their 15 children, sheesh, it seems poor Queen Charlotte did nothing much for two decades but be pregnant. Her suite of rooms is upstairs, starting with the boudoir where sewing, spinning and embroidery fended off the boredom of waiting for her husband to get better. The drawing room is nationally significant because it's here that two of the princes had emergency weddings to German princesses after George III's only grandchild died in childbirth. Edward's marriage lasted only two years before he too died, but that was long enough for Princess Victoria to be born and she'd go on to rule even longer than her grandfather.

Look they've stripped back one of the walls so you can see the original oak blocks used for construction in the 1630s. Look it's the chair Queen Charlotte died in, indeed never left for the last few months of her life, a comfy lowslung black number that apparently nobody's sat in since. Look the stairs to the second floor have been blocked off, this because it's nearly the end of the season and they just don't have the staff. And look there's a couple in full Indian dress dancing at the bottom of the garden, being filmed by two blokes from Eminence Cinema. It's a pleasantly compact garden, one half formal and Georgian, the other half sunken and Stuart, although a tower block across the Thames in Brentford spoils the skyline somewhat. And that's not all.

You could easily miss the small sign by some woodland inviting you to visit the palace kitchens but that would be a shame. At the far end is a well-tended kitchen garden and the offer of a half-hourly tour of the basement, which you should definitely take up. Here food was prepared for the White House and the Palace, so you get to go into the wet store (with actual meathooks), bakery (with actual ovens) and main kitchen (with actual table gouged by 18th century knife marks). The best part may be the huge fireplace where roasting meat was rotated automatically via a devious heat-powered spit, but is more likely the tin bath George III sat in while he endured hours of heat- or ice-treatment, this found stuffed up a chimney when the kitchens were restored in 2012.

You'd probably be happy to pay £10 for the combined attraction of a palace and a kitchen tour, so how brilliant that it's merely an add-on to all the other glories at Kew Gardens. Until Sunday.

500 things I love about London

2026-09-22T05:00:00.000+01:00

500 things I love about London
[because it's exactly twenty-five years since I properly moved here]

