Elesa Hagberg

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Thu, 03 Apr 2025 22:45:00 +0000

All Quiet on the Western Front, by Erich Maria Remarque, narrated by Benjamin Fife

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Wed, 23 Oct 2024 16:59:00 +0000

The Lost Prince, by Frances Hodgson Burnett, narrated by Benjamin Fife.

In ebook and audiobook.

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Tue, 22 Oct 2024 16:58:00 +0000

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens, narrated by Benjamin Fife.

Audiobook Cover

Ebook Cover

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Fri, 09 Aug 2024 16:57:00 +0000

Thirteen Tales by H.P. Lovecraft, Volume 3. Narrated by Benjamin Fife.

Audiobook Cover

Ebook Cover

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Thu, 08 Aug 2024 16:56:00 +0000

Thirteen Tales by H.P. Lovecraft, Volume 2. Narrated by Benjamin Fife

Audiobook Cover

Ebook Cover

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Wed, 07 Aug 2024 16:56:00 +0000

Thirteen Tales by H.P. Lovecraft, Volume 1. Narrated by Benjamin Fife.

Audiobook Cover

Ebook Cover

Completely Renovated 1968 Kit Companion for Sale

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Fri, 02 Aug 2024 20:02:00 +0000

For Sale: The Midge: Fully Renovated 1968 Kit Companion Travel Trailer

Step back in time with this beautifully renovated 1968 Kit Companion! At 12 feet long x 8 feet wide inside (15 feet long with the tongue), this cozy vintage gem is perfect for weekend getaways or as a charming guest space. With a dry weight of approximately 1900 pounds, she's so light and small you'll barely know you're towing her. Yet despite its compact size, this trailer offers ample storage to keep your essentials neatly organized. Enjoy the freedom of being able to park in compact spaces, and the luxury of a tiny hotel on wheels.

Features:

4 Beds

The versatile layout includes a couch that converts into a full-size bed with a twin-size bunk overhead, and a dinette that transforms into another twin bed, comfortably accommodating four sleepers. (And cozily accommodating up to six sleepers if they are small or like cuddling.)

Heating & Electrical

The Midge features a brand new propane heater which keeps things warm and toasty no matter how cold it is outside. The wiring has been updated to meet modern safety standards, and the Midge now features energy-efficient LED lights throughout. The 100 amp Battle Born lithium battery will power you for several days off the grid.

Kitchen

The Midge includes a brand new 13 gallon water tank and new water lines, as well as a new electric water pump, a new faucet and a built-in soap dispenser. But the kitchen retains its vintage charm with the original turquoise appliances: a fully functional oven so you can bake and cook as you please, and Instead of a modern fridge, enjoy the nostalgia of an icebox that keeps cool for days with just two blocks of ice.

Includes 2 new propane tanks as well as the original leveling jacks so you can glamp just like in ye olden times.

This vintage trailer is a rare find, offering a perfect blend of retro style and modern convenience. Whether you're a vintage enthusiast or simply looking for a unique camping experience, this 1968 Kit Companion is ready to hit the road with you. Don't miss out on owning a piece of travel history!

Contact us (ahemhag@gmail.com) today to schedule a viewing and make this charming trailer yours!

PRICE: $15,300
LOCATION: Spanish Fork, Utah

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Tue, 09 Apr 2024 16:52:00 +0000

Just David by Eleanor H. Porter, narrated by Benjamin Fife.

Audiobook Cover

Ebook Cover

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Mon, 11 Mar 2024 19:32:00 +0000

This may be my favorite book cover I've designed so far. it's just so pretty!

It's the first in a trilogy, so we'll be seeing more of these. This book is currently in its final stages of production, so stay tuned! I'll update the info as soon as the release date is announced!

That Time I Paid Too Much for a Jacket, and then Complained About it for a Really Long Time

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 22:25:00 +0000

THE FACTS ARE THESE:

I needed/wanted a black jacket.
I am a cheapskate.
I like shopping at thrift stores.

With those thrilling facts as a set up, I will now reveal to you that I one day found myself at the local thrift store, trying on jackets. There were several that a really liked. But something must have gone horribly wrong with their pricing sticker machine, because they were expensive. Like $40.00. $40.00! For a used jacket at a thrift store! Well, as I said, I'm a cheap skate, and I wasn't having it. So while they looked amazing on me, I hung them and their expensive pricetags back on the rack.

Except there was this one. Black with faux leather accents. That was really exactly what I was looking for. And it fit perfect. It made my skin look brighter and my IQ higher. But it was $30.00. Still a ridiculous price for a thrift store. But I wanted it enough that I thought I might try haggling a bit at the register. Not something I've ever done before, but why not give it a try?

So I took my overpriced jacket, and my son took the crappy little porcelain music box he wanted to buy up to the register to purchase our wares.