Life, nightlife, the sense of history, the Underground, the Overground, canalside strolls, the view from Greenwich Park, the fact there's always somewhere to discover, cutting-edge architecture, classical architecture, curvaceous Regent Street, the chimes of Big Ben, the 2012 Olympics, the Olympic Park, layers of history, nightbuses, world cinema, world cuisine, the world in a city, a Muslim mayor, London is Open, sunlight on the Thames, the museums in South Kensington, the museums that aren't in South Kensington, not needing a car, the unwobbly Millennium Bridge, the City's dragons, a bus stop within 400m, it's quicker to walk, being able to choose from more than two local radio stations, suburbia, Trellick, Balfron, step-free travel, spiralling to the top of Tate Modern, mudlarking, Hampstead, the view from Hampstead Heath, diversity, acceptance, mind the gap, strolling along the South Bank, Waterloo sunset, the view from the top of anywhere tall, low tide, festivals, the Royal Festival Hall, pavement swagger, ghost signs, ghost stations, sitting in the Radio 4 audience, Trafalgar Square, knowing that I could walk home from Trafalgar Square if I really had to, art-filled piazzas, 100% style, tracing a line on a map, taking the tram, realising that the person drinking next to me in the pub is a celebrity, the Woolwich ferry, Hammerton's Ferry, the plurality of alternative routes, St Pancras station, cultural gravity, the highest pod on the London Eye, lost rivers, not-yet lost rivers, walking up the escalator, decent mobile phone reception, clapping the Marathon, density of infrastructure, free newspapers, the last tube, cabbies' knowledge, memories embedded in every streetscape, anachronistic Routemasters, the tiles along the Victoria line, global landmarks, having a local library, taking a shortcut down a back street I've never walked down before, realising that Dr Johnson was right, scouting the rural outskirts, Hawksmoor, Soane, Holden, watching the dawn over Tower Bridge, watching twin bascules rise, Blue Badge guides, the forgotten corner of a Victorian cemetery, Big Brother houses, the Big Breakfast house, the West End, the East End, the Congestion Charge, 24 hour bagel shops, 24 hour supermarkets, culture on my doorstep, Banksy's animals, the original of that famous work of art, an unexpected rainbow, rainbow crossings, rainbow plaques, blue plaques, deckchairs in Green Park, Roding Valley, Ruislip Lido, the Embankment illuminated, eyeballing a famous person in the street, recognising where a film was shot, Riddlesdown, revisiting Nairn's London, the DLR, sitting at the front on the DLR, meeting up with mates, Totters Lane, 0° longitude, standing in two hemispheres, the City, parklife, knowing when your bus is coming, Citymapper, the Ceremony of the Keys, being alone under the Thames in a foot tunnel, greasy fry-ups, fast trains to the coast, the view from Primrose Hill, far less fog than everyone imagines, snow on terraced rooftops, a good service is operating on all lines, Covent Garden, yes they deliver, creative possibilities, the view from the front seat on the top deck of a bus, alleys, tunnels, the middle of Richmond Park, free-roaming deer, the Isabella Plantation in spring, being out at 4am, six home Premiership sides, a window seat on the Bakerloo, getting caught up in West Ham turfing out, street art, street food, Kenwood, an unexpected smile in the rush hour, the Gherkin, critical mass, Soho, pie and mash, Longplayer, the opportunity to pop into Parliament, street markets, lidos, late-openings, rooftop terraces, gasholders against a bright blue sky, Open House, speeding down the river beneath world famous bridges, bleak estuary strolls, film premières, Farthing Downs, Happy Valley, regular flypasts, garden squares, General Roy's cannons, gypsy tart from a Bexley bakery, not needing to drive home from the pub, pedestrian countdown lights, postcode identity, hyperlocality, Epping Forest, swiping my Oyster, pay-as-you-go, the smell of bacon from a Cabmen's shelter, undeveloped farmland, the Low Emission Zone, finding myself somewhere you've never been, Northala Fields, high streets that stay open after 5:30, art galleries that stay open after 6, still buzzing on a Sunday evening, always having something to do even when it's raining, Mornington Crescent, pocket parks, atypical roundels, characterful terraces, Denis Severs' House, the Apollo 10 command module, urban wildlife, a night at the dog track, outstaring a fox, Foyles, youthfulness, a nearby launderette just in case, streetlights at night, pounding the Loop, fireworks on Blackheath, the National, the Saatchi, the Serpentine, the Sales, spotting the City from the outskirts, suburbs pretending to be villages, actual proper unswallowed Kentish villages, anything that Bazalgette built, one hundred different burgers, the heat island effect, Remain, the Hainault loop, crossing Oxford Circus diagonally, cycle superhighways, living in a medieval village, Sister Ray, walking faster than the traffic, overtaking a jogger, Kew Gardens, standing inside the dome of St Paul's Cathedral, living in a city that tourists pay £100 a night to visit, not needing a hotel before catching the red-eye, Spitalfields, King's Cross, never needing to Uber, windmills, forest, hills, fields, Hilly Fields, Strawberry Hill House, the 4th plinth, Norway's gifted tree, the ex-Geffrye at Christmas, the top floor at the V&A, the Sultan's Elephant, gelateria, lavender fields, Limehouse to Little Venice, this not being Ipswich, following in Roman footsteps, stepcounter heaven, plane trees, grime, world-class design, becoming blasé at seeing herons, the Freedom Pass, New Johnston font, so many cinemas, still so many bookshops, wi-fi, 1908, 1948, E20, EL2, SL7, 5G, Zone 