The music box had no price tag on it. I make my kids do their own haggling, so he said to the man at the register, "This doesn't have a price tag. So can I get it for $0.50?"

Register man called a manager over for approval, and the manager said, "This is a nice little music box. We'll sell it for $2.50."

My son had $1.75 to his name. He said, "Oh. I can't get it then."

They said. "Ok." and set it aside, confident that some other compulsive hoarder would come along and buy their dumb music box. I rolled my eyes and told them to add it on to my purchases, because I thought they were being lame.

But then it was my turn. I said, "Thirty dollars seems like a lot for this jacket. Is the price flexible at all?"

Register man said, "Of course!" and called over the same manager who doesn't know how to accurately price things. Manager looked the jacket over, checking the seems for secret veins of gold, and said, "I think we could do $20. No, $25.00. Yes. $25.00."

This is where I should have said, "How about $15.00?" since that was the far upper limit of what I was willing to pay for a used jacket with no recognizable label. But instead, I rolled my eyes again, and said, "Fine." and took my jacket lined with diamonds and my son and his music box and we went home where my son immediately ripped the musical mechanism out of the music box and threw the porcelain cat on the porcelain log away.

You probably think this story is over now, because how long can a person drone on about crap they found at the thrift store? but you are very wrong.

Because the next thing I did was get the jacket cleaned. I bought it at the thrift store. I don't have a clue what sore of hijinks that jacket got up to before I brought it home with me. I wanted to wash all that hijinks off. The label said Dry Clean Only, so I took it to the local dry cleaner, signed the little form promising that if the item was ruined I would not hold them responsible and went about my merry way.

A few days later I went back to pick it up, excited to start rocking my new black jacket. But something wicked had happened at the cleaning facility, and my faux leather sleeves were now stiff, flaking, plastic sleeves. I would never be able to wear it to the library or a funeral, for it was far too noisy.

Did I complain to the dry cleaning cashier. No, Brown Bear, I did not. I had signed the waiver. I could have yelled at her, but what good would it do? In the end, I knew I still would have walked out with a trash jacket they wouldn't take responsibility for. Besides, I am pathologically nonconfrontational, and so I said nothing and took my garbage jacket home.

It has been about a year. That's how long it took for me to come to terms with this, and not fly into a fuming rage every time I tried to write about it.

But here is the thing. The people at the Thrift Store, while they might suck at pricing things, and suck at haggling, they didn't deceive me in any way. They offered a used jacket, at a ticketed price. And I paid. I am the one that paid the price. Even before I sent it to the dry cleaners I was so mad about how much I paid for it that I felt a little sick. Who is the moron in that scenario? Me, that's who. The dummy who paid a price she didn't want to pay for something that no one was forcing her to buy.

And whose fault is it that my jacket was ruined at the dry cleaner? Well, the dry cleaner, obviously, but that is why they make you sign a waiver. Because stuff like that happens, and it probably happens all the time.

What is the moral of this story?

Do you know? I don't. Maybe it is not to be such a cheapskate. Except if I was a TRUE cheapskate I wouldn't have paid $20 to have it professionally cleaned.

Let's check back here in another year, and see if time has lent me any wisdom.

But, since I mentioned it, why does WISDOM sound like WAS DUMB?

Why did I buy that jacket? I don't know. I was dumb. I wisdom.

You have to admit its problematic.

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Thu, 08 Feb 2024 08:55:00 +0000

Splinter's Edge by Boydell Bown

I really only designed half of this cover. It was really only so so, until the author, Boydell Bown, suggested changes to the title font and updates to the backround. And now it is awesome. It hardly counts to put it in my portfolio, but I wanted you to know about it too!

THE UNIVERSE IS TRYING TO KILL HIM

Lahn just wants to ignore the world, build some code with his AI, and hide from the starless green sky.

But when horrible visions of future-tech destruction invade his carefully curated calm, he will have to risk his life and fight his fears to find out if the visions are real, or a product of his own depersonalization.

If the visions are real, everyone’s at risk, especially those he loves most. And no one but Lahn can save them all.

Probably time to put on some pants.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Wed, 22 Nov 2023 08:30:00 +0000

Another cover design for ebook and audiobook.

Audiobook cover

Ebook cover

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Fri, 01 Sep 2023 07:51:00 +0000

Till Koi Do Us Part by Elesa Hagberg

A fun short story about koi, love, and magic gone wrong.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Lessons Learned from our very first cruise.

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Fri, 25 Aug 2023 17:11:00 +0000

We went on a cruise last year, and we learned some valuable lessons that I believe must be shared. You're welcome.

1. Plan in time for Flight Delays.

About 4 hours before we were planning to leave for the airport, we received a notice that our connecting flight had been canceled. Period. No rescheduling, no delays, just canceled. Which meant we could fly to New York, but then we'd be stuck there. My only option was to call customer service. And wait on hold for two hours. So I did. And the lady I eventually talked to was nice and helpful and tried very hard to find another flight for us, but because we had to be in Miami by 2:00 pm, we had a very narrow window to fit the flight in and the only viable flight was full. Sorry for the inconvenience. Wish we could help.

Ultimately, we decided to drive up to the airport as planned and hope that someone there could help us. And if not, we could fly to New York and spend the weekend there. Surely there were worst places to spend a weekend.

But, we found someone smart and capable at the check in counter, and that flight that had been full 4 hours before suddenly had two open seats and she put our names down. We had a flight all the way to Miami.

Still, it spooked me. All the way up until we actually got on the boat, I was sure something would go wrong. That they would have given our tickets to someone else, or that we'd suddenly test positive for Covid, out of the blue, or that our passports would be invalid.

We wanted to take a red eye flight so that we wouldn't have to pay for a hotel in Miami the night before our cruise, but we didn't account for the crap fest that is the airline industry right now. Stuff happens. Weather happens. Things go wrong. We should have allowed some extra time to account for it.

It was pouring rain in Miami. Thus the canceled Flight. That isn't a water feature on the wall behind us. That is rain pouring down the glass of the covered walkway leading onto the boat.

Myth #1: You can buy anything you need on the cruise ship.

FALSE! Yes, there are stores on board the cruise ship. But unless you are in the market for watches or designer hand bags, you probably won't find what you need. For reals. There were two of THE SAME jewelry store, but not one convenience store. Perfume, yes. Expensive sandals, sure. Advil? No, ma'am. Tweezers? Not if your life depended on it.

#5: Bring your own snacks. (I almost wrote snakes there. That might be a good tip too, but you'll have a hard time getting them on board, until you get real creative with your hiding places.)

Say one night you get a sudden craving. M&M's! Any kind will do! Actually, any candy bar at all will work. But this is the same problem as the one above. You can't get snacks anywhere on board. Unless you want Rum Cakes, you are shuck out of luck. I suggest you plan accordingly. Seriously. I just wanted a candy bar. Why does the souvenir shop ONLY sell rum cakes?? Why?

Myth #3 - The dining room is always open.

I might be different on other ships, but on Royal Caribbean that was not the case. My dad always says that his main complaint on his cruise was that they fed him too much. So I was just expected food being pushed at me from every side, all day long. But no. There was a buffet upstairs that was open with extended hours around meal times. But the food was really only so so. Standard cheap buffet food. The food in the formal dining room was fantastic, but the servings were rather small like you would expect in a super fancy restaurant and it was open with much more limited hours, and if you didn't make a reservation you might have to wait for a table for a while.

There were several other restuarants, but half of them were not included with your cruise meal plan, which means you had to pay to eat there, just like you would in any restaurant. It was also rather hard to tell which restaurants were free, and which weren't, so we ususally just stuck to the ones we were sure about. And they were all only open around meal times. You could order room service too, but most of that food also cost extra. Fortunately there was a Ben and Jerrys on board. Yes, their food was not included with the cruise meal package, but the cruise had also kindly given us $100 credit to be spent on whatever we wanted onboard the boat. Richard used a bunch of it on Lobster one night (again, not something that was included in the free meals), but we had to spend the rest on something. Good thing I like Icecream so much.

B) - Take Cash. Or, maybe, don't.

I meant to take cash, I really did. But what with the flight kerfuffle, we never stopped at the bank to get any. Which left us in Nassau Bahamas without any cash. It was the weekend, so there were no open banks, and I didn't even have a debit card to pull cash out of an ATM. Which meant no souvenirs, which was kind of sad, but also gave me an excellent excuse not to buy anything from any of the vendors that were pushing their wares at us.

After hanging out on the beach for a while I would have liked to rent some four wheelers to explore the island, but it started pouring rain, which might have made four wheeling somewhat less exciting.

We just ran around on foot and explored the town and got soaked, and found a woman in a shop who gave us some Bahaman coins, just for fun.

And it was awesome! And we didn't spend an arm and a leg! So who's laughing now?

Well, there you have it. Every single lesson we learned while cruising, that I can think of at the moment.

We tried escargot, which was, you know, snails.

And didn't really mind being in an interior room, because no windows meant it was DARK, and morning sort of lost meaning. It was very restful.

All in all, we had a great time! I may have seen more half-naked women than anyone ever needs to see, but it just makes me all the more excited for our next cruise. To Alaska! Someday!

This is the end.

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Fri, 25 Aug 2023 07:20:00 +0000

Echoes of the Past by Ashley Packard

Anna Wilson is faced with the prospect of starting her first job out of university. She worked hard for this coveted position not for the prestige, but because it fit her life plan, would make her parents proud, and most importantly, the location was close to her grandmother, her only remaining family.