6, crossing Westminster Bridge at night on the back of a bike, the skyline at dusk, Eel Pie Island, do not touch the walrus, do not feed the pelicans, Beckton Alp, the Hoover Building, a sewing machine museum, a cattle grid, gridlessness, reaching the middle of Hampton Court Maze, long-term planning, wondering what the Turbine Hall will hold next, Golden Lane, the Golden Mile, anything you need within half an hour, if the local branch doesn't stock it ten others might, floating towpaths, legacy, Little Waitrose, Little Britain, international churn, the sheer variety of Theatreland, the contrast between Erith and Twickenham, nipping down to national celebrations, it's only a short dash to the country, every cuisine, knowing the ambulance will get here in time, the h Museum, arthouse pop-ups, brutalist symmetry, Myrtle Avenue, some pubs still aren't flats, free stuff-to-do every weekend, more than its fair share of new stuff, relevance, friends within walking distance, total lockdown variety, Bopeep, ABBA Voyage, Crossrail, Mail Rail, not having to get everything delivered, seeing the Crown Jewels for £1, kingfisher-spotting, towpath-treading, Carnival, being upstream of the Thames Barrier, not needing to consult a timetable, buildings Betjeman loved, fibreglass squirrels, an abundance of public sculpture, the backways of the Barbican, investment, easy walking, QEOP's premature daffodils, locals strutting the streets in their Eid finest, the diversity of bollards, spring tide overspill, Bethlem, casually bumping into Hollywood film crews, casually bumping into national treasures, mild urbex, properly local TV news, graffiti as art, 0171/0181 shopfronts, 071/081 shopfronts, 01 shopfronts, lost byways, decent-sized balconies, the Neasden Nature Trail, LWT, embracing a fare anomaly, History Trees, Rainham Hall, lunch in the Peers Dining Room, Postman's Park, Leinster Gardens, concentrated quirk, Knolly's Rose, Doggett's Coat and Badge, old manhole covers, the National Standard Kilogram, Dorich House, the many wows of Eltham Palace, the emptiness of Hacton, exploring City pedways, the ridge at Totteridge, two millennia of history, the Capital Ring, going against the grain, a hearse behind plumed horses, Low Traffic Neighbourhoods, the Greenway, the whiff of a city farm, subway art, Walthamstow Wetlands, river piers, Boroughs of Culture, any old street sign appended with a red postal district, Extinction Rebellion shaking the status quo, the NLA New London Model, Fullwell Cross Library, taking the spiral staircase down to the platform, the panoply of Royal Parks, William Morris, the Crystal Palace dinosaurs, ace-ing a Hopper, the Barbican conservatory, getting the Hampstead Pergola to myself, following the Effra plaques, Mr Benn in Festive Road, the Fæsten Dic, stand on the right, inexorable explorability, the Thames from Richmond Hill, tracing the Meridian, a feast of concrete, watching little planes take off, cherry blossom fortnight, red routes, 20mph limits, Waterloo freebies, being able to walk to a bookshop, immunity from Reform takeover, dropping into filming locations, never having to worry when bin day is, public toilet accessibility, livery halls, greyfield, Crossrail connections, Cockmannings, liminal pylons, Nine Elms Sunday Market, the Dulwich tollbooth, Dial A Ride (eventually), Bank's multiplicity of exits, Roger the Crocodile, Reggie Perrin's cul-de-sac, Horizon 22, Chelsea buns from the Kingshill Bakery, the Totteridge yew, taking tea in an Apprentice cafe, the Heathrow Biodiversity Site, pleasaunces, tube vents, the ever-expanding Superloop, jubilee clocktowers, the Brockley Three Peaks Walk, rotating at the top of the BT Tower, the Cheam Charter Fair, V&A East Storehouse, 575 Wandsworth Road, Rules, the Chelsea Physic Garden, finding a Roman wall in a car park, the Capitalcard poster at Leytonstone station, foreshore extensions, the revamped Crystal Palace Park, outrider-led motorcades, battery trains, living on the EastEnders map, the Boat Race, services at least half-hourly, a shop that just sells umbrellas, potential new towns, gelato, Borough Market, TfL Go, railway arches, weather records, London Centric, R8, the Bayeux Tapestry, Standard Gogen, hundreds of places that are 'officially' the world's best, debatable centres, Monopoly streets, the short queues at City Airport, Wilton's Music Hall, The Mousetrap, tubemice, central sheep, summer-long tattoo gallery, the British Library, the absence of cereal cafes, the pointlessness of Liberty, geotrails, my 60+ Oyster card, journey history, not being Slough, Myddleton House Gardens, Little Holland House, the ubiquity of escalators, taking the piss out of the Dangleway, Great West Road architecture, going deep into the earth, climbing high into the sky, living on airfields, an increasing number of drinking fountains, easy hills, ten Wimpys, eleven Tobys, Footpath 47, Greggs Outlet, glacial limits, Barbican's secret lift, all the buses, all the stations, all the postcodes, all the grid squares, Chucklehead (if it ever comes back), the Catford prefabs, urban backways, the view from Alexandra Palace, unique opportunities, eight hamlets, still having a local bank, the variety of borough streetsigns, whatever I want, anything I need, the anonymity of not knowing my neighbours, being one in nine million, collective consciousness, common ground, independence, invisibility, inspiration, togetherness, cosmopolitan coexistence, centrality, accessibility, the proximity of possibility, social autonomy, human availability, the fact it's not as scary as out-of-towners think it is, Metro-land, moquette, deserted Thames-side beaches, a 600 square mile playground, the buzz, infinite choice, the city's constant resilience, feeling alive, simply living here.