Accepting this job was a seal of fate according to Anna's grandmother, who grappled with the guilt that Anna planned her life around her.

After graduating from university, Anna's world gets turned upside down when she receives the devastating news her grandmother passed away, leaving behind an unexpected inheritance, a chest full of old postcards, and tickets for a trip her grandmother planned leaving in a few weeks.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Wed, 12 Jul 2023 05:06:00 +0000

The Dissection and Reassembly of Cohen Hoard by Elesa Hagberg

The Splinter Press team agonized and debated for a very long time, but the cover for The Dissection and Reassembly of Cohen Hoard has finally been chosen!

I designed several covers, (SO MANY), and Faralee designed several covers, but in the end it was decided that this cover I designed made the right promises and best communicated the genre. Phew!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Audiobook cover:

Paperback/Hardback cover

And there was much rejoicing.

I Am An Author

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Sun, 11 Jun 2023 00:47:00 +0000

Folks, it is official. My debut novel, The Dissection & Reassembly of Cohen Hoard, will be released on September 15th, 2023.

If you like specuative fiction about nerdy guys going on adventures involving dissembodied limbs, this is the book for you!

Lindy likes to help by sitting on my keyboard while I type. She likes to pretend that SHE wrote this book. But it was me. Promise.

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Tue, 30 May 2023 07:04:00 +0000

The Plot, by Theresa Flannery

Another book cover I designed! The Author is working through revisions, but it should be available on kindle soon.

Being framed for her family's murder is only the first problem Emily has to face. The second is that the real killers recruit those they can't kill, and Emily evades their attempts at every turn. With an ex-bounty hunter and the FBI as her only allies, Emily's whole focus is taking down the Cabal before they get a chance to take her down.

Jim loved being a bounty hunter, but he's only got one more case before they close their doors. As soon as he sees Emily's picture, he knows he's in trouble. She's everything he needs in his life, and despite trying to push him away at every turn, she needs him if she wants to survive.

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Sun, 30 Apr 2023 06:31:00 +0000

Mere Mortal by AJ Stevens

INDEED defines a book cover designer as, "a professional who creates artistic covers that match the content of the book". (And if we can't turn to INDEED for our definitions, where can we turn?)

You know what that means? I am a book cover designer! Who saw that coming?

What qualifications do I have, you ask? I took one Graphic Design class my first semester of college, so I've obviously got the training. And I did digital scrapbooking for years, so I've sure got the experience! That must be all it takes!

ABOUT THE BOOK:

Mila will do whatever it takes to save her sister, even walk straight into the one place she should never go: the Immortal City. The problem? She only has one life, and the Immortals will do anything to take it from her.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE!

Audiobook cover:

Paperback/Hardback cover:

Phone Blogging

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:44:00 +0000

Phone blogging (sometimes called phlogging (by me, just now)) has never really been a thing because it's too hard to do. But it would be so much better for me. I spend too much time sitting in front of my computer already. Blogging would be the perfect thing to do when I have down time and nothing but a phone. So it's time for me to figure out how to make it work.

TEST!

Scary Things I found at the Antique Store - Christmas Edition

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Fri, 24 Dec 2021 22:59:00 +0000

Welcome to the Christmas edition of "Scary Things I found at the Antique Store"!

Christmas is almost here, so let's dive right in!

My kids are always asking me to get an Elf on the Shelf. That is never gonna happen, but I did tell them I'd buy them this:

That's the kind of elf that crawls in through your ear and pours tar in your soul. Maybe with that sly little face watching them everywhere they go they will finally be inspired to stop fighting with each other.

The best way of spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. So why does this choir look so terrified?

What's that? You say it's the nutcrackers? Ugh, you guys are such babies.

Wait . . . what in the name of sunflowers is this?

Gah! Is it a CLOWN? I guess there is a reason that people are more of afraid of clowns than they are of terrorist. THAT is how you strike terror into people's hearts, right there.

Hey, look! It's a Jack-In-the Box!

Or . . . Package Girl?? Um, I don't . . .

How about some Santas?

How would you like to run into him and the weird mound of hair he is carrying in a dark alley upon a Christmas Eve?

Or perhaps this guy:

"Me and my Taffy Eyebrows see you when you're sleeping."

Oh, this one's kind of cute:

Though apparently those trees are growing right out of his belly.

No wonder he looks so uncomfortable.

And this one's just mad. "Those dang reindeer keep eating all my cookies!"

I guess we'll just wrap things up with a family friendly vintage Christmas Card.

I bet he said, "Good Girls have noses."

Let's open it up and see:

Wow, real classy Santa. As usual.

On that note, we bid you adieu? I don't know why I put a question mark there, but I'm leaving it. Merry Christmas!!