Open House 6

2026-09-21T07:00:00.000+01:00

Let's round off Open House with yesterday's final four visits.

Open House: Richmond Lock Building (Surrey Side) (Richmond) The Weired One
Open House: The Lock House, Richmond Lock & Weir (Twickenham) The Thin One

Sometimes spaces on heavily booked tours suddenly appear overnight, even on the day of the opening, thus I grabbed this one and changed my plans for the day. Richmond is the last lock on the Thames if heading downstream, and the only one owned and operated by the Port of London Authority. It was opened in 1894 to solve a problem created 60 years earlier when the old London Bridge was demolished, speeding up the flow of the river. This meant the upper tidal reaches between Teddington and Richmond became unnavigable for hours either side of low tide, hence an elaborate iron span was constructed with five arches and three rising sluice gates. An Act of Parliament requires river levels to be maintained at or above half-tide level, which is 1.72m, hence government permission has to be sought annually when they open the weir for autumn maintenance.

The footbridge across the top opens daily but you can't walk underneath, not unless you're a PLA employee. For Open House it was possible to do this on both banks because each end of the structure is supported atop a sturdy lockkeepers cottage and both of these were open. One is still in operational use, complete with big screens, tide tables and a kettle, while the other has been leased to an architectural practice called Astronaut Kawada. The long thin space has been beautifully kitted-out in white with drawings and models on display, plus a well placed mirror to make it look longer. Dean's desk is perfectly placed to have the lock span over his right shoulder, far better than any screensaver, while the view from the entrance is of the weir side-on in perfect symmetry. If you have a small boat you can lug it over the rollers here for free.

The actual lock itself is adjacent to the Surrey bank and is 76m long and 8m wide so can take much larger craft. It's needed when the weir gates are raised, a mechanism you can watch up close from the footbridge roughly two hours before and two hours after high tide. We were instead fortunate enough to be able to watch a boat pass through, admittedly a small one but it wasted the same amount of upstream water all the same. To admit them Mason the lockkeeper pressed a button to open the lock gates, then closed them, then wandered round to the mooring chains carrying a big fishing net. What on earth does he need that for, we thought, and were both amused and surprised when he lowered down a white plastic card reader so the boatowner could pay his contactless toll charge. It costs £5 for non-commercial craft to pass through the lock, down from £12 last year, which also covers a return journey on the same day. I presume the same net method is used to collect notes.

They've had a tough year at Richmond Lock, first with too much water passing through thanks to high winter rainfall, then insufficient water thanks to summer drought. They're still suffering from low flow so the weir's currently raised for longer than normal, also they try to double up boats through the lock which helps maintain the statutory minimum level at all times. Climate change is expected to bring additional challenges, thus managing the lock/weir combo is a lot to keep on top of and not just an open and shut case. I had been hoping the tour would go further than just the dockside (we didn't even get to cross the lock gates), also a lot of what was said was drowned out by regular planes on the Heathrow flightpath directly overhead. But always keep an eye on the Open House listings because sometimes some proper last minute treats pop up.

Open House: Central Hill Estate (Crystal Palace) The Stepped One

It's always good to walk round a postwar council estate on a tour led by a resident, so this year I headed to the Central Hill Estate which hugs 17 acres of sloping land near Crystal Palace. It's lovely and woody at the top, rather less so at the bottom, and considered an acclaimed high-density low-rise estate. It is however in the London borough of Lambeth and they've historically had a feral bloodlust for redeveloping their older council estates, which must be why the introductory talk didn't start with a potted history but instead a lengthy gripe about the sneaky tactics that had been used to vacate tenants and let the fabric of the estate decline. And yet despite a demolition order passed in 2017 no flats have yet been pulled down, mostly thanks to the dogged stubbornness of the residents, which echoed everything I'd heard on an Open House tour of Cressingham Gardens a few years ago.

The tour of the site lasted almost two hours, much of it pointing out lovely things, pointing out bad things and responding to questions. Look at these gorgeous mature trees, there's no reason for these boarded-up homes to be empty, we had a decent basketball court here but then they built a playground in the middle of it, I had to push to get these bricks replaced, we used to have a community centre but they closed it, this neighbourhood was low-traffic even in the 1960s, imagine what you could use this nuclear bunker for, these modern flats in the corner are pretty shoddy, we first guessed something was up when they chopped down all the trailing ivy, etc etc. Near the end we also got to look inside one of the maisonettes which was fairly spacious for a 3-bedder, even if it didn't have the stunning views across London the upstairs neighbour enjoyed.