Geometric Black Wall Treatment in the Master Bedroom

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Tue, 16 Nov 2021 00:12:00 +0000

Here! See some pictures of my room! Quick before the clutter explodes all over the place again!

In case you can't tell, what you see in the above picture is a geometric black wall treatment in the Master Bedroom. We designed the room with this little recess for the bed to sit in specifically so we could have a cool wall treatment.

Here is the wall before:

Ah, Special.

I drew up several designs, and this was our favorite.

You can tell, because I drew a heart in the corner.

Then I painted the wall black. I'm pretty sure this was black paint I bought to paint the shelves in our library, but ended up not liking it. I still wish this was more of a matte finish, but we all have our crosses to bear.

With the wall painted and a stack of 1.5" mdf trim, I was ready to go. Theoretically I should have been able to take measurements and cut the angle perfectly, but I have never had that happen in real life. Pretty much every angle I adjusted it with a hundred tiny cuts until I got it perfect, and then cut the straight edge to length. I got tired of running up and down the stairs after a while and just brought the miter saw into my bedroom. I figured all the dust would be worth it. I have no regrets.

And then there are shelves full of books and Legos. All the things a married couple needs.

The art on the wall below came from HERE. Its a paint by number Mandy from Vintage Revivals had designed to paint on her daughters wall. I just painted it on a big ol' canvas instead. I kind of wish I had done the whole wall, but maybe there is enough going on in here with the black wall treatment behind the bed.

So, there you have it. A black wall treatment in the master bedroom. Are you edified? Enlightened? Enriched? Enraged? I can't take responsibility for all your emotions, so get a handle on yourself.

The Last Smoothie Recipe You Will Ever Need

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Thu, 07 Oct 2021 23:51:00 +0000

This is it! The last Smoothie Recipe you will ever need! Well, unless you want a chocolate smoothie, or an Orange Julius, yum, or maybe a PB&J smoothie, which is one of my favorites. So let me alter my title a little to say "The Last Smoothie Recipe You Will Ever Need From Me". probably.

Here's a picture!

I always start with a frozen banana, a frozen plum (because we have a plum tree, so this is just what I have on hand) and a handful of baby spinach. Then I add two more fruits. In the picture above I used a pear and a handful of mixed berries. Anything is good. Peaches, strawberries, raspberries (which have more fiber per cup than any other fruit), mango, pineapple, whatever. You don't need me to think of fruits for you. I tried Kiwi, and that was good too, but I always wonder, does Kiwi hurt everyone when they eat it, or am I mildly allergic?

Apples are good too, but I recommend only using half an apple, unless you really enjoy chewing your smoothies. I also find that it tastes best if at least one of the fruits is fresh. I often make it with everything frozen except the spinach because that's all I've got, but then I have to add more water to make it thin enough to drink, and the flavor just isn't as rich. Obviously.

I also add Chia Seeds and Flaxseed Meal because their packaging says that they are really good for you. And I sweeten it using Monk Fruit. If you know that Monk Fruit is going to kill me, will you let me know, cuz honestly, I don't even know what it is. Oh, and a scoop of protein powder. But don't add it until the very, very end, because if you blend it too long, it poofs everything up in a way that ceases to be delicious. And that's it. It varies depending on the fruit you use, of course, but it general, they are about 500 calories. Good for you, and stuffed with enough food to tide you over till dinner.

5 servings of fruits/veggies a day = Check!

Bowels ready to empty themselves at a moments notice = Double Check!

ULTIMATE SMOOTHIE RECIPE

1 handful Baby Spinach
1 frozen Banana
1 froze Plum
2 other fruits of your choice
1 to 1 1/2 cup water
1 Tbsp Chia Seeds
1 Tbsp Flaxseed Meal
2 Tbsp Monk Fruit
1 scoop Protein Powder (don't add it until the end!)

Blend it, drink it, love it. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you. Bye.

A Trip to the Uintah Basin

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Mon, 04 Oct 2021 19:07:00 +0000

Thursday

Our plan was to leave Thursday right after school, but because of surprise optomitrist appointments, and forgotten about Parent Teach Conferences, it was 6:00 pm before we left home. We'd hoped to eat in Vernal when we got there, but as it was we stopped at Carl's Jr. on our way out of town. Just like campers of old. At 9:00 pm we were almost to Vernal, but we were ready to stop for the night. Richard reached out with his inner camper's sense and turned off at some random road and found a place to pull over. We put the jacks under the camper and just like that we were ready to hit the hay.

Course the kids weren't ready to fall asleep just yet, so I read out loud to them a bit from "Dune" and they were out in minutes.

FRIDAY

The campsite Richard parked us in turned out to be kind of perfect. The boys explored the nearby hills while I cleaned up and Richard made pancakes.

I LOVE camping in a trailer. 5 minute take down is all it took to get us back on the road and headed for Vernal. First we stopped at the local Field Office to get tips on nearby BLM camping, and any other sites or activities we needed to see. The woman loaded my hands with maps, and our brains with tips and sent us on our way. We still weren't really clear where were going to camp, but Vernal is surrounded by BLM land, so we knew we'd be able to find a spot somewhere.

This map shows what area is BLM land and what isn't. It would be awesome if it was an overlay you could get on Google Maps, but we were mostly able to figure out where we were. We headed for the yellow section of the map, and found a fantastic spot right along the Green River. It was clearly used for partiers and was kind of a mess, but we took a chance and set up camp anyway, figuring that if the entire population of high schoolers showed up that night we could always move somewhere else. I also gave my boys a few garbage bags and had them fill them up and it was looking much nicer in no time.

And then the fun could begin!

About 45 minutes outside of Vernal, nestled in a field of oil derricks, is a little place called

Fantasy Canyon.

Words will not do it justice. Places like these are what pictures are for.

Amazing right? Have any movies been filmed here? I looked it up online, but there weren't any as far as I can tell. It is such a small and fragile place, it might not be possible, but it really looks like an alien landscape just crawled up out of the ground from another world.

This helpful sign was on the outhouse door:

We did NOT see any pigmy rattlesnakes, but you better believe I never let my guard down.

Later that day we went to see the Indian Petroglyph's at McConckie Ranch. We learned about this place at the local field office so we decided to check it out.

We also decided to see what happens when you wink while frowning.

We hiked around and saw lots of cool stuff, but we were getting hungry and tired so we headed back to camp. However, when I was looking up McConckie Ranch online, I found TONS of really cool petroglyphs that we didn't see. So we're going to have to go back! That was pretty much the theme of the whole trip. There is too much to see and do in the Uintah Basin.

We're going to have to go back.

Richard made Patty Melts for dinner and we built a fire on the beach and roasted marshmallows and then put out the fire and looked at the stars. We never saw another living soul, so maybe the locals only party there during the summer months.

I read some more Dune to the kids to help them wind down, and they were snoring in minutes. I'm going to have to remember that. Dune is like a sleeping draft of magicalness.

Saturday

We started the morning (after eggs benedict, for reals, cuz my husband is truly wonderful) at the Utah Field House of Natural History State Park Museum. (I suspect that when they were sitting in the Naming of the Museum Committee meeting they just couldn't come to any kind of consensus, so they named it everything they could think of.)

We learned a lot and took a lot of awkward photos! (Some more awkward than others)

Look at his bravery. He doesn't even care that the Utah Raptor is about to eat him!

Then it was time to head out to Dinosaur National Monument, in Jensen UT!

Another really cool place that will require a lot more exploring. But it was so hot, and dogs are not allowed on a lot of the hiking trails, so this is another place we'll have to come back to.

After lunch we headed for Red Fleet State Park. During the summer you can rent kayaks and paddle boards, which you can use to explore the lake and nearby Dinosaur Trackway. We had no such luck however, so we had to drive around the lake, and hike to the trackway.

Or maybe dance.

Dinosaur Tracks! Right under our feet! They were everywhere! When we'd seen all of the dinosaur tracks we could bear to see, it was time to head back. 1.5 miles each way isn't that big of a deal, right? We just had to climb back up this insanely steep hill.

I hadn't realized we'd gone downhill so much on our way in, but by the time we climbed the mile and a half back up to our car, my legs were on fire. We were hot and tired and thirsty and slurpees were in order. Fortunately, Vernal has five 7-Elevens. For a population of 10,500. And I think we stopped at every single one.

I suppose that is the message I want to leave with you today. Vernal is the heart of Dinosaur Country and the 7-Eleven Capital of the World! So what are you waiting for? Visit the Uintah Basin today!

How To Turn Weeds into Lawn in just 99 Easy Steps

noreply@blogger.com (elesa) — Mon, 08 Jun 2020 04:07:00 +0000

1. Get rid of your old Septic Tank.

Think you don't have a Septic Tank? Well, maybe you don't. Maybe what you have is just a ghetto cavity deep in the ground that your toilet waste has been pumped into for the last 15 years. I don't know. Your sewer set up is really none of my business.

Wanna see a picture of OUR hole in the ground?

Those are actual wooden logs floating in it, FYI. We used a backhoe to dig it up. When we cracked through the slab of asphalt with that was laying across the top, the smell slammed into us like a stinky slap in the face, but after a bit it wasn't so bad. Probably because the smell floated into all our neighbor's yards. It's fun to live in our neighborhood.

Anyway, get that sucker pumped out and filled in and move on with your life as quickly as possible. Then you'll be ready to get to the actual yard work.