Only a miracle it seemed could turn around Lambeth's blinkered purge, and unbelievably that may have happened earlier this year and be consolidated at a council meeting next month. The Green Party took control of Lambeth council in May, ousting a 20-year Labour administration. One of their new councillors was Pete Elliott, a former Central Hill resident who's been running the Open House tour for years and been highly outspoken on the subject. He's now the Cabinet member responsible for Housing and suddenly in charge of the process that previously evicted him from his home. Making changes is difficult when you've a restricted budget and inherited debt, but the council is now working with residents rather than against them and it's anticipated demolition status will be reversed. Miracles do happen, but you have to vote for them.

Open House: Kingswood House (Sydenham) The Bovril One

I've been meaning to look inside this utter anomaly for years and it didn't disappoint. First there was Kingswood Lodge, owned by the solicitor who foiled George IV's plan to divorce his wife Caroline of Brunswick. In 1891 John Lawson Johnston moved in, the inventor of Bovril, having spotted that cubes of beef extract were easier to send to market than the cattle themselves. He extended the house and added chunky battlements, also Scottishifying the interior. In 1921 another meat baron took up residence, namely Sir William Vestey (who was responsible for the Dewhurst chain and a massive shipping empire). After WW2 the building's importance slumped when 'Bovril Castle' was turned into a council library, and since 2020 it's become a bookless arts venue with cashflow issues. They told this amazing backstory in far more detail on the tour.

About 50 of us were led jovially round the building, starting in the entrance hall where the house's surviving tapestries haven't quite faded. The Great Hall has true Scottish baronial style, including full wood panelling and an anachronistic minstrels gallery, thus must have been an amazing space to seek out the latest library books. Children instead renewed their Julia Donaldsons in the billiard room. The Jacobean Room is named for its decorative plaster ceiling inlaid with noble symbolism, while the Palm Court is no longer frond-filled but retains a classic airiness. We didn't get upstairs because they were hosting a children's party up there, but that's a working venue for you.

When Camberwell council took control of Kingswood House in the 1950s they surrounded it with a fairly basic council estate, much to the horror of nearby Dulwich residents. It thus remains a shock to see this battlemented castle sitting incongruously amid municipal blocks opposite a very lowly shopping parade, especially if climbing up out of Sydenham Hill station. Thankfully the arts centre has established itself at the heart of its community with a cafe, classes and wedding availability, also a free meal served every Tuesday evening from 6.30pm should you be feeling lonely and/or hungry. I don't think they serve beef very often, nor is yeast extract on tap, but a fine bunch of volunteers continue to keep Johnston's Bovril-funded creation alive.

» 40 Open House 2026 photos (across 24 properties, another year finally complete)

Open House 5

2026-09-20T07:00:00.000+01:00

Open House weekend two started with this motley quartet.

Open House: Trent Park: House of Secrets (Cockfosters) The Secret One

Here's London's newest museum, opened just three months ago in a former stately home amid parkland beyond Cockfosters. Trent Park has been a socialite's retreat, a wartime intelligence centre and a university campus, the new museum showcasing only the first two of these. I last went on a tour of the house in 2012 just before Middlesex University sold up and moved out, since when an alternative educational proposition has fallen through and Berkeley Homes have built some stonkingly expensive houses in and around the mansion. But they didn't apartmentalise the lower two floors which have become a £14 visitor attraction, an admission charge kindly waived for Open House. Also our tour guide was the museum's Director whereas normally you just wander round, so even more of a good deal than usual. [50 photos]

You start out on the ground floor in the world of Sir Philip Sassoon, aristocrat, cabinet minister and bon viveur. He bought Trent Park and fashioned it into an elegant country house surrounded by landscaped grounds, inviting a Who's Who of Thirties society to join him there. Charlie Chaplin signed into the visitors book with a comic squiggle (see display case in room two). The museum trust have gone to great lengths to deck out the first four rooms with the correct decor, either the actual items or top quality replicas, and having seen how the university left it (orange plastic chairs stacked in the corner, overhead projector affixed to the wall) have done an excellent job. The Chinese wallpaper in the saloon looks so much better now, almost like no students had ever brushed up against it.

One of the perks of a tour with the Director is that he can break off from the approved route, in this case out onto the back terrace where guests were once entertained. The view'll be better when the huge pile of earth on the former lawn has been turned into something prettier and you can finally see the lake again, which I suspect will especially please the tenants in the upstairs Berkeley apartments. Back inside the house the fourth and final period room is the library, this now laid out to tell the story of the dawn of WW2. Sir Philip missed out by dying three months beforehand, thus Trent Park was immediately available for the government to requisition and turn into a home for prisoners of war. Head through the secret door in the bookcase to find out how.