2. Chop Down Some Trees.

I mean, you don't have to. But if you are going to chop down any trees, NOW really is the time to do it. You don't want to tear up your pretty new grass during the massacre. This big ol' tree in front of our house was really close to the foundation. It also grew directly over the gas line. And, like half of the trees on our lot, it was growing into the power lines, so every couple of years the city came and hacked the top off. With so many strikes against it, we decided maybe it was time for this tree to move on. Good thing we still had the Manlift!

It started raining on us but I bribed Colin's friends with plates of cookies if they would help us drag all the branches into the backyard and we managed to get most everything cleared up.

Right next to that tree there was a plum tree and a snowball bush that we tried to save, but in the end, they didn't make it.

2. Remove all the Weeds.

First I used Vinegar to kill my weeds, cuz I had read somewhere that it was the best thing to do. It killed a few weeds, but apparently vinegar doesn't kill the roots, so it really doesn't get you much in the long run. So next I used a deadly weed killer and sprayed the heck out of my weeds. A few of them died, but I think my weeds are some kind of super strain, because mostly they just mocked me. I finally gave up and had the front lawn tilled. I found some guy on KSL who was just trying to make enough money to justify the tiller he had bought.

2. Remove all the rocks.

There is no picture for this, but I think you get the gyst.

3. Remove all the rocks.

You missed some.

4. Remove all the rocks.

Nope, you still missed some more.

5. Plan out your sprinkler system!

For this, we used Richard's brother, who planned out the whole system for us. If you don't have a brother-in-law with sprinkler skills, I think Sprinkler World will also work up sprinkler plans for you if you buy your parts from them.

6. Dig your trenches.

We rented this bad boy.

It made the work easier, but it was still exhausting. And because of poor planning, there were still a couple of trenches we had to dig by hand. I swear, digging will be the death of me.

7. Remove all rocks.

I know you think you already did this, but apparently you didn't, because there are still SO MANY. Good luck finding somewhere to put them.

8. Remove all rocks.

I'm not kidding.

9. Remove all rocks.

For reals.

10. Put in your pipes.

Use your brother-in-law for this too, if you can trick him into it.

11. Bake your brother-in-law a cake.

Or cookies. Or maybe a pie. Or he might never talk to you again.

12. Fill in your trenches and rake everything smooth again.

13. Remove all rocks.

You are really bad at this. That's why you have to keep doing it over and over.

14. Wait all winter long because someone at the hydroseed place told you didn't need to call to get on the schedule until October 10th or so, but when you call on the 10th you find out that they stopped spraying hydroseed on October 1st.

Try not to be too bitter about this. But pick a different company to use when its time.

15. It is Spring! Time to kill the weeds again!

Good luck! They are even more resistant to weed killer than they were last year!

16. Remember just in the nick of time that you also need to get rid of the stump leftover from the tree you cut down last fall.

Pay a tree service to grind it out for you because you've learned the hard way that removing stumps yourself is virtually impossible.

16. Rake the soil smooth again.

17. Remove all the rocks.

It is possible that someone is sneaking the rocks back into the soil when you are not around.

18. Get some Topsoil

We had our topsoil delivered from Topsoil.Rocks. That is the name of the company. https://topsoil.rocks/wp-content/cache/all/index.html The price was good and the delivery was free and they left us with a big pile of dirt in the road. Good times.

I spent ALL DAY with my boys shoveling dirt into the wheelbarrow (wheel barrel? I don't know what it is called! I could look it up but I don't care!) and dumping it in piles around the lawn. I made it about a 3rd a way through the pile. So the next day we rented a machine to help us because we wanted to not spend the rest of our lives shoveling dirt.

We wanted to rent a bobcat, but that big thing was the only one we could find on a Saturday. Those stupid tracks tore the crap out of everything. We tried to fill in some holes in the backyard, and it is now a total disaster.

19. Rake the yard smooth.

20. Remove all rocks.

21. Remove all rocks.

22. Remove all rocks.

23. Remove all rocks.

24. Remove all rocks.

25. Remove all rocks.

26. And so on.

27. And so forth.

28. Forever

29-46. and ever......

47. Install Curbing.

The curbing will look too tall after it is installed and you will think it looks wrong, but it isn't! It is supposed to be that high to account for the thickness of the grass when it grows in. It will be fine.

Curbing is sold with a minimum. The guy I used charges for at least 100 feet. Some people require you to pay for 150 feet. So we figure if we were paying for it anyway, we'd put in as much as we could. We were just going to section off space for flowers in front of the house, but we decided to extend it all the way around the side of the house while we were at it. It came out to 90 feet.

The lines looks too wiggly from a distance. I wanted them wavy. But I'm not sure I like the way it turned out. I'm hoping once it is full of plants the wiggly lines won't be as noticeable.

48. Get angry at the weeds that can't take a hint.

Dig them all out by hand.

49. Rake the yard smooth.

It doesn't seem to make a difference. Do it anyway.

50-57. Remove all rocks.

58-63. Curse rocks to the deepest trenches of hell.

64-88. Shake your fists at the sky as the rocks mock you.

The rocks have recruited all their friends to help ruin your life.

89-92. Refuse to give in.

93. Never give up!

94. Never Surrender!

95. You will be victorious!

96. It's Hydroseed time!

We chose Hydroseed primary because of cost. I think I got a quote for sod once. It was in the thousands. I don't remember. Lots of money. The cost for Hydroseed for the same area? $180.00.

Rejoice in the grassy future that awaits you!

97. Cry into your pillow when the city shows up two days later to replace the sidewalk in front of your house, trampling the hydroseed on the easement all to heck.

98. Sit Around and Watch the Grass Grow.

Hydroseed is cheap, but it comes at a cost. The first week especially we constantly worried that we were watering it either too much or not enough and had no idea if we were doing either one. But One Week later we had tiny blades of grass shooting out of the ground!

Look closely. They're there.

99. Take pictures of your brand new baby grass!

WEEK 2

It looks like grass! It really does! And what the heck is that round thing pushing up out of the ground?

Why are you here, giant mushroom?

WEEK3!

Hot dang, would you look at that? There have been several more mushrooms pushing up from the depths of the soil, but I eat mushrooms for breakfast, so they were no match for me.

During week three, we got to mow the lawn and put down fertilizer. Exciting times!

WEEK 4!

Folks, we have grass. We also have weeds. Lots of weeds. But enough time has passed that we can put down a broad leaf weed killer. And weeds are normal in the first year, but hopefully by next year the grass will be strong enough that it will choke out the weeds. You know what they say: The best defense for weeds is a healthy lawn.

So, that's about it. You too can have grass by following these simple steps.

Here is a fun before picture. This is from Google Street View right after we moved back in to our remodeled house. I especially like how cute and tiny the minivan looks in this picture.

And here is how it looks today!

Here is the WAY BEFORE, just for reference:

That's the end. Go home now.

Elesa Hagberg

Completely Renovated 1968 Kit Companion for Sale

For Sale: The Midge: Fully Renovated 1968 Kit Companion Travel Trailer

Features:

4 Beds

Heating & Electrical

Kitchen

More

Contact us (ahemhag@gmail.com) today to schedule a viewing and make this charming trailer yours!

PRICE: $15,300LOCATION: Spanish Fork, Utah

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The Last Smoothie Recipe You Will Ever Need

A Trip to the Uintah Basin

Thursday

FRIDAY

Fantasy Canyon.

We're going to have to go back.

Saturday

How To Turn Weeds into Lawn in just 99 Easy Steps

1. Get rid of your old Septic Tank.

2. Chop Down Some Trees.

2. Remove all the Weeds.

2. Remove all the rocks.

3. Remove all the rocks.

4. Remove all the rocks.

5. Plan out your sprinkler system!

6. Dig your trenches.

7. Remove all rocks.

8. Remove all rocks.

9. Remove all rocks.

10. Put in your pipes.

11. Bake your brother-in-law a cake.

12. Fill in your trenches and rake everything smooth again.

13. Remove all rocks.

14. Wait all winter long because someone at the hydroseed place told you didn't need to call to get on the schedule until October 10th or so, but when you call on the 10th you find out that they stopped spraying hydroseed on October 1st.

15. It is Spring! Time to kill the weeds again!

16. Remember just in the nick of time that you also need to get rid of the stump leftover from the tree you cut down last fall.

16. Rake the soil smooth again.

17. Remove all the rocks.

18. Get some Topsoil

19. Rake the yard smooth.

20. Remove all rocks.

21. Remove all rocks.

22. Remove all rocks.

23. Remove all rocks.

24. Remove all rocks.

25. Remove all rocks.

26. And so on.

27. And so forth.

28. Forever

29-46. and ever......

47. Install Curbing.

48. Get angry at the weeds that can't take a hint.

49. Rake the yard smooth.

50-57. Remove all rocks.

58-63. Curse rocks to the deepest trenches of hell.

64-88. Shake your fists at the sky as the rocks mock you.

89-92. Refuse to give in.

93. Never give up!

94. Never Surrender!

95. You will be victorious!

96. It's Hydroseed time!

97. Cry into your pillow when the city shows up two days later to replace the sidewalk in front of your house, trampling the hydroseed on the easement all to heck.

98. Sit Around and Watch the Grass Grow.

99. Take pictures of your brand new baby grass!

WEEK 2

WEEK3!

WEEK 4!

PRICE: $15,300
LOCATION: Spanish Fork, Utah