Lieutenant Colonel Thomas Kendrick had the brilliant idea of housing captured German generals here in relative luxury, then bugging the entire house so their conversations could be recorded. A team of transcribers worked shifts in the basement, many of them German-speaking Jewish refugees, listening out for careless talk and capturing it (seven minutes at a time) on acetate discs. Additional tricks included sending in fake Nazi sympathisers, sending the officers on fieldtrips and interrogating them really badly in the hope they'd boast about unspilled secrets afterwards. And it worked! Amongst the gamechanging information obtained was an early key to how Enigma machines worked (1940), how the Luftwaffe were targeting munition factories so accurately (1941) and the existence of a new fearsome weapon called the V2 (1943). Without Trent Park these fearsome rockets would have arrived months earlier, whereas instead the RAF were able to bomb the test site and save not just thousands of lives but also oodles of morale.

The second half of the museum is thus a walk back through the basement via a warren of compact spaces, learning the minutiae of the wartime story as you go. The Director abandoned us here to explore at our own pace, partly for reasons of space but also because I suspect he's a tad tired of the sausage factory of showing another 20 polite souls round exactly the same exhibits telling exactly the same story, fabulous story though it is. And after one last chance to take a selfie of yourself cutting a disc it's back up to the gift shop, circuit complete. It is essentially two museums in one which is always good value, plus there's the obligatory well-heeled cafe round the corner if you can't yet face the slog back to the tube station. Just be careful what you gossip about because you never know who's listening.

Open House: WilkinsonEyre (Shoreditch) The Dangleway's One

Another weekend another architects' practice, this time WilkinsonEyre who've recently moved to new premises near the Old Street roundabout. None of that hotdesking nonsense here because everyone gets their own dedicated space, also they've retrofitted with care, also they had members of staff taking visitors on brisk informative walkabouts which is quite the best way to do it. Oh, I thought on several occasions, you're the ones who did that... the Copper Box, Battersea Power Station, 8 Bishopsgate, those stands at Lord's, Stratford Market Depot, King's Cross's gasholders, the Crystal and even Boris's cablecar, and that's just within London. Apparently they have 80 staff right now working on the design for Old Oak Common, a station whose connective purpose hasn't even been agreed yet, but they have at least settled the sinuous form of the platform roof so expect to see a start on that next year.

Open House: 44 Monsell Road (Highbury) The Condensed One

It wouldn't be Open House without the opportunity to take off your shoes to walk round someone's home, usually an architect, invariably unorthodox. This year my barefoot venue of choice was a teensy shoddily-built Victorian box just round the corner from Arsenal station, known locally as the Blue House. Architect Edward Farleigh-Dastmalchi saw its potential and transformed it into a unique family home, essentially keeping only three wonky brick walls and cramming in an extra bedroom up top. You visit these places to pick up tips - how to create a garden terrace out of nothing, how to hide a washing machine behind your TV, how to source blinds for your skylights, that kind of thing - or else simply to be amazed at the creativity that makes 54m² seem positively spacious. Top tip, minimise your circulation space (or move way out of London, obv).

Open House: Plaistow Hub (Plaistow) The Nuclear One

Here's one of no importance unless you live in E13, in which case it's been transformational. A few small patches of underused land by the tube station have been repurposed by Newham council to create 182 new homes, one-third affordable, plus a range of other previously non-existent amenities. The key building is a 21-storey block of flats somehow squeezed in alongside the railway, now a towering landmark in the neighbourhood. We only got to visit a flat on the 10th floor but that offered fantastic views towards the Dartford Bridge, Canary Wharf and (from a completely different window) West Ham station and the City. I never thought I'd ever consider Plaistow to be scenic but from up here it somehow is. The building also contains an events room (hireable rather than communal) and a large first floor terrace overlooking the street (communal but empty).

At street level a new Station Square has been created, activated by a coffee shop and a Co-op, plus a brand new connecting staircase down to London Road which I give thanks for every time I pop round to see BestMate. Apparently the gym behind the supermarket has four storeys and is already the busiest in East London, which is perhaps a reflection on how little else there is to do in Plaistow. A separate residential building on the other side of the railway bridge is heavily constrained by the footprint of a passing sewer, and underneath contains a brand new Plaistow Library which should be opening within weeks. A nice touch is the palindromic ironwork on the staircase down to the playground, which is perhaps the maximum amount of whimsy a council-led project can condone. And I came on the tour because I've watched all this go up over the last few years, turning nothing much into a lively new civic focus, and sometimes it's nice to thank the architects first hand.